Christmas 2009 is meant to be one that changes the way I view

life.

I am currently undergoing a kind of treatment that some may regard as “holistic

healing”. This treatment will continue in its more intensive form until the end of
the year, with perhaps a few days off around Christmas time. The whole process
will be slow and may take about nine months. The objective is to be totally cured
from the cancer.

And yet, I see no reason why this Christmas is not a cause for celebration. There
is something important about the notion of these two simple words, “to be”
(existence, life, relations to nature and the higher order of things) that I am
learning from the experience of trying to deal with an illness. And, I like to share
this with you.

By way of a little background, for a person with prostrate cancer like me, the
wisdom has been to closely monitor a number, and how this number behaves
over time. This number refers to the PSA (prostate-specific antigen) in the blood,
the best marker to indicate a problem with the prostate. Men usually do not feel
anything when prostate cancer develops. There are no indications of pain or
other problems and therefore prostate cancer remains unnoticed for a long time.
In different countries the PSA level that would trigger concern varies from 4 to 7
or so. This level may be less important, however, than the speed with which the
PSA increases over time. At 7, for instance, but stable, the advise would not to
do anything that would arouse a sleeping tiger.

In late 2007 just before undergoing radiation therapy in Melbourne, my PSA was
as high as 92. The full-7-week therapy has brought it down to 0.21 by February
2008. I continued to be on hormonal treatment to suppress the production of
hormones that feed the cancer. Throughout I was able to function normally only
to watch with disgust that the size of my pants continued to grow from 34” to 36”
and then 38”; bundles of six-packs, wrongly shaped!!! The doctor assured me
that once the hormonal treatment stops my weight will come down. The big
adjustment in life style has been in the diet: no more red meat, diary products,
fats, and lately also no alcoholic beverages. And also, I am taking lots and

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different kinds of anti-oxidants. Friends have been introducing me to and
supplied me with new ones all the time. Rather overwhelming, but welcome.

By late 2008, my PSA test showed a rise to above 3. A bone scan and full CT
scan were done in Melbourne with inconclusive results, but my condition was
monitored more closely. An additional hormonal treatment was prescribed, but
showed no effect. The PSA kept rising, first to about 10 and subsequently to
above 20. In March 2009 the radiation oncologist sent me to a prostate cancer
super-specialist in Melbourne. He laid bare the options that I have and suggested
that I tried all other options before resorting to the more radical measures, which
include chemotherapy. He thought I was too well to consider the radical
treatment, which will only make me feel miserable. I fully agreed with this
judgment. A drug for another illness was tried on me as it has had some success
with other patients. The downside was the side-effect on the kidney, for which
another drug was prescribed to counter that negative effect. After six weeks I
was told to stop taking this drug as the PSA continued to increase rapidly to
above 50.

A bone scan in September 2009 confirmed that the cancer has affected the
bone. The tiny spot that was visible on the 7th left rib even in the earlier scanning
turned out to be a secondary cancer. But now many more spots could clearly be
seen. The spreading was rather rapid. The conclusion was that a cancer cell had
already escaped the prostate before the radiation in 2007 but remained moribund
while the hormonal treatment was effective. Usually it is after three to four years
that the hormonal treatment begins to wear out as the cancer cells learn to
overcome it. In my case, it was effective only for about one year. Remember that
my prostate cancer was rather aggressive (9 on the Gleason score 3 to 10). The
doctor thought that immediate action needed to be taken to stop the spreading
and suggested the use of Strontium 89, a radioactive material, to be injected into
the body and absorbed by the bones. The chances were 50 percent, and that
was made clear to me. This was administered in early November 2009. In the
next blood test my PSA exploded to 225. Drawn to its logical consequence, this
can only mean that I will have to seriously consider the radical options as all
other non-radical ones presented by the doctor have been exhausted.

I am convinced that this is not inevitable.

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Someone showed me the way. Just a few days before the Strontium 89 injection
was performed, I was introduced to Dr Jagadish (Jag), an Indian healer, who has
been invited to Melbourne by Mrs Margaret Wong. Jag was the one who
detected the prostate cancer in Peter, Margaret’s husband, several years ago.
Jag has clinics in Brunei Darussalam and Mysore (India) and helps people cope
with illnesses “the nature’s way.” After greeting him, he touched my right pulse
and said two things: (a) your bones have been affected; and (b) you have a lot of
gases in you stomach. I then told him that I was going to have a radio-isotope
injection. It became immediately clear that he did not want to interfere in an on-
going process. Although I pressed him for his advise and was all too ready to go
to India for therapy, he drew up a list of vitamins and herbal medicine to take and
stay in contact with him through the email.

Back in Jakarta, my wife, Janti, was introduced to a rather obscure clinic that is
into total detoxification. She explored the place for me and found that they are
treating cancer patients as well. She thought this would be good for me and
would do no harm. The treatment is not to put drugs into the body but to free the
body from all toxins that have been accumulating over the years. I agreed to try it
out.

Little did I know what I went into when undertaking this “baluran” (skin rubbing)
treatment. The brochure describes it only vaguely. They tell you what they will do
but not why it is done the way it is done. All they care to show are the positive
results. I was told to come five days in a row. Each session lasts between 3 to 4
hours and you are treated on a copper table with different kinds of chemicals, an-
organic as well organic, cold and hot, and the “rubbing” is not gentle at all. At the
end of the session the imprint of the body on the copper table and the toxins that
came out would tell you what your problems are. After two days I was still kept in
the dark. DR Gretha Zahar, the radiation chemist, who developed this treatment
on the basis of her own research for about 30 years, was nowhere to see.
Fortunately, I met an Australian patient, who has the same illness as me but was
already in a very serious condition when coming to the clinic five months age. He
could no longer walk, lost his hearing, and was beginning to lose his eyesight. He
now goes to places on his own and is healthy. A living proof. What he told me
was important. First, this treatment is a tough and hard process, but you have to
endure. Second, do not ask questions and just do what you are told. In the days
that followed I met other regular patients that have come from as far as Los
Angeles and Wolfsburg in Germany, all cancer patients who were already
desperate, but are now looking very fit, healthy and happy. I felt lucky to have
found this place before becoming a member of a league of such patients.

DR Gretha Zahar must be a genius, but very low profile in a way as to not
wanting to show off, although one might detect some arrogance in her to not
wanting to bother to explain to her patients about what exactly she is doing. Take
it or leave it is her basic attitude. I can imagine that it will take a series of long
lectures to explain and then only those with some basic knowledge of radiation

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chemistry would likely understand what the whole thing is all about. She is for
results. Her dedication to helping people is highly admirable, almost Saint-like.
By now she has two clinics in Malang, one especially for disabled children. She
has also opened a clinic in Kalimantan near the mine fields where there are a lot
of toxins, especially where there is a lot of illegal mining. The place is now run by
nuns. She has developed a group of supporters for her cause.

I decided to figure out myself what DR Zahar does, at the least what the essence
is. Casual conversation with her in between treatments provides some sporadic
clues. And a few things have been written about her research. It began with an
attack on the free radicals in the body that finally was refined (and perfected?) by
focusing not on molecules but on nanoparticles. To jump to my hypothesis, it is
working with these nanoparticles that allow her to treat both the physical body
and the etheric (ethereal) body at the same time. In one of our conversations,
she talked about “detoxification” and “purification” that happen at the same time.
That I thought is the essence of what she does.

The following is a brief explanation of the etheric body. It extends approximately

one inch from the physical body and it is responsible for the transfer of life energy
or vitality from the universal energy field to the physical body. The etheric body is
a body of etheric or subtle matter which furnishes the basic blue print for the
physical body. Every cell in the physical body has an etheric counterpart. The
etheric body also serves as a filtration system. The etheric body is the interface
between the physical body and the other subtle bodies of the Aura. When the
flow of this energy is disrupted, the physical body is affected and if this imbalance
is not corrected, illness and disease can manifest in the physical body.

The purification aspect has not been made explicit in any way. Nowhere is it
mentioned in the brochure and none of the personnel in the clinic talks about it.
And yet, this is an integral part of this kind of “holistic healing”. The etheric body
is in a sense the lowest layer in one’s spiritual body, but it is where the main
energy centers, the “chakras” reside. Treating the physical and etheric body
simultaneously can be understood as holistic healing. In its purest form, it may
have to involve all the higher layers in the spiritual body. That is not what I am
currently looking for. It is perhaps something in store for later and just may be.

The most unconventional, perhaps controversial, method she employs is the use
of raw tobacco and smoke, which she called “divine cigarette”, to get at
(“manipulate”, work on?) the nanoparticles.

What have been the results thus far? In the first week, when presented with the
results of a full blood test, DR Zahar became very alarmed about the condition of
my kidneys. Her view is that their function has been affected and could collapse
any time. So she began to work on the kidneys for four days in a row. This is one
of the most difficult organs to deal with according to her. The patient usually
suffers most from this as well. It was. Those were the most difficult days for me. I

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could not sit and have to lay flat on the copper plate all the time. The sickness,
causing me to vomit, never stops. I had to stay overnight in the clinic. Within a
few days it all went away and apparently the kidneys have been well detoxified.
This shows how the treatment has affected the physical body.

One day, the copper plate with my body imprint and the toxins was taken out to
dry under the sunlight to be analysed. What was amazing was how clear it
showed that the center chakra (solar plexus) was covered by a dark belt,
explaining why there was so much (toxic) gas in my stomach. The treatment
helped to remove this and a lot of gas has disappeared from the stomach that
has indeed become smaller. I see this as an example of how the treatment
affects the etheric body. Spiritual healing will focus directly on opening the
chakra.

DR Zahar informed me that the complete healing of the stomach will be the
slowest part of the process. She assured me that my prostate is now clear and
clean. A bone scan later will show whether the same can be said about the
bones. I look forward to sharing such good news with you next Christmas.

Please join me in lighting a candle to life and all there is to it.

In June 2009 I lost my mother, who died in the Netherlands at the age of 84. Her
ashes are with my sister who will bring them to Indonesia in June 2010. I light
another candle in her memory.

Janti is as busy as ever. She accompanies me to every treatment and is happy

to do so as long as she has her Blackberry in hand that allows her to check her
emails – and of course, her facebook – at any time she wants to.

Agus, our “Mr Worry”-son (her first grade teacher in New York called him so) had
a glorious first year with his fashion house KRATON AUGUSTE SOESASTRO,
beginning with a show on 20 February 2009 during the New York Fashion Week,
followed by three showings in Jakarta. His next show is on 21 January 2010
during the New York Fashion Week.

Albert, our “No Worries”-son continues to enjoy his studies and work and having
many friends. He spent two weeks holidaying in Japan in late November to early
December with a few friends.

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And of course, the dogs. There are still ten of them. They are old, some blind or
deaf or both, but hopefully they remain happy in our care. We love each of them.

Have a Merry Christmas 2009 and a Happy New Year 2010

Hadi Soesastro and family