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The Cultural Struggles and Eases of CODAs

Music and sound are key elements in a persons life. Things are heard every day and people

interpret those sounds to create an understanding of what is around them. Every person

experiences this except those who are deaf. Those that are deaf have very little or not functional

hearing, which is not be confused with someone who is hard of hearing, which is someone with

mild to moderate hearing loss (Deaf and Hard-of Hearing: Some Definitions). The percentage

of people worldwide with some type of hearing loss is over 5% (Deafness and Hearing Loss).

Many of these people who are deaf have children, 90% of which are hearing (Brother). These

hearing children, known as CODAs or children of deaf adults, often struggle with feeling like

they completely belong to a specific culture because they grew up surrounded by both Deaf and

hearing cultures, not truly belonging to either. This is how Paul DeGraw, a CODA with two

parents who were deaf, feels at times.

1, 2. Paul and his three siblings were raised by their deaf parents. Growing up with deaf

parents, the DeGraw children learned in different ways. Their first language is American Sign

Language, also know as ASL, and their parents obviously could not teach them English. Paul

recalls learning English from his siblings and other relatives, but mainly through watching

television. He often says, in a joking but also serious manner, that Sesame Street taught him

English. It was fairly easy for him to learn because he was surrounded by the English language.

Communication in the home was unique as well. Because calling out to their parents to get their

attention was not possible, Paul and his siblings either have to run to where their parents were

and wave to get their attention or they would flicker the lights. Their home had many duel

switches for this purpose. Lights also flickered in different patterns when the doorbell was rung

or when the phone rang. Other ways they would get their parents attention was through tapping
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on the shoulder, stomping on the hard floor (to have them feel the vibration), or to wave at them.

Rules Paul grew up with not to run through the kitchen and to be quiet. For the longest time Paul

did not understand this rule, until he understood the vibrations of him running or yelling would

bother his mom. She would get headaches or she would be startled by the sudden vibrations.

They also had the rule where hearing friends needed to go home when deaf family came over out

of respect to the family members and the language. The main reason for this rule though was to

build family relationship. One standard cultural rule is if you know how to sign you always sign

if a deaf person walks into the room. This is because if you do not, it can seem you are ignoring

that person or you are keeping secrets from them.

Paul learned many hearing cultural norms through school and friends. The deaf always

inform those around them where they are going and what they are going to do. This is so

everyone is aware of where that person is because their means of communication is all by sight,

and if you cannot see the person you are wanting to interact with, you have no way of knowing

where they are. This was a standard Paul was accustomed to, so when he was with hearing

friends of classmates he would tell them where he was going and what he was doing. Paul would

tell them he was going to go to his backpack and put his book in it and be right back or he would

tell them he was going to the bathroom. His friends would react like what he said was odd and

unnecessary. It was through experiences like this that Paul began to understand communication

differences between Deaf and hearing cultures. Paul struggled communicating with adults when

speaking because he was used to communicating through signing. This was a problem in school

and at a parent teacher conferences his teacher brought up this issue. Pauls sister Doreen was

interpreting for their mom. When the teacher expressed her concerns and worries of Paul having

a speech issue and was slow in his learning because he wouldnt talk to the teacher and other
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issues in class, Paul interrupted and told Doreen he wasnt slow and began defending himself.

His teacher then realized Paul was a very intelligent student but he was uncomfortable with

speaking to adults and much rather would sign with adults.

Pauls family would run into people every day did not understand the Deaf culture and judge

their family, specifically their parents. People assume, because they cannot communicate with

the deaf, the deaf are unintelligent, where in reality the deaf are very intelligent and throughout

time have always found ways to communicate. The older Paul has gotten the more he has

become aware of this judgement and he struggles at times not be mad or angry. This judgment

would often happen in places their family would go to like restaurants. Places they frequented

the people there liked Pauls parents. A main reason for this is Pauls parents understood the

hearing culture so they could easily get along with those around them. Paul enjoyed going to

these places because he could see his parents were well liked. This is how Paul grew up as a

CODA and continues to experience life as a CODA.

3. Growing up as a CODA is very different than growing up in any other culture. In all

cultures there is some element of hearing. In the Deaf culture, there is not. So growing up as a

CODA can be difficult and social issues arise because of this. One issue is communication. Paul

shared an example of difficulty through communication. At the beginning of first grade his

teacher asked each student to bring Kleenex to school by the end of the week. Not having a

specific sign for Kleenex and not understanding the teacher meant a box of tissues, Paul

explained to his mom what he needed, signing blowing his nose. What his mom understood was

toilet paper. She was floored to think Pauls teacher wanted a roll of toilet paper but, trusting

what her son told her, she sent Paul to school with toilet paper. At school the teacher saw the

toilet paper and thought it was a joke. She was became angry and expressed her frustration to the
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class, asking who brought the toilet paper. Paul never confessed. This is just one example of the

problems that arise with communication and translation. CODAs will often be translators for

the parents, as seen in Pauls story of parent teacher conferences, but this can cause

miscommunication especially when children are asked to interpret adult conversations and

subjects the children may not understand (Tylerbeardshow, What is CODA Culture).

To avoid the problem of misunderstanding, the deaf are very blunt and straight forward. Paul

again grew up with this custom, and often would be seen as rude or offensive because of how

blunt he was. In many other cultures, especially with children enveloped in two separate cultures,

the children get the benefit of the doubt according to their behaviors. For example, a child who is

Hispanic gets that benefit of the doubt because it is visible they are Hispanic and involved in two

separate cultures. That is unseen in CODAs. Just by watching a CODA it is unable to recognize

he or she is also apart of the Deaf culture, thus the benefit of the doubt is lacking.

One of the things Paul struggles with the most, like many CODAs, is feeling he belongs

completely to either culture. CODAs are stuck between two cultures: they are hearing, but grew

up Deaf (McCarthy). Paul feels his heart belongs to the Deaf culture, yet at times does not feel

accepted by them. On one occasion when he was younger, he and his deaf cousin went to the

deaf community center to play basketball. As they were there, Paul could tell the other kids there

were bothered by him being there. Later, as Paul and his cousin were leaving, one of the kids

threw a basketball at Paul. Paul, hearing the ball bounce, turned and caught it, then threw it back.

When the kid got the ball back he turned to his friends and signed unkindly, See? I told you he

was hearing. Some of the deaf feel hearing people have it easy and resent them because of it.

Another experience Paul had happened a few years after high school. He was going out with a

deaf friend of his and his friends deaf friends. When the friends saw Paul and saw that he was
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hearing, they were mad because he was competition with getting to know girls. They saw that

Paul would have the advantage because he could hear. The friends wanted to be by themselves

because, in their eyes, the playing grounds were equal. With some groups Paul feel welcome,

and others not as much. These are just some of the social issues that arise for CODAs in both the

hearing cultures and Deaf cultures.

4a. Even though CODAs grow up in the Deaf culture, music is still apart of their lives.

CODAs love to turn their music up loud and never have the problem of getting in trouble

because their parents cant hear the music. The only exception would be loud bass, which the

deaf can feel the vibrations (Tylerbeardshow, Deaf and CODA Popular Culture). The song I

chose that best represents CODAs and the social issues they struggle with is Waving Through a

Window from the musical Dear Evan Hansen. This songs message is sung by the main character

Evan Hansen, who feels he is an outcast and will always be an outcast (Dear Evan Hansen). This

song relates to CODAs because of the particular feeling they have of not completely belonging

to the hearing community or the Deaf community. The chorus of the song really proves the point

of the social issue when this line is sung: On the outside always looking in I try to speak, but

nobody can hear (Pasek). The song had three different melodies, all of which the movement is

steps. The range is medium to large and the contour is descending. The phrasing is medium to

long as well. The rhythm is quadruple meter with simple timing and syncopation. The harmony

is major with a consonance sound. The texture of the song starts out transparent and grows to

full. It is also in homophony style. For timbre, there is vocals, piano, guitar, drums, strings, and

other percussion instruments. The tempo is moderate to fast, the sound is very pop and upbeat,

and the dynamics are mezzo forte to forte with a small part in the middle at mezzo piano. The

genre is musicals with a contemporary style period. The form is verse and chorus.
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4b. Even though the deaf cant hear, they still enjoy listening to music and even singing. A

perfect example is Many Harvey, a recent finalist on Americas Got Talent. She is deaf, yet she

would sing and perform her own music. She doesnt wear shoes when she performs so she can

feel the vibrations (Nick). Paul shared seeing his mom enjoy music by feeling the side of the

record player or holding a Styrofoam container in front of a speaker. There are even interpreters

that interpret music and concerts. They do so in such a way that the deaf can experience the

music in a similar way as the hearing (Gallego). As mentioned before, CODAs enjoy all types of

music and like to listen to it loud.

In conclusion, children of deaf adults have a lot of adjusting to deal with whether it is

communication, acclimating to different cultures, or understand others correctly. There are times

when it is difficult to feel like they fit in, yet they find unity with fellow CODAs. That unity is

what helps CODAs find themselves and truly know who they are.
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5. Bibliography

Brother, Millie, and Ray Williams. "Messages From Our Founder & President." Children Of Deaf

Adults, Inc. N.p., n.d. Web.

"Deaf and Hard-of-Hearing: Some Definitions." DeafTEC. N.p., n.d. Web.

"Deafness and Hearing Loss." World Health Organization. World Health Organization, n.d. Web.

Dear Evan Hansen." Wikipedia. Wikimedia Foundation, 24 Oct. 2017. Web.

Gallego, Amber Galloway. "About Us: History and Mission." Amber G Productions. N.p., n.d. Web.

McCarthy, James, and Tom Harrington. "Hearing Children of Deaf Parents (CODA)." Children &

Parents Research Guide. N.p., July 2012. Web.

Nick, Stacy. "Feeling The Music With Deaf 'America's Got Talent' Finalist Mandy Harvey." NPR. NPR,

19 Sept. 2017. Web.

Pasek, Benj, and Justin Paul. "Waving Through a Window Lyrics." Musical Lyrics, Songs From

Musicals, Lyrics Broadway Musicals. N.p., n.d. Web.

Tylerbeardshow. "Deaf and CODA Popular Culture." CODA: Children of Deaf Adults. N.p., 24 Feb.

2015. Web.

Tylerbeardshow. "What Is CODA Culture and How Does It Relate to Deaf Culture?" CODA: Children

of Deaf Adults. N.p., 21 Jan. 2016. Web