Welcome

----WELCOME-------
WELCOME----
HONORING DICK BERTRAM

THE co-creator of
The word Benestrophe, the benestrophe!
1916 - 2000 with love for our
opposite of catastrophe,
earth
comes from the Latin bene and those who are passing
meaning “good” and the through
Greek strophe meaning Our beloved Ananda.
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“turning.” Benestrophe is a
From BenestropheCentral
Twelve- Step way to
Newsletter Archive The Declaration of
Heaven on Earth. The
Introduction Interdependence
Benestrophe fellowship is a We pledge allegiance to Life,
The 12 Steps
self-organizing network of and to the planet on which we
The 12 Traditions
men, women, and children live,
Conducting a meeting
who celebrate Sacred one world, interdependent,
Suggested interactions with Truth and
Relationship. Our goal is
Benestrophe Stories Enlightenment for all.
Unity, Freedom, and Bliss.
Find a group May Love grant us the
Our primary purpose is to serenity to
Vision of Benestrophe
teach Love by the way we accept the things we cannot
Benestrophe News
live. The only requirement change,
Start a group the courage to change the
for belonging to
Benestrophe is a desire to things we can,
and the wisdom to know the
be happy.
difference.
Benestrophe is being here
now!
NOTICE
This book is a preliminary publication. It is intended for use among
individuals, pilot groups, and others involving the development of
the Benestrophe process. The full final version of Benestrophe
Rising will be published in the near future.
The purpose of this publication is to serve as a textbook for

Benestrophe meetings. Groups are encouraged to use the chapters
on the Twelve Steps as a guide for discussion and exploration.
The word Benestrophe, the opposite of catastrophe, comes from
the Latin bene meaning “good” and the Greek strophe meaning
“turning.” Benestrophe is a Twelve- Step way to Heaven on Earth.
The Benestrophe fellowship is a self-organizing network of men,
women, and children who celebrate Sacred Relationship. Our goal
is Unity, Freedom, and Bliss. Our primary purpose is to teach Love
by the way we live. The only requirement for belonging to
Benestrophe is a desire to be happy.
Our world is too precious for anything less than Love
Love is the Self-organizing Energy that heals and holds the world
together. Having forgotten the Love that is our Reality, humankind
has put itself in bondage to fear. As we drift toward catastrophe, we
are awakening to the necessity of transforming separation and fear
into Wholeness and Love.
Truth will set us free
The age of leaders has come and gone. The suffering in our lives
and in our world is our responsibility. The root cause of all
suffering is the mind’s belief that we are separate. The mind sees
separation and fear, while the ‘Heart knows Wholeness and Love.
Truth is the way that aligns our lives with Love. By embracing
Truth, we are co-creating the critical mass of Love-Energy that is
transforming our planet.
The Vision of Benestrophe

Heaven on Earth is possible
We are one Spiritual Family, here to love and care for one another.
Through focusing on a vision of Unity, Freedom, and Bliss, while
accepting current reality, we are shifting human destiny from
catastrophe to Benestrophe.
Co-creators of Benestrophe heal the pain of separation
Meeting in groups of two or more, we share experience, strength,

and Sacred Touch. Aware that strength lies in defenselessness, we
share our vulnerability. We do not judge, label, gossip, or give
advice. We respect the confidentiality of all that is shared. When to
speak is superfluous, we remain silent. Listening with the Heart,
we touch, hug, dance, sing, laugh, cry, work, play, and breathe
together. Gazing into each other’s eyes, we merge into Bliss.
The key to Relationship is commitment

We enter Relationship to heal ourselves and to support others in
healing themselves. We commit to a life of reverence, humility, and
rigorous honesty. When anything less than Love surfaces, we
remember that the Wholeness of Relationship is more important
than any issue. Keeping communication open, we recreate
Relationship anew, fresh in the Perfection of the moment.
The Twelve Steps of Benestrophe choreograph our dance of Life
Our craving for approval and control takes us into the past or
future where Love cannot be found. The Twelve Steps offer a way to
dance in the Perfection of the moment if you are tired of feeling
“not enough,” and would like to be happy; we invite you to join us
in taking these steps:
1. We recognize that we have been allowing fear to block our

experience of Love.
2. We trust the miracle Love, as experienced through Sacred

Touch, to heal the pain of separation.
3. Surrendering to the mystery of Life, we commit our will

and our lives to the intuitive wisdom of the Heart.
4. We take a searching and courageous inventory of

ourselves.
5. Choosing to release guilt, we tell the truth to a trusted

person about everything we have done that is inconsistent
with Love.
6. Choosing to manifest health, joy, and abundance, we live

consciously in gratitude for the gift of Life.
7. Choosing to resonate with Unity, Freedom, and Bliss, we

humbly celebrate Sacred Relationship with ourselves, one
another, and all that is.
8. Choosing to heal our lives through forgiveness, we allow

Love to replace blame.
9. We make direct amends to people from whom we have

withheld Love, except when to do so would harm ourselves or
others.
10. When suffering surfaces, we breathe consciously into our

feelings, relax, and merge into the Perfection of the moment.
11. We seek through prayer, meditation, and Sacred Touch to
expand our conscious contact with Love, asking only for
inner guidance and the courage to take action.
12. Awakening spiritually as a result of these principles, we

gratefully share The Vision of Benestrophe and teach Love by
the way we live. Sharing Benestrophe is Benestrophe!
We claim progress rather than Perfection
No one among us has been able to maintain absolute

adherence to these principles. The Twelve Steps guide us. By
embracing the Steps of Benestrophe, we transform fear,
greed, and separation into beauty, excellence, and
completion. Through learning optimism, we develop the
ability to see the good in everything.
Discovering we are perfect just being, rather than trying to be

perfect, we love ourselves exactly as we are, and that’s
enlightenment.
The Twelve Traditions of Benestrophe foster community
Our common welfare comes first. Individual and planetary

healing emerges from the purity of Sacred Touch.
Bènestrophe groups are autonomous and self-supporting. We
do not endorse or oppose causes. We are not allied with any
nation, politics, religion, or institution. We remember our
common purpose by reading aloud The Vision of Benestrophe
at meetings. To protect our fellowship from the influence of
our egos, we maintain anonymity with the media. Anonymity
fosters humility, ever reminding us to place principle above
personality, cooperation above competition, and to take our
guidance from Love.
The Declaration of Interdependence
We pledge allegiance to Life, and to the planet on which we

live, one world, interdependent, with Truth and
Enlightenment for all. May Love grant us the serenity to
accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change
the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Benestrophe is being here now!
INTRODUCTION
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate,
our deepest fear is that we are powerful
beyond measure. It is our light, not our
darkness, that most frightens us. We ask
ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not
to be? You are a child of God. Your playing
small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing
enlightened about shrinking so that other
people won’t feel insecure around you. We are
all meant to shine, as children do. We were
born to make manifest the glory of God that is
within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in
everyone. As we let our own light shine, we
give other people permission to do the same; as
we’re liberated from our own fear, our
presence automatically liberates others.
A Course in Miracles
All human experience can be divided into two categories:

Love and fear. Love is the Self-organizing energy that heals
and holds the world together. Personal global problems
dissolve in the higher consciousness of Love.
The Vision of Benestrophe is intended to guide us in the way

we were meant to live—joyously, abundantly with Love. Fear
is the absence of Love. Right fear dominates our
consciousness and is the underlying cause of our current
world crisis. Under the influence of fear, humanity has
brought our planet to the brink of catastrophe. The mind
resists looking at unpleasant reality, and current reality is so
painful most of us choose not to see it. This refusal to see is
known as denial. When we refuse to look at what we have
done, when we deny our role in what is, we think of ourselves
as victims. The mind does not admit we are individually
responsible for our plight that we are manifesting—with every
thought and belief—the world we see around us.
Humanity has put itself in bondage to fear
All negative emotion, including anger, greed, jealousy, and

resentment is an expression of fear. When we live in fear, we
feel alienated, separated, fragmented, and different from
others. When we live in Love, we feel whole, connected, and
in touch with the experience of our inherent Unity.
Love is more than emotion. Love is experiential knowledge of

Oneness, the direct experience of connectedness with
everything and everybody. In short, Love is a higher state of
consciousness. Love is the supreme Reality. With Love, there
is no ego, no criticism, and no judgment. Because Love is
unconditional, the Self is One with all that is.
Fear takes us out of the present moment. The present

moment is Perfect, and all else is illusion. We now know
conclusively that the Universe is made up of intelligent
energy. This energy is calling out to us at all times, through
all circumstances, inviting us to join it.
Love is a power greater than ourselves. Through Love, we

merge with other beings. We return home to a place of
Oneness with all creation. With our Hearts open to Love, we
know peace. Through gratitude, optimism, and reverence for
Life, we empower our lives with beauty, excellence and
completion.
What Is Benestrophe?
Benestrophe is a process that is capable of accelerating the

enlightenment now taking place on our planet. Benestrophe
is not a religion, nor is it intended to serve as a process of
recovery from chemical dependency. We hold a unifying
worldview that recognizes the Wholeness of a Universe of
spiritual energy. We recognize that the body is an instrument
of experience, and that experiencing Love through the body
is a process of Self-Love.
Benestrophe is a universal healing community. United in

common purpose, we are a self-organizing, spiritual
fellowship of anonymous men, women, and children who
celebrate unconditional Love. Our primary purpose is to
teach Love by the way we live. The only requirement for
belonging to Benestrophe is the yearning for Wholeness.
The Twelve Steps of Benestrophe are suggested as a path of

action. Recognizing that the creative process begins with
choice, we choose to heal our lives, our planet, and our
relationships. We deliberately choose to take control of our
lives and contribute to the emerging consciousness of Love in
the world.
The Twelve Steps of Benestrophe describe a process of

transcending the illusory part of ourselves we call the mind.
The mind perceives separateness rather than Unity, which is
our birthright. When we transcend the mind, we experience
the higher power of Love and realize that we have caused the
unhappiness in our lives by denying our spiritual nature. We
hold transcending the mind to be the foundation of all
spiritual practice.
We start where we are
The past is gone and the future isn’t here yet. The resent
moment is all there is. Living in the past or future takes us
out of the moment, the only place where we can experience
Love. The present moment is Perfect. We can always find
Wholeness and Love in the here and now.
When we work the Twelve Steps of Benestrophe, we take a

good look at current reality. We do not deny what we find. We
embrace the current situation as our starting point. Our
world is too endangered for anything less than honesty, and
too precious for anything less than Love.
We are beings of Light, here for a purpose. Although we have

been sidetracked, our mission of Self-discovery is, right now,
vitally important to all humanity. Overtime, we have
forgotten the Love that is our Reality, which has, in turn, put
us in bondage to fear. Humankind is now charged with the
task of rekindling a new consciousness. A worldview based on
the principles of Love, not fear, is essential if we are to
achieve our goal of Unity, Freedom, and Bliss. As we drift
toward catastrophe, we are awakening to the necessity of
transforming separation and fear into Wholeness and Love.
Heaven on Earth is possible. Co-creators of Benestrophe see

world peace not only as possible, but as inevitable. We are
bringing about the Reality of peace through the power of
vision and intention. Intention, clearly defined, vividly
focused, and persistently applied, produces the desired
result. By focusing on a vision of Unity, Freedom and Bliss,
while embracing current reality, we are shifting human
destiny from catastrophe to Benestrophe.
Lives change when attitudes change
The age of leaders has come and gone. We are all our own
leaders. To go the old way and follow leaders is a form of
psychological imprisonment. Deep inside, we yearn to be
free. We recognize that freedom is Self-bestowed by letting go
of fear.
When the famed Canadian medical researcher, Sir William

Osler (1849-1919), was asked the secret of a long and full life,
he replied, “Contract a chronic, terminal disease and take
care of it.” The success of Twelve-Step groups such as
Alcoholics Anonymous for over fifty years confirms the
wisdom of Sir William’s answer. Only when we recognize our
illness do we gain the power to bring about our wellness.
By living the Twelve Steps of Benestrophe, we transform

attitudes based on fear and resistance into attitudes based on
Love and acceptance. As we accept responsibility for our
suffering, we respond to Life with acceptance and gratitude.
By recognizing that our attempts to control Life do not work,
we build our inner strength through the higher power of Love.
We choose Heaven on Earth
As we look around us, we see war, disease, famine, poverty,

environmental degradation, and a world in crisis. Denying the
facts or trying to flavor them to suit our dispositions only
promotes separation and fear. When we wholeheartedly
embrace current reality, however, we accept responsibility
for the beliefs that create our experience.
Crisis always has two sides. The Chinese word for crisis is
wei-chi. Wei means ''beware'' or ''danger,'' while chi means
''opportunity for change.'' Both elements are contained in the
idea of crisis. Along with the potential to create hell, comes
the opportunity to create Heaven. Along with the threat of
worldwide catastrophe, comes the possibility of global
Benestrophe.
A wave of consciousness is spreading over the face of our

planet. Humankind is becoming aware that the celebration of
Love will open the door to Heaven on Earth. United by Love,
we live in Truth.
DETAILS OF THE THE TWELVE STEPS OF BENESTROPHE

TWELVE STEPS OF
BENESTROPHE
1. We recognize that we have been allowing fear to block
Step One our experience of Love.
Step Two 2. We trust the miracle of Love, as experienced through
Step Three Sacred Touch, to heal the pain of separation.
Step Four 3. Surrendering to the mystery of Life, we commit our
Step Five will and our lives to the intuitive wisdom of the Heart.
Step Six 4. We take a searching and courageous inventory of
Step Seven ourselves.
Step Eight 5. Choosing to release guilt, we tell the truth to a trusted
Step Nine person about everything we have done that is inconsistent
Step Ten with Love.
Step Eleven 6. Choosing to manifest health, joy, and abundance, we
Step Twelve live consciously in gratitude for the gift of Life.
7. Choosing to resonate with Unity, Freedom, and Bliss,
we humbly celebrate Sacred Relationship with ourselves,
one another, and all that is.
8. Choosing to heal our lives through forgiveness, we
allow Love to replace blame.
withheld Love, except when to do so would
harm ourselves or others.
10. When suffering surfaces, we breathe consciously into
our feelings, relax, and merge into the Perfection of
the moment.
11. We seek through prayer, meditation, and Sacred
Touch to expand our conscious contact with Love, asking
only for inner guidance and the courage to take action.
12. Awakening spiritually as a result of these principles,
we gratefully share The Vision of Benestrophe and teach
Love by the way we live. Sharing Benestrophe is
Benestrophe!
STEP ONE
We recognize that we have been

allowing fear to block our experience of
Love.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt once told the American people:
We have nothing to fear but fear itself.
We’ve all heard this quote-it’s almost a cliché in our culture. But how many of us have
truly considered what it means? We have nothing to fear but fear. Think about it. What
is it that keeps our lives from being happy, joyful, and free? If we are honest with
ourselves, we have to admit that, indeed, the culprit is fear.
Because we fear, we suffer
Virtually all of our suffering is caused by fear. When we actually stop and consider
what we are suffering over, most of us have to concede that what is happening in this
moment is not so bad. We’re sitting somewhere-in our living room, on a bus, or
propped up in bed-and reading this book. Maybe the light isn’t as good as it could be, or
the temperature is not to our liking; and, if we’re reading outside, perhaps there are flies.
But that’s nothing to suffer over-unless we interpret our discomfort as a personal attack
by the Universe. In that case, we will get angry and will suffer over such small
inconveniences.
It’s quite silly when you look at it, but we all do a fair amount of suffering over really
inconsequential things. We lose our keys, have a flat tire, find our new shirt is missing a
button, or burn the pot roast and often react as though it were a major catastrophe. It
does not occur to us in these moments that we are afraid, but we are.
Nothing can hurt you unless you give it the power to do so.
The reason we react with such strong emotion to such minor and soon-to-be-forgotten
events is that they trigger the fear of unworthiness we carry inside. The keys always
turn up, it’s no big deal to sew on a button or change a tire, and the pot roast is probably
still edible and might even be good. But the voice inside is saying, You idiot, you can’t
ever do anything right! It figures that you’d pick right now to blow it. You can’t even
relax for ten minutes without some damned irritation.
The event may be trivial, but the suffering is real. And even after the moment passes,
our confrontation with the fears we have about not being good enough can leave a
residue of negativity that doesn’t completely evaporate for hours. As we look at these
episodes from the cozy perspective of sitting behind this book, the tendency might be to
dismiss them as ridiculous. But how much of this precious life have we wasted being
upset by such ridiculous episodes?
The small-time sufferings that are sprinkled through our days are, of course, the tip of a
much larger iceberg. All of us have done some big-time suffering as well-have lost
loved ones, have become impaired in some way, have failed at something we’d worked
hard for and considered important, or have been disillusioned. Some of us have been the
victims of crime, war, disease, or poverty. But, even these things are not, in and of
themselves, the source of our suffering. It is what our minds do with them that creates
suffering.
Fear is the killer of excellence, the trigger that opens the door to our
limiting beliefs.
Kendrick Mercer
Our minds generate fear, and fear causes suffering. We don’t suffer because we are
alone in this moment, we suffer because our fear tells us we will always be alone and
that thought makes a statement about who we are. We may have lost our business, our
spouse, or our job, but what makes us suffer is the mind’s projections that declare we
are failures and that losing these things means our life is ruined forever. So, although we
are sitting here reading this book, quite comfortable in the present moment, our minds
may be dwelling in the past or worrying about the future.
The answer is within

All of our lives, we do battle with this experience of suffering. Some of us work very
hard to obtain the things we believe will make us happy. Others of us retreat into
alcohol, drugs, or some other addiction to escape our pain. Some of us wallow in our
suffering, hating it, but unable to trust what might lie beyond it. Some try to ignore
suffering, thinking that the appearance of happiness will create the genuine item. No
matter what we do to escape our suffering, it doesn’t seem to work, and the reason it
doesn’t work is we are manipulating the effect, but ignoring the cause.
If we want to stop suffering, what we need to come to terms with is not the outer event,
but the inner reaction. We don’t solve the problem by training ourselves to put the keys
on the key hook or having our tires checked more often. Happiness will not be found by
struggling to gain more control over the external circumstances of our lives, because it
isn’t those circumstances that cause suffering. It is fear that causes suffering.
We hear a lot these days about low self-esteem. A poor self image is the fear that we are
not good enough. Even deeper, however, is the fear that we might be powerful beyond
our wildest dreams. It is the power of our Light, not of our darkness, that we fear the
most.
It takes conscious effort, therefore, to go against the voices of the world

and to actualize our spiritual nature. To go within is not to turn our backs
on the world; it is to prepare ourselves to serve it most effectively.
Marianne Williamson
We have involved ourselves in a quest for happiness that is doomed to failure. We have
set up a situation as impossible as wanting to climb a mountain while staying indoors or
go swimming without getting wet. The change required to transform our lives is not an
outer change, but an inner one. It has nothing to do with achievements, acquisitions, or
honors and everything to do with our moment-to-moment awareness. The only way to
truly change our lives is to change our minds. And what we need to change about our
minds is fear-and the notion that we are separate.
Somewhere along the line, the point of awareness that allows us a unique experience of
life changed from a window to a door. We lost our tribal identity and our sense of
connectedness to Nature. We developed strong individual egos and our sense of self
became something separate and walled off from the rest of Life. This sense of
separation gives rise to the experience of fear. Fear and separation are a package deal.
As long as we believe that we are separate, we’re going to be afraid; and the greater our
fear, the more we think, feel, and act in ways that enhance our sense of separateness.
Fear becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy. It gives us a distorted view of the world, and so
long as we remain unaware of the distortion, we continue to build our lives upon a
premise that guarantees suffering.
We lose sight of the fact that fear begins with a belief on our part. A core belief, such as
I am not worthy--or--- There is not enough, colors the way we respond to Life. When
someone gets something we wanted for ourselves, decides they aren’t in love with us, or
challenges one of our cherished opinions, we feel threatened and alienated. Our attitudes
and actions, then, reflect this fear, creating an atmosphere where the sense of separation
is intensified.
An important element in our experience of separation is the belief we all hold that we
are special. Specialness, by definition, sets us apart. As long as we equate self-worth
with specialness, we see some people as higher and some as lower, some as deserving
and some as not deserving, some as more lovable and some as less lovable. Our efforts
to preserve our sense of specialness readily translate into fear. In a world where one
gains at the expense of others, scarcity, injustice, and hatred are assured. In trying to
become special enough to win love, we lose the very thing for which we long.
Love is who we are
When we think about what we want, the pictures that come to mind are diverse. We
might want a more fulfilling job, a fancier car, a committed relationship, or the ability to
fit into pair of jeans four sizes smaller. But, beneath all these varied desires is the
yearning for Wholeness. No matter how much we have, it is never enough. The reason
for this is that the love we seek is a distortion. If someone were to insist that a husband
was a daughter or a shovel was a hoe, we would have no problem seeing why their lives
did not work. Yet, we make a similar mistake when we equate Love with the things that
makes us feel special. Love is a word we use to cover a whole range of experiences
from our relationship with Divinity to our relationship with chocolate; but what we
think of as Love is more often than not attraction, attachment, or sentiment. The only
Love that is capable of filling us is the unconditional Love that comes from the
knowledge that we are Whole.
Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.

Kahlil Gibran
The notion that we are separate causes us to confuse Love with our experience of
special people in those special circumstances that reflect back to us our own sense of
specialness. Yet specialness is nothing more than a gentler aspect of fear-a delusion we
entertain when we feel we have made separation work for us.
Any love that is based on specialness, any love that we can have more of than someone
else or that can be lost or given unwisely does not affirm Wholeness and is, therefore,
not real.
Unlike the love that assures our ego that we are special, real Love has no conditions.
The ego cannot grasp unconditional Love, because the ego, by definition, arises from
our perception of separateness, and that perception automatically gives rise to fear. The
Love that will change our lives involves the recognition that we are not, in fact,
separate. Such Love involves no risk, holds no judgments, plays no favorites, makes no
demands.
Contrary to popular belief, Love is not something we must earn.

Unconditional Love is an expression of Wholeness, not specialness; of
abundance, not neediness, of Trust, not fear. We experience it as an
overflowing of the Heart. There are no reasons or justifications. Love just is
When we realize this Truth about Love, we discover the Truth about
ourselves in that moment. We are part of Love’s unconditional Wholeness-
Love is who we are.
The Steps of Benestrophe take us through the looking glass
The Twelve Steps of Benestrophe begin with the radical notion that the suffering in our
lives stems, not from what we typically see as to blame for this suffering, but from fear,
which blocks our experience of Love. Furthermore, taking the First Step requires that
we recognize this fear is something we allow. There is no question that such a
perspective represents a major challenge to our egos; for when it is convenient, ego
loves helplessness. However, developing the willingness to work with this notion is
essential to transforming our lives from arenas of struggle into expressions of
prosperity, fulfillment, and enlightenment.
We are better than we know. If we can be made to see it, perhaps for the
rest of our lives, we will be unwilling to settle for less.
Outward Bound
Only when we acknowledge responsibility for our lives will we stop feeling like victims
and enjoy Life to its fullest. By taking the First Step, we begin a process that transforms
our most fundamental sense of who we are, and, by extension, our sense of who others
are and what Life is.
Although we may be accustomed to thinking of spirituality as a journey, the Twelve

Steps of Benestrophe are more like the steps of a sacred dance. Once we work our way
through from One to Twelve, we realize that, in practical terms, out there in our daily
lives where it really matters, each Step comes into play continually; and when we use
the Steps to guide our lives, we grow in wisdom. As time goes by, we learn to dance the
Steps with increasing grace, to combine them in more intricate and beautiful patterns.
When we take the First Step of Benestrophe, we open the door to the life of which
we’ve always dreamed.
The key is willingness
Participating in the scared dance of Benestrophe requires a willingness to take risks, to

suspend cherished beliefs, and to acknowledge the deeper need we all have to know
ourselves as Whole. Spirituality is about realization, not rationalization; about the way
we live, not the way we talk. The ideas, such as responsibility, Wholeness, and
unconditional Love that we encounter in these Steps start out as concepts. Accepting
them intellectually is a beginning. Integrating them until they become Heart-felt realities
in our daily lives will transform our fear and suffering into the experience of Unity,
Freedom, and Bliss.
In each and every moment, we have the freedom to choose, and every
choice determines the direction of our lives.
Olivia Hoblitzelles
In order to transcend our suffering, we must be willing to change the most basic ways
we look at Life. So long as we cling to the belief that what ails us can be fixed by
enhancing our sense of specialness through trying to win approval and gain control, we
live under the influence of fear and cannot escape fear’s painful consequences. We are
often like Pooh with his fist in the honey jar: we want the sweetness of Love, but are
unwilling to do what is necessary to get it. As co-creators of Benestrophe, we must
become conscious co-creators of our own lives. Our initial task in taking the First Step
is to find the willingness to look at the suffering in our lives and take responsibility for
the fearful perceptions that bring it about.
For most of us, this requires courage, because as desperately as we desire to escape the
effects of fear, we can hardly imagine life without it. Rooting out this belief in the
inevitability of fear requires letting go of the notion that we are separate. It requires that
we stop feeding fear through our judgments and learn to embrace the Perfection of the
moment; and that we stop using our relationships to bolster a sense of importance and
start loving one another.
The yearning for Wholeness is a requirement
We are thrilled at the thought of unconditional Love, but afraid to do the one thing
necessary to experience it- give up our carefully crafted egos. When we think that ego is
all we are, we live as though we were the center of everything and see the rest of
creation as the backdrop for our personal drama. But there is no way to keep this
identity and, at the same time, experience Perfection.
There’s a part of every living thing that wants to become itself: the tadpole
into the frog, the chrysalis into the butterfly, a damaged human being into
a whole one. That is spirituality.
Ellen Bass
The yearning for Wholeness is Benestrophe’s requirement for membership because only
when we acknowledge this yearning are we able to put our craving for specialness into
proper perspective. Only then do we become willing to release our beliefs about the
necessity of suffering and do what is required to create a joyful life. When we finally
admit that the experience of Wholeness is what we are really searching for, our pain will
have served its purpose. For, ultimately, it is the pain of separation that motivates us to
abandon the self-serving logic of the mind and attune our ear to the inner call of the
Heart.
Mind is what’s the matter
Ego is the false identity that springs from the notion that we are separate beings, and
mind is the mechanism ego uses to support its existence. The alliance between mind and
ego is so strong that we cannot tell where one begins and the other leaves off. Beliefs
held in the mind translate into the everyday reality we perceive in our world, so what we
think we are is what we seem to become.
Mind directed by ego is the most destructive force in the Universe.

Yogi Amrit Desai
The mind is cunning, baffling, and powerful. It has the ability to back up its attachments
and repulsions with perceptions that make its current position-whatever that may be-
seem absolutely sensible. Because the mind experiences its opinions and interpretations
as truth, it routinely and stubbornly mistakes the relative for the absolute, the unreal for
the Real. Once the mind makes a judgment-that the boss is unfeeling, that the
assignment is beyond our ability, or that a certain group of people have a certain
characteristic-our experience invariably reflects that judgment. Others who do not share
our belief have great difficulty understanding where we are coming from, since their
beliefs generate a completely different experience.
To complicate things even more, the mind is multidimensional. What is real to the mind
at the level of conscious awareness is often a distortion or outright contradiction of what
is held at deeper levels. We ma consciously think we want to create success, attract a
love relationship, or break a habit, but on the unconscious level, there are beliefs that
sabotage our efforts. This is why we can’t simply decide to stamp out fear by sheer
force of will. Our minds are wonderful servants, but they make terrible masters. We
need to learn to quiet the outer mind so we can access and release the underlying
assumptions that serve as the foundation for our sense of self as a separate and limited
being. We need to turn away from that within us that clings to fear and separation and
find that within us that knows Wholeness and Love.
All we need is Heart
When we recognize that we allow fear to block our experience of Love, we are
admitting that our mind has been overshadowing our Heart. Just as we each cherish the
notion of our specialness, within each of us is a place that knows the joy of Oneness.
When the mind becomes quiet and fear is no longer present, the Heart opens and Love
is what remains. Beneath the mind’s judgments, the Heart quietly waits for us to
recognize the power of Love.
The Heart has its reasons which reason knows not of.
Pascal
Who we are from the perspective of the mind is different from who we are at Heart. The
mind works with limitations, comparing and contrasting, scheming and defending,
worrying and regretting. The mind, caught up in what we think and want, keeps us
feeling separate. The Heart, however, knows Wholeness When we are totally in our
Heart-space, we experience a sense of Oneness with Nature in which self-interest
dissolves into compassion, and we feel absolutely fearless. The boundaries between
ourselves and the rest of the world fade, and everywhere we look, we see beauty,
excellence and Perfection.
The more Heart-centered our lives become, the more we touch the Bliss of Wholeness.
Once the mind is no longer center stage, our experience of Life becomes more
immediate, more intense, and more complete. It is ironic that, although we drive
ourselves crazy catering to the desires of the mind, our most treasured experiences come
when we enter the stillness of the Heart.
Love is what is Real
In order to shift our sense of what is real, we have to understand that reality is our
creation rather than something external that we observe. For example, when viewed
from the ocean’s surface, islands appear as isolated projections of land, separate and
distinct; but when viewed from the ocean floor, islands are seen as part of one
connected land mass. What we experience as reality depends on where we happen to be
standing.
When we come to the threshold of truth, our whole being is filled with
power.
Swami Paramananda
For most of us, the place where we now stand reflects the idea of unconditional Love as
idealistic. We choose, instead, to believe in the reality of the mind with its fears and
limitations-even though we must acknowledge that this reality is different for each of us
and is probably even different from the way we experienced reality just a few minutes
ago. The mind is absolutely convinced that we are separate, and fear shapes everything
that the mind sees.
The Heart knows we are not separate and demonstrates this to us over and over again;
but the mind, completely sold on its position, discounts that direct knowledge. Those
moments when the mind opens wide enough to let the Heart shine through are moments
when we look directly into the face of Love. So profound are these moments that we
refer to them as peak experiences. But, although these peak experiences thrill us, they
show us a reality that contradicts what we know to be true. So we explain them away;
we discredit them, and they rapidly become unreal.
But Love is Real. In fact, only Love is Real; all else is illusion. For when we stand
firmly in the Heart, it becomes clear that it is fear that is the illusion. Fear seems more
real to us most of the time, because we live in a Heart-deprived world where everyone
believes in fear. That collective belief creates a very solid-appearing reality. But so did
the collective belief that the world was flat. Just because everyone believed it didn’t
make it so.
Fear is an addiction that colors and distorts our perspective. As with any other
addiction, it seeks to perpetuate itself by creating defenses against anything that
threatens its position. A big part of that defense is the perception of Love as something
we must approach with caution. If the view of the world that unconditional Love would
provide seems far-fetched and unreal to us, it’s merely because of the place where we
are standing. The purpose of these Twelve Steps is to show us how to shift our
perceptions-how to stand someplace else. When we finally stand in that place where
Love is Real, we will see everything in this Life through new eyes. When we do so, we
will know the Reality of Love in a way that our minds can no longer deny. We will not
simply believe in the Reality of Love, but we will perceive that Reality in all of our
interactions.
Bliss is here and now
Bliss is our birthright. It is the state we naturally enter when we choose to stand in the
place where only Love is Real. By taking responsibility for our fear, we enable
ourselves to choose Love; and when we do this, we find that Bliss is not the result of
everything in our lives being exactly the way we want it to be. Bliss is the result of
perceiving whatever is through the eyes of Love.
The reason most of us do not now live in a state of Bliss is that we have a belief system
that tells us Bliss is something special that occurs only occasionally and doesn’t last
because it is not as real as our more mundane experiences. The Truth is, Bliss is always
available; but we filter it out with our beliefs about the reality of fear.
Follow your Bliss!

Joseph Campbell
All beliefs are filters the mind uses to shape reality. Surprisingly, the beliefs that affect
us most profoundly are not the ones that answer the question, What do you believe?
Rather, the most potent beliefs are expressed in the moment-by-moment assumptions
we make about the details in our lives. If we expect a call from a friend that does not
come and we react with anger or upset, it is because of a belief we hold that we are
unworthy and, therefore, are being rejected. If we are irritable over having to do a chore
we hate, it is because of a belief we have that says the chore is beneath us, is too
difficult for us, or is something someone else should have done.
There is nothing intrinsically painful about sitting in a trafficjam, cleaning a toilet, being
spoken to in a sharp tone of voice, or being ten minutes late, but our fearful beliefs and
the interpretations they give rise to can turn any of these events into a cause for
suffering. If we would simply stand in another place, we could experience the same
event and feel Blissful. Bliss, like suffering, is not the result of the circumstances in our
lives. Both stem from our relationship with the circumstance. When we allow fear to be
our reality, we suffer; when we live in the belief of Love’s Reality, we live in a state of
Bliss.
We are responsible for changing our lives
In order to allow Love fully into our lives, we must become aware that we are
responsible for creating our reality. This is true in a literal sense: how we respond to
Life is the reality we experience. If we respond with anger, judgment, self-pity, or some
other manifestation of fear, then we will experience a painful reality; and if we respond
with compassion, Trust, humor, excitement, enthusiastic determination, or some other
manifestation of Love, we will experience a Blissful reality. It’s just that simple.
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

M.Kathleen Casey
Simple does not necessarily mean easy. For our entire lives we have conditioned
ourselves to honor the mind above the Heart. Our fearful, negative way of reacting is a
deeply ingrained habit, and, like any habit, it will take time and effort to undo. The
undoing of fear is our life’s masterwork as spiritual beings in this human existence. The
Twelve Steps of Benestrophe are suggested as tools to help. They are all things that, in
and of themselves, make our lives fulfilling-things like patience, acceptance,
commitment, willing-ness, and honesty. Along the way, we will learn many methods
and techniques, such as Sacred Touch, massage, assisted stretches, conscious breathing,
forgiveness, and meditation that will sharpen these inner tools and keep them in good
working order. Like any major task we set before ourselves, eliminating fear-based
belief systems is much more daunting when thinking about it than when actually doing
it. And, like any other task, we accomplish it one step at a time.
The First Step is to recognize that fear is a choice-that we are, in fact, responsible for
our perceptions, even though we might not have consciously chosen them. This
recognition allows us to choose again, to choose differently, and, in so doing, to allow
Love back into our lives.
Every belief is a limit to be examined and transcended.

John C. Lilly
Stop right now and consider what your experience in this moment actually is. If you are
feeling happy and inspired by what you have just read, acknowledge that you have
chosen this reaction. You could choose instead to let your mind take you into the past or
future-could choose to be upset over the fight you had with your spouse this morning or
to be nervous about a visit to the dentist. It only seems as if reading this material makes
you happy. Nothing has the power to do that. You make yourself happy-by the choices
you make about what is real.
Make it a point to consider this Truth about your reality frequently. Whenever you think
of it, affirm that your experience of the moment is the result of a choice you made. Then
consider whether you like that choice.
Suffering is any reaction to Life that is less than Blissful. Life does not have to be a
bell-shaped curve with a bit of terrible agony at one end, a portion of extreme joy at the
other, and a whole lot of nothing special in between. Life can be wondrous, and will be
when we follow these simple instructions.
Know that fear is an illusion
When suffering surfaces-and it will-we take responsibility and look for the fear. It will
come in many guises-as anger, boredom, worry, sorrow, irritability, disappointment and
dissatisfaction. When we feel anything negative, we identify what it is we are afraid of.
We then look at what is actually happening in the moment.
The need for approval, the need to control things, and the need for
external power are needs that are based on fear. This kind of power is not
the power of pure potentiality, or the power of the Self, or real power.
When we experience the power of the Self, there is an absence of fear,
there is no compulsion to control, and no struggle for approval or external
power. Deepak Chopra
The moment, itself, is Perfect. In most cases, the actual sensations we experience in the
moment are quite pleasurable, or would be if we would place our focus on them instead
of on the rantings of the mind. We miss so much joy in the now by projections we make
over a future that has not yet arrived or the images we hold onto of a past long finished.
We can eliminate a lot of suffering by simply asking ourselves if the thing we are
suffering over is actually happening in the present moment or if it is a figment of our
imagination, a result of our minds being somewhere else.
Even if suffering seems to be happening right now-if you have a stomach ache or
someone has just bashed into your car-identify the fear and question it. Would the
suffering be so acute if we knew the pain was gas, not appendicitis, and would be gone
in ten minutes? No? Then, the suffering is not because of the stomach ache, but because
of our projections about the stomach ache. And if it is appendicitis, what then? We can
go have an adventure at the hospital where we will be fussed over and taken care of or
we can involve ourselves with the possibility of dying, with a bill we’ll have to deal
with down the road, or with everything that might not get done while we’re laid up. And
what about that car? It will get fixed. There’s nothing inherently painful about calling a
tow truck and the insurance company, and that’s what the moment actually holds for us.
The suffering comes from the fear that the car won’t be fixed right, that the upcoming
week might hold some inconvenience, or that if this awful thing could happen
something worse might happen tomorrow, because maybe we’re destined to have awful
lives. None of that is real.
That is why fear is an illusion. What we’re afraid of is never actually happening now.
Fear always comes from a negative interpretation or projection that assumes the worst.
In reality, Life holds very few moments of true suffering. Ninety-nine percent of our
misery is simply a matter of allowing the fearful imaginings of our minds to become our
reality. If we simply allow ourselves to let go of the mind’s projections and open our
Hearts to the moment, Bliss can persist even as we experience physical or emotional
pain. Only the moment is real. And, since fear, by definition, takes us out of the
moment, fear cannot be.
Embrace the Reality of Love
When we begin to deal with fear in a conscious manner, our suffering decreases and
Life becomes more enjoyable. We will face big problems in a more calm and realistic
manner and, if we are persistent with our First Step work, most of our suffering over
inconsequential trivialities will cease or be short-lived. When we use our suffering to
remind us that fear is an illusion, the suffering, itself, becomes something different.
Instead of being an experience of unmitigated negativity, suffering becomes the
reminder we need to become consciously aware that we are in a position to choose
Love!
Love is not mastered. It is allowed.
Emmanuel
There is one other thing we can do to help us allow more Love in our lives. In addition
to being aware of and responsible for the content of our minds, we can make a
conscious effort to live more fully from the Heart. We can begin to take more seriously
the point of view we are shown by what we call our peak experiences.
These experiences are precious gifts that at one time or another, have come to each of
us. They came in spite of the fact that our minds didn’t quite respect them and in spite
of the burden of fear and negativity we carried. We may have thought that some unusual
set of circumstances-a perfect sunset when we were alone on the beach with our lover, a
drug we ingested, or a day that turned out to match the high expectations we had for it-
was responsible. But such circumstances were merely catalysts that allowed the content
of our Hearts to shine through.
In my defenselessness, my safety lies. Defenselessness is strength. Defensiveness is

weakness. Defenses are the costliest of all prices the ego would exact. In them lies
madness in a form so grim that hope of sanity seems but to be an idle dream, beyond the
possible.
Although it is true that when fear leaves, Love is what remains, Love is more than just
the absence of consciously held fear. Love is a positive quality. It brings a lightness and
sense of expansion that makes Life, not merely pleasant, but delightful. While most of
our days may not be spent quaking in fear or writhing in agony, the fearful undercurrent
of our minds casts a constant shadow that leaves us in a preoccupied state that can only
be described as blah-a state where Life isn’t terrible, but it isn’t great either. It’s just
ordinary, routine, run of the mill, business as usual. But Bliss, not blah, is our birthright.
Bliss is how Life should be.
Those peak experiences are previews of the way Life can be most of the time. They
don’t require windswept beaches or LSD. They simply require the same care and
tending that we have given to our fearful perceptions. The way to begin is to stop
discounting them and start contemplating them. When we focus on the way we felt in
those most cherished moments, we invite those feelings into our present moment. So
don’t be afraid to embrace Love. It’s okay to have a soaring Heart while you’re doing
the marketing. It’s okay to feel real Love when you smile into someone’s eyes and tell
them to have a good day.
Living in Love does not mean that we need to be ungrounded and go around with goofy
grins on our faces. It doesn’t mean that we can’t still do our serious work and be taken
seriously for it. It simply means that all of Life can be truly joyful and exciting, full of
deep pleasure rather than just pleasant distraction. So, in addition to reminding yourself
that you create your reality and processing the fear and suffering that comes up for you,
make it a point to actively embrace Love. Allow yourself to feel high on Life, even
when there is nothing out of the ordinary going on. These two practices will clearly
demonstrate that when we stop putting so much effort into trying to be special and,
instead, open our Hearts to embrace the miracle of Wholeness and Love, Life, itself,
becomes special beyond our wildest dreams.
Benestrophe is being here now
This Step’s power comes when we remember Love at the very instant that fear arises.
What we yearn for is not out there in some distant future to be ours if only we work
hard and are very lucky. It is right here, right now. To make its Truth a reality for us, we
simply need to stand in another place, and that place is the present moment. Until we
embrace the present moment without qualification, until we release our need to be
special, let go of our desire to control the uncontrollable, and stem the raging self doubt
that drives us to crave approval in all its many guises, we remain caught in the pain of
separation.
Let us tune ourselves in such a way that we will never be a jarring note in
the cosmic harmony.
Swami Paramananda
Life is not about the big picture, not about those few occasions or accomplishments that
we set so much store by. Life is about the details. Many people attain many major goals
and still live their lives in quiet desperation because their moment-to-moment existence
is so miserable. To live happily is to fully live each moment in the awareness that we
are happy.
Sadly, our lives are much sweeter in retrospect than our days are as we live through
them. Even the times we remember as happy weren’t often experienced that way.
Happiness can only occur in the present moment; when fear governs our lives, joy is
more often a memory than an experience. But, when we enter the present moment, fear
is banished, and joy becomes our day-to-day reality.
Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. It boils down to upset over pictures we have in
our minds. Whenever we engage ourselves with these pictures, we are missing
something wonderful that is right in front of us. The way to take responsibility for our
fear is to bring ourselves, mind, Heart, and soul, into the present moment, where fear
becomes meaningless. One component of that moment we have no control over, for
events happen the way they happen. But the other, most important, component-the
quality of consciousness that we bring to the moment-is ours to choose. The more aware
we are in each moment, the more Love we allow into our lives.
TOPICS OF DISCUSSION
STEP ONE
We recognize that we have been allowing fear toblock our experience of Love.
Share about specific ways in which you have allowed fear toblock your experience of
Love.
Describe an instance when you were scared.
Which motivates you more-your desire for approval oryour desire for control?
Fear is a self-fulfilling prophesy. Tell about a time when you were so afraid of
something that your worst fear happened.
Tell about a time when you experienced fear as a result of being lost.
What values in our society tend to foster fear and negativity?
Share about a time when fear made you feel like hiding.
What are some beliefs that are holding you back from enjoying Life?
How has fear served as a wake up call to you?
Tell about a time when you felt powerless.
Talk about how your desire for control feeds into your experience of fear.
Tell about a situation in which your mind and your Heart perceived things differently.
Share about how your mind takes you out of the present moment.
What do you fear most about the future?
Coming from your own experience, how would you define fear.
Share about how taking the First Step has changed your life.
STEP TWO
We trust the miracle of Love, as

experienced through Sacred Touch, to
heal the pain of separation.
The perception of separation has put us in bondage to fear; and fear makes separation
seem absolutely real. Like the chicken and the egg, separation and fear form a never-
ending cycle in our lives. It does not occur to us that this cycle can be broken, and the
pain of separation becomes one more thing to fear. We convince ourselves that the
solution to our problems is to win approval and gain control. We pretend that accolades
and invitations, can fill us. But they never do. Even when their attainment brings us
pleasure, we still yearn for something more.
When we take Step One, we take the first step toward having something more.
Recognition of fear’s illusion is a beginning. It shifts our perception of fear from
something that is normal, natural, and unavoidable to something that is less solid, less
powerful, less real. Before we take Step One, fear is our automatic reaction; when our
expectations are frustrated, fear raises its ugly head; when any possibility of loss or
disappointment enters our consciousness, fear takes center stage. Before we take the
First Step, we do not consider that there is an alternative; the pain of separation seems to
be part of our human condition.
Step One opens our minds to the idea that we do have a choice about the fear in our
lives. But in order to exercise this choice, we must take further steps to heal the pain of
separation. Fear and separation are mirror images. So long as we perceive ourselves as
separate, we will be unable to see the illusory nature of all that is dark and fearful in our
lives. Separation is a creation of the mind. The pain of separation is a disease that is
leading us toward self- destruction.
Separation is illusion, but its pain is real
One of the primary functions of the mind is to create barriers. It does this through its
beliefs and through the labels and interpretations we place on our experience. Life
provides us with the raw materials, but it is we who sculpt those materials into
something we then experience as concrete and real.
If waters are placid, the moon will be mirrored perfectly.

Deng Ming-Dao
If it is 60 degrees outside and we live in the tropics, we say that it is cold; but if we live
in the extreme north, we experience that same temperature as warm. If circumstances
allow us to buy a six year old Chevy with no radio and we have been dependent on
taking the bus, we will be aglow with pleasure; but if we had to trade in our fully loaded
Mercedes, obtaining that same Chevy will be painful. If we undertake a fast and make it
through an entire week, we feel as though we have accomplished something; but if we
spend that same week eating rice and beans because we feel we cannot afford more, we
are miserable and deprived. Our experiences of cold, warm, pleasure, pain, success, and
failure are real to us; but, in truth, they arise from the meaning we have projected onto
the raw material of life.
In the same way, the mind defines our experience of separation. But, while we may feel
separate from those around us, from Nature, and from time and space, we are not. The
Truth about us is that we create ourselves from fragments of Life, some of which are
consciously adopted, some of which are unconsciously absorbed. We may take pride in
being who we are, but none of the elements of our ego-selves are exclusively and
innately ours.
We are clearly not the same people we would have been had we been born to different
parents, in a different culture, or at a different time in history. We draw from the larger
Whole surrounding us, creating a cocoon of separateness that we weave out of beliefs,
opinions, and styles. We then go on to label this cocoon I. The cocoon makes us feel
special, but it also makes us feel lonely, needy, and afraid.
Could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your
pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy.
Kahlil Gibran
It is the sense of separation, which increasingly defines our human experience, that is
painful. The difference now is when we feel that pain, we no longer need to seek escape
in distraction, addiction, or denial. Squarely facing the pain of our separation is what
gives us the motivation-is what empowers us-to go beyond all the trappings of approval
and control, to stop seeing Life as being fearfully out of control and to begin embracing
it as wonderfully uncontrollable.
Fear lives in the body as well as the mind
The fear that closes our Hearts and makes our minds race is but one aspect of fear’s
manifestation in our lives. Fear also has a physical aspect. Mind is not some amorphous
thing in our head. Every cell of our body has intelligence and memory. Because we are
Whole, the fear in our thoughts becomes lodged in our bodies, where it seems to take on
a life of its own. When we live for decades with anger, jealousy, ambition, or self-
hatred, these energies become a part of us in a very tangible way.
Our defensiveness is maintained through our posture and blood chemistry-and it

remains, even when cheerful images are the focus of our awareness at the moment. The
fear that resides in our bodies creates a contraction that affects our health, our sense of
well-being, and our ability to touch and be touched by other people and Life, itself.
Fear shows up in our faces as we age. It appears as scowl marks and turned down
mouths that make us look older and less attractive than we are. It becomes visible as
stooped shoulders, defensive body posture, excess pounds, or unhealthy thinness. It
manifests as aching muscles, migraine headaches, skin eruptions, and high blood
pressure. Fear plays a role in every chronic ailment to which humankind is subject.
Sometimes we have a positive experience of things only because our bodies are
absorbing the brunt of our fearful negativity; but making the pain of separation
unconscious does not diminish it. We can bury our negative feelings, but we bury them
alive.
When your stomach disputes you, lie down and pacify it with cool
thoughts.
Satchel Paige
Fear in our bodies makes us restless and tense. For some, it causes nervousness and
insomnia, while it leaves others sluggish and dull. Without our realizing it, the fear we
channel into our physical vehicles causes us to back off from Life, to live with caution
instead of exuberance, with compulsiveness instead of relaxed enjoyment. In order to
move beyond the pain of separation, we must work with our minds and emotions to
change our beliefs and perceptions; but we must also address the fear that resides in our
bodies-the fear that is so often disguised as something else.
Until we do this, the changes we attempt on the mental and emotional planes will be
frustrated. The link between body and mind is too intimate for it to be otherwise. We
cannot order our minds to relax and get results so long as our bodies are knotted up with
the fearful residue of our pasts. No matter how much we may want to, we cannot fully
embrace the moment when our physical selves are stressed out and tense. Nor can the
Love in our Hearts flow freely if we reactively pull back from the touch of other
humans. The way we respond to touch is a metaphor for the way we respond to Life. As
we learn to touch and be touched, we address the pain of separation, which feeds the
fearful reactions that cause us to create misery rather than joy from the raw material of
Life.
Sacred Touch is a vehicle for healing
Sacred Touch is a direct way to heal the pain of separation. Fear has built walls around
our Hearts, and our bodies represent the outermost boundaries. Instead of using our
bodies as they were intended to be used-as conduits through which to connect with Life-
we have turned them into barricades that keep others out of our separate space.
Of all the senses, only touch is required for survival, yet many adults in our culture are
squeamish about being touched by anyone who is not a spouse, lover, or same-sex
family member. Religion has proclaimed the body unclean and has pronounced its
pleasures dangerous, while the media has given us ridiculous standards of beauty. This,
combined with well-publicized cases of sexual harassment and sexual abuse, has made
touch deprivation a common condition in our modern society. Yet, touch is something
we all require. Touch is a fundamental and important vehicle for the transmission of
Love, and Love is something we humans must have.
Touch is food. Vital food.

Teane Juhan, Job’s Body
It is merely common sense, therefore, that we begin to break down the walls that isolate
us by reaching out to one another in the most concrete way possible-through the agency
of touch. But not just any touch. What is required is Sacred Touch. What makes Sacred
Touch different from ordinary touch is intention. Sacred Touch is not lustful-it has no
ulterior motives. Nor is it perfunctory. Sacred Touch involves acute awareness of both
the physical sensation and the more subtle flow of energy that touch transmits. We refer
to this Touch as Sacred, not because it has anything to do with religion, but because it
honors the true Self that resides behind the ego.
Sacred Touch is an art-something we gain mastery at through practice. As we bring

Sacred Touch more fully into our lives, we discover that it is a vehicle for healing the
pain of separation at many levels. Massage does wonders for us on the physical plane. It
releases stress and relieves many of the symptoms of fear that express as bodily
discomfort. Sacred Touch of all sorts soothes the emotional nature. The loving touch of
another can put us in touch with ourselves, allowing the release of frozen tears, the
softening of defensiveness, the calming of anxieties. Sacred Touch also brings
relaxation on the mental level by quieting the wild gyrations of the mind that keep the
cycle of fear and isolation so well oiled.
The miracle of Love is our hope
As body, mind, and emotions relax, the Heart opens and we are flooded with a sense of
spiritual well-being. Simply touching one another with Love seems a small thing, but its
effects are far-reaching. When we practice Sacred Touch, we are not simply releasing a
cramped muscle or letting go of stress, we are dismantling the wall of separateness that
keeps us locked into fear.
A hug is a perfect gift-one size fits all and nobody minds if you exchange it.
Ivern Ball
When we touch another human being with consciousness and the intention to transmit
and receive Love, we participate in a miracle. A miracle is anything that comes from
Love, anything that brings freedom from fear, anything that deepens our awareness of
Truth. Miracles allow us to transcend our normal, everyday perceptions of reality, and
yet they express through the creations of mundane existence. In the miracle of Love, as
experience through Sacred Touch, we use the body to transcend the body. When we
touch in a sacred manner, we connect spiritually. We share on a level that gives us a
sense of one another. We merge into Oneness.
At Benestrophe meetings, we have what we call hug-athons where each of us hugs

everyone else in the room. To an observer, all of the hugs look pretty much alike. But
what we experience as we move from hug to hug is unique with every encounter. As we
become adept at the art of Sacred Touch, it becomes clear whether the person we are
hugging is distracted or absolutely present with us; whether that person is joyful or sad;
whether they are in a primarily mental, emotional, or spiritual space.
In Touch, we stimulate the Self to manifest more fully. Through the practice of Sacred
Touch, we learn to spread joy rather than promote fear. As more and more of us learn to
touch Life in this manner, Life responds by bringing forth images of healing, rather than
images of pain. The long term result cannot help but be planetary healing; for when we
move to heal the pain of separation on the personal level, we ease that pain on the global
level.
Sacred Touch brings forth the healer within us
We have all read of people with the power to heal others through the simple act of the
laying on of hands. Such healings, clearly recognized as miracles, are generally thought
to involve some special talent or grace. The Truth about miracles is that they are not
special, but natural occurrences, which we can all expect with confidence. The Truth
about the power to heal with loving touch is that this power resides within everyone.
Our bodies are our gardens, to the which our wills are gardeners; so that if
we will plant nettles or sow lettuce, set hyssop and weed up thyme, supply
it with one gender of herbs or distract it with many, either to have it sterile
with idleness or manured with industry, why, the power and corrigible
authority of this lies in our wills.
William Shakespeare, Othello
All people are born with this healing power. The reason this has not been evident to us
is that the sense of separateness we use to define who we are gets in the way. Once we
learn to break down the walls of our sense of separation through the practice of Sacred
Touch, we free up our energy to flow with life-affirming power into those who receive
our touch.
We do not need to concern ourselves with whether we can be successful healers. It is

not we who accomplish the healing. Healing of the pain of separation is simply the
natural by-product when loving energy flows into a receptive Heart. We are merely
channels for this healing energy. The practice of Sacred Touch helps us to get our
fearful, arrogant ego-selves out of the way so Love can do its healing work.
The healing effect of Sacred Touch is cumulative. Occasionally, the healing

experienced in a bodywork session or from some other expression of Sacred Touch is
dramatic. More often, the healing is subtle-a release of something here or a shift in
something there-that, like a seed planted in the Spring, takes time to grow into a
recognizable effect. But we can rest assured that, visible or not, when Sacred Touch
occurs, healing is also present. It is not something we need to be self conscious about,
not something that we are responsible for-it is inherent in the process. Our responsibility
is simply to touch and be touched with openness of Heart and purity of intention. We
leave the outcome to Love.
Sacred Touch takes many forms
Sacred Touch is not about form, but about intention. Its vehicle can be a highly skilled
massage by a professional bodyworker or a hug from someone we have just met. It can
come through a hand consciously placed on a trouble spot or from a hand that
spontaneously reaches out to comfort. One co-creator of Benestrophe, a physician,
shared about how he would, in the course of listening to each patient’s heart, stop for
just a second, clear his mind, and offer himself as a channel for healing. The patients
never knew they were receiving something more than standard medical care; and the
doctor did not concern himself with whether this Sacred Touching effected a medical
cure.
The deprivation of body touch, contact, and movement are the basic
causes of a number of emotional disturbances which include depressive
and autistic behaviors, hyperactivity, sexual abberations, drug abuse,
violence, and aggression.
Dr. James Prescott
As we practice Sacred Touch, we learn much about the power of intention and the
subtle energies that flow among us. Practicing the physical aspects of Sacred Touch-
massaging one another, hugging, caressing a cheek, or placing a hand on a painful limb
teaches us to perceive and to transmit energy on a new level. But, as we become adept
at giving and receiving through the agency of touch, we learn that Sacred Touch does
not necessarily require physical contact. Proximity and loving intention are often
enough; and those who are very skilled can even transmit healing energy from a
distance.
The key is willingness to touch and be touched
The first thing that needs to be done when taking this Step is to confront any negative
conditioning we have regarding touch. For some of us, this is no problem; but, for many
of us, the pain of separation has resulted in strong notions about not liking to touch or
be touched. Regardless of how we label our disinclination, its true name is fear. The
willingness to go forward with this Step in spite of our fear is well worth the effort.
Many of those who were initially reluctant to engage in touch end up among the most
wildly enthusiastic proponents of Sacred Touch.
A sincere touch and a heartfelt embrace will make a believer out of

anyone.
Ronald B. Levy
What transforms ordinary touch into Sacred Touch is intention, and the intention here is
always to open oneself to healing. So we pay attention. When we hug someone, we
empty our minds of random thoughts the same way we do when we are meditating or
deeply listening, and we allow the essence of the moment to fill us. If we are in a group
that is doing a hug-a-thon we do not rush. Our minds are not concentrating on who we
will hug next. We keep our entire focus on the sensations and feelings of the moment.
If we are giving a massage, we focus on how the other person’s flesh feels beneath our
hands and on the subtle communication that touch affords us. We do not worry how our
skill compares with others, for Sacred Touch is not a performance. It is not so much our
knowledge of muscles and tendons that makes us skillful as our ability to come present
and be with another person in a loving way. We let our intention to be a channel for
healing take precedence. We can trust our intuition to move our hands to the appropriate
spots, to apply the appropriate pressure in the most appropriate manner. We can
increase the flow of healing energy by visualizing white light flowing from our touch,
or by seeing the energy blocks within the other person being permeated with Love and
melting away. On a subtle level, this is exactly what is happening. Likewise, when we
are receiving a massage, we quiet the mind and become as receptive as possible,
drinking in the pleasure of the experience. Such pleasure is good for us. It releases into
our bloodstreams a vast array of healing substances that strengthen our immune systems
and promote health. In addition to bringing us pleasurable sensations, bodywork
promotes the circulation of blood, restores alignment, relaxes muscles, stretches
connective tissues, and flushes out toxins. Sacred Touch also releases emotional toxins
that build up as painful memories become locked into our muscles. When we open fully
to Sacred Touch, we are opening to the direct power of Love.
The willingness to touch and be touched leads us to look for opportunities to practice
this wonderful art. The more willing we are, the more we incorporate touch into our
daily lives. We do this by hugging more often and more fully. We do it with back rubs,
foot rubs, scalp rubs, and facial massages shared with friends and family. We do it by
scheduling professional bodywork and by practicing Sacred Touch on ourselves.
Sacred Touch is here to have fun with
The purpose of Sacred Touch is to loosen the knots of fear in our bodies, quiet our
minds, and open our Hearts. It is a joyful experience, and we can do all sorts of things to
make it more powerful and effective. While a quickie back rub in the kitchen while
dinner is cooking can do wonders after a stressed out day, it’s nice to sometimes make
Sacred Touch the main event. By taking the time to create an atmosphere with candles
and incense, and, perhaps, obtaining some fragrant essential oil, the stage is set for an
encounter that can be truly magical.
Music is another very important element. Classical, soft soulful blues or jazz-anything
that puts you in an expansive and relaxed frame of mind-can greatly enhance the
experience of Sacred Touch. Music has a vibration that directly affects the nervous
system and adds much more than mere atmosphere. Sound works directly on both the
physical and the emotional bodies, and is, in itself, a vehicle for the transmission of
healing energies. When music accompanies our bodywork, the experience is enhanced.
As its name implies, Sacred Touch primarily utilizes the sense of touch, but, in fact,
each of the senses allow us to touch Life in a slightly different way. It is said that the
eyes are the windows to the soul, and eye contact can be an especially profound way to
communicate Love.
Another less direct way to express Sacred Touch is through dance. Not formal dance,
necessarily, but simply moving as the body and intuition direct. We can do this alone or
with others. When we are by ourselves and feel the need for Sacred Touch, we can give
our muscles a relaxing massage though stretching or dancing in a way that utilizes our
full range of motion. We only need to remember our intention as we do this process.
Dance is also an excellent way for a group of people to all participate in sharing Sacred
Touch together. When everyone gets into a loving space and resonates with the group
energy, the result is a sacred ballet, a celebration of Sacred Touch.
Because of past associations, touch feelings which are pleasurable are

often miscategorized. Such sensuousness is an appreciation-delight in
light, texture, color, sound, flavor; the continuous play of the senses.
Bernard Gunthor
What makes any of these activities sacred is the quality of awareness we bring to them.
In order for dance to become Sacred Touch we must do it with the intention to bond-to
merge into Oneness-and allow the free flow of healing energy. For eye contact to
become Sacred Touch, we look with the intention to share Love. When it comes to
Sacred Touch, focus upon our intention is everything. For this reason, it is
recommended that all forms of Sacred Touch involve a minimum of talking. We find
that when we stop relying so much on words to express ourselves, we learn to
communicate on a whole new level. The practice of Sacred Touch will demonstrate that
much can be said without anyone uttering a word.
Trust is a gift of Love we give to ourselves
It has been said that doubt is trust on the way. When confronted with a problem, an
inconvenience, or a frustration, we now have a method to shift our awareness from
doubt to trust. When negative, doubtful thoughts come into our minds, we can practice
Sacred Touch to reestablish our sense of centeredness.
We can ask for a hug or simply close our eyes and gently massage the back of our neck,
our temple, jaw, or wherever it may be that the energy of doubt is physically
manifesting. Much of our mental and emotional negativity is rooted in fears that are
buried in our bodies. If doubt is stubborn and we find that anxiety, discouragement, or
depression is getting the better of us, we can schedule bodywork and experience a new
lease on life instantaneously. Instead of being an affirmation of Life’s danger and
difficulty, our doubt can become a wake-up call that alerts us to the need to realign
ourselves with Love through reestablishing trust.
Once we stop depending on control as our only way to make things

happen, our lives miraculously open up.
James Redfield, The Celestine Prophecy
Trust is a priceless gift we receive whenever we disengage from fearful interpretations

of the appearances that confront us. Sacred Touch is a doorway into this miraculous
state. It takes us out of the mind and into the Heart. Our bodies are strong symbols of
our separateness, and it is very difficult, if not impossible, to experience Trust when we
are physically rigid. Sacred Touch relaxes our bodies and teaches us to let go of control
and enter Love’s timeless flow. By learning to open to the touch of another human
being, we automatically learn how to enter a state of Trust. Having learned this on the
massage table, we transfer this knowledge into other areas of our lives.
The experience of Sacred Touch demonstrates the healing nature of vulnerability. In this
experience the participants become open to one another on a profound level. Having
someone work on a sore muscle teaches us to relax, let go of defensive holding, and
simply enter into the sensation. Even intense sensations that contracting in fear would
cause us to experience as painful become extremely pleasurable when we approach
them with Trust. Sacred Touch teaches us that Trust is a miraculous elixir that can
transform any number of potentially painful experiences into experiences of enjoyment.
The lessons we learn from Sacred Touch about Trust are vastly more far-reaching than
one could imagine, because Sacred Touch shows us how to shift our focus from the
fearful rantings of the mind to the pleasurable experiences of the body. Everyone’s life
is filled with a lot of down time- time spent waiting for busses, trains, doctors, dentists,
and mechanics; time spent driving to and from work; time spent on mindless chores and
on personal hygiene. Before we learn the art of Sacred Touch, much of this time is often
filled with negative self-talk, worry, or impatience-mental states that promote doubt,
fear, and pessimism. After practicing Sacred Touch for a while, we realize that by
shifting our focus from mind to body, these experiences can be filled with any number
of delightful sensations. Thus, we spend more time each day feeling positive, enjoying
Life, and having fun. We become more positive people. We learn that a positive state of
being is a trusting one.
Sacred Touch teaches us to be optimistic
Sacred Touch does wonders for our ability to live life in a state of Trust. Learning to
trust Life in this moment naturally leads to learning to trust Life in other moments. The
Trust we experience in the present creates a sense of optimism about the future. This is
not merely a matter of denying difficulties and burying doubts-it is a process of learning
to keep our focus on all the beautiful, pleasurable, wonderful things that are always
present. Remember, Life supplies the raw materials, but we create the experience.
Whether that experience is positive or negative comes down to whether we choose to
suffer the pain of separation or embrace the joy of Love.
What determines how much joy or pain Life will hold for us is our attitude. There will
always be things that we can grouse about, circumstances we can judge and that we can
use to justify anger, self-pity, or concern. But it is equally true that there are always
things we can delight in. There is nothing we encounter in this life that does not hold
some sort of gift. Our job is to seek out that gift. Anger or compassion, self-pity or self-
affirmation, concern or Trust-these are the choices we must make regardless of the
situations we face. Nothing in Life is truly negative. Negativity is always a choice.
Whoever takes delight in his task is an optimist.

Sister Devamata
Sacred Touch provides us with something concrete to support ourselves in choosing to

experience Life as a wonderful adventure. It provides us with an instant attitude
adjustment, and attitude is the essence of any experience. The proof is in the practice.
When we learn that Life is not an adversary we need to control, and we begin to live
with a positive, trusting, optimistic attitude, we experience Life in a whole new way.
Attitude effects outcome. The attitude with which we play the cards we are dealt has a
definite impact on the next deal. Fear is a self-fulfilling prophesy; but so is Love. When
we learn to live optimistically, the optimism we express in the present attracts future
circumstances that affirm the wisdom of living optimistically. Optimism is its own
reward.
Trust and honesty go hand in hand
As we have seen, the practice of Sacred Touch goes far beyond simply coming into
physical contact with one another in a loving way. It promotes healing, not just of our
bodies, but of our attitudes. It increases our receptivity, making us more sensitive to
what is happening in our relationships and in our own bodies. It enhances our intuition,
which, in turn, guides us to more appropriate action in all arenas of Life. And, it
conditions us to live in a relaxed, open manner, to attune ourselves to the potential for
pleasure in each situation and to optimistically count on a pleasurable future.
Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.
Thomas Jeffersond
The means it uses to accomplish all this is the stimulation of Trust. When we learn to
trust in the miracle of Sacred Touch, Trust brings the miracle of Love into our lives.
The flip side of trusting is being trustworthy. Dishonesty is always an expression of
fear, a response to the pain of separation. As the art of Sacred Touch opens our Hearts
to Trust, we no longer feel such a need to hide behind masks of deceit or to manipulate
and finagle. Sacred Touch allows us to share contact at a level that makes visible the
vulnerability that we all share as part of our human condition. Such loving contact
diminishes any impulses we may have had to cheat, take advantage, or in any other way
be dishonest. We see clearly how it was our fear that led us into dishonesty and see also
how our own dishonesty eroded our Trust in Life and fed back into the cycle of
separation and fear.
As we address the pain of separation, we come to see that we are not, in fact, separate.
The cocoons we have woven are indeed unique. But beneath the identity of ego, we
each have a sacred Self that is doing its best to cope with the human condition.
Recognizing our Oneness makes us want, not only to experience for ourselves as much
joy as possible, but to want that same joy for everyone. Trust and honesty, like two
sides of a coin, become the currency with which we begin to buy back the Unity,
Freedom, and Bliss that is our birthright as inhabitants of this planet. Trust and honesty
go hand in hand.
The frequent practice of Sacred Touch brings a new level of consciousness into our
lives. We begin by touching one another with purity of intention and the willingness to
heal. But, ultimately, we find that we touch everything with more awareness and that we
begin to live less in the mental realms of past and future and more in the immediate
present.
We feel more fully the texture of our clothing against our bodies; the warmth, coldness,
smoothness, or crunchiness of our food; the comfort of our favorite chair. We become
aware of the pleasurable sensations available in simple things that were formerly taken
for granted- how good the steering wheel of the car feels in our hands, how truly
wonderful it feels to blow our noses or scratch our heads. Attuning ourselves through
Sacred Touch shows us the essence of what it means to be here now, for when we are
focussed upon the sensations of the moment, we cannot be anyplace but in the Eternal
Present.
When we use sensation not to escape Life, but to embrace it more fully, we discover the
true purpose of our sentient nature. When we come present with something through any
of our senses, we discover Love. We cannot have a true experience of anything, so long
as we are comparing, contrasting, or judging. Since what we experience in Sacred
Touch cannot really be described in words and never more than approximates any label
we might place on it, we learn to go beyond our labels and search for what truly is there.
Underlying the infinite diversity of life is the unity of one all-pervasive
Spirit.
Deepak Chopra
Some of us found the First Step difficult because it required we take responsibility for
the fear in our lives. That reluctance is understandable because taking only one step
leaves us in a precarious position, standing on one foot. But two steps! Ah, that is
movement! Just so, taking the Second Step brings any hesitation we had about the First
to a joyful resolution. Taking responsibility for fear is not a dismal exercise in mental
discipline. It is an exciting foray into the joys of the present moment.
As you finish reading this chapter, stop for a moment right now and massage your face.
With just the amount of pressure that feels exquisite make little circles on your temples,
then smooth the skin across your cheekbones, then along your jaw from your chin. Let
the Love in your touch flow back into your body affirming the goodness of you and the
goodness of Life. If there is someone in the room with you, get up and give them a hug.
The pain of separation has no place in your life. Benestrophe is being here now!
STEP TWO
Suggested group and personal

questions for discussion and review.
Sacred Touch is touch without lust. Give an example in which Sacred Touch had a
positive impact on your health and well-being.
Share about an experience of listening to your body’s wisdom.
What is the most profound experience you have had with bodywork?
How does the way you respond to Sacred Touch serve as a metaphor for the way you
respond to Life?
Tell about times when you felt the need to be touched.
Share an experience in which you felt the pain of separation.
How might you help others to lessen their pain of separation?
We practice the art of Sacred Touch to heal the pain of separation. Describe a specific
experience you’ve had with Sacred
Touch. How did that experience heal your pain.

Describe your relationship with a person you trust.
How is your life different now as a result of Trust?
Share an experience that demonstrates the relationship between mind and body.
Doubt is Trust on the way. Give an example in which your consciousness shifted from
doubt to Trust.
Describe an event in your life in which blind trust saved the day.
Tell about a time you recovered from an illness. What role did your attitude play in the
healing process?
What comes to mind as an incident in your life when you needed to trust someone?
Tell about an event that helped build your confidence.
Coming from your own experience, how would you define miracle?
Share about how taking the Second Step has changed your life.
STEP THREE
Surrendering to the mystery of Life, we

commit our will and our lives to the
intuitive wisdom of the Heart.
The first three steps of Benestrophe point us in the right direction. They form the basis
of our spiritual dance. By recognizing fear as something we allow rather than something
over which we have no control, we set the stage for empowerment. By learning to use
Sacred Touch to open the Heart and come into the moment, we begin to heal the pain of
separation. We become more trusting and more optimistic. We begin to attune ourselves
to the subtleties of feelings and energies that constantly flow among all living things. In
the Third Step, we take what we have learned in the first two and synthesize that
understanding into the experience of surrender. When we recognize that Life is a
mystery and commit our will and our lives to the intuitive wisdom of the Heart, we
bring ourselves into harmony with our surroundings. We stop struggling and start to
know Unity, Freedom, and Bliss.
Life is a profound mystery
We do not understand Life. Neither do the priests, the scientists, nor the writers of
scholarly texts. We all have theories about why things happen, and we use these
theories to shield ourselves from facing the mystery, but the mystery remains. No matter
how much we learn about Life, its essence is forever ungraspable. The questions we can
answer are insignificant compared to the ones we cannot. Where were we before we
were born? What happens after we die? Why did the speck of consciousness we refer to
as --I-- manifest at the time and in the circumstances it did? Why is there so much
suffering in the world? Such questions have captured the human imagination since the
beginning of time, but there are no hard and fast answers.
“The highest flight of human wisdom is to know that we cannot know.”

Goethe
Life’s purpose unfolds in mysterious ways. Routinely, what the mind terms positive has
less than positive ramifications; and what the mind terms negative often leads to
unforeseen blessings. You can finally afford the snazzy new car, and that seems a
positive thing. But, because you have the car, you decide to take a road trip that ends in
an accident, and that seems a negative thing. While you are in the hospital, you might
meet someone who totally changes your life-someone you would not have met had you
not had the accident. So what seemed a terrible tragedy in one moment turns out, in
another, to be the best thing that could have happened to you.
Our lives evolve though billions and billions of small miracles of perfect timing. Every
decision, no matter how inconsequential, changes our lives forever. Everyone who is in
our lives is there because of countless numbers of mutually compatible choices that
brought us together at the right time. We all make dozens of such choices daily- to take
the early bus or the later one, to shop here or there, to speak to the stranger or not. Every
choice effects the story line of our lives-and of countless other lives, as well.
The flow of life goes on and on, and we have no idea where the moment will take us.
Each instant contains infinite possibilities. We can try to control things, but since we do
not know where anything will lead, control is pointless. What a price we pay for this
constant need to maintain the illusion. So much suffering stems from the simple fact of
our denying the mystery of our existence. Instead of appreciating what is and
approaching Life with Trust, we spend our time complaining, judging, and getting
stressed out when things do not go the way we want. How much more sensible to honor
the mystery, trust in the moment, and let the Heart’s intuitive wisdom guide our dance.
Surrender is an embracing of Life
In material terms, surrender means capitulation, declaring ourselves the loser before we
are mowed down by some superior power. In spiritual terms, it means something much
different. It means freedom from the beliefs and judgments that are so seductive to the
mind. It means Trust in the ever-changing flow of Life. Just as the tiny dead-looking
husk hides the glory of the daffodil, pumpkin, or oak, beliefs about who we are and how
Life should be often hide the magnificence of our human experience.
Such beliefs create resistance. As long as we try to control Life, fear is in charge. Our
attachments to positive expectations open us to disappointment, while our attachments
to negative ones cause us to experience pain. When we surrender our expectations and
embrace Life as a mystery, resistance fades, and each moment becomes something
precious. Instead of worrying about our ideas of what Life is, we are able to touch Life
directly.
Control would make sense only if we knew what the outcome should be. Instead, we
can save ourselves a lot of headaches by trusting that whatever outcome we get is the
right one. With surrender, all the pain caused by futile efforts to stay in control vanishes
from our lives. Things turn out the way we anticipate? Wow! Things turn out
differently? Wow! It doesn’t matter. Surrender allows us to be at peace in either case.
“One does not have to stand against the gale. One yields and becomes
part of the wind.”
Emmanuel
When we finally face the fact that Life is, indeed, a mystery, surrender becomes the
only logical choice. Admitting that we cannot know where our choices will ultimately
lead means we can relax and enjoy each moment as fresh, new, and full of promise.
Such a stance brings us fully into Love’s embrace.
Life is Perfect
Surrender springs forth from an attitude that acknowledges all of Life as Perfect just the
way it is. This perception of all as equally Perfect is the essence of unconditional Love.
In order for this to be comprehensible, we need to distinguish between ego’s definition
of perfect as something that cannot be improved upon and the deeper implications of
Perfection as a purposeful expression of Love’s manifestation through whatever
conditions present themselves. Such a notion is challenging, because it entails
acknowledging that even moments containing things like fear and anger are part of this
greater Perfection. The mind has difficulty comprehending Perfection in the often
painful elements that make Up our current reality. And that is also Perfect. Spirituality
is full of apparent contradictions, and that’s just what is needed to get us out of our
heads and into our Hearts.
Acknowledging the Perfection of a current reality that includes such things as famines,
wars, and ecological disasters does not mean we think these things are fine. When we
say that the moment is Perfect, we are not saying that something is either good or bad,
but simply that it is, and because it is, it has purpose.
“No snowflake falls in an inappropriate place.”

Zen saying
The Perfection of a situation may reside in our changing it or in the qualities we develop
by putting up with it. Sometimes the purpose of an event may be to get us from point -
A- to point -B- so we can make a needed connection. Sometimes it may be to test our
resolve, to teach us compassion, patience, or discipline. Sometimes the drama we
participate in may be for the benefit of another. We never know if the significance lies
in where we end up or what we learn and give along the way. Since we cannot know,
the only thing that makes sense is to trust in the perfect unfolding of the mystery.
To live is to act
The Twelve Steps of Benestrophe encourage us to see Life as a dance, to express

ourselves joyfully with openheartedness and Truth. But, to live in a state of surrender in
no way implies passivity. Life’s Perfection is dynamic, encompassing the actor, the
action, and the thing being acted upon. That a broken leg can be seen as an expression
of Life’s Perfect unfoldment does not mean that the bone should not be set or that the
obstacle tripped over should not be removed. Action is part of Life and cannot be
avoided, for to refrain from action is also an action.
When fear and judgment are the focus, our actions often become means to an end. We
work to earn money or gain status; we help others to be thought well of or to feel good
about ourselves; we create to be appreciated or to impress. Such action is always subject
to a judgment of whether the payoff is what we hoped for, and when it isn’t, we suffer.
“Seek without expecting.”

Ray Grigg, The Tao of Relationships
What we surrender in Step Three is not the action, but the suffering. There is a principle
of action that in Eastern traditions is known as dharma or the Tao. Western traditions
allude to it as righteousness. Carlos Castenada’s mentor, Don Juan, called it
impeccability; and we in Benestrophe refer to it simply as being good and enjoying Life.
All these terms imply the same thing-action that is both loving and appropriate to the
moment with no attachment to results. The mind supports ego and has its own agenda. It
does not lead us to act with righteousness, impeccability, or in the way of the Tao. In
order to be good in the sense co-creators of Benestrophe use the term, we must act from
the Heart.
The Heart knows the way
When we act from the Heart, we act from the perspective of Wholeness, and such action
is, by definition, loving. It is the mind that takes us into past or future where Love
cannot be found. The Heart always exists in the present moment. When we surrender to
the mystery of Life, we set the mind’s fears aside. When painful emotions arise, we
open to them, process them, and use them to go deeper into the mystery. But they no
longer rule our lives When the practices of Steps One and Two quiet the voice of fear
within us, the intuitive wisdom of the Heart becomes audible. Whereas the mind shouts,
commanding our attention and taking us out of the moment, the voice of intuitive
wisdom is subtle. To hear it we must let go of our cravings, expectations, judgments,
and opinions. The trick lies in learning to distinguish intuitive wisdom from fear and
desire. To recognize this voice, we must deeply listen
“When a thing is easily presented to you, and it sounds wonderful to do

and a great deal of fun, by all means do it. This is guidance. Let yourself
flow free with the dance of your life.”
Barbara Ann Brennan, Hands of Light
Often intuitive wisdom is actually heard as words in the mind, but it can also express as
a fleeting hunch or impulse The problem is, a mind caught up in its own projections
often ignores these messages which might not fit with preconceived notions. If those
around us seem to see something in a certain way, it’s easy to ignore the still, quiet
voice that indicates it may be different for us. Likewise, if the mind is attached to
having something, it takes courage to hear the inner prompting that tells us to back off,
to wait and see.
The Heart is Whole. When acting from the Heart, there are no whys or wherefores. We
do not need to justify, explain, or even understand where it leads us. We can simply
trust it and wait for confirmation. When we live from the Heart’s intuitive wisdom, we
don’t love people because they are good to us and make us feel special, nor do we do
things because of the consequences we imagine will result. We love because we love
and we do things simply because we do them-because in the moment, they seem the
right thing to do.
Mistakes are our teachers
When working the Third Step of Benestrophe, one of the most important fears we have
to deal with is the fear of making a mistake. Such fear is guaranteed to block the Heart’s
intuitive wisdom, for it is always looking ahead, always worrying about what if. What
if I give it away and need it later? What if I get it and then something happens so I
can’t pay for it? What if I try and don’t succeed? What if I guess what the best
course of action is and I guess wrong?
One thing we learn by working the Twelve Steps is that there is no such thing as a
mistake. The very concept of mistake is rooted in fear and is, therefore, illusion. Any
time something doesn’t work out the way the mind projects it should, that thing gets
labeled a mistake. The way to stop making mistakes is to stop judging ourselves as
having made them and embrace the consequences of our action as part of Life’s
unfoldment. Remember, even what we term mistakes are part of the overall Perfection
of the moment.
We do not really know what anything means because we do not know it’s ultimate
purpose. Everything we do changes the entire course of our lives from that point on, and
we have no way of knowing how things would have been had we not done precisely
what we did do. Trying to second guess Life is painful and unnecessary, and it never
works.
Let’s say you are busy cleaning the house and on an impulse decide to go to the store.
You get there, don’t find anything interesting, and while you were gone you miss a call
from a friend inviting you out for a pleasant afternoon. The mind will tell you that you
made a mistake. But did you? Who is to say that the afternoon would have turned out
the way your disappointment imagines? Perhaps you would have caught your friend’s
cold, had a fender bender, or gotten into an argument. Perhaps you would have missed
another call, twisted your ankle, or lost out on an insight that came because of the
afternoon alone.
Mistake is a figment of imagination. Whatever happens is part of Life’s perfect

unfoldment. Sometimes the mistake is purely a creation of our mind’s expectations. At
other times, like when we cut a board too short, say something we wish we hadn’t, act
on a false assumption, or do not pay attention, the mistake teaches us something that
will serve us in the future. Whenever you are tempted to label anything a mistake, you
should, instead, look for the gift of wisdom it can provide. When we become willing to
let go of the emotional baggage that accompanies the notion of mistake, we can see
things more clearly. Usually mistakes come from a failure to hear and heed intuitive
wisdom. The mind’s fears and expectations often cause us to ignore the voice of our
deeper knowing; yet, this voice is always present and able to guide us. When we release
defensiveness and honestly examine our state of mind prior to having made what
appears to be a mistake, we almost always find there was an ignored signal from
somewhere deep within. Just as we can use the experience of suffering as an
opportunity to choose Love, we can use the experience of making a mistake as an
opportunity to surrender to Life.
We commit our will and our lives
Initially, it takes a fair amount of courage to stay attuned to the voice of intuitive
wisdom because what it tells us often seems to contradict the logical perceptions of the
mind. The world we live in is a mind-dominated world-a world where ends are seen to
justify means and where perceptions are subject to all sorts of influences. All of our
lives we have been groomed to perceive things in certain ways, and popular culture
provides tremendous support for a fear-based view of reality. We all have many
unconsidered beliefs and opinions that we have picked up from our parents, peer group,
or the media and which do not represent our personal truth. In Step Three we begin the
task of weeding through this conditioning so as to access the dynamically creative
perspective of our intuitive wisdom. When we stop resisting Life, something deep
within us opens. We respond to everything in new and loving ways. Things that
formerly scared us-vulnerability, hurt, anger, the emotional realities that arise between
men and women-become waters we can easily navigate. Acceptance of Life and
acceptance of Self are the same thing. As we become comfortable in ourselves, we
become comfortable in Life, whatever it may bring.
“Who am I To deny That, maybe, God is me.

Piet Hem
Living our lives guided by the Heart’s intuitive wisdom is perhaps the most worthwhile
goal we can have; but like any meaningful goal, it requires commitment. Commitment
is purity of intention, clearly defined and persistently applied. It is an expression of
integrity, an all or nothing affair. It begins with a promise we make to ourselves. When
we hold this promise as sacred-reestablishing our focus when we slip into forgetfulness,
forgiving ourselves when we fall short, refusing to be put off by appearances or
setbacks, reaching out for help or touch when we need it-our determination bears fruit.
Committing our will and our lives to the intuitive wisdom of the Heart entails the
discipline to go inward and be truthful about what is so for us. It entails facing our fears
and working through them. It entails having the courage to follow where Love leads
even when the mind wants to lead us somewhere else.
“The moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too.
All sorts of things occur that would never otherwise have occurred. A
whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all
manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance,
which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. Whatever you
can do or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and
magic in it.”
Goethe
The ego often sees commitment as a sacrificing of freedom and fails to comprehend that
when Heart and mind are aligned in pursuit of vision, Life supports us in ways that are
unforeseeable. The power of focused attention is as mysterious as Life itself. The simple
act of committing ourselves wholly to seeking the Heart’s truth is a powerful catalyst
that transforms our lives.
The Steps provide us with invaluable tools that are always there at our disposal. By
committing to use these tools whenever fear arises, we open the way for surrender to
happen naturally.
Judgment is a blind alley
Alack of surrender is always signaled by judgment. Whenever we enter the dual world
of positive and negative, we deny the Perfection inherent in the mystery of Life. By
labeling certain experiences with terms like mistake or failure, we set ourselves up to
suffer. Limiting our notion of positive to include only that which supports our special-
ness also sets us up to suffer. These positive experiences not only become a standard by
which other experiences are measured, but all such gains carry within them the inherent
risk of loss.
In addition, the voice of judgment is so loud it drowns out the voice of intuitive
wisdom. The mind is very involved in its judgments, and it slants our perceptions in
favor of what it has deemed to be so. One of the most predominant features of ego is its
overwhelming need to be right. Oddly, this need is even stronger than the need to be
happy. Therefore, when our mind decides that we are lacking in worth, talent, or luck, it
will go to great lengths to discount any evidence to the contrary. Once we have decided
that we are idiots, that the task before us is impossible, or that the day is ruined, ego’s
pride makes it hard to consider anything that may prove our judgment wrong. Judgment
is a prison that locks us into the experience of pain and suffering. We may begin by
simply judging circumstances or other people, but we always end up in a cycle of
judging ourselves.
“You cannot know your own perfection until you have honored all those
who were created like you.”
One of the problems with judgment is that we mistake it for Truth-we think that our
judgments reflect something about Life, when, actually, they reflect nothing more than
the fact that we are choosing to stand in a place of very limited vision. When we judge,
we take an infinitesimal slice of time and, through the mind’s power of interpretation,
lock our momentary experience into an ongoing reality. We stop looking for
possibilities and stop interacting creatively with the moment. The judgments in which
we invest in this moment block our perception of Truth in the next.
The work of the Third Step involves learning to recognize judgment as it arises. This
does not mean we deny our perception that something is unsafe, unwholesome, or
untrustworthy; it simply means owning these perceptions as our own momentary
experience. It is the difference between declaring that someone is difficult and admitting
that they are challenging to us. It is the difference between pronouncing that a particular
thing is ugly and admitting that we are unable, in this moment, to perceive its inherent
beauty; the difference between saying we have failed and acknowledging an outcome
was not what we had hoped it would be. There is great power in simply recognizing that
something is a judgment, for such a recognition allows us the Freedom to consult the
Heart’s intuitive wisdom and respond lovingly, compassionately, and creatively.
The adventure beckons us
Happiness arises from acceptance. There are many times during the course of the day
when we perceive imperfection. When the car won’t start, when our child comes home
from school with a reprimand, or when the hoped for deal or invitation does not come
through, the tendency is to get extremely upset, to condemn ourselves or someone else.
Yet, each of these experiences and others like them are opportunities for inner growth.
The Truth of the matter is a negative reaction does nothing to improve a situation. No
amount of blaming will convince the car to start, but it will raise our blood pressure,
cloud our judgment, and leave us feeling drained and foolish. Anger will not make our
children more well-behaved or enhance their belief in their abilities, but it can
undermine their Trust in us and lower their self-esteem. Disappointment over what did
not happen only serves to rob us of the joy that can be found in this moment.
“To know that you do not know is the best. To pretend to know when you
do not know is a disease.
Lao Tzu
Life is full of situations that can provide the mind with rationalizations for suffering.
Our job is to turn them into exciting challenges. Judgment only serves to justify our
misery; an attitude of equanimity and trust allows us to see all of Life as an adventure.
When the mind leads the way, difficulties cause us to feel heartsick, heartbroken, and
disheartened; but when the Heart leads the way, the mind begins to occupy itself with
seeking out the joy in all situations. Remember, the mind is a terrible master, but a
wonderful servant. It is only our conditioned beliefs that tell us rage, self-pity, and stress
are natural responses to certain situations. All of our lives we have seen people reacting
in such ways, so it might not have occurred to us that such reactions represent choices.
In the material arena, the mind often jumps at a challenge, and when something comes
too easily, we get bored. The goal here is to approach the challenges of our inner lives
with the same commitment and enthusiasm that propel us to meet challenges in our
creative, professional, or romantic lives-as exciting opportunities to go up against our
conditioned reactions and recreate ourselves anew.
We need not fear depression, anger, judgment, or hurt. These are not terrible disasters,
but doorways that can lead us deeper into the mystery of the Heart. All such feelings are
mountains to be climbed. All hold gifts. Our daily routine is but adventure in disguise,
boredom the result of refusing the challenge. When we allow Life to become a grand
adventure, we awaken to the profound Bliss to be found in every moment.
Say yes to Life!
By taking the Third Step, we become joyfully humble. By acknowledging judgment as a

subjective reaction, we free ourselves to keep looking for Truth. When we allow
curiosity to replace fear, we stop resisting and start exploring. As we start to accept Life
as a mystery, the prideful arrogance of the mind, which thinks it knows, is replaced by
the loving openness of the Heart, which does not need to know.
“As we acquire more knowledge, things do not become more

comprehensible, but more mysterious.”
The action of Step Three is saying yes to Life. When fear or the desire to control arises,
see it for what it is and move beyond it. Remind yourself that Life is a mystery, that you
do not know the purpose in the situation that confronts you, nor do you know where it
will lead. When you enter into judgment, admit it, process it, and learn from it. Commit
fully to using all of the techniques presented in these steps. Trust in the Perfection of the
moment, and listen for the voice of intuitive wisdom. When taking action, focus on your
intention and leave the results in Life’s hands.
Spend some time each day in meditation. Nurture the intuitive side of your nature by
listening deeply and honestly to yourself. Forget what you should think and feel. Trust
what is actually there. You will be amazed at how many of your preferences,
assumptions, and opinions have been adopted by the mind, soaked up from the culture,
and accepted without question as your own. Do not hesitate to change what no longer
fits. Courageously sort through all the perspectives. Listen for the rhythm of your own
unique drum and joyfully march to its beat.
“When you realize that the God who created you is the Power that lives
within you... You become limitless.”
Anna Cook
With practice a new self emerges
By taking these Steps we shift our inner state from self- absorption to Self-awareness.
Self-awareness is different from the self-consciousness we have regarding ego’s state.
When we are self-conscious, we are focused on separateness. How others see us,
whether what’s happening affirms or denies who we think we are, and whether we are
good enough become major concerns that take us out of the moment. Self-awareness, on
the other hand, allows for a free and unencumbered interaction with Life. We have all
lived our lives striving to control the uncontrollable. We have elevated ego with its
desires, opinions, and insecurities to center stage. States of mind, such as craving and
anxiety, have been normal for us. They are familiar ways of dealing with Life, and even
though they are not pleasant, they represent a comfort zone.
Surrender is not something we do once and for all, but something we do over and over,
moment by moment. Relapse is not to be feared. It can be an important part of recovery.
“Even greater miracles than these, ye shall do also.”

Jesus
The first Three Steps of Benestrophe contain all you need to know in order to shift your
direction from limitation to enlightenment. The steps that follow offer tools to assist in
deepening your experience of the principles expressed in these first three. The
commitment to use these techniques is all that is required to know Wholeness.
The Third Step represents a beautiful process, a process of accepting the intuitive
wisdom of the Heart. In this process we graduate into the realm of grace and intuition.
Whenever we fully enter the present moment, we experience a state of grace. This
Twelve-Step process has been designed to help us enter that state more frequently and
to remain there for longer periods of time. Every choice we make impacts the Whole.
The mind cannot comprehend the mystery of Life, but when we surrender to it and live
each moment fully, we become points of Light in a world seeking its way through
darkness. The universe is alive with purpose, and we are a part of it. To know this, all
we need to do is trade our belief in limitation for the experience of the Perfection of the
moment.
Topics of Discussion
STEP THREE
Surrendering to the mystery of Life, we commit our will and our lives to the intuitive
wisdom of the Heart.
Tell a story that you feel illustrates Life is a mystery.
Tell about a turning point in your life.
Tell about a time when you experienced the intuitive wisdom of the Heart.
Share about a situation that you initially saw as negative and later came to see as
Perfection.
Share one of the most wonderful ideas you have ever had.
Describe a movie you enjoyed that illustrates the mysterious nature of Life.
The mind sees separation and fear while the Heart knows Wholeness and Love. Share
about an instance when you were guided by the knowledge of the Heart. What did you
learn from that experience?
Share an instance when you experienced a Power greater than yourself.
Share something revealing you’ve learned about yourself.
Share a situation in your life when you chose to surrender. What did you learn from that
experience?
A judgment reflects the attitude of the person making the judgment. Share a judgment
you hold.
What has turned out to be a meaningful commitment in your life?
Share about a situation where surrender led to serenity.
How might you allow intuition to play an important role in your life? In what ways
would you expect to see positive effects?
The Declaration of Interdependence focuses on accepting what we cannot change,

changing what we can, and having the wisdom to know the difference. Talk about an
experience you’ve had that illustrates one of these elements.
How do you define persistence? Share an experience that demonstrates the effectiveness
of persistence.
Have you ever chosen to break a commitment? If so, what did you learn from that
experience?
The creative process begins with choice. Share about a choice you made that had
positive results.
Tell about something you feel in your Heart.
Tell about something mysterious that has influenced your life.
Coming from your own experience, how would you define surrender?
Share about how taking the Third Step has changed your life.
STEP FOUR
We make a searching and courageous
inventory of ourselves.
To live in the moment requires healing our memories. Until we become willing to shine
the Light of Love into every corner of our being, we remain hostage to our history.
Baggage we carry from the past plays an important role in shaping the way we
experience the present. What we reject in ourselves resurfaces again and again in many
different guises. Until we have a firm foundation of Self- Love, we are not able to truly
love others or gain the peace that comes with surrender. As long as we believe we are
unworthy, we continue to hurt and be hurt.
The unexamined life is not worth living.

Socrates
As much as we might like to forget our mistakes, they cannot be buried. Energy locked
in unaccepted shame and guilt manifests as doubt, greed, turmoil, frustration, and
grandiosity. This energy creates a strong resonance, attracting that which is like itself
and bringing suffering to ourselves and those around us. Until we change our beliefs,
old patterns continue to play themselves out, even in new situations
The price of Freedom is rigorous honesty
Engaging in thoughts or actions that violate our values is tantamount to doing violence
to ourselves. Unloving actions taken to satisfy selfish desires do not align with our
Heart and what we know to be honorable. Typically, we handle this inconsistency by
blocking our awareness of the Heart, by burying our true feelings. We end up numb,
lacking in intensity, devoid of any true feeling. Only by increasing our awareness of
who we are do we find our way out of this guilt-ridden consciousness. We must get in
touch with our feelings if we want to find our way out of the web of suffering we have
created for ourselves.
He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened.

Lao Tzu
The parts of ourselves we cannot acknowledge, we see in others and perceive as

threatening. When we are not true to our Self, we cannot trust the caring that comes our
way, for we feel such caring is based on an image we only wish were so. Until our
relationships are based on honesty, our need for approval undermines our ability to
know Love. As long as our actions are based on fear, we do not find peace.
Denial of that which is painful keeps us in bondage to that from which we yearn to be
free. Our falseness is as hard to acknowledge as the shameful secrets we conceal. The
discrepancy between our sense of Self as a being with purpose whose essence is Love is
difficult to reconcile with the knowledge of the hurt we have caused. When we
remember our selfishness and insensitivity, we feel uncomfortable. Current situations
replay events we find painful to remember.
Punishment is about vengeance, not about Love
The fear that we are unworthy leads to the belief that wrongs can only be righted
through punishment. Under fear’s influence, loneliness mushrooms into abandonment.
Setbacks bring forth anger and depression. We sabotage our success, torment ourselves
with abusive thoughts, or enter into unhealthy relationships where others become the
vehicles for self-punishment. Sometimes we lash out at others, hurting ourselves by
hurting them. As if seeking to escape divine retribution, we punish ourselves, often
relentlessly.
Guilt only works if you let it.

Anonymous
A guilty conscience becomes the means by which we seek to purify ourselves of our
misdeeds. We judge someone who hurts others as a bad person. We, on the other hand,
want to be good people, and we prove that to ourselves by the pain we suffer when we
contemplate our mistakes. At some irrational level of mind, we try to establish our
goodness by suffering over what we consider our badness.
Conscience is a tool used by many of us to enable our suffering and sense of misfortune.
Conscience is nothing more than a trick played on us by our ego as it attempts to force
on us beliefs and opinions programmed by others. This conditioning is insidious,
usually starting when we are young, impressionable children and continuing through
our adult life. By becoming aware of the true nature of conscience, we can become free
of it. Our responsibility grows as we drop conscience and develop the inner emptiness
that is consciousness. Consciousness is awareness beyond conscience.
We are inherently worthy
In order to transcend the mind, we must experience genuine self-esteem. This may seem
peculiar, because we often associate the word egocentric with an inflated view of
ourselves. In truth, the mind expresses itself through both self-praise and self-blame.
Labels, whatever the precise words used, are always a trick played by the mind.
Freedom comes when we let go of all labels and love ourselves exactly as we are.
Again and again in the course of this process, we see how the mind turns everything we
know upside down. The mind uses guilt, shame, blame, denial, and punishment to
establish itself as being in control. In reality, these are manifestations of our fear that we
are unworthy. In order to get to the Truth about who we really are, we must face up to
fear. To tear down the mask of illusion, we must be honest about what we have done
and about where our true self-interest lies.
Step Four opens the door to inner peace
Rigorous honesty demands courage. Our minds are expert at justification, and we
struggle mightily to place that which we do in a context that excuses it. We deny those
things which are unloving or unfair. When we are uncomfortable with ourselves, we
seek ways to restore our image in our own minds.
Courage is letting go of our belief systems; not clinging to the past. It is

making ourselves available to the present.
Anonymous
The ego would convince us that the end justifies the means, that we were provoked, that
someone else was responsible, or that the person we hurt was somehow deserving of
unkindness. We use stereotypes that put people in the context of objects so we need not
face the reality of their pain. There were many times when we have been insensitive to
the feelings of others, times when the force of our anger or desire outweighed all other
considerations.
Cheating on exams and insurance claims has almost become expected behavior. In
today’s society, profits are typically seen as more important than people. The standards
of the world are often unloving, and we sometimes give in to the temptation to lower
our own standards in order to get what we think we want. We are tempted to tell
ourselves that we have no choice, that everyone else does it. We may go along with the
crowd in deference to those whose approval we seek. Sometimes we act out of
rebellion, reacting against what we perceive as control, losing a bit of ourselves in the
process.
As we integrate the ideas in these Steps, we find that our values undergo a change. As
we reframe our view of life to include a spiritual perspective, we see our past actions in
a different light. What seemed excusable, and perhaps even necessary from a self-
centered point of view, may no longer be consistent with the vision we now hold. We
realize that resistance to looking at these aspects of ourselves does not bring peace. As
we join in the Benestrophe movement, we experience a desire for a new beginning.
Self-honesty begins with commitment
We desire change, yet the prospect of releasing the energy locked up in the shadow side
of our consciousness can be terrifying to ego, which above all wants to look good. We
may try to convince ourselves that this Step is unnecessary, that it is focusing unduly on
the negative. We identify ourselves as kind and loving people, and it takes courage to
admit that in spite of what we know about Love, we often think and act in ways that are
less than loving.
The Truth is never negative.

The Buddha
Only when we openly and honestly confront ourselves can we know the peace that
comes from living in alignment with our highest values. Our understanding of the
futility of denial and self-loathing brings us to the realization that the only way for us to
find inner peace is through a courageous inventory of the ways in which we have
blocked Love. We must commit to taking this inventory now.
Experience is our teacher
The purpose of this inventory is correction, not chastisement. To move from denial of
imperfections to self- condemnation is no movement at all. Honesty requires a certain
detachment. We must be willing to take responsibility for our responses to Life, and we
must be willing to forgive ourselves. To judge oneself is no different than to judge
another. Beating ourselves up over past mistakes only serves to make us miserable, and
when we feel badly about ourselves, we bring unhappiness to those around us.
The word sin was originally associated with archery-its meaning was to miss the mark.
Part of Life’s Perfection is that we learn through our errors. Even as we admit our
shortcomings and experience the pain of viewing these episodes from the perspective of
our present state of consciousness, we humbly acknowledge that mistakes are our
teachers. When we learn to look at our human frailties with patience and compassion,
we become better able to see ourselves in others and to see others in ourselves. As we
approach the totality of our lives with honesty, we express the energy of unconditional
Love, which heals our lives and allows deep and lasting change to occur. When we
learn from our errors, we invest them with purpose. As we weed guilt from the garden
of our lives, we grow.
We write so we can remember
Taking an inventory of our lives is a challenging job. If we attempt to do it in our heads,

the mind maneuvers us into dishonesty without our being aware of it. We must be
willing to look boldly at all aspects of ourselves and feel whatever comes up. This is not
a mental exercise, but a deep plumbing of our depths. To approach this Step
superficially does not work.
Notice the difference between what happens when a man says to himself, I
have failed three times and what happens when he says l am a failure.
Deepak Chopra
Our minds are adept at denial and rationalization. How often have we approached Truth
only to convince ourselves otherwise later? How often have we come to an
understanding of some principle, only to have it recede into forgetfulness? When we
write our inventory, our efforts are there in black and white for us to look at over and
over until we have learned the lessons this process holds for us.
If our examination is searching, we may be shocked to discover the extent to which our
denial system has hidden Reality from us. As our minds acknowledge the facts about
our lives, knots of contracted energy are released. Denial numbs us, and the intensity of
this process is at times painful. Take deep breaths during this process, relaxing during
the exhale. We are giving birth to ourselves.
We face the mind in all of its complexity
The mind is not monolithic. It does not speak to us in one voice, but rather in a
committee of voices, all representing parts of ourselves. Through working on this
inventory, we become familiar with the different voices that speak to us through our
minds. There are parent voices, child voices, angry voices, irrational voices, judgmental
voices, and voices urging us to escape. There are voices that whisper common sense and
voices that scream for rebellion. Listening to the dialogue of these voices and noting
their widely-differing points of view brings many great insights into the way we have
made our life’s choices.
Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around us in
awareness.
Stephen Levine
We find that things we resist committing to paper are among the most important to look
at. The voice that tells us something is unimportant, that we have already come to terms
with it, or that it isn’t an issue for us is quite often the voice of our denial. This most
insidious of voices is the one that urges us to sweep things under the rug, to gloss over
incidents, to forget. Self-examination is not always easy, but the alternative is a life of
denial and in-authenticity.
We put forth a clear intention
When we sit down to take our inventory, we need paper, pencils, and at least a few
hours of quiet, uninterrupted time. We may want to begin with a quiet meditation to
center ourselves. Since the inventory covers incidents from Childhood to the present
time, we may not be able to complete the entire process in one sitting. After our first
session, we may have a sense of how much time we need to complete the inventory. We
would be wise to set a formal schedule or make a commitment to finish by a certain
date. We gain power through completion.
Because of the highly personal nature of this inventory, we find a safe place to store it.
We always treat this process with the respect and reverence it deserves.
In what ways have we missed the mark?
We begin with a simple listing of all the ways we have missed the mark. We include all
attitudes and actions that trigger feelings of regret, remorse, embarrassment, discomfort,
or which we recognize as unjust or unloving. We may use the following list of
categories to help us organize our inventory: anger, greed, guilt, violence, judgment,
abuse of power, abuse of trust, stealing, dishonesty, unkindness, insensitivity, gossip,
pride, grandiosity, arrogance, irresponsibility, dependency, cowardice, jealousy,
laziness, insincerity, hypocrisy, gluttony, waste, habits and addictions, self-pity, lack of
respect, hatred, prejudice, regret, and blame.
Interestingly enough, it’s the sense of unworthiness which maintains ego.

Stephen Levine
By using these categories in an order that is relevant to us, we list the instances in our
lives in which we were unloving. By putting each of the words above at the top of a
page, we can note the particulars pertinent to our own experience.
Many people organize the inventory chronologically. Others prefer to first exhaust one
category then move on to another. Some simply allow memories to flow forth in
whatever order they will. We need not go into detail, but we should be specific. It is not
enough to say, I have stolen, I have gossiped, I have been judgmental, etc. Abetter
example of inventory items would be I stole my sister’s necklace; I overheard my boss
fighting with his wife, and I laughed and joked about this with co-workers; I feel
superior to my friend because he still eats meat.
Feelings are not always predictable
When we finish, it is important to see if anything remains that causes us guilt, shame,
anger, or regret. We may experience guilt and shame for actions which did not, in fact,
violate our own values, but which conflicted with the desires of parents or significant
others in our lives. We may feel guilty over abandoning the church of our childhood,
not being as affluent as our spouse wishes, or not following in our parent’s footsteps.
These items show us the degree to which we are giving our power to others.
Many of us carry feelings of guilt over things we had no control over. Survivors of war
or disasters that claimed other lives sometimes feel guilty simply for surviving. The
inability to prevent a tragedy or attempts to help that did not succeed can leave us
tormented by painful memories that play over and over in our minds.
When our children suffer, our parents divorce, or we experience greater success than a
friend, we can feel guilty. We can feel guilt and shame over incidents of poor judgment
or for actions that carried consequences we did not foresee-actions that may have been
undertaken with the best of intentions.
For some of us, guilt and shame stem from current attitudes we cling to in spite of
ourselves. Perhaps we harbor secret feelings of superiority, attachment to junk food, or
judgments that run counter to our public image. All such things are appropriately
included in our inventories.
We don’t leave ourselves out
While we tend to think of denials of Love in terms of how they affect others, we must
not forget to consider how our actions hurt us. We must acknowledge anger turned
inward, as well as anger directed toward other people. Failure to respect ourselves is as
significant as failure to respect others. Self-betrayal is as important to acknowledge as
betrayal of those who trusted us.
You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you
have a right to be here. And, whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the
universe is unfolding as it should.
Max Ehrmann, Desiderata
As we do the work of self-examination, we see that our human frailties are

manifestations of our addiction to approval and control, distorted attempts to experience
ourselves as lovable. As we review our shortcomings, we see that each item is reflective
of a lack of Self-Love and Self-Trust. We find that in every instance, fear was at the
root of our unloving behavior, and the person we hurt most was ourselves. Although our
list may appear to be about things we have done that hurt others, it is we, ourselves,
who bear the brunt of the suffering. Step Four, which may initially strike us as
depressing, is soon revealed as an exciting Step toward Unity, Freedom, and Bliss.
We stand at a turning point
Taking Step Four is critical to this Twelve Step process. When the Fourth Step
inventory is done in a searching and courageous manner, we establish a new
relationship with ourselves. We should remember: this is our inventory. This process is
about getting honest, not about our penmanship, writing style, or grammar. What others
would think of our inventory or the way we have written it is of no consequence.
This may be the most important writing we ever do. It is an excursion into our thoughts,
emotions, and behavior. Although this process may be painful, it is an important part of
clearing away the debris that stands between us and our potential for expressing the
highest and best within us. Step Four is an opportunity for us to learn from our mistakes
and open to Love’s healing power-the beginning of a process that removes the liens of
the past so we may own our present moment free and clear.
How many times have you tried to shield yourself by reading the
newspaper, watching television, or just spacing out? That is the $64,000
question: how much have you connected with yourself at all in your whole
life?
Chogyam Trungpa
The point of our self-evaluation is to look at the burdens of guilt and shame we carry
within us. Since we attack others as a means of avoiding our own painful reality, guilt
and shame are often bound up with hurt and resentment. Facing the source of these
distressing emotions can be the most difficult part of facing ourselves. But we work this
process courageously. We remember that strength lies in defenselessness.
We feel in order to heal
Our written inventories are tools with which to mine the depths of the self. Anger, grief,
sadness, fear, and remorse are likely to come up as we come face to face with parts of
ourselves we have kept hidden from awareness. The reason we buried certain aspects of
our experience in the first place was our unwillingness to experience painful feelings.
Emotion is energy moving through our bodies. When we block it with denial, we
become ill-spiritually, mentally, and physically. When we allow it without drama or
judgment, we come alive, and the rifts of separation within ourselves begin to heal. If
we begin to feel depressed or anxious, we breathe deeply, allowing the feelings of this
moment to flow freely. We are beginning a process that will heal these painful
memories.
Through honoring our highest ideals, we honor ourselves

As we work the Fourth Step, we have an opportunity to get in touch with the priorities
in our lives. The unloving actions we have taken were reflections of what was important
to us at the time. We put material acquisition ahead of Love, and we suffered. We put
saving face ahead of honesty, and we suffered. We gossiped, labelled, and judged in
order to feel superior, but instead, we felt small. We won at another’s expense, but the
joy we expected was tainted.
As we take this inventory, we discover the high price we have paid for dishonesty. As
we cut through layers of denial, we begin to feel lighter, stronger, and more alive. Only
when we face ourselves squarely do we reap the reward of true Self-esteem.
Truth is the way that aligns our lives with Love. In this Fourth Step, we tell the
Truth. Once we do, the Truth will set us free.
The only thing permanent about our behavior patterns is our belief that
they are so.
Moshe Feldenkrais
Love is our focus because only Love is real. Our cars will one day end up in a junk
yard, our wardrobes will go out of style, our wealth will pass to others; but the wisdom
we gain and the Love we find inside us are ours to keep forever. Through this self-
examination, we affirm that in spite of appearances, Love is what we are.
STEP FOUR
We make a searching and courageous

inventory of ourselves.
What are some of the qualities you are glad you have?
Share about the impact that carrying around guilt and shame has had on your personal
life.
What are some of the kind things you have done in your lifetime?
What question did you ask yourself most often as a child?
Tell about a time when you found it particularly rewarding to be honest.

Share about how taking responsibility for something you did in the past has brought you
freedom in the present.
Describe something you did that you regret.
Mistakes are teachers rather than failures. Give an example from your own experience
in which you discovered this fact.
Talk about the value of putting your inventory in writing.
What did you learn from your inventory? What surprised you?
What time period was the happiest in your life?
Share about the unloving things you have done to others. How do they reflect a lack of
Self-Love?
Describe a time when you acted with integrity.
What is one of the most difficult things you have had to do in your life?
When have you acted courageously? When have you acted cowardly?
Share a secret about something you have done that others might find surprising.
Describe a situation when your silence had a better result than if you had spoken.
What have you learned about yourself as a result of your inventory?
Coming from your own experience, how would you define courage?
Share about how taking the Fourth Step has changed your life.
STEP FIVE
Choosing to release guilt, we tell the

truth to a trusted person about
everything we have done that is
inconsistent with Love.
In taking the Fourth Step, we opened to feelings we had previously shut out, facing
ghosts that lurked just beyond awareness. In this Fifth Step, we come out of the closet.
Until we accept the person who did all the things on our inventory as worthy and
lovable, we cannot break free of the past.
Guilt and shame arise from a sense of unworthiness. At the core of everything we have
denied is our denial of Love. Facing ourselves honestly is a beginning, but we cannot
feel free of guilt as long as we have anything to hide.
Honesty opens the gate to Freedom
Regardless of how thorough we have been in our inventories, as long as we hang onto
our guilty secrets, we cannot experience ourselves as free.
We are only as sick as our secrets.

AA
Confessing one’s shortcomings is an ancient practice for releasing guilt. Healing our
lives is our responsibility. Disclosing our guilty secrets heals our lives. We must do this
for ourselves, but we cannot do it by ourselves. Sharing how we have blocked Love
strengthens ourselves.
We choose our partners carefully
Only the mind sees giving and receiving as separate acts. In truth, they are different
aspects of the same act. The Fifth Step is a powerful instrument of restoration for the
one who tells and the one who listens. When hidden within us, guilt creates a barrier to
intimacy. Through honest and heartfelt sharing, the barrier comes down.
The person with whom we share our inventories participates with us in this sacred act of
healing. We look for a person with qualities of centeredness, compassion, and integrity;
someone with whom we can be honest without fear of judgment; someone who will
maintain confidentiality, and, above all, someone who knows how to listen. In short, we
want someone we can trust.
We may choose to do our self-disclosure with a member of the clergy or a therapist.

There is also much to be said for choosing someone who is not a professional listener,
but someone who, like ourselves, is involved in the process of Self-exploration. We
might choose someone from our Benestrophe group. Such a choice insures a partner
familiar with the principles of Benestrophe who understands the purpose of our
disclosure.
To my mind the beginning of the answer to almost every question of our

society is relationship with others who are searching for Truth.
Jacob Needleman
In most cases, we should not take our Fifth Step with a spouse or close friend who may
be personally affected by portions of our disclosure. By choosing someone who has not
been involved in our lives, we free ourselves of concerns about protecting the
anonymity of third parties who might figure in our disclosures.
If we do not belong to Benestrophe, we might choose to take our Fifth Step with
someone who has done this work in the context of A.A. or another Twelve-Step
program. Perhaps we belong to a church or some other group where people are involved
in personal growth. Perhaps we attend a therapy group or yoga class. Maybe we have a
spiritual teacher or a friend with whom we discuss spiritual things. Perhaps there is
someone we met at a seminar with whom we had a strong connection and who would be
delighted to make themselves available to us. The important thing is not to turn the
challenge of finding an appropriate partner into an excuse for not taking the Step. When
we commit absolutely to taking this Step, we create the means with which to do it.
Step Five is a rite of passage

Many of us have lost touch with the value of ritual in our lives. Typically, rituals that
we do still honor- weddings, bar mitzvah’s, confirmations, graduations-are little more
than preludes to the party that follows, their high points often the clothes worn or the
gifts received, rather than the ritual itself. The transformational experience that was the
original purpose of all ritual usually eludes us.
The Truth about this process is that we get out of it what we put into it. If we view the
Fifth Step as an obligatory effort, we will get a less rewarding experience than if we
view it as a spiritual cleansing, a sacred offering of our guilt into the fire of Life. It is
appropriate to ritualize this process because it represents a shift in experience.
By placing our disclosure in a ceremonial context, we establish it firmly in our

experience as a rite of passage. We can create a sacred space. We can begin with a
meditation, a prayer, or an invocation. We can prepare ourselves with a fruit fast or a
ritual bath. When we are done, we can burn the notes used in the Step in a ritual fire or
bury them in the earth. We can present our partner with a gift to symbolize the bond that
this sharing represents.
Ritual is the fiber that makes the cable of the bridge that will take you to
the other shore.
Dhyani Ywahoo
Our ability to ritualize is limited only by our imagination. These things have meaning
only inasmuch as we invest them with meaning. Attention to this detail serves to draw
us deeper into the experience. We can make use of all of these suggestions or none of
them. We can come up with our own unique ways to make the moment meaningful.
Regardless of how, or if, we choose to ritualize it, the Fifth Step is about showing our
shadow side, to a fellow human being.
There are practical considerations
It is important to have a space that insures uninterrupted privacy, and at the same time,
allows us to have a sense of spaciousness. We want to be clear and well-rested. We
want to schedule our Fifth Step at a time when we do not have some engagement to rush
off to once we’re done. We may want to unplug the phone.
As we begin, we want to focus on the Heart. Although we may bring a copy of our
written inventory so we don’t leave anything out, we should not simply read from it. To
get maximum benefit from this experience, we want to be as present as possible. What
we are doing here is not the same as reciting a litany of our shortcomings. What we are
doing here is a sacred ritual.
We open to what is
As we share the many ways in which we have denied Love, emotional energy cannot
help but move. Any number of feelings may arise in the course of our disclosure, but if
we have prepared ourselves well for this Step, we will come to feel a tremendous sense
of relief as we release guilt that had been buried deep within us. By going slowly and
allowing feelings to express, the energy moves, and we move along with it.
Do the thing you fear the most, and the death of fear is certain.
Dale Carnegie
The point of this Step is inner cleansing through the sharing of memories that defined
who we thought we were. Although we may be tempted to omit, slant, or dramatize
information, our commitment is to telling the Truth. Anything consciously left out
contracts into a ball of guilt within us, robbing us of the Freedom and joy that come
with taking off our masks. So, we exclude nothing.
Listening to someone’s disclosure is a gift
The Fifth Step is a powerful experience for both people involved, as we learn when it is
our turn to listen to another. The invitation to take part in someone’s self- disclosure is
an honor that we should not take lightly. As a participant in another’s rite of passage,
we may also choose to ritualize the experience. We have a responsibility to come to the
session as centered and balanced as possible, having set aside our own issues and
concerns so that we may give our partner undivided attention and acceptance. The
important point to remember is that this slice of time is for the person who is disclosing.
As much as we might like to jump in with our own experience or opinion, we refrain
from doing so.
Sharing transformation is
transformation.
When taking the Fifth Step, we are involved with our own feelings and may not be
aware that the process can hold as much challenge for the one who receives as the one
who shares. When we listen to another’s Fifth-Step revelations, we may be tempted to
sympathize, give advice, comfort, or inject our opinion. This is not our role.
There is tremendous power in the simple act of listening with the Heart. Strange as it
may seem, being truly heard is an uncommon experience for many of us. To be
completely present with another is a gift which the Heart receives. Being fully present is
all that is required.
Intuition will be our guide

While we withhold advice and judgment during another person’s disclosure, we can,
through gesture and encouragement, facilitate the flow of expression. This is a mutual
experience, and entering into the ritual space will put us, as listeners, in touch with our
depths. We can trust our intuition to guide our responses and communication of
acceptance and Love with a minimum of intrusion.
We are each of us angels with only one wing. And we can fly only by
embracing each other.
Luciano de Crescenzo
We prepare ourselves to be comfortable with silences, as well as with tears or other

emotional expressions. We should be receptive to the needs of the person disclosing as
regards prayers or other ritual elements, even though these specifics may not be part of
our own spiritual path. We may want to get an idea of how the process will be handled
before coming to the session. Matters such as allergies to incense, time considerations,
or anything else that could be a potential distraction or inconvenience should be
communicated and worked out in advance.
Confidentiality is absolute
When someone selects us to listen to their Fifth Step disclosure, they are honoring us
with their most painful memories. Everything shared in the Fifth Step process is held in
absolute confidence. Even the fact that this process has taken place is not ours to
disclose without permission.
Genuine intimacy can only be created in a climate where two individuals

are willing to be real with one another.
John Amodeo & Kris Wentworth
There may have been several people who could have served as the receptive partner in
this process and these people might feel hurt at not being chosen. Even if the discloser
seems to be open with others about the proceedings, that does not free us from our
pledge of confidentiality.
Truth will set us free
The process of taking inventory and then making our disclosure is transformative.
Although we may still have faults, make mistakes, and face challenges, we do not finish
this process the same as we began. This cleansing process frees us from emotional
baggage that we have long carried with us. Our participation in the Twelve-Step process
of Benestrophe eases our journey home to Unity, Freedom and Bliss.
A mind stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old

dimensions.
Oliver Wendell Holmes
Taking the Fifth Step is a process that the ego views as unthinkable, as something
damaging and threatening. Afterwards, we are strengthened by our demonstration of
courage. The process helps us realize how the human condition bonds us with one
another, how our secrets are not as horrible or unique as we had imagined, and how our
minds use guilt and shame to magnify our mistakes and hold us captive to fear. Once we
become accepted unmasked, we gain a perspective from which we never fully retreat.
Regardless of the judgments we face in the course of Life, we know at a deeper level
than before that our mistakes do not define who we are. The experience of assisting
another with their Fifth-Step process and Loving them as he or she works through it
adds a dimension to that relationship.
Whether or not we recognize it in any given moment, unconditional Love is what Life is
all about. What we reject in ourselves and others is the product of ego, not of Self.
When we confront the mind’s illusion by being honest and taking responsibility for our
lives, the Truth about ourselves becomes visible. Sharing this with another person
allows us to come out of hiding and live honestly. As we embrace honesty in thought
and action, we choose inner peace.
To find God within you, you must go through the portal of self-acceptance.
Emmanuel
As we work these Steps, we see the important role honesty plays in our ability to be in
the moment. Whereas once we would have gone to any Length to defend ourselves, we
are now able to accept what is. Accepting ourselves, we are more able to accept Life.
No longer needing to deny our mistakes, they become valuable feedback. Likewise,
when others criticize us, we are able to use their comments for our growth.
Honesty creates a shift in our lives. As we come into the present moment more fully,
long-standing patterns dissolve. As the guilt and shame that kept us in the past or future
is released, we find we are increasingly ready to make whatever changes are necessary
to manifest health, joy, and abundance.
Admitting what we have done is only half of the equation; the other half is our
willingness to take appropriate action. Step Five supplies us with the vehicle to direct
that action. In this Step, we bring to completion the process we started in Step Four. We
express our unconditional Love through the action of making amends. In this sense,
Step Five opens our Hearts to see the Reality of a world that is not burdened by the pain
of separation, a world that knows Unity, Freedom, and Bliss.
The Fifth Step brings all our relationships, past and future, into the present moment. It
creates the space for every aspect of our lives to exist in harmony and balance, free of
any encumbrances that may have weighed us down at some other time. Step Five frees
us to move forward without baggage from the past. After we have taken Step Five, we
find it easier to relax and be in the moment.

STEP FIVE
Choosing to release guilt, we tell the

truth to a trusted person about
everything we have done that is
inconsistent with Love.
Share about how you felt after taking Step Five.
We are only as sick as our secrets. Share about the impact that dumping your
garbage has had on your aliveness.
Talk about the benefits of sharing.
What surprised you the most about your experience with Step Five?
What did Step Five teach you about listening?
Share about an experience that taught you the value of confidentiality.
What aspect of revealing your secrets have you found to be pleasurable?
What was the most supportive thing your partner did to support you in taking
Step Five?
Talk about the importance of paying attention to your intuition when listening to
others.
What would you like to share with those who have not yet taken this Step?
Describe a time in your life when you revealed something to someone and the
results of doing so were other than what you expected.
Share about a situation you’ve experienced where it was better for you to keep
quiet.
Share about how taking the Fifth Step has changed your life.
STEP SIX
Choosing to manifest health, joy, and
abundance, we live consciously in
gratitude for the gift of Life.
Freedom from fear comes when we are able to live in the moment. The moment is easy
to embrace when we re alone in Nature, enjoying body work, or sharing with someone
we love. Most of the time, however, being here now involves keeping our focus in a
world full of pressure and confusion. We need to stay open to Life while trying to make
a living, get the kids off to school, keep the house clean, and fight the traffic.
It’s important that we remember that our physical, human selves are not the opposite of
Spirit, but are Spirit’s expression in the world. Too often, we set our spiritual lives apart
from our daily routine. We may meditate, go to meetings and seminars, and read
spiritual books, but there is a tendency to overlook many basic things in our daily lives
that limit our health, joy, and abundance.
Work performed with the right attitude is worship in action.

Yogi Amrit Desai
In Step Six, we look at the details of our everyday routine so that we can acknowledge
whatever may be interfering with our ability to manifest Love. We make the changes
necessary to bring our lives into balance and harmony.
We show ourselves Love by the way we live
The way to show Love to the people around us is relatively clear. We touch them, listen
to them, acknowledge their goodness, and respect their needs. But, when it comes to
ourselves, the way to best show Love might not be so clear. We often get caught up in
immediate gratification without considering the long run, or we seek nurturance in ways
that actually harm us. When guests come, we clean the house, create a pleasing
atmosphere, prepare a balanced, healthy meal to serve, and do what we can to make
them feel honored. But, too often, it’s a different story when dealing with ourselves. We
profess self-love, but live in a way that sends an altogether different message. We
convince ourselves that the details of daily living aren’t so important. Yet when we
ignore them, we deny ourselves something significant. In Step Six, we focus on
gratitude. We pay attention to our daily lives, and the result is the experience of
gratefulness.
Joy is that extraordinary happiness that is independent of what happens to

us. The root of joy is gratefulness.
Brother David Stendl-Rast
Whether in bodywork or in daily life, paying attention to the details, energies, and
nuances of what is going on makes all the difference. The wrong music, lighting, or
temperature can make it more difficult to fully appreciate the most expertly given
massage. In the same way, when things are out of balance in our day-to-day living, it’s
hard to realize health, joy, and abundance-even if the doctor has just pronounced us fit,
and our lives are filled with blessings.
Life is a miraculous Gift
It’s important to appreciate who we are and that we are. The Earth has supported life for
millions of years, during which time countless billions of creatures have come and gone.
We cannot begin to calculate the odds that brought together all of the elements that have
made us who we are; yet, how often do we take the time to get in touch with the
miraculousness of our existence?
Modern life can be very busy, very lonely, or both. There are distractions everywhere,
and technology has yielded instant everything, alienating us from the cycles of Nature
that grow our food, from the rhythms of the seasons, and from the sense of what goes
into making the goods we take for granted. Our minds, conditioned by media images of
how we should be and what we should want, are always restless. Too often, the things
we do to sustain life-preparing food, bathing, cleaning, and the like are experienced as
intrusions that must be handled so we can get on with the important business on our
agendas.
If you are fighting on the battlefield, or fighting in the office, or fighting in

your home, or fighting in your mind, there is no such thing as being with
the Tao.
Deng Ming-Dao
We have lost touch with how out of touch we are. As we frantically search for ourselves
in our careers, social lives, and involvements, we lose sight of the soft harmony of
simplicity. So intent upon where we are going, we fail to appreciate where we are. We
find ourselves gulping down Life as if it were fast food, never stopping to savor, hardly
bothering to chew. Like the child who gets a bike when he wanted a pony, we often fail
to recognize the abundance that surrounds us.
Life isn’t made meaningful by the momentous occasions that we carry forward in our
memories. The simple fact that we exist is a cause for celebration; and if we want to
change our actions, the best way to start is by bringing a sense of celebration to our
attitude. There is little joy in doing things because we should, or because we fear the
consequence if we don’t. We’ve all experienced moments of resolution with little result.
That is because attempts to force change bring us into the experience of deprivation and
our minds rebel. But, when action arises out of an expanded sense of balance and
harmony, rather than an attachment to some distant goal, the grateful Heart opens to
embrace what is.
An attitude of gratefulness keeps us in the moment

Life is too precious for anything less than Love. When we open our eyes, we see that we
are surrounded with miracles. You’ve been down, anxious, not paying attention? It’s
okay. No matter how unconscious and unappreciative we have been in the past, we can
awaken in an instant. At any moment we can stop, take a deep breath, and become
present with the totality that surrounds us. At any moment, we can let go of our striving
to get someplace else and be fully where we are-in the midst of an array of sound, color,
and sensation.
There is a great difference between striving for what we deem pleasurable and opening
our Hearts to the pleasure inherent in every moment. It is the discovery of this deep and
inalienable pleasure that transforms anxiety and dissatisfaction into unconditional
gratitude-the sort that enables us to change our lives.
Happiness is not what makes us grateful; it is gratefulness that makes us

happy.
David Steindl-Rast
Like fear, gratitude is a self-perpetuating cycle. Being grateful deepens our awareness,
and as we become increasingly aware, we become more grateful. Instead of being
merely a response to something that pleases us, gratitude is a state of consciousness that
transforms everything into Wholeness and Love. It makes us mindful of blessings, and
when we learn to savor what we have, what we have fills us. The ability to take delight
in whatever Life makes available releases us from the persistent grasp of ego’s cravings
and aversions. You will be amazed to discover how much energy it takes to sustain all
the little demands and bits of resistance that your mind puts out every day. But when
gratefulness frees the mind from its relentless requirements and stops placing conditions
on our happiness, we discover that the state of health, joy, and abundance is our natural
state and is a state of empowerment.
Cultivating an attitude of gratitude is the basis of our Sixth-Step work. Regardless of the
specific actions needed to bring our lives into greater balance and harmony, the focus is
on doing what we do with an open Heart. If this involves facing some difficult truths,
great!
Those insights and what led up to them are the keys to our jail cells. If it involves
abandoning French fries and malted milks and making friends with broccoli and alfalfa
sprouts, super! What a wonderful opportunity to practice letting go of judgment and
opening to the beauty of the moment. If we want to experience more health, joy, and
abundance in our lives, certain actions will likely be called for, and gratefulness most
definitely makes that easier. However, no matter what we do or don’t do, without
gratitude, our lives remain unchanged.
We open our Hearts to our bodies
When a friend gives you a special gift, what do you do? You appreciate it. You touch it
with tenderness, and you resolve to take very good care of it, because whatever else it
might be, it’s a symbol of Love and worth being valued. Life provides us with many
such gifts, and we need to appreciate them in the same way. In order to actively
manifest health, joy, and abundance, we must live in a state of balance and harmony that
honors all the aspects of who we are.
We start with the most basic expression of ourselves- the bodies in which we live. The
ideal relationship between body and mind is a partnership. The problem is that mental
and emotional conditioning tends to keep us running on automatic pilot. If our minds
enjoy smoking, eating junk food, exercising compulsively, or watching lots of
television, our bodies are forced to go along for the ride. Decisions as to when we are
done eating, when we may sleep, and how we shall relax are often made independently
of our physical state.
Stability developed through nourishing daily habits is fertile ground for

deepening our spiritual roots.
James Redfield & Carol Adrienne
The Celestine Prophesy, An Experiential Guide
Just as criticism and control put a damper on a child’s ability to express his or her
feelings, our bodies respond to the mind’s arrogant demands by shutting down. We lose
contact with the inherent wisdom that springs forth when mind and body are in a
balanced and harmonious relationship. Our body is a patient friend, but eventually, like
any other friend whose gifts are constantly ignored and denigrated, it reacts-with stress,
illness, or the refusal to comply with ordinary demands.
In Step Six, we seek to forge a more honest and appreciative Relationship with
ourselves. It can take time to soften the conditioning of a lifetime, but we make a
commitment to exchange our denial-supporting habits for those that express Love. We
stop taking our bodies for granted and start opening our Hearts to the gratitude and
respect that such a miraculous gift warrants.
We stop, look, and listen
One of the necessary ingredients for making this Twelve-Step process work for us is
rigorous self-honesty. The Love that can heal us is not blind, but acutely aware. In order
to allow the fear in our lives to be transformed, we must be willing to come out of
denial. As we grow spiritually, we come to a point where we can no longer ignore the
consequences of our disorganization, poor eating habits, frantic schedule, or whatever it
is that creates imbalance. We begin to see these things for what they are-fearful
reactions that take us out of the moment and into unconsciousness.
To live leisurely means to take things one by one, to single them out for
celebration.
Brother David Steindl-Rast
The mind may, at first, be hesitant to feel the results of its choices, but the willingness
to face the truth about our lives is crucial to becoming free. Acute awareness of what
unconscious living has done to our lives gives us a strong motivation for change. If we
can muster the courage to fully experience the imbalance, we will have an immediate
and intense experience of what happens when we take steps to re-establish harmony.
As we intentionally deepen the Relationship between mind and body and consciously
cultivate an attitude of gratitude, we notice that all aspects of our lives are
interdependent, that what we eat affects our meditation, what we watch on television
affects our sleep, whether we get up early or late affects the tone of our day. As we
begin to pay grateful attention to the subtleties of the moment, intuition awakens. As we
begin to live fully and not just be moved around by our habits and desires, we shift from
denial to an awareness of gratefulness.
Take some time now or when you finish reading this chapter to get in touch with your
body. Appreciate it and listen to it. Get in the habit of every now and then closing your
eyes and fully feeling what is going on within your physical self. Learn to separate the
body’s needs from the mind’s desires. Does your body need something different than
it’s getting-more fruit, more exercise, more relaxation, more bodywork? In the
beginning this process is like checking in-like an occasional phone call to see how a
friend is doing. After a while, you will notice that you and your body are in constant
communication, and you are far more awake than you were before.
A healthy diet is the foundation of a healthy life
One of the primary ways we abuse our bodies is with what we eat. When it comes to
food, it is particularly clear that we cannot trust our minds. There are deeply conditioned
likes and dislikes to contend with before we can make conscious, loving choices about
the food we consume. We often eat out of a sense of emotional emptiness, rather than
physical hunger; we often choose the temporary pleasure of good tasting but unhealthy
food over the genuine sense of well-being that comes from a balanced diet. Sometimes a
craving for pleasure leads us to over-indulge; sometimes a busy schedule becomes an
excuse for ignoring the body’s nutritional needs.
All of us can benefit from eating with increased gratitude and awareness. When we
undertake dietary changes with the focus on experiencing a difference in our physical
and emotional well-being, we honor ourselves. We learn that what our bodies want is
often not what our minds crave and what our minds crave often makes our bodies
miserable. By putting diet in the context of exploration and Self-Love rather than
deprivation and willpower, we open the door to real and lasting change.
There are many schools of thought regarding diet, and only you can determine what is
best for you. The local health food store contains a wealth of information about
vegetarianism, macrobiotics, vitamins, minerals, and herbs. Combine a sense of
adventure with gentle discipline and experiment! Meanwhile, here are some things to
consider:
Nutritionists recommend that 70 to 80 percent of total calories come

from complex carbohydrates- whole grains, fruits, and vegetables.
Processed foods contain an excess of salt, sugar, and chemical
preservatives.
Drinking with meals dilutes the stomach’s hydrochloric acid making
digestion-especially of protein-less efficient. Hydrogenated oils found in
margarine, vegetable shortenings, and cooking oils contribute to
hardening of the arteries and, in general, accelerate the growth of
degenerative diseases. Experts recommend cold-pressed olive,
sunflower, sesame, safflower, soy, or linseed oils.
Frying foods doubles the calories.
Drinking one to two quarts of water in small increments throughout the
day aids metabolism and helps flush out contaminants.
Wheat is more acidifying than other grains, and wheat sensitivity
commonly plays a role in food sensitivities and eating disorders.
Food sensitivities can result from eating the same things over and over.
Certain foods do not digest well together. Some recommend
carbohydrates, fruits, and refined sugar be eaten separately from
proteins and fats.
Be willing to take a long, hard look at the way you have been eating and fully
feel the effects of what you do in your body. Decide what changes might be
warranted, make them, and, again, pay close attention to the differences this
makes.
If mealtime at your house is a rushed affair, slow down and savor the
experience. Much over-eating comes from eating so fast that the body does not
have time to realize that we are full until we are over-full. Allow yourself to
acknowledge your relationship with the food as you prepare it, and honor the
Life-force within the food through gratefulness. Light candles, say grace, eat
with the intention of nurturing yourself. Let solitary eating be as much a
celebration of Love as a special dinner party. After a week or so of healthy
eating, notice the changes in your energy level, weight, and sense of physical
well-being. After a week or so of conscious eating, notice how loving yourself in
this manner affects your ability to stay centered and express Love in other areas
of your life.
Stress is fear in street clothes
Every day, we hear more and more about the role that stress plays in our lives,
yet as time goes by, Life seems to get more stressful instead of less. While we
may not be able to control our boss’s criticalness, our children’s demands, or the
uncertainty of our futures, in order to manifest health, joy, and abundance, we
must learn to release stress.
Whenever anxiety arises within you, you become an

atheist.
Swami Ramakrishna
The first step is to see stress for what it is: a form of fear that is so common a
fair number of us are actually addicted to it. Even as we acknowledge its
deadliness, many of us wear stress as a badge of honor, demonstrating how
industrious and indispensable we are or dramatizing how difficult and heroic our
lives are. But, there is no glamour here. Stress is a compulsive contraction
against Life’s uncontrollability, coupled with an intense, though often
unconscious, need to live up to an image of who we think we should be.
Stress maximizes the negative. In a state of stress, the smallest problem is

magnified, until a stubbed toe, a broken dish, or a minor misunderstanding
becomes a statement of our worth. We react by preparing for fight or flight, and
when neither is possible, our tension level rises. Stress puts us in a state where
we sacrifice our ability to make choices. The more out of control we feel, the
more stressful Life becomes.
When our lives are full of stress, stress becomes our focus. Everything we do
takes on an aura of compulsiveness. There never seems to be enough time. We
over-commit, over-spend, and over-react; we are forgetful and misplace things;
we lose our tempers, saying and doing things that create more stressful
consequences. Stress robs us of the ability to experience the moment in all its
splendor, creating a sense of lack, regardless of what we have. Stress makes
even our pleasures joyless. Ultimately, stress erodes the body’s ability to stave
off disease, leading to physical degeneration and mental illness.
You cannot experience the faintest mood without your

heart cells sharing it, and at the same time your lungs,
kidneys, stomach and intestines participate in your
mental life as fully as your brain does.
Deepak Chopra
Whenever we stuff a feeling, fail to listen to our bodies, say yes when we mean
no, project the slightest untruth, ignore our Heart’s intuitive wisdom, or try to
avoid the consequences of our thoughts and actions, we generate stress. The
only real remedy is to slow down and take responsibility for our lives. Ego
operates under the delusion that our thoughts and feelings are merely responses
to external conditions, when, in fact, external reality mirrors our deepest beliefs.
Stress only seems to be a quality of life. In truth, it is a consequence of our
forgetting the Love that is our Reality. Everyone glimpses Love now and again.
The objective is to extend our consciousness of Love until we live twenty-four
hours a day in a state of maximum health, joy, and abundance.
Kindness begins at home
Letting go of the stress in our lives is a simple matter of treating ourselves with
kindness. Listening to our bodies, eating with consciousness, and getting enough
sleep and exercise are a beginning. But we need to go further. We need to make
a concerted effort to unloose the habitual tightness that is encoded into our
bodies, and we need to learn to respond to Life rather than react. This means
making time for things like bodywork, meditation, and leisurely baths. It means
looking at any addictive patterns we have been using to hide our feelings. We
must be willing to hear what is going on with ourselves in the same way we
would be willing to listen to a beloved friend.
There is a very interesting mechanism that the universe
has to help you make spontaneously correct choices. The
mechanism has to do with sensations in your body. Your
body experiences two kinds of sensations: one is a
sensation of comfort, the other is a sensation of
discomfort. At the moment you consciously make a choice,
pay attention to your body and ask your body, “If I make
this choice, what happens? “If your body sends a
message of comfort, that’s the right choice. If your body
sends a message of discomfort, then it’s not the
appropriate choice.
Deepak Chopra
When we use cigarettes, alcohol, video games, television, work, shopping, or

anything else to distract us from our emotional reality, we create stress. Even
though we tell ourselves we do these things to relieve stress, that is not the
result. The way to Freedom lies in gratitude and awareness, not in
compulsiveness. We need to look at any addictive patterns we have developed
and do what is necessary to step clear of them.
The same kind of rigorous self-honesty that allows us to easily and joyfully
change our eating habits will provide the impetus to let go of our addictions.
First we feel it, then we heal it. A lot of the stress in our culture comes from the
notion that we should be able to go it alone, that vulnerability and needfullness
are aspects of ourselves that should be hidden behind masks of confidence and
control. This can lead to huge backlogs of unexamined and unprocessed stuff
that we have been pushing down year after year. Dealing with it may require
help. If you find yourself in this position, be grateful! That we need one another
is an expression of our collective Wholeness. It’s part of being human.
In the natural healing force within each one of us is the

greatest force in getting well.
Hippocrates
Benestrophe meetings, Twelve-Step programs, therapists, spiritual teachers,

professional body workers, and good friends all provide the kind of atmosphere
where we can use honest communication to get in touch with our deeper issues
and spring forth into daylight. Letting others into our lives in meaningful ways is
a great act of kindness-both to ourselves and to them. When we allow our
humanness to blossom, instead of trying to be super- people, we become more,
not less.
Look at your addictions, feel fully the numbness, hangovers, or extra 30 pounds
you’ve been trying to hide, and commit to take action. But, be gentle with
yourself, remembering that the goal here is Self-Love. There are many healthy,
wonderful ways in which to be kind to ourselves and any sort of genuine Self-
kindness reduces stress. You can start a journal, take a yoga class, allot a certain
amount of time each week to reading or walking in Nature. Mostly, you can pay
a little more attention to your breathing and just slow down enough to enjoy the
moment and treat yourself as you would any other friend.
A positive outlook is a healthy outlook
When a trusting Heart is able to shine its light into a receptive mind, the result is
optimism. An optimistic attitude eliminates one of the primary causes of stress:
self- condemnation. When we do not allow the memory of past pain to define
present situations, we can bounce back from difficulty with a gift of wisdom,
rather than a burden of depression.
Optimism adds years to our lives, both by promoting physical health and by
returning to us all the moments that would have been lost to worry, resentment,
or anxiety. An optimistic approach allows us to see whatever Life brings in the
most positive and purposeful light. When every challenge brings the gift of
growth, we have less fear, more enthusiasm, and greater energy to create the sort
of lives we desire.
One who is always seeking material benefits rarely has

his desires satisfied; but to one who does not seek them,
they come easily and abundantly. How strange seems
the Law!
Swami Paramananda
By learning to live optimistically, we enhance our aliveness. We are able to

know Life’s profoundness with out the heaviness. We become more creative and
more adventuresome. An optimistic attitude supports us in being honest and
gives us the ability to laugh at ourselves. Optimism brings humor to situations
that would once have been frustrating or depressing. When we interpret reality
from an optimistic point of view, we open the way for Life to reveal the answers
we need. Optimism is an expression of Trust in Life-an attitude that gets us out
of our heads and into the moment.
Abundance manifests when we focus on what is
The essence of Step Six is learning to use everything as a means to increase

gratitude and awareness. As we become more conscious, we become more
empowered. When we use the senses as a means of denial and escape, they lock
us into the bondage of distraction and addiction. When, instead, we utilize the
senses to drink in the moment, they help us to awaken. By learning to live
consciously, we transform sensory experience into spiritual experience.
If you hear the singing within yourself, you are hearing
God’s voice.
Swami Muktananda
The secret of the abundance we have been chasing our entire lives lies in the
simple act of paying attention. Whenever we take something for granted or
approach a task mechanically, we deprive ourselves of the gift it holds for us.
When we give Life the full measure of our attention, we start to experience the
Wholeness for which we yearn.
We can choose fear or Love. As we haul the trash to the curb, we can pay
attention the quality of the light, the warmth of the sun or coolness of the breeze,
the chirping of birds, or any number of sensations that give rise to gratitude-or,
we can focus upon our anger that someone else didn’t do this job, our anxiety
that we will be late, or some other expression of resistance. One choice provides
an experience of abundance, the other an experience of lack.
Such moment to moment decisions about where we place our focus may seem
trivial, but are, in fact, major life choices. More than how we choose to make a
living, who we decide to marry, or where we spend our vacation, the way we
relate to the moment determines the degree of abundance we experience. When
we derive pleasure from whatever circumstance we find ourselves in, we no
longer feel the need to control Life in order to be fulfilled.
We reap the fruit of our intentions
By going through life as consciously as possible, looking always for reasons to

be grateful rather than excuses to judge, we become increasingly centered. As
we learn to use our senses to reveal the pleasure inherent in all undertakings,
resistance no longer stands between us and what we wish to accomplish.
Bodywork and improved eating habits are recommended as starting points, but
once we discover that every moment is a gift, there is no limit to what we can
do.
When you walk, walk; when you run, run. Above all,
don’t wobble.
Zen master
An honest appraisal will get you on your way. How much of your identity is tied
up in being needed or successful in someone else’s terms? Do you secretly
cherish your stress as a symbol of how important and productive you are? How
often do you get a sustained half hour of aerobic exercise? Would you encourage
a beloved child to copy your eating habits? Do you keep promising yourself to
do things you never seem to get around to? Are messy closets, piles of un-ironed
clothes, or overdue thank-you notes nagging at the back of your mind? Do you
often say yes, then wish you’d said, no?
How much time do you spend doing the things you truly love? Do you make
enough time for friendship? Are you spending too much time at the computer or
watching television? Do you consistently buy things you don’t need? How often,
in the course of the day, do you stop, breathe deeply, and drink in the sights,
sounds, smells, and texture of your experience? How much mental energy do
you give to complaining and procrastinating, instead of doing what needs to be
done? The answers to these questions will guide you in realigning your life.
In less than an hour, you can make an assessment of your current reality, noting
the things about your daily life which could benefit from loving attention. Some
of us find we would be happier with a tighter routine, more regular meals, and a
commitment to meditate, exercise, or read on a consistent basis. Others
recognize that our lives have become overly structured, that we need to clear the
decks and allow more time for playing with our kids, connecting with friends, or
simply doing nothing.
We glibly talk of nature’s laws But do things have a

natural cause? Blackearth becoming yellow crocus Is
undiluted hocus-pocus.
Piet Hem
As we focus on the gift of this moment, we affirm that which we would like to
bring into our lives. Positive affirmations, consciously constructed, frequently
repeated, and invested with the full power of our imaginations are potent tools
for reprogramming negative attitudes. When creating an affirmation, it is
important to be precise, positive, realistic, and emotionally committed to
realizing the reality that is affirmed. Affirmations that reflect an action rather
than an ability are easier to visualize, and, therefore, more powerful, especially
when we work with them just prior to sleep. I approach each task consciously,
joyously, and lovingly, is an example of an affirmation that exemplifies our
Sixth-Step work. We can also tailor affirmations to specific situations: I have
ample time to complete what I begin, Daily exercise is a joyful expression of
Self-Love. or It is easy for me to ask for what I need at all times, are some
examples. As we frequently speak, write, and mentally repeat our affirmations,
while using our imaginations to enter into their realities as fully as possible, we
feel them beginning to work in our lives.
We live in a world of infinite possibilities
There are no boundaries to our potential. We can create for ourselves whatever
sort of life-experience we choose. Whatever qualities reflect our highest ideal,
we can become those qualities. Each of the Steps works on us in two ways-by
encouraging us to open our Hearts and to train our minds. Our minds are like
little children always wanting to run all over the place. We’re used to either
indulging them or clamping down and trying to control them. What the Twelve
Steps of Benestrophe teach us is that a truly open Heart is like a wise parent who
can channel the mind’s wild energy into something useful and productive. When
we give our mind the task of paying attention and searching for deeper and
deeper truths, it becomes attuned, content, and optimistic.
Feeling out of control has nothing to do with the fact that Life is uncontrollable
and everything to do with the state of our most intimate, personal lives. In Step
Six, we discover that the sense of control we’ve been clamoring for is ours when
we simply shift our focus from striving for what we think we want to being
grateful for what we already have.
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.

Helen Keller
Life, itself, is a precious gift. When we wake up to the joy inherent in simply
living, gratitude floods our Hearts. Each day becomes a new adventure, each
action an expression of Wholeness and Love. When we live consciously, taking
each moment as it comes, there is no limit to what we can accomplish. When we
have the right attitude, health, joy, and abundance manifest effortlessly in our
lives.
becomes much more than a slogan. It becomes the wisdom that will
lead us to our Heart’s desire.
STEP SIX
Choosing to manifest health, joy,

and abundance, we live consciously
in gratitude for the gift of Life.
Share about a time when you felt grateful for something.
What art forms contribute most to your well-being and health?
Come up with something you could do to simplify your life.
Give an example of something you have done that required discipline.
What type of adventures would you like to have?
What are some ways in which you can manifest health, joy, and abundance in
your daily life?
Name something you feel grateful about.
Describe an experience that made you feel grateful for the gift of Life.
Share about a gift you have received that came from the Heart.
What practices or teachings have had an impact on your life?
Share about a trip you’ve taken that has contributed to your spiritual growth.
Share something that happened recently that stimulated your sense of gratitude.
Share an experience where maintaining an optimistic attitude has had a

noticeable effect.
Are you as healthy as you know how to be? What could you do in your life to be
healthier?
What aspect of your life needs change?
Coming from your own experience, how would you define gratefulness.
Share about how taking the Sixth Step has changed your life.
STEP SEVEN
Choosing to resonate with Unity,

Freedom, and Bliss, we humbly
celebrate Sacred Relationship with
ourselves, one another, and all that is.
Unity, Freedom and Bliss is our Birthright. Sacred Relationship is the vehicle by which
we claim this Birthright. Sacred Relationship is loving Relationship, spiritual
Relationship, based not on individual egos but on the Wholeness of unconditional Love.
Through the vehicle of Sacred Relationship, we come to know firsthand that only Love
is real, and all else is illusion.
Love is the only action, everything else is reaction.

Jolie Pond
Times are changing, and old archetypes change with the times. Co-creators of
Benestrophe do not resist new paradigms, but allow themselves to be inspired by the
spiritual evolution that is now sweeping our planet. The old model of relationship has
been superseded by the new model. This new model is called Sacred Relationship. Step
Seven allows us to keep pace with our new archetype by evolving through the vehicle of
Sacred Relationship. As the energy of our planet shifts, and as we, ourselves, evolve to
a higher state of consciousness, the Unity of Sacred Relationship will transform our
world.
Sacred Relationship expresses Wholeness and Love
Old-style relationship, such as society’s outmoded institution of marriage, developed as

a means to allow individuals a better chance to survive in a hostile world. When people
needed to defend themselves against wild animals and seek shelter and food hour by
hour, such methods of bonding served an important purpose. Today, however, our
world is a vastly different place than that of our ancestors, and the needs and wants of
people have changed accordingly. Along with these changes, a new, more-evolved
model of Relationship is upon us. Humanity is now ready to embrace an entirely new
type of Relationship. We call this new concept Sacred Relationship. Sacred
Relationship is guided by a sense of compassion and Love between equals. Unlike the
old style of relationship, the purpose of Sacred Relationship is not to survive, but to
evolve spiritually into the higher consciousness of Love. Sacred Relationship expresses
the ideals of Wholeness and Love. Those committed to Sacred Relationship co-create
experiences that lift communities, nations, and cultures into the new realm of Heaven on
Earth. Sacred Relationship implies Freedom for all. This new archetype for Relationship
is the wave of the future.
Any and every relationship should be for the purpose of helping the other
one attain freedom, or for being helped in attaining freedom.
Lester Levinson, The Sedona Method
Most relationships start at the material level, in the realm of mind and illusion. While
such relationships appear to function for a time, unless unconditional Love is the
guiding force, they ultimately crumble. Sacred Relationship, by contrast, stands the test
of time. We enter Sacred Relationship to heal ourselves and to support others in healing
themselves. When our Hearts merge, healing happens.
When we are stuck in old ways, we cannot grow, and we cannot evolve. When we cling
to old archetypes, we remain rooted in the past. We are like the stiff old tree that cannot
bend and breaks with each new storm. The new way is Sacred Relationship. When we
embrace the new archetype of Sacred Relationship, we receive our passport to the new
and brighter future.
The archetype of marriage was designed to assist physical survival. When

two people marry, they participate in an energy dynamic in which they
merge their lives in order to help each other survive physically. The
archetype of marriage is no longer functional. It is being replaced with a
new archetype that is designed to assist spiritual growth. This is the
archetype of spiritual or sacred partnership.
Gary Zukav, The Seat of the Soul
Sacred Relationship transcends time and space. Sacred Relationship, unlike concepts
formed by the mind, is indestructible. Sacred Relationship lives in our Hearts and shows
itself in everything we do. When we celebrate Sacred Relationship, we are recognizing
the Divinity that dwells within every living creature.
We humbly celebrate Sacred Relationship
Humility is the consciousness of recognizing our Self. Thus, when we humbly celebrate
Sacred Relationship, we are reinforcing who we are. Humility and celebration
compliment one another. Humility acknowledges the spiritual quality of Relationship.
As we celebrate Sacred Relationship, we maintain our focus on our unique role in the
expanding Universe of Love. As we face Life with humility and reverence, we allow the
unbounded joy that wells up within us to seek its own natural expression. When our
celebration is rooted in humility, we form a communion or sharing with our Self. In
humble celebration, we foster an attitude of acceptance, unconditionally welcoming all
that Life brings. This intense form of celebration brings all things together in Unity,
where no conflict exists.
Celebration is rejoicing in all the beauties, all the joys, all that Life offers,
because this whole Life is a gift of God. Celebration does not divide. It
unites, it brings things together; it creates a togetherness in the world.
Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh
Celebration is an attitude of grateful acceptance of the gift of Life. Celebration is

unconditional. It transforms sadness into joy and misery into happiness. Song, dance,
laughter, prayer, meditation, and Love are all ways in which celebration manifests. As
we celebrate with others, the energy of the group merges to create a synergistic effect
that dissolves ego and self-righteousness. When the predominant energy of the group is
unconditional Love, fear evaporates, providing the openness and willingness that allows
countless miracles of healing to take place.
Celebration embodies Unity, Freedom, and Bliss
Both separation and Unity are concepts that emerge from our consciousness. From
different perspectives, they both seem to be true. Our individuality can be likened to
what happens when a prism breaks up white light into a spectrum of color. In order to
see the reds, greens, and yellows, the colors must stand apart from the one another. Yet
all colors spring from a single source, which requires each in order to be complete.
Likewise, each of us is an essential part of the Whole. We discover ourselves when we
explore our Relationship to this Whole.
All know that the drop merges into the ocean but few know that the ocean
merges into the drop.
Kabir
As long as we believe in separation and we honor that belief by celebrating our

individuality, we suffer. Just as a single bite of our favorite food serves to whet our
appetite, our ego-based relationships give us a tiny taste of Wholeness and eventually
make us dissatisfied. Our minds tell us that if we can improve ourselves, bring the best
conditions into our lives, or win the love of the right people, our Hearts will remain
open. This erroneous viewpoint perceives Love as conditional. Love is always
unconditional, beyond relationships that serve the ego.
When we seek Unity by entering into exclusive Relationships, we end up feeling

vulnerable. When we seek Freedom by avoiding commitment, we end up feeling empty.
When we seek Bliss in self-indulgence, we end up drained of energy. Unity, Freedom,
and Bliss cannot be achieved through striving. These qualities are the essence of Life.
When we attune ourselves to Wholeness by humbly celebrating Sacred Relationship, we
automatically begin to resonate with Unity, Freedom, and Bliss.
The key to this attunement is humble celebration of Life. The essence of celebration is
grateful attention. The mind’s focus is naturally on our own personal wants and needs.
When humility shifts our focus from selfish desires to the sacredness of compassion and
Sacred Relationship, the Wholeness that already exists within us begins to resonate with
the Unity, Freedom, and Bliss inherent in all of creation.
The Earth is our Mother
A long time ago, people lived close to Nature. They honored and respected its cycles
and rhythms. They understood the interconnection between the spirits of the fire, the
corn, the nursing baby, the dying elder, the hunter, and the prey. For these ancients, a
notion of Relationship that focused on personal fulfillment was incomprehensible. For
them, Relationship was necessary for survival. No one had to remind them that
Relationship was Sacred. In time, as humankind sought to test its power, the natural
world became just another object to be conquered. Desire for what the mind terms
progress has blinded us to the delicate balance that heals and holds the world together.
As we lost our humility, we lost our sense of the sacred. Words like alienated, isolated,
segregated, and lonely now describe a huge segment of our population. As our
environment chokes on the refuse of our convenience, the pain of separation is
awakening us to the necessity of rediscovering what has been lost.
We are now beginning to realize the price we have paid for the actions that allow us to
feel in control and powerful. In forgetting that we are all children of our Mother Earth,
we have sacrificed our experience of Unity, Freedom, and Bliss for the dubious benefits
of alienation, for the convenience of fast food and cheap energy. Because we have lost
touch with our true place in this magnificent world, we clamor for anything and
everything that we think might offer relief from the nagging fear that we are not enough.
Although we have convinced ourselves that the emptiness in our lives can be filled by a
person, achievement, or acquisition, this belief actually leads us in the wrong direction.
Striving is not the cure for what ails us. Only by remembering our Oneness with all that
is do we experience the Sacred Relationship wherein we are Whole.
Without reverence, without the perception of the holiness of all things, the
world becomes cold and barren, mechanical and random at the same time,
and this creates experiences of alienation and acts of violence.
Gary Zukav, The Seat of the Soul
An easy way to celebrate Sacred Relationship in our daily lives is to heighten our
awareness of the sentient nature of all that surrounds us. When we approach Life with
reverence and respect, the world becomes more than a backdrop for our selfish drama.
Touching another’s pain brings forth the desire to heal; our yearning to heal our
Relationship with the Earth opens our Hearts to her needs. We see that her needs and
our needs are one.
As we realize that the Relationship between ourselves and Nature is a Sacred

interdependence, we change the way we live. As awareness expands, gratefulness fills
our Hearts. Recycling, conserving resources, becoming more conscious consumers, and
living deliberately are some of the ways by which we celebrate Sacred Relationship.
Personal Relationships are also Sacred
Even those of us who feel a deep resonance with the Wholeness inherent in Nature can
lack the experience of Sacredness in our personal Relationships. We avoid using
Relationship as a way to bolster individual identity and give us a sense of control. We
avoid confusing relationships with labels. We avoid expressing relationships in the
possessive case: My mother, my friend, my enemy.
We divide our world into those we know and those we do not know; into those who
appear similar to us and those who appear different; into those we like and those we
dislike. What passes for Love is granted accordingly. When we use Relationship to
define our self-concept and meet our needs for approval and control, we miss the fact
that simply sharing the planet with other beings in this tiny slice of time constitutes a
very real Relationship.
I looked for my soul and my soul I could not see. I looked for my God but
my God eluded me. I looked for a friend and I found all three.
Thomas Blake
The self-centered ego, relating everything to itself, also misses the fact that we exist in
Sacred Relationship, not only to Nature and other people, but to the food we eat, the
concepts that create our reality, the feelings that arise within us, and everything else that
exists in our world. The mind is unable to fathom our Relationship with the brook, the
rain forest, and the man on the bus. However, when we humbly celebrate Sacred
Relationship and open our Hearts in Love, we feel Unity, Freedom, and Bliss resonate
deep inside us.
What we see in our Relationships exists in ourselves
When we live under the influence of fear and separation, we live in material
relationship. We become absorbed in what we want, what we need, who we want to be,
and how we want Life to be. We place limiting conditions on our ability to experience
unconditional Love. This attitude results in relationships that are exclusive, possessive,
and carefully-defined interactions in which we need everyone to dutifully follow their
assigned script. Since this focus attracts others equally engrossed in their own needs and
desires, we end up with relationships that don’t work.
Only in relationship can you know yourself, not in abstraction, and

certainly not in isolation.
J. Krishnamurti
We blame our self-doubt on disappointing relationships, yet our relationships can only
mirror what we bring to them. What appears in this mirror is a reflection of some aspect
of ourselves, an aspect that we may be totally unaware of. Typically, we try to fix our
relationships by trying to change other people. Of course, these other people tend to be
equally committed to the idea that the problem lies with us. This situation creates a
climate where virtually no one feels secure. Love becomes conditional, something that
is experienced only in the presence of approval or control. Relationships become
alliances entered into for the purpose of filling some lack we perceive in ourselves.
The key to Sacred Relationship is commitment. When we are dishonest about our needs
and desires, we plant the seeds of resentment. Saying yes when we mean no reflects fear
rather than Love. Integrity means being real, acknowledging who we are, with our
strengths and weaknesses. Integrity never lies or misleads, but always accepts and tells
the Truth. When we live in integrity, there is no need for stress or worry, since the
comfort and assurance our Hearts provide can never be broken. Living with integrity
turns relationships into Sacred Relationship.
To change the reflection of ourselves we see in the bathroom mirror, we do not work on
the reflection itseW but rather on that which is reflected. When one s appearance
changes, so does one’s likeness in the glass. The tricky point to remember about mirrors
is that, while they seem to show an actual portrayal of what is before them, the image
we see is colored by our focus. The reflection shown to us when we look in the mirror is
a reflection of our self-concept. This image miraculously changes as we change our
focus.
If we were to come up with one word about each of the troublemakers in

our lives, we would find ourselves with a list of descriptions of our own
rejected qualities.
Pema Chodron
What we experience in our relationships with other people reflects not so much who we
are as who we believe ourselves to be. We can change partners, friends, and careers and
still find ourselves dealing with the same old issues that have always faced us. When
ego reigns, we see ourselves in terms of separateness, and we perceive in others
qualities that make them seem separate. When we see the Relationships in our lives as
opportunities to love and grow, we use the reflective nature of Life to our advantage.
While thoughts and feelings may arise uninvited, we choose which ones to energize
with our attention. At every moment of our lives, we choose the high road or the low
road. We can indulge in reaction or look for an appropriate response. We can judge the
deed or remember the doer of the deed. When we experience ourselves as subject and
treat all else as object, we see a lonely world in which Wholeness is but a pipedream.
When we approach Life with an attitude of humble celebration, we experience Sacred
Relationship and Unity, Freedom, and Bliss become our Reality.
Getting is giving
This approach requires some retraining. The mind is conditioned to look out for its own
interests, and gifts from our egos are not given, but exchanged. When we give out of a
sense of obligation, to escape a feeling of indebtedness, to stave off guilt, to create
dependency, or to feel appreciated and worthy the result we obtain is less than joyful.
Thank everyone who allows you to serve them. They have given you an
opportunity to release yourself from the restrictions of your own
limitations and selfishness.
Yogi Amrit Desai
The Self we discover whenever we get beyond self- interest is a source of continual joy
because it is rooted in Love, not fear. Belief in fear has left us scarred, and the scars
hide who we are. All relationships, the difficult ones and the easy ones, offer an
opportunity to heal our lives.
Sacred Relationship honors the Self in us all
When we live Life in celebration of Sacred Relationship, we consciously mirror to

others the Truth of who they are. By choosing to filter out all negative perceptions of
the mind and to reflect only the beauty in those we meet, we see the Relationship
between how we perceive and what we perceive. We see that areas where we could
criticize are areas where we can empower. The energy of unconditional Love works
through us in a vivid and tangible way.
Relationships are for mutual healing
Sacred Relationship is the expression of the Wholeness for which we yearn. The
realization of Sacred Relationship removes all conditions from the Love we experience.
The point of the Twelve Steps, and of this Step in particular, is to change our experience
of Sacred Relationship from something that is only experienced periodically, to
something that is fully realized and celebrated as the essence of our lives.
The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical
substances: if there is any reaction both are transformed.
Carl Jung
Since a relationship describes two or more things in reference to each other, when either
one of those things moves or changes, so does the relationship. The changes that occur
within us as a result of these steps automatically reflect in our relationships. All our
Relationships provide opportunities to heal that within us that blocks Love.
Below are some guidelines to help direct us in our Relationships. These guidelines can
accelerate our healing process and give us guidance as we explore the vehicle of Sacred
Relationship.
Self-Love is not selfish.

We cannot extend to others a love that does not include ourselves.
When to speak is superfluous, we remain silent.

Before beginning a conversation, we ask ourselves three things: Are our words
true? Are they necessary? Are they kind?
Analysis yields paralysis.

Analysis takes us out of the moment so that ego controls our lives.
What we resist persists.

We do not criticize, condemn, complain, or explain.
Utilize don’t analyze.

The way to fulfillment is through conscious action.
Walk your talk.

Live a life in accordance with your ideals.
Unkindness is never justified.

A kind word carries unlimited power.
Live and let live.

We let go and let Love.
Opinion is worthless; experience is priceless. While differences of opinion often

lead to conflict, differences in experience provide a diversity from which all
people may benefit.
Ask for what you want.

Your friends will love to give it to you.
Angels fly because they take themselves lightly.

Walking lightly, we can travel much farther than we do when taking heavy
steps.
Seek the company of the wise.
Jonas Salk says that the old archetype of survival of the fittest has evolved to a
new archetype of survival of the wisest.
We use everything to our advantage.

When we view everything that Life presents as an opportunity for healing, the
joy we feel radiates unconditional Love into all our Relationships.
There are no victims, only volunteers.

We are responsible for our own destiny.
Touching says I love you.

A gentle touch says what words cannot.
Guilt only works if you let it.

No guilt is ever justified-or ever useful.
Love heals, criticism poisons.

Love is the antidote to all poisons.
Keep it simple.
Complexity is the enemy of prowess.
Listen with the Heart.

Ears never hear as clearly as our feelings.
Impatience is self-rejection.
We are eternal, and impatience takes us out of the moment.
We are all doing the best we can.

When we see people for who they are, we cannot help but feel Love for them.
There is no right way to do the wrong thing.

Instead of rationalizing an unwise deed, we should demonstrate wisdom and not
do the deed in the first place.
Love is letting go of fear.

Love cannot be found in the fearful mind.
Trust intuition, it is only right 100% of the time.

Our intuition exists for a purpose: for us to use.
Forgiveness is the key to happiness.

Freedom awaits us on the other side of forgiveness.
To give is to receive.
Abundance happens when energy flows both ways.
No one can make me wrong but myself.

We alone control our opinions of ourselves.
Seek win-win solutions.
The only real solution is one where everyone wins.
Responsibility is key to all the guidelines. Responsibility is the ability to respond

to the opportunities of Life. It does not mean a duty. Nor does it imply blame,
fault or guilt. In a Relationship, it is important for all parties to take one-hundred
percent of the responsibility.
Expanding consciousness opens our Hearts
In the normal course of Life, people feel they experience Oneness based
upon things held in common, such as interests, beliefs, ancestry,
economic class, or commitment to a particular cause. Often, this unity
feels strongest when we perceive opposition from an imaginary outside
force. As we explore the essence of Sacred Relationship, however, we
experience Unity within diversity, and search out points of contact
where once superficial differences would have put us off.
The ability to recognize ourselves within others gives us patience and

understanding. As our identity shifts from the shallowness of ego to the vastness
of Spirit, we realize that what has been separating us is, indeed, illusion.
To me Life and God are synonymous.... Life is within you

and without you, in the trees, in the clouds, in the stars.
This whole existence is a dance of life.
Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh
As we integrate this realization into our lives, Life becomes lighter. We become
able to see Life as a Divine Play. We still retain our roles and our quirks, but
they do not get in the way of our celebration of Life as they once did. Like
children at Halloween, we come to see who is behind the mask.
As our consciousness expands, we come to perceive the consciousness in all of

Nature. We appreciate everything for itself, not just for the benefit it may hold
for us. The waste and carelessness which previously indicated a lack of
awareness fade as Love of Life grows. By living this Seventh Step, we come to
understand that Sacred Relationship leaves nothing out. The same tides that
swell the ocean rise and fall within us with each breath. The sun, which warms
us, warms all living things. The molecules that form our bodies once made up
other forms, other galaxies. The dreams we dream, the hopes and fears we carry
within us, have all been dreamed and hoped and feared by all of humankind
since time immemorial. Knowing this, we need not fear loneliness or separtion.
An awareness of our connectedness to the Whole leads inescapably to a life of
joy and contentment, a life of sanity. Gratitude is the inevitable result of a life
based on Sacred Relationship.
Sacred Relationship is the link to everything we think and dream. Along with
Sacred Touch, it is the vehicle by which we can end the pain of separation and
set humanity once again on its proper course.
Whoever is saner at the time the threat to our relationship

is perceived should remember how deep is his
indebtedness to the other and how much gratitude is due
him and be glad that he can pay his debt by bringing
happiness to both.
Each link is important to a chain; each note is important to a symphony. Each

expression, be it Love or negativity, ripples out from us in ways we cannot begin
to imagine. We affirm Sacred Relationship through the creation of win-win
solutions to our problems. Sacred Relationship shows us that peace within us
requires peace among us, and peace among us requires inner peace. When we
are able to humble ourselves so as to celebrate Sacred Relationship, we
automatically tune in to the resonance of Unity, Freedom, and Bliss.
We can’t do it alone
Sacred Relationship expresses the interconnectedness of all that is. We enter into
Sacred Relationship consciously, fully aware of where we’ve been and where we
are headed. Many people have lost sight of the sacredness of Life and the
Oneness contained within Life’s diverse manifestations. In order to remember
our Wholeness, we must release our belief in separation and fear. To support this
transformation, we seek the company of those who inspire our growth.
Consciously, we enter into Relationship with other co-creators of Benestrophe.
Our friends and acquantances have much to do with the quality of our
experience in Life. By seeking fellow travelers on our spiritual journey who are
like-hearted and comitted as we are to Unity, Freedom, and Bliss, we make
easier the difficult periods and speed our periods of growth.
I have learned silence from the talkative; tolerance from

the intolerant and kindness from the unkind. I should not
be ungrateful to those teachers.
Kahlil Gibran
based on Love. In this way, the Twelve Steps of Benestrophe are much like a
lesson in remembering. Those with whom we willingly join in Sacred
Relationship are the teachers of our course. Sacred Relationship is always an
eye-opening experience.
Don’t avoid relationships: they are the best seminar in
town. The truth is that your partner is your guru.
Sondra Ray
Inevitably, we resonate with the influences that surround us. By spending time
with people who express competitive, materialistic, or self-righteous attitudes,
we strengthen those elements of our own character and facilitate their
manifestation in our lives. By spending time with people who celebrate Sacred
Relationship, we strengthen our ability to perceive Wholeness. While honoring
all Relationships as Sacred and purposeful, we recognize the benefit in
associating with others who share our vision, purpose, and goal.
Benestrophe is living in Love
As we consciously focus on the Sacredness of all Relationships, we feel awe

toward the miraculous unfoldment of Life. Attentiveness to the interactions
between our thoughts and the conditions in our lives reveals subtle patterns and
resonances that strengthen our experience of Trust and Love.
Awareness of Love is not difficult. In Truth, it is our natural state, the natural
way we would all be without the influence of fear or the pain of separation. But
we have forgotten how to cultivate our awareness, how to live a life When we
embrace Sacred Relationship, we rediscover the sacredness of Life and of
ourselves. The power of Relationship to heal our lives becomes apparent as we
learn that no distinction exists between inner and outer. With this insight, the
walls of separation dissolve, and Love becomes unconditional. The experience
of Unity, Freedom, and Bliss is our Birthright. Sacred Relationship allows us to
experience this Birthright immediately and intimately.
In this Seventh Step, we make a conscious and deliberate choice to approach all
Relationship as Sacred Relationship. We open our Hearts to a willingness to
love and be loved. When we do so, every Relationship we experience in Life is
Sacred Relationship.
Benestrophe is a healing fellowship of men, women, and children who celebrate

Sacred Relationship by supporting one another in moving beyond fear and into
Love. We commit to Sacred Relationship to remind ourselves of the true nature
of our own Relationship. Cocreators of Benestrophe teach Love by the way we
live. Our vehicle of transformation is Sacred Relationship.
The following Commitment to Sacred Relationship has been used successfully

by co-creators of Benestrophe to focus and celebrate Relationships with friends,
lovers, partners, and co-workers. Since the exact wording does not need to be
maintained, the text can be adapted to include special considerations.
Commitment To Sacred Relationship

Ienter this Relationship to heal myself and to support you
in healing yourself Remembering our equality, I commit to
treating you reverently and with unconditional Love. Iwill
accept, honor, and cherish you in this moment exactly as
you are. When anything less than Love surfaces,
regardless of what seems to be the cause, I will
remember that lam responsible and that the Wholeness of
Relationship is more important than any issue. Keeping
communication open, I will re-create Relationship anew,
fresh in the perfection of the moment. As a foundation for
Relationship, I will be guided by the principles set forth in
the Twelve Steps of Benestrophe.
STEP SEVEN
<H1< all another, one ourselves, Relationship Sacred celebrate humbly Bliss,
Freedom, Unity, resonate>
Celebration is an attitude of grateful acceptance of whatever is given us in Life.

When have you felt like that?
What is your definition of humility as used in the Seventh Step?
Give a short speech praising someone who has contributed to your well-being
and growth.
Share about ways that people have demonstrated love for you.
Contrast an experience you’ve had of Sacred Relationship with an experience

you’ve had of material relationship.
Upsets in relationship are inevitable. Share about an upset you have had in a
relationship. Were you able to recreate the relationship anew, fresh in the
Perfection of the moment?
Tell about a situation in which you felt content, in harmony with everything in
the Universe.
Share an experience that expresses what the word reverence means to you.
Share about how relationships in your life function as mirrors.

Describe a relationship that is exciting to you.
STEP EIGHT
Choosing to heal our lives through

forgiveness, we allow Love to replace
blame.
To forgive is to allow Love where once we withheld Love. We enter a state of

forgiveness by recognizing that we are all one Energy and that we are all doing the best
we can. Therefore, we have nothing to resent. We have no reason to feel animosity
toward ourselves or anyone else. Forgiveness happens effortlessly when we recognize
that we are, in Truth, all one Energy. To withhold love from another or ourselves is a
form of attack. When we resent another person we are attacking ourselves as well as
them. Once we discover the Oneness of the Universe, we forgive ourselves, and we
come to accept the rest of the universe exactly as it is. In this Eighth Step, we choose to
heal our lives through forgiveness by allowing Love to replace blame. The result is
Freedom.
Forgiving frees us for giving.

Anonymous
Blame is the mind’s way of avoiding responsibility for our actions and feelings. If
unchecked, blame can grow to enormous proportions, locking us into the belief that we
are victims. Such an attitude leads to helplessness. Other people are not responsible for
our feelings. Forgiveness is the quickest and surest way out of this predicament.
If necessity is the mother of invention, then forgiveness is the father of wisdom.

Through forgiveness, we reestablish Sacred Relationship with the people we blamed.
The power of forgiveness frees us from the pain of the past, replacing fear of the future
with a capacity to accept the present. Only forgiveness can set us free.
Forgiveness is the key to happiness
We have seen again and again in these pages how ego turns our world upside down,
making conditional that which is limitless. Just as we tend to confuse Love with
attachment and Trust with expectation, we confuse forgiveness with the act of
pardoning others for hurting us. 'You are at fault,' the ego says, 'but, I am going to
pardon you for your wrongs.' This traditional view of forgiveness allows us to feel
pious without letting go of judgment. The problem with such a view is that it does not
heal our lives. It simply does not work.
Forgive the world and you will understand that everything that God
created cannot have an end, and nothing He did not create is real.
The word forgive comes from the Aramaic word meaning to cancel or let loose. In
contrast, making others wrong locks us into suffering and casts us into a world of
bondage. Forgiveness comes only when we release blame the way a child opens a jar
and lets a trapped butterfly go free.
We live in a participatory world
Forgiveness involves a fundamental change of perception. In order to escape the prison

of blame, we must get beyond the worldview that sees Life as happening 'out
there./'What we normally refer to as 'reality' is not real. Although we each have a
concrete experience of events in our lives, we do not have the same experience of an
event that someone else does. The reality we perceive has both an objective and a
subjective component. We participate in its creation by the manner in which we
perceive and the ways we interpret our perceptions. Reality is not independent of us; we
play a part. The ability to forgive is rooted in the willingness to acknowledge the part
we play.
This concept is illustrated by the classic story of the five blind men who investigate an
elephant. One felt the leg and came to the conclusion that an elephant resembled a tree.
Another sat on the elephant’s back and knew from his experience that an elephant was
like a table. A third felt the trunk, a fourth a tusk, and a fifth, the tail. Each of these men
knew that they were right about the elephant and stood by what their experience told
them was true. One man became angry, thinking he was being played for a fool.
Another was deeply hurt, thinking the others were ganging up on him with their
ridiculous stories about tables and trees. The third man experienced self-doubt and
worried if he had truly experienced what he thought he had. The fourth was sad,
thinking he had nothing in common with the others. The fifth was smug, thinking he
alone understood the elephant.
People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.

Joseph Fort Newton
We can see from this story how our experience leads us into judgment and blame and
how futile such judgment is. Judgment and blame are never grounded in anything more
than limited perception. The acknowledgment of this limitation demonstrates the
wisdom in letting loose our judgments through forgiveness. To allow Love rather than
to blame is common sense.
Would we rather be right or happy?
Ego will listen to the elephant story and respond with 'Yeah, but my situation is
different. My husband really is. selfish, my boss really does pick on me, my clients really
don’t pay their bills, my competitor really did cheat me. Who wouldn’t feel hurt and
angry? I’m right about this.' Be that as it may, whose experience of Love is being
blocked through blaming another? Who loses the perception of Wholeness? We do! We
cannot hang onto negative judgments without experiencing the pain of our negativity.
Much suffering arises from our need to be right.
Blame is one of the surest ways to stay in a problem. In blaming another,

we give away our power.
Louise Hay
The alternative to blaming others is to accept responsibility for our own experience and
select thoughts that empower us. In practice, the act of forgiving is simple. To forgive,
we allow Love where we once withheld it.
All spiritual traditions place great emphasis on forgiveness. Forgiveness is the means by
which we disempower all that blocks our experience of Love. When we are willing to
realize that nothing less than the Bliss of living in Love is at stake, petty notions of right
and wrong become irrelevant.
Ego perceives the present in terms of the past
When we see a colored, fragrant, velvety cluster atop a thin green stalk, our memory
allows us to perceive it as a flower. What if we had never seen a flower and did not
carry that impression within us? Would we then identify the object as a flower?
In reality, everyone loves everyone. We don’t experience our love for each
other because of all our judgments. When all judgments fall away, all that
is left is love.
Nagah Lord
Consider the pulse. To most of us, the pulse is merely that gentle thumping in our wrist,
but to practitioners of Oriental medicine, the pulse is a diagnostic tool that can provide
detailed information about our physical state. We cannot perceive what they perceive,
because we don’t have the impressions that they have regarding the pulse. In the same
way, we do not feel anger, rejection, insult, or fear unless those impressions are first
present inside us. The person we are blaming for 'making' us feel such feelings is only
showing us what is already there. They are not responsible for what we feel.
We have all noticed recurring themes in our lives. The people in our drama may change,
but a remarkable consistency exists in the sorts of things we find ourselves blaming
people for. We can change jobs, change partners, move halfway around the globe, and
still the same types of experiences come our way. Having compassion for those who
bring difficulties into our lives is a beginning, but until we release the belief that we can
be harmed, the memory of past hurts brings more hurtful experiences into our present.
What we deny in ourselves, we project onto others
We all know people who exhibit tendencies they criticize in others. We all know people
who are the opposite of their self-images, and we have a hard time seeing this tendency
in ourselves. That which we need to heal with our parents, our children, and others has
its root, not in our differences but in our similarities. Underneath superficial differences
of opinion, there lies an identical anger or compulsiveness. We often find that as we
age, we manifest the very qualities we detested most in our parents. That which we most
wanted to avoid is frequently what we become.
What we do not truly forgive, we come up against again and again in life. This is
because anything denied becomes projected and experienced 'out there'. The thought
patterns and emotional energies we hold inside us are broadcast, until, sooner or later,
someone with a complementary pattern shows up. Not recognizing our own part in the
dance, we think the other person is doing something to us. We think if only they would
change, we wouldn’t feel as we do. In truth, that person can change or not change and it
won’t matter at all, because unless we change our beliefs, we will attract someone else
to take their place. We may think there are times when the experience of Wholeness is
taken from us by someone or something outside of us. Actually, we have attracted that
person or situation to mirror some negativity contained within us.
We are never angry for the reason we think.

Eastern religions express this idea through the doctrine of karma; Christianity says, 'As
ye sow, so shall ye reap.' This is a helpful image. When a seed is sown, it is buried in
the ground and is not visible until it pokes through the soil. The seeds that result in our
painful experiences are buried in our unconscious minds. When lack of awareness
prevents us from connecting what we reap with what we have sown, we think we are
victims. As long as we look outward and seek to establish blame, we do not see what is
required of us in order to bring forth a different sort of harvest.
Someone needs to be responsible
If Love is what we are, a Loving Reality must be possible. The reason we do not
experience such a Reality is that ego attempts to make Love conditional. Ego says to
manifestations of Life, 'Well, I am Love, but in order to experience Love, you must meet
my conditions: You cannot criticize me, be angry with me, ignore me, or tolerate anyone
who does. Furthermore, you must never forget my birthday, cut me off in traffic, or
make noise when I’m trying to sleep.'
Taking responsibility for emotional health means being willing to feel

deeply even when one is afraid to do so.
Frances Vaughan, The Inward Arc
Clearly, if we make what appears to be outside of us responsible for our experience of

Love, we experience Love in a limited and haphazard manner. We perceive the cruel,
thoughtless, or aggravating actions of others as being responsible for our lack of Love.
In fact, the only person who allows us the experience of Love is we, ourselves. We can
accept this Truth or deny it, but we cannot change the fact that we are responsible.
Forgiveness requires Trust that Life is purposeful

Getting from blame to Love is the practice of the Eighth Step. This takes courage,
willingness, and persistence, because we are conditioned to equate responsibility with
blame. We need to realize that Life is purposeful, that whatever happens to us happens
for a reason. We need to step back from ego’s perception of us vs. them to gain a larger
perspective that acknowledges we attract the situations in our lives for our highest good.
Whatever occurs isn’t considered an interruption or an obstacle, but a way

to wake up.
Pema Chodron
Without Trust in a larger purpose, accepting our cocreative role only turns blame
inward. We do not know how or why we attract a given experience. We accept that the
experience is, in some way, drawn to us by a resonance we carry within us, but we are
not 'at fault', anymore than we are at fault for the weakness that allows a virus to lodge
in our intestines and give us the flu. Furthermore, we can acknowledge that a situation
shows us we are blocking Love, but cannot know what further purpose it may have in
our lives.
We take responsibility, not to shift blame, but empower ourselves to respond creatively.
To do otherwise drives what we have denied deeper, adding energy to the resonance
that attracts what we do not want. Accepting that something great is at work allows us
to be responsible for what blocks our Love, without blaming ourselves for blocking it.
Accepting that no detail of Life is without purpose replaces a consciousness of blame
with a consciousness of growth, permitting us to create spiritual gold from situations
that might otherwise have led to fear. The essence of forgiveness is release, and only
that which is false need be released.
Forgiveness requires rigorous honesty
To become free, we need to lose the illusory barriers that separate us from each other. In
order to allow Love to replace blame, we must own our feelings and thoughts about
whatever it is that has happened and must be willing to release them. To forgive, we
must accept that the source of a problem is not the person or situation that appears to us
to be culpable, but rather, the source is always our own egos, which persistently cling to
an unloving inner reality.
Habits of thinking need not be forever. One of the most significant findings
made in psychology in the last twenty years is that individuals can choose
the way they think.
Martin E.P. Seligman, Ph.D.
In order to let go of an unloving reality, our yearning for Wholeness must be stronger
than our desire to be right. Rigorous honesty exposes buried beliefs about Life’s
unfairness and our own lack of worth. We may be secretly motivated by a desire for
sympathy or attention or may have attachments to pain, punishment, or negativity. We
may resist the idea that a certain person is Perfect because he or she reflects something
we resist seeing in ourselves.
A written inventory can help us see where we withhold Love
As in the Fourth Step, we write so we can remember. Forgiveness is not accomplished

by allowing time to drive destructive thoughts and feelings underground where we are
no longer aware of them. This sort of forgetfulness only succeeds at holding in place the
confusing patterns that repeatedly plague our lives.
Instead, we courageously make a list of all people against whom we hold resentment.
We write the name of any person we blame and what we blame them for. Our lists
include people we dislike, since such judgment is a form of blame. Our lists also include
parents, children, and others whom we love, as well as the issues that cloud these
relationships. Anything for which we blame ourselves is also included. We may not be
comfortable confronting a list of the secret grudges and judgments we carry, but we
must if we wish to clear our lives of their effects.
The tragedy of life is not death; rather it is what we allow to die within us
while we live.
Norman Cousins
We list not only current anger and hurt feelings, but also issues from the past. We
should pay special attention to events from early childhood and issues we have with
parents, even if our adult minds tell us 'that’s all water under the bridge.' Quite often,
these early hurts are part of ongoing patterns.
Forgiveness is always the wise thing to do
Once we complete our lists, we work the process of forgiveness on each item of the list.
We note the feeling we have about the incident, own the feeling, and get in touch with
the belief behind it. We state the person’s name and the incident, the feeling within us
that the incident put us in touch with, and the belief this feeling affirmed.
Then we acknowledge that the negative belief is an expression of fear (false evidence
appearing real) based on a limited perspective. We negate that belief with the Truth:
'The idea that I don’t matter is a false belief, and I can let it go.' We then note the effect
releasing the belief has on our feeling. 'When I let go of the belief that I don’t matter,
self- pity is replaced by peace.'
He who forgives first, wins.

Anonymous
We then accept responsibility by acknowledging that blaming the other person was a
choice that made fear more important than Love. By blaming anyone else for anything,
we make self-pity more important than peace.
Finally, we affirm that by forgiving the person in question, we claim a positive and
contented feeling for ourselves and restore the Sacredness of our Relationships.
Forgiveness ultimately lets loose all negative beliefs, allowing us to choose positive,
loving responses to Life.
Healing happens one thought at a time
At first, we may find this step challenging. All we need is willingness to recognize the
Oneness of the universe. Anything that helps us to taste Wholeness makes forgiveness
easier. Going to Benestrophe meetings, reading uplifting literature, spending time in
Nature, listening to inspiring music, getting bodywork, and meditating increase our
awareness of the Oneness of Life.
Forgiveness is about healing our lives by letting go of our negative beliefs, not about
shifting blame to ourselves or letting another off the hook. Medical research has
documented the connection between forgiveness and health. Studies show that people
who forgive have less anxiety and depression along with greater self-esteem. In addition
to improving our mental and emotional outlook, forgiveness lowers the blood pressure,
releases tension held in our muscles, and strengthens our immune system. Forgiveness
is physically and emotionally healing.
Traditionally, we think of forgiveness as something we are to do when we

see guilt in someone. But there is no guilt in anyone, because only love is
real. It is our function to see through the illusion of guilt, to the innocence
that lies beyond. To forgive is to remember only the loving thoughts you
gave in the past, and those that were given to you.
Marianne Williamson
We should abandon the notion that forgiveness is doing anyone other than ourselves a
favor. Through forgiveness, we stop being emotional prisoners and free ourselves to
live a peaceful life. When we acknowledge the Wholeness of Love as Reality and
welcome it into our lives, Love heals us one thought at a time.
Fear exiles hope to the mind’s dark, stuffy attic. Forgiveness clears a space in the Heart
and sends a healing message much further than we could ever imagine. Forgiveness
unifies our awareness and frees us to live creatively in the present, rather than as
prisoners of the past. As we develop the habit of forgiveness and discover the Bliss of
the present moment, we change others, not by words, but by example. The only way we
bruised and tattered human beings can return to a world of Unity, Freedom, and Bliss is
to pass through the gate of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is like magic. It has the power to transform greed, anger, resentment, and
general misery into peace and contentment. No situation, no matter how hopeless it may
seem, lies beyond the power of forgiveness to heal. Through the practice of forgiveness,
absolutely nothing is impossible.
One word frees us of all the weight and pain of Life: that word is Love.
Sophocles
Those of us who accept Life’s pain as a learning experience instead of blaming the pain
on others are relieved of a greater pain: The pain of bitterness and hostility. Until we
forgive, we place our anger, hurt feelings, and resentment upon an altar and proceed to
worship them day and night. We make sacrificial offerings of what we cherish most: our
joy, our serenity, our time, and our attention. We may blame another, but we do the
suffering.
Forgiveness purifies the Heart to again receive Love. Only after forgiveness has
cleansed our inner temple can we truly appreciate how much our lives were
overshadowed by the blame we held. Once we experience the Bliss that comes from
releasing our negative beliefs, we wonder why we held onto them for so long. Once we
let loose the emotional baggage stemming from those beliefs, we are able to see how we
victimized ourselves with poisonous thoughts long after the triggering incident had
become ancient history. Only forgiving eyes are eyes that are truly open.
We cannot know the Perfection of the moment when our minds are seething with
resentment or the desire to even a score. What is un-forgiven in our lives acts as a force
that pulls us out of the present moment and into the past or future. By opening our
Hearts to Love we gain the Bliss of the present moment for ourselves while offering
others a true opportunity to experience their own Perfection.
STEP EIGHT
Choosing to heal our lives through forgiveness, we allow Love to replace blame.
Describe something you are bitter about. How does this feeling block your experience
of Love?
Have your parents ever done anything that has irritated you or hurt your feelings? Have
you let your irritation or hurt feelings adversely affect the relationship?
Share about an experience you have had with being forgiven. What did it feel like?
Share an experience where letting go of the need to be right led to happiness.
Share how forgiving someone allowed you to see that person differently.
Tell about a time you allowed the actions of others to make you feel anger or
resentment. How could you have experienced Love instead?
Is there anything for which you still blame yourself or others? Are you ready to release
blame through forgiveness?
Cite an example in which you released resentment as a result of forgiveness.
Tell about a time when you thought someone hurt you. What did you learn from that
experience?
Tell how forgiveness has reduced your level of stress.
Describe an instance when you wanted to be forgiven. Have you forgiven yourself?
How has forgiving others enhanced your own self-esteem?
How has forgiveness brought you more fully into the present moment?
Tell about a situation in which you are unwilling to forgive someone. How does this
hurt you?
Coming from your own experience, how would you define forgiveness?
Share about how taking the Eighth Step has changed your life.
STEP NINE
We make direct amends to people from

whom we have withheld Love, except
when to do so would harm ourselves or
others.
In Step Nine, we make amends for the unloving things we have said and done. We
make amends to increase joy and Love in our lives and to restore balance in our
relationships. When we take this Step, we lead ourselves to Freedom.
Taking the Ninth Step puts into action our emerging consciousness of spirituality. The
process of making amends expresses our changed attitude in a real and tangible way.
Our amends are a visible sign of the inner transformation that occurs when we embrace
forgiveness and reestablish Love as the guiding force in our lives.
Loving action requires courage
We have gone to great lengths to maintain our opinions and judgments. Our minds have
used every trick conceivable to justify our actions and convince us we are right.
Backing off from our cherished positions can be painful and embarrassing. Although we
know logically that fear and separation are illusion, we allow them to have power over
our perceptions. It takes courage to approach those we feel we have hurt and those with
whom we have been in conflict. Until we open our Hearts to these people, a sense of
incompletion will remain with us.
The man whose mind is shaped by selfless thoughts gives joy whenever he
speaks or acts.
Buddha
While we may be eager to make some amends, other amends involve emotional risk and
cause our egos discomfort. The intent of making amends is to put Truth into action, not
to manipulate other people or bring about a desired response from them. The ego resists
what it cannot control. We may wish we could avoid making amends, but renewing our
sense of Wholeness and Love through this process is well worth the effort required.
Written intentions support our actions
In order to complete the process of healing, we make a list of those people we treated
with less than Love. We leave no one out, even those we have lost track of or who have
died. We also remember to include ourselves.
Beside each name, we list the thoughts, words, or deeds we want to heal and the action
we see as necessary to restore the Relationship to Wholeness. Some situations call for
only an apology and a request for forgiveness. Other situations might require more
action to set matters right. We give careful consideration to each individual situation
before proceeding.
Our plan for restitution must be practical and clearly defined. Making amends is not
punishment, but an opportunity for healing. While some amends may require us to give
our time or pay back money, the purpose of this Step is not to assuage guilt through
creating hardship for its own sake. To work this process effectively, we need be honest
with ourselves about what is needed to resolve our unsettled matters.
We keep the highest good in mind
We understand that, in certain instances, confessing our unloving actions may not be the
highest good for all involved. Hence, we approach our amends with awareness.
Disclosure of past indiscretions that would implicate a third party or be insensitive to
another’s feelings are avoided. We consider carefully, for example, whether to approach
our mate about infidelity. Telling a child that we favor his or her brother is another
example of an act that may not have a healing effect on the relationship. Every course of
action we contemplate should be carefully evaluated.
Pretending is just imagination without faith. Creating is imagination with

faith. People who believe in their pretenses create them for real.
Harry Palmer
When a situation warrants, we can restore balance through appreciation and special
kindness without disclosing the guilt we seek to heal. We can give something to the
company from which we stole; we can do something nice for the child we shortchanged.
If such an action seems out of character or raises questions, we can perform it
anonymously. Sometimes the best way to make amends is to turn over a new leaf and
honor the relationship in question. If the intention in our Hearts is pure, the scales will
be balanced, and we will know the Unity, Freedom, and Bliss that is our Birthright.
Thinking is not the same as doing
Once we have made our list, we proceed from the Heart. We do not hesitate or concern
ourselves with thoughts of difficulty. This process is easy and simple. We make the
amends on our list without procrastinating.
We keep in mind that making our list is not the same as making amends. By the same
token, making amends to only one or two people does not take care of the
remainder of our list. Step Nine is not a thinking Step; it is an action Step.
We do what we can and trust the results
Many of the people we approach will respond to our openness with kindness and
receptivity, glad for the opportunity to release a painful aspect of the past. Our past
greed, blame, and jealousy have not created an environment conducive to positive
feelings. When we change this climate by making amends, we create a safe space
wherein others can change too.
The perfect you isn’t something you need to create, because God already
created it. The perfect you is the love within you.
Marianne Williamson
Not all our amends have a fairy-tale ending. Sometimes people are unwilling to release
their anger when we are repentant of our misdeeds. Others may need time and evidence
of our sincerity before they trust us again. In some cases, a relationship cannot be
restored in the way we want. We must remember that how others receive our amends is
not our concern. We do the best we can, and trust the Perfection of the moment.
Amends are for our own healing
The act of healing a mistake we have made supports us in transforming our lives. There
will be cases where we feel the need to make amends to an individual who is no longer
alive or who, in one way or another, has moved out of our lives. The fact that the person
is not available does not prevent us from healing the relationship. The place where we
experience relationships is in the Heart, and the Heart is always accessible.
There can be no transforming of darkness into light and of apathy into

movement without emotion.
Carl Jung
There are many ways to approach such a situation. One possible method is to write a
letter and then, if we are unable to determine where to send it, burn it. We can make
amends by proxy. For example, we can visit a stranger in a nursing home as amends for
neglecting one of our relatives. We can give a toy to a needy child as amends for
stealing from another when we were children. When the intention is sincere, the
specifics of our amends become apparent to us. The important point is to proceed boldly
and not use anonymity or symbolic substitutes to save our pride or maintain our
comfort.
Sincerity is crucial
Honesty is important. Any lack of sincerity on our part is communicated, at some level,
to those to whom we make our amends. This Step calls for patience, courage, and
persistence. With the strength gained from participating in Benestrophe, we are ready
for this Step.
We do not need to be totally repentant before making amends. The act of restitution is
often an important step in the process. We must, however, be sincere in our desire to
change. We can have no hidden agendas in working this Step. Sometimes the only
honest approach to making amends is to share the dilemma of being stuck in the
feelings we want to move through. Such willingness often gives rise to the miracle of
Love and results in the experience of healing.
When we harness the forces of harmony, joy, and love, we create success
and good fortune with effortless ease.
Deepak Chopra
Our ability to honor all beings begins with our ability to honor ourselves. If we choose,
we can experience most unpleasant beliefs about ourselves from a consciousness of self-
acceptance and forgiveness. Honesty forms the basis of this approach. The Love that
ego is unable to gain through manipulation and control flows naturally through us when
we accept ourselves.
We stay in the present when we’ve handled the past
The importance of making amends to our parents and our children cannot be overstated.
Such amends free us from the guilt of events that happened in the distant past. These
amends bring closure to issues in our lives that may have been left behind without being
resolved. Making amends releases pent-up feelings, allowing forgiveness to open
channels of Love as never before. Even when the incidents that sparked the feelings are
forgotten, lingering attitudes continue to flavor our experience of the world around us.
Amends to parents and children are among the most joyful to make, for as human
families are restored to Wholeness, human Hearts and our planet are healed.
There are two ways of spreading light, to be the candle or the mirror that
reflects it.
Edith Wharton
The effectiveness of this process does not require that our parents be alive or that our
children respond as we would hope. Making amends frees our sense of who we are that
has been trapped in the past. Having made restitution, we allow ourselves to go forward
into the present moment.
When we sincerely take these Steps, we cannot help but grow. The Fourth, Fifth,
Eighth, and Ninth Steps are ways to release the burdens of our past. They also give us
many valuable tools to be used on an ongoing basis whenever guilt, shame, anger, or
resentment creep into our lives. We take inventory and disclose our findings once in a
formal way-but we do so many times in an informal way. Step Nine is really an ongoing
process.
At various times throughout life, we act unkindly toward others. Aware of the power of
forgiveness and making amends, we rely on these two processes to reestablish harmony
and emotional stability whenever imbalance and fear enter into our relationships. Life is
like a garden: In order to get sweet fruit, we must weed, prune, water, and fertilize. The
Ninth Step, at first glance, could seem like painstaking work, but when we plant the
seeds of honesty and forgiveness, we reap a harvest of Unity, Freedom, and Bliss.
Having released shame and guilt, shared our mind’s most closely guarded secrets,
forgiven others for their misdeeds toward us, and demonstrated our willingness with
action, we have dissolved our negativity. We see that our unwillingness to let go of hurt
feelings was nothing more than a fear that trapped us in the past and blocked our
experience of Love.
What we see in our brothers, we strengthen in ourselves.

As we bring our relationships with others into balance, we notice a new sense of peace
in our Relationship with ourselves. Completing Step Nine brings us into an awareness
of the moment as never before.
STEP NINE
We make direct amends to people from

whom we have withheld Love, except
when to do so would harm ourselves or
others.
Share about a time when you made amends.
What have you learned from your past mistakes?
Give an example in which you chose not to make amends because doing so would harm
ourselves or others.
Has anyone ever made amends to you for something? How did they do so?
Share about an unusual course of action you took to atone for something you did.
Tell about a time when you withheld Love. How were your actions harmful to you?
We have a choice to withhold Love or to allow Love. In what ways have you chosen to
withhold Love? How might you allow Love instead?
Tell about something you’ve done for which you have not yet made amends.
Share about your most surprising experience while doing the Ninth Step.
How has making amends to another person helped to heal your life?
Talk about the importance of closure in your life.
Share about a situation in which making amends required you to be creative.
What do you lose by not making amends? How has making amends kept you from
making mistakes?
Give an instance in which you have treated someone unfairly. Have you made amends?
Share about how taking the Ninth Step has changed your life.
STEP TEN
When suffering surfaces, we breathe

into our feelings, relax, and merge into
the Perfection of the moment.
Having worked our way through the first nine steps, we have learned a lot about
ourselves. We have accepted responsibility for allowing fear to block Love in our lives,
have realized the value of Trust, and have made a commitment to surrender. We have
taken giant steps toward eliminating the guilt and shame that kept us locked in the past.
We have examined the way we live day-to-day and have made choices to replace
imbalance with health, abundance, and joy. Accepting the Unity, Freedom, and Bliss
that is our Birthright, we have expanded our view of relationships. We have begun the
process of forgiveness and have discovered the peace that comes with balancing our
past actions with a demonstration of Love.
Reviewing our experiences with each of the Steps, we make a list of the gains we have
made. Noting the ways in which our lives have been transformed, we acknowledge
ourselves for our courage and commitment to Love. We now prepare to take this
process to even deeper levels through increased Self-awareness.
Step Ten is a spot check. With the technique presented here, we can, at any moment,
shift from the experience of suffering to the experience of Bliss.
What we resist persists
Although we experience Life according to our deeply held beliefs, experience, itself, is
not about concepts or thoughts, but about feelings. We have all tried to talk ourselves
out of a negative space and know how difficult it is to willfully change a belief once that
belief is manifesting in our lives as suffering.
God has no son who does not suffer.

St. Augustine
The experience of suffering is not mental. When suffering surfaces, it involves the body
and the emotions. Suffering is not rational. While suffering often seems to be caused by
external circumstances, there is no direct correlation between what is happening in our
lives and the experience of suffering. We can seem to have everything and still live in a
painful reality of fear. Telling ourselves we should be happy does not make us so.
Resisting physical or emotional pain only prolongs our suffering.
Resistance often takes the form of denial. When unwanted feelings arise, we suppress
them, thinking denial will give us peace. The result is quite different. We end up
suppressing our aliveness and capacity for joy. We lose touch with our true nature, and
the emptiness inside intensifies our craving for anything that might ease the suffering.
What we resist, persists.
We feel it to heal it
Water is a universal symbol for our emotional nature. Feelings, by nature, are fluid. Any
negative feeling that seems static or unchanging signals resistance and suppression. The
purpose of a spot check is to help us become aware of what is happening within us at
any given moment. As we learn to open to our feelings, we are restored to our natural
state.
The point of power is always in the present moment.

Louise Hay
In order to release a negative feeling, we must first be willing to fully feel it and
honestly identify it. A lifetime of distraction and denial has distorted our emotional
reality. We frequently experience anger as depression, worry as stomach cramps, fear as
hostility. An upset at one person may get expressed as irritability toward another. A
desire for food or alcohol often masks a desire for Love.
In Step Ten we reverse our habitual tendency to turn away from uncomfortable feelings.
Instead, we turn toward them. We pay attention to where we are holding tension in our
bodies and get in touch with the Reality of the moment. We become willing to open to
the deep underlying feeling.
Negative feelings conceal a desire for approval or control
Approval and control are the primary addictions of humankind. Since an addiction can
never be satisfied, we cannot know peace until we confront our craving for approval and
control. A feeling like jealousy puts us in touch with a deeper feeling-perhaps fear or
grief. When we follow the fear or grief back even further to the craving for approval or
control, we get at the root of the matter.
The reason the desire for approval and control is so persistent is that it is a manifestation
of our deepest fears. Seeking approval is a way of avoiding our fear of unworthiness,
while the craving for control is a way of avoiding our fear of change and death. As long
as we continue to avoid these fears, we do not see that we are absolutely lovable,
completely safe and eternal.
Until we deal effectively with our craving for approval and control, we must deal with
the countless expressions of fear in our lives. These fears block our ability to know
Love. When our inner state is fearful, we do not resonate with Unity, Freedom, and
Bliss. Through fear, we attract circumstances that make separation, rather than Sacred
Relationship, seem to be what is Real. We think that striving for approval and control
will solve our problems. In fact, this striving is at the root of our suffering.
Release comes when we embrace Love now
Once we become aware of a feeling and we allow it, identify it, and get in touch with
whether it is an expression of the desire for approval or control, release is easy. We need
to first let go of the conditions our mind has placed upon peace. The mind tells us that
suffering must continue until we get the job, someone tells us we are wonderful, or
some other turn of events brings us what we want. When we succeed at our quest for
approval and control, the mind convinces us we have accomplished something. All we
have done, however, is put off suffering, while deepening our dependence upon what is
uncontrollable.
You are alive in this moment whether you like it or not; if you resist life,
you will be miserable and weak; if you surrender willingly to the challenge
of life, you will be happy and free.
Jim Leonard
The mind keeps us stuck. Release is not subject to anything but belief in the possibility
of release, willingness to release, and a suspension of tendencies to procrastinate The
time to release negative feelings is now! Once we become willing, we simply affirm, 'I
release this.' After practicing release for only a short time, the power of this process
becomes clear. When a critical word brings a pain in the stomach, we do not defend
ourselves, but simply allow awareness and willingness to bring us release. When a
mood swing makes us sad, we do not reach for a substance or distraction, but instead,
we get in touch with the feeling, the desire for approval and control, and let go. If some
of the feeling remains, we get in touch with it and repeat the process. There is nothing to
figure out, nothing to explain, nothing to fix. When we are willing to release suffering
and embrace Love, we do it now.
The only aspect of time that is eternal is now.

When in the grips of a powerful feeling, our mind churns crazily, jumping to all sorts of
bizarre conclusions that feed our emotional state. Once the feeling is released, we notice
a lifting of stress and a clarity of mind that allows us to take appropriate action. Tuning
into feelings and releasing them energizes us, allowing us to accomplish more in less
time. Interestingly, as we learn to release our desire for approval and control, we
actually experience more approval and have a greater sense of being in control of our
lives.
The breath is our ally
Breath is synonymous with Life. The breath provides oxygen, which sustains our
physical existence. The breath also is a source of prana, the Life force. This basic
process of identifying our feelings, acknowledging the desire for approval or control,
becoming willing to release that desire, and letting go of it is greatly enhanced by using
the breath to focus on the feeling. By using conscious breathing, the process is
intensified and speeded up.
When we inhale, if we hold the thought that we are filling ourselves with
prana or vital energy; and when we exhale that we are throwing off all
waste from the system, we cannot fail to be cleansed even by our ordinary
breathing.
Swami Paramananda
When we are in pain or fear, we tend to hold our breath and tense our muscles in
resistance to the experience we have labeled unpleasant. We lose our connection with
the moment and the feeling involved. We seek refuge in our heads. As our attention gets
drawn into the compulsive momentum of the mind, we berate ourselves, project
catastrophic consequences, plan out strategies and endlessly review our defenses.
The mind is similar to a drunken monkey running amuck. The need to control our
thoughts leads to a sense of frustration. By simply bringing our attention to the breath,
the breath brings us back to the moment, allowing us to enter the natural flow of our
feeling natures.
Our choices guide the process
Sighing is a means of releasing tension. When we intentionally perform a series of

connected sighs-that is, controlled inhales and uncontrolled exhales-we create a flow of
oxygen and prana throughout our bodies. Making the breath our focus takes us out of
our minds and into the moment. By breathing directly into a feeling or sensation that we
wish to release, we embrace the feeling, and resistance melts. As we use this technique
to move through the levels of feelings and desires, we ultimately come to the Love that
is our Reality.
While consciously breathing, we inhale and exhale either through the mouth or the nose
exclusively. We can choose to breathe more or less deeply. Taking in larger amounts of
air tends to intensify the experience; making the breath shallow, softens the experience.
We can breathe faster or slower. Slow breathing acts like a telescopic lens, helping us
focus on a particular sensation; faster breathing widens the angle of our experience. In
general, full, slow breaths bring patterns of energy into focussed awareness; fast
shallow breaths are used when the experience intensifies; and fast, full breathing helps
us stay conscious. We choose how to breathe in each situation.
Conscious breathing is the advanced science of converting resistance to

enthusiasm.
Jim Leonard
The important thing to remember is that, like a sigh, we only control the in-breath,
leaving the out-breath to occur naturally by itself. A forced or controlled exhale results
in the involuntary clenching of muscles, a condition known as tetany. While tetany is
not dangerous, it does not support releasing our feelings.
There are no grades for conscious breathing
In the course of a session of conscious breathing, the breath goes through many
changes. Our inner knowing guides us. The purpose of this technique is to support us in
fully feeling, identifying, and releasing the desire for approval or control. Performance
anxiety has no place. There is no wrong way to do conscious breathing. There are times,
however, especially when we are new to this technique, when we may find it helpful to
get coaching from someone trained in conscious breathing processes. These various
processes are known by such names as Rebirthing, Vivation, and Holotropic Breathing.
Such a person can support and guide us by keeping us focused and making
recommendations to move us more smoothly through resistance, while providing a
comforting presence. However, this technique is perfectly safe without professional
assistance. If the experience becomes too intense, we simply change the breath and
breathe through it.
Rebirthing is like a sacrament because you are partaking of the Holy Spirit.
Rebirthing is making love to God. It is God making love to you. That is what
rebirthing is to me.
Sondra Ray
There is great benefit in breathing with others. Some Benestrophe groups choose to hold
Saturday morning breathing meetings for this purpose. [Everyone lies comfortably on
the floor with pillow and blanket and breathes. The right music can also be helpful.]
Often, as feelings are released, energy expresses through laughter, tears, or other
sounds. Rather than being a distraction, the sounds we make help us get in touch with
what has been buried deep inside. What may sound like agony is really the joyful noise
of long-repressed energy breaking free. Once we become familiar with this technique,
there are interesting variations we can try. One favorite of cocreators of Benestrophe is
to sit in a circle and maintain circular breathing while making eye contact with one
another. Doing the technique in a tub of warm water or in a shallow pool of cool water
provides different experiences. We can breathe to different types of music or while
getting a massage. While setting aside an hour or more for a breathing session provides
the maximum experience, once we master the technique, we can use it anytime during
the day. As we stop periodically to do a few breaths, we find such spot checks help us
stay centered and in the moment.
Noble deeds and hot baths are the best cure for depression.
Dodie Smith
Each conscious breathing session is as unique as the moment in which we do it. Some
sessions are intense and others are peaceful. We remember there is no wrong way to
breathe consciously. This technique is more than a powerful support for releasing
negative feelings; the technique is a vehicle for Self-exploration. There is an infinite
vastness within each of us; we have only scratched the surface of our potential to
experience Love. As we learn to accept ourselves fully, the Love within us blossoms.
No matter how good Life gets, it can always get better.
Relaxation is the key to Self-acceptance
Life flows in an unending stream. There are bends in the stream and there are rocks.
There are high tides and low tides, places of calm and places where the water rushes.
There are places where the stream widens into a sea and places where it narrows to a
trickle. We can swim with the current or against it. We can cling to the rocks or trust
Life and simply let go. We can support those who flounder and learn from those who
have mastered swimming, or we can stubbornly seek our own way. But we cannot
change the nature of the stream.
Learning to relax and accept the flow of Life is an essential part of this Tenth-Step spot
check. Once we release our struggle and let go of resistance to what is, we find the
release of all our burdens come naturally. Relaxation always takes less effort than
contraction.
Transformation only occurs during relaxation.

Anton
When resistance to Life brings stress into our experience, we flounder. When we dive
too deeply into shallow water or pay no attention to rocks, we bump our heads. In the
same way, when we allow our lives to be guided by the reactive, compulsive mind, we
create suffering. Just as there are times when we should swim and times when floating
serves us best, there are things we can change and things we cannot. As we learn to use
conscious breathing as a spot check for deep relaxation, we learn to change what we
can.
Letting go of wanting, we let go of lack
There is nothing wrong with either approval or control. The problem comes when we
need them. By the act of craving, we actually drive away the experience we desire.
When we cling to a need for another’s approval, we rob ourselves of our own approval.
When we strive for control, we give energy to the feeling of being out of control.
Miracles happen all the time. When we relax, breathe deeply, and observe, we are able
to notice them. By surrendering to the Perfection of the moment, all of Life takes on a
miraculous quality.
Whatsoever I ask for or desire, believe I have it already and it shall be

given unto me.
Mark 11:24
As we learn relaxation and unconditional acceptance of what is, a miracle happens. We

experience both approval and control. When we find we do not need circumstances to
be any particular way, and we can use whatever situation in which we find ourselves to
advantage, we experience a Freedom that cannot be taken from us. Resistance, rather
than pain or change, is the cause of our suffering. When we let go of wanting things to
be different, we let go of lack and discover the Perfection of the moment.
What we gain through this process we take with us through Life. This spot check keeps
us in touch with an authentic experience of Life. The more we develop the skills of
breathing, relaxing, and releasing, the more receptive and aware we become. The
practice of Step Ten magnifies the healing process. Step Ten increases our ability to
apply what we learned in all of the other steps.
Even a happy life is not without a measure of darkness, and the word
‘happiness’ would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.
Carl Jung
We can only truly live in the moment. When fear takes us out of the moment, we
sacrifice a bit of Life, and we suffer. When we block our feelings, we get caught in the
web of our most deluded beliefs. When we live in the mind, rather than the Heart, we
trap ourselves in recurring patterns of negativity, and the resonance of those patterns,
rather than the resonance of Unity, Freedom, and Bliss works in our lives.
Living in the moment is its own reward. Being here now not only makes whatever we
are going through a positive experience, it creates an inner condition that attracts outer
conditions of peace, harmony, and joy. The process put forth in this Step, when
practiced as a way of Life, transforms separation, bondage, and fear into Unity,
Freedom, and Bliss.
STEP TEN
When suffering surfaces, we breathe into our feelings, relax, and merge into the
Perfection of the moment.
Laughter opens the door to relaxation. Share a story you’ve heard that you thought was
particularly funny.
What are some ways in which suffering surfaces in your life?
Share an experience that demonstrates how futile it is to try to talk yourself out of
suffering.
Share about how a belief you held manifested as suffering. How do you see that belief
now?
Share an experience that demonstrates the statement: 'We feel it to heal it.'
What have you learned about yourself through conscious breathing?
What particular fears have vanished through breathing consciously?
Share about times when you focus on your breathing.
Describe an experience you’ve had of merging into the Perfection of the moment.
Share about what helps you relax.
Tell about a time when you felt the need to take a deep breath.
Share an experience you’ve had in which you felt total relaxation.

Share about a time when you experienced the power of breath. How did that experience
benefit you?
Tell about an experience that demonstrates the power of letting go.
Share about a situation in your life that you would like to change. Describe a way that
you could change your attitude instead.
Describe how shifting your focus from head to Heart helped you turn a negative
experience into a positive one.
Share about a time when you used your breath to bring yourself into the present
moment.
Coming from your own experience, how would you define the word 'merge?'
Share about how the Tenth Step has changed your life.
STEP ELEVEN
We seek through prayer and meditation

to expand our conscious contact with
Love, asking only for inner guidance
and the courage to take action.
Benestrophe is a path of action. We meet in groups where we share our experiences, do

processes, and have fun. We dance, sing, play, and share healing touch. Trust in the
miracle of Love allows us to acknowledge fear’s illusion. When we surrender to the
mystery of Life, Love is the power to which we yield. When we live in gratitude and
experience Sacred Relationship with all that is, we humble ourselves before the Self-
organizing energy of Love.
Silence is the gateway to the Heart
What allows us to read these words is not just the letters within them, but the spaces
between them. Without the spaces, distinguishing one word from another would be
impossible, and our effort to read would be an exercise in confusion. So it is with our
lives. The body that is always active quickly burns out. The mind that is always noisy
leads us into chaos.
When I am truly alone, I’m one with all.
Brother David Steindl-Rast
In this bustling, noisy world, the nourishment we receive from silence cannot be
overestimated. Just as our bodies are fuelled by the food we eat and the air we breathe,
our minds require silence in order to find peace. Just as lack of nutritional food and
sufficient oxygen leave us physically weak and mentally impaired, constant inner
chatter causes us to lose touch with our center.
Stillness is the first requirement for manifesting your desires, because in

stillness lies your connection to the field of pure potentiality that can
orchestrate an infinity of details for you.
Deepak Chopra
Silence opens the gateway to the Heart. Silence brings the peace that awakens the inner
strength to bypass reaction and move to response. Unless we take the time to nurture
conscious contact with the Love that resides in our Heart, we lose our way. We forget
that the illusions of the mind, which tempt us into fear, pride, and judgment, are not
what they appear to be. When we turn inward in prayer and meditation, we find in
silence a steadiness that allows us to see Life anew.
Meditation leads to conscious contact with Love
Through the practice of meditation-the purposeful quieting of the mind-we gain skill at
withdrawing our focus from those external situations that clamor for our attention.
When we meditate, the hold of our conditioned thinking and feeling is loosened. We
observe the way our minds work, while breaking the sense of identity with ego that has
led us to experience our thoughts and feelings as who we are. In meditation, we touch a
vastness that no words can adequately describe.
Of all the ways we have at our disposal to get in touch with our Source, meditation is
perhaps the most easily accessible. For the purpose of seeing what is, meditation knows
no equal.
Meditation is like a big, broad-gauge train with a powerful engine, which

gradually lays down a track into the depths of our consciousness.
Eknath Easwaran
Through meditation, we contact Love in a new, purer way-not as a feeling evoked by

something or someone outside ourselves, but as an essence that is ever-present within
us. Just as practice in yoga, dance, swimming, or driving a car ultimately results in the
ability to do these activities with grace, practice at contacting the essence of Love
within us results in an expression of Love that is graceful. A quiet mind is a powerful
mind.
In the silence of the Self, we watch the mind at play

We begin meditation by assuming a comfortable position that allows our spine to be
straight. When we sit in meditation, we do so with the intention of detaching ourselves
from the ceaseless flow of ideas and dramas invented by the mind. Meditation involves
no force, but the gentle application of attention to a chosen focus.
Our focus can be the rising and falling of the breath, a sacred sound or mantra, or an
image or symbol. At first, we may be able to hold this focus for only a few seconds at a
time. That’s fine. The purpose of practice at the early stages is to observe how the mind
works and to experience ourselves as its observer. As we become more skillful, we enter
the silence with greater ease, and maintain our focus for longer periods of time.
I have known you all my life and I have called you by many different
names. I have called you mother and father and child. I have called you
lover. I have called you sun and flowers. I have called you my heart. But I
never, until this moment, called you Myself
Emmanuel
When the mind wanders, we neither suppress nor indulge our thoughts, but simply
acknowledge them as thinking and release them. In meditation, we treat the mind with
Love, seeing it not as an adversary to be conquered, but as a small child who has not yet
learned self-discipline. We do not empower our thoughts and desires by pursuing them
or seeking to deny or suppress them. Instead, we acknowledge them and return to our
chosen focus. Thoughts become like leaves flowing past us in a rapidly moving stream.
Meditation shows us that thoughts, themselves, have no power if we choose not to
identify with them.
Our conscious contact with Love banishes illusion
The more we meditate, the more we see that we have choice over our experience. When
our worldview is clouded by anxiety, depression, or dissatisfaction, seeking conscious
contact with Love through meditation soothes and centers us, allowing us to choose
what thoughts to embrace and what thoughts to release.
By beginning our day with a short meditation of about twenty minutes, we develop the
habit of Self-observation. As anger, doubt, fear, and desire arise in response to certain
conditions, we remember that the choice for both joy and suffering lies within us.
Conscious contact with Love dissolves our judgments and defenses. In this way,
meditation becomes more than a practice we do at a specific time in a specific way. It
becomes the state of mind from which we live our lives.
With frequency of practice, the mindfulness we experience when we sit in silence

carries over into daily living. We find that simply being aware of our choices allows us
to shift contexts, to move from fear to Love, from doubt to Trust, from pessimism to
optimism. As we get into the habit of reaching beyond fearful contexts to loving
contexts, we experience a sense of empowerment that has nothing to do with the desire
for control.
The power and authority which liberates us can only come from within
ourselves.
Anonymous
When desires arise in the course of our day, we can acknowledge them in the same way
we do when we sit in meditation. We can make the same choice as to whether to give
them further attention or to go on to other things. When aversion is experienced, we can
recognize it for what it is and invite Love to melt our resistance. When judgment enters
our mind, we can look within for the insight that returns us to a state of Love. When
fear, impatience or irritation come up, we can practice loving ourselves in their
presence. In this way, we become free of the mind’s illusions and the Heart’s Reality
guides us.
Prayer is meditation with a personal focus.
In meditation we quiet our thoughts and listen for the silence; in prayer, we express
what is in our Hearts. When we have troubles, confusions, needs, or desires, we can
offer them to the all-powerful Love within. Through prayer, we take the situations of
our lives from ego’s controlling grasp and turn them over to the wisdom of the Heart,
which trusts without condition. When we learn to pray, we learn that we are never alone
with our pain.
The purpose of prayer is to bring heaven and Earth together.

Marianne Williamson
Prayer is also a means to affirm that which we wish to remember, and a means by which
we offer our heartfelt Love and gratitude for a universe full of miracles and the life
through which to experience them.
While we pray for ourselves and others in times of need, prayer need not involve a
petition. Whenever we are in touch with Sacred Relationship, we are in a state of prayer.
Likewise, when we are in touch with Nature, we are living prayerfully. When our
relationship with Love becomes a constant awareness, prayer becomes a way of life.
We can pray while sitting, standing, walking, or driving. Posture is not important. The
reason prayer is traditionally associated with getting on one’s knees is that in prayer, we
become humble. In prayer we enter into Relationship with something beyond the scope
of our human mind. The empowerment we experience from such an alignment is unlike
the sense of power we accrue by virtue of our own efforts in the world.
What is prayer but the expansion of yourself into the living ether.
Kahlil Gibran
Some of us may resist humbling ourselves in this way. Perhaps we associate praying
with a religion we have rejected. Perhaps we see it as petitioning an external God that
our minds have outgrown along with Santa Clause and the Tooth Fairy. Perhaps we
would like to believe in the power of prayer, but simply cannot overcome our doubt.
These feelings are expressions of a mind clinging to the illusion of control.
Belief need not come first
Due to the belief we have in our technology and our experts, many people pray only as a
last resort, when fear or pain becomes unbearable. For some of us, the mind’s resources
must be exhausted and our own strength depleted before we can truly reach out to the
infinite Source of Love.
While belief in the effectiveness of what we are doing makes prayer more potent, such
belief is not a prerequisite to praying. All we need to do is suspend our active disbelief
enough to make a sincere effort. Prayer doesn’t always work in the way we think it
should-it is not like dropping coins of desire into a cosmic vending machine which then
instantly yields up precisely what we have ordered. Prayer, however, always does make
a big difference in our lives.
Without prayer, I should have been a lunatic long ago.

Mahatma Gandhi
Prayer has real power. Through it, we are healed on many levels. Anyone who prays
regularly can give evidence to support this. Actual research, conducted according to
strict scientific methods, has shown that prayer has statistically significant
ramifications. When we pray for ourselves, others, and our world, we are doing
something valid and Real.
We cannot truly know the power of prayer until we experience it for ourselves. A lack
of belief does not have to be an significant problem. Establishing a conscious contact
with Love provides us with an experience that supports Trust in prayer’s effectiveness.
We are divinely ignorant
When our prayer takes the form of petitioning, our petition is more effective if we ask
for the strength or wisdom to meet our challenges, rather than asking for the challenges
to be removed. We are not omniscient; our ideas about the solutions to our problems are
limited by our lack of knowledge. There is purpose in the circumstances of Life that we
cannot see. Thus, when our prayers get specific- when we pray for this particular job or
that precise outcome-we are assuming a knowledge far greater than we possess. We
should instead pray for the means to take care of our family, the guidance to find a
solution, or the release of our own anger, rather than dictate the terms we find
acceptable.
Pray not for a lighter load, but for stronger shoulders.

St. Augustine
There exists little difference between getting what we ask for and coming into peaceful
acceptance for not getting it. Invariably, what we seek is something intangible, such as
Trust, joy, serenity, fulfillment, courage, confidence, strength, or release from our
burdens. The other items we pray for are simply means or situations that we think will
bring these qualities or situations into our experience. But we never do know for sure
what outcomes our requests will have if they are granted. Love does know what the
outcomes will be; when we pray with this fact and this sense of humility in mind, we
open the door to infinite possibilities in our lives.
Daily practice opens us to inner guidance
The more we experience inner silence through these states, the clearer we become. By
making prayer and meditation an integral part of daily life, we make inner peace a daily
priority. We develop the habit of mindfulness, which brings us more fully into the
moment. We drain away the power from our conditioned reactions, enabling us to open
to the intuitive promptings of the Heart. Just a few minutes at the start of our day and at
bedtime makes a huge difference in our ability to stay centered and to remember Love.
The mind is a creature of habit. Training the mind is like training a pet. Establishing a
routine that it understands makes our practice easier. While we can pray and meditate at
any time and in any place, it is helpful in the beginning to set aside a specific time and
place for prayer and meditation.
If we always go to bed at 11:00PM, that is when we will feel sleepy. If we always eat
lunch at noon, that is when we will start to feel hunger. Likewise, if we meditate at the
same time each day, our mind and body will acclimate to that rhythm and respond to the
cues we give ourselves to relax and become quiet.
The world is not to be put in order, the world is order incarnate. It is for us
to put ourselves in unison with this order.
Henry Miller
First thing in the morning and last thing at night are the times that work best for many
of us because they do not require us to interrupt ongoing activities. However, a
housewife might choose a time right before the kids come home from school; a student
might choose a midmorning break; someone who works the night shift might choose
9:00 in the evening, just before they get ready to leave for the job. The time is a
personal matter.
We keep it simple
Meditating in a special place-a place we don’t use for reading or watching television-
helps because our minds come to associate this place with the experience of entering the
silence. Some of us choose to set up a small shrine to invoke the sense of a sacred
space. Many of us include a representation of planet Earth-a small globe, a marble
replica, a picture of Earth taken from space, or even a chunk of soil to remind us to pray
for more than our own individual concerns. Some of us have special pillows we sit on or
shawls we wear only for prayer and meditation. None of these things are essential, but
they can help set the mood.
Great compass ion is the root of all worship.
Dali Lama
We may choose to light a candle, burn incense, or hold a crystal to create a mindset that
we associate with meditation and prayer. We do what works, remembering that short,
simple, regular practice works better than elaborate rituals we won’t be able to maintain.
Simplicity is key because it protects our practice when we are busy and short on time,
allowing us to bring prayer and meditation into our lives when we need them most.
Devotion is a priceless treasure
Devotion is the emotional expression of our highest Self. The form our practice takes,
be it yoga postures, formal prayers, meditation, or ritualistic actions, is simply a
focusing devise and nothing more. If we keep this fact in mind, allowing a deep and
Heartfelt experience of Love to fill us, our practices will never be dry or difficult.
Whether our focus is the rising and falling of our chest as we breathe, a sacred mantra,
or something else, allowing that focus to be the vehicle through which we contact and
express Love makes our practice rich and powerful. Through discipline, we quiet the
mind, and through devotion we know the fullness of the Heart.
Only he who can make himself a servant is ready to receive so great a

thing as truth.
Sister Devamata
The Love we contact through prayer and meditation is not the same as the love we feel
for certain individuals with whom we have positive interpersonal relationships. Rather,
this Love is a Divine Love with no particular object-a Love that simply is. Whereas
human love can be explained, the devotion of divine Love defies justification.
In human love, our sense of special-ness is often strengthened. In devotion, we lose

sight of selfish desires and merge into the experience of ourselves as Love. This direct
experience of Oneness expands our sense of Love from exclusive to unconditional.
Losing ourselves in devotion to Love, Life, or whatever we choose to call it, our Hearts
open to the Perfection of all that is. When devotion fills us, we need little else.
We can be our own best friend
The mind seeks a cure for loneliness by searching outside ourselves. Even when we are
physically alone, our mind continues its chatter to whatever audience we have conjured
up for ourselves inside our heads. Often, such chatter is negative and reinforces that
which we do not want. If our prayer and meditation do not yield the peace we had
expected, we need only consider the percentage of time we spend in conscious contact
with Love versus the percentage spent engaged in limiting mental chatter.
Our desire for approval and control is the real source of loneliness. When we allow that
desire to consume us, it determines our actions. When we establish prayer and
meditation firmly within our lives, Love’s sustenance is ever available to us. Through it,
we establish a relationship with ourselves that is always there to guide and nurture us.
Our fears, angers, and resentments are robbed of the power to determine the course of
our lives. We discover a spaciousness that allows Love’s intuition to guide us.
Love guides us to a silent place
Guidance takes many forms. Some people experience intuition as a 'small voice.' Other
people experience it as a clear sense of knowingness. Sometimes it is strong, like a
hunch that bursts into the midst of whatever rational process is going on. At other times,
it is gentle-a quiet certainty about exactly what the next step should be. Sometimes
guidance arises as a tightening in our bodies that tells us to slow down, that there’s
something we’re missing. Occasionally, it propels us into the realm of symbolism,
where things noticed become omens that give inspiration, confirmation, or even
precognition.
The miracle comes quietly into the mind that stops an instant and is still.
The common denominator among all these expressions of intuition is non-rationality.

When we function intuitively, we bypass the normal, analytic reasoning process. There
is no weighing of factors, no sense of figuring things out. Knowingness is inexplicably
there.
Because of intuition, we need not fear the Heart’s giving away the store whenever the
mind is not vigilant. If we honor our intuitive wisdom, we never deplete ourselves with
giving or make self-destructive choices that go against our best interests. The Heart has
wisdom. The Heart is not mindless. It simply thinks intuitively.
Loving action is the Heart’s choice
Loving action often seems to make little sense in a world caught up in the illusion that
approval and control are supremely important. We experience numerous impulses to act
lovingly, but, too often., we squelch them because our minds are full of fear. The Heart
says yes! but the mind quickly drowns it out with a barrage of rationalizations for no!
Courage is fear that has said its prayers.

Anonymous
When we choose loving responses to unloving situations, we go against the grain of our
minds. Such actions are a clear demonstration of our own relinquishment of the need for
approval and control, our own choice to elevate Heart over mind. This takes courage.
When prayer and meditation open us to inner guidance, the courage to follow that
guidance comes also. Prayer and meditation alter our lives by altering our
consciousness. The mind makes choices based on self-serving fantasies that are often
fuelled by fear. The Heart, on the other hand, knows the Reality of Love. Prayer and
meditation show us Reality, and when we see Reality, we gain the courage to choose it.
Over and over in the course of these Steps, the phrase Benestrophe is being here now
has come up. With each Step, we open to a new dimension of the power contained
within this phrase. Meditation brings us into the essence of being here now, and being
here now, regardless of what is happening, brings the stillness of meditation into our
experience of Life.
The surest test if a man be sane is if he accepts life whole as it is.

Lao Tzu
Whenever we embrace the moment with awareness, we make our lives a prayer. When
we taste Life from a place of judgment and resistance, we choke on its contents; when
we sip deeply from Life’s cup, savoring the flavor in all situations and circumstances,
we are nourished beyond our wildest dreams.
Wholeheartedly embracing Step Eleven dramatically changes our perceptions of how

things are. Supporting whatever we do with prayer and meditation brings us deeply into
Truth. Through prayer and meditation, the part of ourselves that is limited and reactive
expands into something wondrous that is loving, giving, and unafraid. The spiritual
concepts and ideals we find attractive blossom into wisdom that guides us, serves us,
and gives us the courage to act with the Love required to turn catastrophe into
Benestrophe.
STEP ELEVEN
We seek through prayer and meditation to expand our conscious contact with Love,
asking only for inner guidance and the courage to take action.
Share about a time when you experienced the power of prayer. How did your intention
add to that experience?
Gratefulness is the heart of prayer. How has gratitude influenced your prayers?
Describe a time when you felt you were given inner guidance.
What role does silence play in your life?
What benefits have you received through meditation?
How does quieting your mind enhance your ability to make conscious choices about
your life?
What disciplines have had an impact on your practice of meditation?

Tell about a time when you felt empowered by prayer.
Contrast romantic love with spiritual Love.
Give an example of how your Heart has opened as a result of the process of expanding
your conscious contact with Love.
Tell about an insight that came to you during prayer or meditation.
What have you done to create a space in your life for prayer and meditation?
Share an experience that demonstrated Love’s guidance in your life.
How often do you meditate? Describe the processes you use.
Share about an instance when you took loving action.
Describe the difference between knowledge that comes from intuition and knowledge
that comes from the mind.
Share about an instance in which loving action required courage on your part.
Enlightenment is any insight that expands one’s consciousness beyond its present limits.
Give an example of an enlightenment you’ve had.
Happiness is the reflection of an open Heart. What role does meditation play in opening
your Heart?
Coming from your own experience, how would you define the phrase conscious
contact?
Share about how taking the Eleventh Step has changed your life.
STEP TWELVE
Awakening spiritually as a result of

these Steps, we gratefully share The
Vision of Benestrophe and teach Love
by the way we live. Sharing
Benestrophe is Benestrophe.
A state of Benestrophe becomes manifest when we accept ourselves exactly the way we
are. When we learn to dance in the Perfection of the moment, we discover a Reality that
empowers us with the experience of Wholeness and Love. Whenever we express this
new consciousness, we resonate with the very same Love in others. As we explore
spiritual principles and, ultimately, embrace them in our daily lives, we find that these
ideals, which our entire beings find attractive, have far-reaching results.
We are the message
An ancient aphorism states that we sit at the feet of the master not to receive his
knowledge but to watch him tie his shoes. Teaching Love by the way we live is not the
same as teaching Love from a podium. Words are a dim echo of wisdom’s teachings.
What we say, however wise it may be, has an extremely limited effect unless we also
back it up with the power of our consciousness and the integrity of our action.
An intellectual conception, no matter how big or how comforting it may

appear to be, will never support us really unless we have made it our own
through contemplation.
Swami Paramananda
While minds may play at word games and posturings, Hearts are not fooled. No matter
how carefully we prepare our presentation, who we are and how we are gets
communicated. Until we are at one with our words, actions, intentions, and
philosophies, we send mixed messages. If, on the other hand, we awaken to the blessing
of the moment and live with integrity and openness, the smallest of gestures becomes a
meaningful demonstration of the power of Love.
We are all teachers
In truth, we all teach by the way we live. The question is what do we teach? Is it Love,
Trust, compassion, and Wholeness, or fear, doubt, judgment, and separation? The
choice is ours to make over and over and over again.
To teach Love, we need not be perfect in the usual sense of the word. We need not be
recognized as a spiritual teacher. We need not be trained in facilitating groups or in
psychotherapy. We certainly do not need to have all the answers. To teach Love, we
need only to be rigorously honest with ourselves and be willing to live authentically
from the highest and best within us. When we work Step One through Step Eleven, Step
Twelve comes naturally.
We use everything for our spiritual awakening
In a very real way, the content of our lives, whatever it may be, becomes the curriculum
through which we learn and teach. Spiritual awakening shows us that all experience has
purpose and that only Love is Real. When we become able to accept ourselves and trust
Life, we inspire others to do the same. Teachers of Love are students of Life. By living
from the Heart, we naturally attune the mind to focus upon spirituality in all situations.
As we look at our lives, we see that mistakes, problems, and sorrows, were not failures,
but part of a Perfect unfoldment that has brought us to the place we now stand.
We should be grateful that difficulties come sometimes, because they test

our sincerity. They show us whether we are standing on the solid ground of
spiritual conviction.
Swami Paramananda
We become stronger at the broken places. From experiences that our egos label as
suffering, we learn compassion, patience, humility, kindness, and gratitude.
Circumstances we term as difficult ultimately push us to become more skilled, more
disciplined, more understanding, and more creative than we otherwise might be. From
the pain of our separation comes our yearning for Wholeness.
As we come to understand that living fully is a blissful experience in all circumstances,

we no longer have any need to cling to certain things, while trying to avoid others. We
no longer need to seek approval or strive for control. As the miracle of Love dawns in
our Hearts, the routine stuff of daily life appears wondrous. We come to experience the
Perfection of the moment in everything we do. By letting go of fear and honoring the
potential in each situation to awaken us more fully, we touch the Truth that aligns our
lives with Love.
We keep Benestrophe alive by giving it away
Who gives? Who receives? For the mind caught up in the illusion of separation, these
questions are valid. To the Heart, such questions are nonexistent. The mind has many
issues around giving. Are we giving enough or too much? Is our giving appreciated? Is
it doing any good? The mind wants specific answers and certainty about giving. It wants
credit, approval, and most of all, control.
Who can distinguish the giver from the receiver in the final kiss of
gratitude?
David Steindl-Rast
The Heart has no such issues. When freed from the fears of the mind, the Heart opens
naturally to other Hearts; and where hearts meet, giving and receiving merge into
Sacred Relationship. When we give from our Hearts, we discover that there is no real
distinction between giving and receiving, that giving and receiving are different aspects
of a single act, not unlike breathing out and breathing in.
Self-centeredness is the opposite of Self-love. As long as we live for self alone, there is
emptiness, unhappiness and hunger. As working these steps alters our perspective on
giving and receiving, we begin to understand that the full Heart cannot be contained any
more than the sun can stop shining. When we experience the turning toward the good
we term Benestrophe, we find such joy is unlike money, power, status, security and all
the other things we have sought to obtain and hold.
Unlike these other things, we cannot secure Benestrophe for ourselves at another’s
expense, nor can we hoard it to tide us over in an emergency. We cannot achieve it by
fraudulent means, nor by competition. We cannot increase Benestrophe through
investing it in carefully chosen ways. Once we create the experience of Benestrophe in
our lives, maintaining it requires that we offer Love without reservation. As we awaken
spiritually, our gratitude for what we have been given results in a longing to make a
positive difference in the world.
Our gratitude knows no bounds
A moment does not pass when we are not giving and receiving in some way. Life
constantly pours its bounty upon us through innumerable blessings of both delight and
challenge. As we increasingly experience Oneness with all that is, we become more and
more able to gracefully express the Love that defines our Wholeness.
As we work these Steps, we begin to experience miracles. We taste freedom and joy,
serenity and empowerment. Where once there was loneliness and alienation, we
discover a kinship with all of Life. Where once we strived to overcome our
insignificance, we begin to rest easily within our own Perfection. The pain, fear, and
confusion that once brought recoil and suffering now stimulate us to delve deeply into
our Selves.
Grace is received in the chalice of gratitude.

Yogi Amrit Desai
A consciousness of gratitude leads us quite effortlessly to a way of being that teaches

Love. In the beginning, we are grateful for specific things, but as our experience of this
sacred space matures, we discover that gratitude can be our unconditional response to
Life. As we open our Hearts in gratitude for what is, we know Life as an adventure.
Beauty is everywhere. We can look at suffering and see courage, can look at struggle
and see heroism, and can look at disappointment and see opportunity. The moments of
simplicity and the moments of grandeur are equally filled with Life, and we are a part of
it all!
We gratefully share The Vision of Benestrophe
Trusting Life, we surrender fear and open our Hearts to the miracles that surround us in
every moment. Gratitude fills us and, being filled, we are drawn to give back in
whatever way is appropriate to the moment.
The only thing we have to give is our Love. Simple kindness is a strong spiritual
practice. Offering a reassuring touch, taking the time to listen from the Heart, being a
calm presence in the midst of chaos, allowing another to touch our need, making a
stranger feel welcome, and seeing the Wholeness in others despite fearful minds or
broken bodies, are only some of the ways that every one of us can express gratitude on a
daily basis.
We work on ourselves in order to help others, but also we help others in
order to work on ourselves.
Pema Chodron
We also give when we bring balance and harmony into our lives. Consistently honoring
the environment; eating wholesome foods and caring for our bodies; being willing to
forgive, taking responsibility, and being rigorously honest are Life affirming ways in
which we express our gratitude. Our discipline, enthusiasm, reverence, and humility are
all gifts of inspiration we offer to others by simply living consciously. Our inner work is
also service, for as we break free of our masks and resistance, we become available to
others in a way that transcends the results of specific acts. As we meditate and pray, we
add to the resonant energy of peace present in the world. By sharing The Vision of
Benestrophe, we contribute to the critical mass of Love-Energy that is now transforming
our planet and our lives.
We envision a global community of peace and prosperity
We have come to understand that, by accepting the fact of our Perfection, our lives are
transformed in radical ways. We experience how our belief in the inevitability of fearful
and negative realities supports the manifestation of those realities. We have learned to
deal with the immediacy of the moment while affirming what can be.
As we apply the principles presented in these Steps to ourselves, our lives shift from
fear-based to Love-based. Our personal relationships become clearer. Our experience
with Benestrophe shows us that these principles work to create Unity within diversity.
Applying them in the world at large is no different.
Every individual is an expression of the whole realm of nature, a unique

action of the total Universe.
Alan Watts
The earth is populated by human beings who are just like us in all essential ways:
people who yearn for love, acceptance, safety, health, prosperity, and freedom; people
whose fear and negativity create something else too much of the time. We have all felt
victimized and have misused power; we have all been hurt and have hurt others by our
anger and insensitive behavior. We have also learned that those experiences in no way
define who we are. The compassion we experience for ourselves becomes the basis for
universal compassion; Self-love forges our connection with all of humankind. Our Trust
in Life allows us to boldly hold onto our vision as Love forges our lives into vehicles
for its expression.
We teach love by the way we live
As we let go of fear, we replace the perspective that views differences with suspicion,
that tells us the best defense is a good offense, that equates prosperity with waste, power
with control. Our lives reflect the Reality that true winning happens when there are no
losers. As we integrate our spiritual practices into our daily lives, we bring kindness into
the family and workplace, onto the highway, and into our Relationship with the
environment. By experiencing Love and living it, we offer inspiration for those whose
lives are still run by fear, and we give support to those who already share our vision.
Teach only love for that is what you are.

Our ability to Love goes hand in hand with our ability to trust. The kind of courage we
found in taking the Steps of self- inventory and disclosure are necessary to carry our
Light into a world of darkness. Loving Life shifts our personal destiny from catastrophe
to Benestrophe, and shows us what is possible in the world. As enough of us begin to
claim our Freedom from suffering and negativity, we experience a shift in
consciousness on a grand scale as our schools, businesses, and political institutions
begin to respond to the proliferation of kindness within the Hearts of all individuals. We
teach Love by the way we live because Love is the only thing that makes sense.
We chop wood and carry water
Following these Steps changes our lives profoundly, and yet life remains the same. We
still have dishes to wash, carpets to vacuum, and traffic to negotiate. We still get sick
and have problems. We still have challenges in our relationships with one another.
Before enlightenment, we chop wood and carry water; after enlightenment, we chop
wood and carry water. But, there is a difference.
My life is my message.
Mahatma Gandhi
Self-acceptance, surrender, and forgiveness open the door to the moment. When we
walk through that door, we open to whatever Life brings and stand in awe and gratitude
before the mystery. When we no longer feel the need to judge, our lives are no longer
filled with the conditions that judgment creates. We may do the same things we have
always done, but we are different. Whatever guises our aims and goals take, we have an
overriding purpose, which is Love.
Sharing Benestrophe is Benestrophe
As part of the expression of our purpose, we share The Vision of Benestrophe with
others we know. The power in the Twelve Steps is multiplied exponentially within a
community of equals joyfully discovering Unity within diversity. Sharing our process of
Benestrophe allows us to teach what we most need to learn. No matter how enthusiastic
we are, we respect the principle of anonymity, and we do not proselytize. In the Twelfth
Step, we allow the joy, gratitude, serenity, and peace radiating through us to attract
others to our celebration of Life. We trust our Hearts to tell us when it is appropriate to
invite someone to attend one of our Benestrophe meetings or when to share our
experience of Benestrophe with those who might be open to joining the process.
Love calls for open arms. With arms open, you allow love to come and go
as it wills, freely, where it will do so anyway. If you close your arms about
love, you’ll find you are left only holding yourself
Leo Buscaglia
Our commitment to live these Twelve Steps means that everyone who comes into
contact with us automatically comes into contact with Benestrophe. Our own experience
with this dance has taught us that the moment can be trusted, that we do not need to
manipulate or control anyone to make things come out right. We can rely on
synchronicity to bring the perfect people to Benestrophe at the perfect time. All we need
to do to spread Benestrophe is make ourselves available and listen to our intuitive voice.
Benestrophe is a universal path
Benestrophe is not the only path to Wholeness. Benestrophe is not in competition with
other paths. Benestrophe is merely one way of many to arrive at the same place. There
are many spiritual paths that take us to the mountaintop; Benestrophe is one such path.
For some, Benestrophe constitutes a primary spiritual approach; but others choose to be
involved in various other teachings-Judaism, Christianity, Shamanism, Eastern or New
Age traditions. Because Benestrophe relies upon spiritual principles that are universal, it
does not contradict other traditions, nor does it seek to gain converts for itself. Rather,
the Benestrophe movement is designed to be a place where those traveling on many
paths can meet and share.
We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual

beings having a human experience.
Teilhard de Chard in
The Twelve Steps can be used to accelerate any spiritual practice. Some groups choose
to focus on a particular path, such as bodywork, service, or conscious breathing. Many
groups leave the focus open. Whatever the focus, at the core of Benestrophe is each
individual’s experience of Life and the world around them. This experience, not a
particular philosophy or dogma, makes Benestrophe universal.
To awaken spiritually means to live fully in the awareness of each moment, to

experience Life from the Perfection of the moment. Benestrophe is no more
complicated than that. By letting go of the fear that blocks our experience of Love, we
automatically let go of everything that hampers our ability to be here now.
The path of Benestrophe is a path of acceptance. We accept what is. What is, is Love.
Each of these Twelve Steps is about learning to Love, about learning to trust and to
surrender. To do this, we do not need to do anything special or be anyone other than we
are. We do not need to wait until our lives get less chaotic, our kids get back in school,
or our company leaves. We teach Love simply by living fully in the moment. By our
willingness to live openly and without our defenses, we gratefully carry the message of
Unity, Freedom, and Bliss to a world that yearns for Wholeness. As our minds and
Hearts join forces, we discover the powerful Truth in the phrase,
TOPICS OF DISCUSSION
STEP TWELVE
Awakening spiritually as a result of these Steps, we gratefully share The Vision of
Benestrophe and teach Love by the way we live. Sharing Benestrophe is Benestrophe.
How do we know when to share Benestrophe?
Share about your spiritual awakening since you have been working these Steps.
We teach Love by the way we live. Share about what you have learned from the
example of others.
Give an example of a time when someone taught you something about Love by the way
he or she lived. What did you learn from that experience?
What truth have you learned that you would like to share with everyone?
Share your experience about the small, heartfelt gestures that demonstrate the power of
Love.
How has working these Steps led you to live more authentically?
What is your favorite passage in The Vision of Benestrophe? What does The Vision
mean to you?
Tell about an instance when you shared something and the results were positive.
In the process of your spiritual awakening, what is something you have let go of?
In the process of your spiritual awakening, what is something new you have
discovered?
Share about a challenging situation in which you responded with Love, courage, or
optimism.
What ideas have others shared with you that you feel have helped you in one way or
another?
Tell about an instance of sharing Benestrophe.
What hopes do you have for the future of our world?

Which of these Steps was the most challenging to you? What did you gain from taking
it?
Share about how taking the Twelfth Step has changed your life.
THE TWELVE TRADITIONS

The Twelve Traditions of Benestrophe hold our fellowship together.
They give substance to our common purpose by guiding us in
making decisions that protect the unique character of our
fellowship. Whenever a problem arises, we look to these Twelve
Traditions to find a solution that is best for all.
Tradition One
Our common welfare comes first; individual and planetary healing
emerge from Sacred Relationship.
Our First Tradition reminds us that we are One, and that our
common welfare takes precedence over everything else regarding
our fellowship. We recognize the equality of all individuals and
honor the unique contribution of each person as essential to the
functioning of the Whole. Affirming our interdependence, we
balance self-interest with common good. Our Traditions serve as a
useful and practical guide on how to conduct the affairs of
Benestrophe groups (as well as our individual lives) in a manner
that reflects the greatest possible integrity and reverence for all
Life. At all times, Sacred Relationship guides us toward our goal of
Unity, Freedom, and Bliss.
Tradition Two
Our ultimate authority rests in the power of Love as expressed by
the consciousness of the group. Sponsors of Benestrophe groups
are trusted servants; they do not govern.
A Benestrophe group is formed by a sponsor who determines the

time and location of meetings. Groups may be of any size, either
open to the public or private. Groups may meet for any length of
time and any number of times. In some groups the sponsor
conducts the meetings and performs the related tasks. In other
groups the sponsor appoints someone to chair the meetings,
facilitate group processes, or serve the group in other capacities.
All members of a Benestrophe group are equal. The sponsor

assumes no authority to impose his or her personal views on
anyone. The function of the sponsor is to serve, not to control or
govern. Group sponsors have broad latitude in determining the
size, orientation, format, and activities. The sponsor is a trusted
servant, with a largely administrative role. As we come together in
community, everyone supports everyone else. Sponsors never have
the right to discipline anyone or insist that anyone participate in
any particular way.
Benestrophe has no hierarchy of control. No matter how strongly

anyone feels about what is the right way to do anything, they have
no authority to impose their views on anyone else. When conflicts
arise, we honor the Wholeness of Relationship and seek a win-win
situation. Ultimate authority always rests in the power of Love as
expressed by the consciousness of the group.
There is no such thing as individual authority in Benestrophe.

Group decisions are arrived at through mutual agreement, reached
after all elements of a problem have been considered. The fact that
we are equals encourages us to take an active part in the activities
of our fellowship, always with the purpose of serving and helping,
never of controlling.
Tradition Three
The only requirement for belonging to Benestrophe is the yearning
for Wholeness.
The Twelve Steps of Benestrophe are a simple yet dependable

process for healing relationships. At the heart of Benestrophe is
the notion that all things are sacred parts of a Perfect and
purposeful Whole. When we believe in separateness, we live at the
mercy of fear, craving, and attachment. When we resonate with
Unity, Freedom, and Bliss, we live in Love.
The yearning for Wholeness is the Heart’s call for Love. Without
this fundamental yearning, we remain unwilling to relinquish our
addiction to approval and control. When we recognize our worldly
cravings as a distortion of our inner yearning for Wholeness, we
embrace the higher consciousness of Love.
The yearning for Wholeness excludes no one. Everyone is included

since everyone has this yearning. Every person meets the
minimum requirement for belonging to Benestrophe; the only
question is whether or not a person is willing to acknowledge their
yearning. In every case, the choice is ours alone.
The creative process begins with choice. We join Benestrophe by so

declaring. No vows are required. There is nothing to sign. We, of
our own free will, acknowledge our yearning for Wholeness. In so
doing, we become an active participant in the process of healing.
Tradition Four
Each Benestrophe group is autonomous, except in matters
affecting other groups or the fellowship as a whole.
This Tradition deals with Freedom. Each sponsor is free to choose

the particulars regarding the group’s meetings. This includes
matters such as when and where to meet and how the various
funds will be apportioned. This freedom, however, also carries with
it a responsibility for preserving the Unity and effectiveness of
Benestrophe throughout the world.
Freedom and responsibility go hand in hand. Each group is both

free to choose its own course and is responsible for its relationship
to other groups and the Benestrophe community as a whole. Every
group considers carefully whether any proposed activity affects
other groups or the fellowship of groups. If another group may
somehow be affected, then all concerned are consulted before a
decision to act is made. Benestrophe groups meet their own
specific needs, while refraining from any action that might harm
others.
Individual groups maintain no linkage of finance or control with

each other, Benestrophe Central, or any other organization.
Neither Benestrophe. Central, the Benestrophe fellowship, nor any
Benestrophe group is affiliated with any nation, state, political
party, religion, organization, or institution.
Benestrophe Central serves a communication function among

Benestrophe groups. It does not monitor or endorse the content of
meetings or other activities engaged in under the auspices of
Benestrophe. Each Benestrophe group has sole responsibility for
any exposure to liability; Benestrophe Central assumes none.
Tradition Five
Our primary purpose is to teach Love by the way we live. We
remember our common purpose by reading aloud The Vision of
Benestrophe whenever we meet.
The Vision of Benestrophe, containing our Twelve Steps and Twelve
Traditions, guides us in our daily lives. When we align with this
Vision, we resonate with Unity, Freedom and Bliss. To manifest
unconditional Love we teach Love by the way we live.
Teaching Love by the way we live makes a distinction between

guidance and advice. Guidance comes through sharing and
listening with the Heart. Guidance does not impose a decision on
someone or dictate a course of action. The use of this Tradition
can prevent one member from assuming authority over another.
Teaching Love by the way we live means creating a sacred space

where people feel safe to share their deepest and most painful
secrets. Gossip, for example, destroys trust and distracts us from
sharing our feelings. We guard against anything that stifles our
self-expression and limits our willingness to experience the healing
power of Love.
We teach Love by the way we live to bring about the transformation

of consciousness beginning with the individual and ultimately
extending to the entire world. Through the practice of Sacred
Touch and the vehicle of Sacred Relationship, we transform
separation and fear into Wholeness and Love.
Our common focus is essential to our effectiveness, and is

maintained in the face of great diversity through our reading of
The Vision of Benestrophe every time we meet. It is the
responsibility of the group sponsor to make certain that each
participant gets a copy of The Vision at each meeting. Whenever
possible, members should take turns reading The Vision around the
circle, with each person reading a paragraph aloud until the entire
Vision has been read. While this is happening, each participant
reads along silently as The Vision is read aloud.
Tradition Six
We protect Benestrophe by using the name''Benestrophe'' only as
approved by Benestrophe Central.
Our Sixth Tradition clarifies the use of the registered service mark
Benestrophe. Benestrophe Central registered the word
“Benestrophe” as a service mark. The term ''Benestrophe'' must be
applied only to that which aligns with our Twelve Steps and The
Vision of Benestrophe. It is illegal for anyone to apply this word to
a commercial enterprise without the express written permission of
Benestrophe Central.
Benestrophe Relationships are spiritual in nature. Buildings,

meeting places and facilities used by Benestrophe groups are not
themselves called Benestrophe. Products may not use Benestrophe
as a label or a brand name without prior approval of Benestrophe
Central.
Tradition Seven
Each Benestrophe group is self-supporting.
At present, and for as far into the future as we can see, Benestrophe and
Benestrophe Central is strictly non-profit, donations appreciated but not
required. Enjoy Benestrophe and your Benestrophe Group. Please keep us
informed of your progress but don't send money. Thanks
Rev. David E. Howell
Sponsors set dues or take voluntary contributions. The use of these

funds is at the discretion of the sponsor. The sponsor is
responsible for complying with all applicable local, state, and
federal laws. Any fees or taxes are the responsibility of the group
sponsor.
Benestrophe Central supplies services to all Benestrophe groups.

Benestrophe Central disseminates useful information gathered
from throughout the fellowship. Benestrophe Central supports all
affiliated groups as a central clearing house for ideas. The primary
function of Benestrophe Central is to facilitate our work together
as we bring about the transformation of consciousness on our
planet.
In return for these services, the sponsor of each group agrees to

contribute to Benestrophe Central ten percent of group revenue.
This amount should be forwarded to Benestrophe Central on a
monthly basis. The interests of each Benestrophe group and the
entire Benestrophe fellowship as a whole are served by honoring
this financial commitment to Benestrophe Central.
Tradition Eight
Gratitude, rather than financial gain, guides our participation in
Benestrophe.
Our Eighth Tradition emphasizes that service rather than profit is

the primary motivation for participation in Benestrophe. Our
primary focus is, at all times, spiritual rather than material.
Motivation by money, control, or prestige has no place in the

Benestrophe fellowship. Benestrophe sponsors and members are
free to pursue any profit-making activities they wish, and
individuals are encouraged to become entrepreneurs if they are so
inclined. However, the profit motive is never the primary
motivating factor when participating in Benestrophe. The spirit of
gratitude and the sincere desire to share our fellowship with others
is always the primary motivation behind our activities.
This tradition does not give us license to judge the motivations of

others. We can only evaluate that which is in our own Heart. When
examining our own motivations, The Twelve Steps of Benestrophe
are a reliable source of guidance.
Tradition Nine
Benestrophe maintains the minimum amount of structure
necessary for the transformation of individual and planetary
consciousness.
Our Ninth Tradition defines the structural relationship between

members and groups, and between groups and Benestrophe
Central. Too much structure diverts our attention from our
primary purpose by making us rigid and depriving us of needed
spontaneity. Too little structure, on the other hand, makes us
ineffective by creating uncertainty and chaos. Whenever possible,
structure is minimized to favor the Self-organizing power of Love.
Flexibility is maintained in all matters, including the format of
group meetings.
Benestrophe groups have the freedom to create committees with

clearly defined functions and responsibilities. These committees
meet often enough to conduct business efficiently.
Benestrophe has no hierarchy of control. When everyone supports

everyone else, the harmonious participation of the fellowship
creates the healing miracle of Love. All interactions between
Benestrophe Central, Benestrophe sponsors, and Benestrophe
members are guided by the spirit of Trust.
Tradition Ten
No one speaks for Benestrophe; The Vision of Benestrophe speaks
for itself.
Our Tenth Tradition establishes The Vision of Benestrophe as our

source of guidance. Benestrophe groups take no positions on
outside issues. This policy prevents the Benestrophe name from
ever being drawn into public controversy. The Tenth Tradition is
intended to protect the Benestrophe name, not limit our freedom
to express a position on any issue. However, when speaking in
public, members take care not to express opinions in such a way as
to implicate Benestrophe.
Guided by The Vision of Benestrophe and these Twelve Traditions,
members are free to do whatever they wish in their groups.
Through exploration, we gain wisdom. By living The Twelve Steps
of Benestrophe, we create planetary change through the
transformation of individual consciousness.
Members entrusted with responsibilities never use their

Benestrophe roles as titles, either within the group or in public.
This requirement emphasizes that no one person speaks for
Benestrophe; The Vision of Benestrophe speaks for itself.
Newcomers who want to know specifics regarding the principles of
Benestrophe are referred to The Vision of Benestrophe.
Rather than a crusade to force specific solutions on global

problems, Benestrophe creates subtle change in the world through
the continued evolution of our own consciousness. By living The
Twelve Steps of Benestrophe, our Hearts open and we bring forth
change in the world through the interconnectedness inherent in all
living consciousness.
Tradition Eleven
As the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, anonymity fosters
humility, ever reminding us to place principle above personality,
cooperation above competition, and take our guidance from Love.
Our Eleventh Tradition establishes the principle of anonymity.

Because the essence of the Benestrophe experience is letting go of
ego, anonymity is a fundamental element of our spiritual path.
The Tradition of anonymity applies only to our relationship with

the media. Within a particular group, members are allowed to
reveal their names if they care to. This tradition forbids us from
using our full name in association with Benestrophe in a public
manner. For example, if we are talking about Benestrophe on a
radio or television program, we must do so while maintaining
anonymity. Facilitators at intensives cannot be identified by full
name in advertising for the event.
We attract others by the Love we radiate. We carry the message

wherever our intuition and common sense tell us we should.
Personal ambition has no place in the Benestrophe fellowship. We
publicize our principles, not the individuals who belong to
Benestrophe. We maintain anonymity at the level of press, movies,
radio, television, computer transmissions, and the Internet. As
members of Benestrophe, we honor this tradition of anonymity to
the best of our ability.
By honoring our Eleventh Tradition, we foster humility, sacrificing
our personal ambition for the common good of the fellowship. The
humility we know through letting go of craving for approval and
control is the spiritual essence of anonymity.
With this Tradition, we are reminded to respect confidentiality in

all sharing. The chairperson at meetings reminds the participants
that sharing in Benestrophe is confidential.
Humility recognizes the uniqueness of individuals. Releasing the

desire for approval and control is the substance of humility Unity
and selfless service are expressions of humility in action. With this
Tradition, we are reminded that humility is our safeguard and that
we each serve as a guardian of our healing community.
Whenever faced with uncertainty regarding the practical

application of any of The Traditions, we go within, ask for
knowledge of the highest good for all concerned, and trust the
answer that comes from the Heart.
Tradition Twelve
The Benestrophe fellowship allows for change, if change becomes
necessary.
We do not live in a static universe. The Twelfth Tradition allows us

to be responsive to our evolving world. This Tradition establishes
the mechanism through which changes, if any, may be
implemented.
From time to time, Benestrophe Central may wish to amend or

revise The Vision of Benestrophe, the Twelve Steps, the Twelve
Traditions, or any other aspect of the fellowship. In considering
changes, Benestrophe Central welcomes input from all groups and
their members. Benestrophe Central takes into consideration
feedback it receives from all sources. In return, groups and
members entrust Benestrophe Central with the ultimate decision-
making authority in matters having to do with changes.
Any proposed changes are given consideration for a significant

period of time prior to being approved or rejected. Once approved,
changes are published and are put into effect. This procedure
affords that all proposed changes receive a sufficient period of time
for consideration prior to being approved or rejected.
Benestrophe groups and members are ever vigilant to insure that

the essential message of The Vision of Benestrophe remains intact.
Any proposed changes are carefully evaluated in accordance with
our purpose-to teach Love by the way we live. By accepting change
when change is necessary, we surrender to the Perfection of the
moment.
BENESTROPHE MEETINGS
We participate in Benestrophe meetings to heal ourselves and to support others in
healing themselves. The process of coming together is the means by which we heal the
pain of separation. By gathering regularly with other co-creators of Benestrophe, we
experience the healing miracle of Love.
Our meetings are where the magic of Benestrophe happens. That is where we literally
transform separation and fear into Wholeness and Love. The purpose of Benestrophe
meetings is to allow co-creators of Benestrophe to share with one another effective
ways to work the Twelve Steps of Benestrophe.
The remainder of this chapter contains a number of suggestions regarding the specifics
of starting a group and conducting meetings. These suggestions, although optional, are
based on processes that Benestrophe groups have used that have been effective.
Sharing Benestrophe is Benestrophe. When we introduce others to the joy and benefit of
participation in Benestrophe meetings, we are not only enhancing our own experience,
but speeding the transformation of consciousness on a global scale. The desire to heal
our planet one Heart at a time is the essential motivating factor in forming groups and
facilitating meetings. Initiating a Benestrophe gathering of two or more individuals is
one of the most creative activities a person can perform. The positive rewards of doing
so reach into every aspect of life. Sacred Relationship and Sacred Touch are
experienced firsthand at Benestrophe meetings.
We share experience, strength and Sacred Touch
Benestrophe meetings provide a space where we step outside the pressures of everyday
life and strengthen ourselves by sharing our vulnerability with others. Through these
gatherings, we experience emotional support and joyful interaction.
We cannot overcome the fearful conditioning of the mind without support. Participation
in Benestrophe meetings is an important element in the commitment to transform our
lives. Alone, we easily get caught up in struggles and obligations. By ourselves, we
easily forget that Life is a Perfect expression of the Universe and meant to be enjoyed.
Benestrophe meetings allow us to directly experience our Oneness with other
individuals who share our vision. Through the art of Sacred Touch and the vehicle of
Sacred Relationship, we leave behind the pain of separation and venture forth into a
lifetime of healing, fun and fulfillment.
There are two primary aspects to consider when discussing the subject of Benestrophe
meetings. The first involves how to start a group. This includes matters such as securing
a meeting place, announcing your group to the community, and attracting people to
meetings. The second aspect involves conducting the meetings themselves. This
includes matters such as establishing the format and facilitating the processes. Both of
these aspects are discussed in detail in the remainder of this chapter.
Benestrophe groups are formed by sponsors
Starting a Benestrophe group is easy. Anyone can do it. All you need is a place to gather
and the desire to begin. Groups are usually launched by nothing more than someone
inviting a small circle of friends to get together and read The Vision of Benestrophe.
Benestrophe meetings offer an easy way to heal ourselves and to assist others in healing
themselves. The word sponsor defines the person who takes responsibility for creating
and maintaining the group. How this responsibility is administered varies widely. The
sponsor determines the content of the meetings and may serve as the primary facilitator
if he or she desires. Although the facilitator of a meeting can change from time to time,
the sponsor retains ultimate responsibility for the organization and functioning of the
group and its meetings.
Let’s say you want to sponsor a new Benestrophe group. No forms or paperwork are
required. Once you are clear about your intention for the group, you simply declare that
the group exists and proceed to organize the particulars. The moment you begin, you are
the sponsor of the group.
Pick a name and meeting place for the group
The first task is to name your group. Any name that aligns with your focus will do. For
example, you might call your group the 'We Are One Benestrophe Group', the 'Children
of Light Benestrophe Group', the 'IAMUS Benestrophe Group,' or the 'Anonymous
Angels of Benestrophe Group.' Keep the name of the group impersonal by not including
anyone’s name in it.
A suitable meeting place should be secured. There are two categories of meeting places:
public and private. A public meeting place is any location within a public building or
facility. This could be a church, school, theater, municipal park, or hotel conference
room. With a public location, the sponsor may need to pay a rental fee. A private
meeting place is any location that is not normally accessible to the public. This will
usually be someone’s home, but could also be an office or some other place of business.
A number of our groups have been provided meeting space by the Unity Church or a
similar venue.
Like most aspects of Benestrophe, selecting a meeting place involves no hard and fast
rules. You can try one way and then change later. Many sponsors elect to start their
group by meeting at peoples’ houses. Others prefer to start at a public location so that
new members feel comfortable at first and then move to a system of rotating hosts later.
Do whatever feels right for you.
A few other details should be decided upon by the sponsor. Membership in a

Benestrophe group may be open or closed to the public. Closed groups may gather by
personal invitation only. Groups that are open to the general public publicize their
activities. This is normally done through advertising, either by placing ads in local
media or by distributing flyers that announce the time and location of meetings. Here
again, the sponsor can act upon his or her personal preferences.
The regularity of the meetings should also be considered. The sponsor may prefer a
regular weekly schedule, with members meeting at the exact same time and place every
week. Or the sponsor may prefer to hold meetings on an irregular basis. Some groups
conduct both regular weekly meetings and special celebrations or intensives at other
times.
Keep in mind that there is more than one correct way to organize a Benestrophe group.
Although this chapter contains many suggestions, the sponsor of a group is always free
to accept them or not as he or she sees fit. A particular group may come up with a style
of meetings that does not resemble anything like what we discuss in this chapter. That is
fine, as long as the spirit of Benestrophe is present and The Vision of Benestrophe is
read at meetings.
Getting the word out
If you elect to keep your group private, perhaps limit the group to a specific number of
members, your advertising might involve nothing more than mentioning it to a few
acquaintances. Simply inform those who you think would be interested that you are
starting a group and when and where you will meet. Tell them a little about the focus of
the group, and be sure they understand that they are personally selected and are invited
to attend.
If you elect to draw members from the public, you may choose to make your advertising
a little more extensive. Start by telling your friends and acquaintances. In some cases,
that’s all that is necessary. That will be enough to start the ball rolling. A small core of
enthused individuals who subsequently tell others can often lead to a large and vibrant
group of people.
If you are new in town, don’t know many people, or want to begin your group with a
large turnout, you may choose to advertise in the media. A small classified ad in a local
newspaper usually works well. Copies of The Vision of Benestrophe or a simple flyer to
distribute around town is also effective. Any mention on radio or television is good.
Most local radio and television stations make such announcements as a public service
without charge. Local computer bulletin boards usually allow the posting of messages
without charging a fee. Many local church and social organizations will be responsive
to your efforts and will be happy to publicize your group.
Make your advertising message simple and to the point. State that a new group is
forming and supply the time and location. Give a local phone number so that people can
contact you for additional information. That’s all there is to it.
If you use your creativity, you will find there are many ways to publicize your new
group with a minimum of effort and expense.
Some sponsors conduct initial advertising, get their group going, and then drop all
publicity They prefer to either limit their group to a specific number of people or let the
group’s word of mouth bring in new members. Other sponsors continue to conduct
some form of ongoing publicity This can be a regular classified ad, run maybe one
week per month, or some other form of advertising that continues indefinitely.
Depending on the budget of the group, such ongoing advertising should constitute only
a small percentage of the funds available. You can do a little temporary advertising for
new members at any time, whenever you find attendance could use a boost. Once your
group has been meeting regularly for a period of time, you can better determine the
needs of the group regarding new members.
We come together of our own free will
Sooner or later, the moment comes when people, of their own free will, choose to arrive
at your selected meeting location to take part in the healing process of Benestrophe. It is
a time of celebration, a time to rejoice. Your efforts at publicity have paid off; people
are responding to the message. Allow your natural enthusiasm to show as you receive
your guests. Welcome all those who show up and thank them for coming. Most people
will be cheerful and enthused, eagerly awaiting their new adventure. Take comfort in
the fact that they will not be disappointed.
Make sure all details regarding the meeting room are ready for your guests before they
arrive. Have necessary items prepared ahead of time. If you are planning to do a process
involving paper or writing, have the paper and pencils ready to go. If you need to supply
drinks, have the cups and pitchers set out in advance. Whatever else is needed, be sure
to take care of the details well before the scheduled time of the meeting.
Start on time! This is a critical element in creating successful and meaningful meetings.
How you conduct your meetings relative to this one principle can set the tone for
everything else you do in your group for the duration of time your group exists. In
actual practice, this may require some diligence on your part. Over a period of time, this
policy creates a more functional group. Word quickly spreads that people need to arrive
on time, and they will. A Benestrophe meeting is an exciting event. Many people look
forward to the meeting far in advance. New people come with open Hearts and high
expectations. The natural energy of the group is often sufficient to shift everyone’s
attitude in a positive and beneficial direction. Benestrophe is a celebration of Sacred
Relationship.
When guests arrive, whether they know it or not, they are in for an experience that can
change their lives. A Benestrophe meeting, no matter what specific rituals or processes
are performed, is always an expression of the healing power of Love. As members
arrive and take their places within the group, allow yourself to feel a sense of gratitude
for the joyous and wonderful celebration that you are blessed to be a part of.
The structure of our fellowship is minimal
The purpose of Benestrophe meetings is to enable cocreators of Benestrophe to share

ways to complete or live the Twelve Steps. To have an effective group, there are certain
technical aspects that must be addressed. 0nce a sponsor has selected the group’s name,
he or she may notify Benestrophe Central in order to place the name on file.
Benestrophe Central can also be informed of the sponsor’s first name, address, and
phone number; whether the group is open or closed to the public; whether Benestrophe
Central may disclose the sponsor’s first name and Phone number to potential new
members; and the names and addresses of members who wish to be on Benestrophe
Centrals mailing list.
This contact is optional. Since the Benestrophe fellowship is a self-organizing network,
the sponsor is not required to reveal this information if he or she, for some reason,
Prefers not to. We suggest, however, that all sponsors do so, since Benestrophe Central
can serve the group through the dissemination of information only if it knows of the
group’s existence. Keep in mind that group donations to Benestrophe Central are
mandatory.
At present, and for as far into the future as we can see, Benestrophe and
Benestrophe Central is strictly non-profit, donations appreciated but not
required. Enjoy Benestrophe and your Benestrophe Group. Please keep us
informed of your progress but don't send money. Thanks
In this regard, the sponsor does not have the option of shunning contact with
Benestrophe Central. (The details of this financial obligation are spelled out in detail in
our Seventh Tradition.) In theory, a sponsor could send the group’s monthly donations
to Benestrophe Central anonymously, never revealing the specifics of his or her group.
However, the interests of all groups and members are better served by informing
Benestrophe Central of the group’s activities. Honoring the principle of anonymity,
Benestrophe Central neither sells its mailing list to other organizations nor discloses the
identity of its members.
As expressed in our Ninth Tradition, we maintain the minimum amount of structure

necessary for the smooth functioning of our fellowship and its individual groups.
Whenever possible, structure is minimized in order to favor the Self-organizing power
of Love. Flexibility is maintained in all matters, including the format and structure of
group meetings. Structure is viewed merely as a useful tool, as something available for
us to use in order to improve the efficiency of our Benestrophe activities.
In the purest sense, the Benestrophe network of groups has no hierarchy. When
everyone supports everyone else, the harmonious participation of the members creates
the healing miracle of Love. All interactions between Benestrophe sponsors, members,
and Benestrophe Central are guided by the principle of Trust.
Conducting meetings is an art.
The following are some general guidelines on the art of conducting meetings.
Remember that these suggestions are entirely optional, as are all suggestions regarding
meetings. But they have proven effective over time. Sponsors are encouraged to use
these suggestions if they so desire.
Seating: The facilitator should make certain there is ample seating for everyone who
attends. When preparing for the meeting, it is best to error on the safe side; it is better to
have too many seats than not enough. Ideally, participants should be seated in a circle
whenever possible. This allows everyone to make eye contact with everyone else. It is
best to have the seating arranged so that everyone sits at approximately the same height.
This is important when there are eye-contact processes conducted at the meeting.
Seating must be comfortable. We focus attention better when our spines are straight.
Length of meetings: The sponsor decides the length of the meeting. For most groups, an
ideal length of time is anywhere from one to two hours. If the circumstances of the
group change, new agreements about meeting content and starting/ending times can be
agreed upon. The important thing is that the parameters be set intentionally rather than
by default. Meetings that just start and end whenever, are not conducive to healing
Energy
Confidentiality: All discussion and sharing within the context of a Benestrophe meeting
is strictly confidential. Members should be reminded of this fact by the facilitator
whenever appropriate. Aware that our inner strength lies in defenselessness, we openly
share our vulnerability. The healing power of Love manifests far more readily in an
environment protected by the safeguard of confidentiality
Idle chatter: We do not judge, label, gossip, or give advice. When to speak is
superfluous, we remain silent. We listen with the Heart and offer support to others. We
do not attempt to counsel or solve problems. The transformation that happens within the
individuals in our groups is brought about by acceptance and deep relaxation.
Activities: In Benestrophe meetings, we touch, hug, dance, sing, laugh, cry work, play,
and breathe together. Whatever activities we pursue, as long we perform them in the
spirit of Love and understanding, we transform separation and fear into Wholeness and
Love. Gazing into each other’s eyes, we merge into Bliss.
We suggest that Benestrophe meetings be structured in such a way as to have three

distinct parts:
(1) opening rituals,

(2) processes and assisted stretches, and
(3) sharing.
The three-part format has proven to be an excellent way to structure meetings.
Opening rituals set the tone for the meeting
Opening rituals bring the group into focus, establishing the mood for what is to follow
in the meeting. Although only the reading of The Vision of Benestrophe is required to
qualify any meeting as a Benestrophe meeting, most groups open meetings with several
distinct rituals. The following format is suggested for beginning meetings.
The first thing the facilitator does is read the preamble to those at the meeting. The
exact text of the preamble is:
The Twelve Traditions of Benestrophe foster community Our common

welfare comes first. Individual and planetary healing emerge from Sacred
Relationship. Benestrophe groups are autonomous and self-supporting.
We do not endorse or oppose causes. We are not allied with any nation,
politics, religion, or institution. We remember our common purpose by
reading aloud The Vision of Benestrophe at meetings. To protect our
fellowship from the influence of our egos, we maintain anonymity with the
media. Anonymity fosters humility, ever reminding us to place principle
above personality, cooperation above competition, and take our guidance
from Love.
We suggest a short meditation as the second phase of opening rituals. This is a period of
inner focusing, which helps release concerns of the day and connect with the inner Self.
This meditation may be guided or silent. Typically, the facilitator begins by asking
everyone to close their eyes and relax into a safe space. He or she then guides them
though a series of visualizations, such as through various parts of the body or through
various healing scenarios. Most groups choose to end the meditation with an image of
global Unity This meditation may last several minutes or longer.
The next part of the opening rituals could be the all- important reading of The Vision of
Benestrophe. This reading is required for every Benestrophe meeting. The Vision is
read in order to clearly inform newcomers-and remind everyone else-of the principles
upon which Benestrophe is based. The proper method of reading The Vision is to give
everyone a copy and then proceed around the circle with each person reading one
paragraph aloud. If there are few members present, say five or so, each person will end
up reading several paragraphs, since the reading will rotate around the circle several
times. If there are many members present, say more than twenty, not everyone will get a
turn at reading a paragraph, since the reading will be completed before a single rotation
around the circle.
The Vision should be read slowly and everyone present should pay close attention to the
words, reading along silently while it is being read aloud. For many of us, the reading of
The Vision of Benestrophe represents a time of rededicating ourselves, a time to
concentrate our energy on healing our planet through healing ourselves.
Another element of the opening rituals can be personal introductions. Simply go around
the circle, with each person introducing himself or herself. Introductions may be brief.
Many people prefer to give their first name and identify themselves as a co-creator of
Benestrophe. For example, someone might say My name is Susan, and I’m a co-creator
of Benestrophe. If the person wants to, he or she can follow that with a short statement
about themselves, such as what brought them to Benestrophe or how they are feeling
that day They also can relate some interesting story or event that happened to them
recently as a result of using a principle of Benestrophe. The facilitator should take care
to keep the introductions reasonably brief, making certain that no individual participant
rambles on.
Other popular opening rituals are chanting along with Robbie Gass’s tape titled Om
Namaha Shivaya, followed by a hug-a-thon where everyone hugs everyone else.
The opening rituals can last anywhere from fifteen minutes to forty-five minutes.
Afterward, members feel calm, centered, relaxed, and ready for the second part of the
meeting.
Benestrophe is a path of action
Important elements of Benestrophe meetings are the processes and assisted stretches we
perform. The sponsor should realize that it is impossible to fit every beneficial process
into a few short meetings. With all the available processes and assisted stretches, we
must select the ones we most want to do, time permitting. The best approach is to select
a single process or series of stretches for a meeting and leave the remaining ones for
some other time. Allow your intuition to guide you as you direct the course of your
meetings and select which processes to do.
This second part of Benestrophe meetings is where we touch, hug, dance, sing, laugh,
cry, work, play, meditate, and breathe consciously. We cannot do all there is to do in
every single meeting. Most groups perform only a few of these elements in one
particular meeting and leave the other elements to be included in a future session. The
decision of exactly what processes or stretches to perform in which particular meeting is
made by the sponsor.
This second part of the Benestrophe meeting is called processes and assisted stretches.
When deciding what activities to include in a particular meeting, the sponsor has three
basic approaches. He or she can facilitate:
(1) one or more processes,

(2) one or more assisted stretches,
(3) a combination of both processes and stretches.
A wide variety of processes are available to select from when planning a meeting. A
sponsor can devise a process on the spot or allow one of the members to select the
process. One practice that works is to determine in advance who will facilitate this
second part of the meeting next time. This responsibility can rotate among members and
may include:
merging with fellow members;

processes that facilitate the healing energies within the group;
processes that allow for enhanced communication within the dynamics
of those involved;
processes that unleash our sense of gratitude.
One example of an effective and powerful process is the I Love You Process. Start by
dividing the group into pairs sitting facing one another. Spread the members of the
group out much as possible. Each person makes eye contact with his or her partner
while holding opposite hands. Partners should sit close together with knees touch-ing.
Then, each pair takes a deep breath and after exhaling whispers, I love you. The two
people continue back and forth, alternating for three minutes. This process cre-ates a
deep sense of merging. Anything that helps us awaken to Love is fair game. The
Benestrophe format is limited only by the imagina-tion of the sponsor and the
willingness of group members. Experimentation is encouraged. By maintaining a sense
of adventure, we keep our meetings alive and exciting.
We share Sacred Touch
Because Sacred Touch is the means by which we heal the pain of separation, physical
contact is central to the Benestrophe experience. Touch is an effective way of get-ting
into alignment with our Self and communicating with others. Through Sacred Touch,
we nurture ourselves and comfort others. We express affection and relieve tension. The
art of Sacred Touch allows us to lighten up and enjoy Life. Massage and bodywork get
energy flowing and release the fear we normally carry around in the form of sore
muscles, migraines, stiffness, and other ailments. Sacred Touch is the cure for what ails
us.
The massage circle is a favorite process that expresses the miracle of Sacred Touch. The
group forms a circle with each person standing behind another. Every person mas-sages
the neck and shoulders of the person in front of him or her. This lasts for about five
minutes. Then, at a signal from the facilitator, everyone does an about face and mas-
sages the person who was behind them a moment ago.
Sacred Touch is a wonderful way to offer Love. We all need release and healing. We
benefit greatly from being lovingly massaged by the rest of the group. An alternative in
larger groups is to have those who are unable to reach the person being massaged to
offer energy by touching the backs of those who are giving the massage.
Groups often complete processes or begin or end their meetings, with a hug-a-thon. This
is a simple process in which everyone hugs everyone else. It can continue for as long as
the facilitator cares to let it. Sacred Touch feels heavenly for all involved. It is a blessed
gift we have at our disposal to enable the healing Energy of Love to move through us
and transform all those it touches.
Assisted stretches nourish our bodies and our souls
A dynamic means of expressing Sacred Touch is through the practice of assisted

stretches. These are a series of simple yet powerful body exercises performed with a
part-ner who helps in the process. Within the context of a Benestrophe meeting, assisted
stretches are a perfect way to share Sacred Touch and produce deep physical, emo-
tional, and spiritual transformation.
The chapter that follows this one describes, in detail, a collection of assisted stretches
that are suitable for use within Benestrophe meetings. The sponsor is encouraged to
read through the chapter and carefully study it before practicing these procedures in his
or her group. The stretches are not difficult; nearly anyone can learn easily. Under
knowledgeable guidance, members derive immense benefit from the regular practice of
any or all of these assisted stretches.
Since part of every Benestrophe meeting is usually set aside for processes and assisted
stretches, the sponsor will need to make a determination regarding the type of activity to
use here. The sponsor can lead the group through a series of processes over the course
of several meetings, or the sponsor can do nothing other than assisted stretches. The
choice is entirely up to the sponsor and the individual members of the group.
The important thing to remember about processes and assisted stretches is that they can
trigger powerful responses among members. Do not try to fit too much into one
meeting. The facilitator must leave plenty of time for sharing and integration after this
part of the meeting has finished. Sharing constitutes the third part of the Benestrophe
meeting.
We share who we are
The third and final part of our suggested Benestrophe meeting is the part where sharing
takes place. No matter what has occurred during the processes and assisted stretches
portion of the meeting, all Benestrophe groups require some time for an amount of
verbal and emotional sharing. Members are encouraged to speak from the Heart rather
than from the head, from experience rather than from opinion or belief.
The sponsor or facilitator begins the sharing, thereby demonstrating the appropriate
depth of disclosure and length of time per person. Some groups choose to take turns
around the circle, while other groups are less formal. The time allowed for this part of
the meeting may vary considerably depending on how much time remains before the
group is scheduled to end.
In every case, a member shares only when he or she feels like doing so. While everyone
is encouraged to participate fully in each meeting, there are times when a member may
choose to pass during his or her turn to share. This is always acceptable. No one is ever
made to feel pressure no matter what activity they choose to decline from participation.
If appropriate, the facilitator can give those who have passed a second opportunity to
speak after the rest of the group has shared. Sharing from the Heart what we have
experienced in our group is a rewarding and jubilant part of the Benestrophe experience.
The facilitator should take care to gauge the time involved in the sharing portion of the
meeting. A skillful facilitator will gently direct the flow of Energy so that the individual
sharing does not carry on past the time for the meeting to conclude.
We close the meeting with physical connectedness
Since we usually begin the meeting with a series of opening rituals, many groups elect
to use some form of ending ritual to unify the group’s Energy and create closure. The
recommended way to achieve closure is for members to form a circle and link hands.
Again, place the left palm up, right palm down. Alternatively, members can put their
arms around those on each side.
Most groups have one favorite way of closing, as well as an abridged method of closing
for those meetings where little time remains. The most common single element involved
in closing rituals is the recitation of The Declaration of Interdependence, the last
paragraph of The Vision of Benestrophe. Time permitting, a song can be included in the
closing ritual. As members leave the building and continue on their way, the sponsor
should wish them well and thank them for coming. Members will usually discover that
parting is more difficult than they had anticipated, since the closeness and merging that
occurred during the meeting has created a climate in which they want to remain with
each other for a while longer. If there are any time constraints on the meeting facility,
the sponsor would be wise to usher the group outside or to another location. Otherwise,
the sponsor can allow the members to interact with each other for a period of time.
Benestrophe meetings are an experience that can last a lifetime. The healing and
transformation that takes place within the group is valuable beyond measure. Everyone
should be invited back to the next meeting and encouraged to bring others who they feel
would be open to the experience.
We are self-supporting
One additional item that must be interjected at some point during the meeting is the
matter of finances. Since each Benestrophe group is self-supporting and every group has
expenses, we mention this fact and pass the hat. A simple statement from the sponsor is
sufficient, such as:
There are no dues or fees, but we do have to pay rent... While many groups operate on
the basis of donations, some groups set dues or mandatory payments of some sort.
Groups are free to handle their finances as they see fit. Good business decrees that
passing the hat at least one- half hour prior to the end of the meeting so as not to miss
those who need to leave early.
This is also the time when practical considerations should be addressed. For example,
the facilitator should solicit volunteers for the next meeting (if any are necessary) and
give individual members the opportunity to make any announcements relevant to the
group. After the meeting has concluded and members have gone home, the sponsor
should record any relevant information about the meeting. This can include the amount
of funds collected so that the monthly ten-percent donation to Benestrophe Central will
be accurate. Afterward, the sponsor and members can look forward to the next
scheduled meeting, when the Benestrophe experience continues.
The sponsor need not do everything alone
Benestrophe attracts many talented and creative people. The wise sponsor views every
willing person in the group as a potential resource of Energy Some groups have periodic
organizational meetings to find out the direction the group wants to go and to take a
survey of the skills and resources available. Such a survey invariably yields talent that
individuals are eager to share. Artists, musicians, bodyworkers, practitioners of healing
techniques, and those with intimate knowledge of certain spiritual paths abound. The
sharing of our gifts is an intrinsic part of creating community. We strongly encourage a
format flexible enough to encompass all that members have to offer. An unwritten
tradition dictates that members respond to requests from the sponsor for help.
Sharing responsibility for various elements of the meeting gives everyone an increased
sense of involvement. Taking turns facilitating, leading the meditation, bringing music
to share, helping set-up or clean-up, phoning people prior to meetings, and connecting
with people who miss meetings are some of the ways in which members of a group can
share in creating a positive experience.
Expertise is no requirement for participation. People who, for example, have never led a
meditation may hesitate to volunteer, especially if several other members seem to be
skilled at it. By asking for a volunteer for the next meeting who has never led a
meditation, the facilitator creates a safe space for someone to stretch beyond his or her
usual limitation and discover a new talent. Asking a shy member for suggestions in
choosing meeting topics is another excellent way of accessing the wisdom and concerns
of group members who are less outgoing. While Benestrophe is not about solicitation or
confrontation, there are many ways a thoughtful and sensitive facilitator can empower
each member to broaden his or her participation.
We support one another
Members of Benestrophe groups support each other in a variety of ways, both within
and outside the meeting. Perhaps the most basic way of support we have to offer one
another is listening and responding from the Heart. Very often, a disclosure which
appears to call out for a solution is only a call to be heard. In a Benestrophe meeting, we
allow each person the space to share the Reality of the moment.
One way to determine whether an individual is ready for feedback from other members
regarding a disclosure is to inquire whether there is any way in which the group can be
of help. Our intent is to honor the vulnerability within each of us while remembering
that the most vulnerable among us has strength and wisdom. Sharing experiences rather
than opinions, philosophies, and beliefs is one of the qualities that makes the
Benestrophe experience so powerful and transformative.
Sharing is critically important when a group member is in pain, either physical or

emotional. Advice is not helpful; nor is being reminded of some philosophical truth.
The willingness to simply be with another in a loving, nonjudgmental way is what is
needed. That is the priceless gift we give through our Benestrophe meetings.
Sharing Benestrophe is Benestrophe
Gathering together with caring friends to celebrate Sacred Relationship opens our
Hearts and keeps us involved in our Twelve-Step process. Being part of a healing
community offers invaluable support in dismantling that which blocks our ability to
experience Love in our lives. As we play together in our group, we maximize growth
while coming to understand that the essence of enlightenment lies in our ability to
lighten up.
Those who have experienced the joy that comes from working the Twelve Steps extend
an invitation to others t~ join the celebration happening within the Benestrophe
fellowship. By sharing what we have gained, our lives become fulfilled. Whenever
Love is freely given, Love is unconditionally received.
This book serves as a textbook for directing the course of our meetings. The chapters on
the Twelve Steps are intended as a guide for discussions and processes within
Benestrophe groups. Co-creators of Benestrophe are encouraged to read and apply the
principles contained within the pages of this book.
Should you decide to start a group and become its sponsor, you will embark on a
journey which will carry not only yourself, but many others into new and uncharted
territory Every bit of healing you obtain, every drop of peace and enlightenment that
comes your way, will also bring with it a legacy of affecting others.
When people’s lives change, they, in turn, change the lives of those they touch. An
avalanche is started, in which the Wholeness and Love that manifest in your group
eventually comes to radiate into the lives of countless others. In time, the entire family
of humanity will feel the effect of what we do. That is how the healing process that
takes place within our Benestrophe meetings plays a part in the total transformation that
is now taking place on our planet. That is how the miracle of Sacred Touch is healing
the pain of separation.
The age of leaders has come and gone. We are but trusted servants. We are all unique
expressions of the Universe who is using our talents to organize a group of individuals
with a common purpose. That purpose is to teach Love by the way we live. Let’s not
forget our purpose. Amidst all the technical stuff-all the details about meeting places,
appropriation of funds and so forth-is the all-powerful healing Energy of Love. Love is
the answer to every question posed by Life. Sacred Relationship is an easy and direct
way to meet Love face to face.
We enter Relationship to heal ourselves and to support others in healing themselves. We

gather together to fulfill this promise in our lives. The only requirement for belonging to
Benestrophe is the yearning for Wholeness. By joining one another in Benestrophe
meetings, we awaken to our true destiny. Through the miracle of community, we come
to realize our goal of Unity, Freedom, and Bliss.

Quote for 2/21/2011
We don't need more strength or more ability or greater opportunity. What we need is to
use what we have. (Basil S. Walsh)
Suggested Interactions
At present, much of this information is available under the heading CONDUCTING A

MEETING. This will be sorted out and set aside for easier access soon.
Benestrophe Stories
Stories from the original book will be posted here soon. Also, as soon as more stories
come in they will be posted for all to benefit from.
Find a Group Near You
Lots of work to do here. Benestrophe was almost lost on Dick Bertram's translation.
However, this active Central will grow rapidly from YOUR sponsorship. Start your
groups, register them with us here at Central and LET's GROW.
Our group, Divine Love Benestrophe, is located at
DeLand, Florida
Contact: Rev. Soozi Howell or Rev. David E. Howell
Phone: 352 771 5655
Meetings: Every Thurs. evening at 7
email: webmaster@benestrophe.net
We will assist you in any way we can to get started.
Divine Love Benestrophe is also Benestrophe Central
So give us a call or an email and get your group going.
Benestrophe Central News
All the news thats good to hear. Newsletters will begin to be available as soon as I can
get to them (hopefully VERY soon. Here is where we'll post news from your group
when you send in your reports. GREAT!
Starting a new Group
Read especially the 12 Traditions (very important) Once you have read the traditions,
read the section on conducting a meeting to have a good idea of how to proceed. Good
luck and Benestrophic beginnings.
Contact webmaster@benestrophe.net for more information or to Register your Group
HERE IS SOME BASIC INFORMATION ON STARTING YOUR GROUP
Benestrophe groups are formed by sponsors
Starting a Benestrophe group is easy. Anyone can do it.

All you need is a place to gather and the desire to begin.
Groups are usually launched by nothing more than someone inviting a
small circle of friends to get together and read The Vision of Benestrophe.
Benestrophe meetings offer an easy way to heal ourselves and to

assist others in healing themselves.
The word “sponsor” defines the person who takes responsibility for creating and
maintaining
the group. How this responsibility is administered varies widely.
The sponsor determines the content of the meetings and may serve as the
primary facilitator if he or she desires. Although the facilitator of
a meeting can change from time to time, the sponsor retains
ultimate responsibility for the organization and functioning of the group
and its meetings.
Let’s say you want to sponsor a new Benestrophe group. No forms or paperwork are
required. Once you are clear about your intention for the group, you simply declare that
the group exists and proceed to organize the particulars. The moment you begin, you are
the sponsor of the group. Pick a name and meeting place for the group The first task is
to name your group. Any name that aligns with your focus will do. For example, you
might call your group the “We Are One Benestrophe Group”, the “Children of Light
Benestrophe Group”, the “IAMUS Benestrophe Group,” or the “Anonymous Angels of
Benestrophe Group.” Keep the name of the group impersonal by not including anyone’s
name in it. A suitable meeting place should be secured. There are two categories of
meeting places: public and private. A public meeting place is any location within a
public building or facility. This could be a church, school, theater, municipal park, or
hotel conference room. With a public location, the sponsor may need to pay a rental fee.
A private meeting place is any location that is not normally accessible to the public.
This will usually be someone’s home, but could also be an office or some other place of
business. A number of our groups have been provided meeting space by the Unity
Church or a similar venue. Like most aspects of Benestrophe, selecting a meeting place
involves no hard and fast rules. You can try one way and then change later. Many
sponsors elect to start their group by meeting at peoples’ houses. Others prefer to start at
a public location so that new members feel comfortable at first and then move to a
system of rotating hosts later. Do whatever feels right for you. A few other details
should be decided upon by the sponsor. Membership in a Benestrophe group may be
open or closed to the public. Closed groups may gather by personal invitation only.
Groups that are open to the general public publicize their activities. This is normally
done through advertising, either by placing ads in local media or by distributing flyers
that announce the time and location of meetings. Here again, the sponsor can act upon
his or her personal preferences. The regularity of the meetings should also be
considered. The sponsor may prefer a regular weekly schedule, with members meeting
at the exact same time and place every week. Or the sponsor may prefer to hold
meetings on an irregular basis. Some groups conduct both regular weekly meetings and
special celebrations or intensives at other times. Keep in mind that there is more than
one correct way to organize a Benestrophe group. Although this chapter contains many
suggestions, the sponsor of a group is always free to accept them or not as he or she sees
fit. A particular group may come up with a style of meetings that does not resemble
anything like what we discuss in this chapter. That is fine, as long as the spirit of
Benestrophe is present and The Vision of Benestrophe is read at meetings.
PLEASE REGISTER YOUR GROUP WITH BENESTROPHE CENTRAL AS

SOON AS POSSIBLE
CONTACT webmaster@benestrophe.net WITH YOUR INFORMATION SO
YOU WILL BE POSTED.
The Vision of Benestrophe

Heaven on Earth is possible
We are one Spiritual Family, here to love and care for one another.
Through focusing on a vision of Unity, Freedom, and Bliss, while
accepting current reality, we are shifting human destiny from
catastrophe to Benestrophe.
Co-creators of Benestrophe heal the pain of separation
Meeting in groups of two or more, we share experience, strength,

and Sacred Touch. Aware that strength lies in defenselessness, we
share our vulnerability. We do not judge, label, gossip, or give
advice. We respect the confidentiality of all that is shared. When to
speak is superfluous, we remain silent. Listening with the Heart,
we touch, hug, dance, sing, laugh, cry, work, play, and breathe
together. Gazing into each other’s eyes, we merge into Bliss.
The key to Relationship is commitment

We enter Relationship to heal ourselves and to support others in
healing themselves. We commit to a life of reverence, humility, and
rigorous honesty. When anything less than Love surfaces, we
remember that the Wholeness of Relationship is more important
than any issue. Keeping communication open, we recreate
Relationship anew, fresh in the Perfection of the moment.
The Twelve Steps of Benestrophe choreograph our dance of Life
Our craving for approval and control takes us into the past or
future where Love cannot be found. The Twelve Steps offer a way to
dance in the Perfection of the moment if you are tired of feeling
''not enough,'' and would like to be happy; we invite you to join us
in taking these steps:
1. We recognize that we have been allowing fear to block our

experience of Love.
2. We trust the miracle Love, as experienced through Sacred

Touch, to heal the pain of separation.
3. Surrendering to the mystery of Life, we commit our will

and our lives to the intuitive wisdom of the Heart.
4. We take a searching and courageous inventory of

ourselves.
5. Choosing to release guilt, we tell the truth to a trusted

person about everything we have done that is inconsistent
with Love.
6. Choosing to manifest health, joy, and abundance, we live

consciously in gratitude for the gift of Life.
7. Choosing to resonate with Unity, Freedom, and Bliss, we

humbly celebrate Sacred Relationship with ourselves, one
another, and all that is.
8. Choosing to heal our lives through forgiveness, we allow

Love to replace blame.

withheld Love, except when to do so would harm ourselves or
others.
10. When suffering surfaces, we breathe consciously into our

feelings, relax, and merge into the Perfection of the moment.
11. We seek through prayer, meditation, and Sacred Touch to
expand our conscious contact with Love, asking only for
inner guidance and the courage to take action.
12 Awakening spiritually as a result of these principles, we

gratefully share The Vision of Benestrophe and teach Love by
the way we live.
Sharing Benestrophe is Benestrophe!
We claim progress rather than Perfection
No one among us has been able to maintain absolute adherence to

these principles. The Twelve Steps guide us. By embracing the
Steps of Benestrophe, we transform fear, greed, and separation into
beauty, excellence, and completion. Through learning optimism,
we develop the ability to see the good in everything. Discovering
we are Perfect just being, rather than trying to be perfect, we love
ourselves exactly as we are, and that’s enlightenment.
The Twelve Traditions of Benestrophe foster community
Our common welfare comes first. Individual and planetary healing

emerges from the purity of Sacred Touch. Bènestrophe groups are
autonomous and self-supporting. We do not endorse or oppose
causes. We are not allied with any nation, politics, religion, or
institution. We remember our common purpose by reading aloud
The Vision of Benestrophe at meetings. To protect our fellowship
from the influence of our egos, we maintain anonymity with the
media. Anonymity fosters humility, ever reminding us to place
principle above personality, cooperation above competition, and to
take our guidance from Love.
The Declaration of Interdependence
We pledge allegiance to Life, and to the planet on which we live,

one world, interdependent, with Truth and Enlightenment for all.
May Love grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot
change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom
to know the difference.
BENESTROPHIC NEWS
March, 2001
To subscribe, please send your email address to

webmaster@benestrophe.net
To Unsubscribe, send email with Unsubscribe in subject line.
Welcome to the No Bad News Newsletter. Please send in your good news
stories and we’ll post them for you. Good things of all types will be
appreciated. This includes personal stories, third person stories,
receipes, herbal remedies, favorite happenings, or any other good you
wish to relate to the co-creators of Benestrophe.
Included in this issue is HOW TO START YOUR BENESTROPHE GROUP at the

end of the newsletter. It is quite long and can be easily copied and
printed. Please do so as you wish.
======================================================================
=========
HERBAL SUGGESTION.
From Divine Love Benestrophe Group.
Cinnamon may help Diabetics. A spoonful a day of cinnamon appears to

hold off type 2 diabetes and improves the ability to regulate blood
sugar.
It seems the cinnamon helps fat cells recognize and respond to

insulin. When the cells don’t recognize insulin, glucose is not
properly metabolized and the blood sugar is too high, often resulting
in blindness, kidney failure, heart attack, and death.
The American Diabetes Association says that diabetes is the sixth-

leading cause of death in the United States.
A little spice for the zest of life. Good news.
======================================================================
=========
HERE’S A GREAT SIMPLE RECEIPE
Broccoli Casserole Souffle
12 oz cottage cheese
1/2 cup of butter, cut up in pieces
1/4 lb grated sharp cheddar cheese
3 eggs
3 tbs flour
1-2 bunches fresh broccoli, cut into bite size pieces
Mix all ingredients then add broccoli. Place in a greased casserole

dish. Bake
at 350 degrees for 1 hour. To reduce bottom browning, place in pan of
water for first ½ hour. A cookie sheet with water will evaporate, and
you won’t need to reach in the hot oven to replace the water pan.
ALASKA HAS MORE GAS AND OIL THAN SAUDI ARABIA
Lindsey Williams, formerly with Atlantic Ritchfield Oil Company, says

there is a 200 year supply of pure-grade oil on the north slope of
Alaska. See the article at
http://www.sightings.com/general9/alask.htm for details.
Natural gas in great abundance is found at Prudhoe Bay. One billion

cubic feet of natural gas is pumped back into the ground daily by
using 48 747-jet engines.
Similar, if not quite at the same magnitude, situations exist in
Texas, Oklahoma, Utah, Wyoming, and other oil-producing areas. There
is a huge volume (cubic miles) of natural gas under the recently
legislated Escalante National Park in Utah for example.
Good News? Yes indeed. Most of these supplies are regulated and
conserved by the Federal Government. While it is common to condemn
federal involvement in anything, it is a good thing to hold our
reserves for a time when there is no other option. It is a good thing
to preserve the natural areas above these energy preserves while we
can. Perhaps, in the future we will be able to find a way to have
both the wild areas and the energy. Perhaps we will have new ways to
create and use energy without fossil fuels. We are used to paying for
energy today at a level we never would have believed possible and we
still have more luxuries than at any other time. The government
(believe it or not) is actually doing a good thing by preserving both
the environment and the energy resources.
Perhaps it would be a better good to send the natural gas down to the
energy-starved lower 48. It is a wonderful good thing to think they
are actually putting the gas BACK in the ground instead of releasing
it into the atmosphere.
We are rich beyond all measure in energy resources. Fossil fuels

which are the major pollutants man is releasing in this world are so
abundant in the U.S. that we have a 6000 to 10000 year supply already
on hand, even considering the wasteful use we do now and may well do
in the future.
The earth/sun interaction creates a huge surplus of electrical energy

used by power plants all over the world. However, this is available
at individual levels and may be inexhaustible in human terms.
A recent published work on individual or personal power plants may

bring a resource producing energy which will allow us to never need
the fossil fuels in the future. See
http://www.sightings.com/general9/unveil.htm for details.
Another good source of potential for economical energy is the Stirling

Engine. Invented by the Rev. Robert Stirling in 1816, the Stirling
engine has yet to be researched and utilized in the potential it
actually has. Check out:
http://www.techeast.net/Posters98/p16.html
http://www.argonet.co.uk/users/bobsier/
for more information on Stirling engines.
The good news about energy is that we have so much of it available we

choose poorly or for all the wrong reasons. The really good news is
that we are changing that and beginning to choose less energy from the
wrong sources and placing pressure on better sources to come forward.
No matter that the oil companies are rumoured to have bought up all
the patents on cheap energy, we are moving in a direction that will
force these things out. We are no longer isolated from each other.
The internet brings us more information than we can use and some we
don’t want. The internet also brings openness that has never been
known in large societies before. We will see much more good news
about alternate energy sources soon.
======================================================================
======
STARTING YOUR BENESTROPHE GROUP.
Benestrophe groups are formed by sponsors.
Starting a Benestrophe group is easy. Anyone can do it. All you need
is a place to gather and the desire to begin. Groups are usually
launched by nothing more than someone inviting a small circle of
friends to get together and read The Vision of Benestrophe.
Benestrophe meetings offer an easy way to heal ourselves and to assist
others in healing themselves.
The word “sponsor” defines the person who takes responsibility for
creating and maintaining the group. How this responsibility is
administered varies widely. The sponsor determines the content of the
meetings and may serve as the primary facilitator if he or she
desires. Although the facilitator of a meeting can change from time to
time, the sponsor retains ultimate responsibility for the organization
and functioning of the group and its meetings.
Let’s say you want to sponsor a new Benestrophe group. No forms or

paperwork are required. Once you are clear about your intention for
the group, you simply declare that the group exists and proceed to
organize the particulars. The moment you begin, you are the sponsor of
the group.
Pick a name and meeting place for the group
The first task is to name your group. Any name that aligns with your
focus will do. For example, you might call your group the “We Are One
Benestrophe Group”, the “Children of Light Benestrophe Group”, the
“IAMUS Benestrophe Group,” or the “Anonymous Angels of Benestrophe
Group.” Keep the name of the group impersonal by not including
anyone’s name in it.
A suitable meeting place should be secured. There are two categories

of meeting places: public and private. A public meeting place is any
location within a public building or facility. This could be a church,
school, theater, municipal park, or hotel conference room. With a
public location, the sponsor may need to pay a rental fee. A private
meeting place is any location that is not normally accessible to the
public. This will usually be someone’s home, but could also be an
office or some other place of business. A number of our groups have
been provided meeting space by the Unity Church or a similar venue.
Like most aspects of Benestrophe, selecting a meeting place involves

no hard and fast rules. You can try one way and then change later.
Many sponsors elect to start their group by meeting at peoples’
houses. Others prefer to start at a public location so that new
members feel comfortable at first and then move to a system of
rotating hosts later. Do whatever feels right for you.
A few other details should be decided upon by the sponsor. Membership
in a Benestrophe group may be open or closed to the public. Closed
groups may gather by personal invitation only. Groups that are open to
the general public publicize their activities. This is normally done
through advertising, either by placing ads in local media or by
distributing flyers that announce the time and location of meetings.
Here again, the sponsor can act upon his or her personal preferences.
The regularity of the meetings should also be considered. The sponsor

may prefer a regular weekly schedule, with members meeting at the
exact same time and place every week. Or the sponsor may prefer to
hold meetings on an irregular basis. Some groups conduct both regular
weekly meetings and special celebrations or intensives at other times.
Keep in mind that there is more than one correct way to organize a
Benestrophe group. Although this chapter contains many suggestions,
the sponsor of a group is always free to accept them or not as he or
she sees fit. A particular group may come up with a style of meetings
that does not resemble anything like what we discuss in this chapter.
That is fine, as long as the spirit of Benestrophe is present and The
Vision of Benestrophe is read at meetings.
Getting the word out
If you elect to keep your group private, perhaps limit the group to a
specific number of members, your advertising might involve nothing
more than mentioning it to a few acquaintances. Simply inform those
who you think would be interested that you are starting a group and
when and where you will meet. Tell them a little about the focus of
the group, and be sure they understand that they are personally
selected and are invited to attend.
If you elect to draw members from the public, you may choose to make
your advertising a little more extensive. Start by telling your
friends and acquaintances. In some cases, that’s all that is
necessary. That will be enough to start the ball rolling. A small core
of enthused individuals who subsequently tell others can often lead to
a large and vibrant group of people. If you are new in town, don’t
know many people, or want to begin your group with a large turnout,
you may choose to advertise in the media. A small classified ad in a
local newspaper usually works well. Copies of The Vision of
Benestrophe or a simple flyer to distribute around town is also
effective. Any mention on radio or television is good. Most local
radio and television stations make such announcements as a public
service without charge. Local computer bulletin boards usually allow
the posting of messages without charging a fee. Many local church and
social organizations will be responsive to your efforts and will be
happy to publicize your group.
Make your advertising message simple and to the point. State that a
new group is forming and supply the time and
location. Give a local phone number so that people can contact you for
additional information. That’s all there is to it.
If you use your creativity, you will find there are many ways to
publicize your new group with a minimum of effort and expense.
Some sponsors conduct initial advertising, get their group going, and
then drop all publicity They prefer to either limit their group to a
specific number of people or let the group’s word of mouth bring in
new members. Other sponsors continue to conduct some form of ongoing
publicity This can be a regular classified ad, run maybe one week
per month, or some other form of advertising that continues
indefinitely. Depending on the budget of the group, such ongoing
advertising should constitute only a small percentage of the funds
available. You can do a little temporary advertising for new members
at any time, whenever you find attendance could use a boost. Once your
group has been meeting regularly for a period of time, you can better
determine the needs of the group regarding new members.
We come together of our own free will
Sooner or later, the moment comes when people, of their own free will,
choose to arrive at your selected meeting location to take part in the
healing process of Benestrophe. It is a time of celebration, a time to
rejoice. Your efforts at publicity have paid off; people are
responding to the message. Allow your natural enthusiasm to show as
you receive your guests.
Welcome all those who show up and thank them for coming. Most people
will be cheerful and enthused, eagerly awaiting their new adventure.
Take comfort in the fact that they will not be disappointed.
Make sure all details regarding the meeting room are ready for your
guests before they arrive. Have necessary
items prepared ahead of time. If you are planning to do a process

involving paper or writing, have the paper and pencils ready to go. If
you need to supply drinks, have the cups and pitchers set out in
advance. Whatever else is needed, be sure to take care of the details
well before the scheduled time of the meeting.
Start on time! This is a critical element in creating successful and

meaningful meetings. How you conduct your meetings relative to this
one principle can set the tone for everything else you do in your
group for the duration of time your group exists. In actual practice,
this may require some diligence on your part. Over a period of time,
this policy creates a more functional group. Word quickly spreads that
people need to arrive on time, and they will.
A Benestrophe meeting is an exciting event. Many people look forward

to the meeting far in advance. New people come with open Hearts and
high expectations. The natural energy of the group is often sufficient
to shift everyone’s attitude in a positive and beneficial direction.
Benestrophe is a celebration of Sacred Relationship. When guests
arrive, whether they know it or not, they are in for an experience
that can change their lives. A Benestrophe meeting, no matter what
specific rituals or processes are performed, is always an expression
of the healing power of Love. As members arrive and take their places
within the group, allow yourself to feel a sense of gratitude for the
joyous and wonderful celebration that you are blessed to be a part of.
The structure of our fellowship is minimal
The purpose of Benestrophe meetings is to enable cocreators of

Benestrophe to share ways to complete or live the Twelve Steps. To
have an effective group, there are certain technical aspects that must
be addressed. 0nce a sponsor has selected the group’s name, he or she
may notify Benestrophe Central in order to place the name on file.
Benestrophe Central can also be informed of the sponsor’s first name,
address, and phone number; whether the group is open or closed to the
public; whether Benestrophe Central may disclose the sponsor’s first
name and Phone number to potential new members; and the names and
addresses of members who wish to be on Benestrophe Centrals mailing
list.
This contact is optional. Since the Benestrophe fellowship is a Self-

organizing network, the sponsor is not required to reveal this
information if he or she, for some reason, Prefers not to. We suggest,
however, that all sponsors do so, since Benestrophe Central can serve
the group through the dissemination of information only if it knows of
the group’s existence.
Keep in mind that group donations to Benestrophe Central are

mandatory. In this regard, the sponsor does not have the option of
shunning contact with Benestrophe Central. (The details of this
financial obligation are spelled out in detail in our Seventh
Tradition.) In theory, a sponsor could send the group’s monthly
donations to Benestrophe Central anonymously, never revealing the
specifics of his or her group. However, the interests of all groups
and members are better served by informing Benestrophe Central of the
group’s activities. Honoring the principle of anonymity, Benestrophe
Central neither sells its mailing list to other organizations nor
discloses the identity of its members.
As expressed in our Ninth Tradition, we maintain the minimum amount of

structure necessary for the smooth functioning of our fellowship and
its individual groups. Whenever possible, structure is minimized in
order to favor the Self~organizing power of Love. Flexibility is
maintained in all matters, including the format and structure of group
meetings. Structure is viewed merely as a useful tool, as something

available for us to use in order to improve the efficiency of our
Benestrophe activities.
In the purest sense, the Benestrophe network of groups has no

hierarchy. When everyone supports everyone else, the harmonious
participation of the members creates the healing miracle of Love. All
interactions between Benestrophe sponsors, members, and Benestrophe
Central are guided by the principle of Trust.
This is the March 2001 Publication of BENESTROPHIC NEWS and is

available for use as indicated by the tenor and statements contained
within. Benestrophic News is intended as a source of enlightenment in
every area of life and to bring good in all things.
Published by BenestropheCentral
http://www.benestrophe.net/
Contact
Webmaster@benestrophe.net

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----WELCOME-------

HONORING DICK BERTRAM

The purpose of this publication is to serve as a textbook for

Our world is too precious for anything less than Love

Truth will set us free

The Vision of Benestrophe

Co-creators of Benestrophe heal the pain of separation

Meeting in groups of two or more, we share experience, strength,

The key to Relationship is commitment

The Twelve Steps of Benestrophe choreograph our dance of Life

1. We recognize that we have been allowing fear to block our

2. We trust the miracle Love, as experienced through Sacred

3. Surrendering to the mystery of Life, we commit our will

4. We take a searching and courageous inventory of

5. Choosing to release guilt, we tell the truth to a trusted

6. Choosing to manifest health, joy, and abundance, we live

7. Choosing to resonate with Unity, Freedom, and Bliss, we

8. Choosing to heal our lives through forgiveness, we allow

9. We make direct amends to people from whom we have

10. When suffering surfaces, we breathe consciously into our

12. Awakening spiritually as a result of these principles, we

We claim progress rather than Perfection

No one among us has been able to maintain absolute

Discovering we are perfect just being, rather than trying to be

The Twelve Traditions of Benestrophe foster community

Our common welfare comes first. Individual and planetary

The Declaration of Interdependence

We pledge allegiance to Life, and to the planet on which we

All human experience can be divided into two categories:

The Vision of Benestrophe is intended to guide us in the way

Humanity has put itself in bondage to fear

All negative emotion, including anger, greed, jealousy, and

Love is more than emotion. Love is experiential knowledge of

Fear takes us out of the present moment. The present

Love is a power greater than ourselves. Through Love, we

Benestrophe is a process that is capable of accelerating the

Benestrophe is a universal healing community. United in

The Twelve Steps of Benestrophe are suggested as a path of

The Twelve Steps of Benestrophe describe a process of

We start where we are

When we work the Twelve Steps of Benestrophe, we take a

We are beings of Light, here for a purpose. Although we have

Heaven on Earth is possible. Co-creators of Benestrophe see

Lives change when attitudes change

When the famed Canadian medical researcher, Sir William

By living the Twelve Steps of Benestrophe, we transform

We choose Heaven on Earth

As we look around us, we see war, disease, famine, poverty,

A wave of consciousness is spreading over the face of our

DETAILS OF THE THE TWELVE STEPS OF BENESTROPHE

We recognize that we have been

Franklin Delano Roosevelt once told the American people:

We have nothing to fear but fear itself.

Because we fear, we suffer

The answer is within

It takes conscious effort, therefore, to go against the voices of the world

Love is who we are

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.

Contrary to popular belief, Love is not something we must earn.

The Steps of Benestrophe take us through the looking glass

Although we may be accustomed to thinking of spirituality as a journey, the Twelve

The key is willingness

Participating in the scared dance of Benestrophe requires a willingness to take risks, to

The yearning for Wholeness is a requirement