Mo’s Scientific Journal – Entry 2

The Capstick Consquence

Over the last 2 years, a viral disease has been being spread across London. The infection, named
after patient zero, Alex Capstick, is classified to a strain of fuckboy diseases; however unlike Shomit
syndrome, the Capstick consequence doesn’t infect people under the age of 18. Its exact structure is
currently unknown, but the damage caused by this disease is severe.

The disease has 2 phases; the carrier has genetically evolved to get past the outer walls most
patients have put up via manipulation of emotions and pretending to be a nice guy. Phase 2 is the
main infection sequence which releases the true potent nature of the disease. After intercourse, the
patient experiences incredible moments of euphoria until nothing is left but empty chasm ( except
for one hole) of their feelings. Patients have reported never feeling the same and having peaked in
pleasure.

Our current methods for prevention of the disease include but are not limited to: Sex changes via
Mr Topper, genital mutilation, and hormonal therapy. We are currently unsure if the illness is
curable, as it is possible that the disease has ruined them for the potential life they could have had
before being diagnosed.

Fortunately, patterns are appearing to emerge to how the disease is spreading. It is clear that the
disease is incredibly active on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Locations, such as Roxy and
Saucy, seem to be prime setting for the disease to spread rapidly. It is believed that the vile
environment of Saucy - London’s rapiest curry house, results in mass infection since the majority of
Saucy population are stereotyped to be diseased and dirty. However, from my first entry in the
journal, we require evidence in order to make such a claim even though India is enough evidence.

Experiment 1:
In order to test the public perception of the Capstick consquence, blind trials were initiated. Our
subject, Anja, was knowingly given a placebo. She did not contract the disease nevertheless French
researchers were absolutely certain that she was infected, highlighting the difficulty in proving the
spread of the disease. There were some incredible results to this study though. The disease was
supposed to infect females only but this resulted in a case of a French male experiencing the
Capstick consequence with vastly different symptoms. Astonishing jealousy and betaness seemed to
be the biggest symptoms but since there are such few cases, it would be unwise to extrapolate. It is
possible the male at hand, is actually a converted lesbian, but like I said previously, we require
evidence.

Conclusion
The future of this disease is unknown and our best hope of this disease is to hope it mimics the path
of the dormant “Stevo” disease. This ancient disease showed us how a disease only affects slags that
rank less than 6 out of 10 on the standard hot or not scale.