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Kimberly Ortiz
Professor Batty
English 028
7 November 2017
Many parents have beliefs that prevent their daughters from expressing their sexuality.
These beliefs are based on strict parenting, religion, gender and culture. Strict parents tend to
think that by allowing their daughters to express themselves in such a way will lead them to do
worse things in life. They also find it humiliating, especially when done in front of them and
believe their daughters might change from a good personality to a bad one. Parents have certain
religions where they believe expressing ones sexuality is wrong, and goes against everything
they believe in. At times, daughters may be disowned or forced to cleanse themselves from
their sins. Parents with certain gender role and cultural beliefs dont allow women to have
much freedom in terms of their expressions and they arent viewed as the sexual ones. In
addition, women must act a certain way in some countries, whereas men may act however they
please. This is all wrong, I believe women should have the right to express their sexuality no
matter what cultural beliefs stand in their way because women are entitled to believe in what
In the novel, How the Garcia Girls Lost their Accents, the author, Julia Alvarez writes
about the sexuality expressed by the Garcia girls after they migrated from the Dominican
Republic to the U.S. Throughout the novel, their father, Carlos, continuously calls them whores
because he believes they are not behaving as Dominican women would. Carlos seems to be a
strict father with many cultural beliefs. In the beginning of the novel, he finds love letters that
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belonged to his youngest daughter Sofia. When he found them he went to argue with her and
yelled, Has he deflowered you? Thats what I want to knowAre you dragging my good name
through the dirt (Alvarez 30). He argues that his daughters sexual interactions with men are of
low status and therefore ruining his reputation. In another occasion, he once again was put to
shame by Sofia when he was kissed sexually at his birthday party. The narrator stated, He tore
at his blindfold as if it were a contagious body whose disease he might catchHis face had
darkened with shame at having his pleasure aroused in public by one of his daughters (Alvarez
39). He thought of this act as humiliating and was once again furious at his youngest for pulling
such an act that he described before as a destruction of his image. Sofia is the most experienced
in relationships. She was described by the narrator as very plain, but she was still the one with
the experience and advice about relationships (Alvarez 28). Sofia is also the one that expresses
her female sexuality the most, usually to make her father angry after she met her husband and ran
off with him. The narrator says, The youngest daughter was the first to leave homeThe
woman had not been without a boyfriend for more than a few days of her life (Alvarez 29).
Sofia always had a boyfriend and has always been expressing her sexuality, but her expression is
what helped her find her husband and helped her make her own personality and life. She is the
character that truly represents freedom of sexuality. Her actions also show the reason why such
Although Sofia is the main representation of such rebellious actions in the eyes of
parents, her sisters express their sexuality as well. Sofias sister, Yolanda, is known to be the
calmest, but she too expresses her sexuality. For example, when her and Sofia were promised
clay by their cousin Mundin to have them take off their pants and panties and promised a human
body doll to keep them shut (Alvarez 235). They were very young when they did this, but every
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sexual act always leads a person to become who they are in the future and for Yolanda, shes the
calm one. Such expression is usually seen as an act that would have a person grow into a
trouble maker, but not in this case. Another example is when Yolanda says, Id had a couple of
lovers. I was on birth controlCatholic or not, I still thought it a sin for a guy to barge in five
years later with a bottle of expensive wine and assume youd drink out of his hand (Alvarez
102-103). Yolanda was dating a lot of guys but knew her limits. Many women can express their
sexuality reasonably and not chaotically to fulfill the expectations of those with beliefs that
Although many may think female sexuality is shown in extreme expressions, women
shouldnt be prevented of doing so because they need to find their self-identity. My friends
family is Christian, and they wouldnt let my friend dress with clothes that expose even
appropriate body parts. I agree that they are just trying to protect her especially now that people
accuse victims of their own rape because they were showing a bit too much, but sometimes girls
just want to wear what is trending the most at the time. In my psychology class I learned that
missing out on a few popular trends and sharing them with other peers may take effect negatively
in ones life. She was not allowed to date or flirt, and was not allowed to go socialize at any
events or parties. I know her parents were just trying to keep her away from dangerous situations
and keeping her from committing a sin, but this prevention may worsen a daughter and parent
relationship and communication. My family base their beliefs on Guatemalan culture and have
certain gender role expectations. They have certain rules for me when it comes to boys and
relationships. They believe a man should always pay for a date and has the responsibility of
picking me up from my house and bringing me back him himself after and before a date. I get it,
it is polite for the men to be gentle men especially when going out and this thought is a norm to
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them as it was what men did and still do in Guatemala. Also, a woman to them, is not allowed to
do certain things in a relationship before married, if a woman acts before it is considered a sin.
But, how is any woman supposed to know who they truly are if their families prevent them from
finding out? Women would love to pursue our own beliefs and want our families to stop thinking
about certain gender roles. We women, want to be able to find our true and own perspectives of
Sexuality is a big part in finding ones identity and that sexual behavior is linked to
parenting. In the article, Communication, Sexuality, Defamiliarization, the author describes the
reasons that communication is involved with the prevention of finding ones self-identity.
According to this article, sexuality helps with the learning of future life and preventing
expression of sexuality, also prevents the learning of that person. The article states, The work
that draws me returns again and again to the question of sexual practice in context (including the
practice of the definition) (Henderson 2479). Henderson believes that many dont truly
understand the definition of sexuality, and when one finally defines it correctly, one can
understand the importance of the practice. Throughout the article, Henderson repeats the idea of
article, The Structural Influences of Family and Parenting on Young Peoples Sexual and
Reproductive Health in Rural Northern Tanzania, the authors conclude research done on a
family, and give detail, and reasons on why people should express their sexuality and what the
expression helps with. They found that sexuality expression helps with ones self-confidence and
that ones sexual drive changes with parenting. They say, For example, in Uganda, young
people reported that they were sexually active when their parents were away or when they were
staying with other relatives (Twa-Twa 1997) (Wamoyi, Wight, Remes 720). According to their
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research, sexual drives change with the presence of authority, because they are afraid of getting
caught of such expressions and judged by that authoritys and their beliefs. They also found that,
Both parents and young people talked about fathers as having a strong economic interest in their
daughters sexual relationships since they would eventually receive bridewealth or fines for
elopement or pregnancy (Wamoyi, Wight, Remes 729). This represents gender roles where men
gain from the womens sexual practice. This role may encourage a father to decide for his
daughter who she should marry when really, women should decide everything for themselves,
especially when choosing the person they will spend the rest of their lives with.
At the end, many people may still believe some female sexuality expressions are
intolerable or too extreme, but I believe women shouldnt be prevented from expressing
themselves. Women should be entitled to declare their own cultural beliefs, and follow them as
they wish to. Expression of female sexuality is important because it opens ones eyes of what
they like and who they truly are. Women should be able to find themselves and view the world
as they please and freedom of expression allows this to be possible for women. Overall, women
should be free to choose anything and express themselves as they wish. To be themselves,
Works Cited
library.lavc.edu/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=edsgao&AN=
edsgcl.352494269&site=eds-live.
Wamoyi, Joyce, et al. "The Structural Influence of Family and Parenting on Young People's
Sexual
and Reproductive Health in Rural Northern Tanzania." Culture, Health & Sexuality, vol. 17, no.
Alvarez, Julia. How the Garca Girls Lost Their Accents. Chapel Hill, N.C. : Algonquin Books