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Diana Sosa

Professor Beadle

English 115

7 December 2017

Home Sweet Home?

Each morning, I wake up to a constant routine consisting of two important things. The

first is my mother and aunt preparing breakfast; the second is the absence of my father and uncle

as they have already left to work. What follows is usually someone reminding me to get to my

chores, which I have gotten accustomed to. This idea of machismo has a large influence on the

way the gender roles for the men and women in my house are reinforced. My uncle lives by the

belief that men are expected to be dominant/independent and females are submissive and

dependent. Machismo in a household becomes monstrous because it can lead to very serious

issues in the long run for both genders.

The space in which we grow up in affects the way we perceive ourselves and act towards

others. In the essay Change, Jennifer Dionicio claims that being brought up with strict gender

roles limits our capacity to understand anything beyond what we grew up in, (15) and I

personally see this daily through my brothers actions. For instance, the way my father and uncle

act towards their sons not only demonstrates how they want them to grow up, but it also gives

my brother and cousin this idea that what theyre being taught is right. Far too many times,

Ive heard the same response from my brother: how come Diana cant do it, that's her job! to

anything my mom would tell him to do, even if it was just to take out the trash. My uncle,

especially, is very objective to change and just the thought of changing what he truly believes to

be right seems almost impossible considering the way he is at home. Since my family and I are
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living in his home, I do my best to respect him and his beliefs. On the weekends my uncle allows

for my brother and male cousin (who are both younger than me) to go to work, so they can learn

what the job of a man consists of. Through the years, I feel as though Ive slowly witnessed

my mom and aunt give up trying to fight the control their husbands have on them. I believe that

they have made themselves comfortable with the monstrous presence of machismo in our home,

even if they dont see it themselves.

The traditional values my parents, uncle, and aunt were raised with are held to a high

standard in my home. They value the concept of men doing all the work, paying for the bills, and

providing for the family; basically, having power over women. As well as, women being the

ones who stay home with the kids, raise them and do all the cooking/cleaning. Ever since I was

at an age where I was able to understand things, I always wondered why my mom didnt try to

go against my father, or why my aunt never thought about not following through with what my

uncle wanted as a way of fighting the system that he has implemented in our home. It has

become concerning to my sister, female cousins and I, if change will ever be a possibility in our

household. Personally, I believe that this has gotten out of hand and almost impossible to

overcome, because in the American culture I have gained through my life outside of my home, I

don't see this idea being played out. I've met many friends through school and most of them have

shared with me that in their household it's very 50/50 between their parents. They explained to

me how both parents share the responsibilities and the work, there isnt a feeling of one gender

being superior to the other. Knowing this made me fear that I would never get to experience this

in my own home.

Female Monsters: A Threat to Male Dominance and Control by Brittney Jones allowed

me to believe that there is still hope for the way things are in my home to change for the better.
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Jones elaborates on the idea that the more women accomplish, the more men feel threatened and

intimidated (52) by focusing on female monsters in movies and TV shows. She mentioned

several movies that I was able to relate to because I grew up watching them. In this essay, Jones

also mentions how, Men ran the household with total control and expected meals on the table

upon returning home from work, (54) which sums up the way things run in my house well.

Considering the fact that we live in a male dominated society, change in my family isnt

something I see happening because my family members have become so accustomed to this, it

the only thing that makes sense to them. My uncle and father are the ones who provide for us, so

when a huge decision is being considered they are the ones that have the final say. This continues

to prove that machismo in a household is monstrous because they dont always know what the

right decision is.

Having this mindset be the one to follow in a home can result in many serious effects in

the long run. For example, my youngest cousins are 10 years old and they constantly complain

about why they must be the ones to do their older brothers bed every day. It may not seem like it

now, since they are still young, but this idea can result in self-esteem issues later on in their lives.

My sister recently opened up to me about how she feels like she wont succeed in what she wants

to pursue. Shes currently lost and doesnt know the kind of career she wants to follow because

she doesnt feel like shes good enough. Its things like this that make machismo monstrous in

homes, a place where people should feel safe. Women, and young girls get enough self-doubt

through social media, they dont need to be feeling this way in their own homes. The way things

are at home isnt in favor of how she is feeling, so did my best to reassure her that this idea isnt

praised in American culture as much as it is in Mexican culture. The way my mom and my uncle

were raised, back in Mexico, was very different form the way things are here. Over there,
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machismo is something that is socially acceptable so much that people live by it. It makes things

easier for people because everyone believes in it and its not seen as wrong. Today there are

many households that live by this idea and implement it in their homes. In some cases, this is

what works for people, because both parties are in favor of this lifestyle. In reality, though, it

doesnt have to be like this because people can live happy lives where there is equality between

the genders. The idea of misogyny comes to life when machismo is present, which is something

that is rarely works in todays modern society.

In the book Monsters, the article My Zombie, Myself: Why Modern Life Feels Rather

Undead, the author, Chuck Klosterman, focuses around the idea that zombies are metaphor for

our modern task-filled world, in which the problems we face seem to multiply faster than we

can solve them. (40) In this article the author provides an example of a computer programmed

to execute [only] one function (42) which made me think that it was a perfect definition what

machismo is. Men, who believe in the system of machismo, are programmed to truly believe that

they are superior to a woman and that she will never live up to their standards. Having this be the

only thing they believe in, it makes it easier for it this idea takeover who they really are, as

individuals. For example, they will limit themselves to this way of thinking. My uncle, who still

lives by this view of life, isnt in favor of anything changing. Hes not able to have new

commands be installed (42) because his mind has already been set.

Another article from the book Monsters was the one titled Monsters and Messiahs by

Mike Davis, which revolves around the legend of the Chupacabra. Davis states that The wild is

predator (46) and in the book, that is seen through the actions that this creature partakes in. I

feel like this connects to my situation because in my household my uncles belief in machismo

can be seen as wild and predator like. For example, every day when he gets home from work,
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he expects dinner on the table. The Mexican left, on the other hand, declared that the

Chupacabra was actually Carlos Salinas de Gotari, the runaway ex-president (48) To me, my

uncle would be considered the Chupacabra, as he sucks the blood from my household, taking

away the dreams of the women living there, hoping one day to make something of ourselves. Just

because my uncle is the one who acts upon this belief it doesnt make my father innocent in this

situation. Although he doesnt act the way my uncle does, he does nothing to change the way

things are set up. He still expects the same things my uncle does from his wife, but with my

mom; lunch for work, clean clothes, and dinner when hes home. He may not say things directly,

but he is still in favor of this system. Staying silent makes him just as bad as my uncle.

Machismo shouldnt be praised in households because the people in the homes can get

effected by the outcomes it brings. A home may not speak for itself, but the people living in it

sure do. Their actions are what represents the household, and I believe in my household things

are subject to change. Especially because a home can still prosper even without the idea that one

gender is superior to the other.

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Works Cited

Davis, Mike. Monsters and Messiahs Monsters A Bedford Spotlight Reader, Bedford/St.

Martins, 2016, pp. 4649.

Dionicio, Jennifer, et al. Change. Wings Distinguished Student Essays, 24th ed., California

State University, Northridge, 2017, pp. 1517.

Jones, Brittney, et al. Female Monsters: A Threat to Male Dominance and Control. Wings

Distinguished Student Essays, 24th ed., California State University, Northridge, 2017, pp.

5255.

Klosterman, Chuck. My Zombie, Myself: Why Modern Life Feels Rather Undead. Monsters A

Bedford Spotlight Reader, Bedford/St. Martins, 2016, pp. 4044.