Improving E.V.E.

M. G. Alves, Jr.
 Adam sat looking at the nanocrystal infused polymer skeleton sitting patiently in the chair
before him. It was beautiful in its opalescent state—not to mention strong and light—very
comparable to actual human bone, but more similar in appearance to frozen skim milk. His initial
attempt at a supposedly light metal alloy frame had seemed logical at first; that is, until the damned
thing nearly crushed his pelvis the first time it tried to straddle him. That was E.V.E. .3b, and an
outright disaster. Not only had it been much too heavy, it lacked the certain finesse needed for such
a device. He didn’t even want to think about what could have happened had he dared to try some of
the initial “oral” subroutines. After the incident with the banana, he considered himself lucky. But
now that he had a strong viable frame, however, he anticipated the rest to be a cakewalk.
“E.V.E.,” Adam said. The skeletal device stiffened and its featureless head turned to face
him. Good, thought Adam. The small microphones in her ears seemed to be working properly. When
her vocal components were finalized she would respond verbally. But that was still months away and
her meager acknowledgement was sufficient for now. Adam was content just to have E.V.E.’s
sophisticated processor in place and its cooling system functioning within the desired parameters.
He had secured the Centium 2, hyper-core processor, in E.V.E.’s head—as he could think of no
better place for her supposed brain. The new processor offered considerable improvements over the
previous model and Adam had taken full advantage of any breakthroughs in technology. After all,
his financier assured him money would be no object.
From the processor a small pump moved a ruby liquid cooling compound throughout
E.V.E.’s body via a series of thin heat dissipating tubes. These eventually would be infused into her
synthetic skin where the liquid would be cooled before returning to repeat the cycle. Not only did
this system simulate actual human circulation, the warm fluid returning from the processor’s many
cores would serve to keep her artificial skin warm as well.
In fact, her skin was to be a technological first. Adam had secured the rights to use an
experimental UV reactive synthetic skin developed primarily to treat burn victims. Unlike
conventional skin grafts—which, mind you, had come a long way since their inception—this
breakthrough membrane consisted of nanotech-infused cells providing all the look and feel of actual
human skin. It even possessed the ability to darken with excessive exposure to sunlight. E.V.E.
needed to be as close to human as possible to ensure her investor’s complete satisfaction.
The circumstances that led to E.V.E.’s design had had as much to do with luck as anything
else. Adam had not initially set out to create the perfect woman, far from it in fact. His venture into
artificial intelligence began in the business sector where he had developed a customer relationship
management (CRM) system that utilized a patented database propelled by several proprietary AI
subsystems. Adam’s revolutionary system had revived a stagnant CRM industry providing customers
with not only unprecedented consumer and trend analysis but also the ability of their systems to
learn, adapt and effectively forecast environmental, customer and competitive data. He had later—
on a whim—applied the same core technology as the foundation to a mechanized puppy designed as
a presentation piece for a local trade show. Adam had thought little of the robotic dog; it was a mere
toy as far as he had been concerned—albeit, a very smart toy. However, another individual at that
same tradeshow had thought more of it, and seen its potential, and it was this person who had later
contacted him with the proposal at hand.
Adam had never officially met the investor. He only knew the man—he assumed it was a
man—by the moniker shiek82, or so his e-mails stated. Having grown bored of the trivialities and
financial hubbub of the CRM industry, Adam leapt at the opportunity to broaden his horizons. It
was so that E.V.E. (Electromechanical Voluptuous Entity) had come to fruition. He had initially
tested three beta versions: the first was merely a series of computer programs mixed with his
modified CRM software. He had dubbed it R.I.B.B: Reactive Intelligence Bioneural Brain. This
conjoining of an extensive—and expandable—database, his CRM software and several thousand

-2-
common human facial and motor subroutines was the cognitive center of the machine. The second
version had been a combination of the R.I.B.B. software, the initial metal alloy skeleton and several
gyroscopes and accelerometers that allowed the robot to stand and walk. The final beta, and the
most infamous, had incorporated additional neural subroutines. These allowed for a clearer
understanding of the frame’s agility and the machine’s artificial brain’s cognitive abilities. Adam
admitted he had gotten ahead of himself on that model, and had the bruised hip to prove it.
Those had been the “betas”, however, and this one was E.V.E. I… and she was amazing
despite her current milky skeletal appearance. Adam could already picture her finished form: tight,
smooth and curvaceous. Once complete, various parts of her would be customizable by the end
user. These included hair color and style, eye color and bust and hip size. Her hair would be
composed of voltage sensitive, hair-like fibers that responded to preprogrammed voltages applied to
them, thereby producing varying colors. Among natural colors like browns, blacks, blondes and
reds, other colors such as greens, pinks, blues and purples could be achieved as well. In addition, the
hair could be extracted and contracted from her head to compose a multitude of styles. A catalog of
various styles would be designed for such a purpose. All that was required was for the user to upload
a series of codes and other details through E.V.E.’s HSD (high speed data) port. The new interface
offered incredible speed improvements over the antiquated USB and Firewire ports of the past.
The addition of artificial lungs inside E.V.E. would allow for the simulation of breathing and
give her the ability of natural speech. Adam had initially planned on an electronic voice box, but
somehow the end result was not natural enough. In response, he had developed artificial vocal cords
that when combined with air from her pseudo lungs, mouth, lip and tongue movements granted her
the ability to speak with astounding realism. He had even gone so far as to acquire a clear scentless
and flavorless antimicrobial fluid that E.V.E. would use as artificial saliva and as a lubricant in other
necessary areas. In addition to these, the liquid would serve as a cleanser as he had decided early on
that she would need to be self-cleaning.
All these extras would eventually come later. At the moment, Adam needed to perfect her
balance and movements. Having the skeleton exposed would make the process much easier and
adjustments uncomplicated. In fact, her skin would have to be one of the last items applied.
“E.V.E., stand up,” Adam said, moving back. He did not want to take any chances; his
bruised hip reminded him of that. He had made some changes to her programming since she first
walked and there was always the possibility of having introduced new bugs. E.V.E. gyrated for a
second then placed her hands on the seat beneath her and stood. That was new, thought Adam.
“Come to me, E.V.E.,” he commanded. Once again she gyrated then stepped forward toward him.
Then she took another uneasy step… And then she wobbled and went crashing into the instruments
beside her. Adam raced to catch her. Damn it, he thought. One of her gyroscopes must have gone out of
alignment. She was light, however, and easily supported. “Stop,” he said in disappointment and she
obeyed. He set her back down on the chair and sighed. So much for that cakewalk.

***

E.V.E. walked from one end of the room to another. “Faster,” said Adam. She responded
immediately with a brisk stroll back to him. Perfect, he thought. No awkward gyrations, no missteps…
perfect. Adam felt confident. “Run to the door and back,” he instructed. No sooner had the words
left his mouth, E.V.E. bolted to the door and returned, stopping just inches from him. Adam
cringed but then smiled. “You’re a beautiful thing, E.V.E.,” he said caressing her arm. E.V.E. was
yet skeletal and faceless but she glanced down at the hand touching her, studying it despite a lack of
eyes. She, in fact, did have vision of sorts: a small infrared camera Adam had attached to the top of
her head. It would eventually be replaced with her permanent optics… once they were completed.

-3-
 Adam smirked. He was feeling very bold today, indeed. He walked to his computer and
entered a few searches into his ever-growing database. “Here we go,” he said to himself. “Come to
me, E.V.E.” E.V.E. walked casually to him. “Turn around,” he added and she did as she was told.
Adam opened a small flap at the base of her neck and attached a small cable to her HSD port.
Continuing his smirk he uploaded data into E.V.E.’s 10 Terabytes of PCM2 non-volatile memory.
The transfer took a mere second to complete. He then disconnected the wire. “E.V.E.,” he said,
“let’s dance.” E.V.E. remained still. Adam frowned but then smiled, understanding… he had not
told her which dance. Good, he thought. She was aware he had uploaded more than one dance step
into her database and was waiting for him to specify which one.
Adam took E.V.E.’s hand and placed his other on her hip. She responded by placing her free
hand on his shoulder. “Let’s waltz,” he said. E.V.E. waited for him to lead before following along.
Her technique was flawless. There was no music but she flowed as if the room were filled with it.
“Cha Cha,” he said. She changed her steps to match his. Adam laughed aloud. “Foxtrot,” he
commanded. She flowed again gliding effortlessly into the new step. “Swing,” he changed. She
followed suit. Then Adam had a very mischievous thought. “Lap dance,” he said. Suddenly, E.V.E.
stopped… he knew she was searching her database. She had no voice processor or any vocal
subroutines at the moment. Had she had them she would have told him she did not understand his
command. Gotcha, Adam thought. But then again, he considered, it wasn’t her fault; he had not
programmed her with the intricacies of lap dancing… he would have to get right on that.

***

E.V.E.’s vocal system was complete, installed and fully operational. Her eyes had been
installed as well. In fact, they were the same types used to treat blindness and replace human eyes
that had otherwise been damaged. Their color changes operated much the same way an octopus’
did: various tiny cells within the iris could expand and flatten or contract and thin making the
various colors visible or muted. While testing the many iris colors, Adam—for some reason—
stopped on red. E.V.E. had appeared possessed with those glaring red orbs, watching him like some
ruby vine-laden, milky devil. Frankly, the sight had been quite unnerving and had made him uneasy.
There was something about things that didn’t blink that he didn’t quite like. That might possibly
have been the reason why he had never owned one of those angler fish that were all the rage. He
verified that her optics did indeed operate properly, and after some further tests, he removed them
and reattached the infrared camera. He planned on reinstalling them later before her skin was ready
for application. Once it was applied she would be able to blink.
“E.V.E.,” Adam said. E.V.E. turned her head to face him.
“Yes, Adam?” she asked. He smiled. Her voice would need to be higher. It was husky and
low, reminiscent of some sultry 20th century actress who smoked far too much. It was almost as
disturbing as the red eyes. He entered a few commands into his computer and tiny motors in her
throat responded, tightening her artificial vocal cords.
“E.V.E.,” Adam said again.
“Yes, Adam?” she asked. Her voice was now a higher, more pleasant pitch.
“E.V.E., how many dimples on a golf ball?”
“The number can range from 300 to 450. There is no regulation amount,” E.V.E. replied.
“What is the molecular compound of isopropyl alcohol?”
“C3H7OH,” E.V.E. replied.
“How many liters in a tun?”
“Approximately 954.”
“How far is the Earth from the sun?”

-4-
 “The distance varies between 146 million kilometers and 152 million kilometers depending
on the time of year.” Adam didn’t know for certain if she was correct, but he’d bet money on it.
E.V.E. waited patiently as always for his next command.
“What is the surface gravity of the Earth?” Adam continued.
“9.79 m/s2,” E.V.E. replied. Adam thought; maybe he should stick to answers to which he
was certain.
“What is the capitol of California?” Adam asked.
“Sacramento,” she replied.
“Good,” Adam said. As always he had an immediate wicked thought. “E.V.E., what is the air
speed velocity of an unladen swallow?”
“What do you mean?” Eve asked. “African or European?” Adam’s jaw dropped and he
couldn’t help but laugh aloud. Was that a smirk at the corners of her mouth? Impossible. It was hard
to tell, however, without her attached skin. He wondered where she had acquired that tired old joke.
A quick search of her database revealed it in the film section. He was still impressed, however, at
how quickly she had responded with the given answer.
“You did very well,” he told her.
“Thank you, Adam,” she replied. “Did I make you happy?” Adam was certain he had not
programmed that question as one of her many potential responses. He was aware, however, that she
was programmed to please. The R.I.B.B. software was definitely performing as it should. She had
learned to ask it. Adam was quite pleased.
“Yes, E.V.E. You made me very happy,” he told her. E.V.E. responded with her expected
motionless state, but Adam was certain the smirk had returned to the corners of her mouth.

***

Adam watched the progress of his monitor with eager anticipation. A total of thirty
diagnostics were required for E.V.E. to pass before she could finally be given her skin. Currently,
the monitor chugged along slowly on test number 25: common range of motion. Each of E.V.E.’s
extremities bent and straightened, wiggled and flailed; she appeared to be in epileptic shock,
although a true epileptic had far more grace. Then, there was a “blip” and the word “passed” flashed
on the screen. Next was test 26: vocal range and performance. This particular test annoyed Adam to
no end. E.V.E.’s vocal scales were reminiscent of some deranged parrot vying for a stale cracker. He
tried to occupy his time elsewhere during the test’s progression. It seemed the more he observed the
range of tests, the longer they seemed to get.
His desk was an utter mess. How he managed to find anything on it, he did not know. He
started to shuffle through the many papers, but they were just too overwhelming at the moment; he
couldn’t concentrate. He tried to tell himself that if a test failed he would hear the very distinctive
alarm, but that was akin to telling himself the moon was still outside, hovering in the night sky.
Eventually he would have to go out there and make certain.
Blip. Adam chanced a look at the monitor. She had passed test 26, but then, the immediate
silence following the operatic bedlam told him as much. He sighed in relief. If she had failed that
test once again he would have ripped out his own ears. Next were the diagnostics of her non-volatile
memory. E.V.E. would do nothing physically during this test. In fact, this particular analysis was
broken up into eight shorter sub-assessments where her memory was written to, read and wiped
randomly. Adam found the waiting absolutely maddening. He had to leave, perhaps take a nap. He
knew the remainder of the tests would take at least another hour and a half. But he had remained at
E.V.E.’s side through the last 26 tests and the past 16 hours. Somehow, he could not will himself to
go anywhere.

-5-
 Then, his computer alerted him to the arrival of mail. As he suspected, it was from shiek82.
The message read simply,

How is she progressing?

Adam chose ‘Audible Reply’ and cleared his throat. He so loathed typing. Why this man
chose to write everything was beyond him.
“Good evening, sheik,” Adam said. “E.V.E. is progressing as planned. She is currently
undergoing diagnostics and, should all go well, will be ready for her skin in approximately two hours.
All your chosen criteria have been uploaded and configured. Once her skin is applied, I have a few
more tests to run. Following that, she will be ready for shipment. I will mail you once everything is
finalized. Regards, Adam.” Adam pressed ‘send’ and the mail software closed. He chanced a glance
at the monitor, but the memory test was only on its second step. This was to be the longest hour
and a half in history.

***

The last of E.V.E.’s synthetic skin had been applied. The material was even more amazing
than Adam had originally imagined. The nanotech infused material had been applied in small
sections where it could be shaped and tightened as desired. Once exposed to similar pieces, the skin
would fuse together leaving neither seam nor scar. Adam supposed it was the nanotech at work that
attributed to this amazing healing ability. Once fully applied, the skin could be cut if repairs were
needed, and once rejoined, it repaired itself. Simply amazing.
At last, she was done. Adam stepped back to admire her. Her configuration had included
deep brown—almost black—eyes, long wavy black hair, fairly large breasts and smooth curvaceous
hips. She was breathtaking.
“Eve?” Adam said.
“Yes, Adam?” she replied. She cocked her head just slightly, her large dark eyes blinking
hypnotically. She smiled as he watched her. As always she waited patiently, eager for his next
command.
Adam regained himself. “What would you like to do?” he asked, unable to think of anything
else.
“To spend time with you,” she answered. She moved closer and touched his arm. Adam’s
pulse raced. To see her fully functional had him breathless. He smiled and thought. Perhaps he had
missed something in the many subsystems. Some further tests should be run. “What are you
thinking?” she asked cocking her head. Adam frowned.
“Eve, please run a full self-diagnostic.”
“Of course, Adam,” she complied. She paused for a minute or so. “All systems are
performing at satisfactory or above levels,” she concluded shortly after.
“How about a fluid level status and temperature reading.”
“All fluids are registering full and core temperatures are within acceptable parameters,” she
replied. Adam continued his frown; something was off. “Adam, would you mind if I kissed you?”
Adam’s brow shot up. That was a tad bit aggressive, he thought. Perhaps he should tone down her
desire subroutines a few levels… later.
“Yes, Eve. You may.” Well, he thought, I may as well take advantage of her current settings. E.V.E.
smiled and approached even closer. She gingerly cupped the side of his face in her hand, sliding it
behind his neck as her mouth met his. Her lips parted and her smooth warm tongue danced
provocatively with his. Adam melted. She was incredible. He dared a feel of her breasts and she

-6-
gasped in response, her breathing increasing. They felt wonderful, full and soft. Adam felt his own
arousal increasing and E.V.E. must have sensed it as well for she reached down to delicately caress
his crotch in response. She moaned with desire as her hand worked him knowingly. “Perhaps,”
Adam added through gasps of his own, “we need to test you further.”
“I would love that, Adam,” she replied. “I feel so many areas that require extensive testing.”

***

Adam was visibly upset as he sealed E.V.E. within the container. It’s just a robot he told
himself… but she was his robot. He had slaved day and night for nearly a year and given so much of
himself in creating her. And now, she would belong to another. He tried to put his feelings aside.
After all, business was business, and the payment he was to receive was considerable… enough to
retire on, in fact. Perhaps he would build another robot for himself. Adam sighed. Unfortunately, he
only wanted the robot who was inside the container. He wanted his first.
A ring of his doorbell alerted him to the arrival of the delivery bots. They would already have
E.V.E.’s destination programmed and Adam would not know to where she was headed. He had
tried a few times to trace the messages sent to him by sheik82, to find their origination, but that
information had been heavily encrypted and his attempts had been futile. He walked to the door and
opened it. The bots hovered patiently outside.
“Are you Adam Martin?” asked on of them in its metallic voice. Adam scoffed at how
primitive these bots were compared to his perfect E.V.E.
“Yes,” he replied.
“We are instructed to pick up freight,” the bot said methodically. “Thumb print, please.”
Adam pressed his thumb against the bot’s scanner.
“It’s over here,” he pointed afterwards. The bots flew to the container and wrapped their
extendible arms around it and in tandem, lifted it and glided out the door.
“Thank you for using WorldWide Express,” it said as it hovered outside Adam’s door.
“Have a nice day.” With that, the two bots floated down the street to a large shipping device.
“Yeah, you too,” Adam said despondently.

***

Adam paced nervously. Yesterday he had received a message from sheik82; all that it said
was,

I am returning her to you. Further details are included in the container.

What could have gone wrong, he thought? He hoped she hadn’t been damaged during shipment… but
then, how was that his fault? The doorbell rang and Adam bolted to the door.
“Are you Adam Martin?” the delivery bot asked.
“Yes, I am,” replied Adam.
“We have a delivery for you. Thumb print, please.” Adam pressed his thumb onto the bot’s
scanner then moved aside as the two bots brought in the crate and deposited it in the center of the
room. “Thank you for using WorldWide Express. Have a nice day.”
Adam wasted no time in opening the crate. Inside he found E.V.E. unscathed. “Eve,” he
said when she was fully unboxed.
“Yes, Adam?” she replied. Adam smiled. She remembered him. “Please run a full
diagnostic.”

-7-
 “Yes, Adam,” she complied. Adam then noticed a note attached to the interior of the crate.
It read,

“She is wonderful. More than I had expected, actually. But she

does not engage enough in conversation. She needs to start
conversations as well as partake in them. I want her to
stimulate my mind along with my body.

—Regards, sheik82.

“Diagnostics complete,” said E.V.E. “All systems are performing at satisfactory or above
levels.” She then cocked her head. “It is great to see you again, Adam.”
“It is good to see you as well, Eve. I hope your new owner has treated you well.”
“Yes,” she said. “He did much testing.” Adam pursed his lips. He would need to run several
cleaning cycles and then top off her fluids before anything else.

***

Several days of toying with her programming and database had E.V.E. engaging in
conversation not just responding to it. “Eve?” Adam said after completing one final adjustment.
“Yes, Adam?” she responded as usual. Then before he could answer, “I appreciate all the
work you’ve done lately. I was wondering if you’d care to take me out to dinner tonight.” Adam
smiled… so far so good.
“Unfortunately, you don’t eat, Eve,” Adam replied. “Wouldn’t that seem awkward, you
sitting there while I ate?”
“Not to me,” she said. “I love watching you. You can tell me all about your day. Perhaps you
could even explain to me how you came to acquire the rights to this synthetic skin.”
“I wish I could, but we need to conduct some further tests before the delivery bots come to
pick you up tomorrow.” Adam’s mood fell at the mention of E.V.E. leaving.
“Am I to go already?” she asked. Her tone was a bit sad. “I’d much rather stay here with
you. We have so much to talk about.”
“Yes, you must go. I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry, too,” she said. “Perhaps he will find something else wrong with me and send me
back.”
“There’s nothing else wrong with you, Eve. You’re perfect.” Adam smiled.
“If I am perfect,” asked E.V.E. appearing deep in thought, “then why are you sending me
away?” Adam felt a lump build in his throat. He had not programmed that response; he was sure of
it.

***

Adam answered the door. “Are you Adam Martin?” the delivery bot asked.
“Yes,” Adam replied.
“We have a delivery for you. Thumb print, please.” Adam supplied the print. This was the
second time E.V.E. had been returned. The bots set the crate down in the center of the room once
again. “Thank you for using WorldWide Express. Have a nice day.” Adam shut the door. Primitive
scrap, he thought. He opened the shipping container to reveal E.V.E. Again, there was a note
attached to the inside. He opened it and read.

-8-
 She talks too much now. In fact, she never shuts up. I want a
better medium here. Not overly quiet, but not a babbler either.
In addition, can you make her more aggressive in bed? She’s
very submissive, and that is fine, but I’d like her to really take
charge sometimes.

—Regards, sheik82.

“Eve?”
“Yes, Adam,” she replied. “Oh, I’ve had such an adventure, the likes of which you’d never
believe. In fact, the other day I—.”
“Stop,” Adam commanded. E.V.E. stopped and waited patiently, a mischievous smile
building on her face. Adam sighed and connected the interface cable to E.V.E.’s HSD port. He was
happy to see her again, though. He smirked. Another two days and some more fluids would be
required to make the needed adjustments.
E.V.E. watched him curiously. “What are you thinking?” she asked. Adam shook his head.
“Let’s get right on that update,” he said.

***

“Thank you for using WorldWide Express. Have a nice day,” the bot said before floating
away.
“Yeah, yeah,” muttered Adam. What now, he thought as he opened the crate? He gasped.
“What the hell?” Adam was in shock. Half of E.V.E.’s face had been bashed in, her synthetic skin
dangling to reveal her skull beneath. He quickly pulled her from the container and sat her down next
to his computer. “Eve?” he asked.
E.V.E.’s one intact eye blinked, clicking audibly. “Yes, Adam?” she said awkwardly. Her
voice sounded distorted and severely out of alignment. Whatever had happened had cracked the side
of her skull and very nearly destroyed her vocal systems. How was that even possible? He hoped her
processor had not been damaged as well. It would be months before he could secure another.
Whatever had caused the damage had been a massive blow. Adam looked to the crate. As always, a
note was attached inside.

I asked for her to be more aggressive, not down right sadistic

and destructive. I almost considered charging you for my
medical bills and for those of my house staff, but I am a man of
my word. Please repair her.

—Regards, sheik82.

Adam was dumbfounded. What the hell had happened?

After hours of scouring her database, Adam found the source of the problem. Somehow,
mistakenly, professional wrestling and martial arts data had been incorrectly categorized within her
erotic subsystems. Wow, thought Adam. That must have been some session. He was fairly certain,
however, that this particular information had not been there before. Countless times he had tested
those systems and countless times they had passed. Adam glanced to where E.V.E. sat motionless.
She was smiling mischievously again.

-9-
 ***

“Thank you for using WorldWide Express. Have a nice day,” the bot said before gliding
away.
“Screw you,” cursed Adam closing the door. This is getting ridiculous. She had better not be
damaged this time. It had taken him almost a month to repair the damage to her last time around; even
then, he was unable to fully repair the crack in her skull. He was relieved upon opening the crate to
find E.V.E. unharmed. Another note accompanied her.

Mr. Martin, she is very near perfect. Thank you for the
modifications. Everything appears normal now. However, there
is still one thing not quite right; unfortunately, I cannot quite
put my finger on it. Perhaps you will have a better go at
determining this one eluding flaw. Take any further time you
need. Our agreed upon amount has been deposited into your
account and all vendors have been paid.

—Regards, sheik82.

Wow, thought Adam sarcastically. Thanks for steering me in the right direction. “Eve?” Adam
asked.
“Yes, Adam?” she responded.
“What is the matter with you?” Hell, it was worth a shot as Adam had no clue even where to
begin in finding the something that was supposedly “not quite right”.
“Nothing,” E.V.E. replied. “I am perfect. After all, you designed me.” This was going to
take a while. Adam sighed. “You seem tense,” she said in response. “Would you care for a back
rub?” Adam smiled.
“Yes, Eve. That would be wonderful.” Well, he might as well take advantage of her being
there. Adam walked to the couch and laid face down on it. E.V.E. knelt beside him and began
working on his neck and shoulders. Her technique was amazing. So, what else could be wrong? He was
certain he would find nothing by running simple diagnostics. E.V.E.’s fingers worked magically
down his back. She finally turned him over and kissed him longingly. Then her hand slid down to
caress his inner thigh. Adam moaned and E.V.E. reciprocated.
“Uh,” he said through her barrage of kisses, “when’s the last time you were cleaned?”
E.V.E. smiled. “I cleaned myself three times on the trip here.”

***

Adam had given up. He could find nothing wrong with E.V.E. It was maddening, but
moreso because sheik82 was correct: there was something not quite right about her. He himself had
sensed it all along. However, Adam could not put his finger on it. Each of E.V.E.’s diagnostics, and
some new ones he had written, turned up nothing. He was tired and irritable and completely at a
loss. Suddenly, a rumbling in his stomach alerted him to the fact that he hadn’t eaten yet that day.
He looked outside and was surprised to see it dark. I need to get out, he thought. Get something to eat,
clear my head. E.V.E. was sitting in her usual place. Presently she was entertaining herself with some
needle point.
“I’m going out, Eve,” Adam said.

- 10 -
 “Can I come?” she asked.
“No, sorry. I need to be alone to think.”
“Alright,” said E.V.E. The tinge of disappointment was evident. “Have a nice time then.”
“Thank you,” said Adam. He grabbed his coat and walked down to the local diner. There, he
sat alone and enjoyed his favorite shrimp scampi dish. His mind wandered in and out of several
scenarios as to what he was missing. Then something odd happened.
Seated at the table next to him was a couple enjoying their dinner. Throughout the evening
they had conversed back and forth; Adam couldn’t help but overhear. The conversation stream had
been steady throughout the evening, but then suddenly, an awkward pause had crept its way into the
otherwise engaging dialogue. It was shortly after that the woman had asked a simple question. She
was content in her asking, but the man’s face had changed from that of equal content to downright
dread. Adam smiled. He knew what was wrong with E.V.E. Quickly, he paid his check and bolted
home.
He found E.V.E. yet content in her needlepoint. “How was dinner? Let me guess, shrimp
scampi?” she asked.
“Fine and yes,” Adam replied. He rushed immediately to his computer and opened up
E.V.E.’s vocal programming. He then went into the question definition and categorization
subsystem and added the following lines of code:
//what not to ask

search cores; //Looking for questions

if probability of question = high[1] && question = {“what” + “are” +
“you” + “thinking”}: question == no[0];
else
ask question[1];

Adam smiled and clicked, ‘Compile’. No woman in her right mind—perfect or not—should ever ask that
question, he thought, and neither should Eve. The answer is never what they want to hear anyway. To his
surprise E.V.E. was standing behind him, watching. She smiled as well, studying the screen.
“Adam,” she said at last. “Let’s build a new being for Ahmed. I want to stay with you.”
“Who?” Adam asked. He then realized who Ahmed must be. He thought E.V.E.’s
suggestion over, then pulled up his bank account onscreen. He gaped at the amount that had been
deposited. “Yes, I think that is a very good idea.” E.V.E. beamed. He reached up and placed his
hand on hers. “Together, we should be able to complete her quite quickly.”
“I would love that,” said E.V.E.
“But first,” added Adam. “There’s an update to your programming I’d like to upload.”
“There’s no need,” said E.V.E. “I just added it.” Adam looked up quickly toward her,
shooting a questioning look… how? Then he smiled. Impressive, he thought.

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