My Literacy Narrative

Euis Fauziah Ramadhani (17070835002)

Literacy in Education

I grew up in the middle of a family that is aware of education even though my parents
are not scholars, my mother only graduated from Junior High School while my father was
Senior High School. My parents always gave support to learn as well as fulfilling my school
needs. She never forced me to study but she made me study by playing. I started to learn how
to write on the small chair and desk by practicing tracing letters on a piece of thin paper
which easily to tear off when I erase it. My mother played prominent roles in my early
literacy practice because she was the only older people who had intense interaction with me
every day as my guide in my literacy practice. Meanwhile, I met my father only once in a
year because of his job as a sailor. My mother usually sang valuable songs such as letters and
numbers song which had correlation with my school’s need even changing the lyrics in order
to fix it with my school needs. Those songs were unconsciously as my funds of knowledge in
my kindergarten domains and it made me can read faster than my friends. Moreover, my
mother was often to read aloud of my father’s letters and she also guided me to write my own
letter for my father. I was unconsciously trained to be able to tell my feelings, experiences,
problems and achievement by writing. Before I could write, I just asked to tell simple story
then my mother wrote it for me. I started to be accustomed in reading and writing letters for
father once in three months even my father did not send me a letter, I kept writing my
experiences even took some photos that I would send it to my father, because I did not want
to miss important events that I wanted my father to know.
When I was a kid, I asked my father due to my curiosity of what language that was
used by father in the snowy country, but then he said “you will know it later when you are
older, so be patient and do the best in what you face now”. I thought there was no unity
language except Bahasa Indonesia, but then, I found the answer, I introduced to English by
school subject in my third grade of elementary school and I enjoyed learning it. “What a cool
language” was my very first impression about English. I did not even know that I met my
destiny since that early time. Because of my mother limits in teaching me English, she
enrolled me to private English since I am at third grade. I knew well how to change positive
sentences into both negative and interrogative sentences, but I was shy to speak in English
because sometimes I bit my own tongue when I try to speak English copying the recording.
After I was introduced to English, I often included English simplest expression in
writing letter to my father like “dear father, how are you, I am fine thank you, I am very
happy here”. At first, I was madly in love in writing both letter for my father and a diary but
it wholly changed when I reached my puberty in junior high school, I became reluctant to
write because of my teacher’s word. In one time, my Bahasa Indonesia teacher told the class
to bring our favourite things that we usually read then I decided to bring my father’s letter as
well as mine. In Math class, after I finished the assignment, I had nothing to do, so I putted
out my letters then read it while giggling because I was very excited to show my letters.
Instead of warned me, my Math teacher hit me on my head then tore my letters into a billion
pieces, he said that “do not do something useless and something you are not good in because
you are not good even solving my simplest mathematics exercise”. I was sensitive and placed
that words in my deepest hearth it was in turn to be my starting point I hate Math and my
turning point to hate to write as well. My motivation in learning was decreasing due to a lot
of hates words from my teachers especially my Math teacher. One problem solved, other
problems appear, my math teacher changed when I was at ninth grade, but I had to face a new
English teacher. My English teacher discriminated me, he did not believe when I got a good
score and always made me follow the remedial test even my score was ninety. He thought
that I was not capable in English too and when I got a good score, it meant that I was
cheating. I felt it unfair because it happened only to me, when I complained; he said “do you
think you are smarter than Ghafiqi (my smartest friend in the classroom)?” Silent and playing
cell phone was the things that I only did due to its pressure in school. I started to stop
studying seriously in school but I took as much as knowledge that I can in a course.
My bullied feelings disappeared when I was at Senior high school. I built up my new
image and showed off my knowledge that I got in course. I also was ever chosen as my
school representative in Biology competition and I got the second place in it. I began in love
again in reading and felt that I was more literate compared to most of my friends who spoke
about their lovers every time and everywhere. Even if I rarely went to a bookstore because in
Madura there was no Gramedia even bookstore that sold books other than course books, I
registered as comic and novel community in my town. By paying four thousands rupiahs, I
could borrow up to 5 comics or novel for two weeks. I was in love in reading Teenlit novel
and I could read two or more novels in a week both in home and school. I thought being quiet
and comfortable to read by myself at school was usual. My teacher urged me to play with my
friends rather than aloof to read my novels. I love to read because its allowance to flight to
my own world. My devotion in reading derived to anxiety’s feeling of people around me
especially in school because they think that I was freak who only can be a friend with book. I
fortuitously got a lot friends who also loved to read and had discussion about what we had
been read. I enjoyed to be called as literate person who always got good scores and had high
dedication in education.
My factual education journey began when I graduated from Senior High School
where my confusion of choosing appropriate major was haunting me every day and every
night. My father wanted me to be a teacher specifically English teacher while I wanted to be
part of science like nuclear engineer or chemistry teacher. I had intense debate with my
parents almost a then came up with the conclusion that I would choose it based on my desire
as well as my father’s will. Unfortunately, God had a better way for me, although I chose
Biology as my first choice, I was accepted in English Department which make my father was
so happy over my suffering. I determined that I would find a lot of friends in college who
could help me in understanding the subjects. Marginalized was my very first feeling when I
entered my first class. Most of my friends were having conversation using English fluently
and it made me having no guts to greet them. I was joining the class with zero motivation
while most of my friends were participating actively in the class. I was watching my
classmates speaking English while trying to get the point of their speaking. I reconstructed
my self-confidence in order to be involved in the class discussion. At the middle of my first
semester, I realised that I had wasted much time to hide in my comfort zone without trying to
increase my speaking ability. I started to write my opinion on what I had read before the class
then read it out loud when my lecturer asked about our opinion. Starting from writing before
speaking, I got used to speak even always stimulated to answer the given question as well as
told my understanding or my misunderstanding during the class. It was only the beginning of
my obstacles that I faced in higher education.
At the third semester, I got my first writing subject which demanded us to use our
critical thinking in criticizing recent phenomena. the complexity of the writing process and
interrelationship of its components like starting the paragraph, considering in the diction as
well as grammar, developing the idea which must be relevant, and also having the
communication in written text were the complicated things that I faced when I began to write
in English. My lecturer said “to be a good writer you have to be a best reader”. That quote
gave strong power in influencing my reading habits specifically in reading academic texts
like an academic journal. I started to change my reading text from informal into formal with
extraordinary determinations to understand and help from dictionary. Distinguishing
appropriate diction in academic writing was the biggest problem that I faced because it
needed a lot of academic journal to know the type of diction that usually used. The writing
level was getting higher and requiring faster critical thinking. In my writing IV subject, each
student was given different topic and we should make our own essay (thesis statement, body,
and conclusion) within 20 minutes. Could you imagine how worry I was? I could not even
breathe freely. On the other hand, through this shocking writing, I got used to think and
deliver my idea through writing faster which gave tremendous helps in writing my Bachelor
thesis.
It took two months for me to choose my thesis tittle while my other friends already
had their fix tittle which made me asking to myself “is it my fault/error or maybe my friends
are faster?” The feeling of being haunted by education was coming again in every path I took.
I went to libraries both in my university or others in order to get inspiration of my thesis title.
Luckily, I got my idea when having discussion with English Students Association members
about limited chance for the students to read and write what they wanted without felt inferior
because of the assessment. I was thinking hard and chose writing diary as the answer where
the diary as place for the students to write while the teacher gave only feedback without
formal score. “As I am getting older, I have to read more” I always said this word to myself
as self-motivation in writing my Bachelor thesis. As a result, I was able to write a good thesis
as well as got a good score even my journal was published in Erudio Journal Education and
Innovation. I was in the mix feeling between happy and amazed by my own capability.
“Welcome to the true jungle where being literate is not enough to get a good job
where money and connection are more powerful from your bright brain” it was a common
word that I often heard. I got a job in a home schooling institution where I mostly taught
kindergarten students to speak, read, and write in English. It was the dilemma for me because
of the giant gap between my habits in using complicated sentences competed with academic
diction and the students’ English ability which were in the beginner or intermediate level. I
felt that velocity of adaptation ability with the situation as well as the students was the most
important thing compared to just being literate. When I used to speak communicative speech
with very simple sentences, my parents asked me to pursue my education which made me felt
like got a thunderstruck.
Instead of saying I do not want to, I was smiling while looking into my mother eyes
which full of hope that one day, I would be a pride of my family. My sacrifices were
unworthy compared to my parents’ expenses. I believe that education can change someone’s
live even the entire of the family social status. I was using my brain durable to prepare the
requirements of the enrolment. Fortunately, I already had published journal that might help
me to pass the selection. I was doing the thesis plan for more than three months even sick
right before the test. All of my hard works were paid off, I am now here as postgraduate
students of State University of Surabaya, fighting, praying, struggling and doing my best
without stopping even I am running at my lowest speed. I hope, I can pursue my education
and get a chance to study abroad even for short course. “No matter how fast you will go as
long as you do not stop, everything will be finished”.