Downing 1

Holden Downing

Miss. Cook

Composition- 01

30 October 2017

Should the Legal Drinking Age be Lowered?

The topic of lowering the legal drinking age has been for debate for many years. This Commented [1]: Hook needed

issue over the past decade has become more prevalent for debate. In the United States the legal

age to consume alcohol is 21 years old. 18 is the age when an individual legally becomes an

adult and assumes the rights and responsibilities of an adult. Therefore, the legal drinking age

should be 18 or lower. Even though all high school students are not old enough to consume

alcohol many find a way to. When you're told you cant do something it makes you want to do it

even more. Making alcohol more accessible makes it less of a big deal. Less restriction and less

of a thrill. It teaches them to drink responsibly and socially. The main issues going to be argued

is drunk driving, binge drinking/alcohol poisoning, and alcohol associated violent behavior.

Arguing that the legal drinking age should be lowered to 18, and the reasons why will be stated

throughout being supported with research and statistics. Commented [2]: awk

Even though the drinking age has been raised for many many years there has not been a

reciprocal drop in the abuse of alcohol among young people. If you were to look at the manner

its being used itd show in fact its being abused more now than ever. This will lead to more

long term alcohol problems coming down the road. In countries in Europe where the drinking

age is 18 there seems to be less immature behaviors around the use of alcohol. Things like

hidden parties without adult supervision can lead to things like alcohol poisoning and even death.

It stands to reason that if there were more mature decision makers involved in the consumption
 Downing 2

of alcohol there would be fewer deaths resulting from drunk driving and other immature

decisions. Recent research published by the World Health Organization found that in many

European countries where the drinking age is 18 or younger (and often not enforced), 15 and 16

year-old teens have more drinking occasions per month, but fewer occasions of dangerous

intoxication than their American counterparts. In many southern European countries roughly one

in ten of all drinking occasions results in intoxication, while in the United States almost half of

all drinking occasions result in intoxication. In these countries the introduction of alcohol

typically comes from parents. In the United States, where the drinking age is 21, parents are not

legally afforded that opportunity, and as a result initiation to alcohol consumption is not

responsibly controlled(CR 1). In European countries the parents are able to teach their young Commented [3]: In MLA, you do not put a comma
between items in the in-text citation.
adolescents how to drink responsibly, as in America many adolescents seem to go without adult

supervision while consuming alcohol which leads to risky and unsafe behavior. If the parents had

the opportunity to teach their children how to drink responsibly and socially the many problems

we have today would decrease if the drinking age was lowered. Lowering the drinking age

wouldnt just benefit those under 21. It would benefit the government and state because there

would hopefully be a decrease in accidents.

Drunk driving is driving under the influence. When your blood alcohol content is 0.08%

or higher, youre considered legally impaired. Although, you can still be charged with a DUI if

your BAC is above 0.00%. According to Matt Nagin, It seems quite plausible that were alcohol

to be legalized for those under the age of 18, the 15.1% of 18 to 20 year olds who drink before

getting behind the wheel would rise significantly (Nagin, 1). Anyone who is consuming alcohol

is at risk to get behind a wheel no matter the age, right? In 2013, 28.7 million people admitted

to driving under the influence of alcohol thats more than the population of Texas (Madd, 1).
 Downing 3

The legal drinking age has no perceptible influence on fatalities. The age of adulthood is 18 in

the United States and adults should have the right to make their own decisions about alcohol Commented [4]: C

consumption (procon.org 1). In 2009, the 21- to 24-year-old age group had the highest

percentage of drivers in fatal crashes with blood-alcohol concentration (BAC) levels of .08 or

higher 35 percent (Procon) This shows that lowering the drinking age is not going to cause

anymore accidents relating to drunk driving, because even those of the age to legally drink still

make the decision to get behind the wheel not only putting themselves in danger but others. 18

year olds have the rights to vote, get married, and serve in the military, and those even younger

than 18 can drive and become parents. So what is the problem with legalizing and lowering the

drinking age to 18?

Binge drinking is the consumption of an excessive amount of alcohol in a short period of

time. A risk of alcohol poisoning can become an issue while binge drinking. Statistics show

that about 44% of teenagers attending 4-year colleges are involved in binge drinking and about

30,000 college students require medical treatment each year to deal with alcohol poisoning

(health advisor). Although they arent scared to seek treatment for the issue even though theyre

under age. If they had to legal right to purchase and consume alcohol they wouldnt feel the need

to drink so much in such a short amount of time because if it were legal they could purchase

whenever they wanted. In college environment, alcohol is readily available, and for those

students that are underage, they are more likely to overdo it when they get their hands on alcohol

because they cant legitimately obtain it themselves. Anyone can drink irresponsibility and

everyone has consequences for their actions eventually. These problems, no matter how serious,

will continue to be prevalent regardless of the drinking age. Students will follow the trends of

society in terms of behaviors such as alcohol consumption and violence related to drinking.
 Downing 4

Alcohol producers play off this psychological factor and skew their marketing toward younger

people wont even be able to legally purchase their product because once someone becomes a

user, they are a user for a lifetime. Beer companies are looking to hook a client for life and turn

them into long term consumers. If the drinking age was 18 they wouldnt binge drink causing

them to become a user for these beer companies. The law is setting adolescents up to fail because

they arent shown the right manner of how to drink responsibly and go without adult supervision

while drinking.

Alcohol associated violent behavior excessive alcohol consumption may intensify their

aggressive behavior. When you consider that adolescence is a time of great impulsivity and

propensity to violence and/or destructive behavior, the dangers of legalizing alcohol among

minors become that much more palpable(Nagin, 1). Lowering MLDA 21 would reduce the

number of underage people who are hurt from alcohol-related injuries or accidents due to fear of

legal consequences if they sought medical attention(procon). If one is drinking under the age

and gets in a fight they have no consequences because theyre considered underage but having

the legal drinking age lowered one would face the consequences for their actions. Minimum

legal drinking age of 21 is not statistically associated with lower rates of suicide, homicide, or

vandalism. In a 2002 meta-study of the legal drinking age and health and social problems, 72%

of the studies found no statistically significant relationship despite claims that lowering the

MLDA to 18 would increase suicide and criminal activities by adolescents (Pro, 11).

Lowering the drinking age would allow more people to use alcohol legally, safely and

remove the attractive status that it has today. By removing the veil of desirability from the use of

alcohol the number of people who actually use it will be reduced and with it the number of long

term health problems will be removed as well. No one should be able to fight in war, vote, and
 Downing 5

own their own property without having the ability to drink or purchase alcohol legally.

Americans should be fighting for the 18 minimum drinking age and understanding the

constitutional rights. After the research done and the statistics found do you believe the legal

drinking age should be lowered to 18?

Works Cited
 Downing 6

Drinking Age ProCon.org. Should the Drinking Age Be Lowered from 21 to a Younger Commented [5]: Hanging indent needed

Age?, drinkingage.procon.org/.

Why Shouldn't the Drinking Age Be Lowered? New Health Advisor, 29 Apr. 2016,

Dean-Mooney, Laura. A Lower Age Would Be Unsafe. U.S. News & World Report,

U.S. News & World Report, 8 Sept. 2008,

www.usnews.com/opinion/articles/2008/09/08/a-lower-age-would-be-unsafe.

MNagin. Top 3 Reasons Why the Drinking Age Should Not Be Lowered to 18. Mic, Mic

Network Inc., 25 Oct. 2015, mic.com/articles/14574/top-3-reasons-why-the-drinking-age-should-

not-be-lowered-to-18#.SXJgSulrY

Responsibility, Choose. Choose Responsibility,

www.chooseresponsibility.org/debating_the_issues/.

Yonas, Hezekiel. Should the Legal Drinking Age Be Lowered to 18? The A-Blast, www.thea-

blast.org/top-stories/2016/03/16/should-the-legal-drinking-age-be-lowered-to-18/.

Thrillist. Is It Time To Lower The Drinking Age To 18? The Huffington Post,

TheHuffingtonPost.com, 7 Apr. 2016, www.huffingtonpost.com/thrillist/is-it-time-to-

lower-the-d_b_9633254.html.

Statistics. MADD, www.madd.org/statistics/.

Responsibility, Choose. Choose Responsibility,

www.chooseresponsibility.org/drinking_and_culture_c/.

Rubric rating submitted on: 11/13/2017, 9:31:53 PM by danielle.cook@redstreaks.org

4 3 2 1 0

W.1.a: Hook (Fully and (Demonstrated) (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Your score: 1 creatively Introduction demonstrate, but demonstrate, but made)
demonstrated) paragraph a couple errors multiple errors Introduction
Introduction captures the exist) exist) paragraph
paragraph reader's Introduction Introduction captures the
 Downing 7

captures the attention. paragraph paragraph reader's

reader's captures the captures the attention.
attention. reader's reader's
attention. attention.

W.1. a: (Fully and (Demonstrated) (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt) A

Summary creatively A brief demonstrate, but demonstrate, but brief summary
Your score: 4 demonstrated) A summary of any a couple errors multiple errors of any
brief summary background exist) A brief exist) A brief background
of any information is summary of any summary of any information is
background given to background background given to
information is anticipate the information is information is anticipate the
given to reader's given to given to reader's
anticipate the knowledge anticipate the anticipate the knowledge
reader's level--no more reader's reader's level--no more
knowledge than a couple knowledge knowledge than a couple
level--no more sentences. level--no more level--no more sentences
than a couple than a couple than a couple
sentences. sentences. sentences.

W.1.a: Purpose (Fully and (Demonstrated) (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt)

& Signifiance creatively The topic and demonstrate, but demonstrate, but The topic and
Your score: 4 demonstrated) purpose of the a couple of multiple errors purpose of the
The topic and essay is clearly errors exist) The exist) The topic essay is clearly
purpose of the identified. The topic and and purpose of identified. The
essay is clearly importance of purpose of the the essay is importance of
identified. The the topic is essay is clearly clearly the topic is
importance of emphasized. identified. The identified. The emphasized.
the topic is importance of importance of
emphasized. the topic is the topic is
emphasized. emphasized.

W.1.a: Thesis (Fully and (Demonstrated) (Attempted, but (Attempted, but (no attempt
Your score: 2 creatively The last a couple errors multiple errors made) The last
demonstrated) sentence is a exist) The last exist) The last sentence is a
The last thesis statement sentence is a sentence is a thesis statement
sentence is a that is clear, thesis statement thesis statement that is clear,
thesis statement argumentative, that is clear, that is clear, argumentative,
that is clear, sophisticated, argumentative, argumentative, sophisticated,
argumentative, and insightful. sophisticated, sophisticated, and insightful.
sophisticated, and insightful. and insightful.
and insightful.

W. 1. a: Topic (Fully and (Demonstrated) (Attempted, but (Attempted, but (No attempt
Sentences creatively Each body a couple errors multiple errors made) Each
Your score: 3 demonstrated) paragraph exist) Each body exist) Each body body paragraph
Each body begins with a paragraph paragraph begins with a
paragraph clear, begins with a begins with a clear,
 Downing 8

begins with a sophisticated, clear, clear, sophisticated,

clear, and insightful sophisticated, sophisticated, and insightful
sophisticated, topic sentence. and insightful and insightful topic sentence.
and insightful topic sentence. topic sentence.
topic sentence.

W. 1. b: (Fully and (Demonstrated) (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Organization & creatively Claims, demonstrate, but demonstrate, but made) Claims,
Sequencing demonstrated) counterclaims, a couple errors multiple errors counterclaims,
Your score: 4 Claims, reasons, and exist) Claims, exist) Claims, reasons, and
counterclaims, evidence are counterclaims, counterclaims, evidence are
reasons, and effectively reasons, and reasons, and effectively
evidence are structured and evidence are evidence are structured and
effectively organized in a effectively effectively organized in a
structured and logical structured and structured and logical
organized in a sequence. organized in a organized in a sequence.
logical logical logical
sequence. sequence. sequence.

W. 1. b: Genre (Fully and (Demonstrated) (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Your score: 4 creatively The essay demonstrate, but demonstrate, but made) The
demonstrated) contains all a couple errors multiple errors essay contains
The essay necessary exist) The essay exist) The essay all necessary
contains all componets for contains all contains all componets for
necessary the genre. necessary necessary the genre.
componets for componets for componets for
the genre. the genre. the genre.

W. 1. b: (Fully and (Demonstrated) (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Significance of creatively The significance demonstrate, but demonstrate, but made) The
Claims demonstrated) of the claims is a couple errors multiple errors significance of
Your score: 4 The significance clearly exist) The exist)The the claims is
of the claims is established for significance of significance of clearly
clearly the audience the claims is the claims is established for
established for throughout the clearly clearly the audience
the audience body. established for established for throughout the
throughout the the audience the audience body.
body. throughout the throughout the
body. body.

W. 1. c: (Fully and (Demonstrated) (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Transitions creatively Thoughtful demonstrate, but demonstrate, but made)Thoughtfu
Your score: 2 demonstrated) progression of a couple errors multiple errors l progression of
Thoughtful ideas and details exist) exist) ideas and details
progression of with sound Thoughtful Thoughtful with sound
ideas and details transitions to progression of progression of transitions to
with sound show connection ideas and details ideas and details show connection
 Downing 9

transitions to between points with sound with sound between points

show connection and paragraphs. transitions to transitions to and paragraphs.
between points show connection show connection
and paragraphs. between points between points
and paragraphs. and paragraphs.

W. 1. b: Focus (Fully and (Demonstrated) (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Your score: 4 creatively Maintains a demonstrate, but demonstrate, but made)Maintains
demonstrated) consistent focus a couple errors multiple errors a consistent
Maintains a throughout. exist) Maintains exist) Maintains focus
consistent focus Thesis is a consistent a consistent throughout.
throughout. effectively focus focus Thesis is
Thesis is woven throughout. throughout. effectively
effectively throughout Thesis is Thesis is woven
woven every body effectively effectively throughout
throughout paragraph, with woven woven every body
every body ideas always throughout throughout paragraph, with
paragraph, with related back to every body every body ideas always
ideas always thesis in order to paragraph, with paragraph, with related back to
related back to prove the central ideas always ideas always thesis in order to
thesis in order to claim. related back to related back to prove the central
prove the central thesis in order to thesis in order to claim.
claim. prove the central prove the central
claim. claim.

W. 1. b: (Fully and (Demonstrated) (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Examples & creatively Contains demonstrate, but demonstrate, but made) Contains
Details demonstrated) effective, a couple errors multiple errors effective,
Your score: 4 Contains specific, exist) Contains exist) Contains specific,
effective, relevant effective, effective, relevant
specific, examples and specific, specific, examples and
relevant details to back relevant relevant details to back
examples and up major claims examples and examples and up major claims
details to back in each body details to back details to back in each body
up major claims paragraph. up major claims up major claims paragraph.
in each body in each body in each body
paragraph. paragraph. paragraph.

W. 1. b: (Fully and (Demonstrated) (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Reflection of creatively Clear reflection demonstrate, but demonstrate, but made) Clear
Evidence demonstrated) on the evidence a couple errors multiple errors reflection on the
Your score: 4 Clear reflection is referenced exist) Clear exist) Clear evidence is
on the evidence from the text reflection on the reflection on the referenced from
is referenced and thoroughly evidence is evidence is the text and
 Downing 10

from the text and clearly referenced from referenced from thoroughly and
and thoroughly explained to the the text and the text and clearly
and clearly audience. thoroughly and thoroughly and explained to the
explained to the clearly clearly audience.
audience. explained to the explained to the
audience. audience.

W. 1. f: (Fully and (Demonstrated) (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Rephrase Thesis creatively Conclusion demonstrate, but demonstrate, but made)
Your score: 4 demonstrated) restates thesis a couple errors multiple errors Conclusion
Conclusion and supports the exist) exist) restates thesis
restates thesis claims in the Conclusion Conclusion and supports the
and supports the essay. restates thesis restates thesis claims in the
claims in the and supports the and supports the essay.
essay. claims in the claims in the
essay. essay.

W. 1. f: So (Fully and (Demonstrated) (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

What/Look to creatively Conclusion demonstrate, but demonstrate, but made)
the Future demonstrated) offers closure a couple errors multiple errors Conclusion
Your score: 4 Conclusion and leaves the exist) exist) offers closure
offers closure reader thinking Conclusion Conclusion and leaves the
and leaves the by answering offers closure offers closure reader thinking
reader thinking the So What? and leaves the and leaves the by answering
by answering question. The reader thinking reader thinking the So What?
the So What? significance the by answering by answering question. The
question. The major claim is the So What? the So What? significance the
significance the clear to the question. The question. The major claim is
major claim is reader. significance the significance the clear to the
clear to the major claim is major claim is reader.
reader. clear to the clear to the
reader. reader.

L. 2: Sentence (Fully and (Demonstrated) (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Complexity/Vari creatively Sentence variety demonstrate, but demonstrate, but made) Sentence
ety demonstrated) is effective and a couple errors multiple errors variety is
Your score: 4 Sentence variety sophisticated. exist) Sentence exist) Sentence effective and
is effective and variety is variety is sophisticated.
sophisticated. effective and effective and
sophisticated. sophisticated.

W. 1. e: Style & (Fully and (Demonstrated) (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Tone creatively A formal style demonstrate, but demonstrate, but made) A formal
Your score: 4 demonstrated) A and appropriate a couple errors multiple errors style and
formal style and tone is exist) A formal exist) A formal appropriate tone
 Downing 11

appropriate tone established and style and style and is established

is established maintained. appropriate tone appropriate tone and maintained.
and maintained. is established is established
and maintained. and maintained.

W. 1. d: Word (Fully and (Demonstrated) (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Choice creatively Word demonstrate, but demonstrate, but made) Word
Your score: 4 demonstrated) choice/vocabula a couple errors multiple errors choice/vocabula
Word ry is exist) Word exist) Word ry is
choice/vocabula sophisticated choice/vocabula choice/vocabula sophisticated
ry is and effective. ry is ry is and effective.
sophisticated sophisticated sophisticated
and effective. and effective. and effective.

W. 4: Clarity (Fully and (Demonstrated) (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Your score: 4 creatively Writing is clear, demonstrate, but demonstrate, but made) Writing is
demonstrated) concise, and a couple errors multiple errors clear, concise,
Writing is clear, strong.The essay exist) Writing is exist) Writing is and strong.
concise, and is a little shy of clear, concise, clear, concise, The essay
strong. The the minimum and strong. and strong. significantly
essay meets the length The essay fails The essay fails fails to meet the
minimum length requirement. to meet the to meet the minimum length
requirement. minimum length minimum length requirement.
requirement. requirement.

L. 2: (Fully and (Demonstrated) (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Capitalization & creatively Sentences demonstrate, but demonstrate, but made) Sentences
Usage demonstrated) demonstrate a couple errors multiple errors demonstrate
Your score: 4 Sentences correct exist) Sentences exist) Sentences correct
demonstrate capitalization. demonstrate demonstrate capitalization.
correct Correct and correct correct Correct and
capitalization. consistent verb capitalization. capitalization. consistent verb
Correct and tense is present; Correct and Correct and tense is present;
consistent verb words are used consistent verb consistent verb words are used
tense is present; correctly. tense is present; tense is present; correctly.
words are used words are used words are used
correctly. correctly. correctly.

L. 2: Spelling, (Fully and (Demonstrated) (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

RO/Frag, & creatively There are no demonstrate, but demonstrate, but made) There are
Punctuation demonstrated) spelling errors, a couple errors multiple errors no spelling
Your score: 4 There are no run-ons, and/or exist) There are exist) There are errors, run-ons,
spelling errors, fragments. no spelling no spelling and/or
run-ons, and/or errors, run-ons, errors, run-ons, fragments.
 Downing 12

fragments. and/or and/or

fragments. fragments.

W. 8: Relevant (Fully and (Demonstrated) (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Information creatively The information demonstrate, but demonstrate, but made) The
Your score: 4 demonstrated) from research a couple errors multiple errors information
The information used in each exist) The exist) The from research
from research body paragraph information information used in each
used in each are relevant and from research from research body paragraph
body paragraph effectively used in each used in each are relevant and
are relevant and support the body paragraph body paragraph effectively
effectively thesis and the are relevant and are relevant and support the
support the claims. effectively effectively thesis and the
thesis and the support the support the claims.
claims. thesis and the thesis and the
claims. claims.

W. 8: (Fully and (Demonstrated) (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Integrating creatively Information demonstrate, but demonstrate, but made)
Information demonstrated) from research is a couple errors multiple errors Information
Your score: 4 Information integrated into exist) exist) from research is
from research is the essay Information Information integrated into
integrated into selectively to from research is from research is the essay
the essay maintain the integrated into integrated into selectively to
selectively to flow of ideas, the essay the essay maintain the
maintain the avoiding selectively to selectively to flow of ideas,
flow of ideas, plagiarism, and maintain the maintain the avoiding
avoiding overreliance on flow of ideas, flow of ideas, plagiarism, and
plagiarism, and the research. avoiding avoiding overreliance on
overreliance on plagiarism, and plagiarism, and the research.
the research. overreliance on overreliance on
the research. the research.

W. 8: Accuracy (Fully and (Demonstrated) (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Your score: 4 creatively All supportive demonstrate, but demonstrate, but made) All
demonstrated) facts and a couple errors multiple errors supportive facts
All supportive sources are exist) All exist) All and sources are
facts and reported supportive facts supportive facts reported
sources are accurately. and sources are and sources are accurately.
reported reported reported
accurately. accurately. accurately.

W. 8: Citations (Fully and (Demonstrated) (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

 Downing 13

Your score: 2 creatively Each demonstrate, but demonstrate, but made) Each
demonstrated) quote/paraphras a couple errors multiple errors quote/paraphras
Each e is exist) Each exist) Each e is
quote/paraphras appropriately quote/paraphras quote/paraphras appropriately
e is cited using in- e is e is cited using in-
appropriately text citations. appropriately appropriately text citations.
cited using in- cited using in- cited using in-
text citations. text citations. text citations.

L. 3: MLA (Fully and (Demonstrated) (Attempted to (Attempted to (No attempt

Format creatively Paper is demonstrate, but demonstrate, but made) Paper is
Your score: 2 demonstrated) formatted a couple errors multiple errors formatted
Paper is according to exist) Paper is exist) Paper is according to
formatted MLA formatted formatted MLA
according to guidelines, according to according to guidelines,
MLA including: MLA MLA including:
guidelines, heading with guidelines, guidelines, heading with
including: name, teacher, including: including: name, teacher,
heading with class & period, heading with heading with class & period,
name, teacher, and date, name, teacher, name, teacher, and date,
class & period, centered title, class & period, class & period, centered title,
and date, and correctly and date, and date, and correctly
centered title, formatted centered title, centered title, formatted
and correctly paragraphs. and correctly and correctly paragraphs.
formatted formatted formatted
paragraphs. paragraphs. paragraphs.

Comments:
Total: 88/10 - 30% late = 62/100

Overall you've constructed a very good argument. The essay should begin with an engaging hook
and a clear arguable thesis statement that ends the introduction. Also, more transitions should be
used to link the major paragraphs throughout. The citations should be properly formatted. You
did a good job presenting a solid argument that is supported well with evidence.