Mr.

Burell SAS Social Studies Writing Skills

Essay Writing Standards 1: Titles, Thesis Sentences, and Body

Paragraphs

A. Directions: Read this slowly, in a quiet place, when youʼre awake. And keep it to
read a few more times over the year. Because this isnʼt homework. This is a
letter to you.

Introduction: An Essay on Writing to Introduce a Second Essay That Follows It

" I wrote the short essay below -- the one that follows this short essay -- for you today
for our discussion of those mysteriously powerful and, in my view, often sinister things
called “institutions.” But I also wrote it to give you an example of what an “A” looks like for
essays in my class.
" Iʼm not talking about length; Iʼm talking what makes writing good -- ideas, form, and
that very important thing called style, which is the “fashion” you dress your ideas in. It
makes all the difference between interesting and boring writing. And as Iʼve already told
you, in my class, as in life, your job is above all not to be boring -- not in your writing, not
in your speaking, not in your ideas -- but to be interesting.
" And you can do that more easily than you might think, if you stop reading this like
homework from another blah-blah-blah teacher, and instead take it as the chance to really
think about that most important skill called writing which, if done well, in job applications
gets you a job in the real world and, just as importantly, in love letters can get you a love. (I
was young once. I say that from experience.)
" Iʼm not banging these words out to you right now. Iʼm composing them for you.
Because I really want you, by the end of our year together, to both write better, and to
enjoy the feeling of writing well. Again, I know what Iʼm talking about. I get frustrated,
almost depressed, when weeks goes by and I havenʼt written, because it feels so good I
miss it. I want you to know that feeling.
" So the little essay that follows this little essay tries to be interesting to you, because
Iʼm a writer, and I know the First Commandment of Writing:

" Thou shalt write for thine own pleasure, but also for thy readerʼs.

That means your ideas are interesting, and the way you dance with them makes your
reader hope the song is a long one. You also organize your writing so the reader doesnʼt
get lost. As for your words, you choose them like you choose your clothes every day:
because they match the idea and the other words best. You choose the ones that seem
natural and donʼt stand out like hot pink socks with a black suit (and if youʼre busting out
your longest S.A.T. words too many at a time, look at your writing in the mirror and ask
yourself if half those words arenʼt pink socks indeed, and if maybe “use” is better than
“utilize,” “but” a bit more natural than your tenth “however,” “kiss” much more pleasant than
-- just kill me -- the dreaded “osculate.”) You make sure your sentences have some music
-- commas and other pauses to give it life, series to give it beat and lilt, tight little short
sentences after too many long ones -- so your reader doesnʼt fall asleep on the twentieth
3-line sentence in a row. You give us a short sentence for a break. Yer speling duznʼt suk
and. you Dont mayk awl sortz of; stranges grammatically error, which can make readers
scream at your rudeness. And if youʼre really good, you throw in some nice metaphors,
 Mr. Burell SAS Social Studies Writing Skills

analogies, images, and other things that surprise us like a flower growing out of a cement
crack.
" Notice, reader-student, two things about that last paragraph: first, each sentence
tries to model in form the ideas its expressing. Look at that sentence on rhythm, for the
most obvious example. And second, itʼs my way of admiring how smart The Six Traits are
as a way of thinking and talking about -- and doing -- writing.

B. Directions: Now read this. Itʼs not a letter. Itʼs an essay.

Flag-Waving, God-Fearing, Communist-Hating Institutions:

Childhood in the American South

" Institutions in Tennessee -- a strongly conservative, tradition-bound state in the

American South -- shaped Clayʼs childhood identity in several key ways.
" The education he received in that institution called “elementary school” is a case in
point: it seemed determined to mold him in the tradition-honoring Southern image. Each
school day began, for example, with students standing to recite the “Pledge of Allegiance
to the Flag.” The words of that pledge formed basically a checklist of all the traditions that
Southerners held dear: Loyalty to the country in “one nation,” Christianity in “under God,”
and the value of individual freedom in “with liberty ... for all.” Another detail of his schooling
brings out how Tennessee, in Clayʼs childhood during the late 1960s, was willing to violate
the US Constitution it was telling its young to honor with the Pledge. How? By not honoring
Thomas Jeffersonʼs principle of the “Separation of Church and State.” Every Monday
morning in elementary school, an ancient little old lady with blue-roped, veiny hands would
give Bible lessons to all the students, no matter what their religion.
" Another institution that shaped young Clayʼs identity was the U.S. federal, and the
Tennessee state, government. The Cold War between the capitalist-democratic USA and
the communist-dictatorial Soviet Union and China was in full heat during those years, and
American governmental institutions did their part to make Clay “know” these things:
Communist economies and non-democratic political institutions of Americaʼs enemies are
“bad”; Americaʼs capitalist economic institutions, on the other hand, and its democratic
political system, are good. Growing up, Clay was bombarded with presidents and other
politicians on TV and radio constantly using phrases like “the godless communists” and
“the evil empire,” leaving him to think that all Russians and Chinese were immoral, sinful,
evil people.
" He believed that, until he traveled to those countries and met those people. Then he
realized that he no longer trusted a lot of what his childhood institutions taught him about
life and the world -- and the more he thought about that, the more his identity changed. In
this way, just as he outgrew the clothes of his childhood, he outgrew the teachings of many
of its institutions. He looked at life with his own eyes, thought about what he saw with his
own ideas, and over the years became a man free to shape his own identity into
something unique.

Now go on to the next page.

 Mr. Burell SAS Social Studies Writing Skills

! C. Directions: Look at the color key below. Then see how the essay above fits the
" outline by reading the “colored version” after the color key.

Color Key:
Thesis Sentence (Idea of whole essay)
I. Topic Sentence (Main idea of Body Paragraph that gives one Main Argument to
support the Thesis Sentence)
A. Main Supporting Idea 1: Expands on or gives first good argument to “prove” or
support idea of Topic Sentence
1. Supporting Detail(s): Example(s) or other specific evidence to support the Main
Supporting Idea
B. Main Supporting Idea 2: Expands on or gives first good argument to “prove” or
support idea of Topic Sentence
1. Supporting Detail(s): Example(s) or other specific evidence to support the Main
Supporting Idea
Transition or other “Signal Words” to communicate to your reader where youʼre going
next (ex.: “Another,” “Also,” “A case in point,” “a second example”), or how one idea
relates to another (ex.: “on the contrary,” “on the other hand,” “similarly,” “thus,”
“therefore,” “so”). Theyʼre like traffic signs to tell your reader where they are in your
thoughts. They help make organization clearer.
II. Conclusion: re-connects to main topic, but not just to repeat it like some boring
schoolboy doing homework, but to end with insight that makes the reader close with a nice
“hmmm” or “a-ha” or “how interesting.” If writing is a writerʼs “first date” with the reader --
and it is -- the conclusion is the “kiss at the doorstep” at the end of your “date”: you want
them to “go out with you” again -- to want to read you again -- so you do your best to close
the readerʼs time with you pleasantly.

Flag-Waving, God-Fearing, Communist-Hating Institutions:

Childhood in the American South

" Institutions in Tennessee -- a strongly Conservative, tradition-bound state in the

American South -- shaped Clayʼs identity in several key ways.
" The education he received in that institution called “elementary school” is a case in
point: it seemed determined to mold him in the tradition-honoring Southern image. Each
school day began, for example, with students standing to recite the “Pledge of Allegiance
to the Flag.” The words of that pledge formed basically a checklist of all the traditions that
Southerners held dear: Loyalty to the country in “one nation,” Christianity in “under God,”
and the value of individual freedom in “with liberty ... for all.” Another detail of his schooling
brings out how Tennessee, in Clayʼs childhood during the late 1960s, was willing to violate
the US Constitution it was telling its young to honor with the Pledge. How? By not honoring
Thomas Jeffersonʼs principle of the “Separation of Church and State.” Every Monday
morning in elementary school, an ancient little old lady with blue-roped, veiny hands would
give Bible lessons to all the students, no matter what their religion.
" Another institution that shaped young Clayʼs identity was the U.S. federal, and the
Tennessee state, government. The Cold War between the capitalist-democratic USA and
the communist-dictatorial Soviet Union and China was in full heat during those years, and
American governmental institutions did their part to make Clay “know” these things:
Communist economies and non-democratic political institutions of Americaʼs enemies are
“bad”; Americaʼs capitalist economic institutions, on the other hand, and its democratic
political system, are good. Growing up, Clay was bombarded with presidents and other
politicians on TV and radio constantly using phrases like “the godless communists” and
 Mr. Burell SAS Social Studies Writing Skills

“the evil empire,” leaving him to think that all Russians and Chinese were immoral, sinful,
evil people.
" He believed that until he traveled to those countries and met those people. Then he
realized that he no longer trusted a lot of what his childhood institutions taught him about
life and the world -- and the more he thought about that, the more his identity changed. In
this way, just as he outgrew the clothes of his childhood, he out-grew the teachings of
many of its institutions. He looked at life with his own eyes, thought about what he saw
with his own ideas, and over the years became a man free to shape his own identity into
something unique.

D. Directions: Write an essay like the one above -- a thesis sentence, two body
paragraphs, and a conclusion -- about the most interesting institutional effects on
your intervieweeʼs life. Use the form of the short essay above as your model. And
color-code your essay, with a color key, to prove it (copy and paste mine, if you
want. If you want to toss out the “If I were my interviewee” part of my assignment
and do it your own way, thatʼs fine. Just make it interesting however you choose
best.

Since I wrote this past the “7 oʼclock rule” -- now Iʼm having Wireless@sg login
problems when I go to Starbucks to try to upload these assignments in time -- you
can turn it in on Friday if you want. But youʼll have other hw for Wednesday too.

Thanks for your time.