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14
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ART
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EDITORIAL With thanks to...
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DIOR.COM
SAME
SAME,
@justine_cullen
BUT The list was embarrassing to read as a fully formed
nerdy board game is good These elements are like a litany of all empowering, intelligent reads and élan du jour designed
enough for Sheryl Sandberg, the most offensive fashion and beauty to entertain, inspire and help you celebrate style in
it’s good enough for me.
trends of the time, as interpreted by every aspect of your life.
Obsessed.
a naive and gullible teen: a daily When the UK edition was launched 33 years ago, the
eyebrow plucking routine based off spine screamed, “You can tell she reads ELLE.” Now more
the wisdom of Linda Evangelista (“10 mins a day – no than ever, I think you still can.
less!!!”), a resolution to find the perfect mauve-brown
lipstick, instructions for finally learning how to properly cuff
my 501s, a rule for always, always having French-polished
toes. If you weren’t Kate Moss, Vanessa Paradis or
Winona Ryder, the ’90s really was unforgivable.
18
In 2017, we kicked
off the ELLE
Writing had children so I think emotionally I could
tap into that feeling of isolation you get
women’s voices and prescribed boxes. writers who work from cafes but I find it quite
distracting. I need peace and quiet. I sat
uncover some of the HOW DID YOU CHOOSE THE down and wrote this draft, then I went back
country’s most exciting NAME OF THE STORY?
When this story was brewing in my
to it a couple of times and I got that excited
feeling that I sometimes get when I’m
emerging talent. We head, I was actually working as working on a story – I felt like there was
weren’t disappointed. a medical receptionist and we used to something in it and it was going somewhere,
But one voice stood because she hasn’t had a child. The
word, when you break it down, is like
WHAT APPEALS TO YOU ABOUT
WRITING SHORT FICTION?
out for its ability to terra nullius and Nullarbor, and so It’s like you’re taking a couple of scenes or
Introducing writing’s garden and lots of huge trees around me HAS THERE BEEN INVALUABLE
next superstar, and I’d often have a glass of wine and
just be looking at all these birds in the
ADVICE THAT HELPED YOU IN
YOUR JOURNEY?
M.J. Reidy. Read her trees. I guess it worked its way I went to a writing workshop with Wendy
story on p66 subliminally into the story. James – the Australian author of 2017’s
The Golden Child. We’re still good friends
Compiled by: Genevra Leek; Laura Culbert
ANTIOXIDANTBOOST
REVIVESDULL&TIREDLOOKINGSKIN
Who needs DNA when you have Olay?
L ,
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P R
O
R D
H S EX
H
L
K 2A
Victoria Beckham
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Thhe alt-RnB star got the
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know w. Catch her at FOMO
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LIKE-A-BOSS
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24
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WILLIAMS
She won the 2017 Australian
Open while pregnant, and
word is she’ll be back for
2018 to defend her title – just
four months after giving birth.
#7
ITALIAN
STYLE
Our holiday pin-ups?
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non-cringe bikini Instagram:
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#8
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#9
HAIR HERO
That band you reserve for
washing off last night’s
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Be still your inner klepto:
Dior’s original Lip Glow is one
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26
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30
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31
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form of pleated skirts and striped dresses, you
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ki
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is to g t happy, i a good place to start. Words and styling: Claudia Jukic. Photography: Pablo Martin
(still-life); Imaxtree; Jason Lloyd-Evans; Instagram: @tatanaka
Remingt
on
S
ch
ulz,
Pantene H
air
Am
assador b
the
Lowe
down She may have spent the past few years cutting her teeth in LA like
any young Australian actress with talent, but Sophie Lowe isn’t
blithely drinking the La-La Land Kool Aid. “I feel like Australians
aren’t really afraid to offend people, so I get roles that I can really
express myself in and test my abilities,” she says. Her latest role is
no exception, in the TV remake of the seminal 1992 film Romper
Stomper, which kickstarted Russell Crowe’s career (and its warranted
share of controversy in the process). While fictional, the original
mirrored racial tensions at the time, with writer and director Geoffrey
Wright depicting a group of Anglo-Australian skinheads violently
targeting those in Melbourne’s Vietnamese population. This time
around, inspired by more recent news headlines, a far-right given up adjusting and are just like, ‘Oh well, this is what it is.’” As for
paramilitary group called Patriot Blue direct their vitriol and violence coping mechanisms? “I play lots of video games,” she says. “I also
at the Muslim community. Lowe’s character in the series, Zoe, is have a bunch of friends here, and I’m constantly FaceTiming my
married to the organisation’s leader. parents and friends [in Australia]. But I don’t want to settle on that,
“It was hard to play a character where I personally hated I want to feel comfortable.”
everything she stood for,” admits Lowe. “I couldn’t relate to her at Also a singer and songwriter, Lowe is typically known as an actress
all, but I had to make her believable. You don’t often get to push who then veered into music – but she recalls she was writing songs
yourself like that.” But Zoe is more than just a sounding board long before she tried her hand at acting. “Music’s always been there,
for her husband’s agenda. “She’s kind of the backbone of the but now it feels more like another career than a hobby.” Though she
whole organisation, more than she lets on to even her husband, adds, “Acting is where I can actually make money.” But prioritising
because she wants him to feel like he’s in control. She’s a lot her film career wasn’t so much a sensible choice as
more than what she seems at first glance. That’s what is so a natural instinct for someone who, growing up, would watch Baz
interesting about her.” Luhrmann’s epic Romeo + Juliet on repeat while reading along (“like
Lowe isn’t a stranger to divisive roles. One of her first, in a nerd”) from the script. “Acting was just something I couldn’t possibly
the Australian film Beautiful Kate, was as a young girl at the not do. It’s everything that I love. The thing about music that I really
centre of a family haunted by an incestuous past. It’s a confronting enjoy is that I can be in control of it – with acting you’re kind of waiting
story, but in the capable hands of writer and director Rachel for other people to give you a chance. With music I can express
Ward, and carried by a cast that included Ben Mendelsohn, Bryan myself in the way I want to, which is really grounding.”
Brown and Rachel Griffiths, the film was lauded for its nuanced With a starring role across from Charlotte Rampling under her belt
portrayal of a family with complex demons, and it in the indie flick Waiting For The Miracle To Come, Lowe
landed Lowe an AFI nomination will soon be seen in Above Suspicion, based on the real-
for Best Lead Actress. More STAY TUNED: life affair between FBI agent Mark Putnam (played by Jack
@sophielowelowe
recently, she was a teen with Want more Sophie Huston) and his informant (Emilia Clarke), which led
a volatile crush on a much Lowe? Check out her Putnam to serve 10 years in prison for her death (Putnam
older family friend in the musical talent for was the first US federal agent to be convicted of homicide).
hit TV series The Slap, and yourself – her latest Lowe plays Putnam’s wife Kathy, who reportedly drank
took on the role of Kitty in The single, “Trust”, herself to death during her husband’s sentence. Though
Beautiful Lie, a retelling of Anna Karenina. is out now. a considerable role, it’s not something she’s taking for
After being cast in a spate of US-based productions, granted on the roller-coaster ride that is Hollywood –
working with an Australian cast again for Romper between writing and recording new music, she’s still very
Stomper “felt like this big family”, an antidote to the “weird bubble” much in the midst of auditioning. “I’m back in one place
that is Los Angeles, which Lowe admits she’s still settling into, despite so I’m going to start doing some more studio time... And
having lived there for about a year. “It’s hard to adjust. I wonder if the just hoping for another job. That would be cool.”
people telling me I’ll be fine are just saying that because they’ve Romper Stomper will air on Stan from January 1
36
fi t
FILM:
The Post
Getty III was kidnapped by Margot Robbie triple name, which inspired the film.
members of an Italian crime axels her way onto Molly’s Game is in cinemas
ring in an attempt to swindle the big screen as January 25
a ransom from his grandfather, troubled ice-skater
J Paul Getty – believed to Tonya Harding – who
be the world’s richest private was implicated in an
citizen. In this dramatic Ridley attack on rival Nancy
Scott-directed retelling of the Kerrigan during the
ordeal, Michelle Williams stars 1994 Olympic
as the boy’s mother Gail Harris, trials – in I, Tonya.
who becomes increasingly In cinemas January 25
desperate as his grandfather –
despite his incredible wealth
– refuses to pay the sum. Avoid googling
Molly’s Game
art A FEMALE
GAZE
starters
hot mess whose inner diatribe
will strike a chord with those Author, activist and academic
who possess a similarly morbid Germaine Greer was a “nasty
sense of humour. woman” long before it became
Jamila Woods
January 22-27; a tag necessary of reclaiming
sydneyfestival.org.au from a certain sunset-hued
president, so her words are likely
to assume a new pertinence
Put your “do more FROM when she appears in
interesting shit” conversation at Sydney Festival
FACTOR
If your appetite for all things
track “LSD”) and Macklemore.
Catch her for a special
performance at Mofo, before
on hallucinogens). See the
resulting film, Marina Abramovic’
In Brazil: The Space In Between,
The xx can’t be sated by just she heads to Melbourne to when it makes its Australian
one performance this month play Sugar Mountain. debut as part of Mofo.
(they’re touring our east coast January 19; January 19-20; mofo.net.au
from January 13 to 20), then you mofo.net.au
won’t want to miss the Tree
Of Codes ballet at Sydney
Festival – it’s soundtracked by FLEA
the trio’s frontman Jamie xx.
An adaptation of Jonathan
Safran Foer’s novel of the
BITES
If you’ve managed to pin
same name (which, in a very down a streaming link to
meta turn of events, is actually Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s cult
a retelling of Bruno Schulz’s hit Fleabag (if you haven’t,
book The Street Of Crocodiles), keep at it – and godspeed),
the Wayne McGregor- now you can catch the play
choreographed work comes that inspired the BAFTA Award-
alive to the British producer’s winning series. Presented
Marina Abramovic’ In Brazil:
38
LOOK first
ALL AUSSIE
ADVENTURES:
*
FALLS FESTIVAL HAS SOME
“As difficult HUGE INTERNATIONAL
ACTS, BUT NO-ONE
and sensitive as CAN SOUNDTRACK
they are, these ALL-DAY BEER-SWILLING
HEDONISM LIKE
topics need to THESE LOCALS
be discussed” Falls Festival runs until January 7;
fallsfestival.com
telling it
my experience was shared Band might seem like another
@stelladonnelly
like it is
MUSIC: personal thing with people in love with the emotiveness of a young
a public space.” Paul Kelly. While their latest record,
With a range of musical More Scared Of You Than You Are
influences from singer- Of Me, is a chronicle of a colossal,
songwriter Billy Bragg (“I can all-consuming break-up, listen out for
thank his early romantic the exception-to-the-rule tracks (like
Stella Donnelly albums for the way I write
lyrics”) to Solange Knowles
the giddily romantic “Birthdays”),
which just might be the unexpected
is commanding (“I haven’t been able to stop listening to A Seat soundtrack to your next summer fling.
attention (and At The Table since it came out”), the Fremantle- CROWD PLEASER: “Death
songwriting style Having just finished touring her first EP, Thrush
Metal, around the country – not to mention
taking out Triple J’s Unearthed Artist of the Year
On Instagram, Stella Donnelly is endearingly and the Levi’s Music Prize – Donnelly looks set to
witty, down to earth (see: unflattering selfies cement her incredible promise with a debut
and a text reminding her nan about an album, which is currently in the works. This month, dune rats
upcoming gig) and humbly supportive of her she’ll take to the stage at Melbourne’s Sugar Despite their unapologetic,
peers, whether it’s her bandmates in groups Mountain, before heading home to Fremantle zero-fucks-given schtick, it’d be
Boat Show and Bells for a slot at Laneway Festival in a mistake to dismiss the Dune Rats as
Words: Elle McClure. Photography: Richard Davenport; Ravi Deepres;
Rapids, or the female artists stella tells... February. Best to catch her while merely music your brother and his
paving her way, such as SOUNDTRACK TO AN you can, because in March mates listen to in your parents’ garage
Joel Chester Fildes; Steve Gunther; Ian Laidlaw; Zoe Rain
Ali Barter and Alex Lahey. AUSTRALIAN SUMMER? she’ll take her lo-fi sound to (while doing things you’d rather not
But like all your favourite Dr G Yunupingu. So beautiful. Austin’s South By Southwest know about) – they’re fast proving to
girl crushes, she’s also NEW YEAR’S Music Festival – an impressive be formidable Aussie talent. Their
unashamedly straight-talking RESOLUTION? coup that loosely translates to most recent album, The Kids Will
and unafraid to be searing Do a handstand in yoga “destined for big things”. Know It’s Bullshit, went straight to the
on the issues that matter – without kicking anyone sugarmountainfestival.com top of the ARIA charts, and their
such as the topic of sexual in the face. shows are instant sell-outs. Engage in
assault in her song “Boys DREAM DAY OFF? some Dunies debauchery and rest
Will Be Boys”, in which In bed, eating mee goreng, assured you’ll have something to
she addresses the rape of watching Broad City. I wish talk to your brother about at the
I could lie to you and say next family get-together.
“doing a pottery class” or CROWD PLEASER: “Bullshit”.
something cool, but I can’t.
39
TECH:
TOP 3 SMART
sound
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BOOKS:
LOOK first
A MONTH IN
of THE COUNTRY
BY JL CARR
$16.99, PENGUIN
Nominated for the Man Booker and
frustrates mostly everyone else – seek of an older friend of his father’s during more impetus to make few plans between
out independence and hedonism while a family holiday in the Italian countryside – now and when you have to go back to work).
the two visit yet another doctor, this time in the earned the author a Lambda Literary Award
south of Spain. What results is a unique and in 2007 (and is the basis of the much-lauded BONJOUR TRISTESSE
powerful exploration of the ties that bind film of the same name). BY FRANÇOISE SAGAN
daughters to their mothers long after their $19.99, PENGUIN
own adulthood has come around. CLOUDSTREET Despite earning its 18-year-old French
BY TIM WINTON author the Prix Des Critiques when it was
THE BEACH $26.99, PENGUIN published in 1954 (under the pen name of
BY ALEX GARLAND Set over a period of 20 years, summer days Françoise Sagan), Bonjour Tristesse’s tale
$22.99, PENGUIN spent prawn fishing and picnicking on the of a teenage protagonist who starts an
The film adaptation may have been banks of the Swan River punctuate this affair with an older man while holidaying
a commercial flop (despite giving us Australian classic, which won master with her father on the Côte d’Azur was
almost two hours of PLD – Prime storyteller Winton the Miles Franklin Award. considered “disturbing” at the time, with
Leonardo DiCaprio), but the novel on There’s a good reason why this book is to portions of its English translation edited out
which it was based earned Garland Australian bookshelves what Bibles are as a result. Now published in its entirety, it
the Betty Trask Prize for his horrifying Lord to motel rooms’ bedside drawers. makes for an enchanting summer read.
41
FOOD:
MEALS
ON WHEELS
REDUX
CHICKEN SOUP MAY
SOOTHE THE SOUL, BUT NOT
to find the elixir of life. They were trying to AS MUCH AS A HOMEMADE,
turn water into gold.” LOW-FODMAP AND
It’s something he’s on track to doing with his HAND-DELIVERED VERSION
top-shelf offering, which secured the financial Socrates once said: “Worthless people
backing of the world’s largest distiller Diageo live only to eat and drink; people of worth
a year after launching. “For them to make their eat and drink only to live.” Clearly he never
first investment in 257 years in a non-alcoholic experienced a Lune croissant, if so his
product is a great marker for us in terms of the philosophy would reflect one Twitter user’s
way the world is changing. It’s day one and it’s trending rhetoric: “Why am I more invested
a minute past midnight,” Branson says. “The in The Great British Bake Off than I am in
way people are choosing to drink these days is my own life.” Like bandage dresses, the
DRINK: not a fad. It should be normal that when you go days of MasterChef-inspired snow eggs
out you can experience a great alcohol and and “plating up” may be cooling, with
mocktail
a great non-alcohol list.” fussy food being replaced by a growing
His Garden 108 drop is made predominantly hunger for homemade goods crafted
from peas that take 108 days to sow, grow with love (and natural sugars).
and pick before they undergo a six-week This return to a more Kerrigan-family style
hour
bottling process. The of eating has been quietly bubbling on
42
LOOK first
LIFE SKILLS:
the NEW
In 2018, we WILL quit trying to conquer our email inbox
MANAGE
Last March, writer Melissa Febos posed EMAIL LIKE
a question via an essay in literary magazine A BOSS
From: ELLE Australia
Catapult: “Do you want to be known
for your writing, or for your swift email Sent: Monday, January 1, 2018 at 12.39pm *likeFreeUnroll.me
decluttering tools
can help
responses?” She argued that the solution to To: Everyone manage your subscription
our being overwhelmed by emails isn’t to Subject: New year, new inbox emails so you can
bow down to the increasingly accepted unsubscribe from all those
expectation of immediate response. She 1. Exercise agency: On average, people mailing lists you don’t
was onto something. respond to an email notification within six remember signing up for
Research suggests we spend around seconds, but each interruption requires up to nine in the first place, or roll
13 hours per week reading and responding minutes of mental recovery. The University of upyour favourites.
to emails. As author and entrepreneur Tim
Ferriss puts it, “Email eats so much time. First,
California found when people checked email out
of their own volition rather than being prompted, * Boomerang for Gmail
lets you control when
because it’s everyone else’s agenda for they reported higher productivity. Want to get yousend and receive
your time, often including manufactured out the door on time? Switch notifications off. emails, reminds you if
emergencies. Second, email allows you 2. Don’t apologise: That viral tweet, “Adulthood youdon’t hear back from
to fool yourself into thinking you’re being is emailing ‘Sorry for the delayed response!’ back someone in a specific
productive.” Basically put, we have an and forth until one of you dies”, has never felt more time frame and takes
email etiquette problem. We are either relevant. Most emails don’t have deadlines, so messages out of your
placing our own importance ahead of why apologise? Rather than the onus being on inbox until you actually
others, or creating more work for everyone the recipient, become a better sender. State need them (like
by pretending to be productive. a deadline if you have one, and if not, let’s cut Monday,8am, not
At this point, it’s almost a given our email each other some slack. A good alternative to Friday, cocktail o’clock).
will continue to spiral out of control. In 2017,
the estimated number of global email users
apologising: “Thank you for your patience.”
3. Check yourself: The more we send, the more * Smart app Spark (for
Mac and iOS) divides
was 3.7 billion, with the number of emails we receive. Cull nicety-only replies such as “Great, your emails into personal,
Words: Jenna Clarke; Madeleine Dore; Genevra Leek. Photography:
sent per day projected to reach a massive thanks” and keep emails to five sentences or less. newsletters and
Sevak Babakhani (still-life); foodbyus.com.au; Jason Lloyd-Evans
269 billion (up 64 billion on 2015). What Write a clear subject line and ensure the first notifications, and
we need is to set new rules to help us send sentence provides the reason for emailing, understands which of
and (please, dear God) receive less. the action required and any time sensitivity. your emails are the most
Prioritising work of importance while still 4. Rethink the automatic response: It’s important, bringing them
managing emails comes down to a choice useful for setting expectations, but can be to the top of the list.
to be imperfect at the latter. With that in mind,
here’s the 2018 guide to email etiquette…
condescending. Avoid busy-bragging about your
overloaded inbox and only include information * Google’s Smart Reply
feature on its Gmail app
that makes the next email interaction smoother (on Android and iOS)
– eg. links to FAQs or what times you check your uses artificial intelligence
inbox and answer emails (see Zoë Foster Blake: to suggest answers to
“I now check it twice daily, and reply only to those your incoming emails
that are critical. Or from Beyoncé”). A little humour – one final reason for
also goes a long way in smoothing over any throwback Yahoo users to
e-rage upon receiving your OOO. Meanwhile, make the switch (looking
you’ll be sipping Aperol by the Aegean. at you hiphopgirl99).
43
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an aussie
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44
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RESORT
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47
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Take your rainbow brights, leave
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HACKS TO TRY
BEFORE THE
IT-GIRLS DO
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a subtle detail, an unexpected bag HANSEN & GRETEL,
hansenandgretel.com
or the return of a dorky classic
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Shi
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NG
IS R EPEATI
ISTORY
4 THINGS H
WE LEARNT
FROM
RESORT 2018
THE MOST WEARABLE
SEASON OF ALL
HAS SOME VERY
PRACTICAL TRENDS
UP ITS SLEEVE
TIME TO REDECO
RATE
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EIS URE
ATHL
N EW Top, $45.99, H&M,
S THE hm.com/au
U RE I
M LEIS
GLA
time, it’s driven Or, indeed, whether they were having them at all.
That’s all changing. We don’t just have women demanding an
says Stephanie ignorance and deafening silence around real female sexuality.
Consider the thousands of women wearing “pussy hats” at the
54
four years that she and Corinne Fisher have been highly entrepreneurial women who socialise and help each
presenting their lively show, which they say has other out on marketing ideas in open forums – while many things
310,000 downloads per episode, women have are par for the course on social media, sex is generally
“changed enormously”, she says. “Women are banned, even if it is the kind of sex that brings wellness and
constantly writing to us, or coming up to tell us that healing to women across the world.
they’re finally comfortable with asking for what they Over in New York, there’s Women Of Sex Tech, led by Polly
want in bed.” The duo have just written a book, F*cked: Rodriguez, who is the CEO of Unbound, a sex-toy company (an
Being Sexually Explorative And Self-Confident In online shop for “rebellious” women) that sends subscribers products
A World That’s Screwed. The book is needed, the every quarter. Think Bellabox, but with BDSM. Rodriguez believes
authors assert, because the second sexual revolution that the new-era vibrators will help “demystify the female orgasm for
isn’t quite here yet. “We’re just as clueless as the women women who might have difficulty reaching climax”.
who were sexual in the ’70s,” says Fisher. “But now And yet the author of one of 2017’s best sex books suggests that
we’re more comfortable being vocal about how the orgasm is so amazing it can never be demystified. Annie
completely clueless we are.” Sprinkle’s The Explorer’s Guide To Planet Orgasm goes beyond
While some might see the massive success of sex robots. Readers are addressed as “Orgasmanauts” because,
Pornhub (now 10 years old and with 75 million daily when you get really good at orgasms, Sprinkle explains, they can
visitors) as a good thing for female pleasure expression, take you “to a state of altered consciousness”.
a growing wave of female porn barons disagree. There’s a lot for women to look forward to in the world of future
“People should be more critical about their porn,” says sex. The octopus body teaser does actually exist – named the Love
Erika Lust, who makes independent, female-friendly Pad, it was the winner of the Sex Tech Hack, which Devlin
porn. We’re talking in her sunny office in Barcelona; she organised in late 2016 at Goldsmiths. The follow-up 2017 event
moved to the city from Sweden as a student, and was even bigger. She admits most sex robots are currently little
decided to stay. It’s refreshing that we don’t even need more than “mechanised sex dolls because of the difficulty replicating
to broach the “Is porn degrading for women?” chestnut human movement”. And with a smart phone and a piece of
that was doing the rounds in the ’80s. It’s a contentious hardware, there are now sex-tech inventions that can pleasure your
issue, but I’m interested in a world where women are allowed to lover from across the ocean. “It’s great for our heavy travel
express their erotic imaginations as far as they want to. Just as men schedules and fragmented relationships,” she says.
have been able to do for decades. Sex toys will become more desirable, she predicts, as women
Lust says that porn should be the equivalent of fair-trade increasingly enter the sex-tech field. (The Sex Tech Hack in 2016
chocolate. “We need to ask, who is behind these sites?” she says. was roughly a 50:50 male to female ratio.) And yet technology will
“Who are the women? What are their stories? Who is earning the only be a small component of the second sexual revolution. In Buzz,
money? I don’t go to these sites because I don’t feel secure there.” her new book on the history of sex toys, Hallie Lieberman warns:
Luckily, porn is now starting to have a craft beer-style niche. “Sex tech can be part of a healthy sex life, but all sexual interactions
“A new world of indie adult cinema is growing,” Lust explains. shouldn’t be mediated through technology.”
“Women like me want to watch people connect over sex, not just This is a good point, because once we’ve learnt to be
be physical robots.” She says her projects are all crowdfunded, so amazing Orgasmanauts, we might find that the concept of the
members (60:40 male to female ratio) get to see what they want. relationship has changed radically. Most of us have heard of
The entrepreneur also runs a program training female directors, and “polyamory”, basically an open relationship with rules. But at the
her favourite current director is Transparent creator Jill Soloway. recent Queer Spirit Festival in the UK, there was a fascinating
“I‘m obsessed with her show I Love Dick. I love how Soloway lets workshop called Loving Many by self-described “pleasure activist”
women be sexual without slutifying them.” Calu Lema. She talked about the concept of “relationship
Lust’s films embrace a diversity in terms of gender, sexuality, anarchy” where there’s no sentimental hierarchy with any of
race and body type. And if you think that sounds “modern”, you your many lovers. If someone can come up with an app that tells
can’t have met Stephanie Alys, whose company MysteryVibe you how to get rid of jealousy, this sounds great.
makes a tech-smart bendy dildo called the Crescendo. She doesn’t The future’s going to be a blast. The day will begin with an
talk about women and men – she says “people with vulvas” and orgasm, not caffeine, and women will say the word “orgasm” like
“people with penises” to encompass those who are not biological they now say “yoga”. We will also talk about our “vulva” as
Photography: Chris Heads/Trunk Archive/Snapper Media
females or males. “As society opens up to a more gender-fluid opposed to our “vagina”, which is only part of our powerful
space, you have to be inclusive and diverse,” explains Alys. “It’s genitalia. Sex will be better for men and women (although the
about pleasure, and pleasure is not gendered.” definition of those words will have broadened), because smart men
Alys is also the co-founder of London’s sisterhood sex mafia, will have learnt sex is more fulfilling if you understand what your
the self-named Sex Tech Collective. The $40 billion sex-toy lover really likes. Some may be in two minds about the octopus
market has been dubbed “sex tech” since so many of the tentacles, but all the women I spoke to agree that swinging-from-the-
toys now work through computers and smart phones. Members chandeliers-style sex will soon be replaced by the much more
include Devlin, Kate Moyle, the co-founder of Pillow app honest goal of good old-fashioned pleasure. E
(“deeper connection for busy couples”), and Wan Tseng, To help crowdfund Stephanie Theobald’s book Sex Drive, visit
the founder of Wisp (“sensual jewellery”). They’re a bunch of unbound.com/books/sex-drive
55
CONSCIOUSLY
COUPLED
Every
relationship
has its issues,
so why the
taboo?
Sophia Bennett
lifts the veil
on marriage
counselling
and finds
a pre-emptive
strike is
increasingly
par for
the course
“I’m going to ask you to sit facing each other and look deeply issues – except my husband and I had decided not to tell anyone
into each other’s eyes for a whole minute,” our marriage therapist that we had chosen to get help. We were embarrassed. Ashamed,
told us, 10 minutes into our first session. “It’s a mindfulness exercise I think, that we couldn’t fix things ourselves and worried that
that enhances intimacy and establishes a deeper psychic friends would see it as a sign our marriage was on its last legs,
connection between lovers,” she explained, using many of my instead of what it actually was – a Hail Mary attempt to break
least favourite words in a single sentence. Dutifully, my husband patterns of behaviour that we set up before our first anniversary, and
and I rearranged our chairs and tamped down the instinct to chart a different course in our marriage.
back out of her sandalwood-scented practice room and make “You do better in the gym with a trainer; you don’t figure out
a run for it. Because we had come this far. We had realised how to cook without reading a recipe. Therapy is not something
after two years in marital S-town that therapy might be the to be embarrassed about,” said actress Kristen Bell in 2015,
only road out. So while she retied a block-print headscarf discussing why she and husband Dax Shepard began working with
that suggested she had a Kwanzaa festival to get to after our a therapist early in their relationship. Ever the therapy supporter,
50-minute hour, we locked eyes and waited. she’s also said: “I don’t mind advertising a healthy marriage. I’m
And then her phone dinged. And then again. “Sorry,” she said, trying... like everyone else.”
fumbling in her basket. “Stay present, loving partners, I’m just going Commentators called Bell “brave” to “admit” it, but a few
to quickly check this in case it’s my son needing a ride.” Three more years on, it seems more like early evidence of a now-discernible shift
dings and we got up, thanked her for her ruinously expensive time in the way marriage counselling is perceived, especially by couples
and left without a follow-up appointment. in their twenties and thirties. More and more couples aren’t waiting
Technically, our first experience with couple counselling had until “the very last minute when there is a crisis or they are not sure
the makings of a killer anecdote – the therapist with message alert whether they are going to stay,” psychologist Janet Reibstein told
56
The Times in the UK. As society becomes more open to therapy in emotional fluency is greater than in previous generations. The ’70s
general, couples are attending “for tune-ups or for direction or for and ’80s saw an unprecedented upswing in divorce rates as
tutorship or at a point when they say, ‘We are at an impasse and not the taboo around it broke down. “Many of us had childhoods
communicating the way we would like to.’” shaped by divorce and we know the impact of that,” says
Back at home, there’s evidence of the same trend. “It’s pre- Melbourne-based counsellor Jo Gniel. “We’ve had to live through
emptive,” said Lindy Klim of her decision to see a therapist with her it and so, of course, there would be more willingness to invest and
fiancé Adam Ellis. “I didn’t want to get to the point where we needed ask what do I need to do to look after my relationship?”
help,” and in Bali, where the couple live, “there’s no stigma,” Klim After all, we all know the statistics. That one in three Australian
said. “Everyone has someone helping them with something.” marriages fails and 70 per cent of couples will experience
“There’s definitely a move away from old attitudes that have infidelity. Of the relationships that do survive, only 30 per cent could
existed around therapy,” says Sian Khuman, a psychologist and be classified as healthy and functional, according to research by
couple therapist with Relationships Australia. “In older generations the American psychologist Ty Tashiro. The vast majority devolve into
and still in certain communities, the idea that you go and talk to bitterness and dysfunction over time. “More and more there is an
someone about your problems means it’s the end of your expectation that you are going to have to work on it,” agrees
relationship. But it’s not shameful, or a sign you need a third party to Khuman. “That you do have to focus and put the effort in.”
tell you whether you should stay together or not.” In addition, our perception of what exactly marriage is
As proof, Khuman cites the sudden popularity of psychotherapist for has dramatically evolved in a single generation. No longer is the
and author Esther Perel, whose books on infidelity and erotic institution regarded as an economic unit to support the raising of
intelligence have been translated into 25 languages, and her two children, as it was for much of human history. Now, as Perel told The
TED Talks viewed a combined 19 million times. But it’s her podcast, Atlantic, “We still want everything the traditional family was meant
Where Should We Begin?, which brings the listener into a real-life to provide... but now we also want our partner to love us, to desire
session with a struggling couple, that’s captured public attention – us, to be interested in us. We should be best friends and trusted
although it is not easy listening. The New Yorker called it “stressful as confidants, and passionate lovers to boot.”
all hell”, but Perel’s own summation of her work as a “public service” “For the first time, I could see how marriages end,” says Dr Kate
is clearly shared by her fanbase. Bradley*, a 42-year-old English teacher who had been married
During a recent interview with podcast Lit Up, Perel was for five years when the relationship began to falter under the
asked when in a relationship should a couple engage in the pressure of becoming parents. “Even though I think we are both
kind of difficult conversations that therapy brings up. Her answer: emotionally literate people, it felt bigger than something we
“Early on and throughout.” could handle on our own. I just felt really fallible for the first time and
“I’m definitely seeing a lot of younger couples coming in,” says I knew that if we didn’t find new ways of talking to each other, we
Sydney-based psychologist Rachael Walden. “Whether they have wouldn’t be together in 10 years.”
made the decision to move in together or they want to get married At her instigation, the couple spent four months working
but feel nervous because they’re already experiencing gridlock with a counsellor who specialised in family systems therapy,
around some issues, they’re now seeking to work those out and nip which traces patterns of behaviour back to the family a person
them in the bud, which to me indicates a growing understanding grows up in as a means of understanding adult triggers. “Through
and respect of marriage.” talking with him, we were able to see that in a sense we were
For long-term couples, the protracted first stage of therapy is both responding to the most basic childhood fears – annihilation
usually spent unravelling historical resentments and “repairing or abandonment,” Bradley says. “We were fighting those
old ruptures,” as Walden describes it, “but with a newer couple, ghosts rather than each other and what we learnt from our
those issues haven’t become entrenched and there won’t be therapist were ways of loving each other in those moments
so much repair work to begin with.” But at the same time, she of existential terror. It was so healing for us, and even though we
says, “male brains only finish maturing around 26 years of age chose not to tell anyone to begin with, particularly our
and females at around 25, so couples who commence a committed parents, because we did feel there was a stigma around it, now
relationship when in their early- or mid-twenties may be less aware it’s like I can’t be bothered to hide it anymore. I’ll always
of their own relational patterns.” volunteer it and, inadvertently, the effect of that has been that
On top of which, there can be immense challenge in friends have come to us for support. Maybe it encourages
Photography: We Are The Rhoads/Trunk Archive/Snapper Media.
managing the transition from limerence – the early, lust-fuelled, them that it’s normal and we all go through it. Because marriage is
handsy, “I want to watch you sleep” stage of love that generally just fucking hard work.”
lasts six months to two years – to something functional and resilient. Most of us, deep down, do enter a relationship expecting
“To begin with, it’s rose-coloured glasses and the rush of oxytocin,” it to fulfil our needs. And most of us will at some point wonder
agrees Khuman. “You don’t see many couples in therapy in the if maybe it’s just mixing your issues with their issues and shaking
limerence phase, but there is always a defining moment when that the jar. “I’ll always congratulate a couple who have made that
wears off and you have to decide: will I be with them? And that’s call and admitted that maybe they can’t do it on their own,”
*Name has been changed
when they may decide they need help.” says Walden. “There are so many more enjoyable things you could
In a broader social sense, perhaps it’s unsurprising that gen X be doing at 7pm than coming into work on yourselves.” And even
and millennial couples are more open to the idea of enlisting for couples who have old-school left it until catastrophe occurs, “the
a professional early on, and not just because their level of fact that you’re both there shows that it matters to you.” E
57
I L L U S T RAT I ON BY
T A NY A C O O P E R
RADICAL
Expect to see a growing number
of do-gooders with New Year’s
resolutions that read, “Be a better
person”, because 2018 is the year
for spreading love, embracing
authenticity and leaning into
social sustainability
59
SAY HELLO
TO YOUR
DOING NEIGHBOURS
Do you know your UberEats
delivery person better than you
know your neighbours? Change
that on March 25 by working on
building better relationships with
those who may loan you a cup
of sugar. Getting to know who
lives around you is especially
Events to
t support, share in and great for the elderly and
vulnerable, so why not take some
celebbrate throughout 2018 time away from Netflix to pop in
next door for a cuppa and
connect with your community.
IN JANUARY neighbourday.org
*****
DONATE IN MARCH *****
BLOOD WEAR IN APRIL
MEET US ON
One in three Australians needs plasma
and platelets in their lifetime, yet only one in
30 donates – and blood stocks particularly
YELLOW
Around 10 per cent of women worldwide THE STREET
drop during the party season, according to experience endometriosis – a debilitating While 2017 was a watershed moment
the Red Cross. Collection centres all condition that can damage fertility. The for harassment and sexism, the eighth
around the country will be open over the illness costs Australians about $7.7 billion annual International Anti-Street Harassment
New Year period – book online, pop in a year through lost productivity and direct Week aims to continue to raise awareness
and be sure to try at least two of the healthcare costs, so for the month of of gender-based persecution. Events like
famous Red Cross choc-chip cookies March wear something yellow, post chalkwalks, Twitter hangouts and
once you’re done. a photo to your social media with workshops will be held from April 8 to 14
donateblood.com.au the hashtags #endoaustralia and with a goal of trying to put a stop
#marchintoyellow and start a discussion to catcalling, homophobic slurs and
***** about the disease that affects so many. assaults in public places.
IN FEBRUARY marchintoyellow.org.au meetusonthestreet.org
GRAB YOUR
LATTE FROM
SHOP LOCAL A CAFE
Want to support local producers while discovering where exactly
your food comes from? Those of us lucky enough to live in a place SUPPORTING
where food is abundant, fresh and ready to eat have a choice to
join other “Super Freegans” throughout April and pledge to avoid CAFESMART
Your morning coffee can impact
supermarkets and instead source sustenance from farmers’
markets, local shops, food-box schemes or grow your own. more than just your alertness
supermarketfree.com.au levels in August if you find
a cafe that has teamed up
with the CafeSmart initiative to
CHANNEL ’FESS UP help end homelessness in
Australia. Last year, close to
YOUR INNER TO YOUR 800 Australian cafes donated
$1 from every coffee sold
RIOT GRRRL CRUSH
It began as a special day in Boston in What started back in 2006 on “the
over one day of trade and
organisers are expecting more
2015, but is now being enjoyed around first Friday after the first full moon in May”
to jump on board this year.
streetsmartaustralia.org/cafesmart
the world by proxy. On April 9, throw on has now been locked into a consistent
your favourite grunge T-shirt and pay your date of May 7 after organisers decided
respects to the work of Bikini Kill following the lunar cycle was “too hard *****
frontwoman, activist and hardcore-punk to advertise and keep track of”. IN SEPTEMBER
feminist Kathleen Hanna on, what Boston
mayor Marty Walsh declares, Riot Grrrl
International Tell Your Crush Day pretty
much does what it says on the packet. WEAR
Day. Walsh adapted Hanna’s original
manifesto from 1991 to proclaim the annual
celebration: “The Riot Grrrl philosophy has
This annual “holiday” was devised by
the International Society For The
Advancement Of The Crush Agenda out
LIPSTICK
Raise awareness, funds and your self-
never felt more relevant, with misogyny still of a desire to see more people be esteem in one go by swiping on some
rampant in many cultural spaces... Riot open and honest about the world around lippie throughout September in support
Grrrls redefine the language used against them. To get started, check out the website of women’s mental health research
them and continue to fight the newest and find out how you can pass on your and advocacy groups. Register online and
incarnations of patriarchy.” Amen. “sparklies” to someone special. gain sponsorship for wearing lipstick
getyourcrushon.wordpress.com the whole month – the money will then
***** be donated to Lifeline, RUOK? and the
IN MAY ***** Centre Of Women’s Mental Health. It’s
COMPOSTING FOLLOW
liptember.com.au
*****
MALALA
Celebrate all that is great about worms by IN NOVEMBER
getting your hands dirty from May 7 to 13
for International Compost Awareness
Rihanna, former Prime Minister Julia
Gillard and former First Lady Michelle CELEBRATE
Week Australia. By avoiding traditional
landfill, composting biodegradable waste
can help reduce carbon pollution as well
Obama are all about promoting the
importance of women’s education.
However, none have done more to
THE LIGHT
Diwali is the biggest festival celebrated
as build healthier soils. Enthusiasts are further the cause than Malala Yousafzai, by Hindus, Sikhs and Buddhists around
encouraged by the Centre For Organic former Taliban victim turned Oxford the world. The “festival of lights”, as it’s
Research & Education to hold off on getting undergraduate. After she was attacked known, celebrates the triumph of good
a mani for the week and instead host by insurgents in 2012, the UN has since over evil and light over darkness.
events like workshops or take a tour of declared July 12 “Malala Day”, a time And the world can always use more
composting facilities to raise awareness to reflect on and continue her legacy of light and fireworks, which are now used
of this sustainable practice. advocating for equal access to education by the thousands to celebrate the
compostweek.com.au for all women. special occasion. >
61
IT’S
COOL
I am not, I suspect, an innately
kind person. Aged eight, I was
accused of bullying by a boy called
Sam because I told everyone
his clothes looked like someone
TO BE exhibition to Grenfell Tower victims
in the UK and Ariana Grande visited
victims of the Manchester attacks in
hospital. These acts of kindness
seem, in some respect, to show that
had sewn a vacuum bag to a fire our world has moved away from the
blanket and given it a pair of cut-throat, greed-is-good culture of
knitted sleeves. Inspirational quotes the ’80s and ’90s towards something
on Twitter set my teeth on edge. I get
an intense feeling of satisfaction Nell Frizzell tries a little softer.
Of course, it’s often claimed that
when I overtake men in cycling altruism on for size millennials are the most narcissistic,
shorts when I’m on my bike, and and discovers being selfish and abusive generation of all
I love winning at Scrabble.
And yet, like more than 3.6 million more considerate time. According to the UK children’s
charity NSPCC, one in three children
Australians, according to the 2016 and less cut-throat fits have been a victim of cyberbullying,
Census results, I volunteer at least
once a month (as an English teacher
like a glove while an Australian study by digital-
security firm Norton found that one in
at a community centre for refugees four women under 30 had received
and immigrants), I recycle, I pay general threats of physical violence.
people compliments, I talk to But the picture is far from simple. As
strangers, I don’t like to see people Cerian Jenkins, campaigner and
cry. Perhaps this is evidence, if founder of the Gender Equality
evidence were needed, that my Network, put it to me: “You can’t
generation of xennials (those born deconstruct gender inequality in 140
between 1977 and 1983) is just as, characters. When I first started
if not more, socially responsible, ethically minded, environmentally campaigning, I was quite reactionary to people who were cruel
concerned and empathetic than those that came before it. Or, to me. Now, 10 years later, I’ve definitely learnt that it’s up to
perhaps, I’m simply a follower in what social psychologists call us to respond kindly to everyone. Obviously, if someone is being
“the generosity contagion”, when people imitate other’s prosocial abusive to you, or threatening violence or sexual assault, you are
behaviour. Do I, for example, offer to carry older people’s suitcases under no obligation to be kind or to even interact with that
up train-platform steps person. But if they are coming across as unkind because they feel
62
reach out to vulnerable people in my neighbourhood, as the list MAKE
suggests. As for acts of kindness on the internet, I have picked
some low-hanging fruit – sending out supportive tweets, wishing
people a Facebook happy birthday, leaving celebratory CROSS-
comments on Instagram: I’ve done it all. And only sometimes to try
to make people like me.
As author and trainee psychologist Eleanor Morgan points out, STITCH,
in many ways the internet has made it easier for our generation
to show empathy. “Whereas, in real-life situations, the Bystander
Effect means we might assume that someone else – a friend or
a person in authority – will intervene, you can be very direct in
NOT WAR
“CRAFTIVISM” MAY SOUND LIKE
online acts of kindness.” People have, argues Morgan, been SOMETHING YOU WOULD EXPECT TO
pushed out of “soft” relationships – with their shopkeepers, ENCOUNTER AT A COUNTRY WOMEN’S
neighbours, GPs – to the extent that millennials have become ASSOCIATION MEETING, BUT THIS
separated from others. “And so,” she asks, “if we are losing those MOVEMENT OF NON-AGGRESSIVE
daily human connections, who are you kind to?” Maybe the ACTIVISM IS GAINING TRACTION
answer is, somewhat surprisingly, “strangers on the internet”.
Just as it’s easier than ever to take to Twitter and anonymously
plough into a stranger because you dislike their politics, body Sarah Corbett, founder of Craftivist Collective, started a campaign
shape, spelling or opinions, simultaneously it has never been in 2015 that convinced UK retailer Marks & Spencer board
easier to go to Twitter or Tumblr and find millions of people who members to agree to pay their workers a living wage rate by
think, feel, look and identify the same way as you. Campaigns making them cross-stitched handkerchiefs that read: “Don’t blow it.
for trans rights, abortion rights, gay rights, racial justice, economic We know your jobs are really tough, but we really hope that you
equality and social justice have all become more visible, use your power to help the most vulnerable people.” “They really
easier to access, more familiar to were bespoke,” Corbett says. “We googled the
generations born after 1980 because we crap out of those people, used their favourite
can simply look them up online. ALTRUISM colours, decorated them with things that they liked.
The internet has also allowed a far
broader reach for volunteer organisations
STORE They were totally overwhelmed and ended up
working with us.” Those hankies are now part of
on kindness. Take a scroll through the
THE BEST ANTI-JERK the official M&S Archive and the company
GoVolunteer website and you can, with
APPS TO DOWNLOAD and Craftivist Collective are still working together.
just a few clicks, volunteer at a soup ACTS OF RANDOM Corbett, who is an introvert with a love of craft, is
kitchen, visit local elderly people or help KINDNESS: Like a fitness tracker no stranger to traditional forms of protest – she was
rescue injured pelicans. While such actions for generosity. Select how often out squatting at the age of three with her parents as
are certainly to be celebrated, the fact is you’d like to complete kind acts they fought to save social housing in her native
so many of our most vulnerable must now and the app will prompt you to Liverpool. “I’m a shy person. So much of protesting
rely on the kindness of strangers, without it keep you on track. involved screaming at people or politicians, telling
many in Australia would struggle to stay GIFT OF KINDNESS: Kill two them how awful they were. It didn’t agree with my
above the poverty line. birds with one stone by giving sensibilities,” she says. Instead, in 2008 she began
So while I may worry that my own acts to charity and buying gifts at the cross-stitching political messages and left her work
of kindness are simply that – individual acts same time. The app sends your in public places. From there, she started a blog
loved ones a message telling them
that don’t quite knit together into the before her sewing snowballed and landed her
a donation has been made in
warming blanket of being a “good person” their name while a tax-deductible a book deal for her debut novel, How To Be
– I also, genuinely, don’t care. Or don’t receipt lands in your inbox. A Craftivist: The Art Of Gentle Protest. An
care as much as I used to. As Morgan puts NOBLY: Like Facebook but Australian was one of the first to reach out to
it, “If kindness really is benefitting people, without those bullies you went to Corbett to learn more about how to protest “in an
does it deserve cynicism and derision?” school with. The social platform inclusive and productive way”, and now the
Does it serve anyone to question my is built by like-minded people concept is going global.
motives, study my Twitter feed for hypocrisy who want a space to create and “You could make a voodoo doll of Donald
or stroke their chin and smirk as I talk of interact with acts of kindness. Trump but that wouldn’t be kind or useful,” she says.
“trying my best”? Isn’t it good enough that FEEDSPIRE: The result of what “You have to use craft as a tool rather
I’m having a go? As a woman far wiser would happen should Pinterest than a taskmaster. My aim is for a more beautiful,
and Instagram quotes ever meet.
than me once said, you can’t do everything, kind, more just world; you don’t get that by
Feeling off-balance or just in need
but you should still try to do something. throwing eggs. Treat people how you want to
of a smile? This app is a one-stop
Even if it is just to apologise to Sam from shop for helping you relax, focus be treated and have those difficult conversations in
school for slagging off his jumper. and even sleep better. The guided safe spaces.” >
meditations are a must-try.
63
PEAK SOCIAL
MEDIA
BULLYING?
Instagram isn’t all flat-lays, avocado
McFerrin’s chilled ditty, “Don’t
Worry, Be Happy”, topped
the Billboard Hot 100 charts.
Now we’re all gripped with
behaviour” Rewind 30 years and Bobby ‘kill’, pretty heavy words, and had them
64
ALL HEART
According to Emojipedia, a database established by emoji
specialist Jeremy Burge in 2013, some of the most popular
icons include the red love heart, which symbolises love,
and “heart eyes”, used as an expression of love. Aussies also
use the winking face and thumbs up more than any other
market. And the most used emoji in Messenggger, a inn
to 2017 Facebook data, is the smiley face.
blocked. Bullying is something that has we’re doing, whether you’re a stud t,
existed for a lot of people for a long time a mother, juggling two jobs to pay for
and it’s something we take very, university... I think everyone should taake
very seriously and we’re not backing a moment to say, ‘We’re doing okay.’ Life
away from it.” is a work in progress and it’s really
As well as comment moderation and important to acknowledge that on
anonymous reporting of at-risk behaviour, Instagram, too.”
one initiative that’s having a positive impact Chen says this movement towards KINDNESS IS KING
is #KindComments, something launched a friendlier Instagram is also thanks WHEN IT COMES TO
during Pride Month and New York Fashion to a craving for authenticity. “The SEEKING OUT A MATE
Week in 2017. With the participation of influencers who are doing the best on – JUST ASK OUR
personalities like Jessica Alba, the concept Instagram are the ones who don’t just NEXT PRINCESS
is the sunnier version of Jimmy Kimmel’s show the glossy side of their lives, they’ll
famous “Mean Tweets” segment, where also talk about their health or what they’re Where were you on How To Make Roast
celebrities read out hurtful snipes made going through, how they’re feeling,” she Chicken Day? That’s November 27, 2017;
about them on social media. says. Designer and former reality-TV star the day Prince Harry – the world’s most
“What we’re doing is the opposite,” Whitney Port’s short video series, I Love eligible and awesome bachelor –
Chen says. “It is getting public figures My Baby, But…, has amassed a huge announced his engagement to actress,
to read kind comments about themselves following thanks to her candid manner activist and puppy rescuer Meghan Markle.
that fans have left and it’s been amazing. about topics including the impact the The pair, who decided to get married
We had Golden Barbie [model death of her father had on her and one night over a chicken dinner, were so
Jasmine Sanders] read comments and the anxiety she suffers when trying to giddy over each other during their first
they made her laugh and cry and it’s leave the house with her newborn son. interview together that the BBC should
nice to see that Instagram can be Her short clips are now among her most have issued a vertigo trigger warning,
a place for that warmth and sense of highly engaged posts published to her with Markle confessing: “I didn’t know
humanity. It’s also a way to remember 1.3 million followers. Gucci muse Harry much about him, so the only thing I had
there are people behind the Instagrams Styles is also doing his bit to make the asked her [their mutual friend] when she
and really put the focus on that person- virtual and real world a softer and gentler said she wanted to set us up was, ‘I have
to-person connection. There have been space. In 2017 he used his sold-out world one question, Well, is he nice?’ Because
a lot of tears. It’s been very emotional; tour to spread a message of positivity with if he wasn’t kind it just didn’t seem like it
as women we can be very hard on the slogan and hashtag “Treat People would make sense.”
ourselves. We don’t take the time in With Kindness” splashed across hoodies, Markle’s query chorused the 400,000
Words: Jenna Clarke. Illustration: Tanya Cooper at The Illustration Room
general to feel proud of our achievements, T-shirts and pins. singles surveyed by dating service Elite
whether it’s at work or at the gym . We’re “What’s happening in the world right Singles who responded that kindness is
our own worst enemies sometimes, so it now has definitely impacted Instagram the most valuable and most sought-after
has been amazing to see how touched behaviour in that there’s a lot of focus trait in searching for a long-term partner.
people are when they take the time to on empowerment, social issues and In the study, 82 per cent of women
reflect on themselves and take a second looking out for one another,” Chen says. rated kindness as extremely important,
to acknowledge the qualities their fans “I often comment on my followers’ while 70 per cent of the male respondents
and friends see in them.” posts when they mention me, I will pop also rated kindness as a deal breaker –
Adds Chen: “I have two kids and into their Instagrams if they tag me, I’ll beating out things like sexual attraction,
most days I feel like I’m barely holding it take a look and leave a comment. emotional connection and moral values.
all together. As women it’s important You want to have that ripple effect of Like Megs, we’ll take kindness over a future
to take a moment, acknowledge all warmth and love.” king any day. E
65
nulliparous
With a poet’s
touch, M.J. Reidy
has created
a thought-provoking
and potent
examination of
grief and longing.
Introducing the
winner of the
ELLE writing
competition
66
EL Lfiction
E
She sticks her one finger up at it and then laughs at her own silly She wonders where the kookaburra is. Imagines it is sitting on her
joke: giving the bird, the bird. window ledge, waiting, looking for an entry point – a drawing in of
*****
Recently, for shits and giggles, Frankie had programmed her
breath – into her dreams. She had been to an art gallery in Newtown
recently, an eclectic exhibition of expressive art. She had become
destination, Life without..., into her GPS. It rearranged the words (as if beguiled by an unusual piece. She peered at it: a woman dead on
it, too, could not make sense of her destiny) using predictive text – a beach, her blonde hair in cascading waves around her face,
declaring her arrival point: 18 Leichhardt Street, Balmain. She lips slightly parted. A serene, poetic look on her face. A seagull sitting
followed the woman’s robotic voice to a church with a playground in on her chest, eyes menacing, beak open, as if it were a conduit,
the front yard, where she caught a swing mid-air, still in motion. She speaking the girl’s last words. Frankie had thought of the kookaburra,
could still feel the wake of the two children on the swings, now wondered if it was some portent, some manifestation of her voice, the
being corralled out of the playground by their mother. She stared at words she cannot speak to friends, even to her mother.
the swing in her hand, feeling its bodily warmth. She sat on it and Nulliparous.
swung, thinking of the irony: predictive text could, in fact, predict her How it had surprised her, at how a word could sit broken,
fate. She scooped her legs high into the air, feeling the giddy loop in snagged, like a fishbone in the back of her throat.
her stomach. Everything though, was a reminder of what she didn’t The word echoes inside her head now, so loudly she feels she is
have and she stopped suddenly, digging her heels in, making small back in that empty room again, staring at the imprints of furniture. She
graves with her feet. The children and the parents and their popcorn picks the word apart, breaking each syllable up.
laughter trailing off down the street. Nulla, Nullarbor, terra nullius. She thinks back to her trip across
*****
Frankie sits in the cafe, waits for Amanda to arrive. The cafe, she
that desert by train, the only life she’d seen for miles were eagles
circling carcasses, their shadows boring holes into the earth.
observes, is just like every goddamned cafe in inner Sydney: hipsters Her thighs cry with sweat and the blood trickles down her leg. The
sitting on upturned milk crates, the backs of their thighs scored in some bedsheets twist around her like vines and she cries out as cracks
sort of caffeine-infused Asian cupping therapy. She glances at the fork out across the bed, splintering and growing like a tree. Her
couples and families, all sitting alongside each other at long hands grasp the sheets, but they disintegrate through her fingers,
benches, as if the gesture itself will infuse a sense of community. crumbling into dry, red earth.
Hopeless though, for their faces are stuck in the same small orbit, Nothing can grow here but grief.
circumnavigating only as far as their latte planets, iPhones looping
around their mugs like moons.
*****
She waters the grave each day. Today, in the lurid heat, the
She had sat in this very cafe months before it all began, the tests, the cockatoos look not like the Opera House but mohawked neo-Nazis,
hormones, the black bruises gathering on her upper thighs like storm the lorikeets a melting Ken Done. The kookaburra, as always, watching
clouds. Perusing the catalogues of men and their high-class sperm. The her with its militant scowl. Sometimes she throws things at it – a watering
ASX 500 sperm bank boasted Nobel Prize-winning donors, quality can against the fence. A child’s soccer ball that had somehow found its
sperm from the most educated men in the world: investment bankers way into her yard – she boots at its head. It flies off, a flurry of brown
from Japan who collected post-Modern art, American CEOs who and cream feathers as if it is a thing made of clay, risen from the earth.
built Ugandan orphanages in their spare time. But like buying a house Without it there, she bends down to the grave, studies her fingerprints
in Sydney, their sperm was out of Frankie’s league. still etched into the earth, weeds growing around it like clawing hands.
She chose another site, ordinary men with cheaper sperm. She She looks up and the kookaburra is back again, a low growl, a rumble
had decided upon specimen 156f: a fireman (he had once rescued of sound held in the back of its throat.
schoolchildren from a burning bus on Thanksgiving) who, judging Frankie stands up now, hands on hips. “Go on, laugh. I dare you.”
by his photo, seemed to have no hipster nor metrosexual tendencies It blinks. She picks up a soggy tennis ball and shotputs it at the fence.
at all. It was love at distant sight.
But it all seemed so simple back then. Her phone trills, waking her
*****
The news had come from an irritating woman, her blonde
up from her reverie: hair wound so tightly into a bun that it seemed to perform
“Sorry F. Charlotte held up at violin classes in Neutral. Lachlan has a miraculous facelift.
dance fusion at 2pm. Can’t make it. Another time? Ax” “I’m so sorry,” she said. “It’s the outcome no-one ever wants to
Frankie sighs, fumbles for her keys. She exists only in 30- to hear.” Frankie glances at a photo frame beside the woman’s desk,
40-minute windows her friends can allot her. She hates how she her two young daughters, hair in pigtails, blonde and lustrous as
acquiesces, how she squeezes herself into the thin spaces of their busy the von Trapps’.
lives. In between Hanna’s macramé making and Elijah’s new art class, Frankie stares out the window, trying to compose herself. She
where some New-Age art therapist is showing seven-year-olds how gazes out at the rooftops of buildings, pigeons milling around
to reconstruct “Blue Poles” from used Paddle Pop sticks. the windowsills in giddy circles. She can hear them through the
***** window, cooing in sympathetic tones.
Frankie wakes at 2am. She can see the mark on the sheets, “Do you want to take them home or would you like us to, er, dispose
the small rust-brown stain of her period. She looks into it as if it were of them?” The woman writes a note in her file, initials it, glances up at
a Rorschach inkblot, and the bloody stain rearranges itself: small nubs Frankie again. Frankie looks at the stack of files beside her own,
of fingers, toes, the curve of its spine. She cradles her head in her thinking of all those faceless women within them, and how they had
hands. The house is impossibly hot. She thinks of the half-opened readied themselves for the news. What, if anything, did they, could they
box, the cot lying against the wall, the clothes and bibs say? Did they cry, howl, crawl into the foetal position (oh the irony)?
embroidered with elephants; her imagined life lying parallel in the The woman clears her throat, places her glasses on the
room beside her own. desk. “Frankie?” >
67
“Sorry, what?” soul’s authentic self). It is the rhythmic motion of the broom, the colour
“The embryos. What would you like us to do with the unviable of the wet leaves, the stillness of her breath – all of it that for one
embryos?” She pushes a box of tissues into the middle of the desk, blissful moment makes her forget.
and Frankie stares at it for a while. It is not a box of tissues, Frankie But then.
decides, but a small wall between them. “Look, I realise you’re upset. The bird. That fucking bird, watching her from the mailbox. Every
Have you thought about some counselling?” so often it drops behind the fence, emerging with a grasshopper,
“What am I supposed to do with the embryos? Put them on a wall a worm, swiping its beak against the lid, thrashing it into a deathly
in a frame? Invite everyone round for a toast?” submission. It gulps its prey down, then angles its head, continuing
The woman blushes. “Well, some women decide to take them to stare Frankie down.
home, do something meaningful with them. You know, put them in Frankie has decided what she will do: she will not give into it,
pot plants.” not show the damn bird she is afraid. She recalls reading an
“Pot plants?” Frankie almost laughs. article in the local paper months ago, a story she had found
“Yes, pot plants. A garden. Something like that.” The woman loops strangely amusing, titled “Man Versus Wild: Scrub Turkey Takes
a stray lock of hair behind her ear, perfect once more. On Pensioner”. The story of a male scrub turkey who, day in,
“What, to feed the petunias? To fertilise the cactus?” day out, built its nest on the neat, manicured front lawn of an
“It could be a lovely memorial.” The woman smiles, a smile that elderly man. Each day the man knocked down its nest with a leaf
doesn’t quite reach her eyes. blower, and then awoke to find it rebuilt, a magnificent mound of
“Well, at least it would make something grow.” leaves, paper, scraps of bark.
The woman smiles glumly at Frankie, passes her a card with the But Frankie couldn’t recall how it ended, or more importantly
contact details of the lab, of how to arrange the “transfer”. Frankie who had won.
stands up to leave, shakes the woman’s hand. She stares into the kookaburra’s eyes. Its intentions were
She walks out to the waiting room to pay the bill. There is a woman different to the scrub turkey’s, far more sinister. The bird carried
sitting in the room, her belly so swollen she looks like she may go Snap, a sense of foreboding no doubt, the bearer of a message she could
Crackle, Pop! As the EFTPOS machine prints out her final receipt, not yet decipher.
Frankie observes her, trying not to stare. She watches her foot tapping Frankie turns her back on it, still feeling its gaze on her, walking
a beat on the lino floor, hand patting her belly in rhythm. Like she’s towards the house. She feels a sudden compulsion to check the grave,
humming a tune, a lullaby that only her and to make sure it’s safe.
her baby can hear. She can see the bare scorched
***** earth. The forget-me-nots coming to
Frankie’s job is at a funeral home, where
she compiles funeral presentations for the “What am life like the colours of a Jenny Kee.
She kneels down to look for signs
bereaved. Death, literally, by PowerPoint.
When she returns to work after the news, I supposed of life sprouting, a green bud,
a shoot of grass.
she spends the morning not uploading
Alfred Jones’ family photos (and, as to do with Nothing but weeds.
With the watering can she
requested, Photoshopping grins onto every
family member’s face, regardless of the
occasion) but staring into her cup of coffee,
the embryos? sprinkles the soil, tenderly pressing
the earth, ensuring the grave is
entombed. And there on the
watching a fly drowning in it.
Put them back fence she sees it –
on a wall
Her boss calls her into his office, tells her its dark tunnelling eyes, its
to take a fortnight off. “However long you penetrating glare.
need. Get some sunshine. Rest.” “Oooh-ahhh, oooh-ahhh.”
At home, she spends her mornings
doing her own Photoshopping, drawing
frowns onto every photo of herself from
a recent trip to Bali. A cocktail in hand,
in a frame?” Frankie looks up at it, startled.
Wishes she knew the language,
the words held in its deep,
haunting call.
floating in a jelly bean-shaped pool, “Oooh-ahhh,” it chides again,
forlorn as fuck. She notices the light growing thin and grim in the as if Frankie has committed a crime, as if it knows what lies
mornings, winter’s creeping chill at her calves. She takes pleasure beneath the soil.
from strange, small things: a loose thread on her skirt that she Frankie cries out, staring down at the grave, her vision
breaks off, marvelling at how she can stop the unravelling of something obscured with tears, the yard now a swirling, brackish ocean.
with a brutal, quick rip. Whirling, gurgling grief and mess. She stands up, lobs the
Apart from these small pleasures, her time off work is a slow, watering can at it, letting out a primal grunt. The kookaburra
torturous sort of hell. Whatever she does, wherever she goes, the wheels up and into the air, the can hitting the fence with a dull
kookaburra watches her still. thwack. The bird flies up to the bough of the blackbutt and then
*****
Frankie sweeps the path, back and forth – she hasn’t felt this
back to the fence again – resuming its position, watching her and
the grave – again.
fricking zen since week 10 of her yoga meditation class (the Frankie runs inside the house. Knows exactly what she must do.
breakthrough week, the instructor called it, getting in touch with your *****
68
EL Lfiction
E
Frankie gathers it all up. The cot. The bibs. The clothes. The glory She looks up at the tree, considers it. She had not climbed a tree
box she has kept for 15 years, filled with hand puppets of possums and since she was a child but up she goes, labouring through it, thighs
echidnas, tiny trinket boxes to hold baby’s first teeth. She piles it all into scratched and splintered with bark. As she stops to catch her
the middle of the yard, the kookaburra watching intently. breath, she sees the page – a page from the fairytale book, its edges
She will burn it all and smoke the goddamned bird out. blackened, crisp. She squints.
She walks a wide perimeter around the pile, dousing it in metho. What did it say?
Flicks the match and casts it out, fanning her eyes against the sudden, Legs monkey-gripping the bough, she leans her full weight across
scorching heat. The heat and smoke, the snow-like ash, the sickly smell the branch, reaching out towards it. Swings, misses. Tries again. But in
of plastic – all of it makes her cry. her fevered desperation, she overbalances, almost topples from the
She watches the flames leaping and licking the sky. The fence line tree. She clings to the bough, looking down at how far she could fall and
buckles and sways, the sky wobbling in the heat. Frankie is mesmerised then she sees it, a dark hollow in the tree. A flash of movement within.
by the fire, and for a moment she is taken back to being a child, to The bird.
those moments when she’d stared into an object, a blank space on She strains to see it, small and huddled in the hole. Still, except for
a wall, looking but not really seeing it at all. Blissfully abandoning the a shiver rippling through its wing. She edges closer, peers down.
compulsion to make sense of its purpose or shape. Frankie feels a voyeuristic thrill, for she is now above it, all-knowing,
As she watches she is no longer woman nor flesh nor bone: she is all-seeing, after all these weeks of being watched and judged. The
the elusive blue underbelly of a flame; the whispering roar of a fire; an kookaburra looks fragile, small – the way its head sinks into its
ember leaping skyward, a hurtling star through space. feathered body, as if it could collapse on itself and become
The flames flag a little, and she feels a butterflying panic – it must all feather, earth, dust.
be destroyed, burnt to ash and cinder. She feeds the fire with the only The kookaburra senses her and cranes its neck up, clacking its
thing left – a book of fairytales her mother had read to her when she beak open, shut. Frankie panics, hugging the tree tight, convinced the
was a child, that she’d imagined reading to her own one day. bird will attack her, its beak bloodying her hands and face. But it fans
She feeds the fire with the pages of Rapunzel and Hansel And its wings out and hunkers down over its nest.
Gretel, watching intently as Cinderella’s glass coach and coat-tailed Life squirming beneath it for sure.
footmen turn to ash and float away. She pulls her phone from her pocket, lowers it down into the hollow.
She stokes the fire, dances on her tippy-toes, straining to see the It lights up the bird’s home with an eerie blue light, like the special
back fence through the smoke. And the kookaburra? effects from a B-grade horror movie.
Gone. She can see the nest, a braid of twigs and bark and feathery scraps.
*****
The following morning Frankie wakes late. Sweat-slicked and
Frankie lowers the phone down further, edging closer, but the bird
swipes its beak at her and jumps to its feet. It cowers against the wall
panicked – is she running late for something? A bus, work, a catch-up of the hollow, the nest exposed.
coffee across town with a friend? But there is nothing, for it’s Sunday Frankie can almost make it out – imagines the tiny chicks, their
and she can sleep all day, watch re-runs of that God-awful show My eyes and beaks wide with need, as if all the food in the world will
Kitchen Rules and their bitchy, squabbling contestants. The only thing never fill them up. She looks down, can see the puckered pink of their
she liked about the show was that it made her feel insanely hungry – skin. Is it skin?
and rebelling against the show’s gourmet slant, she orders a greasy Frankie almost drops the phone into the nest, reels her hand back in
burger from the corner store, the salad so unnaturally pale, Frankie shock. There is no skin nor eyes nor gaping mouth – just the tender
wonders if it could actually be air. fleshy pink of three rosebuds, shaped like tiny eggs.
It is while she is considering this that Frankie thinks about the bird. She shakes her head. The silly, stupid thing. How could the bird
She stands up, her guts churning. She opens the back door and stares mistake these things for eggs, for living, breathing things? She peers
out at the pile of ashes, the blackened pages, the posts of the cot-like down, can see the scattered fragments of shell, eggs broken in the nest.
skeletal hands. She looks from the fence to the blackbutt, shields her Frankie tries to piece the narrative together. Perhaps the chicks had
eyes against the glare of the shed roof. perished, and in the bird’s desperate attempts to fill the space of its
The bird is nowhere in sight. still-warm nest, it had plucked three rosebuds from a neighbouring
Still in her bed socks, she skates to the front of the house, with yard, replacing the faces of her long-lost chicks.
a lightness she has not felt in weeks. She peers through the blinds, The kookaburra tilts its head at her, blinks. It gazes at its nest of
gazing out at the letterbox, the powerlines, the hedges, the fence. motionless pink babes, waiting to blossom, waiting to be fed.
Gone. “It’s not...” Words start, stop, snagged in her throat. “They’re not...”
Photography: Kalle Gustafsson/Trunk Archive/Snapper Media
She fist-pumps the air, wanders back to the TV. But after the greasy Frankie looks at the bird, reaches her hand down to gather the
burger she feels a little sick. She opens a bottle – a glass of champagne rosebuds up, a sudden compulsion to throw them from the nest.
and some sunshine will help her digestion, she’s sure of it. But she cannot. And for a while she just sits there, suspended in the
She wanders out into the yard, the light so dazzling she can bough – staring at the nest, the bird huddled in the dark. She watches
barely see. Then she sees something out of the corner of her eye, as the sun sinks in the sky, the rooftops’ jagged teeth eating the light up.
a page caught in the branches of the blackbutt, flapping about like She watches the shapes of things, the suburban skyline, the houses and
an injured bird. trees congealing and hardening around her like dried blood.
Frankie thinks back to that Saturday when she’d followed the GPS She glances up at the page in the tree that she will never reach,
to her destiny – to the empty swing, the children, their laughter trailing the words probably erased by the fire. Her eyes drift from the
down the street. She stares up at the page and wonders if it is some hollow to across the yard – to the grave and its forget-me-nots, forging
sign, some indication of her fate. up and up. E
69
PERSPECTIVE:
CIA in Iraq and once lived operates a Neutral Buoyancy Laboratory (NBL) at the Sonny
Carter Training Facility in Houston, Texas; it’s a huge pool that’s
19m underwater. But in 12m deep, 31m wide and 62m long. There are mock-ups of the
2018, NASA’s Dr Jeanette Internationa
Epps, 47, will undergo her the spacewalk suit, which weighs about 140kg, and then they
lower us into the water to simulate what it will be like in space by
most ambitious mission yet: making us neutrally buoyant, so we neither sink nor float.
spending six months in space We can be training underwater for six hours, which is pretty
draining. At some point, you start feeling the weight of the suit. It’s
also mentally exhausting, because you have to figure out how to
“
make the suit work. When you spacewalk, you don’t actually
BEING AN ASTRONAUT IS ONE OF THOSE JOBS use your legs very much – you mainly use your upper body, so
WHERE YOU’RE GUARANTEED PERSPECTIVE IN you need to be able to operate tools and work wearing gloves,
LIFE. As we take off, I imagine I’ll be thinking about the newness which feel like oven mitts. If something breaks while I’m on the ISS,
of all the sounds and sights. I’ve spoken to a lot of fellow I might have to do a spacewalk to fix it. I’ll be one of the flight
astronauts about what it’s like going into space; I remember engineers, so my main duties will be conducting science
NASA’s Gregory Chamitoff describing what it felt like to spacewalk. experiments and maintaining the ISS systems.
He said he remembered being surrounded by the deepest As a child, I wanted to go into aerospace engineering and work
black you can think of. I’ve always had strange dreams of being for NASA, but I never thought I’d be selected as an astronaut.
in nothingness, just floating in complete darkness or going through Growing up in Syracuse, New York, my twin sister Janet and I were
the matrix. Soon, it will no longer be a dream. always interested in science and maths. We were the youngest
70
“SEXISM
of seven children; my mother Luberta, who worked AND RACISM to when I had seen him the
as a key punch operator for a local computer
company, was very protective of us and always ARE ALWAYS previous week. He showed
me the rounds that had struck
stressed how important education was.
When we were nine years old, my older brother PRESENT his body armour that day. He
was just sitting there thinking
Michael came home from university and saw our
school grades on our report cards. I remember – I’VE HAD about how he was nearly
killed. Seeing him and
being surprised by how proud he was. He said we
could become scientists, aerospace engineers or SOME PRETTY realising that our wars are
fought by people’s children,
even astronauts. At the time, Sally Ride, who would
become the first American woman in space, had just NEGATIVE people’s husbands and wives,
had a real impact on me.
been selected by NASA. I guess his encouragement
planted a seed in my mind. EXPERIENCES I constantly think about
work, but when I get home
I decided I wanted to study engineering when
I was 16. I was doing an internship in pathology at IN MY CAREER” I like to have a domestic
life. Once a month, I’ll go out
the State University of New York Health Science to a happy hour, just chat with
Center to figure out what it was I wanted to do. The friends and try not to talk
only reason I didn’t continue down that path was because one of about work. I don’t have any kids and I’m one of those people who
the doctors invited me into the autopsy room. When he started seems to always have a boyfriend or something romantic going on.
taking out the intestines, it was the worst thing I’d ever seen, and I don’t know if men are intimidated, but it’s hard to keep a relationship
I knew I would be more suited to engineering. As a graduate student going when I’m preoccupied with work.
at the University of Maryland with my sister Janet, I worked all the I’ll be one of six living on the ISS and the only woman. I’m not too
time. My adviser always told a story about how he had been out of worried about that, though. I completed the underwater NASA
town and stopped by the lab late on Sunday evening, and Janet Extreme Environment Mission Operations (NEEMO), which places
(who later went into genetics) and I were there collecting data. We trained astronauts in an underwater laboratory off the coast of
worked constantly, but we didn’t think it was strange; we thought it Florida for up to three weeks. I was the only female out of six
was a good way to spend our time. After grad school, I went to people and we had close quarters, sleeping in bunks. When
work at Ford Motor Company in its scientific research laboratory as you’re living 19m underwater, your blood becomes saturated with
a technical specialist. nitrogen, so it’s one of the closest equivalents to space; you can’t
Sexism and racism are always present, and I’ve had some pretty just get up and leave. You have to do a 17-hour acclimatisation to
negative experiences, both at university and in my career. One of purge the nitrogen out of your blood, otherwise it can be dangerous.
the questions young women often ask me is whether I’ve had any NEEMO was one of my favourite training exercises. It was tough,
problems being a black woman working in engineering. I always but it was so much fun living and working underwater.
tell them I have no problem with it, but other people may have and The spacesuits look strange from the outside because they
that’s their problem. If I make it mine, it stops me from moving appear as though you’re squashed in, but they’re more comfortable
forward. The intention [of their negativity] is to stop you from than they look. We’re allowed to pick some of the clothes that
progressing and limit your creative thinking. will be shipped up to the ISS before we arrive. There are polo
In 2003, I went to Iraq as a technical operations officer with shirts, cargo pants and a couple of uniforms, some of which have
the CIA to look for weapons of mass destruction. As a lab geek, velcro on them so you can attach tools for when you’re going
making the decision to go to Iraq was daunting, but I told myself, about the space station doing maintenance work. We also get to
“I have to do this.” I had to do something different and gain a new choose home comforts to take. I love woolly sweaters, so I’ll pick
perspective. I was there for four months and it was an amazing, some of my own; I like that they make it relatively comfortable and
As told to: Hannah Nathanson. Photography: Courtesy of NASA
life-changing experience, but it’s not for everyone. As a scientist, you can make the ISS your home.
I’d spent most of my time doing design work and trying to create I’m healthier and stronger now than I was when I was 20. On the
things, so going to Iraq, helping to solve a national issue and ISS, they have an exercise device that helps load your bones so
really getting a sense of what was happening, fuelled my desire you don’t lose any density; there’s also a bicycle and treadmill. I’m
to know and to understand. not a long-distance runner, but I do like putting on my headphones,
I get very excited when I think about being up in space, partly going for a run and forgetting about the world. There will be iPads
because I compare it to going into a war zone. Both are very and laptops up there so we can watch movies while we run.
dangerous but, for me, it’s a no-brainer: I would rather face the When people come back from space, I see how much
dangers in space than go back to a war zone. I’ll never forget they want to go again. I suspect I will be one of those people.
the night when we were in the airport in Iraq and a young man I would find myself at the back of the queue, but it’s worth the
”
had just come back from a convoy; he looked totally different wait – or at least that’s what I think I’ll come back saying.
71
L
.
E
TI U .
E
OUR
N
E R
PH OT OG RAPH Y BY
SI M O N U P T O N
S T Y L I N G BY
RA C H E L W A Y M A N
FROM LEFT Rose wears: dress, $1,650, PAUL SMITH,
(02) 9331 8222; earrings, $195, MY ISLAND
HOME, myislandhome.com.au; necklace, $650,
LUCY FOLK, lucyfolk.com; (from left) ring, $725,
FIORINA JEWELLERY, fiorinajewellery.com.au; ring,
$360, JAMES & IRISA, jamesandirisa.com.au;
ring, $220, COMPANY OF STRANGERS,
companyofstrangers.co.nz (all jewellery worn throughout)
Dillon wears: dress, $89.95, ZARA, (02) 9376 7600;
hat, $1,629, GUCCI, gucci.com/au; earrings, $650,
FIORINA JEWELLERY, fiorinajewellery.com.au
(worn throughout); bag, $99, KAWAIIAN LION,
kawaiianlion.com
Cooper wears: shirt, jeans, both model’s own
V E FROM CENTRE Jimmy wears: shirt, $79.95, INSIGHT,
generalpants.com.au (worn throughout); shorts, $69.95,
STÜSSY, generalpants.com.au; sandals, $154,
BIRKENSTOCK, birkenstockbondibeach.com.au
(worn throughout); necklace, $45, MY ISLAND
HOME, myislandhome.com.au
Fergus wears: shirt, $79.95, INSIGHT, generalpants.com.au;
shorts, $69.95, STÜSSY, generalpants.com.au; sandals, $143,
BIRKENSTOCK, birkenstockbondibeach.com.au
Matilda wears: top, $1,345, pants, $1,195, both MARNI,
(02) 9327 3809; sandals, $143, BIRKENSTOCK,
birkenstockbondibeach.com.au; (from left) earrings, $275, ALEX
MONROE, (03) 5962 5535; earrings, $14.99, H&M,
hm.com/au; tan bracelet, $428, FIORINA JEWELLERY,
fiorinajewellery.com.au; black bracelet, $79, blue bracelet,
$59, both THOMAS SABO, thomassabo.com; ring, $457, ALEX
MONROE, (03) 5962 5535 (all jewellery worn throughout)
Juay wears: shirt, $29.99, H&M, hm.com/au; shorts,
$99.95, KSUBI, generalpants.com.au (both worn throughout)
FROM LEFT Juay wears: shirt, $49.95, ZARA,
(02) 9376 7600; shorts, $690, GUCCI, gucci.com/au
(worn throughout); sandals, $143, BIRKENSTOCK,
birkenstockbondibeach.com.au
Matilda wears: jacket, $3,625, T-shirt, $605, belt, $905,
all GUCCI, gucci.com/au; pants, $550, ROMANCE
WAS BORN, romancewasborn.com; sandals, $1,150,
LOUIS VUITTON, au.louisvuitton.com (worn throughout);
(from left) ring, $525, FIORINA JEWELLERY,
fiorinajewellery.com.au; ring, $279, ALEX MONROE,
(03) 5962 5535 (both rings worn throughout)
Fergus wears: shirt, $960, GUCCI, gucci.com/au;
pants, $1,310, PRADA, (02) 9223 1688 (both
worn throughout); hat, stylist’s own
76
Dress, $5,000, CÉLINE, (02) 9232 7051;
earrings, $21, NEXT, next.com.au; pastel
chain necklace, $145, LUCY FOLK,
lucyfolk.com; silver necklace, $18, NEXT,
next.com.au; orange crystal necklace,
$7.99, H&M, hm.com/au; shell
necklace, $55, MY ISLAND HOME,
myislandhome.com.au; on model’s left
hand: ring, $28, HUNTER GATHERER,
huntergatherer.bigcartel.com; on
model’s right hand: ring, $25, HUNTER
GATHERER, huntergatherer.bigcartel.com
(all jewellery worn throughout)
FROM LEFT Juay wears: shirt, $680,
GUCC ucci.com/au; sandals, $154,
BIRKENSTOCK, birkenstockbondibeach.com.au;
necklace, model’s own
Matilda wears: , $1,075, MARNI,
(02) 9327 3809; pants, $795, MOTHER
OF PEARL, parlourx.com; earrings, $229,
JIMENA ALEJANDRA, enaale dra.com
(worn throughout); bag, $19, CALL ME THE
BREEZE, callmethebreeze.com.au
Dress, $4,700, CHRISTIAN DIOR,
(02) 9229 4600
79
80
FROM LEFT Jimmy wears: jacket,
$3,610, pants (worn throughout),
$1,310, both PRADA,
(02) 9223 1688
Matilda wears: dress, $895,
KITX, kitx.com.au; top, $139,
ZARA, (02) 9376 7600
s 590, ROMANCE WAS BORN,
romancewasborn.com
Blouse, $459, LEE MATHEWS,
leemathews.com.au; stud earrings,
$12.99, H&M, hm.com/au
(both worn throughout)
Dress, $895, ZIMMERMANN,
zimmermannwear.com; belt, $99, THE
TOUCAN SHOP, thetoucanshop.com;
on model’s left hand: ring, $360,
JAMES & IRISA, jamesandirisa.com.au
(worn throughout)
84
Rose wears: playsuit, $2,330,
MIU MIU, (02) 9223 1688
86
FROM LEFT Rose wears: dress, $750,
SHE MADE ME, shemademe.com.au
Matilda wears: dress, $799,
HANSEN & GRETEL, hansenandgretel.com;
earrings, $195, MY ISLAND HOME,
myislandhome.com.au (worn throughout)
Crochet top, $189, HANSEN
& GRETEL, hansenandgretel.com;
blouse, $550, ZIMMERMANN,
zimmermannwear.com; necklace,
$14.99, H&M, hm.com/au
88
Shirt, $89.95, STÜSSY,
generalpants.com.au; bikini
top, $140, briefs, $130,
both ZIMMERMANN,
zimmermannwear.com; sandals,
$143, BIRKENSTOCK,
birkenstockbondibeach.com.au
(all worn throughout)
hanging (on couch), $599, Julie Nicholson, julienicholson.com.au
Wall hanging, $980, Kawaiian Lion, kawaiianlion.com; wall
Dress, $799, TRELISE COOPER,
trelisecooperonline.com; sandals,
$143, BIRKENSTOCK,
birkenstockbondibeach.com.au
90
FROM LEFT Rose wears: cami, $299,
PAIGE, (02) 8987 3400; blouse, $430,
JUPE BY JACKIE, Playa By Lucy Folk,
(02) 9130 3666; dress, $325, WYNN
HAMLYN, wynnhamlyn.com; necklace,
$14.99, H&M, hm.com/au
(worn throughout)
Matilda wears: crochet top, $895, KITX,
kitx.com.au; dress, $229, COOPER,
trelisecooperonline.com
FROM SECOND LEFT Cooper wears:
jeans, ring, both model’s own
Dillon wears: top, $350, pants, $395,
both ZIMMERMANN, zimmermannwear.com;
belt, $299, IRO, (02) 9362 1165; stud
earring, model’s own
Rose wears: shirt, $415, EQUIPMENT,
edwardsimports.com; skirt, $369, HANSEN
& GRETEL, hansenandgretel.com
92
Dress, $79.99, H&M,
hm.com/au; hat, $1,629,
GUCCI, gucci.com/au
Matilda wears: top, $POA, pants,
$POA, both ACNE STUDIOS,
(02) 9360 0294; stud earring,
model’s own; bracelet, $328,
FIORINA JEWELLERY,
fiorinajewellery.com.au
94
Dress, $699, LEE MATHEWS,
leemathews.com.au; bodysuit,
$120, KEEPSAKE THE LABEL,
fashionbunker.com
96
Rose wears: top,
$1,250, ZIMMERMANN,
zimmermannwear.com;
pants, $56, NASTY GAL,
nastygal.com/au
HERE
COMES
THE SUN
LET THE NOSTALGIC PRINTSS,
EMBROIDERY AND
CROCHET OF THE ’70S Ea
arrings, $40,
MY SLAND HOME,
Y IS
BE THE BASIS OF YOUR myislandhome.com.au
SUMMER VIBE, THEN
PUNCTUATE WITH
CAMPING-INCLINED
ACCESSORIES FOR AN Top, $70, THE HIDDEN WAY,
ADVENTURE-READY LOOK. surfstitch.com
Necklace, $40,
MY ISLAND HOME,
myislandhome.com.au
Necklace, $467, ALEX MONROE,
(03) 5962 5535
Sandals, $99.95,
TEVA, au.teva.com Shirt, $179,
DOUBLE RAINBOUU,
doublerainbouu.com
MIXX IT UP
Once you’ve convinced
Dress, $120, ASOS, him to wwear a short-
asos.com/au
sleeved holiday shirt,
start your next battle:
mismatcched printed
shorts. Theen pinch both
for yyourself.
S
Shirt, $89.95, STÜSSY,
sccalloped edges and generalpants.com.au
Production; Pablo Martin (still-life). Styling: Samantha Wong
LIZ COLLINS
STYLING BY
ANNE-MARIE CURTIS
“Everyone asked
change, and she was terrified. This was, after had gone to boarding
all, her first big-screen role. In restaurants, she school and it sounded like
scrutinised waiters to see if they were being too fun. “I was such a grumpy
nice to her; she wondered if she’d ever be able
to use public transport again. On holiday, her me, A‘ re you child,” says Ridley, smiling at
the implication that she can
friends started calling her Linda, “as a jokey
alias”, she says, “and then they started calling ready for still, now and then, throw
a big wobbler. “I used to get
me Paranoid Linda” when she became
convinced a man was following them around
your life to super-distracted – once I’d
done my work, I would be
and wondered if he was a private detective
employed by the studio.
Two years later, 25-year-old Ridley is sitting change?’ And annoying to everyone else
– and my mum thought if
I was busy, I’d be less
opposite me at a restaurant in downtown
Manhattan, dressed in a shirt and capri pants that gets into distracting. I always sort of
felt like I didn’t fit in.” This
in clashing blue-and-white prints, her hair still
wet from the shower. She’s brimming with the
kind of enthusiasm that reads on screen
your mind” anxiety wasn’t just a result of
being a bookish teenager,
but a feeling of unreadiness
as charisma, and that helps to explain her to go out and meet the world
meteoric rise from stage-school graduate with a few TV credits to her name to one as an adult. “At 12 or 13, I didn’t know how to do
of the most recognisable young stars on the planet. Paranoid Linda still makes an makeup,” she says, “and I still don’t know how to
occasional appearance, she says, but mostly she has managed to adjust to life do my hair. And people wore high heels at that age!”
after two Star Wars movies. Even now, Ridley retains some small sense of
Ridley clings to the fact that fame doesn’t need to have a warping effect. It also fits herself as an outsider looking in. How could she not?
in with her belief that the best way to survive the pressures of high-voltage exposure is Her CV at this point is extraordinary: as well as Star
to try enjoying it. Everything is “amazing” in her world and everyone is “remarkable”, Wars, the actress has starred in Ophelia opposite
ranging from her mum (“a great person”) to Barbra Streisand, with whom she recorded Naomi Watts, and shot Murder On The Orient
a song in 2016 (“a fantastic woman”), Harrison Ford (“awesome”) and “Colly” – Olivia Express alongside Judi Dench, Penélope Cruz, Sir
Colman to you and me – who she starred with in Kenneth Branagh’s Murder On The Derek Jacobi and Olivia Colman. It was on that last
Orient Express and who she found “incredible”, naturally. There’s no hint of sycophancy set that Ridley finally cracked. “I turned to Ken
here; it appears that Ridley is simply joyfully happy. [Kenneth Branagh], wiped away a tear and said,
This cheerfulness has acted as a useful screen to hide behind during the years since ‘I can’t believe I’m here, thank you so much.’”
she made Star Wars. Now her character, Rey, is back for The Last Jedi, the new Star Ridley adds, only half-jokingly: “‘Did someone
Wars movie, directed by Rian Johnson. But Ridley felt the pressure much more with this make you cast me?’” (No, he said.)
one than the first movie. “I suddenly felt a much bigger sense of responsibility,” she The self-deprecation is real. It’s not just the
explains. “I didn’t think I was good in the first film, and I was struggling with that.” burden of fame or lame faux humility. There have
This is no humble brag. Ridley’s candour when it comes to her own performance is been times in Ridley’s life, most notably after the
kind of startling. As a child, her general inability to disguise her feelings occasionally first Star Wars movie was released, when she was
sent her into scatterbrained overdrive, an impulse that was, and still is, grounded by her literally uncomfortable in her own skin. At 15, she
loving London-based family: Mum, who works in internal communications, Dad, who’s was diagnosed with endometriosis, a painful
a retired photographer, and two sisters – a model and a musician. Ridley sometimes condition in which the tissue that normally lines the
reads as posh – there’s a certain ringing tone to her accent. In fact, she says, her family uterus grows in other locations. Along with other
is more bohemian than posh. The accent, meanwhile, probably comes from boarding symptoms, it can result in severe acne that is
school. Aged eight, Ridley went to board at Tring Park School For The Performing Arts in exacerbated by stress. You know, the kind of stress
Hertfordshire, UK – not, she says, from any desire to be an actor, but because a friend that comes when you find yourself the star of one of
the highest-grossing films of all time. “I was in my flat
going nuts, and then my skin got really bad with the stress of it all, and I hadn’t been well
– I had holes in my gut wall and stuff – and we were trying to figure out what to do with
that because I’d felt poorly.” She did what she always does in times of stress and turned
to her family, moving first to her sister’s house, a few streets from their parents, then to an
apartment she rented on her own in the same west London neighbourhood.
Still, says Ridley, it was scary. It’s difficult to think of a more intense introduction to
Hollywood than winning a big role in a new Star Wars movie, nor a bigger professional
leap than Ridley’s jump from small parts in the usual roster of TV dramas and long-
running soaps – the UK’s Casualty, Silent Witness, Mr Selfridge – to the first day of
filming The Force Awakens in Abu Dhabi. She had only turned up to the audition when
a friend mentioned she was going, too, and now here she was, on day one of the shoot,
with a production assistant holding an umbrella over her to keep the sun off while she
looked around and “freaked out”. And then JJ Abrams, the director, yelled “action”. >
102
Dress, $4,345, ERDEM,
erdem.com; earrings,
$POA, MAISON
MARGIELA,
maisonmargiela.com
Top, $3,824, ISABEL
MARANT, isabelmarant.com
“I felt a much
bigger sense
of responsibility
[with The Last
Jedi]. I didn’t
think I was
good in the
first film, and
I was struggling
with that”
Dress, $13,510, GUCCI,
gucci.com/au; earrings,
$40,654, REPOSSI,
repossi.com; (from left) ring,
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CHANEL, 1300 242 635
105
Ridley will never forget that first scene, in which she had to dismount from her Speeder Bike and
walk a short distance with BB-8 while saying something like, “We’re going to get you home.” Is it
true that, after delivering her line, Abrams called her acting “wooden”? Ridley laughs. “It is true!
After the first take, he goes, ‘Just a bit... wooden,’ and then we carried on. But JJ is the kind of
person who before a scene says, ‘Don’t fuck it up.’ So he said, ‘Just a bit wooden,’ and I was like,
‘Oh my God.’ But it got better.” She is still laughing at the discrepancy between how bad it sounds
(quite bad) and how bad it was. “It’s only because that word ‘wooden’ is so loaded. But it was just
tense. And I thought, ‘Okay, loosen that shit right up and it’ll get better.’”
In fact, Ridley found Abrams and
the rest of the production crew to be
“Carrie Fisher
incredibly nurturing, to the extent that
she was rarely aware of the Star Wars
106
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(03) 8614 1190; earrings,
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heels, $POA, JIMMY CHOO,
jimmychoo.com; earrings,
$POA, CHOPARD, chopard.com
(worn throughout)
108
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DIOR, (02) 9229 4600
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“NATURAL” has been on an
au-naturel beauty
HAIR journey since
discovering she had KISS, KISS,
COLOUR polycystic ovary
syndrome. She tests
the latest salon
BANG,
version of more
natural pro colour
BANG
Shu Uemura’s updated range of lippies
includes four “mixers”, which you can
WHAT IT IS: Australian brand Original & use to tweak the tone of your favourite
Mineral first launched its ammonia-free hair shade to make it all brand new. Purple
colour nearly 20 years ago. Its next-gen version deepens, Yellow brightens, while Pearl
is free of paraphenylenediamine and resorcinol and Glitter pretty up the finish of your
(a response to what they say are increasing rates standard matte. Options, meet endless.
of chemical sensitivity), comes in more than Rouge Unlimited in Purple, Glitter and Yellow,
$45 each, SHU UEMURA, 1300 651 991
100 different colours, is extra hydrating and
conditioning (thanks to an oil blend that
includes coconut and macadamia) and
capable of covering up pesky greys.
WHAT IT FEELS LIKE: “Not a lot – and that’s HAPPINESS
a compliment. There was no noticeable chemical
smell, which I’ve come to expect from hair colour, IN A JAR,
and no irritation to my scalp, skin or eyes.”
THE VERDICT: “I’d do it again. My greys OR A TUBE,
were covered perfectly and the colour has
a lovely natural tone. The biggest change was OR A
in how soft and healthy it made my hair. I’ve
had compliments about how shiny it is more
than people asking what I’ve done to my hair,
BANANA
FUN BUYS THAT WILL LIGHTEN UP
so I think that’s a positive.” A FLAT DAY FOR POCKET CHANGE
VLON, priceline CØR.Color, from $80, ORIGINAL & MINERAL, 1. Send Nudes Lip & Cheek Tint, $11.95,
, RE .co
4.95 m. 1300 724 635
FRANK BODY, frankbody.com/au
1 a
$
52, CHAN
en, $
THIS VS THAT er
S cre EL,
1
choice and apply this blush-perfect
shade instead.
30
v
Sil
02
42 6
COVERGIRL, priceline.com.au
eE
OF THE BRONZE
35
m
yC
rSta a regular wand, the other a teasing
Colo (CREAM EYESHADOWS...
m
1.
Pat on with the included brush NEED TO Use as a base to bump up
for richer colour pay-off. KNOW powder eyeshadows.
112
3.
b
w
ty
“Mandy and I have a small prepared with texturising MUJI, muji.com/au; Snagless Ela
obsession with this velvet bow. products of different weights Black, $6.98 for pack, LADY JAYNE,
We’ve done three different for all kinds of hair.” ladyjayne.com.au
versions of it on the red carpet. 8. Dry Finish Working Texture Spray,
It’s so feminine, beautiful, $18, KRISTIN ESS, kristinesshair.com “It’s important I have a flyaway
IN MY KIT: simple and original.” comb or toothbrush to make
6. Black Velvet Bow Barrette, $150, “I always have this paste on sure any baby hairs around
Hairstylist JENNIFER BEHR, desordrestore.com hand for emergency flyaways, the hairline can be lightly
Ashley “This is the best building
to tame a cowlick or to give
short hair texture.”
sprayed and brushed down.”
looks after so gives a soft look, and the FUKO, 1300 764 437 14. Gold Medium Styling Comb,
Mandy Moore 7. This Is A Medium Hairspray, containers for all my products, janeke.com.au
from her $35.95, DAVINES, (07) 3850 6200 tools and pins – separated
into brunettes and blondes.”
Beverly Hills “My clients always want to 10. Large Metallic Double Bar
essentials 12.
“I prefer to be barefoot
13.
when I work. And jobs for the
red carpet always tend to
be quick. I’m not a huge 4.
9.
snacker, but if I work with
my sister [Jenn, a makeup 15.
Words: Amy Starr; Sara McLean. Photography: Olivia Malone/Trunk Archive/Snapper Media;
3.
artist], she’s always fully
stocked with all the essentials, 6.
14.
including these curiously strong
5.
mints that I eat like candy.” 10.
2. Peppermint Tin, $3.99, ALTOIDS,
usafoods.com.au 3. Bobby Pins in
Blonde, Black and Brown, $3.29 per
Sevak Babakhani and Chris Jansen (still-life); Bonnie Tsang
11.
pack, LADY JAYNE, ladyjayne.com.au
4. Portable Case, $1.95, MUJI,
muji.com/au
WITH thre
for
(both the lobes and even inside $6
,
Words: Amy Starr; Sara McLean. Photography: Sevak Babakhani (still-life); Jason Lloyd-Evans. Styling:
the ear), the back of the neck,
ar
pb
BROW Dannielle Cartisano. Hair: Keiren Street at Vivien’s Creative. Model: Azlin Esqueda at Chadwick
Soa
LIEN DAVIES
“I use Pears soap as a substitute for a clear brow gel.
It outperforms the most expensive gels with its flake-free, strong
s
hold. Think of it like a push-up bra for your brows – instea ad of
having hairs layering on top of each other, which can ma ake
them look thin and shapeless, soap separates and maxim mises
1. Sensitive Sunscreen Lotion SPFF 50+,
the length of each hair to give the illusion of thicker, feathery
$27.95, WE ARE FEEL GOOD INC, brows. Just spritz the soap with water and twirl a spoolie brush
wearefeelgoodinc.com.au 2. Tinted Daywear until you get a paste-like mixture. Brush the hairs upwards,
SPF 30+ UVA – UVB, $32.95, INVISIBLE
ZINC, 1800 630 056 3. Sunscreen Emulsion coating each and every strand, using small strokes in the
SPF 50+ Face, $26.95, AVÈNE, avene.com.au direction that you want your hairs to stay, then leave to dry.”
now
be
au
ty
PHOTOGRAPHY BY
A DRI A N PRI CE
THE PIECE:
scrunch it
115
Brandon Maxwell
#askELLE EDITOR’S
Vanessa Seward
OBSESSIONS
Chanel
IT’S LIT
Strobing is still having a moment,
but nothing beats the natural-grade
glow that comes from lit-from-within
skin. This mask will fast-track your
efforts via a cast of antioxidants,
radiance-boosting fruit extracts and
vitamin C. Come for the selfie-ready
purple colour and stay for the
insane lustre it gives your skin.
4 Colour All-In-One
Pen, $45, CLARINS,
Balmain
Elie Saab
A.
cool, but the genius of housing three
Q. I buy
a palette that
Firstly, you look beautiful.
Secondly, don’t beat yourself up: most
women have at least once parted with
liners for your eyes and one for your
lips in the one little changeable pen
is what has us giving it all the heart
eyes. Click, click, done.
I think I love, their cold, hard cash for a blinged-up OH, HONEY
Am I just brushed over your lids for weekend a pro-grade treatment like a peel or
Honey Balm, $89, GUERLAIN,
davidjones.com.au
Philipp Plein
flick. If you’re feeling brave, get your Think of these as part Compeed
inspiration from the Chanel cruise 2018 patch, part derma roller. Instead
runway and take that pretty little cat eye on of spikes, each patch is lined with
to the lower lid, too. If fine lines aren’t your micro cones of pure hyaluronic
(still-life); Jason Lloyd-Evans; Benoît Peverelli
forte, blend a little of the bold shades in acid and vitamin C, which deliver
with your safe ones for a custom colour a concentrated hit of hydration
that lets you dip your toe (or your lid) in. and antioxidants to trouble zones
You’ll get used to more colour gradually. (crow’s-feet, forehead lines, smile
ASK A QUESTION lines – you’re up). Leave on
askELLE@bauer-media.com.au overnight and wake up with
Oscar De La Renta
RUBY
ROSE
1.
up with her back- 5.
to-back schedule
4.
THE
Rosie Assoulin
THIS IS A THING:
SMUDGED
MSGM
Ann Demeulemeester
LIP
Emporio Armani
How to put a 2018 spin on your go-to red lip? Smudge it out for
a just-kissed, partied-all-night effect. Deliberately diffused lips were
spotted all across the AW17-18 shows, including Emporio Armani,
Preen By Thornton Bregazzi, Public School and Rosie Assoulin. This
Nicole Miller
isn’t about staying strictly in the lines – just layer your lip colour on and
buff the edges out with a fluffy brush or cotton tip. Quicker, cooler
Topshop Unique
117
Zimmermann
Compact brush case,
$75, LO ROLLER,
loroller.com
HOW
WE
CLEAN
ROLL
A makeup brush
holder is like
DREAM
Micellar is
your sunglasses
case: use it and the world (including this
Words: Sara McLean; Amy Starr. Photography: Sevak Babakhani (still-life); Jason Lloyd-Evans
Gel Wash, $9.99, SIMPLE,
priceline.com.au rinse of a traditional cleanser. four brushes, a palette, mascara, that can make it hard to disperse
Haircare has received a micellar eyeliner, brow gel and a lip crayon, your makeup evenly.”
makeover, too. Redken’s new too,” she explains. “If you’re
now
be
shampoo is gentle enough to use travelling, you can even fit in things Les Indispensables De Chanel
daily, with innovative Neofresh like a toothbrush, cotton tips, a hair 2017 Brush Set, $255, CHANEL,
Technology neutralising odours and comb and a roll-on perfume.” 1300 242 635
au
Suffering
from styling-
product
fatigue?
Meet
the new
techniques
and
texturisers
giving the
perfect
wave
bottle
order PHOTOGRAPHY BY
HANNAH SCOTT-STEVENSON
STYLING BY
EMMA KALFUS
Top, $610, REJINA PYO,
mychameleon.com.au; bikini
briefs, $59.90, AQUA BLU,
aquablu.com.au; earring,
$308, ALBUS LUMEN X RYAN
STORER, albuslumen.com;
necklace, $1,750, ELSA
PERETTI FOR TIFFANY & CO.,
tiffany.com (worn throughout)
Texture 2.0
The multi-function movement that’s been dominating skincare in
recent times has made its merry way to haircare. “No-one has time
anymore and they don’t want to use multiple products every day,”
says hairstylist Kevin Murphy. “The modern woman wants to
enhance, condition and style in one product.” Changing the
game and downsizing routines right now are the latest hybrid
stylers – texturisers that are spiked with protective ingredients to
leave hair nourished and touchable, while simultaneously giving
you more bang in each bottle. >
121
One-piece, $44.99,
H&M, hm.com/au
Haven’t found
a texturiser that goes the
distance yet? You may just be using it wrong. “Liquid texturisers such as sea-salt spray are
designed to be applied when the hair is wet and then dried in – that way they give the hair
a bit of guts and create a stronger foundation,” says hairstylist Paloma Rose Garcia. “Dry
It’too
s hot
sprays or powders can be layered in once the hair is dry.” She also recommends
patchworking products on areas that are soft
and flat, rather than using all over your head.
“Lightened ends will already have natural texture,
so concentrate your product at the roots and
under layers where you want some height.”
for polished perfection and you’re too weary from last night’s
festivities to fuss too much with your mop, so what do you do?
Make like hairstylist Michele McQuillan did on set for this ELLE shoot and style in some perfectly imperfect
texture using multipurpose texturising products. “This model actually has straight hair,” she says. “Apart
from lasting all day, this great texture naturally evolves with time and gets better over the course of the
day. It’s a great base for lots of different shapes, too. It gets even better after it’s dropped a little and the
products have worked deep into the hair.” The pro used Moroccanoil Volumizing Mousse ($47.95,
moroccanoil.com/au) and sea-salt spray, brushing through hair while damp. She dried it roughly, using
only her fingers (a brush or comb won’t give you enough of a lived-in feel), then added haphazard curls
Refresh + Care
Dry Shampoo, with a hot tong. “Don’t have the ends in when you curl – the shape is too glamorous,” she says.
$9.99, DOVE,
Texture
1800 061 027
Love Curl
Primer, $41.95,
and
Words: Amy Starr; Sara McLean. Photography: Hannah Scott-Stevenson at ArtBoxBlack; Sevak Babakhani (still-life). Hair: Michele McQuillan using Moroccanoil.
DAVINES,
Makeup: Isabella Schimid at Union. Model: Nana Skovgaard at IMG. Shot on location at Phillip Bay, NSW, with thanks to Diana and Noek of noekdesign.com
hydration
have long been mutually
Prêt-À-Powder Très exclusive, but the latest
Invisible Dry Shampoo, Motion Lotion, line-up of innovative
$43, BUMBLE
No Blow Dry Bossy AND BUMBLE,
$38.95, products is offering the best
KEVIN MURPHY, Texture Tonic,
Cream, $34.95, mecca.com.au kevinmurphy.com.au
of both worlds. These are
REDKEN, $39, AVEDA,
aveda.com.au the buys embracing the
redken.com.au
Sea Spray, multi-tasking mentality. E
$18, FRENCH GIRL,
mecca.com.au Dry Powder Volume Paste,
$24.95, ELEVEN AUSTRALIA,
elevenaustralia.com
123
let
there
be
light
LEDs are
treating all
kinds of woes,
from wrinkles development of LED therapies for pain body work
to sore muscles management and wound healing. Now, the
uses are prolific: different wavelengths have
The slogan at HigherDOSE, NYC’s infrared
sauna spa, is “Get high naturally”; its
and maybe been shown to act on everything from acne to
arthritis, affecting the body (and even the
website greets you with an image of a nude
woman frolicking in a jungle. One could be
even memory brain) in ways that may revolutionise wellness. forgiven for inferring that ayahuasca might
is an amazing new frontier in the anti-ageing treatment (delivered via a cap fitted with
arsenal.” Whereas acne-fighting blue LEDs) in patients suffering TBI. There’s even
wavelengths address the epidermis, red hope that the technology could mitigate
and infrared penetrate deeper. “I like to Alzheimer’s. A 2016 MIT study showed that
use a little bit of infrared,” Gross says, pulsed LED light reduced beta-amyloid
Photography: Karina Twiss/Trunk Archive/Snapper Media;
annual ELLE
we usually associate with
haircare, so this mask was
International
a wonderful surprise. It
leaves hair soft, without
feeling heavy at all.”
46 editors from
all over the world
came together to
test thousands of
* new products and
BEST
FR AGR ANCE curate a list of those
Bloom, $182 for 100ml,
GUCCI, 1800 812 663 that stand out from
“It’s like sexiness in a bottle.
The mix of tuberose, jasmine, the pack. Skip the
rangoon creeper and musk
leaves an elegant and risk at the counter
sophisticated powdery veil
on the skin and a trail that
and find a new
doesn’t leave anyone
favourite out of this
indifferent (not even
the man in your life).”
– ANGÉLIQUE MARTEL,
all-star line-up
ELLE QUÉBEC
PH OT OG RAPH Y BY
SE V A K B A B A KH A NI
126
*
BEST *
BEST
MASCAR A ANTI - CELLULITE
Diorshow Pump’N’Volume, Body Fit Anti-Cellulite Contouring
$56, DIOR, (02) 9295 9059 Expert, $85, CLARINS, clarins.com.au
“I’m so sceptical when “Body Fit is the king of
a product seems like bodycare. It’s like a fitness
a gimmick, but I was made trainer in a bottle. And it dries
to eat my words when I saw super fast – no need to wait,
the life-changing sooty, fat you can dress immediately. No
lashes this created. Why cons, only pros. Just perfect.”
don’t all mascaras have – CINDY KERBEROVA,
a squeezy tube?” ELLE CZECH REPUBLIC
– GRACE WONG,
ELLE MALAYSIA
*
BES T
ANTI - AG
GEING
Visionnaire Crescend
do Progressive
Night Peel, $125, LANCÔME,
lancome.coom.au
“It’s like a bootcamp
amp for your
skin. This overnight peel
provides a brighter-looking,
*
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more even-toned and MASK
even-textured complexion.” alendula & Aloe Soothing
Hydration Masque, $67,
– BARBARA HUBER, KIEHL’S, kiehls.com.au
ELLE GERMANY NY his cooling mask is the
b
best thing to calm red,
ir itated skin, especially
hen you’ve spent too
ch time out in the sun.”
– MAMTA MODY,
ELLE INDIA >
*
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FOUNDATION
N
Les Beiges Healthy Glow Gel Touch
Foundation SPF 25, $91,
“W
CHANEL, 1300 242 635
With a high water content *
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and hyaluronic acid, it feels
amazing, and perhaps more
BODY
impportantly, looks good and MOISTURISER
performs so well. My skin Shea Butter Ultra Rich Body
Cream, $62, L’OCCITANE,
loves this stuff!” au.loccitane.com
– SOPHIE BERESINER, “It’s like jumping into
ELLE UK a large, ultra-soft duvet.
An experience of
pure wellbeing.”
– MARIE-NOËLLE
VEKEMANS,
ELLE BELGIUM
*
BE ST
LIP CO
COLOUR
Powermatte Lip Pigment, $38,
NARS, mecca.com.au
“The Holy Grail of intense
matte lip colour – you can
see it from miles away! It’s
non-drying and stays
in place for hours.”
– EMILY DOUGHERTY,
ELLE US
128
*
BEST
HAIR ST YLING
Dry Shampoo Foam, $43,
OUAI, sephora.com.au
“It functions like no other dry
shampoo on the market by
completely obliterating oil
without leaving any trace
*
BEST
elements. There’s also zero SHAMPOO
build-up; I could continue to Aura Botanica Bain Micellaire,
use this without ever hitting the $44, KÉRASTASE, 1300 365 552
shower to lather and rinse (but “Natural formulas don’t
that would be oh-so wrong). always feel particularly
I’ll continue to preach its luxurious, but this gentle
brilliance to anyone wash, which has 96 per
who will listen.” cent natural ingredients,
– KATHERINE FLEMMING, feels as lightly cleansing
ELLE CANADA and shine-boosting as
the best of them.”
– AMY STARR,
ELLE AUSTRALIA
Compiled by: Amy Starr
*
BEST
MOISTURISER
Black Rose Skin Infusion Cream,
$230, SISLEY, 1300 780 800
“The perfect everyday
cream that hydrates and
firms skin, while giving it
a healthy glow and
smoothing it out.”
– CAROLINE SKJELBRED,
ELLE NORWAY E
129
every day,
130
wELL
Eness
people
I NEVER HEARD MY ACTIVE, UPBEAT MUM
Want to reassess your
wellness philosophy
for 2018? For 25 years,
USE THE WORD DIET. She seemed to maintain her
tall, lean body with zero effort. It took me years to realise that writer Lucy Danziger
effort was in fact ingrained in every decision she made: eat
what you want, she’d tell me, but in small portions. When you
has had a front-row
wake up, do deep knee bends, stretch for the sky and start seat at the wellbeing
moving. If your clothes fit tight, just skip dessert. Exercise
should be fun – like a raucous, social game of tennis. A sign revolution, watching
of being a grown-up is putting yourself to bed on time. When
you eat ice-cream – as she did, every day – enjoy the ice- trends come and go,
cream. But that’s not the kind of advice anyone wants to
hear. In the 25 years I’ve covered our culture’s tectonic shift and learning what
towards wellbeing and our obsession with exercise and diet,
I’ve fielded questions from millions of men and women. On actually works. Here,
an almost daily basis, I’m asked: 1. Should I do a cleanse?
2. Will spin make my legs bulky? 3. What single move will
she predicts the advice
tone my arms, flatten my abs and make my legs look leaner? that’ll stand the test of
4. Will eating Paleo help me lose weight faster? 5. Should
I freeze off my fat in a cryogenic chamber? (Answers: 1. No;
2. No; 3. Planks; 4. Yes, as long as you still burn more
time – and science
kilojoules than you consume; 5. You can, or you could just
stand half-naked in a cool room a few times and keep your $1,000.) For every study on how to eat,
work out or think ourselves healthier, there’s a counter study saying we should do the opposite. The
fact that science is constantly reviewing and modifying findings is a good thing. But instead of
a bunch of “breakthroughs” that might be debunked next week, what I’ve included here is tried-and- and living long enough to teach your
true wisdom for readers who accept the (boring) fact that it takes a lifetime of good habits to make grandkids how to ski? That’s the goal
you strong, fit and healthy – not some magic powder sprinkled on your food. This is gimmick-free that has helped me try to be healthy for
advice that can change your body for the better and improve how you feel in (and about) it. 30 years. For every diet, you will cheat;
for every workout streak, you will be
slothful. Breaks are, in fact, a necessary
part of getting fitter. The 90/10 diet
131
came from fat (not the kind of long-term loss you want).
Sleep-deprived subjects also found it 55 per cent
harder to lose weight. A sleep-starved brain will seek
alternative energy, usually in the form of junk food.
Find yourself hunting for a sugar hit at 3pm, when
brain power tends to plummet? Get more shut-eye
tonight, then see what happens tomorrow afternoon.
3. MOVE EARLY
AND OFTEN
Too frequently I hear, “I work out and don’t see
results.” To which I answer: get moving first thing.
Yes, a spin class at 7am burns the same kilojoules
as one at 7pm, but the early-morning option
keeps your engine burning for hours. Better yet,
work out before breakfast, or fuelled by just
a handful of berries or half a banana and a cup
of coffee. In a UK study, overweight male
exercisers who worked out before breakfast
burned fat more readily than those who exercised
after eating. After a night’s sleep, muscles’
available fuel – aka glycogen – is at its lowest,
so your body is more likely to pull the energy it
needs from stored fat. As for that morning coffee,
studies have shown caffeine can boost
metabolism and signal the body to utilise fat
instead of glycogen for power, plus enable
you to work harder for longer.
4. WORK OUT
SPIKY, EAT SMOOTH
How do you “work out spiky”? You’ve probably heard of high-intensity
interval training. When you work your muscles at maximum effort, even
for one to two minutes, your body needs more fuel than is available in I learnt this doing Ironman triathlons. If you don’t take in about 850kJ
that moment. Again, it has to pull fat out of storage. Once you turn up an hour during the 180km bike ride, you won’t be able to manage the
the burners, they keep roaring for up to 24 hours, adding significantly 42km run (meanwhile, you already swam 38km). Eat too much and
to your total deficit as your body tries to get back to resting you get queasy; too little, and you lose focus. The takeaway? Your
metabolism. According to one Canadian study, just three minutes body needs only a small amount of steady fuel to keep going. Overeat,
a week of all-out intensity (three bursts of 20 seconds at maximum effort and you store the excess. Undereat, and you demolish the bread
separated by bouts of moderate activity, done three times a week) basket at your next meal. So anticipate your next three hours and eat
improved blood pressure, VO2 max and other measures of cardio to fuel that level of activity. And since it takes 20 minutes from the
fitness. “Eat smooth” means keeping the glycaemic index (a measure moment you begin eating for your brain to sense satiety, slow down.
of how foods impact blood-sugar levels) of what you eat low and
steady by cutting sugar consumption, increasing protein and complex
carbs, and eating small portions regularly. Eating sufficient lean 6. FIBRE: NOT JUST
protein (15 to 20 per cent of meals) stops blood sugar spiking, so there’s
less insulin telling your body to cart off extra kilojoules to be stored.
Beware of misleading sugar cravings – when your blood sugar drops,
FOR OLDIES
The topic du jour – anti-inflammatory foods – essentially refers to
you need protein, not more simple carbs to send you back up the sugar those that are rich in antioxidants, low in sugar and packed with
roller-coaster. Protein helps keep blood sugar steady, making it easier good old-fashioned fibre. Fibre in itself may be the simplest diet booster
to fight mid-afternoon snacking. ever. In one study at the University of Massachusetts Medical School,
people who added 30g a day to their regular diets lost 75 per cent as
132
wELL
Eness
“For every diet, you will cheat;
for every workout streak, you
will be slothful. Breaks are
necessary for getting fitter”
cleanses help you lose weight. Quite the opposite. Since
your body (when starving) burns fewer kilojoules and goes
on “dimmer” mode, cleanses that reduce your kilojoules
below about 5,000 a day actually slow your metabolism.
You can drop weight, but it’s mostly water – or worse, muscle
(if you don’t eat protein) – and temporary. Once you revert to
normal eating, your smart body – to help with, you know,
survival – will overrule you and store every morsel as fat.
9. BREATHE LIKE
A YOGI
We think of breathing as something our body does without
conscious participation, but you can control both the depth
and frequency of your breaths, and it may be the easiest way to
dial down your stress. Last March, researchers at Stanford
published a study revealing a cluster of cells they dubbed the
brain’s respiratory “pacemaker” that connects breathing to
stress response. Breathe rapidly, from your upper chest, and
you get anxious and produce negative stress hormones;
breathe slowly and deeply into your abdomen, and it signals
your cells to calm down – oxygen is on the way. In one of my
favourite yoga classes, the instructor’s mantra was,
“Breathe, breathe, breathe. Everything’s going to be fine.”
We would breathe in for five beats, pause, and breathe out for six,
7. VANITY CAN BE expelling all that stress. Try it right now. See?
tend to grin and bear it. But regular appointments for so-called stairs tell you what you need to know. Keep track, but don’t obsess. The
superficial concerns (nails, hair, skin) can sometimes lead to bigger biggest change I’ve witnessed in my time in the health and wellbeing
revelations. For example, you go to a dermatologist to eradicate trenches: back in my twenties, friends of my mum’s would talk about
a pimple, she finds a mole that needs investigating. going to the “fat farm” to lose weight, like it was some kind of penance
for having fun, drinking and eating whatever they liked the rest of the
8. CLEANSING AND year. Now we see a spa trip as a luxury, and living healthy as an even
greater privilege. I’ve seen crazy-bad luck: healthy friends get sick no
WEIGHT LOSS
I can’t say this enough: there is no convincing evidence that “detox”
matter how many good choices they’ve made. And I’ve known women
who smoked like chimneys and live into their nineties, defiantly happy.
Wellbeing is a choice, yes, but also takes a whole lot of luck. Every day
regimens help your body shed toxins, nor is there proof that extreme I realise this and remind myself again to keep a PMA. Drive on. E
133
wELL
PINEAPPLE
Eness
MANGO
SMOOTHIE THE IT- INGREDIENT:
BY KATRINA SCOTT
AND KARENA DAWN
OF TONE IT UP
CAULIFLOWER
How did broccoli’s less controversial
BLEND: cousin suddenly soar to cool-food
1 cup coconut water status? High in fibre but low in
1 scoop vanilla protein carbohydrates, the cauliflower craze
½ cup frozen has already swept through the US –
cauliflower rice American supermarket chain Trader
¼ cup frozen mango Joe’s recently had to cap purchases
¼ cup frozen at two bags of cauliflower rice per
pineapple customer at some of its stores due to high
1 tbsp almond butter demand – so prepare to see the
versatile vegetable starring on many
a (recycled paper) menu in 2018.
“Our Pineapple Mango Smoothie is
to evaluate attention, mood, memory and one of our favourites right now – we swapped
reaction speed throughout the day. In banana for cauliflower,” says Katrina Scott,
addition, new discoveries into the link co-founder of fitness and lifestyle brand Tone It
between our heart rate variability (the time Up. “It helps keep blood sugar levels stable so
between beats) and circadian patterns you won’t have a spike and crash in energy.”
mean wearable devices that track both have Filling in for grains in rice and pizza recipes,
the potential to screen your risk of mental the multipurpose plant is as easy on the
illness with new-found accuracy. wallet as it is on the digestive system.
COOL
the new leaders in the wellness space are new natural remedy to know about. (Well, not
anti-diet, anti-plate shaming and all about quite “new” – it’s been used for thousands of
debunking fads. Helping us cleanse our years in Ayurvedic medicine.) The ancient
mindsets for the new year is UK food writer adaptogenic herb is gaining widespread
Now that you’ve Anthony Warner, who calls out every cult traction after studies showed it could assist
to supercharge
your mouth in What Am I Supposed To
Eat? Making Sense Of Food Confusion PROOF
your routine ($39.95, Little Green Frog). For an
inside-out take, try celebrity trainer James
adidas has updated its bestselling Boost shoes
to keep up with our ever-changing exercise
Duigan’s latest work, Blueprint For Health routines. The bendy sole is super stable, while
THE TECH: ($29.99, Pavilion). Tapping into the the stretchy-knit yarn that holds your foot is Sevak Babakhani (still-life)
MATTERS
From counting steps and encouraging
that’s easy to digest, finally. mud) without having to change your shoes. If
you travel a lot, pack these and swap the hotel
gym for the city streets without a worry.
standing to evaluating how hard you weent in
that HIIT workout, smart watches have larrgely
UltraBoost All Terrainn
focused on improving our physical health – trainers, $320,
but that’s now set to shift thanks to new reseearch ADIDAS, adidas.com.au
into the ways wearable technology can tra ack
anxiety, stress and depression. A UK stud dy
found success using a new Apple Watch
app to monitor and assess people with major m
depressive disorder. By having participa ants
complete cognitive tests, the app was able
134
Help us
help
women
The Priceline Sisterhood Foundation
is dedicated to raising funds for the
charities that directly support some
of the biggest health concerns facing
Australian women and their families.
Charity partners
W ORD S AN D S T Y L I N G BY
A M Y ST A RR
PH OT OG RAPH Y BY
KRI ST I NA SO L J O
EARTHY APPEAL:
A bust made by Oates’
“The home
is a warm
daughter takes pride of
place next to ceramics
space where
by artist Kimberly Cruz,
pieces from Country
Road and Dinosaur
Designs, and an artwork
by Hannah Nowlan
we gather to
share food,
music and
cups of tea”
137
SITTING PRETTY:
An old IKEA table (from the
CARLA OATES, the founder and CEO of wellness bargain corner, no less!)
brand The Beauty Chef, lives surrounded by exactly the looks chic with the help of
earthy, grounded shades and textures you’d expect, chairs by Hans Wegner
given her vocation. Tobacco leather and velvet cushions
in soft khaki and rust pair perfectly with the natural finishes
of timber and ceramics. “I’m inspired by the natural
world and curvilinear forms,” she says. “I lean towards
muted, dirty tones, with a pop of bright colour that
usually comes from botanicals. They reflect nature,
which I’m naturally drawn to.”
Oates shares her private paradise in Bondi Beach
with her husband Davor and children, 20-year-old Jeet
and 17-year-old Otis. They moved into the space 13
years ago, but embarked on an ambitious renovation
only three years ago. What was once a small, dark
two-bedroom apartment is now a sprawling, light-filled
family space. “I love Modernist design,” says Oates.
“What emerged from that era really resonates with me
visually and philosophically – the fluidity, simplicity and
functionality. I love the flow of inside to outside. We love
living near the beach and I think there’s a relaxed and
open feeling in our house that reflects this being an
important part of our lifestyle.”
Her favourite spot is the one with the best view of the
outdoors. “I love sitting on the leather Staple & Co
lounge and looking out into the backyard at our beautiful
fig tree. It’s a shared source of beauty among two
apartment blocks and it’s awesome in both breadth and
height. Every time I look at it, I’m reminded of how
incredible nature is. It’s a work of art.” >
“I like simple
lines, elegant,
organic Stool, $35, IKEA,
ikea.com/au
shapes and
lots of texture
and space”
Coffee table, $3,250, GREAT DANE,
greatdanefurniture.com
138 jardan.com.au
Pendant light, $895, LUCCI DÉCOR,
beaconlighting.com.au
“Comfort is
important to
me – I love chairs
and lounges
you can
sink into with
a good book”
FACE TIME:
Oates’ beauty line-up is
peppered with products
from her own range
Platter, $295, DINOSAUR DESIGNS,
dinosaurdesigns.com.au
r
Hair and makeup: Allison Boyle at The Artist Group using Sisley
MAKING WAVES:
A photograph by Justine Kerrigan
and bed linen by Tow And Line
bring colour to the bedroom
Shelving unit,
$129, IKEA,
ikea.com/au
141
TRAVEL:
ACE HOTEL
& SWIM CLUB
PALM S PR IN GS, C A L I F O RNI A
The music is pumping, rosé is flowing and
Instagram boyfriends are working hard to get
the shot. In this part of California, you could reading here). And if you’re not much of
only be at the Ace, which, over the past a night owl, request a room away from the
nine years, has cemented its place as Palm main pool – it’s open until 2am and you
Springs’ seminal “hip hotel” (turning the desert never know when the party will run well
town from a kitsch road-trip stop to the into the night.
weekend playground of LA’s most influential). The in-house restaurant, King’s Highway,
DESERT OASIS:
You’ll come for the cool The 176 rooms vary in size – some serves breakfast, lunch and dinner – think
architecture and bohemian have extra seating inside, or a sweet Americana with a south-of-the-border twist
styling, and stay for the little private patio – but all are designed (order the soft egg and grilled corn cazuela
poolside party scene to evoke a Bedouin-goes-to-Hollywood and have a transformative experience). With
aesthetic, with canvas-panelled Eames-style chairs, a stained-glass window
walls and desert-inspired art. with an all-seeing eye and old-school coffee
Set beneath rocky Mount San mugs serving up Stumptown brew, it’s more
Jacinto, lying by the pool in the sun has a millennial take on the ’70 than an accurate
never provided such a unique view. Of depiction of what the era was actually like.
course, being that it’s the Ace, the pool There’s also the Amigo Room, the hotel’s dive
is one of the most in-demand places to bar that’s anything but. Slide into a booth for
hang out in town (so forget focused extra privacy in the dark or grab a mic and
join in at the weekly karaoke night – a perfect
opportunity to rub shoulders with the locals.
acehotel.com/palmsprings
SCRIBNER’S
CATSKILL LODGE
HU N TE R, N E W Y OR K
There’s something so wonderfully nostalgic
about Scribner’s Catskill Lodge – it harkens
back to the old-school camps and family The 38-room lodge, part of the
ski trips where time was spent making exclusive Design Hotels portfolio, has
fires, grazing knees on tennis courts and a retro flair – with all the charm but none
competing in heated rounds of Trivial Pursuit. of the staleness you might expect from
You’d be forgiven for thinking this was not a hotel in a quiet ski town. The hallways,
upstate New York but in fact the Austrian Alps lined with wood-panelled walls, lead to
(neighbouring homes and motels have the bright, airy rooms with high ceilings and
same European charm to them, though a calming palette of white, charcoal and
no-one seems quite sure where that alpine tan leather – a faultless blend of old and
influence came from). Perhaps it all comes new. There’s a TV, but no minibar. But you
back to Hunter Mountain, the magnificent won’t miss it. It’s far more fun to head to
peak that looms over the town – the the lobby, choose a book and curl up
beloved ski spot for locals draws hikers beside the fire. Or grab a table and
from the city during warmer months. enjoy the modern take on mountain fare
at in-house restaurant Prospect (and COUNTRY CHARM:
make an effort to look at your coaster; With its modern spin on
it’s inspired by the constellations above). mountain luxury, it’s easy
to see why Scribner’s is
scribnerslodge.com a popular getaway spot
for chic Manhattanites
THE OLD NO 77
HOTEL & CHANDLERY
N E W OR LE AN S , LOUIS IAN A
In a city where tales of local legends are
as intrinsic to its magic as the powdered
sugar-coated fingertips of Café Du Monde
pilgrims, it’s tough to stand out. Everything is
charming, colourful and steeped in history. floors and floor-to-ceiling windows, while
THE BIG EASY: But The Old No 77 is quickly establishing the Artist Loft Suites offer more space and
Fill up on hush puppies itself as one to watch. Positioned in NOLA’s a curated selection of art from local creatives.
and biscuits and gravy hip Warehouse Arts District, the 167-room There’s a rotating exhibit of art in the lobby,
at Compère Lapin
hotel affords its guests an ideal location – produced with the New Orleans Center
(above) before
exploring the rest less than a 20-minute walk from the French For Creative Arts, and a vintage cigarette
of NOLA Quarter action (or, the area you’re most likely machine repurposed to dispense bite-sized
to have a string of beads thrown down at you bits of one-off art for a US fiver.
from a balcony overlooking Bourbon Street). Also making waves is the hotel’s
The building has its fair share of historical restaurant, Compère Lapin. Inspired by
cred, too. First, it was a coffee warehouse, a character in a series of Caribbean
then a chandlery where ships would stock children’s folktales (Compère Lapin is French
up on essentials before long voyages. The for “brother rabbit”), the menu is as delightfully
rooms are a nod to its warehouse origins, whimsical as the rabbit motif that appears
with exposed bricks and pipes, hardwood throughout, and chef Nina Compton’s
Caribbean-Creole fusion quickly earned the
venue a place on multiple “Best” lists. Don’t
miss the biscuits and gravy at brunch. >
old77hotel.com
SOUTH CONGRESS
HOTEL
AUS TIN , TEXA S
In the coolest town in the South, tourists make
a beeline for Sixth Street. On nearby Rainey
Street, cocktails in converted houses and
fairylight-laden beer gardens attract a hipper
crowd. But the hottest spot of all, across the
Colorado River and away from the bustle
of the CBD, is South Congress Hotel.
Alongside the stunning interiors – mid- In a city where you can fill a few days
century furnishings in denim and leather, with without stopping or happily do nothing at
reclaimed wood and clay brick bringing all, there are plenty of places to hang out
a Southern zest to the mix – it’s the less at South Congress. Three acclaimed
noticeable additions that make each of the restaurants, two bars and a cafe are on-site, DIVE IN:
83 rooms feel like home. The entertainment as well as a womenswear boutique, expertly With a bar and
incredible view of
system includes Apple TV and Chromecast curated lobby shop, nail salon plus bike and
Austin’s skyline,
(so you can stream Netflix to the TV from your motorcycle rentals via the concierge. The staff you’ll find it hard to
Apple or Android device), the bathroom is full are undoubtedly a drawcard; they’ve got all leave the hotel’s
of Aesop toiletries and the minibar is stocked the friendliness of Texans, with the efficiency rooftop pool
with local goodness. Spring for a Bouldin you’d expect from an upscale boutique hotel.
room and be treated to more space and They’re handy with a recommendation –
a view of buzzy South Congress Avenue. Barton Springs Pool on a hot day, Lucy’s
Fried Chicken for a local dinner – and ensure
you never miss a happy hour (of which there
are a few) unless you want to.
southcongresshotel.com
144
FUN IN THE SUN:
SURFJACK HOTEL
Playful touches, like & SWIM CLUB
the Instagram-worthy H ON OL U L U , H A W A I I
pool, add to the It’s easy to pigeonhole Honolulu as
hotel’s fun vibe
a destination for honeymooners or families
seeking the ease of mega resorts and
commercial shopping, but there’s so much
more to Hawaii’s capital city than meets the
eye. Sure, its misty green hills, hyper-blue activities. Group fun not your thing? Bliss out by
waters and mid-century high-rises give it the pool enjoying locally sourced food (the
postcard-like appeal, but it’s not just that poké bowls are next level) and craft cocktails
either. Rather, what makes it a stand-out is the – in-house restaurant Mahina & Sun’s are
alluring mix of ’60s nostalgia, legendary surf topnotch. Or explore the neighbourhood
culture, appreciation of fresh food and using one of the hotel’s adorable bicycles.
generous aloha spirit – all of which can be The 112 bungalow-style guest rooms
found at the Surfjack Hotel & Swim Club. range from one-room to three-bedroom suites
Located just a few blocks from the iconic and feel more like hip beach apartments than
Waikiki Beach, the community-oriented hotel rooms. The 10-floor building wraps
concept sees locals and vacationers alike around the property’s focal point: an oval
hanging out enjoying the curated events, pool with “Wish you were here!” written
including live music, workshops and wellness on the bottom. Though the pool is the most
obvious Instagram op, every corner of the
hotel has been thoughtfully designed
with that in mind, ensuring you’ll
return home with no free storage
on your device.
surfjack.com
BEACH BLISS:
THE ROSE HOTEL
While located in V E N ICE BE ACH , CALIF O RNI A
bohemian Venice The Rose Hotel is the most brag-worthy place
Beach, the hotel has in LA’s beloved Venice Beach. Preaching
a stylish Hamptons feel
a lo-fi approach to hospitality, the vibe will
have you falling under its spell – few hotels in worry, it’s not as “hostel” as it sounds).
the area so effortlessly capture the Venice A handful of larger suites feature their own
lifestyle. Despite the salacious rumour that private bathrooms; some with additional
Venice Beach’s founding father Abbot Kinney living space, a kitchen or a deck (in the
built The Rose as his own private party pad Abbot Kinney Suite, you’ll find all three).
and brothel, the current owners prefer a more Borrow a bike, cruise down the
wholesome approach – they’re eco-friendly boardwalk and take in the action at Muscle
and source food from local, ethically minded Beach. There are surfboards at the front
suppliers. The art on the walls is a nod to the desk, too, if you decide to go “full Venice”.
area’s surf and skate culture, and rooms are From 8am, complimentary Sugarbloom
simple in design and vary in size. The smallest Bakery croissants (better than any from
include a bed, basin and mirror, with communal Paris) and strong coffee is in the lobby. The
showers and toilets a few doors down (don’t hotel, though moments from the sand, is
also close to the canals and Dennis
Hopper’s old compound, which was
designed in part by Frank Gehry – worth
adding to your walking-trail route. >
therosehotelvenice.com
FAENA HOTEL
M I A M I B E A C H , F L O RI DA
A relative newcomer to the hotel scene
on Miami’s world-famous beach strip, the
Faena Hotel is the absolute centre of the
“Faena district” – first made a reality in 2014
by Alan Faena, an Argentinian hotelier and
real-estate developer. The six-block area’s
billion-dollar revamp has made Mid-Beach
a neighbourhood worthy of international
attention and the 169-room Faena Hotel place to check out the locals than the pool,
is the jewel in the crown. nestled between strategically placed palm
A towering gold mammoth created by the trees and striped umbrellas, or the hotel’s strip
art world’s enfant terrible, Damien Hirst, takes of beach, where the lounge chairs are as
pride of place in the gardens (cementing upmarket as the cocktail menu. Once you’ve
the property’s place as most photogenic in had your fill of fun in the sun, head to the
Florida). But inside the front door is where on-site spa, Tierra Santa Healing House –
you’ll truly pick your jaw up off the an epic 2,044m2 oasis that includes one
floor; there, a “Cathedral” lined of the largest hammams on the east coast.
with golden columns offsets the The massage menu is extensive, but skip
custom murals by Juan Gatti. the indecision and go for the Tierra Santa
MAXIMALIST’S DREAM:
Unsurprisingly, Baz Luhrmann and Masaje De Coco (therapists use virgin
There’s plenty to see at Faena,
including Damien Hirst’s Catherine Martin were creative coconut oil and a warm coconut herbal
“Gone But Not Forgotten” consultants during the hotel’s compress and it’s as delicious as it sounds).
installation (below right) design – a collaboration most There are three restaurants to choose
evident in the colour palette from: one focused around open-fire cooking
of gold, red and teal blue, and and excessive consumption of meat, another
the playfully kitsch decor. celebrates Asian cuisine and the third offers
In this part of town, the people-watching is breakfast with beach views. As further
as mesmeric as the art, and there’s no better enticement to stay put, Faena Theater
showcases cabaret and artistic productions
amid an old-Hollywood setting. After the
show, head to Saxony Bar, The Living Room
or Tree Of Life. With three bars in such close
proximity to your room, hedonism is difficult
to avoid here (but, after all, this is Miami).
faena.com/miami-beach
146
ART ATTACK:
The exhibition
space at 21c
means you
can up your
culture cred
without even
going outside
THE WILLIAMSBURG
HOTEL
BR OOK LY N, NE W Y O RK
Manhattan may be the beating heart of
New York, but everyone knows that Brooklyn
is where it’s at. Specifically, Williamsburg.
More specifically, The Williamsburg Hotel,
one of Wythe Avenue’s newest openings (so
new, in fact, that the rooftop pool and bar
don’t open until later in 2018, but don’t let happy-cry thanks to panoramic views of the
that deter you from a visit). The hotel is East River and Manhattan. Jewel tones, wood,
beautiful inside and out. The imposing brick copper and clean white finishes come together
structure commands attention from the street in an aspirational way (you’ll suddenly realise
below, and upon closer inspection you’ll find a blue velvet sofa is the one thing your living
both a double-door entrance and a staircase room is missing). The rooms feature a clever
descending into an outdoor seating area little MediaHub, which makes streaming
serviced by the lobby bar but making full use music and video from your mobile to the
of the outdoor vibe the ’Burg is known for. in-room speakers and TV a cinch – even for
There are 150 rooms – all are beautiful, the most technologically inept. The toiletries
but the Skyline Suites will really make you are an exclusive collaboration with local
artisans Apotheke, and the local approach
extends to its farm-to-table restaurant, Harvey,
HIPSTER and to the services offered by front-of-house
HEAVEN: staff, who will whip up recommendations for
The copper bar,
exposed brick
where to eat, drink, shop and party, and get
and custom you there via tuktuk (it’s complimentary for
furnishings will guests, and prime for photos). >
give you plenty thewilliamsburghotel.com
of inspiration for
your own pad
PIONEERTOWN MOTEL
Y UCCA V ALLE Y , CALIF ORNI A
What would make someone want to drive
into the desert – no, the middle of nowhere
– and stay in an almost-ghost town that
WILD WEST: looks like the place Westworld props go
Ever wanted to star to die? That’d be Pioneertown Motel,
in a Western? This a low-frills, 20-room desert inn surrounded
motel will let you by flat top mesas, cacti and little else.
channel your inner
Clint Eastwood
Just 40 minutes’ drive from Palm Springs, and
even closer to the stark
and supernatural Joshua
Tree National Park,
Pioneertown was ensued). These days, the area attracts hipster
founded in 1946 by thirty-somethings seeking an escape from LA.
a group of Hollywood Under new ownership, the motel was
actors – Roy Rogers and recently renovated and offers only the bare
Gene Autry among them necessities – coffee, a little wi-fi and a hot
– who hated travelling far shower. Rooms are decorated with Aztec
from home to film their blankets, cowhide rugs and photographs of
Westerns. Facades and Joshua Tree (they’re almost as pretty as the
buildings designed real thing). Rooms are named after the stars
to replicate the Wild West served as both who once slept there – a subtle nod to the
a film set and a place for the actors to stay cinematic history of the place. A short walk
during production (expectedly, all-nighters away you’ll find Pappy & Harriet’s Pioneertown
Palace, a bar that both teams with the theme
and sets itself apart from other drink and
dine joints in the region. Drawing big-name
musicians – Paul McCartney, Led Zeppelin’s
Robert Plant and the Arctic Monkeys – to its
stage, a visit to the ramshackle spot goes
hand-in-hand with a stay at the motel. E
pioneertown-motel.com
Words: Laura Collins; Anna Deutsch; Pete Harrison. Photography: Trey Dillon;
Casey Dunn; Nik Koenig; Eric J Nunez; Mariko Reed; Vincent Ricafort; Annie
Schlechter; Nick Simonite; Kris Tamburello
148
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Photography: Sevak Babakhani
R
2018
the
HORO
I L L U S T RAT I ON BY
T A NY A C O O P E R
CO
s P E
S ial
pec
2018 is set to be a year like
no other. Two big planets, Saturn
and Jupiter, are changing star
signs, and those shifts will make life
look and feel very different.
In any given year, we pay
2018 PROMISES
A SHAKE-UP IN THE
STARS, WITH BOTH
JUPITER AND SATURN
IN NEW SIGNS.
WHAT DOES THIS
attention to the position of Saturn
and Jupiter because they’re the MEAN FOR YOUR
two planets that have the most
influence on us. Jupiter and Saturn
CAREER, LOVE LIFE
are planets in the middle of the AND GENERAL
solar system line-up, moving not
too quickly nor slowly to make an HAPPINESS?
impact on our lives. Jupiter stays
in one sign for one year, because
WORLD-RENOWNED
it takes 12 years to orbit the ASTROLOGER
sun. Saturn spends around three
years in one sign, because it takes SUSAN MILLER
29-and-a-half years to revolve
around the sun. REVEALS ALL
Jupiter has recently moved into
Scorpio, where it will stay until November 2018, giving Scorpio the
crown of celestial favourite. Everyone can benefit from this placement,
depending on where this generous planet will be in your chart. Jupiter
is a planet of healing and truth that always brings injustices out in
the open. Meanwhile, Saturn has moved to the big money sign of
Capricorn, a sign Saturn hasn’t visited since February 1988 to
February 1991. Saturn is known as the taskmaster planet, because it
teaches life lessons in each of the areas of the horoscope it visits, so
some financial teachings could be around the corner.
The good news? Jupiter is the giver of gifts and luck, and will be
the sunniest, most fortunate part of your chart through most
of 2018. Have a look in the pages ahead at what I see for your sign
and you will certainly be very excited. >
153
JUPITER’S IMPACT
In 2018, you’re likely to be thrilled with the money you see come to you, due to good-fortune
Jupiter helping you from your eighth house of other people’s money. This is the first time Jupiter
has visited this area of your chart since 2006. Your effort to fund an expensive dream is edging
closer than you might assume, so fill out the application and have meetings with influential people
to get the money you need. You can get financial aid for further education, get venture capital for
a new business idea with a well-written business plan or discover you can get a loan to renovate
your home. If you’re negotiating a new job or promotion and can’t get the salary you want, look
to company perks as those benefits may more than make up for any salary shortfall.
Other areas of gain include division of assets at the end of a business, child support,
inheritance, insurance payouts, money from
a pension, prize winnings or a valuable gift
you might receive. To be clear, the eighth
house, so lit up for you, is not the house of SATURN’S IMPACT
salary (that would be the second house), Most Aries are serious about their careers. Capricorn is positioned at the top of
although at times you’ll feel some spillover of your chart, on the cusp of the 10th house that rules your reputation and the legacy
energy from the eighth house of other people’s you leave behind when you finish your working years. Now that Saturn has
money to your salary house. This is because entered this place in your chart for the first time in 29 years, you’ll be given a chance
houses opposite each other on the horoscope to climb to great heights in your profession.
wheel often ping energy and benefits back No matter how much you’ve mastered in your specialty, accepting a new offer
and forth, from one house to the other across that’s on its way will entail learning the ropes in an entirely new area of your
the skies, in a 180-degree line. industry. You can expect to be given a new title and great responsibility, so much
You will be a money magnet until so that you may be concerned about how you’ll handle it all. You’ll certainly be
November 2018. After that, until early tested, but you’ll be ready for it.
December 2019, Jupiter will still work in your Saturn entered Capricorn on December 20, 2017, and very soon, possibly at
favour, because Jupiter in Sagittarius will have the new moon on January 16, you may get an idea of what is coming. The
you travelling far and wide, to at least one taskmaster planet will remain in your 10th house of awards and achievement until
foreign country you’ve never visited. Publishing December 17, 2020. This new moon will have an extraordinary cluster of heavenly
and academic interests will both shine for you, bodies in this same 10th house, specifically, six out of a possible 10. You’ll have
too, as will the courts – not only with court the new moon, sun, Venus, Mercury, Pluto and Saturn – the highest number of
cases, but for filing a patent or heavenly bodies to be crowded into one house
trademark, too. of the horoscope, all aligned together, that we’ll
Saturn moved into Capricorn just
days before the start of 2018. In You’ll see in our lifetime. This means you’ll have an
enormous amount of planetary energy in your
Capricorn you will rise through the
ranks to take on a job of great
climb career sector, lighting your ambitions and
bringing great opportunity.
to great
responsibility and power. You won’t In January, you’ll be obsessed with getting
have to wait long to see the truth of this ahead, but there’s a catch. Uranus, the planet of
– in January, six planets will migrate unanticipated challenge, will oppose the sun,
into Capricorn, all in your house of
fame and honours, meaning a new title heights Venus and the new moon of January 16. You
could be in two minds about this new job, but
or award will be yours. You will work
hard, but all your efforts will be
rewarded, and by December 2020
in your sooner or later you’ll take the step up – another
chance may be offered around the full moon on
June 28. Saturn will conjunct that full moon,
you will turn yourself into a force to be
reckoned with and a seasoned leader
in your industry.
profession giving it a weightiness, so the job will certainly
give you power. But you may still hesitate. You
could realise that this job will give you little time
to yourself. But Saturn rules structure, so if you’re
organised, you can master the juggle.
No matter when you take on this new position, during the time Saturn spends
with you in 2018, the compensation will be quite generous, both in terms of salary
and benefits. Having more money will allow you to reach goals in your personal
life, such as to put a deposit on a house, welcome a new baby or travel overseas.
These and other dreams seem very possible for you now.
apr 21-may 21
r SATURN’S IMPACT
Saturn, the great teacher and taskmaster, will be in Capricorn from now
until December 2020. Since Saturn takes 29 years to circle the sun, it can
only visit each of the 12 houses two or three times in a lifetime, spending an
average of two-and-a-half years in each house. This means the lessons you
learn from Saturn will have to remain with you for nearly three decades,
hence the reason its teachings have to be so vivid and indelible. Yet Saturn
in earth sign Capricorn will be easier for you to deal with than what you
experienced over the past three years when Saturn was touring fire sign
Sagittarius. You’re an earth sign, so Saturn will be in your element, and you
will absorb its wisdom more easily over the coming years.
Saturn will be in your ninth house, an area that covers your intellect
JUPITER’S IMPACT and the information you take in through travel and study, as well as
On October 10, 2017, Jupiter, the planet of gifts and the information you give out to others. Also included in this area of the
luck, began a rare appearance in your solar seventh chart is international travel – the ancient astrologers felt the finest way
house of marriage and partnership, where it will to learn about life and the world around us was through visiting other
remain until November 2018. This wonder planet cultures. In the coming three years, you may go back to school to
will make your seventh house glitter with opportunity. earn a degree, and if so, you’ll find the professors to be tough teachers.
Simply said, 2018 will be the finest year for you to Yet you will learn in ways you have never learnt before and retain
promise your love forever to the one who means so much of the information. Saturn will want you to work hard – it teaches
much to you. If you’re single and are not dating, you us that the goals that are the hardest to achieve are the ones that
will start to meet marriageable types. bring us the greatest pride. During the next three years, you may publish
Already married? You and your partner will grow a book, get a job as a contributor for a prestigious newspaper or
closer in this period. If you’ve been having problems, produce an exciting podcast series. You may decide to live abroad in
Jupiter, the great healer, will coax you to address the coming years, or start an import-export business involving ideas,
them, perhaps with the help of a coach or therapist, goods or services.
so you can find solutions. Your partner will also Keep in mind that although Saturn is the planet of stability, it has
become more optimistic and prosperous in 2018, another side. When Saturn enters any house of the horoscope, it’s time
which will give you both an array of choices of to change your methods. Old formulas won’t work anymore, although
exciting things to do together. You’ll travel, most likely the first instinct we have as creatures of habit is to try using methods that
to an international location you can both enjoy have been successful before. Only when we see nothing is working as
discovering for the first time. You may buy a house, well as it used to do we change. Saturn will keep twisting your arm until
consider having a baby or start work on another you’ll do anything to get out of the fix you are in – and then almost instantly,
dream. Together you will create magic. you will get relief. People around you, especially those in power, will
Whatever your status, you can also use the be impressed by how hard you’re working with a difficult situation and
brilliant energies of Jupiter to forge powerful business will come to your aid as you begin to develop a new and far more
partnerships and collaborations. The seventh house meaningful method of coping with these challenges. The good news is that
is a contractual house between two parties who both what you learn now can be put to great use in future years. >
benefit from the association, bringing talents and
skills the other lacks. As long as both parties are
equally committed to the venture, success is almost In the coming
assured. If you work as an agent, publicist, lawyer or
other kind of middleman, then you may now sign
three years,
you will learn
a talent who turns out to be a gem, or it might be that one of the people
you already represent will blossom into quite a successful person.
This wonderful influence will be at play for more than a year, so you
can find many ways to take advantage of it.
This move from Jupiter is important for another reason: Jupiter now in ways you
crosses the line that separates the lower and upper part of your chart.
This means you’ll take on a more public role over the coming six years.
When Jupiter moves out of your marriage/partnership house on
have never
November 8, 2018, it will move into your eighth house of money and
shared resources, and it seems the success of the association
you build in the first 10 months of 2018 will start to blossom. Money
learnt before
will rain down on you and dreams that you used to assume were
beyond your ability to achieve will suddenly become doable. What
a wonderful year you have in store!
SATURN’S IMPACT
Saturn, the great teacher, recently entered your financial sector and will remain in
your eighth house for three years. In that time, Saturn will teach you wise money
management, since part of its job is to show you reasons you need to plan for the
may 22-jun 21 future. You may learn obvious lessons like the importance of paying credit cards
on time or putting aside money for retirement, but with Saturn, the lesson is often
new and less obvious. You may find you’re ready to save up for a deposit on your
first home and learn how to buy real estate. If you long for a baby, you and your
JUPITER’S IMPACT partner might save a little nest egg by forgoing dinners out or frequent holidays.
Good-fortune planet Jupiter has recently moved into Keep in mind Saturn often asks for a sacrifice to achieve something of future value
Scorpio and will remain in your sixth house of health – an achievement that will remain in your life for many years.
and work assignments until November 8, 2018. Jupiter The eighth house deals with the financing needed to fund a big dream, and
last visited Scorpio and this part of your chart in 2006, that requires resources generally beyond the amount the average person
so its influence will feel new to you. Jupiter will expand would have saved. If you want to start a business, you’ll need to write
your opportunities and luck into different areas of your a business plan and learn the steps it takes to get a business loan. Saturn
life, both at work and in regard to your wellbeing. teaches us about the importance of filling out paperwork properly – you’ll need
If you have been looking for work that’s similar to be accurate or lose credibility with the bank or investors.
to the kind you did previously, you will likely find it Sometimes we learn painful lessons from Saturn, such as if you sign a contract
easily now, as many clients/customers will call on without showing it to a lawyer, only to discover that there was a clause that will
you for your goods or services. Jupiter expands all come back to bite you. During the coming three years, don’t borrow one dollar
it touches, so if you’re self-employed, you will have more than you need, because paying back your loan could take longer than
a choice of many assignments. If you’re looking you originally anticipated.
for a step up to a more influential position in your The eighth house also rules credit cards, insurance and loans. Examine your
career, you will have to wait until March 2018, but in statements and make sure you’re not the victim of identity theft. If you discover you
the meantime, the assignments you’ll be given now will have been, the sooner you alert authorities, the sooner you will be able to protect
be fun and pay well, too. Give those jobs all you your good name. This same house rules taxes, so know all the rules and keep
have, and you’ll be on top of the world when meticulous, organised receipts in case you’re audited. (Audits do become more
promotions are given out in March. likely when Saturn tours this
The sixth house also covers health – specifically the part of your chart.) Make
preventative measures you can take to heal or stay
well. The sixth house being activated by Jupiter is
sure all your insurance
policies are paid on time Jupiter will
a rare, once-in-a-decade event that will help your
efforts to shape up and get strong with small but
as well. Review your
coverage to check make you
significant changes. You’ll be attracted to nutritious,
colourful foods, and find engaging in sports and going
to the gym to be pure joy (you’ll actually look forward
each policy still covers
your evolving needs.
One final, important
the sign most
to those times when you are working out for the
temporary relief from everyday cares). It seems strange
point: Saturn will work with
you to set up a strong likely to wed
that you’re likely to lose weight during this time since
Jupiter is supposed to expand all it touches. But
structure for your life, and
the deeper that foundation, or form a
empirical evidence has shown that people lose weight
when Jupiter is in the sixth house. You’ll see!
Also schedule in those medical exams you know
you should do, from tests on blood pressure and iron
the taller the structure you
can build. Saturn will teach
you to be practical and
realistic, and that may be its
successful
count to eye exams and dental visits. If you have greatest gift of all.
a medical problem your doctor hasn’t been able to
fix, seek advice in 2018 – you might discover new
medical breakthroughs have happened since you
last sought help.
If you have wanted to get a pet, 2018 will give you the chance to find the perfecct
furry creature to bring home. This is because the sixth house also rules small domestic
animals. You can go to the animal shelter any time you like from now through early
November. And as a bonus, scientists say that having a pet can be good for your healthh.
When Jupiter leaves your sixth house of work and health, it will enter your opposite
sign of Sagittarius
S on November 8, 2018, where it will stay for 13 months. At tha at
time, Jup piter will make you the sign most likely to wed or form a very successfuul
business partnership or collaboration. One-on-one committed relationships and
collabora ations will be remarkably happy, and in the business sense, also quite
profitablee. You’ll see that you won’t have to do everything in life by yourself, dea ar
Gemini – there will be others standing near who can complete your life in many
ways and d help you every step of the way.
156
JUPITER’S IMPACT
The big news for 2018 is that Jupiter, the planet of good fortune, will glide through Scorpio until
November 8, making you the sign most likely to fall in love. A visit from Jupiter comes by this part
of your chart only every 12 years, so it’s something very special. If you’re single, you’ll now have
a great chance to meet someone new and right for you – most likely at a party or other social
situation, or even through a business partner, collaborator or professional matchmaker. This
influence will take your mind off your career, which has been your number-one priority in recent
years, meaning you’ll have more time to become relaxed and you can return to your work
refreshed. Jupiter will be calling in Cupid and his entire fleet of angels for you, so if you are
dating but feel the person is not right for you, or you’re not in a happy relationship, then consider
leaving. Jupiter will help find someone better suited for you this coming year. It would be a shame
to waste these rare and special beams.
If you’re already attached, you will grow closer in love. You’re also likely to travel with your
partner to a foreign land so you can discover the culture together. It’s time to weave memories of
golden threads and build a grand future together.
For the next 10 months Jupiter is lighting up your fifth
house, which rules conception, pregnancy and the
care of children, so the coming year would be ideal for
having a baby or adopting one. If you already have
children, they’ll be protected and at least one child (if SATURN’S IMPACT
not more) will make you extremely proud. You’ll also For three years, you will host Saturn in your house of partnerships, which
have more time to spend with your children, which will includes your relationship to your partner in your first marriage (a second
be music to your ears. If you have had disappointment marriage would be in another house). This house also points to your relationship
with conception, keep trying, because this is the finest with a business partner, collaborator and others you have a contractual
place for Jupiter to be to help you conceive. If you’re one-on-one relationship with. You’ll discover exactly what it takes to have
single and worried you have not yet met your one true a successful, committed partnership, both in terms of what you’re willing to give
love, consider freezing your eggs to give you options and hoping to receive in return.
and peace of mind. This will not be the easiest period because Saturn will be 180 degrees from
This fifth house is not only the house of love your sun in what is called an opposition. This suggests your relationship will be
and romance, but also of fun, sport, holidays and tested in some way during the next three years, as Saturn works by applying
happiness, so you’ll have more time for those activities pressure and a series of tests. You may have been too trusting, too willing to give in
and to see friends. (The 11th house of friendship falls during a disagreement, and that might be your lesson from Saturn – you gave too
180 degrees from the house of true love, and planets much. Or your partner might go through a hard time and you’ll be called on to help
often ping energy back and forth from one house to the in a significant way. Under Saturn’s tests, you might feel you and your partner are
other, bringing happiness to both. This is why you’ll have hopelessly incompatible, or worse, find out your partner betrayed you. There’s no
help from friends, too.) rule that says you will break up. You have free will and if love is present, you can
Jupiter in the fifth house will have another bonus: your work though difficulties and become stronger as a couple.
creativity will flourish magnificently. You’ll surprise clients, You won’t feel the direct rays of Saturn throughout the entire three-year period.
co-workers and bosses with your originality and Cancers with birthdays that fall in June will feel the tests of Saturn first, in 2018.
imaginative powers for the 10 months of 2018 while Those with birthdays from July 1-10 will feel this influence most in 2019, and if you
Jupiter tours Scorpio. were born later, you will feel Saturn most in 2020. By the end of this trend, in
Finally, in fellow water sign Scorpio, Jupiter can help December 2020, you’ll know the strength of your business or personal relationship.
you in a more direct way than it’s been able to do since If you’re still together, Saturn will not be back to this place in your chart until 2047.
2010, because you will be able to absorb its goodness So chances are, you will be together nearly forever.
naturally and organically. In Scorpio, Jupiter will “trine” Each subsequent visit of Saturn – we get a maximum of three – will become
your sun, an astrological term easier since you’ll have
denoting a supreme harmony learnt so much already.
capable of bringing you great
happiness. Your optimism will Where you saw no Saturn also rules old age,
so you get increasingly
rise, and you will feel that life is
sunnier and sweeter. Where possibilities, suddenly comfortable with
presence as you get older.
its
158
aug 24-sep 23
JUPITER’S IMPACT
The big news of the year is the arrival of Jupiter to water sign Scorpio, which will blend beautifully
with your earth sign. Jupiter has not been in Scorpio since 2006, so the trend will feel new and
exciting to you. In a water sign, Jupiter can support your ambitions in a much more powerful way
than it has over the past several years.
Jupiter will stay until November 8, 2018. In that time, it
will light up your solar third house, known to be the hub for
communication arts. This is good news because Virgo is SATURN’S IMPACT
known to be talented in this area. In fact, Virgo produces Almost everyone wants to find someone to love, and that certainly includes
some of the zodiac’s best authors and editors, public you, but your fifth house, where you’ll host Saturn for the next three years, might
speakers, translators and software engineers (where the set up obstacles for you. Saturn won’t prevent love, but it may ask you to
code has to be perfect in every way to work). Now you work harder to be with the one you love. With Saturn, there’s always a lesson
will have the platform you need to express your entwined in the message.
thoughts and have them well-received by your audience. If you date, you may meet someone in a distant city who makes you think
The opportunities will be there for you to blossom. If about whether you can sustain a long-distance relationship. Sooner or later, one
you are in sales (and who isn’t? In truth, everyone sells), of you will have to move, but if neither of you is able, you’ll have to decide
you’ll be quite persuasive and find you can more easily whether to continue the relationship. The problem with a distant relationship is
bring in the order. Jupiter is not only associated with that you both see each another under perfect circumstances – to get a realistic
luck but also with financial bounty, so if you work in view (and Saturn is the planet of objectivity), you have to have access to your
sales, marketing, public relations, advertising copy, partner in good times and bad.
app development or other communications-oriented If you’re dating a person who never told you they’re married, you may find
fields, your possibilities will be endless. out during the course of the three years Saturn is in your fifth house. The lesson of
This same house rules short-distance travel, so your Saturn will be that you were too impressionable or gullible to believe your date
best opportunities will come from places you visit within was single, even when signs were there that your partner was never available to
a day’s drive or a short flight away. If you work in the you at such telltale times as on holidays or weekends. To counter this possibility of
transportation, shipping, courier or travel industries, deception, meet your new date’s friends and family soon, before getting too
business will be brisk, too. involved in the relationship.
In the coming 10 months – taking up most of 2018 If you’re attached and want a baby, conception may take a bit longer than you
– you will have a chance to show off your abilities hoped, so start early. Saturn will never deprive you of a baby, but may test your
in communication. Jupiter, as the good-fortune planet, determination to have one. You might need the advice of a fertility specialist, as the
will expand all it touches, so you’ll be able to fifth house also rules conception, pregnancy and birth. Or you may find parenting
increase your sophistication in this arena. You may set up responsibilities more demanding than you expected. If that’s how Saturn affects
your own blog or website, build a successful app, write you, you’ll get used to the added demands. You will learn to get babysitters to help
a bestselling novel or get a chance to make your or set up reciprocal play dates with other mothers to give you relief from parenting.
own podcast series or radio show. If you work Saturn makes us more mature and helps us understand life in a new way.
in advertising, you may create an award-winning The fifth house covers creativity, too, and since Saturn is the planet of
campaign. So much of the world spins on fine constriction, you might work on a big project that takes more time and money than
communication. You will be valued for your talents and you thought it would, but that makes you proud of what you achieve. Saturn
given a bigger stage in the future. If you feel you are teaches us that it’s through hard work and concentration that we achieve the goals
not talented enough in writing, editing or speaking, 2018 we’re happiest to have done in life.
is the time to take higher-education courses to polish As an earth sign, you will accept the demands of Saturn more easily than other
your performance. It’s worth doing, because the potential signs. Saturn helps us build a firm foundation for the future and find ways to give
for success is so strong. Periods like this don’t come by that meaning to life. During Saturn periods, we work on the grand plan of our lives, and
often, but when they do, you must celebrate being in the next three years, you will choose something you want to add to your life to
showered in good vibrations. make it feel more enriched. >
When Jupiter leaves Scorpio, this bountiful planet will
move into Sagittarius and help you feather your nest. It
will be a glorious time to buy, sell, rent, renovate, decorate
or do anything connected with property. Family news will
be wonderful, and if you have tried to help your mother
Saturn makes us
or father in a specific way but have been at a loss to find
the right solution, by year’s end, all the pieces of your
puzzle will fit into place. Home and hearth will glow
with a warm and cosy feeling, just in time for Christmas.
What a perfect way to end the year.
sep 24-oct 23
JUPITER’S IMPACT
In 2017 you were the celestial favourite because Jupiter, the planet of good fortune, was in Libra. But
you may not have noticed that you were wearing the crown and being protected more than other
signs. The reason is that often during those once-in-12-year periods when Jupiter tours your sign,
you’re so busy planting seeds you don’t realise your life is changing, growing and about to enter
a new profitable phase. Now you will be able to take
stock and make plans. On October 10, 2017, you
transferred your crown to Scorpio as the celestial
favourite, and as Jupiter moves to your second house of SATURN’S IMPACT
earned income until November 8, 2018, you are about Saturn has just arrived in your home sector, suggesting you may be buying,
to see the fruits of your labours. selling or leasing property, or saving up for a big renovation. Saturn will test
This is wonderful news because Jupiter will be on the depth of your determination to achieve a goal, and in your case, the goal
a mission to see that you get paid generously for will likely pertain to property or the care of a family member. As part of this,
your talents, experience and good judgement. You it will be important to look into renter’s or homeowner’s insurance. Saturn will
will get several opportunities throughout the year be in Capricorn, an earth sign, so it might be wise to get earthquake insurance,
to keep climbing higher, and chances are you’ll like even if it’s unlikely that your region would ever experience such an event.
the assignments you work on. It’s been more than When buying a house, ask neighbours if they can recall having to deal with
10 years since you hosted Jupiter in your second a flood, cyclone or other natural disaster.
house of earned income, and no doubt the luck you’ll Be absolutely sure you take on a mortgage you can afford, because
feel will seem surprising. Saturn in the fourth house can make you feel that the cost of maintaining
Your money-making trend will continue for almost a home and paying the mortgage is burdensome. This can be a temporary
a year, so you’ll have plenty of time to bring in cash from feeling, but nevertheless, if life throws you an unanticipated curve, decide how
several sources. Jupiter will cooperate with Pluto (which much you would need in reserve to pay the mortgage and other living
is based in your home and property sector), meaning expenses should you be temporarily out of work.
you could make money from real estate, such as by If you are doing your first major renovation of a home you want to sell, do
renting out your home on Airbnb. Other sources of thorough research of the contractors you’re considering for the job. Ask friends
income might include selling furniture or taking for recommendations and ask the contractor for references. If you are taking
on a roommate or tenant. in a roommate, call for references, too.
Knowing how fortunate you’ll be with money, you There’s another way this trend of Saturn can affect you. During the coming
might want to investigate a new job, or if you are happy three years, you may not focus on your physical home, but on one of your
where you are, have a talk with your boss about a raise parents or a person you think of as a parent. The fourth house of home covers
– do this in May. If you are not working at the moment, parents and certain family members. Even though you may have siblings, you
look all month for possible jobs, whether you prefer may be the one in the best
part-time or full-time work – you may hit on something position to be of help to your
you love to do. My point is, there are many ways to
make money, so find a vocation that you’re passionate
about because, in the end, passion and love for your
parent during this period. You
may organise the payment of
bills, help your mother or father
Saturn will
job will always determine ultimate success
Also this year, connected to Jupiter’s visit to Scorpio,
find a doctor or a suitable
assisted-living facility. Learning test the
you may spend money on something you dearly want,
and something that is fairly expensive. If you have been
to be of assistance to an
elderly person can bring joy, depth of your
saving up and can afford the prize, why not buy it? You
might buy a car, a piece of art or jewellery, new
knowing you are doing the
most you can to bring comfort, determination
to achieve
electronic equipment or you may even buy a house. peace of mind and a sense of
You don’t have to think as big as these things. You may security to the person who
prefer to choose a smaller luxury occasionally rather means so much to you.
than spending on something very expensive – such as
scheduling a massage after work and going home
feeling like pampered royalty.
Remember, the money you receive will involve an initiation from you, so don’t book a flight to
a goal
Las Vegas and hope to try your luck at the blackjack table. Don’t buy lottery tickets. You will
likely earn your cash – and that means if you can earn a million dollars, you can earn two million,
and no-one can say you didn’t deserve it.
160
SATURN’S IMPACT
For the next three years, Saturn will be in your communication sector, a far easier
place to host Saturn than when it was in Sagittarius. Over the past three years,
Saturn in your second house limited your income. Now, that income cap
comes off, and you will find that life has become easier and more fun when
you see you’ll be able to afford several luxuries that were previously out of
reach. With Saturn setting up shop in your communication-oriented third
house, it will help you polish your ability to speak and write in an effective way.
If you like, you can sign up for a creative-writing class, which would stimulate
JUPITER’S IMPACT your thinking and help you in all phases of your communication, both creatively
In 2018, you are the celestial favourite as and in business. Brushing up on your grammar will also give you confidence
good-fortune Jupiter will glide through your when writing. If you’re a veteran writer, you’ll see your work become more
sign for the first time in 12 years, staying with sophisticated, and the hard work you put in will pay off in both pride and money.
you until November 8, 2018. It’s sure to be In this house, Saturn will also help you become more effective in your
a memorable, lucky year – you’ll find negotiating style. You may decide to read several books on the subject so you
you’re at the right place at the right time and can get a win-win result for you and the other party in the talks you enter into.
able to take advantage of opportunities The third house rules siblings, too, so in the coming years you might want to
you’ve only dreamt about. check in with your sister or brother more often. They may face a challenge
Many new faces will enter your sphere, during a portion of the coming three years, and you will be in a position to help
including VIPs who will want to help you. them – the choice will be yours. Remember, when people undergo a hard
Others you meet socially will become time, they can be reluctant to ask for help. So keep your antenna up and if you
important friends, exposing you to new spot anything amiss in regard to your sibling, offer a helping hand.
interests and more new contacts, and Finally, the third house also rules short-distance travel. You may need a new
encouraging you to develop your talents. If car, as Saturn might bring the need for costly repairs. Consider whether the
you’re single, among all the people you’ll repairs are worth the cost compared to the price of a new car. As odd as this
rub shoulders with, one face is likely to stand may sound, it will be easier for you to travel internationally than to locations
out. Take this romantic interest seriously, within a day’s drive. As part of your job, you may also have to travel more than
even if your first instinct is not to do so. Of all usual – say, within 200km of your home. Even though this is a relatively short
the transiting aspects possible in a chart, distance, you may need time to get used to this new, more frequent situation.
having Jupiter in your own sign and touring But there’s no need to worry – none of the factors that you will face
your first house of personality (as you have) between now and when Saturn leaves this communication and transportation
is the most favourable aspect to foster house, in December 2020, will be overly challenging. In fact, you will find the
a fateful meeting with a person who could adjustments more straightforward than you did when Saturn was in your
be the love of your life. If you’re attached, financial house. Life will get easier and breezier – and that’s a promise. >
your love will grow closer and deeper, and
if you hope for a child, this would be the
time to get serious about it.
Your health is due to improve, too, along with job opportunities and financial
benefits. It’s rare to have a year like the one you are entering (Jupiter takes
12 years to circle the sun, so you only get one of these years every 12 years).
You will be more optimistic and energetic, and feel ready to tackle a big goal
that may have once seemed out of reach. You will have a chance to travel,
too, because Jupiter will want to open your mind to exciting new cultures. If you
do, it will be a trip that you’ll never forget.
The seeds you plant from now until November 8, 2018, will forge the way to
a new cycle of prosperity when Jupiter enters Sagittarius, where it will stay until
December 2, 2019. This period will be contingent on all the actions you take prior
to November 8, so make appointments with as many influential people as possible
and present your ideas. By the time Jupiter moves into Sagittarius, you will see
reward for your efforts. While not all your projects will bear fruit, more than the usual
number will. It’ll be vital you know what you want to achieve and turn over every
stone until you get to where you want to be – and Jupiter will help you get there.
It’s
th
JUPITER’S IMPACT
Jupiter, your ruler and giver of gifts and luck, will travel through Scorpio until November 8,
2018. With Jupiter in your 12th house from now on, you’ll be highly productive when working
alone in a behind-the-scenes role. You may need to do research, writing, editing or any work
that requires solitude to get it as polished as you would like.
With Jupiter in this position, you will have support from powerful people, but you might not
know they’re helping you as they may want to remain anonymous. If you need to focus on
a physical or psychological concern, do so with optimism
– Jupiter’s move into Scorpio will give you a superb
outlook for healing and recovery, and you’ll be able to
locate distinguished, caring professionals to help you. SATURN’S IMPACT
During this time, your intuition and creativity will be Your life is set to change for the better, and you’ll feel this almost immediately. For
very high, and again, the universe is whispering that three years, starting in December 2014, Saturn has been in Sagittarius, testing your
you should work on your craft while alone so that you mettle, pushing and prodding you to meet some difficult life tests. Looking back,
can concentrate without distraction. If you’re working you likely established a new role for yourself. Whatever it was, whether it was
on a book, screenplay or thesis, this position of Jupiter through marriage, parenthood or as a leader in your industry, you no doubt took
will be one of the best you could ever wish to be given on more responsibility. At times, life seemed arduous, but now you are emerging
because it means you’ll have an outstanding chance to stronger – and you’re ready for more.
reach success. Now, with Saturn entering Capricorn and your second house of earned
During the coming months, it will be important to income, this planet will teach you the value of the money you earn and how to get
reflect on what goals you would like to tackle next. You the most from each dollar. Saturn is known to impart wisdom, so you may be
would also be wise to delete the parts of your life that motivated to invest in conservative ventures that bring long-term growth. If you’re
you find unfulfilling. You’re older and wiser now, and working on building your business, you may be investing in it and temporarily
things formerly on your list to accomplish may seem feeling cash poor. Saturn often asks for sacrifice of pleasures in the short term in
juvenile now. You’ll need to also make room in your life favour of accomplishing an important goal that will become a pillar to your life.
for the goodies Jupiter will bring, otherwise you’ll be During the coming three years, you will need to take stock of your value to
overloaded with present obligations, unable to take the marketplace. What talents do you have that you can develop, or if you
advantage of any of the new elements. If you don’t do have already developed them, what fees can the marketplace bear to pay,
this weeding out, the universe will do it for you, and you considering the current state of the economy in your region? Yet life is often
might see elements of your life being taken out with the made up of more than financial decisions. Some professions pay more generously
tide. But don’t worry – the universe will only take but don’t allow you to contribute as much to society. What is important to you?
the unproductive parts. There is no right or wrong answer.
Jupiter will then be with you in Sagittarius for a year, When signing contracts while you have Saturn in the second house
from November 8, 2018, until December 2, 2019. That of personal resources, be sure not to “give away the store”. In your enthusiasm to
means you will have plenty of time to get ready to make make the deal, you may give away too much to the other party involved. Make
use of that coming glorious year. You’ve waited 11 years sure you go over the contract with a lawyer and take several days to think carefully
for this amazing privilege, so you only have a little less about the deal before you sign on the dotted line. Saturn can also often create
than one more year to go before you can wear fear, and in the coming three years, there will be times when you may fear you will
the glittering crown of the celestial favourite. Your special run out of money. This may be an irrational fear, or it may be rooted in a realistic
year will be filled with travel, romance, good health, view. Either way, the question is, how can you make adjustments to your income or
career success, opportunity and more. Prepare, dear outgoings so that you can have enough money to live, and be able to let go of the
Sagittarius. The best for you is just around the corner. fear of not having enough?
sagi
You are fortunate in 2018 as Uranus, the planet of innovation, will be in fine
angle to Saturn, the planet of stability. By taking a well-thought-out risk, you can
nov 23-dec 22
build a platform on which to create a grand plan for the future.
You need to
make room in
your life for the
goodies Jupiter
will bring
162
APRI N
C
dec 23-jan 20
SATURN’S IMPACT
It’s time to get ready to tackle a big goal, one that can’t be easily “undone” later. It
will represent one of the major pillars that will hold up your life. If you’re young,
what you’ll experience will be for the first time. Speaking of time, suddenly you will
want your time to count for something big, and you will be very cognisant of the
need not to waste time. You may get married or have a baby, or you may buy your
first house or move abroad. If you work for others, you may soon take on a very
responsible job. Saturn expects you to make a commitment to a major goal now
and it will want to see you devote full attention to the cause, without distraction.
There are no excuses when you are going through a tutoring session with Saturn.
Saturn entered Capricorn and your first house of personality and vitality on
JUPITER’S IMPACT December 20, 2017, and is set to stay until December 17, 2020. By that time, you
The flurry of excitement is all about Jupiter’s will have matured admirably and be viewed in a new light. Sometimes when
recent move into Scorpio, where it will stay until we go through a Saturn period like you’re about to do, you can feel isolated,
November 8, 2018. Jupiter is the giver of gifts, devoid of the usual sources of support you’re used to depending on. Saturn
prosperity and growth, and its only mission is to does this so you can find the strength within. By the time you’re done with this
make you happy. transit, you will feel a new pride in independence.
From September 2016 to October 10, 2017, Saturn in Capricorn can be quite draining to your health, so it will be vital to
you hosted Jupiter in your 10th house of career, eat right and get enough sleep. Saturn is known to siphon calcium from the
and you may have taken a big step up in your body, so see your doctor to find out if supplements are needed, and keep up
professional life. Now, in a move to bring more visits to the dentist. One possible bonus is that Saturn shrinks what it touches – in
balance to your life, Jupiter will see that you get this case, you may lose weight during the coming three years, if only because
out of the office and have more fun, too. You are you will be run off your feet.
the most career-driven of all signs, so the idea of If you have done anything wrong in any part of life, Saturn tends to have a way
taking time off to socialise might not appeal to of pushing you back on the straight and narrow. Much depends on how life
you. You don’t like the idea of wasting time, but has proceeded so far, but this is nothing to dread – the universe wants you to
taking regular breaks has been shown to help live a productive, happy life, and Saturn will show you how to make corrections in
increase productivity and original thinking. your course now.
New people you meet in 2018 will have Saturn takes 29 years to revolve around the sun, so its advice has to be
a stimulating effect on you. They will introduce unforgettable. This is why it makes you work hard for your gains. The upside is that
you to new concepts and ideas as well as the victories you score will be yours forever and the ones you will be ultimately
influential people, so you should make an effort proudest to say that you achieved. You will gain authority, wisdom and become
to leave the office occasionally at a decent more realistic. Saturn does not send its greatest rewards during the tutoring
hour. You have not hosted Jupiter in your 11th session, but will do so just after the planet makes its exit – Saturn always leaves
house of friendship since November 2006, so a gift by the door as a thank you for dealing with its rigours. You can expect this
this trend will seem very new to you. It may also to happen in late December 2020 or January 2021, and they will be gifts that
seem like a breath of fresh air. you value over all others. >
Consider joining a club, whether professional
decide to pass the baton by becoming a mentor to a younger person who has
a number of business questions. In this case, you will be able to illustrate your
advice with practical, helpful anecdotes.
The 11th house also rules hopes and wishes, so it may be time to examine your
dreams to see if they still hold fascination for you. You may let go of some and add
new ones. With Saturn in this house, you may start work on a dream that will take
time to develop – Saturn will give you a strong sense of purpose and sustainability
so you can succeed in grasping that dream. Don’t give up, even if the climb up the
mountain to the peak seems arduous. When you get to your destination, having
had to work so hard to get there, it will be all the sweeter. E
165
ask
ADVICE:
THROWING HIS
WEIGHT AROUND
I’m married to a handsome, exciting
e jean
and very fit man. We’ve had our ups and
downs, but in general we make a good
team. But here’s the thing: he constantly
fat-shames me, to the point that he’s hardly
been able to look at me naked for years.
He’s gone through periods where it gets
so bad that he appears physically ill if
Tormented? Driven witless? Fear not, I walk out of the bathroom without a towel.
help is just a short letter away He often tells me that certain clothes
don’t look good on me, and criticises
and you motivation. Meanwhile, don’t throw me over my wrinkles and acne. Maybe
TAKE THAT BROKEN the mementos of your ex-chap away – I have once a year I get his ultimate compliment:
HEART FOR A SPIN plans for them. And now you’re ready for... “You look nice.” I work out five days
I’ve just had my first real, true heartbreak THE BEST WAY TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART: a week and eat healthily, but whether
and I don’t know where to go from here. Pick a mountain, pack a bag and hit the I’m extremely fit or have a few extra
Everything was lovely and I was the road – nothing hurls a woman beyond kilos around my middle doesn’t seem
happiest I’ve ever been – until one day, heartache like a road trip. You’ve probably to make a difference. Our sex life is
a girl from his past returned. I trusted him. never dared play music as loud as you want, surprisingly good, considering. Yes,
I shouldn’t have. Even as we broke up, he but road-trip loud is the volume you’ll need. the lights have to be out, but there are
said it wasn’t about her, but a few days Music will not only blow the chap right out of still plenty of fireworks, and he initiates
after we ended it, I found out he’d cheated your head, it’ll become the canvas on which things on a regular basis.
on me with her. I’d always planned on you can project your future. You’ll also Last weekend it was really hot, so
staying in this town for him, but now I don’t perhaps be astounded to find you can eat I wore a bikini. Since then, he hasn’t
know what’s keeping me here. I feel like a whole litre of ice-cream in a motel room stopped with the “So-and-so’s wife lost
I’m caught in some sort of weird limbo. I’ve while sitting on a vibrating bed, and that heaps of weight by eliminating bread from
started jogging. But other than that, how throwing mementos from life with the her diet.” I bought a new dress that looks
do I keep going on with my life? Most of ex-chap into various village-square fountains better on me than anything I’ve worn in
my friends are his friends, so I’m lonely across the country is more fun than tossing years, and when I put it on, he looked
now, too. My family and I aren’t close, coins into the Trevi in Rome. away with a pained expression on his face.
so I can’t turn to them. I don’t want to go You will discover novel places to live and My patience is now zero. I’m heading
back, because I know I deserve better, but people to admire, figure out possibilities for towards my mid-forties and I try talking
what does moving forward entail? I don’t what’s “next” and, in the evenings, when it’s to him about it, but he gets very angry,
even know where I’m headed! How do too dark to drive, you’ll meet new friends on turns it around and says, “You just don’t
I get to the next, and better, part of my life? Bumble. And if one of those friends turns out understand how important it is to me.”
– LETTER WRITER FROM LIMBO to be a handsome lad – ha! – rebounding Then he shuts down completely. Or
Limbo, My Tiger Lily Come here, let me give just happens to be the second best way to worse, he starts offering “ideas” about
you a hug. And a Tylenol. Science shows get past a broken heart. And when you arrive how I could “lose weight” and “tone up”.
pain relievers work on emotional as well as at that mountain? The answer to your question I love him, but this makes me want to leave
physical pain. A glass of Moët is, of course, – “Where am I heading?” – is waiting at the him. We’ve built such a great life together
effective, too. There are only about 500 top. Climb it to find it. Good luck! (I didn’t mention our two wonderful,
years of research proving that when love
arrives, we expect champagne. When love
goes, we need it. We’re all just astonishingly
naive when it comes to heartbreak. First we’re
half-dead with the pain, then slowly, slowly,
Q. Do you believe it’s necessary
to forgive an injustice (no matter
it retreats till – boom! – it jumps out of its little
basket where it’s been hiding in our hearts, how angry you are) to be healthy?
sniffs the balls of our new boyfriend and
vanishes. So yes. Jogging is good. Starting
a heartbreak diary is good. Flirting is very
good. Volunteering at the senior centre,
A. No. You must use your anger
at an injustice to galvanise changes
wheeling a couple of old dolls outside in the
sun and asking them for their heartbreak tips in the world. (But you can forgive
is very, very good. It will give them comfort a blunder by a block-headed lover.)
166
Q. I’m a teacher,
unmotivated,
nearly grown kids); I don’t think I could
actually do it. What I want is just for
at you – and says, “You just don’t understand
unhappy and
once to feel beautiful in his presence.
how important” it is to him. So what he has
to do is find out why he needs a scrawny, lost in a sea of
– SOFT IN THE MIDDLE
Miss Soft, Hail, Brilliant Woman When
underweight, under-his-thumb wife. And you,
according to my theorem (below), have to
schoolwork. I can’t
I saw your name on the email, I was stunned. find the courage to leave the marriage. help dreaming of
I’m a fan of yours. It doesn’t happen often
that I have books on my shelves written by GREAT EXPECTATIONS a new career
the very person who’s writing to me, so if you How do you know when it’s time to quit? involving my
don’t mind, let me ask you for advice. If your
daughter began dating a guy who called
I run a small non-profit. I knew there
were issues (lack of finances, lack of passion. But, at
her “fat”, and hounded her about “acne”, board engagement, etc) that could prove 30, am I too old
and tormented her to “tone up”, and looked
“physically ill” when she put on a swimsuit,
to be obstacles to success, and so before
I took the job, I had a frank conversation to start over?
what would you advise her? Would you tell
her to stay with him until she feels “beautiful
in his presence”? Or would you tell her to
give him a running kick out the door?
with the chairman. He assured me that my
concerns were their concerns and the
problems would be fixed.
Cut to a year later: I’m totally burned
A. Seventy is
the best age
One more question, Miss Soft: what
image of womanhood is your husband
out. The support, staff and money I was
told would be there are not. I’ve lost my
for starting over
presenting to your kids with his flood of sense of humour and my work-life balance (tough old eggs
abuse towards you? His pestering you
about wrinkles? His anger at your getting
is abysmal. The pressure to continue at an
increasing pace with our limited capacity have nothing to
older? His irrational badgering about your is unsupportable. I keep wondering, is lose). Fifty is also
weight, your clothes, your skin, your looks?
When I say irrational, I actually mean
this just a low point in the process? Is
there something I’m failing to do or could excellent (all that
insane. Because I’ve seen recent photos of do better? Admittedly, I’ve always been experience). And
you – you, the disappointing, fat wife who
must live like a mole rat in the dark and dare
attracted to “challenging” (read: sinking
ship) situations and have started seeing a young lass of
not show herself naked – and (of course!)
it turns out you’re slim. And very spectacular
a therapist to address the issue. One part
of me wants to run screaming, and the
30? Despite your
and attractive to look at. He may not be other feels like quitting would make me naivety, I believe
dislocating your jaw and kicking you across
the floor, but he’s dislocating your very
a failure or ruin opportunities down the
road. I see two possibilities: continue at
you can do it, too!
essence. When you ask him to stop, “He the gulag that allows me to pay my bills,
gets very angry, turns it around” – gets mad or quit to feed pigeons in the park down
the street from my biggest triumphs on no money I’ve ever
E JEAN’S apartment, where I will beheld in my life.
STAY MARRIED/GET DIVORCED likely end up living. The first duty of a small non-profit is to get
THEOREM – GULAG GIRL away with the impossible. You have done
Gulag, My Love Phoo! You that. Blazingly! No doubt there are evolving
A) HE C) DUMP HIM know it’s time to quit when quagmires with which every non-profit
TELLS IMMEDIATELY you sign yourself off as contends, and which I can’t see without an
Photography: Gregg Delman. Styling: Christian Stroble. Hair: Eduardo Carrasco at
YOU
YOU’RE
“Gulag Girl”. But here’s the audit. But stop yammering to a therapist
FAT fascinating thing about your about being “attracted” to “challenging
non-profit. I’ve looked it up
Ford Artists NYC. Makeup: Sylwia Rakowska at Ford Artists NYC
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LAST PAGE, ...TEXT
SO IT’S ONLY With actress, mother, Your Zen MESSAGE
FITTING Life founder, Audi Australia YOU
THAT WE ASK brand ambassador (and avid RECEIVED?
“Bodhi pooped the bed again.”
bingo fan) Teresa Palmer
...POST YOU
...TEXT
TAGGED YOUR
BEST FRIEND IN?
MESSAGE
A throwback to my 21st
birthday. My dad dressed
YOU SENT?
“Can you come and get the
up as Father Christmas and baby out of the bath please?”
did the most outlandish
speech in the world. ...THING
YOU BOUGHT
...PHOTO YOU TOOK WITH CASH?
ON YOUR PHONE? Touristy “Welcome to Australia”
...TIME YOU FELT ...TIME YOU A picture of me and my son towels. We were on a walk in
REALLY HAPPY? SANG KARAOKE? Bodhi, trying to explain to Sydney with all three kids and
At my [baby] son Forest Three years ago I did a friend how sick he was. everyone was freezing, so we
conquering cruising along the a horrendous rendition of all wrapped ourselves up.
furniture. I feel pure happiness Florence + The Machine’s ...PIECE OF
when I see him so excited “You’ve Got The Love” in front CLOTHING ...TIME YOU
about what he’s achieving. of the cast of one of my films. YOU BOUGHT? WERE STARSTRUCK?
Everyone still brings it up. A Port Power [Port Adelaide I’d be starstruck by Eminem,
...INVESTMENT PIECE Football Club] onesie for Forest but I haven’t met him yet!
YOU BOUGHT? ...BOOK YOU READ? before we went to the footy.
My house. [It was] my dad’s Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May ...TIME YOU
HUNG OUT WITH
property in Adelaide. We kind
of did a swap – he relocated
Gaskin, when I was 39 weeks
pregnant with Forest. ...GIFT YOU YOUR BESTIE?
to the city, and we went from
city to country. ...SONG
YOU PLAYED
GAVE?
A vegan cookbook, beauty
I hung out with my best friend
of 25 years at playgroup –
she brought her daughter and
ON ROTATION? products and doTerra I brought Forest. They were
“Doo Wop (That Thing)” essential oils to one of loud and hogging the toys!
by Lauryn Hill. Bodhi’s preschool teachers,
who’s just become vegan. ...THING ONE OF
YOUR CHILDREN
...VACATION YOU TOOK?
To Soneva Fushi in the Maldives. We were bike riding through
...MEAL YOU
COOKED?
GAVE YOU?
A little purple flower that Bodhi
The Miseducation Of Lauryn Hill
the jungle, swimming with the kids and looking at sharks. I haven’t Smashed avo with crushed picked from a garden yesterday.
been able to recharge on a holiday like that for a long time. tomatoes, garlic, olive oil,
pepper and Himalayan salt.
...PARTY YOU
WENT TO?
YOU FOLLOWED
An Out Of Africa-themed
kick-off party at Audi Hamilton
ON INSTAGRAM?
@roxylola.
Island Race Week. I got very ...TIME YOU CRIED?
competitive with the bingo. Watching the Michael Jackson
documentary This Is It.
@roxylola
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