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Ralph Frem

Professor Corri Ditch

English 115

4 October 2017

Fabricated Notions of Interaction in Gender Spaces

In American Society today, many people feel obligated to tweak the tone of who they are

to adapt and conform to socially construct norms. The simple awareness of social construct

norms would be being dominant for males, and being submissive for females. Unfortunately, this

creates a made-up ideology for peer-interaction. This notion does not allow people to be who

they truly are, and aim only to please socially construct norms. This concocted notion of

interaction in certain spaces has been implemented from an early age for everyone. With that

said, I am no different in my daily life. From my job as a Stage Technician where the possibility

of feeling out of place and not be accepted with my co-workers, to interacting with my friends

depending on their gender, I will always have a plan in how I adapt to, and or alter my gender

performance. This ideology has become a norm, especially in American Society today, people

will always feel the need to enhance their gender performances depending on the specific gender

space. The reason why people feel this way is that the repercussions of being different in a

gender space can lead to criticism and shaming. These repercussions can make people hesitant

on truly being themselves.

In American Society, many people conform to two identities, the masculine or feminine

identity. The reason people conform to these two identities is the cause of socially construct

gender notions. If people do not conform to their own identity, it can cause others to look at and

treat them differently, which is something not many people enjoy. When a child grows up, they

are taught that they are either female or male, and nothing in between. This contributes to how
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individuals think about gender, and most importantly replicates their ideas through interactions.

It is a very restrictive way of thinking, and doesnt allow much room for a new perspective. In

the book Composing Gender, Judith Lorbers Night to His Day, Lorber states We have to

look not only at the way individuals experience gender, but gender as a social institution (21).

When looked at as a social institution, it is easy to see that gender is important to society because

it helps people organize their lives. If people are unable to fit someone into a gender, they feel

uneasy. This is just an example of the way we have adapted to societys gender predicament.

When looking at gender as a social institution, it also explains why we feel the need to perform

differently in gender spaces. If people are not in their preferred institution, they may be shamed

for being a part of an incorrect identity. It helps to show aspects of all genders and how

individuals are expected to perform in their spaces, similar to criteria to follow for a class

project. This is the main cause of why people feel the need to fix the way they act in different

spaces, which does not allow them to be their true selves with interaction.

One of the most recognizable ways I conform to these socially construct norms is at my

work. I am a Stage Technician at Six Flags Magic Mountain, and this job occasionally requires

hefty labor, from building Fright Fest mazes to moving heavy stage equipment. In this job, I feel

the need to attribute more masculine traits and prove myself to my superiors and other co-

workers. If I do not attribute masculine features, I feel that I would be looked upon in an

unacceptable way. As Aaron Devor states in Becoming Members of Society: The Social

Meanings of Gender To the degree that children absorb the generalized standards of society

into their personal concept of what is correct behavior, they can be said to hold within

themselves the attitude of the generalized other. This generalized other is what nudges me to

believe that I have to act a certain way to not be criticized. To avoid this way of thinking, I will

always offer to do jobs or take up a lead position in certain projects. The tone in which I speak
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also changes between my female and male co-workers. I feel the need to soften my tone with my

female co-workers, but once I am with my male co-workers, I attribute a much different tone.

This is seen all around, my male co-workers are also very aggressive with each other by making

rude jokes and demeaning others works. However this is completely different when they are

with female co-workers, especially because they know how rude their jokes can be. But

something that I found out is that my tone does not change to my female superiors, because they

attribute much more masculine traits due to the nature of the job. I realize even sometimes my

female superiors might be a little more intimidating than my male superiors, this forces me to

talk to all my superiors in the same way, which would be my masculine tone. All these examples

prove that I have conformed to social construct norms because if I did not, I would feel out of

place, and not be accepted with my co-workers.

Masculinity is very important to many males, it is what defines them in society, and

without masculine features, males feel that they are in a low position. Aaron Devor states

Masculinity, like femininity can be demonstrated through a wide variety of cues (42). Said

cues are vital to showing ones gender, especially to males. For example, when I began gym

class in high school, I did not enjoy changing in the locker room in front of all my peers. This led

to ridiculing by my peers which made me feel very uncomfortable. This is an example of a type

of cue, that If I do not change in the locker room, I am not as masculine as I may seem to be.

Cues like these are how men strive to achieve a certain status which will define them in their

lives. None of my male friends have ever felt comfortable with being looked upon as feminine,

and this has only grown from middle school to college. The average male, to social construct

norms, would be tall, deep voiced, and of course muscular. If one does not fit this norm he may

be looked down upon and not seen as a fit to be part of the male conformity in society.

Therefore, some cues are significant to prove to peers in spaces. That is also why I choose to
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attribute much more masculine features during my shifts at Six Flags. I feel that to conform to

norms, I need to prove myself through said cues or else I will not be looked at as masculine.

And as it is today, if I am looked at as feminine for certain traits, I will be disgraced for not

conforming to my gender role in society.

This ideology has been true since my first day of school, I always knew there was a

specific way to interact with my female friends. By specific way, I mean tone and actions around

these female friends. I would talk in a softer tone and try to discuss ideas that did not revolve

around masculinity. I believed that some topics of discussion might cause my female peers to

back away a little. I especially remember the different games that we would play with our female

friends in middle school, reason was so the girls did not feel left out. Today, I still act a little

differently around my female friends, but not as drastically as before. I believe when I attribute

to female conformity with my female friends, it has helped me gain their respect and trust as a

friend. For example, throughout high school many girls chose the words sweet and kind if

they were asked to describe me. However, if you ask my male friends theyll most likely tell you

otherwise and might even have evidence to back up their claims. This is even more true in

previous relationships I had, where girls will realize the softer side to me that is not shown to

anyone else. My tone has a very noticeable shift between these two groups, and it has allowed

me to have a variety of friends. Changing some of my traits allowed me to be accepted in

social groups. This proves that ever since my early age, I felt the need to adhere to certain social

norms to feel accepted, and it has sometimes not allowed me to be my true self with some people

that I interact with.

My interactions with people is variable and it depends on a certain space I am in. In

Aaron Devor states Speech and dress which likewise demonstrate or claim superior status are

also seen as characteristically masculine behavior patterns (43). An example would be if one
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person was to control the direction of the conversation, this is a more masculine trait. This is

something that I have noticed, and that is why usually in a conversation with a female friend I try

to back down a little bit, and allow that friend to speak more than I. This allows her to feel that

she is a friend, and that I am not as aggressive as I seem with my male friends. I feel that if I

attribute too much masculine characteristics I will come off as too much and seem

unappealing. This demonstrates that whatever space I am confined to, my instinct will be to

change my general tone to whatever is found appropriate, whether it be with my female or my

male friends.

Due to Societys socially construct gender norms, many people feel the need to have their

tone changed depending on their space. As I have discussed, my tone will vary in a drastic way,

depending on what I am doing and who I am with. I feel that If I do not act the way I do, will be

looked upon differently and incorrectly. The obligation to feel this way is the cause of a series of

teachings and experiences that have impacted me in the past. Without the ways, I have acted

through my social interactions, I believe that my personality will be completely different. Acting

this way in society does not allow individuals to truly be the way they are, unfortunately this has

become a norm and allows the concocted notion of interactions to continue in society today.
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Works Cited

Groner, Rachel, and John F. OHara. Composing Gender: a Bedford spotlight reader. Bedford/St.

Martins, 2014. Judith Lorber Night to His Day Pg.21 We have to look not only at the

way individuals experience gender, but gender as a social institution

Groner, Rachel, and John F. OHara. Composing Gender: a Bedford spotlight reader. Bedford/St.

Martins, 2014. Aaron Devor Becoming Members of Society: The Social Meanings of

Gender Pg.42 Masculinity, like femininity can be demonstrated through a wide variety

of cues

Groner, Rachel, and John F. OHara. Composing Gender: a Bedford spotlight reader. Bedford/St.

Martins, 2014. Aaron Devor Becoming Members of Society: The Social Meanings of

Gender Pg. 43 Speech and dress which likewise demonstrate or claim superior status are

also seen as characteristically masculine behavior patterns

Groner, Rachel, and John F. OHara. Composing Gender: a Bedford spotlight reader. Bedford/St.

Martins, 2014. Aaron Devor Becoming Members of Society: The Social Meanings of

Gender Pg. 38 To the degree that children absorb the generalized standards of society

inot their personal concept of what is correct behavior, they can be sadi to hold within

themselves the attitude of the generalized other.