Reflections on a Spiritual Journey : Excerpts from a Personal Journal

LISTENING TO THE SILENCE

The importance of taking time – out , a time of
‘Retreat’ in order to reflect on the Journey is
well known. Throughout the ages, great
spiritual teachers have advised their disciples to
regularly take time-out in order to find the real
self. This is best done in silence. Because it is
in the silence that we can really begin to hear
the essence of who we really are.

I would like to share some extracts from my

Personal Journal that reflect some experiences
and feelings about 6 days of silence spent in
the hills of Mid-Wales at a small Retreat Centre
known as Brynmahr run by Brian and Dorothy
Scrivenor.

DAY 1 WHAT DO YOU WANT?

I arrived tired and with no preconceptions about my short stay. Angela ( my wife) and I
spent a short time talking with Brian and Dorothy who graciously and generously offered
us hospitality. After Angela had left, I opened a book and a saying of Jesus ‘What do
you want?’ struck me. My immediate reply was ‘Peace’. But on further reflection I
realised that this was a difficult question. What did I really want? I knew I had many
wants, needs and desires and that what I really wanted and needed was a true spirit of
discernment, as this alone would allow me to ‘sort the wheat from the chaff’. So I
decided to rest and sleep and give both body and psyche a much-needed rest. On
reflection, this was true guidance from God and prepared me for the days that followed.

DAY 2 LIGHT AND SHADOW

I listened to a tape by Sister Ishpriya. She remarked on how the longest shadows are
cast at sunrise and sunset and the darkest and most defined
when the light is the strongest and at its peak. She pointed
out, that only the Light of the Spirit ‘casts no shadow’. God is
Light in Him there is no darkness. These reflections were a
great help. I realised that psychologically we all have a
shadow side and I am well aware of mine. Sometimes this
awareness overshadows my life and can blind me to the
light within. Recently, I have become more comfortable with my shadow. It is part of me
and, as shadow indicates the presence of light, it is a sign of my gifts.

© Peter Creagh ( 2010) Heartsease Training & Counselling , Shifnal, Shropshire, UK

 Reflections on a Spiritual Journey : Excerpts from a Personal Journal

I reflected deeply on this during the day. It seems important to accept my shadow- to
work with it and to realise that the brighter the Light in my life – the more aware I
become of the shadow. I found this reflection very helpful. Ishpriya’s talk also helped to
remind me of a very important spiritual truth that the only Light without Shadow is God.
His Spirit lives in me and in everyone else and I am united with this Spirit at my deepest
level. It is there that the Light without shadow can be found and it is there that I find true
peace

DAY 3 DANCING IN THE STILLNESS

I awoke with a great sense of the wonder of Creation. The song of the
birds, the scent of the earth, the sound of the breeze through the trees
and in the background the lambs were calling. After Meditation I took
a short walk along the side of the valley. The air was fresh and filled
with the sense of God’s presence.

I returned to listen to Ishpriya’s talk on stillness and our great need of it. She talked of
the Joy of God dancing within and with us. She used the Hindu Nataraja to partly
illustrate this. Here the Lord of the Dance joyfully celebrates His creation. It is a dance of
joy, of passion, of fire, of Life and Death – death of evil. Ishpriya mentioned our great
need to get in touch with the moments of joy in our life. Such as when I awoke in the
morning. It is in these moments that we meet the Lord of the Dance – we feel God’s
touches.

Earlier that morning, on my walk along the valley, the beauty of creation- struck me the
sky; trees, fields, sheep and birds are all signs of joy. There in the distance was the
church. I was reminded of a time over 1400 years ago, when Celtic Monks – many from
Ireland- had travelled along this valley in Mid-Wales and of their understanding of God,
their great love of creation and of silence. They saw all creation as a reflection of God
and the In-Dwelling Spirit. I resolved to begin to rediscover the daily awareness of God’s
touches that are to be seen and felt all around and within me

DAY 4 DIVERSITY NOT DIFFERENCE

After morning Meditation, I looked at a reading where Jesus says ‘Anyone who is not
against me is for me’ (Mk 9) This struck a chord within and demanded some answer
from me. So I set off to walk towards the distant church. On the way I felt joyful as I saw
the beauty of creation. I was reminded of the verse ‘ In the image of God He made
them, male and female. ‘ And I began to think about what that meant to me

© Peter Creagh ( 2010) Heartsease Training & Counselling , Shifnal, Shropshire, UK

 Reflections on a Spiritual Journey : Excerpts from a Personal Journal

I was reminded of my early life in Ireland. Born a Catholic – a

true accident of my birthplace! Now a convinced
Celtic Christian, but more importantly made, like all
others, in God’s image. So why do we have
divisions? Why the emphasis on difference and
not on God’s diversity? I remembered that as a
child I was told that ‘ Catholics were in the
majority’ and that we Catholics ‘ had the real
truth’. I was to learn later in life about other
Christians, about the vast numbers of Hindus,
Muslims and Buddhists and something of the
beauty and depth of their Faiths. But in childhood I
learned the lesson of number counting Catholicism, all part
of a shallow better than you mentality or mindset. Later on, living in England I met
peoples of all Faiths and none. They have taught me so much and still do

But why am I, like many others, prone to forming an image of God in my own liking?
Why the divisions – not only in the body of Christ- but also between peoples of Faith? I
remembered some of the many good people I have been fortunate to meet; Sr. Ishpriya
– who teaches by her being, Swami Chidananda – a Hindu Sannyasin and a man full of
Godliness and compassion, Mr. Bahadur Singh, from the Handsworth Gurdwara, a Sikh
full of joy and acceptance, The Sufi Imam from the new mosque in Birmingham, who is
gentle and gracious and Harun Rashid, a Bangladeshi Muslim, who works quietly for
Wolverhampton Inter- Faith. Also many of my colleagues, students and clients- of all
faiths and none, living godly lives

Jesus’ words are a great challenge for me and for all. For indeed we are people of the
Light. So I hoped and prayed that these words would guide others and me towards a
greater acceptance of each other and that we would continue to try to break down false
barriers between us. For truly we are all made in God’s image and with wonderful
diversity.

DAY 5 DRAW NEAR

This morning’s reflection was about letting go

and resting in God. So I set off for a walk towards
the village of Abermule. The sun was shining and
the mist lifting. There, like a beacon, stood the
Church. I was drawn by it, my destination
forgotten. As I walked, I reflected on the reading.
It needs both trust and courage to let go and let
God. My mother often says about difficulties in
life ‘ this goes with the territory’ It is part of
ongoing life.

© Peter Creagh ( 2010) Heartsease Training & Counselling , Shifnal, Shropshire, UK

 Reflections on a Spiritual Journey : Excerpts from a Personal Journal

So it is with me. Like the weather my trust and courage are changeable. Sometimes it
seems easy and at other times very difficult. The sun had now gone in and the air was
darker. This seemed to reflect my inner mood – a sense of ‘ if only ‘ struck me. I felt a
great desire to, but also fear, surrender to God.

As I climbed the hill towards the Church- the clouds lifted, as did my spirits.
What had drawn me here to this Church? I knew that in my earlier
years I had been taught about a fearful and punishing God and
this had driven me away. Now in later years I am conscious of
the goodness of God and the good in His Church, and
particularly for me, in Celtic Christianity. Also the many good
and saintly people who have helped me. And that this Church
has stood for over a 1000 years and has probably been a holy
place for several millennium. Somehow I draw comfort, strength
and solace from these thoughts. So after a few prayers of
praise, I walked back down the hill, somewhat comforted. I
know that as I draw near to God the journey sometimes seems difficult and that I need
to trust more. After all – this is ‘part of the territory’ – the Pilgrim’s Journey

DAY 6 DISCIPLESHIP & FREEDOM

Today I have prayed and contemplated these words of Jesus ‘ If you hold to my
teaching, you are really my disciple, then you will know the truth and the truth will
set you free ‘ ( Jn. 8 : 31-32 ) For me, this is the basic challenge of Jesus and a great
gift.

I like to think of discipleship as being a student- one who listens attentively to the
Master. But what does this mean for me? Well I start with myself – for the only way I
can know Jesus is through the Spirit that lives in me. My experience of God is my
starting point. Through this experience, guided by the Spirit, I can ‘know’ the Master. So
I return to the centre- the authentic place at my heart and there I find this peace. Then
moving from this centre I can reflect on and follow the teachings of Jesus. Teachings of
love of God, of self and of others. So mirroring the relationship of love between Father
and Son – I realise that I too am loved, I too am made in God’s image. So also are all
others and to follow the Master is to try to live out this message of love - a love for God,
self and others and for His creation. No barriers, no false divisions , all are equal and all
share in the Oneness

© Peter Creagh ( 2010) Heartsease Training & Counselling , Shifnal, Shropshire, UK

 Reflections on a Spiritual Journey : Excerpts from a Personal Journal

FINAL THOUGHTS

My time here has helped me to remember that this is a day-by-day following of the
Master and not a once in a lifetime conversion. For this I need the discipline to return
regularly to the centre – to find the spirit within. But most of all, I need God’s grace and
thankfully that is freely and generously available to all who wish to drink deeply of the
waters, truly a gift of total freedom.

I spent six days of reflection and stillness, in the beautiful countryside of mid-Wales.
I experienced a variety of feelings , emotions and thoughts. I feel that I gained much. I
certainly learned the importance of stillness for me and of recognising God’s Presence
in myself, in others and in His Creation. I returned determined to continue to find
space for more of these moments with God, to Journal and to try to be more aware of
the oneness of all within and of the rich diversity that God has lovingly chosen to create.

Peter Creagh

© Peter Creagh ( 2010) Heartsease Training & Counselling , Shifnal, Shropshire, UK