Jon Ayre

PHIL-1100

Shannon Flynt

November 29, 2017

Internal Working Models

John Bowlbys Attachment Theory states that children have a biological drive to attach to

a primary caregiver as a means of survival. The attachment style of ones main caregiver effects

the way a person interacts and preserves others, the world and themselves, building their internal

working model that they base their expectations of the world and how they are to relate to it. The

research of Bowlbys and many others shows a strong correlation between the way an individual

is raised and how that individual frames, not only the world in childhood but the way one

perceives the world throughout life. A persons attachment style effects adult friendships,

romantic relationships and parenting their own children.

After the class covering Bowlbys original theorys (1944, 1956, 1969, 1988) I sought

more information and more recent research from Mary Ainsworth. I found this research helpful

for understanding my own childhood and indeed my adult attachment style. I talked to my

Mother about my infancy and early childhood. It was an interesting conversation about some

things that I found familiar from this research. confirming what I had expected based on my

approach to marriage and friendships. Understanding that Attachment theory was an

oversimplification of complex psychology, I refrain from pathologizing myself and others.

However, it is helpful to recognize and reevaluate when I engaged in ineffective behavior. More

so, its helped me be compassionate and excepting of my husband, family and others.
 I come from a large family (8 siblings, 40ish nieces and nephews) and am able to see a

wide verity of parenting styles and their children. Bowleys theory has helped me understand and

relate to my family and in-laws in a way I wasnt before. Not because I know their attachment

style or their internal working model but because Ive excepted that I cant.

This, now obvious, principal that children learn from their caregivers has made me more

aware of the dangers of modern parenting. With constant distractions and the ability to be

omnipresent in childrens lives, it will take restraint and engagement in the right balance to give

a child a secure base. I hope that Bowleys simple idea that as a caregiver one is literally building

a childs perception of self and the world. This should be commonly understood and taught. So

that possible parents have to understand and except the onus of mindfully raising children at the

loss of their personal endeavors or interest.

My husband and I have been looking into classes to begin the process of fostering. His

family has a foster brother and experienced some conflict, as is often the case, but after

successful adoption, hes an adored part of the family. I have always wanted to foster but have

feared failing children coming from ineffective homes or abusive families that might need extra

patience and understanding. I hope I can use what Ive learned about development and

attachment to be an effective compassionate father and husband when I have the opportunity.
 Citations

Johnson, S. C., Dweck, C. S., Chen, F. S., Stern, H. L., Ok, S.-J. and Barth, M. At the
Intersection of Social and Cognitive Development: Internal Working Models of Attachment in
Infancy. Cognitive Science. 2010.

Bowlby, J. (1944). Forty-four juvenile thieves: Their characters and home life. International
Journal of Psychoanalysis. 1944.

Bowlby, J. Mother-child separation. Mental Health and Infant Development. 1956

Bowlby, J. Attachment and loss: Vol. 1. Loss. 1969.

Bowlby, J. Attachment, communication, and the therapeutic process. A secure base: Parent-child
attachment and healthy human development. 1988.

Firestone, L. How Your Attachments Style Affects Your Parenting.

(https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/compassion-matters/201510/how-your-attachment-
style-affects-your-parenting). 2015.