Callie Fisher

Kansas State University

From the Perspective of a Daughter

When thinking about societal issues in today’s world there are many things that
come to our immediate thinking; mass shootings, racism, and LGBT hate crimes
are among some of the most common. All of these problems make national news
and are talked about across the nation. For me, I have a very real and raw way at
looking at one of these issues in particular. I have lived my whole life with a very
untraditional home life, and no I’m not just talking about divorced parents and
money issues.

I grew up with two moms, my mother and her partner. Living with this home life
came easy at first, as it was the norm for me. As I grew older I was exposed to the
narrow-minded opinions of others and quickly became passionate about sharing
my unique perspective on a topic that the world loves sharing their opinions on.
While the nation was disputing the appropriate action to take for gay marriage, I
was living right underneath this so-called “issue”, and contrary to popular belief,
my life was rather average.

Perhaps the first time I truly realized my home life was significantly different than
others was at a One Direction concert at the Sprint Center in Kansas City, MO.
Anyone who is from the area will tell you that the Westboro Baptist Church makes
an appearance at most large scale events such as this. Pastor Fred Phelps
established Westboro Baptist Church in 1955 and they claim to base their
teachings from the Bible and preach against forms of sin. Their website reads,
“WBC engages in daily peaceful sidewalk demonstrations opposing the
homosexual lifestyle of soul-damning, nation-destroying filth. We display large,
colorful signs containing Bible words and sentiments, including: GOD HATES
FAGS, FAGS HATE GOD, AIDS CURES FAGS, THANK GOD FOR AIDS,
FAGS BURN IN HELL, GOD IS NOT MOCKED, FAGS ARE NATURE
FREAKS, GOD GAVE FAGS UP, NO SPECIAL LAWS FOR FAGS, FAGS
DOOM NATIONS, THANK GOD FOR DEAD SOLDIERS, FAG TROOPS,
GOD BLEW UP THE TROOPS, GOD HATES AMERICA, AMERICA IS
DOOMED, THE WORLD IS DOOMED, etc.” You can imagine my shock, being
a 15 year old at her first concert hearing that the world is doomed and people like
my mother were going to burn in hell. I was very affected by this outburst and it
continued to resonate with me throughout my teen years.

Sadly, hateful acts like the ones of Westboro Baptist church are happening more
and more in today’s society and the effects are spreading in serious ways. LGBT
people are facing both physical and psychological violence with roughly 15% of
people reporting having experience with both types of discrimination. A hate
crime is defined as an intentional, bias-motivated, harmful act that occurs when
the victim is selected solely based on how the victim choses to live their life.
Perhaps the largest and most widely talked about LGBT hate crime was when a
shooter opened fire at a gay nightclub in Orlando. The shooter in this incident was
not simply expressing his opinion but rather continuing to encourage violence
against LGBT people in America. The act killed 49 people but many argue that the
societal damage was the worst consequence of this act.

While any act of violence is tragic, hate crimes are set out to terrorize a group or
community. The Federal Bureau of Investigation consistently shows that lesbian,
gay and bisexual people are attacked more than heterosexuals and in 2007 alone,
1,265 LGBT biased hate crimes were reported to the FBI.

When looking at this issue from the perspective of the Daughter of a Lesbian
mother, I can’t fathom the amount of strength it takes to be my mother and her
partner. When hearing that my mom could have been one of the targets of a mass
shooting, I struggle with comprehending someone’s reasoning. The Williams
Institute states that as many as six million children and adults have an LGBT
parent. Meaning that the result of hateful acts could mean the loss of a parent to a
young child or the loss of a beloved family member.

The ability to be a good parent is based on many things, those who oppose the idea
of lesbian and gay parenting believe that lesbians and gay men are mentally ill and
lesbians are deemed less maternal than heterosexual women. Additionally,
concerns regarding lesbian and gay men’s parent-child interactions are becoming
scarce because of their relationship habits. However the American Psychological
Association conducted a study that proves all of these assumptions to be false.
Psychiatric, psychological and social work professions explain that they do not
believe homosexuality to be a mental disorder. Studies say that, “homosexuality
implies no impairment in judgment, stability, reliability or general social or
vocational capabilities”. Speaking from experience, and based on the data, a
lesbian mothers’ romantic relationships with other women have not been found to
detract from their ability to care for their children. The separation of sexual
orientation and parenting styles is one that must be taken into consideration; whom
a person marries does in no way effect the way that person is able to care for a
child.
Personally, being raised by two mothers has shaped me into becoming a more
well-rounded and accepting person. Growing up I was taught that I could love
anyone I chose to, and I could be anyone I wanted to be. I believe that these things
were prevalent in my life because of the kinds of struggles my mother had to face.
My mother and her partner taught me to accepting of all different types of people,
because everyone has a different story and background. She taught me that it is
okay to step outside of the norm and take risks because that could be the only way
you find happiness. It is these values and lessons that my mother instilled in me,
that make it difficult to justify the violent acts in our world. I look to my mother
and her partner as an example; they never lost hope or settled for anything other
than their happiness. Most importantly they didn’t let the hateful mindsets’ of
others hinder their personal growth and that is what I believe makes a good parent.

Luckily, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, hopefully. Our nation is becoming
more and more accepting of different lifestyles. For example, in 1974 Elaine
Noble was elected the first openly gay candidate elected to a state office.
Television stars such as Ellen DeGeneres and Neil Patrick Harris are encouraging
the LGBT community to embrace who they are and love themselves. Some of the
most monumental occurrences of making progress toward acceptance include;
May of 2004 the first legal same-sex marriage in the united states takes place, in
September of 2005 California legislature becomes the first to pass a bill legalizing
same-sex marriage, and in June of 2016 Secretary of Defense Carter announces
the pentagon to lift the ban on transgender people serving in the military.
Additionally the Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act that was
recently passed by the U.S. House of Representatives. This act specifically gives
the Justice Department the power to investigate and prosecute bias motivated
violence. Meaning, the Justice Department now has jurisdiction over crimes of
violence where the victim was selected based on their perceived race, color,
religion, gender identity and sexual orientation.

With progress however, comes opposition and with change of course comes
conflict. There is no end-all solution to hateful opinions as there will always be
someone there to disagree with you. It is important that we as a nation are able to
bounce back and move forward from opposition. Thankfully, there are people like
my mom that can serve as an example for the LGBT community. Gay or straight,
there are all kinds of families in the world and all different kinds of beliefs that go
along with them. We must embrace diversity and encourage people to be
accepting of it. If we don’t, people like me will continue loose their mothers or
fathers, teens across the nation will continue to end their lives because of who they
chose to love, and people will be scared to share with they really are.
The media will try to paint LGBT communities a certain way, they depict LGBT
couples to be corrupting our way of life and pushing the idea of same sex marriage
onto others. Hate crimes aimed at LGBT communities have taken over our media
channels, kids in schools are being bullied, and the topic has become a hot topic
over social medias and government law. However, living with and adapting to life
as a child of two women that are directly affected by these hate crimes and media
outreaches, allows me to see first hand how this community handles these violent
acts, I grew up not knowing any different and not living any different from my
peers. I went to school dances, participated in extracurricular activities and dated
the opposite sex. The media will try to depict LGBT parenting as corruptive and
demoralizing but I have every reason to believe these things to be false. Along
with that I have other young people from the same background that deem to
believe otherwise as well. Taking a first hand look at a topic can help you to
understand it, with the way our society is moving and growing, there is likely to be
more disagreement about issues. However, the violent and demeaning acts can be
stopped if people take the time to look at an issue closer, it will reveal more than
most think.