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Editors note
John Hoffman, TMC Voices Editor
December 6
Face-to- Face Seminar, Pulling Back Resilience. Thats a word Ive been hearing a lot This edition also features news about some
the Veil, Toronto
over the past 20 years. And, as is the case with new TMC initiatives (would you believe we
December 7 self-regulation, Ive seen a number of different are launching game-based Self-Reg learning?)
Face-to- Face Seminar, Stress conceptions of resilience out there. Some and products, along with a profile of Melissa
Management as a Distributed Social experts say resilience applies only to people Raine, a TMC Self-Reg Consultant with a
Phenomenon, Toronto who have had to deal with very significant particularly interesting (and unusual, for a
adverse experiences or circumstances. Others Self-Regger) background. Finally, weve pulled
December 13
#TMCTalks 7:30 pm EDT
use it in a more general waya set of assets together some stats that show just how much
that helps us maintain and, at times, even TMC and Self-Reg have grown in 2017. That
January 1 regain mental wellness. Dr. Michael Ungar, of growth could not have happened without the
Game-based learning course for Dalhousie University, defines resilience as the dedication, diligence and great work of our TMC
adolescents launches ability to navigate and negotiate resources that community. Thanks so much everyone!
sustain well-being. But, even if we agree on a
January 4 definition, some folks might still wonder, Yeah,
Foundations courses start
but what is it about, or within, a person that
January 10 enables resilience? Character traits? Skills that
#TMCTalks 7:30 pm EDT can be taught? Temperament?
1
November, 2017
EXPLORE PORTAL PLUS
2017/18 SELF-REG
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Self-Reg: There is a widespread tendency to see resilience as a trait. For Self-Reg, it is an
aspiration. We are constantly looking for ways to build a child or teens resilience:
Looking to
their capacity, as Ungar puts it, to access the resources that sustain wellbeing. And,
Lord knows, we need to be doing the same for ourselves these days.
the Future We are in the midst of a perfect stress storm. Extreme social, emotional, and prosocial
stresses have been unleashed and are ricocheting off of each other, straining our
capacity to deal with even the most mundane stresses of daily life. These pressures
By Stuart Shanker have been building for some time; but over the past year they reached a boiling
point, and we suddenly find ourselves struggling to preserve our most fundamental
principles of liberal democracy, and, for that matter, basic human decency. It is the
resilience of our society, our whole way of being, that is now being tested.
Werner defined resilience as a childs capacity to deal with internal and/or external
stresses. Her thinking was that, for whatever psychobiological reason, some
children have more of this capacity than others. From the start in the early
17th century, resilience was associated with the ability to rebound from some
debilitating experience, like illness or adversity. In the early 19th century it became
bound up with the image of elasticity, which is very much the manner in which
we now think about resilience: e.g., in terms of how far an HPA pathway can be
stretched without its breaking.
The problem with seeing resilience as a trait, however, is twofold: first, this leans
towards a static view, when, in fact, there is a flux and flow to our resilience. There
are times when an individualany individualis very resilient, other times much
less so, and we need to learn from the setbacks how to bolster the capacity. And
second is the problem that the trait view sees resilience as a function of an internal
property or attribute: e.g., psychological, or physiological. But resilience, as Porges
explained, is intrinsically social.
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CONTINUED: SELF-REG: LOOKING TO THE FUTURE
we didnt evolve
to be
singletons...
Porges famous line we didnt evolve to be singletons But what happens when social engagement becomes
underscores the idea that we need social engagement dysregulated: not just at the level of the Interbrain, but at a
in order to feel safe and thereby resilient. One of the most societal level?
profound studies Ive seen in this regard is RISK, run by Mary
Waters, Jean Rhodes and Beth Fussell. What had started The time for recriminations or polarized thinking is long
out as research about improving educational outcomes for past. Just as in dealing with trauma one has to acknowledge
low-income parents enrolled in community colleges in New the past while looking to the future, so too, in dealing with
Orleans was suddenly transformed by Hurricane Katrina into a todays perfect stress storm, we have to understand why this
study of resilience. happened and what we can do to make our society even (ever)
more resilient. It is the work of historians and political theorists
Looking at pre/post levels of happiness in 491 female to help us understand how we got here; the work of Self-Reggers
participants, they found that, four years after the disaster, to enable us to look to the future. With Self-Reg, we can create
89% of the women had returned to their pre-storm levels the safe emotional space in which regulated and regulating
of happiness. But 38 of the women continued to have lower political discourse can occur and healing can commence.
levels of happiness four years after the storm. What the latter
had in common was that they were more likely to be living on
their own andreported lower levels of social support from
their communities (both before and after the storm).
4
self-reg people
FIVE QUESTIONS
Self-Reg How did your study of Self-Reg change or
People influence your pre-existing ideas?
Directing awareness towards effective listening
needs as much work as focusing on the child.
Melissa Raine | Self-Reg Consultant and Everything a child says or does involves a relationship;
Foundations Graduate we need to understand the relationship to
understand what the child is telling us. Our most
Why is an expert in medieval English literature studying Self- important contribution to helping children express
Reg? Melissa Raine, a Self-Reg consultant and Foundations themselves is to make them feel safe.
graduate in Melbourne, Australia, is an independent
humanities researcher who happens to be one of the Is there a Self-Reg community in Australia?
worlds leading experts on childrens voice in medieval
English literature. I would say it is under construction. Im looking
forward to its growth, and doing my part by giving
Melissa came to Stuart Shanker and Self-Reg by way of presentations to interested groups.
Stanley Greenspan. I discovered Dr. Greenspans parenting
books when my eldest son was a baby, she explains. He What are you doing differently in your
was very hard to soothe and Greenspans books exhibited personal life as a result of Self-Reg?
the best understanding of how to parent a child who was
not easy to soothe. Without judging, he provided a way Responding more supportively when my kids are
forward. And he took seriously the entire child, body as well struggling.
as brain, in ways that helped me to understand my sons
challenges. It seemed clear that I should learn more about Has Self-Reg helped you identify personal
the work of a man whose parenting books were already stressors that you were not aware of?
speaking to me more coherently than anything else out there.
Rather than ignoring little things I try now to
Eventually the path led to Melissa reading The First Idea, catch them and reflect on them, as they build
where she first encountered the name Stuart Shanker (who up and drain energy. Ive become better at
co-authored that book with Greenspan). She was astonished recognizing when to take a break and come back
to find how much their ideas intersected with her research when my regulation is better.
interests. The First Idea addressed many questions that I
was interested in and also demonstrated the urgent need
What aspects of Self-Reg would you still
to improve our understanding of how children develop, like to understand better?
she says. Pattern recognition, changes throughout the life
Although her familys needs are the primary focus of cycle, and deeper knowledge of how to recognize
Melissas Self-Reg learning, she finds it relevant to her specific processing differences in order to respond
academic research. Several years ago, Melissa received more effectively.
a grant to research childrens voice in medieval English
literature. She began with some basic questions: When do
children get to use their voices in medieval fiction? Under
what circumstances could they express themselves? Is the
main mode of communication linguistic, or are other factors
significant, such as singing, laughing or crying? Does the
sound of a voice often also imply complementary facial
expressions, gestures and postures? Although literature is
fictional, stories where children get to speak for themselves
tell us something about how real children were expected
to behave, as well as how and why they were (or werent)
valued, she says. I became aware that these questions are
just as important for contemporary childhood, especially so
since not all children have the same ability to communicate
their own experiences, due to age and different kinds of
processing, amongst other factors.
5
See A My teenage years remain a blur. I was one of the troubled ones. I was THAT
teenagerthe at-risk kind of kid that neighbours whispered about and relatives
Teenager
avoided asking about at family gatherings. I was THAT kid.
Differently: through Self-Reg, have helped me to see my thatness differently, with softer eyes.
I also know that Self-Reg has the power to help all of us reframe how we see and
understand the teenagers we care about and worry about. The ones we imagine
poor trajectories for, or give labels like at-risk. Its so important to be able to
A Self-Reg Reframe of a Teen remove our cognitive blinders so we can see, not just the at-risk kid, but also just
At-Risk | By Susan Hopkins how competent and capable these young people often are, and how much resilience
is there. It can also help us see how a relationship with even one personmaybe
one of uscould make a huge difference.
When I was a teenager my father once told me that I never finished anything.
These were only words; there were no sticks, no stones involved, but I can assure
you that these words hurt. And they haunted me for many years, ringing especially
true in moments of struggle, when I felt more vulnerable and less resilient.
My dad had little control over my actions from about the age of fourteen, when I
first ran away (for two months and he didnt come looking for me). He would use the
only weapon he had: words. My dads verbal sticks and stones came flying at anyone
who wasnt complying with or recognizing his authority, especially when he was
overstressed. He was quite masterful at mean labels and questioning my integrity,
intelligence, or backbone. Sometimes his verbal stones would come in the form of
expressions of disgust that made you feel that he couldnt bear to even look at you
anymore. Once there was the silent treatment, a you dont exist, version of sticks
and stones that went on for well over a month. He had a way of shackling my sense
of value as a person and filling my backpack with stressors that followed me through
my life, hobbling me in vulnerable moments, bringing out the resilience in me in others.
My dad was struggling with his own self-regulation and my family paid the price.
For years, I had anxiety dreams about not finishing anything. There were the
dreams about the exam I missed, or the ones where I got mixed up on my degree
requirements and somehow missed a full course. The worst ones involved the
anxiety of forgetting something and not being able to remember what it was. They
dont sound like nightmares, but they felt awful. Id wake up feeling sick every time.
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CONTINUED: SEE A TEENAGER DIFFERENTLY
The day my dad told me that I was a quitter who never finished polite. Resilient, right? High school teachers kicked me out of
anything, I pulled off a classic fight-or-flight response with classes in the morning all that time (math class especially) and
my limbic brain in full self-protection mode. My mouth was then a few hours later I was a teachers assistant leading the
obeying the red brain command center and yelling back at him class research study (sociology) and all in the same day.
equally hurtful assaults. I had a friend tell me once that I could
become a junkyard dog when I was hurt. This was my survival So was I resilient or lacking resilience?
brain kicking in to gear.
Did I have the tough upper lip, good citizenship, and hard
Its been six years since my fathers passing and I am now able work goods to be successful in life? Or was my trajectory on a
to see him and memories like this with slightly softer eyes thanks downward spiral?
to understanding of how the brain-body stress system can
Well, if youd asked my dad or my math teacher youd get
wreak havoc on vital relationships of those stuck in a stress cycle.
a very different answer than youd have gotten from my
There was also some truth to his point about my quitting, sociology teacher or my boss at the clothing store where I
giving in and not sustaining. My childhood and adolescence worked. And this was all happening at the same time. Was I
was filled with peaks and valleys, highs and crashes. As I different people, putting on different faces under different
think back to all the unfinished business in my teenage circumstances? No. This was all part of the incredible
years, my question is why and why then? And what are the complexity of being a teenager who was struggling, striving,
connections to resilience that I might be able to share with and over-stressed. Resilience is not a fixed trait in an
others who have their own speckled stories of ups and downs individual. Its context dependent, and looking at it through
and so many circles left unclosed? the lens of the five steps of Self-Reg explains the why and
why now of not just my own behaviours, but also those of my
Looking back, I wonder, did I lack resilience? Did I not have the father, the teachers who influenced me, and the peers who at
goods to endure the tough knocks and so, when things got the time were the center of my world.
too hard, I split? Well, I dropped out of high school twice, was
a so-called at-risk teenager who got into lots of trouble all the Self-Reg can help us navigate this complexity so we can see,
time. I found the outlets for coping through drugs, alcohol, support and appreciate the strengths of the teenagers (and
unhealthy relationships, the in crowd. Lack of resilience, right? anyone else) we worry about. It can also help us share their
journeys with more compassion, more enjoyment at times,
But theres another side to my story. I also held down part-time and a lot less stress for all.
jobs from the time I was 15 and babysat three to five nights a
week starting when I was 11 years old. My bosses always really
liked me because I was so hardworking, dependable, and
7
Self-Regulation in the News
Why telling people with ADHD to try The key here is to try and keep your babys sympathetic
harder simply doesnt work. nervous system (SNS) dialed down... When the SNS is dialled
up, the biological sleep regulators cant do their job and your
baby is unable to find and maintain sleep.
Source: Psych Central, Sept. 2017
Source: bigthink.com
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whats new?
Game-based
learning for High
School Students
In January 2018, TMC will launch an
online Self-Reg game-based learning
course for adolescents. The 14module
course will take teens into an online
noir world, which learners will
navigate via a personal avatar, as
they work to identify the sender of a
mysterious gift which sends anyone
who comes into contact with it into a
limbic state. Through a series of videos,
activities and challenges, the learner
will be immersed into the world of
Self-Reg and learn the skills of being a
stress detective.
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New Self-Reg Toolkit that Dr. Jean Clinton will be joining us again, along with Dr.
Shanker, Dr. Hopkins and other members of the TMC team.
In late summer we introduced our new, updated 2017-18 Self- Our keynotes and sessions will explore many factors in school
Reg School Toolkit. Our goal is to provide practical tools such and life success: resilience, perseverance, motivationeven
asposters, rubrics, charts, discussion guides, graphics and Math anxietythrough a Self-Reg lens. Dr. Shanker will also
checklists to help people on their Self-Reg learning journey. give a special talk on where the science of Self-Reg is leading
Our toolkit was originally introduced in 2016. us next. For further information about the program and how
to take advantage of our Early Bird price, visit our website.
After receiving some valuable feedback from our community,
we identified gaps and areas that we could address to further
aid individuals in schools who are striving to implement Self-
Reg into their professional practice and daily routines. We also
learned some lessons about the level of Self-Reg knowledge
needed to use the tools effectively.
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LEARN SELF-REG WITH
DR. STUART SHANKER
No matter your journey, The MEHRIT Centre has a program that fits your needs!
RegisterToday
www.self-reg.ca/online-courses-with-dr-shanker
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featured resource
The Shanker Self-Reg Knowledge Series is an ever-growing collection of free resources developed
by Dr. Shanker and TMC. From Discussion Guides to our Self-Reg View On Series, each printable
provides a deeper look into key issues and topics in Self-Reg.
Many other Self-Reg tools and resources are available free of charge on our website.
www.self-reg.ca
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TMC by the Numbers
Self-Reg Presentations by Total followers across various
TMC members other than Self-Reg affiliated Twitter Accounts
Stuart Shanker November 2016:
14,000
2016:
October 2017:
21 18,154
2017 (as of October 1):
42
80,000 individuals reached each
month with #TMCTalks
Average # of impressions 900,000
for each #TMCTalks
s i te
eb
M C W,000
T 50 y l
Facebook Likes
o nth ws November 2016:
m vie
e 1231
pag October 2017:
3027
Facebook followers
August 2016:
862
# of published blogs on TMC October 2017:
3174
website
November 2016: YouTube
35 November 2017:
6638 views of 20 videos
October 2017:
September 2017:
67 24700 views of 53 videos
Blog subscribers:
177
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TMC by the numbers
1 2 19
Appearance The Agenda Podcasts Radio Interviews
With Steve Paikin
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community voices
Fostering Resilience
in Children and Adults
Last year, in his blog, The Self-Reg View on Resilience, Dr. Shanker wrote: Resilience, then, according to the
Self-Reg view, rests on how well we can stabilize after a challenge, serious or otherwise. Thats what an adaptive
response to stress or adversity consists in: the ability to get back to our optimal state of equilibrium.
With that in mind, we asked members of our community to answer this question:
How has Self-Reg fostered resilience in your own life, or in the children around you? Here are some responses.
What helps me is looking at both my child and myself with insight rather than anger or punishment. I find that this
soft eyes. Thats related to the idea of reframingof trusting approach also helps me check my personal stress level, or
that the challenging behaviours we observe are likely tension/energy ratio in a heated moment. That helps me to
due to stress, rather that simple bad behaviour. It means calm my mind, movements, and voice etc. so I can become
recognizing that the anger, frustration or over-excitement more regulating for the other person.
is simply a function of the individuals stress level, a limbic
response, rather than a choice. That allows us to see VICKI STORAAS
the whole individual in relation to their hidden and overt
stresses, beyond just their outward behaviour. It also means
approaching the situation with gentleness and thoughtful
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Self-Reg has enabled me to see myself first as a biological From the perspective of a retired military wife, resilience
being. It has allowed me to reframe my thoughts and means that we learned to adapt to unusual circumstances
behaviours through a neurophysiological lens. This stripped-down such as deployment. Reframing helped me to become more
self-view nourishes a sense of humility but also a heightened self-aware of my internal balance and how to recognize those
self-respect as I gain regard for the neural systems that govern outside stressors. Over the years, we have learned to reduce
me. This practice of honouring my biology promotes an overall stressors by reflecting on how far we have come and enjoy
agency, which is energy restoring. As the riddle of my stress where we are yet to go.
and stress processes are increasingly demystified, tension in
TINA BERGMAN
all domains diminishes, especially the cognitive domain. This,
for me, is the essence of growing more resilient.
ANGIE ROSATI
As Dr. Shanker said in one of his blogs, we need to train our kids
about the inner signals we have in order to stop the stress from
taking over our bodies.Training our students when they are calm
instead of trying to train them when they are in the moment, is
key for kids to become resilient and parents as well. For example:
breathing techniques can help with fast breathing, fast heart beat/
putting hand on chest to make you more aware of how stressed
you are, and hot skin or red face when we get over stressed. Being
able to recognize these things and come up with coping strategies
will help children be resilient.
MELISSA STIENEKER
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GROUNDING LIVING AND LEARNING IN SELF-REGULATION
WWW.SELF-REG.CA
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