The Lost Girl

Once upon a time in a magical winter wonderland there was a girl named Amirah. She

was lost and she had never met her parents in her entire life. She was raised by 2 fairies named

Violet Flower and Lily. They taught her everything she knew especially to always look her very

best because you never know when you may run into your true love. So every morning she

would wake up do her makeup, and pick out her most elegant dress that her fairy mothers had

made her her, as she does her makeup she always sings to herself.

Amirah, Amirah

On the wall

You're the prettiest

Of them all.

As she looked in the mirror on the wall all she could think of is what parent she resembles most

of all. So as her mind continues to wonder she decided to ask Violet and Lily on her 18th

birthday who they thought she resembled the most. She was told that the only parents she had

ever known wasnt her biological parents. Devastated by the news she packed her bags and set

out on an adventure to find her birth parents. As she trailed through the snowy woods she ran

into a mysterious man on a horse. They then exchanged names, Knight Alexander asked her

where she was headed at such a late hour. He offered his help in finding her parents and off they

went. Little did she know this journey through the woods to find her parents she would soon

realize he was her true love. 4o days of trailing through the woods on Black beauty they came

across a palace. They stopped in their tracks as guards quickly approached them. They were

asked what their business was to have come to the north mountain. She began to explain that she

was on a journey to find her real parents there eyes widened as they thought she may be the lost
Princess. They ran with excitement to the queen and king to tell them the news. As soon as they

sawseen her they knew she was the missing piece to their family. Her parents Bella and Edward

threw her the biggest welcome home ball for everyone to meet her. Amirah was over joyed with

excitement to have finally filled the void. She spun around the room dancing with Knight

Alexander, thanking him repeatedly for helping her. He knew right then that she was the one he

had longed for. He asked her father for his permission to marry his daughter. He was granted his

permission and got down on one knee. Amirah couldn't believe her eyes but knew this was right.

She said yes! She couldn't wrap her mind around the fact she had found her parents and her true

loved. Her heart was whole and they lived happily ever after!

The End!

Rubric rating submitted on: 12/14/2017, 6:52:20 PM by danielle.cook@redstreaks.org

5 4 3 2 1 0

Introduction 5 = Fully and 4= 3= 2= 1= 0 = No

W.3.a creatively Demonstrated Attempted to Attempted to Attempted to attempt made
Your score: demonstrated Engages and demonstrate; demonstrate; demonstrate; Engages and
4.75 Engages and orient the a couple a few errors several errors orient the
orient the reader by errors exist exist exist reader by
reader by setting out a Engages and Engages and Engages and setting out a
setting out a problem orient the orient the orient the problem
problem (conflict), reader by reader by reader by (conflict),
(conflict), situation, or setting out a setting out a setting out a situation, or
situation, or observation problem problem problem observation
observation and (conflict), (conflict), (conflict), and
and determines its situation, or situation, or situation, or determines its
determines its significance. observation observation observation significance.
significance. Establishes and and and Establishes
Establishes one or determines its determines its determines its one or
one or multiple significance. significance. significance. multiple
multiple point(s) of Establishes Establishes Establishes point(s) of
point(s) of view and one or one or one or view and
view and introduces the multiple multiple multiple introduces the
introduces the narrator point(s) of point(s) of point(s) of narrator
narrator and/or view and view and view and and/or
and/or characters. introduces the introduces the introduces the characters.
 characters. narrator narrator narrator
and/or and/or and/or
characters. characters. characters.

Rising Action 5 = Fully and 4= 3= 2= 1= 0 = No

& Climax creatively Demonstrated Attempted to Attempted to Attempted to attempt made
W.3.b,c,d (1) demonstrated Uses dialogue demonstrate; demonstrate; demonstrate; Uses dialogue
Your score: Uses dialogue and a couple a few errors several errors and
4.75 and description errors exist exist exist description
description (characterizat Uses dialogue Uses dialogue Uses dialogue (characterizat
(characterizat ion) to and and and ion) to
ion) to develop description description description develop
develop experiences, (characterizat (characterizat (characterizat experiences,
experiences, events, and/or ion) to ion) to ion) to events, and/or
events, and/or characters. develop develop develop characters.
characters. Uses pacing, experiences, experiences, experiences, Uses pacing,
Uses pacing, reflection , events, and/or events, and/or events, and/or reflection ,
reflection , suspense and characters. characters. characters. suspense and
suspense and foreshadowin Uses pacing, Uses pacing, Uses pacing, foreshadowin
foreshadowin g to develop reflection , reflection , reflection , g to develop
g to develop experiences, suspense and suspense and suspense and experiences,
experiences, events, and/or foreshadowin foreshadowin foreshadowin events, and/or
events, and/or characters. g to develop g to develop g to develop characters.
characters. Sequence experiences, experiences, experiences, Sequence
Sequence events so that events, and/or events, and/or events, and/or events so that
events so that they build on characters. characters. characters. they build on
they build on one another Sequence Sequence Sequence one another
one another to create a events so that events so that events so that to create a
to create a coherent they build on they build on they build on coherent
coherent whole and one another one another one another whole and
whole and build toward to create a to create a to create a build toward
build toward a particular coherent coherent coherent a particular
a particular tone and whole and whole and whole and tone and
tone and outcome (e.g. build toward build toward build toward outcome (e.g.
outcome (e.g. sense of a particular a particular a particular sense of
sense of mystery, tone and tone and tone and mystery,
mystery, suspense, outcome (e.g. outcome (e.g. outcome (e.g. suspense,
suspense, growth, or sense of sense of sense of growth, or
growth, or resolution) mystery, mystery, mystery, resolution)
resolution) Uses clear suspense, suspense, suspense, Uses clear
Uses clear transitions growth, or growth, or growth, or transitions
transitions frequently to resolution) resolution) resolution) frequently to
frequently to help develop Uses clear Uses clear Uses clear help develop
help develop the transitions transitions transitions the
the sequencing of frequently to frequently to frequently to sequencing of
sequencing of events. help develop help develop help develop events.
events. Uses a the the the Uses a
Uses a precise/strong sequencing of sequencing of sequencing of precise/strong
precise/strong words and events. events. events. words and
words and phrases, Uses a Uses a Uses a phrases,
phrases, telling details, precise/strong precise/strong precise/strong telling details,
telling details, and sensory words and words and words and and sensory
and sensory language to phrases, phrases, phrases, language to
language to convey a telling details, telling details, telling details, convey a
convey a vivid picture and sensory and sensory and sensory vivid picture
vivid picture of the language to language to language to of the
of the experiences, convey a convey a convey a experiences,
experiences, events, vivid picture vivid picture vivid picture events,
events, settings of the of the of the settings
settings and/or experiences, experiences, experiences, and/or
and/or characters. events, events, events, characters.
characters. Develops a settings settings settings Develops a
Develops a theme and and/or and/or and/or theme and
theme and weave it characters. characters. characters. weave it
weave it throughout Develops a Develops a Develops a throughout
throughout the narrative. theme and theme and theme and the narrative.
the narrative. Presents and weave it weave it weave it Presents and
Presents and develops throughout throughout throughout develops
develops complications the narrative. the narrative. the narrative. complications
complications to lead up to Presents and Presents and Presents and to lead up to
to lead up to the climax develops develops develops the climax
the climax and develops complications complications complications and develops
and develops a clear climax to lead up to to lead up to to lead up to a clear climax
a clear climax or turning the climax the climax the climax or turning
or turning point in the and develops and develops and develops point in the
point in the narrative. a clear climax a clear climax a clear climax narrative.
narrative. Uses or turning or turning or turning Uses
Uses figurative point in the point in the point in the figurative
figurative language in narrative. narrative. narrative. language in
language in the narrative Uses Uses Uses the narrative
the narrative to develop the figurative figurative figurative to develop the
to develop the plot, language in language in language in plot,
plot, characters, the narrative the narrative the narrative characters,
characters, events, and/or to develop the to develop the to develop the events, and/or
events, and/or experiences. plot, plot, plot, experiences.
experiences. Uses at least characters, characters, characters, Uses at least
Uses at least one of the events, and/or events, and/or events, and/or one of the
one of the following: experiences. experiences. experiences. following:
following: irony, Uses at least Uses at least Uses at least irony,
irony, symbolism, one of the one of the one of the symbolism,
symbolism, multiple following: following: following: multiple
multiple plots, irony, irony, irony, plots,
plots, paradox, symbolism, symbolism, symbolism, paradox,
 paradox, archetype, multiple multiple multiple archetype,
archetype, flashback, or plots, plots, plots, flashback, or
flashback, or stream of paradox, paradox, paradox, stream of
stream of consciousness archetype, archetype, archetype, consciousness
consciousness . flashback, or flashback, or flashback, or .
. stream of stream of stream of
consciousness consciousness consciousness
. . .

Rising Action 5 = Fully and 4= 3= 2= 1= 0 = No

& Climax creatively Demonstrated Attempted to Attempted to Attempted to attempt made
W.3.b,c,d (2) demonstrated Uses dialogue demonstrate; demonstrate; demonstrate; Uses dialogue
Your score: Uses dialogue and a couple a few errors several errors and
4.75 and description errors exist exist exist description
description (characterizat Uses dialogue Uses dialogue Uses dialogue (characterizat
(characterizat ion) to and and and ion) to
ion) to develop description description description develop
develop experiences, (characterizat (characterizat (characterizat experiences,
experiences, events, and/or ion) to ion) to ion) to events, and/or
events, and/or characters. develop develop develop characters.
characters. Uses pacing, experiences, experiences, experiences, Uses pacing,
Uses pacing, reflection , events, and/or events, and/or events, and/or reflection ,
reflection , suspense and characters. characters. characters. suspense and
suspense and foreshadowin Uses pacing, Uses pacing, Uses pacing, foreshadowin
foreshadowin g to develop reflection , reflection , reflection , g to develop
g to develop experiences, suspense and suspense and suspense and experiences,
experiences, events, and/or foreshadowin foreshadowin foreshadowin events, and/or
events, and/or characters. g to develop g to develop g to develop characters.
characters. Sequence experiences, experiences, experiences, Sequence
Sequence events so that events, and/or events, and/or events, and/or events so that
events so that they build on characters. characters. characters. they build on
they build on one another Sequence Sequence Sequence one another
one another to create a events so that events so that events so that to create a
to create a coherent they build on they build on they build on coherent
coherent whole and one another one another one another whole and
whole and build toward to create a to create a to create a build toward
build toward a particular coherent coherent coherent a particular
a particular tone and whole and whole and whole and tone and
tone and outcome (e.g. build toward build toward build toward outcome (e.g.
outcome (e.g. sense of a particular a particular a particular sense of
sense of mystery, tone and tone and tone and mystery,
mystery, suspense, outcome (e.g. outcome (e.g. outcome (e.g. suspense,
suspense, growth, or sense of sense of sense of growth, or
growth, or resolution) mystery, mystery, mystery, resolution)
resolution) Uses clear suspense, suspense, suspense, Uses clear
Uses clear transitions growth, or growth, or growth, or transitions
transitions frequently to resolution) resolution) resolution) frequently to
frequently to help develop Uses clear Uses clear Uses clear help develop
help develop the transitions transitions transitions the
the sequencing of frequently to frequently to frequently to sequencing of
sequencing of events. help develop help develop help develop events.
events. Uses a the the the Uses a
Uses a precise/strong sequencing of sequencing of sequencing of precise/strong
precise/strong words and events. events. events. words and
words and phrases, Uses a Uses a Uses a phrases,
phrases, telling details, precise/strong precise/strong precise/strong telling details,
telling details, and sensory words and words and words and and sensory
and sensory language to phrases, phrases, phrases, language to
language to convey a telling details, telling details, telling details, convey a
convey a vivid picture and sensory and sensory and sensory vivid picture
vivid picture of the language to language to language to of the
of the experiences, convey a convey a convey a experiences,
experiences, events, vivid picture vivid picture vivid picture events,
events, settings of the of the of the settings
settings and/or experiences, experiences, experiences, and/or
and/or characters. events, events, events, characters.
characters. Develops a settings settings settings Develops a
Develops a theme and and/or and/or and/or theme and
theme and weave it characters. characters. characters. weave it
weave it throughout Develops a Develops a Develops a throughout
throughout the narrative. theme and theme and theme and the narrative.
the narrative. Presents and weave it weave it weave it Presents and
Presents and develops throughout throughout throughout develops
develops complications the narrative. the narrative. the narrative. complications
complications to lead up to Presents and Presents and Presents and to lead up to
to lead up to the climax develops develops develops the climax
the climax and develops complications complications complications and develops
and develops a clear climax to lead up to to lead up to to lead up to a clear climax
a clear climax or turning the climax the climax the climax or turning
or turning point in the and develops and develops and develops point in the
point in the narrative. a clear climax a clear climax a clear climax narrative.
narrative. Uses or turning or turning or turning Uses
Uses figurative point in the point in the point in the figurative
figurative language in narrative. narrative. narrative. language in
language in the narrative Uses Uses Uses the narrative
the narrative to develop the figurative figurative figurative to develop the
to develop the plot, language in language in language in plot,
plot, characters, the narrative the narrative the narrative characters,
characters, events, and/or to develop the to develop the to develop the events, and/or
events, and/or experiences. plot, plot, plot, experiences.
experiences. Uses at least characters, characters, characters, Uses at least
Uses at least one of the events, and/or events, and/or events, and/or one of the
one of the following: experiences. experiences. experiences. following:
following: irony, Uses at least Uses at least Uses at least irony,
 irony, symbolism, one of the one of the one of the symbolism,
symbolism, multiple following: following: following: multiple
multiple plots, irony, irony, irony, plots,
plots, paradox, symbolism, symbolism, symbolism, paradox,
paradox, archetype, multiple multiple multiple archetype,
archetype, flashback, or plots, plots, plots, flashback, or
flashback, or stream of paradox, paradox, paradox, stream of
stream of consciousness archetype, archetype, archetype, consciousness
consciousness . flashback, or flashback, or flashback, or .
. stream of stream of stream of
consciousness consciousness consciousness
. . .

Falling 5 = Fully and 4= 3= 2= 1= 0 = No

Action & creatively Demonstrated Attempted to Attempted to Attempted to attempt made
Conclusion demonstrated The problem, demonstrate; demonstrate; demonstrate; The problem,
W.3.e The problem, situation, or a couple a few errors several errors situation, or
situation, or observation is errors exist exist exist observation is
Your score: observation is clearly The problem, The problem, The problem, clearly
4.75 clearly resolved. situation, or situation, or situation, or resolved.
resolved. Provides a observation is observation is observation is Provides a
Provides a conclusion clearly clearly clearly conclusion
conclusion that follows resolved. resolved. resolved. that follows
that follows from and Provides a Provides a Provides a from and
from and reflects on conclusion conclusion conclusion reflects on
reflects on what is that follows that follows that follows what is
what is experienced, from and from and from and experienced,
experienced, observed, or reflects on reflects on reflects on observed, or
observed, or resolved over what is what is what is resolved over
resolved over the course of experienced, experienced, experienced, the course of
the course of the narrative. observed, or observed, or observed, or the narrative.
the narrative. Reflects upon resolved over resolved over resolved over Reflects upon
Reflects upon the theme(s) the course of the course of the course of the theme(s)
the theme(s) in the the narrative. the narrative. the narrative. in the
in the conclusion to Reflects upon Reflects upon Reflects upon conclusion to
conclusion to leave the the theme(s) the theme(s) the theme(s) leave the
leave the reader with a in the in the in the reader with a
reader with a lasting conclusion to conclusion to conclusion to lasting
lasting message to leave the leave the leave the message to
message to take away reader with a reader with a reader with a take away
take away from the story lasting lasting lasting from the story
from the story and apply to message to message to message to and apply to
and apply to life. take away take away take away life.
life. from the story from the story from the story
and apply to and apply to and apply to
life. life. life.
 Mechanics, 5 = Fully and 4= 3= 2= Attempted 1= Attempted 0 = No
Usage & creatively Demonstrated Attempted to to to attempt made
Style W.1.c,d demonstrated Sentence demonstrate; demonstrate; demonstrate; Sentence
& L. 1 & 2 Sentence variety and a couple a few errors several errors variety and
variety and word choice errors exist exist exist word choice
Your score: word choice is effective Sentence Sentence Sentence is effective
5 is effective and variety and variety and variety and and
and sophisticated. word choice word choice word choice sophisticated.
sophisticated. A formal is effective is effective is effective A formal
A formal style and and and and style and
style and objective tone sophisticated. sophisticated. sophisticated. objective tone
objective tone is established A formal A formal A formal is established
is established and style and style and style and and
and maintained & objective tone objective tone objective tone maintained &
maintained & Writing is is established is established is established Writing is
Writing is clear, and and and clear,
clear, concise, and maintained & maintained & maintained & concise, and
concise, and strong. Writing is Writing is Writing is strong.
strong. Sentences clear, clear, clear, Sentences
Sentences demonstrate concise, and concise, and concise, and demonstrate
demonstrate correct usage, strong. strong. strong. correct usage,
correct usage, punctuation, Sentences Sentences Sentences punctuation,
punctuation, capitalization, demonstrate demonstrate demonstrate capitalization,
capitalization, and spelling. correct usage, correct usage, correct usage, and spelling.
and spelling. punctuation, punctuation, punctuation,
capitalization, capitalization, capitalization,
and spelling. and spelling. and spelling.

Comments:
Total: 24/25

Voice Comment: http://talkandcomment.com/p/3338cb85a822a21a3f90fca0 (voice note)