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TEXTING.

SPANISH & ENGLISH HUMOUR

SPANISH JOKS:

An eng mn ask 2 a Malaga’s lokl:


- PLS, 2 Antequera?
- B4, arbañí, & nw colec snals

-Doctor, I wnt 2 lose weight fst

-It iz v easy, jst kEp shaking yor head, L & rght

-All d time?

-No, only wen SOME1 offers U f%d.


ENG JOKS:
d wrng #

- Naughty kid: Hello! Do U hav a refriger8or?


- Man: Yes, I hav. Who're u?
- Naughty kid: iz it running?
- Man: Yes
- Naughty kid: git hold of it... othRwIz it mite run awA
- D mang slams dwn d fone.

AftR a few mins d fone bl rings agin:


- Naughty kid: Hello! Do U hav a refriger8or?
- Mang (angrily): No, I don't have!!!!
- Naughty kid: Didn't I teL U 2 hold it?

Noisy neighbours

Adam wz a student n a lRg uni n LDN. He wz living n a


college hall of residence durN Hs 1st yr.. aftR he had Bin
ther 4 a month, Hs mum came 2 vzit.

-‘How hav U Bin enjoying uni life, thn, Adam?’

-‘It’s gr8, mom. Wll, it’s gr8, Xcpt 4 my neighbours. bt 4 them, it wud b
perfect.’

-‘So what’s wrng w them?’ Hs mum askd.

-‘Dey'r such noisy pepl!’, Adam replied. ‘U c, d studnt hu livs on d rght


h& side keeps banging Hs hed agAnst d wall, & won't stop. & d 1 on d L h&
side screms & screms aL Thru d night!’

Hs mum sympathizd w him, ‘Oh, dear! U pOr thing! How do U manage 2 put ^
w such noisy neighbours?’

-‘Well, dre’s not much I cn do apart frm trying 2 ignOr them,’ he


answered. ‘I jst stA hEr qwitly n my r%m playing my trumpet!’
Chistes españoles:
Un hombre inglés pregunta a un lugareño de Málaga:
-Por favor, ¿Antequera?
-antes, arbañí, y ahora recojo caracoles.

-Doctor, quiero perder peso rápidamente

-Es muy fácil, solamente tiene que sacudir su cabeza a la derecha y a la


izquierda

-¿Todo el tiempo?

-No, solamente cuando alguien le ofrezca comida.

-Doctor, I want to lose weight fast

-It is very easy, just keep shaking your head, left and right

-All the time?

-No, only when someone offers you food.

Chistes ingleses:

EL NÚMERO EQUIVOCADO

-Chico travieso: "¡Hola! ¿Tiene usted una nevera?"

-Hombre: "Sí. ¿Quién es?"

-Chico travieso: "¿Funciona?"

-Hombre: "Sí"

-Chico travieso: "Sujétela...si no podría escaparse"

El hombre cuelga el teléfono.

Después de unos miutos el teléfono suena de nuevo:

-Chico travieso: "¡Hola! ¿Tiene usted una nevera?"

-Hombre: "¡No, no tengo!"


-Chico travieso: "¿No le dije que la sujetara?"

THE WRONG NUMBER

-Naughty kid: "Hello! Do you have a refrigerator? "

-Man: "Yes, I have. Who're you?"

-Naughty kid: "Is it running?"

-Man: "Yes"

-Naughty kid:" Get hold of it... Otherwise it might run away"

The man slams down the phone.

After a few minutes the phone bell rings again:

-Naughty kid:" Hello! Do you have a refrigerator?"

-Man (angrily): "No, I don't have!!!!"

-Naughty kid: "Didn't I tell you to hold it?"

VECINOS RUIDOSOS

Adam era un estudiante de una gran universidad de Londres. Estaba viviendo


en la residencia de la facultad durante su primer año. Después de que hubiera
estado allí durante un mes, su madre vino a visitarlo

-"¿Cómo has estado viviendo la vida de universidad, Adam?"

-"Está muy bien, mamá. Bueno, está bien a no ser por mis vecinos. Pero para
ellos, sería perfecto"

-"Entonces, ¿qué va mal con ellos?", su madre preguntó

-"Ellos son muy ruidosos", Adam contestó. "Verás, el estudiante que vive a mi
derecha se pasa el rato golpeando su cabeza contra la pared, y no parará. Y el
que vive a mi izquierda grita y grita durante toda la noche".

Su madre se compadeció de él. "¡Oh, querido! ¡Pobrecito! ¿Cómo te las


apañas para aguantar este ruido de tus vecinos?"
-"Bueno, no hay mucho que pueda aparte de tratar de ingnorarlos", contestó.
"Yo simplemente me quedo aquí muy tranquilo en mi habitación tocando mi
trompeta".

NOISY NEIGHBOURS

Adam was a student in a large university in London. He was living in a college


hall of residence during his first year. After he had been there for a month his
mother came to visit.

-"How have you been enjoying university life, then, Adam?"

-"It's great, mum. Well, it's great except for my neighbours. But for them, it
would be perfect".

-"So, what's wrong with them?" his mother asked

-"They're such noisy people", Adam replied. "You see, the student who lives on
the right hand side keeps banging his head against the wall, and won't stop.
And the one on the left hand side screams and screams all through the night!"

His mother sympathized with him. "Oh, dear!. You poor thing! How do you
manage to put up with such noisy neighbours?"

-"Well, there's not much I can do apart from trying to ignore them", he
answered. "I just stay here quietly in my room playing my trumpet"!