DON BOSCO CENTER OF STUDIES

An Affiliate of Salesian Pontifical University in Rome

Institute of Theological Formation

THE NEW SAN DAMIANO EXPERIENCE:

REBUILDING THE CHURCH THROUGH RENEWAL OF THE CHRISTIAN FAMILY

An Integration Paper

Submitted in Partial fulfilment

for the requirements in Seminar in Family Life Apostolate

FRA. JIMMY BOY M. AVELINO

Order of Friars Minor Conventual

26th February 2018

 THE NEW SAN DAMIANO EXPERIENCE:

REBUILDING THE CHURCH THROUGH RENEWAL OF THE CHRISTIAN FAMILY

INTRODUCTION

One of the remarkable experiences of St. Francis of Assisi is described as the “San

Damiano Experience”. In this event, Francis was standing inside a ruined chapel of St. Damian.

Then, as he knelt down to pray at the altar at the foot of the cross known as the San Damiano Cross,

he heard a voice telling him “Francis, go and rebuild my Church which you see is falling into

ruins!”. This started the long journey of St. Francis which at the beginning he interpreted the

message as simply building the physical structure of the ruined chapel but in the course of his

spiritual pilgrimage he understood more deeply that what the Lord was communicating him to do

is to renew the very life of the Church. He was sending him to a mission to restore the broken

relationships of the people, to call people to genuine faith, and to bridge the growing gap between

the majorities (rich and powerful) and the minorities (poor and powerless) of the society, and

Christian families are torn apart because of diverse social, political and religious norms. St.

Francis’ family is not exempted from being affected by these conditions he undergone such painful

experience of separation, and discrimination because he made a radical choice to respond to a

higher call of vocation. The San Damiano Experience shows St. Francis’ mission to mend the

wounded Church through the renewal of its members.

Most people tend to limit their understanding of the mission of Franciscans. We are often

associated with a group of religious who have dedicated our lives by living in evangelical poverty.

It is not simply being materially poor but it is a poverty of minority with total dependence on God’s

providence while committing ourselves to an arduous work of justice, peace and integrity of

creation. And God’s masterpiece of creation is no other than man himself; and the most beautiful

“Garden of Eden” that is to encounter God is the family. There is an urgent need to renew the
family and restore its dignity and beauty in a manner that each member is valued and appreciated

and each dimension of family life is given attention for the building of the living temple of God.

During my novitiate formation, our novice master told us that before we apply for solemn

profession of vows or for ordination we should first have a deeper understanding and appreciation

of the dignity and vocation of the Christian family. Indeed, as I go through my theological

formation and in my apostolates; most of the encounters and concerns I come across with concerns

the life and mission of the family. Most families are unaware of the inner nature and spiritual

giftedness of the life they have embraced and most fall out to simply fulfilling their temporal

obligations. That the highest vocation that every Christian family should have is to be able to

nurture, strengthen and empower their relationships which can only be achieved if they learn how

to love. Love is the heart of family life. Love is the essence of Trinitarian life. Love enables

families towards the bond of unity and creativity.

Renewal of the Christian family means being able to foster love as the center of family life.

“Christians and all men who hold this community in high esteem sincerely rejoice in the various

ways by which men today find help in fostering this community of love and perfecting its life.”1

St. Francis’ call is to rebuild a families through giving them generous signs and works of love and

in that way rebuilds the Church to which every Franciscan responsible.

THE INVIOLABILITY OF THE SACREDNESS OF MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIFE.

Marriage and spousal relations are sacred because of the truth that God is the author of the

Sacrament and that both spouses respond to the call of their vocation in accord to the divine nature

of their relationship that is inseparability of their union and becoming partners of God in his

continuing act of creation. Its inviolability lies not simply in the legit and licit application of norms

1
Gaudium et Spes. No. 47.
and expression of the ritual but more so that the sacrament and the family that is built is made

possible through the God’s intervention and grace.

God himself has sanctified this relationship, the Divine love has purified human love and

summoned it to perfection. The spouses themselves become their primordial means of holiness

and lead their path towards the fullness of life. If they live their conjugal life faithfully, they mirror

God’s perfect and inviolable faithfulness towards his people. In as much as the Triune God

manifest their divine nature in relation to one another in perfect essence; their mind, will, freedom,

and power and so thus the spouses themselves being endowed with the grace of the sacrament of

matrimony channels all their mind, will, freedom and power towards the perfection of each other.

Each family then should be continually a source of life, love, giftedness and service towards the

other in mutually protecting their dignity and life. Thus, Marriage and conjugal life is a sacred

living testimony of a life in communion with God. The Church teaches us that indeed “marriage

constitutes an elevated form of the communion between human persons and one of the best

analogies of the Trinitarian life and that it is an eminent way of sanctity.”2

But to protect the dignity and inviolability of the marriage and family life is not an easy

task. It entails an integral approach towards understanding the dynamics of family life and thus

needs to integrate the various dimension of human and spiritual aspects of building relationships

and bringing it to perfection so it may be able to respond to the challenges of the rebuilding the

church.

The family as well as pastors needs to undergo the process of appreciating the importance

of communication in the family, natural family planning, parenthood and parenting, healing in the

family, dealing with addictions and same-sex attraction, and defending life.

2
Communion and Stewardship No. 38
 LEARNING TO LOVE

Rebuilding the Church and renewal of the Christian family is not an easy task. It involves

the entire being of the person committed to make a significant transformation in the society. As a

Franciscan, the understanding of spirituality of family life takes precedence over all other

dimension of responding to the needs and challenges of the family. Each member of the family,

parish workers working for the welfare of the family, and as future pastors of the flock must derive

all our learnings, inspiration and efforts from the very source of love. “Authentic married love is

caught up into divine love and is governed and enriched by Christ's redeeming power and the saving

activity of the Church, so that this love may lead the spouses to God with powerful effect and may

aid and strengthen them in sublime office of being a father or a mother.”3 Every mission which

concerns the family begins with our deep encounter with the Lord. It is the Lord who summons us

to listen to the pressing problems of the family. It is Christ love that urges us to learn how to love.

Francis discovered his mission at the foot of the cross of San Damiano, so I am also inspired

to draw the essence of my family apostolate from a life of contemplation and learning how to love.

In this way, the couples which I encounter will feel God’s presence and an authentic mission which

is motivated by divine love. Communication in the family is learned from being always in

communication with God in prayer and in the celebration of the sacraments. We learn the ways of

parenthood and parenting through the examples set by Mary and Joseph in raising up Jesus, the

Word of God is always rich in lessons teaching us how to love, how to forgive, and how to serve.

Families discover the profound meaning and wide horizon through learning the basic

principle of relationship that is love. Love is the basis of the dynamics of family life and the

ultimate goal of ones’ search for holiness. There is no other perfect rule that governs family life

rather that love itself. “Love is the fulfillment of the law.”4 The commandments are summed up

3
Gaudium et Spes no. 48
4
NAB, Romans 13:10
in these precepts of love “love of God and love of neighbor” 5. It is the same mandate that

accompanies family life the motivation for all the sacrifices which spouses along with their children

should respond with. Paul writes to the community of Ephesus “husbands, love your wives, even

as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her to sanctify her, cleansing her by the

bath of water with the word, that he might present to himself the church in splendor, without spot

or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. So (also) husbands

should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”6 And the

children must also participate in this spiral of loving and lead their families into a holiness of life

and of service for they mirror a greater and perfect family of God “Children, obey your parents (in

the Lord), for this is right. "Honor your father and mother." This is the first commandment with a

promise, "that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life on earth." Fathers, do not

provoke your children to anger, but bring them up with the training and instruction of the Lord.”7

Every family should be aware of their real identity, mission and direction in life that is to be an

authentic witnesses of love.

COMMUNICATING LOVE

Families are being confronted with the challenges of post-modernism, a technocratic

society and information-saturated humanity. It this context, families and pastors alike need to make

their experience of authentic and divine love shared with others. Communication which is not

limited to exterior activities but rather it is developing an interior attitude and disposition of families

as effective communicators of love. God needs us in order to convey “his message through the life

experiences and witness of families”8 There is no other language which is absolute and universal

than love.

5
NAB, Mark 12:29-31;
6
NAB, Ephesians 5:25-28
7
NAB, Ephesians 6:1-4
8
Amoris Laetitia No. 30
 Communicating love means openness in the family by giving each other quality time,

listening and understanding their deepest thoughts, needs and concerns and respecting the truths

about themselves. “Show affection and concern for the other person. Love surmounts even the

worst barriers. When we love someone, or when we feel loved by them, we can better understand

what they are trying to communicate.”9

Communicating love means also going beyond affections. It is responsible and creative

communication where every aspect of family life is given a chance to be heard and given

importance. It is a constant awareness of one’s commitment to journey together in love as the rite

of marriage vows says “for better and for worst, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in

health… till death do us part”. Communicating love in the family entails creativity that would not

run out of surprises and awe to the truth, goodness and beauty of relationships in the family. It

should be challenged to break the monotonies of life. Families should not be hesitant in expressing

love towards one another despite of difficulties and imperfection. Pope Francis encourages families

who said “let us care for one another, guide and encourage one another, and experience this as a

part of our family spirituality. Life as a couple is a daily sharing in God’s creative work, and each

person is for the other a constant challenge from the Holy Spirit.”10

Communicating love in the family means readiness to manifest random acts of kindness,

care, affection, mutual affirmation and tenderness towards one another as they thread the path to

holiness of life. “The true practice of conjugal love, and the whole meaning of the family life which

results from it, have this aim: that the couple be ready with stout hearts to cooperate with the love

of the Creator and the Savior. Who through them will enlarge and enrich His own family day by

day.”11

9
Amoris Laetitia, No. 140.
10
Amoris Laetitia, No. 321.
11
Gaudium et Spes, No. 50
 Families also learn to communicate love as they encounter the mysteries of life. When

they are able to celebrate, sustain and protect the dignity of life in all its stages. If there is joy and

much patience and care given to the new born child, so much so deserves a fuller attention and

affection to the sick and the elders.

Communicating love means also being able to grow in maturity in understanding one’s

sexuality in the context of family life. Love molds and expresses the truth in one’s person and

brings them to perfection if each member of the family understands that the expressions of sexuality

in bring into maturity the fullness of measure of one’s intimacy to the other such as the spouses and

their children. For spouses it is the supreme communicative expression of their love; for the

members of the family it is their participation in the creative dimension of the family by channeling

their creative energies for the welfare of the family. “Sexuality is not a means of gratification or

entertainment; it is an interpersonal language wherein the other is taken seriously, in his or her

sacred and inviolable dignity.”12

FOSTERING LOVE

What then is my pastoral response to the needs, and challenges of the Christian family as

a Franciscan Conventual Friar and as a future minister of the Church? I consider myself being

challenged to live the image of every pastor in the Church doing service for the families, that is the

image of the Good Shepherd. Fostering love should be my primordial duty in the family life

apostolate. In imitation of the examples of the Good Shepherd… my ministry should be the one

who “knows my flock… that my flock knows me… and that I can lay my life for the sheepfold.”

To know my flock means to immerse myself in the listening to the hearts of families. To be always

share with them their experience of faith, sufferings, joys, dreams, and fears. To have a heart ready

to understand, enlighten, inspired, guide and empower them.

12
Amoris Laetitia, No. 151
 To foster love in the families means that I will not be a minister of words giving much time

only to preach or moralize, but I hope in the future would be able to give my heart for them through

the witness of life.

To establish a ministry on family life which is concerned not simply on activities or

programs but that which caters to the formation of families. To prepare young engaged couples a

program on understanding of the dignity, sacredness and beauty of family life. To strengthen and

sustain married couples regarding their commitment to life and their responsibilities to children.

To accompany married couples with challenges of temporal, spiritual and relational problems. To

help ageing couples in a creative approach to foster their value in the Christian family life. To help

the young be responsible partners of their parents, discern their future vocation, and discover the

beauty and sacredness of their sexuality through youth ministry formation.

Above all, it shall be my duty to make Christ the center of family life and to lay down my

life for them means to break out from my comfort zones and make it available to them.

CONCLUSION

St. Francis’ of Assisi San Damiano experience commenced with the inspiration drawn from

the voice of the crucifix of St. Damian, the icon of the Gospel of John, the Gospel of Love. When

he started building the Church, he so handled each stone and block with utmost tenderness and

love. He touched and carried it in gently in his hands though they are rough and filthy. Indeed, all

families have their imperfections but if we care for them with love, we can be able to rebuild the

Church and renew the Christian families.

Ministry in Family life is impelled by God’s love for us, in turn we respond to the needs of

family life by learning love, communicating love and fostering love till we achieve our ultimate

goal in life. In this way, people will understand deeply the true meaning and mission of the

inviolability and sacredness of marriage and family life.

 BIBLIOGRAPHY

The New American Bible, Bibleworks Software for Windows Version 6.00, Copyright 2006.

James H. Kroeger, M.M., Ed, The Documents of Vatican II: Pastoral Constitution on the Church
in the Modern World, Gaudium et Spes, Paulines Publishing House, Pasay City Philippines, 2011.

Pope Francis, Post-Synodal Apostolic Exhortation, Amoris Laetitia, Word and Life Publications,
Makati, Philippines, 2016.

International Theological Commission, Communion and Stewardship, Human Persons Created in

the Image of God, Rome 2002.