Escolar Documentos
Profissional Documentos
Cultura Documentos
Monday
30 October 2006
Published by the
USSU Comms. Office.
Issue Number 1104
FREE
www.ussu.co.uk
United We Stand!
In this 24
page edition
The contents of this paper are completely inedible. Please do not use it for this purpose again!
NEWS
baref
barefacts
2 30 October 200
20066
editorial team
Editor-in-Chief
Greg Scott
ussu.president@surrey.ac.uk
Editorial Surrey Stud
AFTER AN EXTREMELY unlucky week I thought Here’s our second ever Surrey Stud... and isn’t
my bad luck was sure to run out. However
he a hunk? Think you’re hotter? Drop us a line:
on the day of the Cocktail Party, one band
Editor
dropped out, the man with van who normally bf.features@gmail.com
Sophia Hawkins
delivers the paper was off sick which meant
ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk NAME: Andy Mac
I had to deliver them around campus myself
in my little Punto which seemingly couldn’t AGE: 19
Deputy Editor
handle the job and passed out. (Well, OK, the
Anne Abeygunasekera
gear stick snapped) The result was a very stressed Soph who had 45 STATUS: Single and
eep1aa@surrey.ac.uk Looking
minutes to get changed for the night AND make sure everything was
sorted for the Cocktail Party; my phone was constantly ringing…
Deputy Editor DEGREE COURSE:
But, the night was fantastic, I had such a good time and the people 2nd Year Music. The
Toby Shannon
who were there also had a great time, check out the pictures from the A Course
ph51ts@surrey.ac.uk
night on page 6 The band was fantastic; to find out more about them
turn to page 6 of this issue. STARSIGN:
Head of Design Whatever you want
The Surrey Stud seemed very popular last issue; but we seem to
Joshua Bates it to be baby..!!
be lacking volunteers. If you would like to grace the pages of bare-
mail@oh-my-josh.com
facts then please send a picture of yourself looking gorgeous at the FAVE FILM:
usual address; ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk or get in touch with the Serenity
Head of Marketing &
features team. We are also looking for our first ever Campus Honey,
Promotions
so girls, just before you head to the union looking hot take a pic and FAVE COLOUR:
Position Vacant Blue.. coz I’m a man
send it in.
I hope you all have a fantastic fortnight, there are lots going on so
News Editor
make sure you get involved. Whether it be getting spooked on Friday LIKES: Girls, X Factor, Frisbee, Aikido, Watching chick flicks/movies
Mike Blakeney
at Halloween flirt, watching the Uni Fireworks display on the 3rd No- with my housemates.
bf.newsdesk@gmail.com
vember or supporting Breast Cancer awareness month by going along
to the ‘Pink Party,’ on 30th November. DISLIKES: Washing up, people who talk politics ALL the time,
Arts Editors Marmite and being beaten up by Scotsmen.
As always I’m happy to hear your thoughts, be they good or bad, so
Patrick Hunter & Jake South
keep in touch; ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk.
bf.arts@gmail.com ANY OTHER COMMENT: I’ve been single for ages... I’m hoping
Features Editors
Much love, barefacts can help!!
Sophia, Editor
Fancy hooking up with the surrey stud?
Sophie Iredale &
surrey_stud@hotmail.co.uk
Saffron Wreakes
Postgraduate Editor
Position Vacant
BY MIKE BLAKENEY piece of paper round the classroom. But this
Science & Tech. Editor NEWS EDITOR is to support students who silently disengage.
Alan Terry There can be hundreds of students attending
bf.science@yahoo.co.uk TWO UNIVERSITIES ARE testing a new system of lectures, and 10-20% can be missing without
clocking in for students at lectures and tutori- the lecturer realising.
Societies Editor als as part of an attempt to cut drop-out rates, “In humanities last year we identified 35 stu-
Eleanor Tyler and improve attendance. The system in place dents who would have withdrawn if we had
bf.societies@gmail.com at Glamorgan University and Napier Univer- not intervened. It is life-changing. A false start
sity, Edinburgh, has received derision from the in the first few weeks of university can be dev-
Sports Editors NUS, who declared it “draconian” and said astating. Students were sceptical originally but
Matt Cheetham & it tagged students like criminals. Nine more are now supportive.”
Anthony Hanson universities have declared their interest in the In response to the scheme, Gemma Tume-
bf.sport@gmail.com idea. lty, president of the NUS said that she recog-
The system works using a baton which lec- nised drop-out rates needed to be addressed,
Copy Editor turers pass around during the lecture or tuto- but questioned whether these schemes would
Paul Sanderson rial, whereby students can then use a key ring work when much of the problem could be at- attainment. Students who miss out irregularly,
li31ps@surrey.ac.uk with their university enrolment number en- tributed to rising debt. we are not going to target. They may have had
coded into it, to clock in to their lecture. Staff “Rather than employing draconian tactics a bit of a late night the night before. Students
Webmaster can then follow a students attendance via com- and treating these students like criminals by are targeted if they miss three consecutive
Pete Nattress puter. effectively tagging them ... we believe more learning events ... Over 50% of our students
cs51pn@surrey.ac.uk Steve Thomas, a principal lecturer at Glamor- should be done to address the underlying rea- work part-time and we are finding a lot of our
gan University, said: “This is not a compulsory sons behind poor attendance.” students who work in take-aways on a Thurs-
Marketing Co-ordinator tagging system. Students can just pass the ba- Advisers at the university who look at pat- day night are missing a Friday morning.”
Aaron Salins ton on. Monitoring attendance at university is terns of attendance claimed that, “There is a
a.salins@surrey.ac.uk not new; traditionally lecturers have passed a distinct correlation between attendance and bf.newsdesk@gmail.com
baref
barefacts NEWS
30 October 200
20066 3
Letters to barefacts
Letters must be received by midday on Friday 3rd November to guarantee
their presence in the next newspaper. Letters may be edited for length or clarity.
ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
The Rant Wanted: 1 Duck! pub on our campus. This year, however, it’s just been
disappointment after disappointment.
Continues...
I couldn’t wait to go for my first lunch at Channies after
Dear barefacts, the long summer break, however I was saddened to learn that
my favourite, the chicken chimiwhatsit had been taken off
To whom do the ducks by the lake belong to? I ask this the menu. My friend and I loved the chicken chimiwhatsit so
Dear barefacts,
because I have noticed that one has gone missing, and yet much we even made up a song in it’s honour complete with
there are no posters asking for its return, dead or alive, with dance moves:
In the last edition (issue 1103) Joshua Bates responded
reward. In that case, I assume they belong to no-one. ‘ooh eee ooh aaa aaa chicken chimi walla walla bing
to the general rants of the edition before that (issue 1102).
Now, how did I know that a duck had gone missing? Did I bang...ooh eee ooh aaa aaa chicken chimi walla walla bing
Alan Terry had complained of people standing too close
sit idly by the lake and diligently count them? No, sadly not. baaaaang...’
behind him in the queue in One Stop, of excessively loud
The reason I am writing is to confess that I killed that duck. I settled for a burger with bacon and cheese instead but what
background music in Chancellors, and of halls of residence
But since it belongs to no-one, it doesn’t matter right? I actually got was one of those chickpea burgers. I sent this
shortcomings. Josh added a very reasonable complaint of his
Here’s how I did it, and why. You see, I ran out of food over back and in return got my burger... except it didn’t have any
own, about how all the vending machines on campus have
the weekend, and was walking over to Tesco via the long and bacon! This was also sent back only for them to give it straight
become empty. I would like to say here that I sympathise with
scenic path by the lake. And the ducks caught my eye. This is back along with my 50p explaining there was no bacon left.
his dissatisfaction. Recently I wanted a bar of chocolate, went
not the first time it has happened, but on this occasion I was On another occasion I orderd a Greek Salad, which was
to the nearest vending machine, and there was nothing in it. I
hungry. A thought entered my mind: free food!!! No-one’s yummy except for the fact it didn’t have the pitta bread with
was naturally disgusted.
around. I walked thoughtfully towards the ducks who were it.
I wish to rant about some things of my own. There always
blissfully ignorant about what was about to happen. They I will continue to eat at Channies despite these disappointments
seems to be building work going on all over campus. And
were so docile I was able to just walk up to a nice fat one and because the staff there are great, they are friendly and really
yet the place remains as ugly as ever. The layout of campus
asked it if it would mind being eaten. I think it didn’t. do put their customers first. The food, when it arrives isn’t
is as if a giant picked up a load of buildings and dropped
So I took it into my kitchen, boiled it, removed the feathers, half bad either.
them randomly on a hill. Also, why did they drain the pond
then did a roast for my friends the next day. “Mmm. Tastes But please, Chancellors bar, put me out my misery, can we
recently, only to fill it straight back up again? I think there are
like chicken,” they said. Little did they know… please have the Chicken Chimichanga back on the menu? Even
people with spare time on their hands here. Finally, there are
I’m thinking, maybe next week we could have it again. if it appears as a special for a week I would be delighted.
automatic doors all over campus but half the time they don’t
I could bring my bow and arrow (archery club very useful)
work. Perhaps they should be relabelled as semi-automatic?
and get the smarter, fatter ducks that swim in the middle of Yours sincerely,
I don’t mind if a door is automatic or not but I do mind being
the lake. CATCH ME IN CHANCELLORS
misled as to the behaviour of the door I’m approaching. It’s
Now, how many people can say that they have hunted for
annoying.
their dinner, and I don’t mean hunting in the fridge for that
ready meal you bought the other day? I suggest you try. It
Yours sincerely,
JOHN POND
is an enlightening experience and duck meat is good quality.
The ducks are still there. Just don’t all rush at once. They
Got something
barefacts Editor, Sophia Hawkins, responds:
might become extinct.
Here’s the ‘surprise’. I didn’t really do all this (animal lovers
you want to say?
collective sigh of relief). This is just a wake up call to those
As Editor of barefacts I’d like to make some comments on
who want to protect the ducks and those who actually own the
your letters. I appreciate what you have to say and take
on board your rants, but I feel you are being unecessarily
ducks. Some students might want free food or might want to
know what duck tastes like. I suggest a large sign by the lake
barefacts is the
argumntative. We must also consider the good parts of Surrey
University; for there are many.
for all to see with the advice ‘Eat less duck’ or ‘No hunting
allowed’ if you don’t want ducks to go missing. But if you
place to get
I guess it’s a matter of opinion whether the University is
ugly, but we have to remember why we are here; and thats
don’t like ducks (of the living variety), then…
yourself heard,
not just for an education but for the whole student experience.
Surrey excels in both these areas, so whether we sit in a
dreary ugly looking building thats just been plonked on a hill
Yours sincerely,
ANONYMOUS so use it!
is irrelevent.
As for the pond and people having, ‘spare time on their
hands,’ why don’t you, instead of writing to barefacts, use this A Call for the ussu.barefacts
@surrey.ac.uk
Return of the
time to find out the facts about why they drained the pond. Or
why don’t you set up a ‘Anti-Automatic Door’ society. I’m
sure you’d have a huge following!
Chicken Chimi!
Sometimes in life just whinging gets us nowhere... and you
have to go and make a stand for things you are passionate
about. If you really are that disatisfied with UniS then do Letters, articles...
something about it.
get involved!
Dear barefacts,
BY STANLEY EDWARDS
It’s Getting Hot in Here! cycling or using energy efficient light bulbs in all your rooms.
These activities are all critically important in reducing our
CLIMATE CHANGE IS EVERYWHERE, regularly newspapers and carbon consumption and thus our output of CO2.
news programmes present articles with ever more compelling The main critique offered by people of this is that it actu-
evidence, or ever more dire consequences. ally doesn’t solve the problem and the reductions it gives are
Europe has in the last four years seen some of the driest negligible when compared to the output cause internationally
summers of recent times, this summer there were warnings of by other countries. Although I don’t agree that recycling etc.
hosepipe bans and other restrictions to rival those of 1976. are fruitless endeavours I do agree that governments MUST
Farther a field there have also been noticeable changes. act to prevent the behemoth arising before us.
Around the equatorial regions, most notably the Gulf of Mex- Since our government is a democracy and thus works for us
ico, hurricane season has been both increasing in duration and the best way to enact that change is to show them the over-
intensity. The terrible events of hurricane Katrina are often whelming public concern on this issue. Students have always
sighted as the result of increased climate change (a point the warning us (perhaps rightly) about our ever increasing fossil been known for their concern for such issues and for their
Bush administration quickly denied). fuel usage. This has a tendency to discourage people or make ability to effectively mobilise for important events. So on
Further north, there have been continuing reports of the them dismiss the whole thing. However, the issue has become November 4th there is a large march organised by the ‘Stop
ever decreasing Greenland ice sheets and the potential this enough of a concern that mainstream politicians are actively Climate Chaos Coalition’ which consists of organisations
has to disrupt the Gulf-Stream which is responsible for bring- including climate change legislation in their election policies as ‘Campaign against Climate Change’, ‘Greenpeace’, and
ing tropical heat from the equator to Western Europe, thus and actively making efforts to win what has been dubbed the many others. The University of Surrey’s ‘People and Planet’
increasing our temperatures. As a result Britain, may see ‘green vote’. group will be attending, so if you are interested e-mail ‘unis.
harsher winters. What about individuals? How are the general public to help pandp@hotmail.co.uk’ it’s a great opportunity to show your
It all appears very doom and gloom, with scientists warning with this seemingly now inevitable problem? There are many support for the cause, meet new people, get involved, and just
of the ‘point of no return’ and heralding its arrival and groups publications and action plans involving activities such as re- genuinely enjoy yourself.
COCKTAIL PARTY
baref
barefacts
6 30 October 200
20066
Don’t Eat The Red Ones Probably “Zombie” by the Cranberries or “Weak” by
Skunk Anansie. The audience loves them and it gives
everyone a chance to perform onstage to his or her
potential.
In ten?
Dominating the music scene all over the world
In twenty?
Dominating the music scene all over the Universe? Just
to be recognised would be nice!!
AgonySistersToTheRescue
Welcome to the new and improved problems section! From now on any problems you have shall be answered by the one and only Agony
Sisters, Sophie and Saffron. We hope to expand this section quite a bit so any problems you have, write to us and we’ll give you our valuable
advice...then it’s up to you whether you take it or not! Here’s what we have been sent this issue:
People who don’t get their Library cards Mobile Phone Contract Upgrades:
out until they get to the turnstile:
The Problem:
The Problem: Don’t get me wrong, I love my mobile phone and couldn’t live without it,
but recently it’s become a real pain in the backside. My contract has
You know that you’re going to need the card as soon as you get in the reached the end of its life and as a result I am being barraged by texts,
library, so how hard can it be to just reach into that pocket, or wallet, or calls and emails about upgrading my handset and changing contract
wherever you keep you card, and get it out in preparation, instead of creat- – every five minutes. I have upgraded my phone, through my network
ing a queue at the turnstile? It’s not that I’m keen to get into the library, but provider, but it hasn’t stopped the calls or texts, still wanting me to up-
it’s annoying if I have to stand around waiting while someone digs about grade. And before you ask, I have sent them a text telling them to stop as
for their card. The same applies to the London Underground ticket barriers. they say at the end of the texts they send you, but that hasn’t stopped it.
Room 101?: Timetables, don’t you just love ‘em? Yes they tell you where to go, and yes
If it wasn’t for this calibre of people, who would graduate to become those they give you a sense of order, but they never seem to quite stick. It takes
people that write TV guides, make adverts for upcoming series and spread me at least half an hour for me to work out mine each semester, as I have
false rumours around (did you know that Jack is due to be killed off in to worth out which of the modules refer to my particular course, where I’ll
Season 4)? If you don’t like this sort of thing happening, then disassociate be if based on tutor group, what the room abbreviations represent, which
yourself with these people. Sure you may end up with no friends, but hey, weeks I’ll have a different room for a lecture…and to cap it all off, I can’t
Bill Gates hasn’t done too badly for himself. The gates stay shut for this one. get hold of my timetable until the Monday morning of week one! I don’t
have any form of “reading week” (read: beer week) on my course, so time-
tables go into Room 101.
The USSU President Greg Scott: So there we have it: this issue sees three of the suggestions
being banished to the murky depths of Room 101.
The Problem:
I could write a whole thesus on this one... Got any more you think need to be joining them?
NAH... just kidding... or are we!? Hehehe!!
ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
baref
barefacts COMMERCIAL BREAK
30 October 200
20066 9
FOOD
baref
barefacts
10 30 October 200
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Cooking with flair and sparkle, as always,
is Toby Shannon: Deputy Editor, raconteur and gourmand.
Where has the time gone? Just last week it seemed like sum- Leek and mushroom bake
mer was here to stay and now winter appears to be well under I know this is a little more complicated that the things
way. Dearie me… you’ve come to expect but bear with me. It’s rather nice.
Halloween and Bonfire night are rapidly approaching so that You will need a decent size casserole dish for this. If it seems a
means warming suppers, a Halloween themed punch and little much, scale it down to however much you think you’ll eat
things on sticks. Just don’t confuse the things on sticks with or what will fit in your dish.
sparklers. I’ve seen it happen. It’s not clever.
Ingredients:
For the filling:
Chocolate fondue 1 pack button mushrooms,
Again, not really a recipe, more of an idea. 2 leeks, washed and sliced,
What could be more fun than a big bowl of melt- 1 pack of powdered white sauce.
ed chocolate and a pile of things on sticks to dip in?
Well, quite a lot of things actually but this is a respect- For the topping:
able publication and we don’t hold with that sort of thing. A couple of large potatoes,
Some cheddar or similar cheese.
For the fondue:
Melt a few bars of decent chocolate in a big bowl Preheat oven to 200 C/ 400 F/ Gas mk 6
in the microwave with a little butter (a generous
slice) and a couple of tablespoons of golden syrup. First, peel the potatoes, cut them into chunks and put them on
Give this a stir and hopefully it’ll be glossy and love- the boil in a big saucepan with a hefty pinch of salt. When they’re
ly. Watch it like a hawk in case anyone steals it. tender to the point of a knife, drain them and leave them to one
side. Take your fried leeks and fry them in a bit of butter for about 4
To dip in: minutes until they’re a little softer then remove them from the pan.
If you’re feeling healthy, try some fruit like grapes or straw- Fry the mushrooms in a similar fashion for a few minutes (about 6
berries (if there’s any still about) but not things that are wet or so) and then remove them from the pan to one side. Make up
or juicy- they’ll make the chocolate seize up. If not, how the white sauce as the packet dictates and then mix this up with
about marshmallows, jelly beans or squares of fudge? the cooked mushrooms and leeks and place in your casserole
Arrange your choice of dipping things on a plate and dish. Mash the potatoes and cover the leeks and mushroom mix
arm yourselves with a selection of forks and sticks to dip with them. Grate some cheese over the top and put in the oven for
things in with. Make sure you have something comfort- about 30 mins until it’s looking golden brown and melted on the top.
able to collapse on due to the sugar-induced comas. Sorry about the washing up, but it’s worth it.
Possible soundtrack: Make up the first 4 ingredients in a big jug with ice and stir. Taste
‘Monster mash’, Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’ and... meh... I’m a and check everything’s about right. When serving, pour into a
cook! Find your own music for crying out loud! glass and add a few jelly sweets and a drop of food colouring
(but don’t stir, the colouring should hang bloodstain-like in the
glass) for the desired Halloween-ey effect.
baref
barefacts SHAMELESS PLUGS
30 October 200
20066 11
So do we!
in the world. Ever. Most students would agree I’m
sure, but I’m feeling it bad right now. Yet it is sadly
so underrated and often shrugged off as something we
could easily just have less of in pursuit of the seem-
they’re not here. Sob. :-( in fact probably use it just to sleep. The Land of Nod,
Snoozeville or Slumberland are just some of my fa-
vourite places. My housemates know it (they dare not
disturb me, for they are wise). And so should you.
Any great sleeping experience is not complete with-
out a dream or three. No matter how bizarre your
dream is, it doesn’t matter (although they are sup-
posed to have some kind of deeper meaning) – it is,
nevertheless, ‘just a dream’ and thus no matter what
is socially acceptable (usually). My dreams are most
likely unprintable, so we’ll just skip the bit where
you laugh out loud at the hilarity of my subconscious
night-time ponderings.
Conversely, the worst thing in the whole world is not
being able to sleep. Whoever came up with counting
sheep? It just doesn’t cut it.
I wish I was one of those people who had the pleas-
ure of being able to sleep in until mid-afternoon every
day instead of stealing moments away in the morning
before the inevitable ‘get out of bed and go attempt to
go to lectures’. That’d be fun. Sleeping is beneficial
after-all, it burns approx. 45 calories an hour fact fans
(which is fair to assume more than you’d burn in a
lecture, unless you’re lecturers like to get you doing
aerobics)!
Yet again this had meaning, but I seem to have lost
it. Whoops…
Wednesday
1st
BLING featuring Hanif
Thursday Po p w o r l d Pr o m o t e s
2nd Open Mic Night
featuring
Friday DA N
3rd BAILEY
Thursday
Open Mic Night
9th
Friday
10th Flirt Night
Saturday
Chancellor’s Live Football
11th
DEPUTY EDITOR
Beyond Time...
BY ANNE ABEYGUNASEKERA different regions of the Universe. The two “mouths” of the
wormhole could be next to each other in space, but separated
in time, so that it could literally be used as a time tunnel.
For thousands of years human beings have gazed in awe at the Time travel can be fascinating as well as frustrating. It’s fas-
world around them and asked big questions. The biggest ques- cinating because we’ll be able to explore the question “what
tion yet to be answered is whether time travel is possible. At would things have been like if...”? , but it can be frustrating
present it appears to be a subject of science fiction. Fascinations due to a vaguely spelled out theory of time which often al-
of time travel began with Einstein’s theory of special relativity. lows events that are confusing, contradictory and paradoxical.
What is time? Time is a hard term to define. None can liter- The classic example is the so called “granny paradox”, where
ally see or touch time, though effects of time can be seen in a time traveller inadvertently causes the death of his granny
the growth and in the changes of the world. H. G Wells wrote when she was a small girl, so that the traveler’s mother, and
in his classic story The Time Machine, that “there is no differ- therefore the traveller himself, were never born. In which
ence between Time and any of the three dimensions of Space, case, he did not go back in time to kill granny . . . and so on.
except that our consciousness moves along it”. Thus time is The proposal of time travel is backed by scientific theory, but
also defined as being the fourth dimension of our universe. that is not enough to make it realistically possible. So is time
The foundation for the theoretical possibility of time travel travel really impossible, or is it merely another phenomenon
was laid by Albert Einstein. According to Einstein’s theory where “impossible” means “nature is weirder than we think”?
of special relativity, as an object approaches the speed of These space phenomena include Black holes and Wormholes. The answer will be more interesting than you might think….
light, time slows. This has led many scientists to believe A black hole is an entity, where gravity has triumphed over all
that traveling faster than light can make time travel a reality. other forces. These are black holes, each being the remnant
When an object reaches the speed of light, its relativistic mass of a star that has collapsed so far that no light can escape it, Science & Technology
increases until, at the speed of light, it becomes infinite. At but that nonetheless leaves imprints, distortions of space and
present it is impossible to accelerate an infinite mass any fast- time, frozen in the space it’s left. Black holes can be named bf.science@yahoo.co.uk
er. Whilst great ideas are produced to build time machines, as the most remarkable consequences of Einstein’s theory. A
time travel is likely to be done by way of natural phenomena. wormhole is like a tunnel through space and time, connecting
PG TIPS
We’re currently looking for an Editor for the Postgraduate
section of the paper! In the meantime, any contributions
should be sent directly to ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
Clues Down:
1) SPECTRE’s number two: ------ Largo. (6)
2) Oh, I can’t think of anything clever for this one. Just write SUEZ backwards. (4)
3) Inventor of the ZX80 microcomputer: Clive --------. (8)
4) The star-sign of someone born on the 1st of June. (6)
5) Archipelago of about 100 islands in the Indian Ocean. (10)
6) It’s less important than quality, apparently. (8)
8) Sweets and such. (13)
13) It denotes the key of G. (6, 4)
15) A pause during the afternoon in a crcket match. (3, 5)
16) In a deeply unconscious state. (8)
18) A sudden disturbance to the surface of the water. (6)
20) Paths traced by something going around something else. (6)
22) If your ball’s a bit flat, you’ll have to use this! (4)
NOT NEWS & ARTS
baref
barefacts
18 30 October 200
20066
BY PETE NATTRESS was aghast.” But Matheson explained that the more he his life reinforcing ludicrous stereotypes about gay people
NOT NEWS EDITOR thought about the result, the more it made sense. “I guess to anyone who would listen. “I didn’t know, for instance,
I’ve just been repressing my true feelings for my whole that gay people can eat meat,” said Matheson. “That came
Guildford resident Ricky Matheson has spent most life. It’s funny because I’ve been spewing abuse at gay as a big surprise because my father always told me that they
of his life spouting homophobic rhetoric at friends people for years. The egg is most definitely on my face.” couldn’t. I thought they’d, like, explode or something.”
and colleagues, so the revelation that he is in fact gay Matheson has already left his wife and quit his job as a pub- Matheson was pleased to confirm that he has abandoned
himself came as quite a shock. Matheson made the lican to pursue “gayer activities.” He says that being gay has his bigoted ways once and for all, and is fully prepared to
discovery when he visited internet quiz site www.blogquiz- liberated him from the lie that was his life as a straight man. “I embrace his new life as a gay man. For better or worse,
mania.com and took the “test your sexuality” survey. don’t have to watch football anymore!” he exclaimed jubilantly no one has yet had the heart to tell him that the personal-
“I was going on there to make a big badge for my blog to a Not News interviewer. “I fucking hated football! I’m free!” ity survey he took online was faulty and returns ‘gay’
saying ‘I am 100 percent straight’,” explained Matheson. The abrupt about-turn in his sexuality has proven to be an no matter how the questions are answered. But this Not
“But when the page came up saying ‘88 percent gay’, I eye-opening experience for Matheson, who spent much of News reporter suspects that he probably won’t mind.
Jet
Shine On
Atlantic Records
Fancy writing for for the
October sees the welcome return of Australian rock band Jet with their genuinely fabulous
Arts or Features sections? new album Shine On. This is their follow up to the multi-million selling debut “Get Born”.
Shine On has been eagerly awaited and you will not be disappointed. It is full of edgy, highly
charged riffs and lyrics, such as the recent single “Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is”,
as well as mellow acoustic numbers such as “Kings Horses” which you instantly realise will
bf.arts@gmail.com be a great live acoustic number. “Holiday” would not be out of place on an album by another
Australian band “The Vines”, and throughout the album comparisons can be drawn to 90’s
for all your reviews! groups such as Oasis and Ocean Colour Scene, especially prevalent in “Bring It on Back”.
Influences of the Beatles can also be recognised as you listen through the album.
This is a well produced, well rounded album, but apart from “Put Your Money Where Your
Mouth Is” there is no clear hit singles to be had, unlike ‘Are You Gonna be my Girl’ or ‘Roll
bf.features@gmail.com Over DJ’ from their debut album Get Born. However, this is still a great album and you can
hear the distance Jet have come in the last few years. If you’re a Jet virgin, then this album
barefacts is your paper... use it! More Barearts over the page!
baref
barefacts MUSIC
30 October 200
20066 19
The Departed Review ‘Hope for Man, Hope for Film’
Directed by: Martin
Scorsese Children of Men
Starring: Leonardo Starring: Clive Owen, Michael Caine, Julianne Moore and
DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Chiwetal Ejiofor.
Jack Nicholson, Mark Director: Alfonso Cuarón
Wahlberg, Martin Sheen,
Anthony Anderson, Ray Britain, 2027. Women are infertile. Society is collapsing. No
Winstone, Vera Farmiga, more children are being born and the end of the world is nigh
Alec Baldwin (“the last one to die, please turn out the light”). Theo (Clive
151 minutes (18) Owen) joins a resistance group who have discovered that one
of their members is pregnant. He now must go on a dangerous
In Scorsese’s latest journey to the coast, so that the mother and the unborn child
film two infiltrators on that hold the only hope for mankind can escape to a secret
opposite sides of the law colony, dedicated to preserving the future of humanity.
play a dangerous game With such an intriguing premise, this film at the very least
of cat-and-mouse in cannot fail to be morally interesting. Although it never fully
an American remake of explains why women have become infertile, it is evident
the popular Hong Kong
that it is the result of large-scale ecological factors,
crime thriller, Infernal
such as global warming and pollution of the rainforests.
Affairs. Set in Boston, the
Although not a fast-paced film, the narrative holds together
story follows two men;
extremely well and rarely leaves time for boredom. It is also
Billy Costigan (DiCaprio),
often very violent but always remains true to the realism of a
who goes undercover
for the Massachusetts dystopian Britain. I think this is predominantly due to Cuarón’s
State Police to infiltrate outstandingly claustrophobic direction that makes the viewer
the gang of mobster utterly emphasise with Theo and follow his journey almost through
Frank Costello (Nicholson), and Colin Sullivan (Damon), who has been his eyes. The acting is incredible from all parties, particularly a
groomed by the gangster from a young age to be his insider in the police fun loving, yet serious portrayal from the great Michael Caine.
department. It soon becomes clear to all involved that there is a mole This film is superbly acted and displays an absorbing and
on both sides, and the film watches both men unravel from the strain of extremely thought-provoking plot. This, coupled with the top-
maintaining dual lives. notch direction, makes this film a must-see for all serious
DiCaprio and Damon both provide admirable, emotionally complex filmgoers. Although often an uncomfortable viewing, its
performances, and are nicely contrasted; where Sullivan is all charm bittersweet ending round things off to a tee and leaves
and style, Costigan appears intensely hunched, clenched, and resentful. the viewer with a poignant but thoroughly satisfied feeling.
DiCaprio’s still youthful looks work in his favor as he portrays his character’s
vulnerability. Damon expertly uses his boyish charm to make his duplicitous 4/5
villain even more diabolical, even if we never quite fall for his slavish Thomas Asdell
devotion to Nicholson’s flamboyantly evil mobster. Reminiscent of his two
Bourne films he brings a coiled-spring intensity to his character.
Jack Nicholson gives an over the top performance that is slightly out of
sync with the rest of the film. At times it felt as if he was strutting his stuff on
Oscar night, rather than being a crime lord at work. As a result his scene-
stealing performances tended to overshadow the film’s central theme
of the cat-and-mouse relationship between the characters of DiCaprio
and Damon. Saying that, his menacing, mad, swaggering character was
enjoyable to watch and one that nobody else but Nicholson could pull
off.
The underappreciated British character actor Ray Winstone is splendid as
usual; playing Costello’s right hand man and Mark Wahlberg’s marvelously
abusive Sgt. Dignam also deserve mention.
The plot sometimes comes across as a little unconvincing. It is difficult
to swallow that neither the police nor the gangsters, both of whom know
there is a mole amongst their ranks, spend much time investigating the
most obvious suspects - the newest members of their teams. The film is
only based over a two year period, and it strikes me as very obvious that
information starts being leaked as soon as these members turn up. It
also seems highly coincidental that both Colin and Billy fall for the same
woman, ably played by Vera Farmiga. The Departed is never boring,
though it could easily have been a half-hour shorter. At 151 minutes it
feels as if the film could be tightened before reaching its climactic, if a
little predictble, rooftop conclusion.
The Departed is not the classic that some people are claiming it to be
It’s coming......
but it is enjoyable throughout and boasts some fine performances.
3/5
Channies new Winter Menu
Anthony Hanson
MORE ARTS!
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barefacts
20 30 October 200
20066
Hot Chip/ Four Tet (Dj Set) AN INTERVIEW with the Young Knives…
Wednesday 11th October
London Astoria What’s your favourite venue to play at?
Henry: So far on this tour, in Bristol we played on a boat. It was great.
Okay, Hot Chip, pretty astonishing band. If you haven’t Oliver: Yeah it sounds amazing in there.
heard any of their music then to get you pointed in H: It’s half underwater and rocks as well while we’re rocking out.
the right direction I would say that it is a mix of dance, Is there anywhere you want to play that you haven’t yet?
indie, pop, electronica; quite a few genres there but House of Lords: Wembley, but I guess that’s an obvious one.
Hot Chip incorporate a bit of each. These guys are Can any of you speak another language?
very much into the sampling scene, with many of H: No, although our tour manager speaks fluent Spanish which is helpful.
their tunes made up of some extremely funky sounds O: He asked for a packet of fags for me once.
taken from who knows where. Therefore live, they use a range of exciting pieces of What language did you take at school?
technology from synths to drum machines and Macs, which are used to blast out the ALL: French
drum beats of each song instead of using an actual acoustic drum kit. This style of H: I took French at A level too.
performance where bands are using computers to program the drum beats seems to Was it your favourite subject?
be considerably growing in popularity, with the likes of such other artists of the moment H: no, it was theatre studies as it was a doss, although history was alright.
as Lily Allen, who also relies upon the operation of a Mac to replicate her kit sounds. When you were younger what did you want to be when you grew up?
There were two support acts for Hot Chip, one of which I was fairly familiar, Four Tet, H: I didn’t always want to be a musician. I used to want to be an actor.
however the other I was not. I would tell you the name of the band but I didn’t actually HOL: I wanted to be a stuntman; I liked the thought of getting some scars and
find this out, due to the fact that they were very poor. They’re sound was so monotonous broken bones.
and boring that I wasn’t going to go out of my way to find out who they were, and so O: [Laughs] yeah me too, everyone wanted to be a stuntman.
I won’t bore you about them anymore. I am not completely sure what the deal was Do you have any musical icons and have they changed, as you’ve got
with Four Tet, as after the band before there were only people moving kit around on older?
the stage, no one on any decks and the muffled sounds coming from speakers didn’t H: So we’re old?!…. I’m only joking; it’s a lot different being in the industry.
sound even vaguely recognizable. After quite a puzzling time the lights began to dim, It’s a bit disappointing. I guess David Bowie.
eyes peeled towards the stage we prepared ourselves for the guys we’d come to see. O: Not so much now your good friends with him.
One of the superb aspects of Hot Chip is that almost every song, if not EVERY song, H: Yeah, he’s been round for dinner a couple of times.
has a heavy disco beat making it difficult not to jump up and down to, and this is what Do you have a Ryder?
the next hour or so consisted off. Each song they played received an overwhelming H: We do have one it’s quite long as we have a large crew.
response from the crowd, including such greats from they’re recently released album What things are on it?
as “The Warning”, “And I Was A Boy From School”, “Colours”, “Breakdown” and many, H: Alcohol mainly, beer, wine, spirits. We also have things like cereal and milk
many others. Apart from when they sung their lyrics, I don’t think any of Hot Chip actually O: We have socks as well.
spoke to the audience at all, but this didn’t matter. The way that they performed, Do you buy your own clothes or are you advised what to wear?
Al Doyle in particular (guitar, synth, vocals) was amazing, shaking his maracas all H: We don’t have a stylist.
over the place. After a staggering set, Hot Chip left the stage before returning to HOL: Not like Keane [all nod in agreement]. Apparently, they even stated in
finish the night with “Over and Over”, which was incredible. Everyone person in the their renewed
building was moving, hands in the air and shouting along, absolutely marvellous. contract that one of the conditions was that they keep their current
This was simply a really fun gig, I didn’t know all of their songs half as well as I do stylist.
now and I still had a quality time, if you can, definitely go along to one of their shows. O: Even the futureheads have a stylist.
Jake South H: Its not what being rock stars is about. Not that we’re rock stars [laughs]. We
don’t get given
Frank Hamilton Band free stuff either. We tend to shop mainly in charity shops.
Friday 13th October 2006 O: Clarks asked us to wear their shoes once, but we declined.
Guildford Boiler Room Favourite chocolate bar?
H: That’s a good question.
I’d heard on the grapevine that the Boiler Room is the new indie/alternative hotspot HOL: Bounty
and is the place to be. On this Friday night my housemate asked me to go and I Light or Dark?
took my first venture there to lose my boiler room virginity…. I didn’t know quite what HOL: Dark
to expect from the evening…. But then the Frank Hamilton Band walked on stage. H: I guess mines Tunnox Caramel.
These guys were the first band of the night, my favourite by far and they weren’t even O: Aw yeah, definitely Tunnox Caramel.
headlining! It turned out that they came and saved the day when The Wombats H: Actually we get a lot given to us for free; you’ve got to say no. I prefer
cancelled at the last minute….they played without their full line up and were savoury.
amazing! I’m far from happy that the guy from The Wombats hurt his wrist but without O: I’m a cheese man. That’s on our Ryder too actually.
that unfortunate mishap I would never have stumbled across Frank and his band. Last question, how many sugars do you have in your tea?
They played live acoustic songs which you can relate to, about relationships, the All: None
good parts and the bad…being messed around and being hurt…all the joys of Your all sweet enough already
breaking up…. my favourite being ‘Breakfast on my own’ which is a good song to O: Bless you
listen to again and again to get over it all. They also played a song called ‘Disco
Fever’ about good old Harpers which definitely deserves a listen too. Frank soloed Rachael Fitz-Patrick
on a couple on songs and did some looping, that’s when he came to his own.
If you haven’t already heard of these guys go and have a look at www.myspace.com/
frankhamiltonband. Not only are they rebooked for the Boiler Room for 6th December, they
are also booked for a number of gigs in and around Guildford in the upcoming months.
Well I know I’m hooked…I’ve downloaded the songs, ordered the
EP and who knows by next week they may even be my ring tone…
Sarah-Jane Fletcher
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barefacts SOCIETIES
30 October 200
20066 21
BY PAUL FOLLOWS
Politics Society communications secretary, and a social secretary along with Lydia Rochelle – li51lr@surrey.ac.uk
TREASURER the standard positions. Thanks also to everyone who was at
the AGM. The existing committee and members would like to welcome
Who Are We? The new committee for PolSoc: our new expanded team, and congratulate them on their
Founded last year, the Politics Society is open to everyone election. Especially our new society president; Laurence
who is interested in politics. Whatever your ideas, politi- President: Tan, who will no doubt share some of his thoughts about the
cal orientation or party, everyone is welcome to join. So far Laurence Tan – li52lt@surrey.ac.uk society at a later date, so watch this space.
we have more than 70 members from across the university, So far this year we have had a society pub crawl, which
representing nearly every point on the political spectrum. Vice President: allowed members to get to know each other a bit better, es-
So sign up, and come along to our meetings and upcoming Dominik Byrne – db00010@surrey.ac.uk pecially the fresher’s who have signed up, and last year the
events, and we practically guarantee you’ll find people with society has hosted a number of successful debate nights. We
similar views, and no doubt a few members to debate with Treasurer: do though have big plans for the future:
as well. Our main aim is to try and combat student apathy Paul Follows – ec41pf@surrey.ac.uk
towards politics, and to get people more involved. Coming Soon
General Secretary: We will soon be organising a politics quiz, and trips to Lon-
AGM Sam Jones – li51sj@surrey.ac.uk don to visit Downing Street and the Houses of Parliament,
The society has just had its 2nd AGM, and all of the new so watch this space. We will also be hosting another pub
committee would like to thank the outgoing president and Commutations Officer: crawl very soon.
founder of the society, Steve Cottingham, and the outgoing Jack Brockless – li51jb@surrey.ac.uk
Vice President, Sophia Hawkins for their work in setting up If you would like to join the society, or have any sugges-
the society, and getting us to where we are today. During the Social Secretaries: tions for us, feel free to contact the committee, or email the
AGM, the members voted two new positions to our team; a Chrissy Marie – li53cm@surrey.ac.uk society at polsoc@hotmail.co.uk
UniS Amnesty
THIS IS THE NEW Amnesty Student Group - we will be meeting up once every two weeks to
discuss issues that students want to fight, such as stopping violence against women and the
current campaign to control arms trading. There will be letter writing and campaigning ac-
Student Group
tivities involved, as well as social events such as vital trips down the pub!! So if you fancy
doing something that’s different and worthwhile then Amnesty Student Group is for YOU!!
For more information, please contact Ming Chung - ch51mc@surrey.ac.uk.
SPORT
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22 30 October 200
20066
Oleg Misses A Tackle!! managed to undeservedly break some heroic defending by Sur- ing the match), Kenny and Ceri were particularly impressive.
BY MATT CHEETHAM rey in the last minute of the game to score. This brought them The following week both teams were in action and were
SPORTS EDITOR within one point of the 1st XV. Heads dropped as St Georges’ not quite as successful, sadly losing to Chichester and Guy’s
so far flawless kicker confidently sought his kicking tee, with Hospital respectively. Despite the setbacks, team morale re-
The Men’s rugby club experience mixed fortunes in their re- which he would surely break Surrey hearts, and gain the two mains high as demonstrated in their post match shot by the
cent exchanges… vital points for his side. But whether a gust of wind blew, 2nd XV who were very unlucky in defeat after a gutsy display.
the pressure of the supporters on the touchline was felt, or
THE SURREY 1ST XV recently kicked off their BUSA campaign fate intervened to
in style, producing a fantastic display of Rugby. Pitted against bring justice, the
a strong St Georges side, who had narrowly claimed the Sur- conversion struck
rey boys’ scalps in recent encounters, Surrey held on to glori- the post and the
ously win by one point. Surrey outscored the visitors three ball bounced safe.
tries to two, with backs Quentin, Kenny and Tom crossing the Moments later the
line. However blessed with a persistently accurate kicker, St whistle sounded,
Georges were able to keep nagging behind, never out of sight, bringing about a
thanks to a few long range penalties. thoroughly de-
Despite heavily dominating the match for the most part, Sur- served victory
rey appeared frustrated at not being able to finish their oppo- by the narrow-
nents off, the way their play had deserved. Several ‘interest- est of margins.
ing’ refereeing decisions certainly did not help circumstances. Joyous scenes
The referee provided continued entertainment for a large bulk ensued and con-
of Surrey supporters (bolstered by the cancellation of the tinued long into
2nd XV’s game) on the touchline. At one point in the second the night. The
half he fell to his knees. Alarmed expressions followed as St superb team per-
Georges players (a medical college) rushed on the pitch to formance stood
check on his well-being. However it turned out, being thirty out, although
meters behind play, he was competing with the props, and Oleg (despite the
eager to catch up with the action, had unfortunately collided fact he missed
with one, coming off the worse. the first tackle of
The pivotal moment of the match came when St Georges his career dur-
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30 October 200
20066 23
BY MATT CHEETHAM
SPORTS EDITOR
Football Talk covered up front. Midfielders need to be able to help out in
defence as well as creating chances for strikers, which is not
happening consistently at the moment. For the next match
Hello again. Well it has certainly been an eventful few my choice would be 4-4-2 again, with a midfield of Joe Cole,
weeks in the world of football since the previous Barefacts: Hargreaves, Gerrard (in the middle) and Lennon. If this were
Steve McClaren’s England reign is now under pressure after to happen then it would be a totally new midfield to the play-
two very disappointing displays. Chelsea disposed of Bar- ers deployed against Croatia. However fitness would have to
celona, who then had to endure defeat at the hands of their be proved by some of those players. Hargreaves has recently
fiercest rivals Real Madrid. Are Barcelona in for a similar said his aim is to make the next England squad in his bid to
collapse to the one Arsenal suffered two years ago, when they overcome his broken leg.
lost their 49 match unbeaten run to Manchester United? Also This would mean a temporary break for the world class, but
Man United beat Liverpool, showing form that should now out of form Lampard. Simply for the versatility of the squad I
enable a decent title race. I have had some interesting re- would recall David Beckham, axed in the first place I feel be-
sponses to last editions ‘talk’. Some people feel Cristiano cause McClaren felt it was wanted by the public. Beckham’s
‘winker’ Ronaldo and Kaka were names to be considered for all round game is certainly diminishing, but few are able to
the World Player of the Year award, and from the replies I re- deliver set pieces and crosses as well as him, and in certain
ceived, it seems Thierry Henry and Ronaldinho are your picks ation farcically by offering the position to Felipe Scolari first. situations his introduction could prove vital. Of the few goals
to win the award. He also knows it is very easy for him to still be associated we scored in the World Cup, he was after all involved in most
with the failings of Sven Goran Eriksson’s reign in the press of them in some capacity.
Really pressure after five games? and public. Hence probably the cause for most of his inter-
So to Steve McLaren. He has stated himself that he feels the views highlighting the fact that he is ready to ring changes. Spot on
pressure already, admitting his job is on the line after a mere He recently cancelled a trip to America that he had planned in Back to the domestic side of things, what is going on with
five games. But can we be that surprised about those two order to learn methods of American football coaches. Follow- the amount of penalties we are seeing at the moment? There
depressing results? When in charge of Middlesbrough, Mc- ing the bad results, he wanted to watch more games instead, seems to be an appeal for one every ten minutes of a game
Claren was at times brilliant, but generally inconsistent. Last to come up with some conclusions about his next squad. I currently. There have been plenty of matches in Premiership
season his side achieved glorious victories over top teams certainly do not feel going to America is particularly worth- this season with two or three penalties awarded, and even
such as Chelsea, Manchester United and Arsenal. Yet over while, but at one time McClaren obviously did, yet he clearly more that were not given that maybe should have been. Are
the course of the season their fans also had to witness the team cancelled the trip in an attempt to please people. He is the defenders becoming anxious and breaking down into calami-
fail to beat relegation battlers West Brom, and also recorded England boss, the top man, and he is a good manager. I feel tous wrecks in their box, or are strikers just becoming more
defeats to Portsmouth and even Sunderland at home!! He did he now needs to start standing tall, and go on his instincts for crafty and disillusioning referees and fans a like? A factor
achieve consistent cup runs with Middlesbrough, seemingly a while. Whether the F.A. employed him rightly or wrongly, of this certainly is the obscurity surrounding handball. No
making his side good enough to beat most on their day, cer- they have, and he needs time to make his own contributions, one presently seems able to agree on the definition of hand-
tainly a fact that does bode well for England. Therefore is providing England’s situation does not turn perilous. He has ball, certainly it needs to be made clear to prevent continuous
inconsistency not expected? Are we now going to be able to forget his obsessing over public opinion and start training controversy. Penalties cause drama and it makes for excite-
to overwhelm teams like Brazil, Italy, France and (hopefully his chosen squad on how he wants them to progress. ment, but more clear fundamental rules should be obvious to
very soon) Portugal, but at the same time suffer lacklustre re- prevent confusion.
sults against the lower teams, such as Macedonia? Only time So where to now? Keep your responses coming in to these topics and topics
will tell, however England have to qualify for the Champion- McClaren is likely to experiment againts Holland with a you want brought up in future columns, as well as any sports
ships first, and then get past the weaker teams before they can new squad, and I discussed in the previous Barefacts per- related articles to bf.sport@gmail.com. I will try and include
match up against the favourites. sonnel that might or might not appear. I feel the key is in as many replies and theories as possible in the next edition.
McClaren strikes me as insecure with his current posi- midfield; our defence is possibly the best in the world, and
tion and is desperate to be liked. However that would with Rooney and a mobile striker willing to play ahead of Any topics you want to discuss?
not be surprising, he knows he was not the first choice for him such as Johnson, Defoe, Bent or Owen at some point,
the England manager’s job. The F.A. handled the situ- and with Crouch or Ashton available too all options should be bf.sport@gmail.com
Caption Third
This weeks Caption Corner shows ‘Director of Elite Rugby’
Rob Andrew trying to show England’s coaching staff how
England should play rugby...or is he showing off his moves
for a future strictly come dancing series? Send us the funniest
phrase that you think best fits this caption, and our favourite
effort will feature in the next edition.
bf.sport@gmail.com Last weeks winning phrase was ‘Money cant buy you love,
Jose’. Congratulations to Patrick Dowedswell who wins ex-
clusive iPod accesSORIES.
SPORT
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barefacts
24 30 October 200
20066