On November 3%, 2013 my life was changed forever. My little sister, Alice, was murdered. ‘At the time, I was experiencing some of the happiest days of my life. In September, | had discovered that my fiancée was pregnant. We were to give birth to a second son in June. On November 1*, my fiancée and | bought a house together. And we were to be married on November 9. I was ecstatic. Everything was perfect. That is, until Alice and Forrest were brutally executed in their carport on November 3". Suddenly, my world was a nightmare. Nothing made sense. My beautiful, innocent, twenty-four-year-old sister was shot through the brain? | have been stuck in that moment, frozen in time, ever since. ‘The house that was so exciting to live in suddenly seemed unfamiliar and unsafe, Everything was dark and unsettling. | didn’t sleep for the first week after the murders, and | still have trouble with it. | kept checking outside of the window, expecting someone to be waiting to murder me and my family. This was the new reality for me. Iwill never regret going through with the wedding, but there was a metaphorical raincloud hanging over what should have been the most joyful day of my life. There was an obvious void. Instead of standing in her spot as a bridesmaid, Alice was wearing her bridesmaid’s dress in a coffin the following day. Even in June, with the birth of my son, when | held him for the first time, | could only think ‘about how someone could murder this beautiful little child, some day. Just like Alice. | haven’t felt unmitigated joy since the night of Alice’s murder and | am unsure if| ever will. | feel like a failure of a brother. Big brothers are supposed to protect their little sisters. And, ‘even though rationally | know that | could not have done anything, there will always be a hint of guilt torturing me. Jam constantly wishing | could call her to share any life news — the good and the bad. Four and a half years later, days remain filled with pure melancholy and lack of motivation to accomplish anything. Still, other happier days are tainted by the memory of her loss. | am so thankful that the law has been upheld to the fullest extent, but there’s one problem. Even though there is a slight weight lifted by the guilty verdict, Alice is still dead. And that will never change. Since my family has had these murderers rock our lives to the core, | have been plagued by sleepless nights and gruesome nightmares. | was so hopeful that a guilty verdict would cause this to cease. Last night, | woke up in another cold sweat, and | am left wondering — Is this the way the rest of my life will be, forever?“ie My whole life I have tried to be a good person: a good daughter, a good sibling ~ most of the time - a good nurse, wife, mother, stepmother, Christian, I was a Sunday School teacher for 8 years as well as the Sunday School director. As a Christian, we are taught to forgive but I can not forgive you, Nate Wilkins, for executing my daughter. ‘Two years ago, I spoke at the trial of Mike Jones and said how devastated my whole family was by Alice's murder from my 4-year-old grandson to the oldest. After three boys, Alice was “Daddy's little girl” and my husband was truly destroyed by her horrific death. He had multiple health problems but was stable until she died. He became more withdrawn and depressed. | was crying a lot, hardly sleeping at night, having nightmares about the terror she felt at the end, reluctant to get out of bed in the morning. | don’t know if my husband gave up or didn’t want to worry me but he was having serious health issues. Finally he collapsed and bled out from an ulcer he had developed. He died six months after Alice did. Wilkins and Jones did not pull the trigger on my husband but the anguish they caused definitely contributed to his death. As far as | am concerned, they killed three people. My sons and I go on with our lives - they have wives and children to bring them joy and | am close to all of them. Not a day goes by that we don’t think of Alice remembering her wonderful smile and contagious laugh, her joy over small things, | and her compassion for any animal especially one with special needs. A deep sadness always pervades our family times. Alice would never have happy times with us again and never experience the security and love of her own family unit. Imourn Alice because at age 24 she never had an opportunity to live up to her potential. She was bright, artistic, athletic, and was particularly concerned with at- risk children. When she was in college she worked summers at a Summer Program for At-Risk Children in Carlisle, PA. She is still remembered today for her talent in connecting with these children. My son decided to make a film about his sister and put out feelers for people who would be willing to be interviewed to talk about Alice. The response was overwhelming. So many people from macho teenage boys to young men and women spoke about Alice with tears in their eyes or voices breaking. They told so many stories of how kind, warm, compassionate, and fun she was. It broke my heart to hear the stories of how well-liked and appreciated she was. At the same time, it makes me happy to know that in her short life she made a difference to so many people. My daughter’s murder has changed me forever. I have difficulty meeting new people and engaging in light-hearted chit chat. I can not go to parties where everyone is having such a good time and I feel dead inside. I have lost friends who are annoyed that I “am not trying to get over this” or that I am not back to acting like my “normal self.” My friends are concerned I am becoming a recluse. The slightestthing can remind me of Alice and I am so sad and tearful that I can not be around people My faith in God has been challenged. I can not understand why my daughter was brutally murdered by Wilkins and Jones. She did nothing to them. My mind can not process this. Why did they kill her? Was she justin the way? A germ or nuisance they wanted to get rid of? Was it just a joke? Was ita thrill to see the terror in her eyes and then point blank shoot her? At every moment along the way, they could have changed their minds. They made a choice to continue to the execution of Alice and Forrest. How could God allow such evil in His creation? Judge Bass, Mr. Rothschild has said positive things about you and respects you so please do not be offended, but | have serious problems with our legal system. 1am hot stupid and I know everyone is entitled to a fair trial but I want to tell you what it is like from the victim's point of view. The accused murderer has more rights the truly innocent one ‘The fact that so much evidence from the first trial was not allowed in this trial has caused me much anxiety and sleepless nights. Mike Jones and Nate Wilkins were co- conspirators and that was clear from the beginning so I do not understand this decision, It made this trial much more difficult and stressful. It was hard to accept Wilkins walking into the courtroom without chains, in nice clothes, neatly groomed with glasses. These are tactics to make him look innocent. | think this is a charade. He was living in jail and had been put there with substantial evidence. Why make him look different? And what about my daughter? Alice was excited about being a bridesmaid in her brother's wedding on November 9. Yes, 5 days after she died. She had a lovely dress she was supposed to wear. She did wear the dress ~ she had it on as she lay in the casket for her funeral, We had to listen to days of nit-picking, badgering, objections, side bars, calls for mistrials, attempts to impugn the work of Chief Merriman and discredit the motives of the witnesses. We were advised not to react in any way or we may be accused of “influencing the jury.” Changing positions or leaving the room fpr medical reasons could result ip the defense calling for a mistrial. ¢ i aiindad fone bud Wed DO a Ahene, I felt as if | were being watched, ready to be pounced on. Is it fatr that the vietim’s family is treated this way? Ona positive note, | am so thankful for the relentless and careful investigative work by chief Merriman and clear and concise presentation of the facts by ADA Jerry Rothschild and for the support by Laura Minton of the Victim's advocate program. 1am in awe of the jury for their attentiveness, integrity, and perseverance. They were able to look through the confusion created by the defense attorney and listen/ to the bottom line, the facts, and convict this man. | am forever grateful for their courage. The defense attorney worked hard to discredit the witnesses but the basic facts of Wilkins’s guilt were indisputable and I think the witnesses were brave to testify while clearly being terrified of reprisal by Wilkins Dawheps-thesoaeejuntnormal defense tacties bat inwes-se up saaanppastaanmathenntontowrdays. I felt secure in your courtroom, Judge Bass, because of your ability to make quick and fair decisions and keep the trial moving forward. So the murders of Alice and Forrest have been solved and justice done but we are still left with the loss of our children. What we face now can best be expressed by Angela Miller, a grief counselor: Empty chair, empty room, empty space in every family picture. Empty, vacant, forever gone for this lifetime. Empty spaces that should be full, everywhere we go. There is and will always be a missing piece in our lives, our families, a forever-hole- in-our-hearts, Time does not make the space less empty. Neither do platitudes, clichés, or well-wishes for us to “move on” or “stop dwelling” from well intentioned friends or family. Nothing does. No matter how you look at it, empty is still empty. Missing is still missing, Gone is still gone. The problem is nothing can fill it. Minute after minute, hour after hour, day after day, month after month, year after heart breaking year the empty space remains. The empty space that is our Alice: daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, friend - will last a lifetime for each of us. My family and I beg you to please give Nate Wilkins life sentences without a chance for parole so that he will never inflict this pain on anyone again.