Slides Practitioner 5

Effective Conversations - Practitioner Session 5
TM
Effective Conversations
Practitioner - Session 5
www.MicroExpressionsTrainingVideos.com - by Patryk & Kasia Wezowski - Page 1 of 40

Program for today
How to lead Effective Conversations?

4 Principles of Effective Conversations
The Effective Conversations 4A Model
Examples
Q&A

Your business partner says:

I really appreciate your help
in this project

You answer:
Oh, really? And what this disgust

is doing on your face?

Your business partner answers:

What are you talking about?
Are you crazy?

You answer:
No, Im not. I just followed a

course in Micro Expressions.

Your business partner answers:
A course in WHAT?

Principle#1 - Rapport
Its good to know

how to respond

4 Principles for Effective Conversations:

Rapport
Build rapport by
empathy, recogni6on
and context

Principle #1 - Rapport
Making business is not at all about

detecting lies!
Sherlock Holmes doesnt work here

Principle #1 - Rapport
Give attention to the perspective of the other person
Adjust your pace to other person (level of enthusiasm,
energy, relax, comprehension)
Use opening gestures and match with body language
Make sure that the other person feels comfortable
Feel comfortable yourself

Rapport
Build rapport by
empathy, recogni6on
and context
Perspec+ve
Give a:en6on to 4
perspec6ves: I, You,
Our, We
12

Principle #2 - Perspective
Ask in your head:

Why are you here today?
& Go deeper:
What are the reasons you do that job
or why are you looking for that job?

Buddhistic exercise with a sheet of paper:

Why are you here today?
& Go deeper:
Where do you come from?
How many people participated in your creation?
What were motivations of those people to create you?
What was the cost of producing you?

Put yourself in that persons shoes for a moment

What this conversation would mean from their perspective?
How important is this meeting for them?
How to find a common ground?
How to make your offer more attractive from their
perspective?


Rapport
Build rapport by
empathy, recogni6on
and context
Perspec+ve
Give a:en6on to 4
perspec6ves: I, You,
Our, We
Context
Respond in a respecCul
way taking all context
into account
16

Principle #3 - Context

Proud of himself?
Feeling superior than you?
Not telling you all the truth?
The answer depends on the context

WARNING:
Dont mistake with the situation when a person
has an emotional pattern of showing Contempt,
Anger or other emotions
independently of the context!

Doesnt he like what you are saying

right now?
Doesnt he like your offer in general?
Does he think about the Chinese
fast-food he had for lunch?
The answer depends on the context

My previous employer was very happy

about my performance on this project
My previous employer was very happy about my

performance on this project

Dont focus only on one Micro Expression but listen well to the sentence
If you talk and you see a Micro Expression, check using the BLINK
Conversation Technique, whether it was a true reaction on your words
Check if this Micro Expression pattern repeats in the same context
Answer in a respectful way trying to relate to the words where you saw a
Micro Expression as much as possible
Your goal is not to do investigations but to move the conversation into a
more positive outcome

My boss is very enthusiastic about your

products
Your question: And what do you think about our products?
Its not a place to ask about their relationships. Check how enthusiastic is your client. If he is
not so enthusiastic, talk directly with the boss.

My boss is very enthusiastic about your

products
Your question: How could we make our offer even more attractive for you?
There was a Disgust, so we dont see any signs of enthusiasm. Lets change the vibes of the conversation and try
harder to find advantages of your offer.


Rapport
Build rapport by
empathy, recogni6on
and context
A1en+on Perspec+ve
Give enough space for Give a:en6on to 4
ac6on and follow-up if perspec6ves: I, You,
needed Our, We
Context
into account
25

Principle #4 - Attention
Patryk: Honey, were are my keys?

Kasia: In the fridge.
Patryk: I think I saw them
on the sofa.
Kasia: Bring one also for me.


Listen carefully what the other person is trying to say
Instead of taking initiative all the time, give space to other person
Show attention to other person with your body language
Make small summaries of what was just said, by trying to use some words
of the other person (this is also a good opportunity to use BLINK)
Make sure that you are not forcing the other person, rather let them
decide


Rapport
Build rapport by
empathy, recogni6on
and context
A1en+on Perspec+ve
Give enough space for Give a:en6on to 4
ac6on and follow-up if perspec6ves: I, You,
needed Our, We
Context
into account
29

How to Lead Effective Conversations?

Body Language Conversa0on
Aim Aware Ask Act
Why should you respond? Who are you dealing with? What do you say? How can you achieve the result?
- Do you experience empathy? - How can you respond eec6vely? In - Do you leave enough space for your
- I: What is your inten6on? - Do you FEEL what the other person other words: how can you respond conversa6on partner to take
- You: Whats in it for them? is looking for? while being aware of the emo6on ini6a6ve for ac6on?
- Our: What is the aim of the - What is the basic emo+on you saw you saw combined with staying - Do you give a clear signal about
conversa6on? in the body language? focused and remembering the aim? your expecta6ons?
- We: How can we achieve a win- - Do you give a:en6on to the 4 - How can you relate to the emo6on - Do you do follow-up on the result
win? perspec+ves? you saw in the context of the from your response?
- Do you consider the context of the conversa6on?
conversa6on? - How can you reach a win-win in a
respecCul way?
- How can you show you care?
Ques0ons that will

guide you...
30

How to Lead Effective Conversations?

Body Language Conversa0on
Aim Aware Ask Act
Why should you respond? Who are you dealing with? What do you say? How can you achieve the result?
- Do you experience empathy? - How can you respond eec6vely? In - Do you leave enough space for your
- I: What is your inten6on? - Do you FEEL what the other person other words: how can you respond conversa6on partner to take
- You: Whats in it for them? is looking for? while being aware of the emo6on ini6a6ve for ac6on?
- Our: What is the aim of the - What is the basic emo+on you saw you saw combined with staying - Do you give a clear signal about
conversa6on? in the body language? focused and remembering the aim? your expecta6ons?
- We: How can we achieve a win- - Do you give a:en6on to the 4 - How can you relate to the emo6on - Do you do follow-up on the result
win? perspec+ves? you saw in the context of the from your response?
- Do you consider the context of the conversa6on?
conversa6on? - How can you reach a win-win in a
respecCul way?
- How can you show you care?
Ques0ons that will

guide you...
31

Practice
I have to discuss my final decision with Andy

Practice
Your question: We are ready to give you a special offer.

What would be of added value for you?
If you dont want to loose this client, this is your last chance to add something special to your offer.

Practice

Practice
Your question: When can I schedule a call or an appointment with Andy?

She is afraid to decide herself. Andy is the real decision maker.

Practice
Im ready to start working in your company tomorrow

Practice
Your question: What makes you so enthusiastic about working with us?
This person is probably lying and saying this out of necessity.

Practice

Practice
Your question: Which of your skills could add value to our company if you start
tomorrow?
This person is probably not so sure about her skills.

Patryk & Kasia Wezowski

Founders of Center for Body Language

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Effective Conversations - Practitioner Session 5

www.MicroExpressionsTrainingVideos.com - by Patryk & Kasia Wezowski - Page 1 of 40

Program for today

How to lead Effective Conversations?

www.MicroExpressionsTrainingVideos.com - by Patryk & Kasia Wezowski - Page 2 of 40

Your business partner says:

www.MicroExpressionsTrainingVideos.com - by Patryk & Kasia Wezowski - Page 3 of 40

Oh, really? And what this disgust

www.MicroExpressionsTrainingVideos.com - by Patryk & Kasia Wezowski - Page 4 of 40

Your business partner answers:

www.MicroExpressionsTrainingVideos.com - by Patryk & Kasia Wezowski - Page 5 of 40

No, Im not. I just followed a

www.MicroExpressionsTrainingVideos.com - by Patryk & Kasia Wezowski - Page 6 of 40

Your business partner answers:

www.MicroExpressionsTrainingVideos.com - by Patryk & Kasia Wezowski - Page 7 of 40

Its good to know

www.MicroExpressionsTrainingVideos.com - by Patryk & Kasia Wezowski - Page 8 of 40

4 Principles for Effective Conversations:

www.MicroExpressionsTrainingVideos.com - by Patryk & Kasia Wezowski - Page 9 of 40

Making business is not at all about

www.MicroExpressionsTrainingVideos.com - by Patryk & Kasia Wezowski - Page 10 of 40

4 Principles for Effective Conversations:

www.MicroExpressionsTrainingVideos.com - by Patryk & Kasia Wezowski - Page 12 of 40

Ask in your head:

www.MicroExpressionsTrainingVideos.com - by Patryk & Kasia Wezowski - Page 13 of 40

Buddhistic exercise with a sheet of paper:

www.MicroExpressionsTrainingVideos.com - by Patryk & Kasia Wezowski - Page 14 of 40

Put yourself in that persons shoes for a moment

www.MicroExpressionsTrainingVideos.com - by Patryk & Kasia Wezowski - Page 15 of 40

4 Principles for Effective Conversations:

www.MicroExpressionsTrainingVideos.com - by Patryk & Kasia Wezowski - Page 16 of 40

www.MicroExpressionsTrainingVideos.com - by Patryk & Kasia Wezowski - Page 17 of 40

The answer depends on the context

www.MicroExpressionsTrainingVideos.com - by Patryk & Kasia Wezowski - Page 18 of 40

www.MicroExpressionsTrainingVideos.com - by Patryk & Kasia Wezowski - Page 19 of 40

Doesnt he like what you are saying

The answer depends on the context

www.MicroExpressionsTrainingVideos.com - by Patryk & Kasia Wezowski - Page 20 of 40

My previous employer was very happy

My previous employer was very happy about my

www.MicroExpressionsTrainingVideos.com - by Patryk & Kasia Wezowski - Page 21 of 40

www.MicroExpressionsTrainingVideos.com - by Patryk & Kasia Wezowski - Page 22 of 40

My boss is very enthusiastic about your

www.MicroExpressionsTrainingVideos.com - by Patryk & Kasia Wezowski - Page 23 of 40

My boss is very enthusiastic about your

www.MicroExpressionsTrainingVideos.com - by Patryk & Kasia Wezowski - Page 24 of 40

4 Principles for Effective Conversations:

www.MicroExpressionsTrainingVideos.com - by Patryk & Kasia Wezowski - Page 25 of 40

Patryk: Honey, were are my keys?

www.MicroExpressionsTrainingVideos.com - by Patryk & Kasia Wezowski - Page 26 of 40

www.MicroExpressionsTrainingVideos.com - by Patryk & Kasia Wezowski - Page 27 of 40

www.MicroExpressionsTrainingVideos.com - by Patryk & Kasia Wezowski - Page 28 of 40

4 Principles for Effective Conversations:

www.MicroExpressionsTrainingVideos.com - by Patryk & Kasia Wezowski - Page 29 of 40

How to Lead Effective Conversations?

Aim Aware Ask Act

Ques0ons that will

www.MicroExpressionsTrainingVideos.com - by Patryk & Kasia Wezowski - Page 30 of 40

How to Lead Effective Conversations?

Aim Aware Ask Act

Ques0ons that will

www.MicroExpressionsTrainingVideos.com - by Patryk & Kasia Wezowski - Page 31 of 40

www.MicroExpressionsTrainingVideos.com - by Patryk & Kasia Wezowski - Page 32 of 40

Your question: We are ready to give you a special offer.