The Shamans dream,

An autobiography of sorts.

Gabriel Blue Melchizedek

Kingdom-of-shamballa.eu

Preface.

Spirituality is my lifes-breath, i love it in all it forms, organized religions and new age
notions. I have been part of this world of experience since i was a young boy and my parents
never new about it. In this book i describe some of my adventures and the ideas i have picked
up along the way. I grew up on the toltec path but was encouraged to study everything, to
understand others and could speak their language if and when i met them.
This is not the first time i wrote a book, i tried a few times but i binned them after i finished.
The words and the description of the experiences and ideas never felt right, but now it does
not really matter anymore. I just want to share my adventures from another world of
experience and hopefully attract others to this wonderful world.
Some things are still very bewildering to me, accepting that i met so many people over the
years from all over the world and they wanted to talk to me. That they all agreed to talk to me
is still special to me because i feel there is still much more to learn.
Many will ask me why this first book is in English, because i am a dutchman, sometimes even
a flying dutchman. All those i met growing up and further on the path all spoke English to me,
so i learned to understand, speak and write English very fast. Writing and speaking English
came natural to me and English is the lingua franca of the world so it seemed plausible to
write my first book in English. I want everyone to know what happened to me, who i met and
what i learned all by accident. To some people my whole life is a glorious accident.
My life is a spiritual novel that i share, to remember everything better and share the adventure
and exitement that is part of that side of life.
Every chapter or piece is written as it came up, it has the order of the universe, something we
do not see at the moment but after a while we see the structure and act like we understand it a
little bit.
I write because i love to write and try to find my writing form, i know i can write, have
written a lot in the past, shared all my ideas and thoughts in blogs and poems on various
websites. Back then i was good at stories with the colour of the places and peoples i met, now
i am trying to find that writing form again. Because that is the best way to transmit the ideas
and knowledge of all those wise people i have met.

***

Index.
The science of fiction or exploring the 5th Dimension.
The Illumination game.
The Melchizedek.
The Melchizedek 2.
The Melchizedek 3.
The Universe conspires to…………………..
The Ascension plan.
On mount Mehru.
Lets be naked !
The magical landscape or discovery of the invisible landscape.
Relationships or relationshipwrecks.
"Stranger in a strange land" on loan from mister Heinlein.
That sweet emotion (Aerosmith song), a critique.
The Toltec groupstructure.
The city disease.
Our intent.
The mind.
The dome.
Exploring physical love.
Completeness, emptyness, total recall.
Popculture and spirituality.
My teachers.
Jungle dreams.
Kozyrev, shamanism and the barrier of time.
Real taoism is dead, the tao revisited.
A Kogi triangle.

***

The science of fiction or exploring the 5th Dimension.

I have been ill this week, hot, cold, sweating profusely, having a cold, very heavy body.
So I took the time to relax and put the needs of mind aside and relaxed.
I watched the X-files, I watched Fringe and then it occurred to me that we are being prepared
for a leap, Quantum leap into a new age.
I also thought about to other TV show, Nikita and Alias and what I saw was that all these
shows use themes that awaken our mind to the 5th dimension.
They are all about border science, science that is not accepted by the population by and large.
I think it must be like the days when the Christian religion came to the European peoples and
they could not understand what it meant because it did not fit in their world view. Propaganda,
violence and manipulation change the mindset of the people and gradually the new view is
integrated and adopted by the people.
These days violence rarely really works, people get to smart and adapt and integrate new
information and technologies faster. Not understanding them but integrating them thereby
changing their world (view).
Science fiction has become science faction. The quantum physics field is unlocking doors,
computer technologies opens doors, discoveries and research in medical science open new
doors changing the 3-D world into the 5-D world. Long ago I was a fan of a certain kind of
science fiction books (cyberpunk), they were written by William Gibson (Mona Lisa
overdrive, etc.) and lately I read some books by Neal Stephenson (The diamond age). They
write about worlds where computers and people have integrated all that was and stepped into
the fifth dimension. Their description f society is not so great but the use of sciences and
philosophies give us a picture of what the world is already like.
We are reading science fiction and it is happening all around us, it is trickling into our lives,
we only notice we are being bombarded with information, running around in our lives being
always too tired, I channel/read people around me always, most people are not really aware
that they are slowly drawn into a new world.
The fifth dimension is like the Borg from Star trek, it will assimilate us if we want it or not.
Or you should pick up your things and emigrate to the remotest place on earth to be able to
outrun them for maybe 2, 3 or 5 years.
Yes these are wonderful times and I hope that all these scientific breakthroughs will really
break the old way of human thinking and change the way human society worked.
Love and light,

***

The Illumination game.

The Illumination game, I call it a game because it make it a lot easier to play.
It used to be a game for a certain group of people but some daring Englishman wrote the
books for every man.

In the higher echelons of society it has been used for a few centuries, when church and state
weren't that separated as they are or should be now.

There are many roads to travel towards the goal of illumination, Wicca, shamanism, regular
religions, Magick, etc.

As we are living now in the 21st century you would think that something so arcane as
illumination disappears but I notice that underground, lightwork movement, magical
movements, religious movements are still propagating the art of enlightenment in new/old
techniques with the same effect.

Looking at society as it stands it is a bit schizoid, there enough enlightened people in the
world, why do we still drive towards the cliff, is it so difficult to stop the machine or make it
run slower.

I have been in it for most of my life; it has become part of my life, giving me the thrills and
difficulties navigating through a society that does not know about enlightenment.

Most of my time I feel like I have ended up in a strange science fiction fantasy movie where
anything happens and can happen.
I also see the duplicitous ness of the society we live in, but now the choices are not only yes
and no or zero and one but more choices and viewpoints have become possible.
In the lightwork classes they tell us we are get/are rewired, also we are rewiring the whole
planet by sending healing energies to the whole planet or special places.
All these energies free up old energies and help us break old patterns that make us unhappy
that is a kind of enlightenment.

But what is enlightenment?!

Reading objects, reading minds, knowing things before they are going to happen, changing
things about your life by putting energy in the things you like most.

Why do I write this, I wanted to write something to relax and writing about stuff I know about
relaxes me. Therefore I share this with the virtual world.

Love and light,

* **

The Melchizedek.

A friend of mine wrote me an E-mail that I could not call myself a Melchizedek, only he
could be cause many people said so. Well I do not listen to many people; I think/feel for
myself and felt a response. Then I wrote this blog.
It is about titles and roles in the spiritual game. Also about finding the thread in life and me
being aware of it and the traps on the spiritual path. Mostly it is about old stuff being worked
out. Sometimes we have to be mirrors to others to become aware of things. I have no secrets,
so here it is for your reading pleasure.

I am a lightworker, I give healings, initiate people, give talks on enlightenment and spiritual
things. I do not make a lot of money on it, because I am not a big advertiser of the things I do
or can do. Others are less scrupulous in being a businessman/woman and advertisements and
making money out of spirituality.
Years I have been on the enlightenment path, most of my life, I can't remember when I wasn't
busy refining and changing myself to be a better person. Egolesness or selflessness were
important achievements to me and now I am learning to put this state of being into the world.
But it is hard, from being an idealist, I had to change in a realist, which is where I am now.
From all the teachers I had, I now turn to myself, my feelings about things and follow them.

When was initiated into energetic healing I ran into new things and ideas, I was used to titles
as nahual, guru, master and now I encountered the ideas of ascended and melchizedek.
I always had problems with titles, most of my teachers said not to believe in them, but to use
them for what they serve, a certain purpose.

What and who is Melchizedek. Melchizedek (from Hebrew ‫ ַמ ְלכִּי־צֶדֶ ק‬melech-i-tzédek, literally
means "righteousness is my king") is a figure twice mentioned in the Hebrew Bible, also
known as the Old Testament. Melchizedek was a king of Salem, and priest of God Most High,
in the time of the biblical patriarch Abram. He brought out bread and wine, blessed Abram,
and received tithes from him, Genesis 14:18-20.
In the Second Book of Enoch (also called "Slavonic Enoch") is apparently a Jewish sectarian
work of the 1st century CE. The last section of the work, the Exaltation of Melchizedek, tells
how Melchizedek was born of a virgin, Sofonim (or Sopanima), the wife of Nir, a brother of
Noah. The child came out from his mother after she had died and sat on the bed beside her
corpse, already physically developed, clothed, speaking and blessing the Lord, and marked
with the badge of priesthood. Forty days later, Melchizedek was taken by the archangel
Gabriel (Michael in some manuscripts) to the Garden of Eden and was thus preserved from
the Deluge without having to be in Noah's Ark.
Jesus the Christ is identified as a priest forever in the order of Melchizedek quoting from Ps.
110:4, and so Jesus assumes the role of High Priest once and for all. A collection of early
Gnostic scripts found in 1945, known as the Nag Hammadi Library, contains a tractate
pertaining to Melchizedek. Here it is proposed that Melchizedek is Jesus Christ. Melchizedek,
as Jesus Christ, lives, preaches, dies and is resurrected, in a gnostic perspective. The Coming
of the Son of God Melchizedek speaks of his return to bring peace, supported by the gods, and
he is a priest-king who dispenses justice.

What about titles. I have said no to many who wanted to give me titles because of things I
could do. When I heard John 'Hari Das' Armitage (Founder of Shamballa MDH) speak on the
subject I understood, he had the same idea/feeling as I had, titles lead to problems.
People have blind faith in titles and then assume things and turn into little tyrants who impress
the importance of their title on others. In the lightwork this is called spiritual ego, getting lost
in the work, not being there with your heart but mostly with the head.

A name as a coat. On the spiritual path I followed I have had many names, every name is a
stage in my life, something I passed through I learned from. After a while you let those names
go because you learned everything there was to learn in that stage and you move on.
I have moved on, now for some five years now source and people around me have been
pressing on me to move to the next level, I thought I was not ready for it.
That time is now, I gave in and accepted the title that was hanging over me for a long while, I
still feel that I do not deserve it, but it serves a purpose to move to the next level. That is the
reason I now call myself a Melchizedek, not because others tell me I am, because I feel it is
necessary to move to the next level.

A lesson I learned from a lot of teachers is that the more you fight a certain kind of being,
stage in becoming, status or title the more you prove you deserve that title. Anyone who easily
takes on a title is usually not the one who deserves the title. With any title comes a
responsibility, the responsibility not to walk into the trap of spiritual ego (see Joshua Stones'
Encyclopaedia of Ascendance, I may have the title wrong, there is a whole chapter on the
spiritual ego).

I choose to be Gabriel Blue Melchizedek and yes people will make fun of it, ridicule it and me
but the problem is not in me, I am just a mirror and give all who meet me a gift. The other
may choose to learn or throw the gift away but that is how it works.
My service is to be a mirror and teach others, because I have been groomed for this job all my
life. Most people I know have nice life, houses, families etc, my whole life was/is about
enlightenment. I have nothing to show for than my attainment at this moment. I sacrificed my
success in the world/society for enlightenment.

Lynn V. Andrews says in her Tarot Powerdeck; 'Your enlightenment is the greatest gift you
give to the world, to humanity'.

Sometimes I get very human and think, when does the pay off come, not that I expect
anything to come. I am greatfull to all the teachers who accepted to see me, listened to me and
time and time again told me they could not teach me anything because I already knew it. Now
almost the end of my fourth decade on earth I am learning to accept it. By this I accept being a
Melchizedek. I know it is time to move to the next level, whatever that level may be or bring.

I am
I am who is
I am that I am
(The mirror)

***

The Melchizedek 2.

After I posted my first blog about 'Melchizedek', I was hit by a wave of negativity. The dark
forces saying I could not call myself a Melchizedek, the friend mailed me I could not call
myself a Melchizedek, ‘because I think it to be so’. Well he calls himself a Melchizedek, does
he not think he is one en than took to naming himself so. Then I heard; egomania, self-
importance and other nice words sent to me. Then I remembered dark forces need humans to
do their work. Nothing happens by it self. Now while writing this, the negativity is still flying,
I do not feel it applies to me, so I ignore it. I always ignore negativity; try to make something
else out of it, a challenge to stand in my power.

The Fifth dimension and balance. One of the things that is very difficult about spirituality is
that it is not rational; many in the spiritual game have to learn that spirituality is not about
rational knowledge, it is about experiential knowledge. Those who judge others are failing to
see the point; they are caught in personality games, the ego game, rationality. Spirituality is a
multidimensional thing; it goes beyond rules and rationalisations. We many times get lost in
rationalisations and then loose the connection with our heartmind. We become the petty tyrant
we always swore we would not become.

The goal of spiritual practice. Spirituality is a means to transformation, not to glorification of

self, the lesson from the best teachers is to be your own master and guru, you know yourself,
what is true by feeling and not by thinking. Thinking is what creates chaos, look at the world
around us, this well thought out society that is cracking in many places.

Mastery. The true master is known through is actions and not by how much money he or she
makes or how much spiritual mumbo jumbo he or she can spout.
Anyone can speak spiritual babble, living it and not judging others, respecting their choices
whatever they are, those are the qualities of a master. The attainment of the work is internal
and not external. It cannot be measured in material wealth.

Lightwork and purpose. What I learned from the lightworkers world is that minds close for
some, instead of opening to the world. Yes we have to strengthen ourselves, but not by closing
up and building a wall of spiritual elitism around ourselves. Here is the spiritual ego again.
This mistake is made often, you read about it in blogs all over the internet, how masters fall
because they forgot what their mission was. They have become the mission, the purpose. They
have lost their humility and assume they can think for others and judge them. You could say
that is a real fall from grace.
I remembered that I have written about this subject long ago on another Hyve. There are many
pitfalls and traps on the road of enlightenment. We should always be aware of that and stop
and feel before we start to judge someone, because the other, the other you, could have or has
a lesson for you.

Love and light,

***
The Melchizedek 3.

The show must go on. Wednesday I posted a blog about what happened. I changed my name
on some sites I use. Two weeks after I did it, a 'friend' told me I could not do that because I
would not be a Melchizedek. Well this show is still going on, several people are now
harassing me, I am attacked with Magick, kept from sleeping. People fucking around in my
head, as lightworkers know we can access (read) any mind and get information or put
information in there. All this because some people think that they can decide that some one is
or is not a Melchizedek.

In my power. There is also other stuff going on, but hey.......is it normal that lightworkers
harass, terrorise and attack others because they do not agree with eachother, I don't think so.
Some one like that, people like that are not lightworkers. They are people who think
themselves so important that they fuck around with other peoples lives, what gives them the
right. Because they can ?

Balance and imbalance. I think/feel it is the petty tyranny I described as one the of the traps of
mastery. I never thought people would make a deal about something so unimportant as a
name. But hey in the new age, lightwork business you never know. It happened in the Reiki
world, the two Reiki associations, so it must also be able that it happens in other branches of
this world. I never thought or expected that people in the lightwork business would act like
this, yes I get naïve sometimes. A little egomania okay, but I never thought it would be this
kind of petty terrorism I have been experiencing.
I do not believe in secrets, so I write my blog and put it in the world. Everybody is allowed to
know how things can go in the lightwork business when egos get bruised. Just at the moment
that I was really finding my true self, are people fucking around with my head. Instead of
diminishing my resolve, it only gets stronger.
There are a few voices, friends that acknowledge I do not have to prove anything. That is true,
I don't have to prove anything I just share my experiences with the world.

Spiritual isolationism. I am just disappointed in the lightworkers world at this moment, its not
the first time. Some time ago I was a member of a lightworkers site where posted some thirty
blogs to test my ideas, see if I could learn anything. On the thirty blogs I had maybe ten
responses. What is going on, I should find open minds that help me clarify things, I only find
silence and little encouragement. But I got a mail from a Finnish friend who had the same
idea, so I know the isolationism of lightworkers in their personal worlds is total.
The only good thing that comes out of this is that I work with great and loving energies and
the rest..........I will have to let go because it has nothing to do with the things I want to
achieve.

Love and light,

***

The Universe conspires to…………………..

The universe conspires too ....... I had an eventful few days, a lot of stuff happening. I am
aware that Shamballa MDH helps me to unknot, Alexander hacking away at Gordians’ knot,
stuff if there is anything too unknot, just some memories that have to be cleared up.
I have become aware that Shamballa helps me to get all the facts, information straight of a
very eventful six years. I had many adventures, met a lot of new people, learned a lot of new
healing methods, my body and mind have not had the time to let all these experiences settle.
At that moment in time, I was aware of all the things I did and learned but, body could not let
it find its place yet. Now this is happening. This means strange stuff happens, not bad stuff but
annoying stuff, things you do not need when you have a business and are going to college.

Old program vs. new program. What I learned the last days is………..that I am very good at
forgiving, I am only bad at forgetting. I told a friend who wanted to help me make sense of it,
that I would like to let the past go, but the past does not yet want to let me go.
This means that body is still working stuff out and I have to let my body take its time.
Another thing that is happening is that other stuff that happened in the past, is being worked
out by the body, but universe sent me some people to relive those situations. The dark forces
get a face, I am tested again and pass, ofcourse !, I am not that person I was a few years ago.
Too many teachers, teachings and healing methods I picked up because I was hungry for
learning new things. I am still hungry to learn more, to give more to my clients who come to
my workshops.

Now this was another piece of purple obsidian I pass to you all.
I am becoming more me than I ever was, I really love it.

Love and light,

***

The Ascension plan.

I am Toltec. I am a lightwork facilitator and have an assortment of methods I can use to help
with healing, counselling and illumination. This path started some thirty years ago, one
meeting changed my life forever. I met wonderful people and I stayed with them and their
friends up till now these friendships still endure. Because of the existing lesson plan I grew up
very fast. I never really was a kid, I had to learn to live with a natural sensitivity and to stay
balanced I read a lot of books. My teachers wanted to keep my outside the normal lines of the
Toltec tradition, to help me not to stumble in the same way they did. For some 25 years this
went well, but then I stared reading Castaneda's books and others and I fell in the same traps.
Then a family tragedy happened and I was unreachable for my friends, I was broken by grief
and anger. It cost me three years to integrate the tragedy and reconnected with my friends
again.

I did one Reiki course, two years later Shamballa MDH, Pleiadian healing, Maya healing
methods, Q’ero healing methods and I landed in myself again. For the Pleiadian healing I
travelled to Amorah Quan Yin and she initiated me, for the Maya healing methods I visited
the Yucatan several times and met healers and herbalists and they consented to teach me,
through "The return of the Inca" (a book) I discovered the Q’ero and decided to try to come in
touch with them, after several visits they initiated me in their healing rituals.

Friends, perfect mirrors. Today I met a friend, had not seen him for a while and we talked, he
is in the illumination business too. It was interesting to talk again, in a few words we got the
clarity of our personal vision and mission. It felt great to hear and feel that there are many of
us walking around, not swayed by outrageous stories and myths. I saw myself in him and that
does not happen often that I really speak to a kindred spirit.
The new program. Nowadays I am busy putting knowledge in the world, started my business.
Trying to write about my experiences and all the wonderful people I have met.
I went to China to meet Taoists and learn, I went to Siberia and Mongolia to learn about
shamanism, to Australia to learn from the aborigines about the dreamtime, to New Zealand
and learned about the Maori, Tibet and Dharamsala to speak to Buddhists.
Strange enough everybody accepted me, listened and answered all my questions. They all
looked deep into my eyes and said I had an old soul. Something I also heard from a few
people in the Netherlands, where I live. But I never felt ready to pass the knowledge and
methods on. Feeling like a stranger in my own country after all these teachings.

Eye-opener. Shamballa MDH was crowning addition to my repertoire. Monthly I get a new
activation of energy which helps me to stay balanced and at peace. Being with all those
teachers, I noticed many of them had crystaline energy around them to keep them balanced.
Some of them had energy bubbles as big as mine and some even bigger. I have always felt bad
about having such a big bubble around me. In the past I tried to make it smaller but it always
changed back to the bigger size. So I stopped making my bubble smaller and leave it as is.
The Shamballa download is a tiring affair for the body, because it has to integrate it, these
energies. You will feel heavy and tired, listless and it always takes a few days before the body
integrated the new frequency. An important issue, mind talks a lot, but mind is not you, mind
is just a translator. You are not your mind.

Ascension/Ilumination. During my ascension through life I have several times tried to put
illumination/ascension on the map. It is not a mythic archaic notion, it is real and many people
are working on it, because they feel it will enrich their lives. I believe that too. That is the
reason why I talk about illumination, make it a point in the things I do, make people take the
fact seriously. Ten years ago I failed in making this happen, but now I have changed so much,
I will not take no for answer and make it a point to let others know what it means and how it
enriches life. But I do not only talk about it, just by being around me or others on the path it is
possible to taste of enlightenment. I depends a bit on the teacher you have, but most give you
something without saying anything.

Personal mission. It seems, feels like teaching about illumination/ascension is my mission in

life and I embrace this. Illumination has been with me for so long, it is the center of my life, it
was my only ambition. When two years ago a Mayan elder said I was enlightened, illuminated
I could not, would not believe him, I said that I was too young for it. He said it had nothing to
do with age, only the will to reach a goal…..can make it happen.

Now I am out of words for the moment, but I promises I will write more. There are enough
adventures I like to share. I follow Hunbatz Mens' motto : No more secrets.

Love and light,

***

On mount Mehru.

Book. This is another try to get a book together. Several times I got a lot of texts together.
Written on paper, blogged, typed out, gathered together and thrown away, I did this several
times.
Empty and unwritten or free. There is a moment in time when the spiritual seeker has reread
whole his life, he or she rewrites his behaviour patterns. In the Toltec world it is called being
empty. This means your personal story is not in your way anymore. Then the real fun begins,
you experience everybody else’s stories everybody in your vicinity, people you work with, go
to school with, you feel and experience the world.

Worlds and parallel worlds. You will discover for yourself that the world we know is a
composite of many worlds. Every person is a world because of their personal history. But not
only people have a personal story, countries, villages, cities, companies, schools,
places.....they are all worlds that comprise the one we call reality. They are all bubbles of
energy and the energy holds the story. You can compare it with a cassette tape, video tape, a
CD that has been written on. When we were born……we were clean and unwritten, during
our first three years we are imprinted not only by experiential learning but also by being
around people. We pick up other peoples stories and until we are adolescents…….we believe
we are that story or those stories. Most of us keep following these stories and some of us
choose to change and work out where these patterns came from. To know where patterns
come from, where they originated we are able to choose different ways of acting and being.
Most of us rebel a little and return to the story their family gave them and live out their life
being their parents, grandparents or grand grandparents. Yes, the stories are energetic patterns
that stay in your lightfield unless you choose to change the family story.

The design. The flower of life is the pattern of life, showing us how worlds work and are
created. All worlds influence eachother, we are not really aware of it happening, because most
of us do not know this energetic truth. Every world has its own kind of energy, to know, feel
the energy is reading the story and understanding it. By understanding you can become part of
that world, become another person. This is called shapeshifting. We can shapeshift into
another job, a study or even someone else if we wanted to. It is all about understanding
energy, everything has a certain energy and we can use it to understand.

Awareness. Whenever we move anywhere we touch other worlds, people, houses etc. as
above. We can feel the stories of these worlds and they affect us, make us behave in a certain
way because we are there. Think about walking in a shopping street, what are you compelled
to do in that place. This happens in every place we go to, the energy of that place touches us
and when we are not aware of it we follow that energy and behave according to that energy.
Being aware means feeling it and not explaining it to yourself, go somewhere and feel and
listen to place and write down for instance what a place tells you. This is a good way to learn
reading places, the same is possible with people. Everything is an energetic book that can be
read, a story that is told, but only few can really understand or read it.
Everybody is able to learn to do this, read anything and change into it to be part of that world.
Usually we do this without thinking, we think that we think but we are guided by our personal
story to do the things we do. This is the place where the word 'destiny' comes in. There is no
such thing as destiny, it is a choice to reach that certain goal, a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The imprinting of our family story can be equated with the word 'Karma'. Karma is not a
positive thing, it a burden we take on because of the imprinting of our family story.
Through energetic healing, the medicine way and other healing and cleansing methods we
cleanse ourselves of the family story, or karma and learn to be our self. Which means you
could be or do anything in the world because there is no sorry to hold you back.

Love and light,

 ***

Lets be naked !

Secrets kill. Five years ago or there abouts I was very interested in everything Maya and
found out Hunbatz Men was the head elder. I tried to contact him and I did, not that I expected
it, but it happened. Had a long talk with him about life and living with all kinds of abilities.
Everything I had not talked about in normal life. It was normal to deny my real self to get
somewhere. Hunbatz Men said the secrets were killing me, I think he was right, but I had
always lived this way, could not think of living differently. No more secrets, he writes, he
says.

No more secrets. Now, these days I am speaking, I am writing what I have done, learned,
people I have met. On Hyves and on Myspace I am writing to get my memory straight, let
everything fall in its place. I write in English because, I am not as fluent writing in Dutch as I
was in the past. I have tiptoed around everybody for most of my life and now I am sick of it.
The spiritual side of my life is the most important part of my life and could not give it its
place in the world. Now I give it a place in my life, I talk about it with my clients, at work, at
school and make it an issue.

Para-normal or the Other-side of life. It is normal in our society to joke about it, joke about
spirituality, lightwork, sorcery, magic but many people know the merits of these ways of
living. They use these ways to shape their lives, for luck, money, the man or woman they
want, put pressure on others, use others. The 'Other' side of life has a place in our society and
it always had a place in society. The word 'Other' is taken from the books of Sergei
Lukyanenko. It describes people who experience life differently and have abilities the normal
populace does not know about or laughs about. Reading the "Daywatch" quadrilogy I
experienced and read how 'Others' lived and I found the parallels to my own life.
One thing was different I am unable to use these abilities to get ahead, use or abuse people
because I needed or wanted too. I am a highly moral person. I know it is a mental thing, there
is no rule against using your abilities to have a good life, even when you have to use
others/normal populace. Although this is normal practice in our society, to use anything to get
to your goal whatever that is.

Groups, churches and societies. Being part of a group or society can be helpful in this respect.
Since the 18th century these groups have been formed, evolved, disappeared, resurfaced and
infiltrated society in all echelons. This has been going on since the relative stability of Europe
was established. The state/government and church were in the beginning the groups and
societies that used these abilities to herd the societies they were part of. 
Anyone, who wants to be anyone has to play the game, be part of groups or societies to get a
place in society. We do not need an Illuminati, groups or societies do not have feelings, they
are just blocks of power that are used for stability and pushing their people in the right
positions.

My nakedness. I have been naked in that respect, I never belonged to a group, I knew all the
right people, always had access to the right people but I did not want to tie myself down into a
group with a certain objective. These days I have been accepted in many groups and societies,
not because I need it but because they offered me safety and protection. Because we are
humans in the first place and get crazy once in a while, some of us, like to fight and use their
abilities against others. My connections let me live my life, I don't ask for anything, when I
need something it turns up in one or another guise and that is a nice thing.

My mission. My thing, mission is to make spirituality, illumination, ascendance something to

talk about. It is a factor in our lives and it can be difficult growing up, learning about all these
things and figuring it out on your own. I will make it a thing to talk about, let people laugh at
me for representing this fact, attack me whatever.......I am not afraid to be naked. Talk about
my life, show what I am about and even that I can make mistakes, but hey I don't care about
making mistakes. By trying to be balanced, being balanced and harmonious yourself, you also
have to incorporate imperfections, they are not flaws, they make you that perfect being.
So try to be naked, by comfortable with your flaws and everything will work out. If you want
to !

Love and light,

***

The magical landscape or discovery of the invisible landscape.

Most native peoples around the world have a magical landscape, a world that lies under the
world that we inhabit. These are usually places that help them remember their forefathers or
places that have witnessed something special happening. Like the caves of Madonna of
Fatima, Lourdes, Externsteine, menhir fields, dolmen fields, a forest, a lake, a tree, an old
church, they are all markers in the magical and invisible landscape.

Parallel world. When the Christian faith came to our lands churches were build on our pagan
temples, built amid our sacred groves, our holidays were christened, Santa Claus is the druid
giving presents and telling stories, the Christmas tree is still the ritual to give us a good
harvest, abundance and luck in the new year, all saints is still the day that we can encounter
our forefathers. The magic is still in our lives, we just need to be aware of it and intend some
of those truths to be true. When you are on a high way and you look into a field and see three
trees you can accept, decide and acknowledge that that is a sacred place. Whenever there is
mist flowing over the country side, the wall between worlds is thin and one can encounter
anything possible.

The fifth dimension. There is another way to return the magic, to recreate the invisible
landscape. Find the old places and cleanse them with your rituals and/or lightwork, find and
sacralise new places, places that call you and use them for healing and cleansing works.
This work has been performed for some twenty years now, since the Harmonic
Convergence(1987). Many cities, villages, towns have been cleansed and have been showing
a light symbol as their signs.

Worlds within worlds. Look at the world around you, buildings are just caves and huts,
skyscrapers are just mountains with caves in them, our cars are just carriages with the horses
bound within them, canals and rivers are the veins of the earth. Our world has not changed,
we did not change only the tools we use have changed. We lost the eye and mind that kept the
magic in our life. The magic never really left, it just retreated to be discovered again in this
time.

Revival and awakening. We have to retrain our minds to see the magic again, it is in the
flowering of blossoms, in the sunlight breaking through clouds and touching the earth with its
beaming fingers, hearing a woodpecker working on its nest, seeing deer crossing a field while
you pass by car or train, frogs and crickets singing on a summer evening, the wind touching
the grass, sparrows flying over your head swirling and singing.

Healing and cleansing visualisation. How do you cleanse and reactivate new and old places.
The one act anyone can perform is the activation of the sacred geometry around the place you
deem important.
Just by using the simple words; I am awareness, god, goddess, mother, father, source activate
the sacred geometries around this place, activate (5), Let the merkabah around this place
speed up to 90% the speed of light NOW, activate (5)
The sacred geometries will help cleanse the place of all negativity it has gathered over the
years. Keep doing this once day for a month and the place will change.

Change your world. From friends in America I learned that everything is sacred. By treating
everything as something sacred we start to live in a different world, human society has lost its
way, our tools are not to blame. Reprogram your mind you walk in a sacred world, let there be
magic in everything you do, in smiles, greetings, actions and words. It starts with the right
thinking, it is followed by the right words. Train yourself to think right and speak right, ban
negativity from your mind and from your speech. This leads to discipline and control which
leads to empowering yourself. The magic you are able to perceive in the world around you
gives you power.

Creating a new world. The aborigines of Australia live in a spiritualized and ancient world,
they keep it alive with their stories and by visiting the places of the ancients. We can do the
same in our own countries. We do not need pyramids, we have churches, dolmens, menhirs,
hunebeds, forests, rivers, lakes.......that ask to be spiritualized, to be part of the magical
landscape. There are places all around you that are waiting to be discovered, cleansed and
spiritualized with your thoughts and words. Then it is time to tell others about it,, share the
places with them, share ceremonies and rituals with them in those places. Write about them,
tell about them where ever you can. Let others come from other countries and share your
ceremonies and rituals, celebrate those places, celebrate in those places.

The healing and cleansing of my hometown. This is how an old rose that was withering, shed
its darkness and its petals started to shine again, just because someone started caring, then
more started caring and its light shone beyond its borders touching other places.
I live in that rose, have been sharing the work with others, giving us a reason to stay, to keep
the rose fresh and the life juices flowing, from her stem into her petals. This is how we can
revitalize the invisible landscape, revisit our ancestors in a way without having to become as
our ancestors.

Act by example. We have to be realistic, the energies in our world are changing, we can not
hold on to old ideas. The stories we know are understood differently in every age, every
century because of the energies around us. As a Toltec friend told me, western man nailed
himself to a cross of destiny and karma, but we can be totally free of it when we choose to be.
But we are so much in love with our mask, the story we play out in the world, that we are
prisoners of the stories of our ancestors, family, country,etc........karma we unknowingly
embrace. We keep punishing our self for crimes we did not commit, we have been doing so
for centuries.

Awakening and awareness. Become aware, free yourself of the bonds of your story, return the
magic to your world and share it with those who want to hear about it. Do not waste your
energy on those who cannot understand, be the example for others. Be the mirror to others, let
them have a glimpse of what they can be and they will come when they are ready to enter a
new and magical world. In this world there are also computers, movies, DVD’s, cd's emotions
and interesting abilities. A spiritual person still has fun is his or her life.

Two worlds collide. This magical world has been part of my life for as long as I can
remember, sometimes I drift deeper into it, sometimes I am much closer to the so-called real
world. But I will always keep that connection to the magical and invisible landscape if only to
remember that human society is not the desolate place it seems to have become. Society has
become so heavy with old and negative energies that it keeps a lot of people locked in their
life and we, you, can tell them about the magic right in front of them, where ever they go.
It will give hope and a drive to those that need it, when they feel desperate.

Love and inclusiveness. In the magical invisible landscape there is no desperation, no

hopelessness, only challenges and infinite possibilities. The beauty of knowing and seeing the
magical invisible landscape gives power and is the reward for those that want it and can live
with it.

Love and light,

***

Relationships or relationshipwrecks.

Today was a sunny day, laying in the grass near a lake, watching people, working on my tan
and swimming to cool off a bit.
Listening to the crowd i was with, at six home and i got the perspiration for an alchemy story.

Everybody wants a relationship, is in one and many are acting they are in one. What does it
mean to be in a relationship. Being with someone you love, being with someone you tolerate,
being with someone you settle for, the soulmate, the punchingbag, the teammate, your better
halve, your personal cheering squad.
yes i throw those things out there, because i see them all around me.

Many are in relationships, women and men, woemen and women, men and men, one is the
topdog and the other follows. In the best relationships you see that tasks are shared and/or
divided between the partners because the one doing them is best suited for the tasks. In real
relationships these acts are ackow;edged by the other partner. In most relationships one of the
partners takes the brunt of all the work because the other partner does not take the
responsability and leeches on the other partners good will/love.

In a healthy relationship both partners can be themselves, have their own pursuits and do not
have to put them on the backburner, which mostly happens. There are allways good excuses to
take a step back and loosing the balance in the relationship. In healthy relationships these
choices are worked out by talking about them, mostly one partner is bullied in to it by the
other partner because of an old pattern they are playing out. These patterns can be called
drama's, stories that are used or played out by one of the partners which makes it impossible
to have a balanc3ed relationship. It is not really a relation, it is just a ship with two and
sometimes more people on it and one of the partners is terorrising the other(s) because of bad
upbringing, abusive parents, bad experiences in their lives that taint the whole relationship.
These patterns make it impossible to have a relationship, there is no balance, just one taking
and others giving untill it breaks, breakups, divorces, cheating, etc.

We have to be, have to become aware of how we are in contact with others. How do we feel
being with the other, how do we act with the other, can we be our self with the other, does the
other give us the space to be ourself and most importantly do we like to be that person we are
when we are with that special person.
If the answer is 'NO', there is something wrong in your relationship. Yes i know, some of you
reading this start to think about excuses, imprinting lies into your own mind, telling yourself it
is good to stay in that lopsided relationship, that you have special purpose in that relationship,
that you are needed. Being needed is not being yourself, it means denying yourself, your own
life for an other.

A good partner gives you the space to be your self, you have to work at talking about it,
because most men are not really good at it. They can learn to, if you learn to speak his
language.
You have to talk about what is possible, if living with the other gves you the same satisfaction
the other experiences.
No, i am not talking about sex here. Sex is the easy part. Everybody can have sex with
another, but that does not mean that it is the start of a relationship or that it gives meaning to
the realtionship.

Having a relationship is working at being an equal partnership. Yes, here come the clichees, it
is give and take. In some relationship men are the takers in others the women are the takers.
The other is just there to take the punches, whatever form they may take, emotional,
psychological or physical.

In most realtionships there is something going on, but hey living together for so long, why
bother talking about, i got used to it, i do not need that much, i am okay with it for
now.......................untill the other partner feels the tension he neeeded is gone and will find
another partner. He or she will find another partner to play out the drama, untill they get bored
with that relationship.

The best gift you can give yourself and your partner is to look at what makes your relationship
tick. Who benefits the most, why is it happening, what kind of feelings and actions are
involved and are you both happy with the 'Status Quo'.

Breaking the drama, the pattern will change your life, everybody has got a drama, in some it
is more pronounced than in others. In everybodies relationships the baggage plays a part and
usually not the part that is healthy for both partners. Usuallly just one partner is benefitting in
the relationship.

The new fashion is that people talk, what they want, where they are going, what they are like.
I mean people who are not looking for an accessory or a trophy but someone who
complements them. In true relationships partners complement eachother, both partners give
and take and have their own share in the partnership without denying themselves their own
dreams.

Generations before us sat it out, lets not do that, lets show we can do better, lets show we treat
eachother better. Lets break the old patterns, you are not your father, you are not your mother,
they only put you in to this world, you have a choice, you have a brain, feelings, intuition,
men and women both. You know when things are off in your relationship, do something about
it. Stop hurting yourself, stop hurting the other, use your common sense.
If you have to ask another if you relationship is okay, if what is happening okay..........then you
are allready in the place where you have to make a choice. Are you going to live for the other
or with the other.

A relationship is a partnership and not servitude.

Everybody working for a boss knows what this means. So are you in a partnership or are you
the maid, the doormat or the sextoy of the other.
If one of these three is the answer it is time to make a choice. The other does not acknowledge
you, he or she only acknowledges your services. You are more than just that, You are a person
with dreams, ideas and feelings that need to be acknowledged. If the other does not give you
that space, does not acknowledge you as the unique person you are it is time to get out.
Out there there is a person who wil treat you as you deserve to be treated.

Well, i think there enough ideas in here to think about, push you into action or make you relax
because non of the heavy stuff touched you. I hope most of you are of the latter category be an
example to others how a real or true relationship does work.

Love and light.

***

"Stranger in a strange land" on loan from mister Heinlein.

Now a few years ago i read the book 'Stranger in a strange land' by Robert Heinlein. It is
about a man who grew up on Mars. This meant that he felt and thought as the martians.

More and more i feel like the alien here. Most of my life i have been refining myself, working
on myself and when i was 17 years old or so my teachers told me that it was enlightenment i
was working for.
To me it was learning to live with my ability to read anyone, thoughts and emotions. My
parents were not open towards this idea so others took me under their wing.

First i had to learn who i was, secondly i learned to see through the socalled society i am
living in.
I worked through my family patterns, recapitulating everyday and studied everything about
human society, history, religion, psychology, etc.

I learned and discovered that everybody lives by patterns, usually disfunctional patterns and
some by functional patterns. Those who life by functional patterns glide through life easily,
usually from families with money or in the right social stratum. This is just a small percentage
of society, they are the people who usually end up as civil servants and or corporate people. A
group that serves it self and its families.
The largest group is the group that is the workforce, the people who manual labour, the people
that keep the machine really running.

I went through the illumination stuff, worked my ass of to cleanse myself of anything that
could be in my way to see everything clearly,as everything really is. I am there and now, what
to do, being enlightened or having these abilties of clearvoyance, clearaudience, telepathy and
psychometry and more stuff that cannnot be explained.
In this society it is a burden, it is not acknowedged, not in the open anyway. Lynn V. Andrews
says that our enlightenment is a gift to humanity. I love the gifts, the abilities but for years
now i have offereing all kinds of services to the world around me but they make me feel an
alien.
Because of my abilities i have become so well adjusted that i have become aware of the
schizoid nature of our own civilisation.
How robotic everybody has become, so easily swayed by emotions or enslaved by all kinds of
rules and these days the checks and balances, that the humanbeing is loosing its worth, is not
counted in the equation.

I rarely get mad, angry, i feel anger is a waste of energy it is better to find a solution to a
problem than to waste energy on anger. I think feel that most humans love their emotions;
anger, agression, hate, desperation, sadness to much to let them go.
I never cuss or swear, also wastefull energy. There are better ways to spend our energy,
finding solutions to the problems/challenges that are given to us.

I have been working most of my life to be a better human being, to find out that i became
more being than human. Or i should perscribe to the notion of many native peoples that i have
become human and was not before. Something to think about.

These days i am asking myself, why did i do it, why did i give myself to this cause of
enlightenment. what did it do for me !?
Because it is not comfortable to see everybodies' feelings, thoughts, weaknessess, problems
and ony just by being with them, looking at a fotograph, listening to them talking.
There is so much uncertainty in almost all people, everybody holding on to something to give
them some security. While this is not necessary, peoples heads are so full of stuff that is
keeping them back, some much negativity that is holding them back, so many thoughts and
ideas that keep them form being themselves.

I have given most of my life to the search and understanding of enlightenment, but it does not
seem to fit in our western society.
I wish that all the schools and masters i spoke and attended had given or sent me diploma's or
certificates and i would be able to paper a wall four by four meters, but my attainment is
internal and has little use or meaning in our technological paradise.
There are days that i feel i wasted my years for nothing and there are days i love being the
being i am.

I wish the technological en the enlightened could come together and get past the politics,
these to can create a better world, but money is still more important, being someone important
is still more important, to own a lot of stuff is still very important.

What is really important !?

Positive thinking, love, working together, health............what is really important...........

As a kid i thought about a utopia, but that is not realistic, we have to account for human
nature, the lust, the hunger, unchecked emotions, fear.
We would not be able to live in a utopia, after we created it, we would also destroy it because
of what we are.

I have become a stranger in a strange land, just like John Smith i have to market my
experiences to teach others hat life can be like. That we are all in a way superheroes, who
forgot they had/have superpowers. It takes a little time and effort to be your real being, free of
destiny and karma.

Who dares to follow me, to be free and discover a new kind of seeing and feeling. Who dares
to say no to money and ambition and discover the talents and powers that are hidden in
you..........................

I do not expect and answer, only laughter because that is the world we live in. Internal
achievements do not count for much in the world, because that is the world we have created
with eachother and we are not willing to change.
We can only change when our society, our way of living is really in danger and then it will be
to late.

But hey, this is just chatter, it does not mean anything, this is just me writing my book.
Sharing my experiences, thoughts and feelings, i dare to be naked before you.

Love and light.

That sweet emotion (Aerosmith song), a critique.

Emotions, we are all aware of them, most of experience the whole aray of them.

What are emotions, where does it begin and what happens next...........
Early on in life we learn the right emotional responses to situations in our life and how we can
use emotions to things done.

In these words above is the whole clue about emotions, they are learned responses to certain
situations. You will experience them the way you have programmed yourself to experience
them as you connected them to situations in your life.

But we can choose to break certain emotional habits like anger, sadness, fear, revenge. Why
sulk when you can choose a more positive way of dealing with that situation. The emotions
mentioned above are all about the 'ego' that got hurt or feels pushed in a corner.
We can choose to be balanced in every situation, even when a situation is unsettling. It is
allowed to get angry or to cry once in a while but there is not really a need for it.

Rise above the feelings and thoughts that rush you at a certain moment in time, watch the
thoughts, feel the feelings and then with your intuition make the choice................does it serve
you to be angry, mad, sad, to cry.
How does experiencing the emotion serve you, is it just a release or is it a pattern that keeps
repeating itself.
If the last thing is the case, you are reinforcing that emotional behaviour, deepening the
groove in the record of your behavioural patterns. This means this costs you a lot of time and
energy and experiencing it does not serve you.

Most people are not aware of their behaviour, they live their life, acting out their pattern
without knowing that they can change their life. As everybody must know by now by our way
of thinking and acting we create a world, this world creates that what we call a self fullfilling
prophecy.
Those with a negative worldview will only experience a negative world, those with a positive
world view get through rough patches more easily and have more positive things coming
towards.

It all starts in our head, the way we choose to see the world, is the way we will experience it.
The way we think, makes us act in a certain way showing the world around us what kind of
person we are. The emotion you choose to project is the one that will attract from the world.

I learned that it is more helpfull not to get angry or sad but do something about the situation
that created the emergence of the thoughts and feelings that want to make me mad or sad.
Acknowledge the thought/feeling and choose to act in a way that serves you to get to your
goal.

I forgot to speak of happiness, what is that state, feeling. Is it that what we see in the
neighbours house, what we see on tv/the movies or is it that what makes us feel good.
Many people these days cannot be happy, because their ideas of happiness have nothing to do
with realistic wants and needs.
People are always hungry for more which makes it impossible for them to ever be really
happy.
In some cases alcohol and/or drugs makes it even worse, deeepening the groove of a certain
feeling. Making it even harder to change the way to get more positive situations in life.

Emotions can be enjoyed, all of them, when you know where they came from. When you
know where your emotions come from they can be a release and even enjoyed as you
experience them. But this is not easy because you have to be honest to yurself and dare to
look at your light and dark sides and acknowledge them.

Knowing yourself helps to break old emotional patterns that hold you back and enjoy them
without being carried away by them.
This is what the great work is about, knowing yourself and reprogramming yourself towards
being happy.
Positive thinking changes your life and your emotions and you will become less hungry for
more.

It is easy to let yourself be controlled by your feelings, but it does not make you happy and it
does not change your life.

Look at the buddha, he lives in all of us, his smile makes the world into a different place, his
smile can be your smile. His friendliness can be yours, opening doors for you, his positivity
reshapes your wolrd. Problems change into challenges that can be easily met.
You can have any kind of deity in your heart, that shines a light on the patterns of your life
which gives you the insight and the choice to change your behaviour and therefore your life.

We are not prisoners of our emotions, only when we let them control us. Choose to be in
control and choose which emotions you want to experience, when they serve you.

Love and light.

The Toltec groupstructure.

The toltec groupstructure we have learned about by Carlos Castaneda and Theun mares was
an invention for a stressfull age in which the conquistadores hunted down all priests who did
not accept the christin faith and destroyed all the books. Many of the priests laid down all the
trappings of their office and started to live among the people to keep the knowledge save from
the bearded barbarians. It was clear to them that all the knolletje they had gathered in
successive ages was in danger of getting lost.
The groupstructure was a way for the toltec scientiststo explore other wolrds and venture into
space, exploring planets and the galaxy. The scientistshad gathered the surviving priests and
their pupil and discussed the probleem at hand. Unanimously tey decided to start the groups
acoording to a certain configuration of eight persons with one simple purpose; to hold and
protect a part of the knowledgelletje. The group would consist of a nahual(leader),
man/woman of intent and six others, four man and four women to keep the group balanced.
Another distsinction was that of the dreamers and the stalkers, the first were highly
unpredicatable in their behaviuor and the seconde were more rational which gave the group
the balance it needed to hold the knowledgelletje and pass it to another generatio.
The toltec discovered that stalking of the outsider world became a necesity because of the
conquistadores hunting them. Secondly they discvered that stalking of the self was beneficia
for all group members. Especially in training the next generator they noticed that pupils
learned faster and could hold more knowledgein their bodies.
After two centuries, around 1700 AD, they discovered the side effect of the group being.
Because being working together, dependend on eachother, linked them as close or closer than
bloodties, men and women lost their sense of self and the navul had to take care of the group
as a father his children. Seven individuals became slave to one mind and this was, is, to
difficult for a nahualto carry out. Once in a while a group could go rogue and abuse their
knolletje and powers. Then the Toltec elders would come together and decide what to do.
Usually the navul would be killed and his group members would be retrained or killed,
depending on their age.
Now in the 21th century the groupstructure is not needed or necessaire animeren. The
knowledge that had to be kept secret is slowly seeping into the mainstream because of the
media and scientific advancement in the fields of psychology and kwantum physics are
proving the tenets of toltec knowledge.

The city disease.

Every place has spirit, an energy that defines a place, a building, a certain spot. People who
use the spot, place give the energy that mitaines the spirit of it. believing the spirit of a place
gives it its power, the bigger the place is, the more people it touches. Every place also has a
lifecycle; birth, ageing, death.
A spiritual sensitive can read any place and say where it is going, what the life sppan ius of a
place.
The olmec, maya and toltec wre aware of this fact, only religiious/scientific buildings were
made of stone. All other housing facilities were purposely built of wood and thatch. A good
exempel of this is Teotihuanaco of which only the walls are still standing. The olmec, maya,
toltec noticed that the nature of people changed when living in great communities. Violence
and crime rose in densely populated areas, people needed things to do as city life made them
lazy and unruly. Having many people together, being and feeding one spirit, intendig one idea,
made the spirit of man colder and indifferent to others. Every city is a powerhouse of intent
which Works on the peope iin it and visiting it.

Our intent.

Intent is motivation and t

Is motivation is built from all our touches, peelings and ideas about zuursel and the wolrd we
live in. Ussually we inherit our intent from our family and the society we live in.
This program is ingrained in us because we live with these people, in this society. Parenting,
school and the media also help indringing the program.
In adolescense we find out that the program is not us, the time most of us try to find our true
self. Only a few really will reach that goal, most of us will only be better evolved versions of
our parents. Why, because we still carry around the intent of our parents and family.
The reason we rebell is that most sensitives feel that they are running the wrong or faulty
program. This leads in some cases to schizofrenie or psychoses.
Many of the adolescent youths do not rebel and just follow the program of going out, dating
and drinking.
Many youths do not have the intelligence and insight to find out where the probleem come
from and follow the cycle of their parents. As mind and rationalist rules, all humans are good
at denying twijfeling and intuition. This leads to disease and psychosociaal probleem later in
life. In earleir chapters i described what you can do to find or create your own intent or dream.

The mind.

What is mind, it is the capacity to catalogue and register patterns in the worlD around us. A
high IQ means that you have a greater awareness of patterns and a greater capacity to thin in
abstractions. Our mind is also shaped by the world we grow up in, this can create imitators or
possibilities in our life.
Mind is just a collector of experiences, it is our choice to live by the perceived lidfestory. All
experiences are connected to touches and emotieloos which gives them prominence in our
lives. It is like creating a record, we create the groooves by acting in a certain way, the groove
deepens, intensifying a certain feeling and behaviour. The older we get, the more difficult it is
to change our behaviour or rthought. Mind shapes how we bereide the wolrd and what we
expect from the wolrd.
Normal mind is fixed to a lineair, logic rational cycle, because we expect or expected it to be
so. With the tools of the spiritual path we have got the possiblity to reprogram the mind.
We can erase limieten programlines and by intending it, evoke it often, we change our life.
It is very important to study your behaviour patterns, to find out which behaviour creates
possibilities and what creates limitations. In this evaluation of behaviour you should not use
psychosociaal classifications. Look at it abstractly; trigger, action, consequences; what
touches appear, what kind of peelings are connected to the situation, what do you think and
feel afterward.

Start a New kind of diary, only describing the patterns to find the thread oof your life. You
will find out that it is connected to parents, family and friends you interact with.
After a while you discover that they are all sequensen of behaviour connected to touches and
feelings. You choose a pattern, a situation you would lie to change. Describe what you will
change and how you are going to do it. The next step is describing you acting in that situation
as you want to react and what the favourable result is. Write this on a piece of paper, carry it
with you, read it every morning and evening untill you noticed it has changed.
This way you rewrite your personal program and you mae it your personal program.

I noticed that letting go of logic, rationalism and time you freedom. Choosing positivist,
seeing the positive side of everything, change limitting formulations of words into positive
strings. Teach your (self) mind to see mor sides to every situation, expand your mind by
teaching yourself to see more than what is good for you.

The dome.

Carlos Castaneda has told us about the dome, a world where the ancient seers went they left
our world. The dome is a world created by the ancient seers, a kind of after-life or in case a
further-life. Somesay this place is situated in or on Sirius, in actualist it is not of this plane of
existense.
The ancient seers have been retreating to this place untill the 16th 17th century. At that time
their world and the word of the earth Generations changed. individualist and personal
inventaris changed the Toltec way. Those on earth kept contact with the elders in the dome.
The ancient seers saw and accepted that theirway was different from the Generations after the
conquest. The retreat to the dome would be a prison to the young. The ancient seers and the
elders decided they would guard and close the dome for the young Generations. Anyone who
tries to reach and enter the dome will be stoppend by guards and sent back. Once in a while a
young seer is invited to enter, he or she is instructed in the history and knowledge of the
ancients. Many think that only Toltec live in the dome, but all humanere can be found in the
dome.
The dome is a kind of living Library of science and religion of all humanraces from the
beginning of time up till 16th, 17th century. The final and last group that entered were siberian
shamans killed in the gulags in the 20th century.
The decision to close the dome is t help the modern seers to adapt the knowledge to the new
age of man. The ancient became aware that their mysticisme was a indiaanse for the new
Generations. Just as te groupstructure has become a indiaanse in the adaptation and
advancement of the knowledge to the new age and the new kind of seers. From the outside the
dome loos like a footbalstadium with a domed roof among mountains. The dome ha been
created by the inhabitants and is maintained by those who live in it. in the dome one can find
jungles, desserts, seas,rivers, etc. Time has no meaning in there, they have intended the
seasons and they own starry sky as they remembered it.
They can transform themselves, into animals, men, women, old, young. They are all very
playfull, like to joke, seem free of worry but carry the burden of maintaining the dome. They
can never leave it.
 *

Exploring physical love.

You embrace anything and everything that turns up infront of you. The only thing that could
be a turn-off is negative energy, a negative vibe. The dislikes and likes a person sends out into
the world by being this matrix of thought and feeling. The seeker, finder does not have this, he
or she is a tabula rasa, a clean slate to the world. He, she lets the one who encounter him, her
fill in the blanks. Usually one meetraint, they see a woman or a man, the rest is representation
and interpretator. The seeker, finder is totally aware of all those thoughts and feelings of the
human infront of them. The stance of the seeker, finder is emptyness, no likes or dialyses in
the way of its awareness. Humans struggle through life because of their likes and dialyses
limitting their awareness of the wolrd around them. Through sex we connect with another
being, its thoughts and feelings. In orgasme a man gives energy to a woman. By intending a
man can draw his energy back. Sex is next to te exchange of intimacy one of energy
transferal.

Completeness, emptyness, total recall.

The ultimate goal of the Toltec is to reach complements, also called emptyness. The man or
woman has worked at breaking the old programinch by discovering, acknowledging and
changing the old program. The new program is called, Inclusiveness or love, which means
balancing the male and female qualities in yourself and everything in the world.
Maleness can be see as the active, rational and forcefull part of the human being, making
things happen. The female side can be seen as the sensitive, emotional side, the creative side,
the place where the idea is born and projected into the world. The female side of us tries to
continue others instead of forcing something on others. In western society we have lost touch
with our sensitive side, intuition and only follow the socalled rational path.
By discovering the two sides in self, the male side of making things happen and the female
side of your intuitiveness you can make your self whole again.
By finding out who you really are, what your family programming is and changing and
erasing these programlines from your being you can reach your totality.

Popculture and spirituality.

What is popculture, popculture is anything that is produced and marketed to a great amount of
people. It has many formats, art, tv-programs, songs, music, books, comicbooks.

What is spirituality, is a thought proces that changes you, your life and the way you
experience the world.

What do these two have in common and why do i pair these two together.
I am sure that many who read this have already started an extensive library on spiritual topics,
fitting to their own spiritual likes.
After a while you start noticing that some spiritual ideas, thoughts , images appear around
you, on tv, the media etc.
This is a sign that your mind has been succesfully reprogrammed by you.
Some people see signs everywhere around them, but it is important to be carefull with these
signs. Sometimes a bird is just a bird, a rose just a rose, etc.

There are other more stable signs around in our world. In rock songs you find a few lines that
can apply to your place/state in your ascendance/illumination proces. Every time you hear that
song you notice that the idea promoted in those lines/lyrics stays the same in your mind. This
means you have found a teaching tool. (example; 30 seconds to mars, song; "Edge of the
Earth") Another example is when you watch the sf tv-shows these days, you watch them, see
them a second time and you notice the theme of the show resonates with you, the idea of the
show resonates with you. If you notice that the idea of the show or the idea portrayed in the
show does not change you have found another teaching tool.

The interesting thing is that popular media are helping sending out new ideas into the world.
First ideas come across as science fiction but after a while you notice these ideas or products
have been integrated in (the thought processess of) society. Like Startreks' communicators,
most of us are carrying a mobile around these days.

Singing about spirituality and tv-shows and movies about mindshattering and groundbreaking
ideas help to change the mind of a lot of people. Even people who are not aware of the
inherent value or meaning of a few songlines or the idea of a movie/tv-show get a dose of the
new mindset. When a lot of people, tv, magazines and the internet discuss the ideas it gets
more disseminated, its gets more momentum, reaching an even greater audience. As i wrote in
an other chapter, we do not only carry ideas in our heads but also in our body field, which
extends a meter or more around you depending on where you are in your awakening process.

Some examples of art with a message are:

Wagner; Die Zauberflote (opera)

Isaac Asimov; Foundation series (sf novels)
Robert Heinlein; Stranger in a strange land (sf novels)
Arthur C. Clarke; 2001 and others (sf novels)
Frank Herbert; Dune series (sf novels)
Chris Carter; X-files (tv-show)
Wachowski brothers; The matrix trilogy (movies)
Gene Roddenberry; Startrek (sf tv-shows and movies)
Michael J. Strakzcynski; Babylon 5 (Tv-show)

And there are more examples to be named of tv-shows, movies, operas and songs that deliver
messages and ideas to us.
Some ideas are directly understood and others take time before they can be understood and
felt. The important thing about the idea is that it does not change its meaning when you revisit
the idea or its delivery system.

Popular media (books, movies, comicbooks, tv-shows, songs) can be and are used by writers
to introduce new ideas into the world.
These media can be used to introduce spirituality or discoveries in science to an audience that
is not really interested in spirituality but does like a new vista on life. Popular media broadens
our view on the world and if you watch the right kind of media feeding you the ideas that
expand your mind.
That is what spirituality is really about, expanding your mind, your consciousness to be aware
of a different world around us, a world that gives us more powers, abilities and possibilities.
To a world that is in a certain way pliable, changeable and rewritable if you choose it to be so.

*
My teachers.

I have been luck, every decade i was introduced to new teachers who helped expanding my
awareness and live with it. It started when i was introduced to the Toltecs, when i was six
years old. After that i travelled up and down North america with my teacher and was
introduced to the native american medicine people. In the eighties of the 20th century i took
part in the Cleargreen ‘Tensegrity’ (magical passes) classes.
When i was twenty years old i got my first boost, i had become complete, i had remembered
all instance of my life up to then. My toltec teachers told me to relax and live my life. I did as
was asked of me, but it was difficult, my awareness, thinking had changed. I tried to explain it
to others, but i could not clearly explain it. Ten years i tried to devote myself self to living,
mine was a rock n’ roll kind of life. I liked the people, lifestyle and music.

But i was still drawn to enlightenment and awareness enhancement. I read stacks of books to
understand what had happened and what made me the enlightened or Melchizedek being.
Melchizedek was an ancient Jewish priest who ascended, he left an order based and founded
on his teachings. Melchizedek awareness can be equated with Christ consciousness or Buddha
consciousness. The melchizedek is a priestly or teacher role. The title is not given by humans,
the title is offered by Source or the ascended to the earthborne to carry in the human world.
Every melchizedek is free in his or her choice to give service to the humanrace. There are no
rules, only the service to those who ask for help.
In the first years of the 21st century i discovered my roots with the maya in the Yucatan. I met
the Itza and Lacandones and they were impressed by me. I still felt like a stupid white man,
with all my questions. I was the younger brother, one of the ‘green’ white men they were
waiting for. I talked to the elders, curanderos, and herbalists, asking about the kalenders, the
‘Popol Vuh’ and ultimately about the stars and the milky way.
In 2005 i was called to a council of elders in the Yucatan. The elders had been talking about
me, hearing of my travels in Yucatan and what i talked about with all those i met. They
decided I should initiated in the Star Elder mysteries.

The ritual entailed that i was connected to the constellation that belonged to me. I was brought
to a certain piramid at night. My whole body was smoked with copal resin to cleanse my body
of negative energies. After the smoking, the elders asked me to lay on a stone slab and they
stood around me. They laid hands on me and started singing, i looked at the starry sky. My
eyes swept across the sky, my eyes drifted to same constellation every time, the constellation
Orion. At a certain i felt a tug on my belly and i saw a string of light come from the sky from
the middle of the constellation Orion, connnecting us.
The story of my coming to earth returned to me, I remembered, i looked at my body and saw
the blackblue skin of the panther. The elders told me;’You are Star Jaguar’. From that moment
on i knew my soul and my purpose.

*
Jungle dreams.
I remember making and Wearing bands around my upper arms, wrists and ankles, some
fifteen years ago. These days memories return in short flashes; longhouses, hammocks, beings
with long hair, black and straight.
I am with two women with blond short hair, one calls me her son Alex. One is fidgety,
nervous, my ‘mother’ and the other laughs a lot.
I have been with these natives several times at different ages. The first time i was ziekten or
so, in my twenties and mid-thirties.
I love the Amazon, with this I men the whole jungled area of Brasil and Venezuela. My aunty,
traveling-mom, said she was born there, Venezuela.
My first girlfriend i had among the natives, the Yanomami or Shipibo, i cannot remember. For
a teenage boy, an adult in that society, it was normal and healthy to have a woman wife. Many
years later i returned and the girl had a husband and a little son.

I remember one name, his name was Warao, he was a shaman and he taught me about his kind
of shamanism. Just before he died, he called me to come and gave my spirit a face, it was the
black panther. It gave me a new boost of knowledge and power. He said that it fit because
only a few travelled so far to learn and sacrifice success in the world for knowledge. Later i
discovered there was more to it, black panther is, was, a powerfull guide and teacher, taking
me anywhere i wanted. Time and space meant nothing to it, going forward or backward in
time and after that returning full of new knowledge and energy. It has given me a name to call
it, it is Grau, he said; ‘become Grau and wear my face and nothing will be impossible’. I took
his face and hide brainstorming into that magical being i dreamed of as a child, the shamanic
healer who heals past hurts and divine future fortunes. This Grau reveiled over time, shaping
me into a perfect being, healing facilitator and shamanic psychotherapist.

It is only possible to heal someone if the other is open to the healing. The affected one must
come and ask to be healed. Warao would first talk with the patient to discover if the disease
was psychosomatic or purely fysical. While he talked, he would ‘see’ the body, places where
the body was affected would have a red glow. After talking and ‘seeing’ he would choose a
method to treat the patient.
He prepared his plant medicine always in total silence and when he was with the patient
administering the medicine he sang songs. In the song, a kind of prayer, he named the person,
the disease or affected bodypart and the plant with his healing qualities. His apprentice would
use a rattle, little drumm or two joysticks giving rythm to the song. This same practice i
witnessed in Siberia, North america, Mexico, Australia, Africa and new Zealand.
If a person had psychological problem, he would mostly talk with them. This meant that he
asked a lot of questions untill he found out what the orogin of the problem was. Through
‘seeing’ he knew what the problem was, but fora patient to heal it was important that he or she
could formulate the origine itself. When it had become clear, Warao would tell stories or sing
a song of the ancients, first people, to help the patient find a way out of this problem. The
mythological stores and songs are religion and science in one. (Cosmology, religion,
psychology, serologie, medicine)
In my studies and travels i noticed that all races have these matrixes of knowledge and use
them in the same way. Warao told me, simple stories are easier to remember, just tell them
often and the people will stay healthy. Every night in the longhouse stories were told
pertaining to things happening that day.

Warao told me that the white people lost their soul because they lost their origin stories.
Taking the stories and methods of ‘the people’or ‘beings’ would not return their soul. Like
trees without roots, alwyas wandering restlessly from place to place, never able to feel
happiness. A tree can only be replanted with its roots, story of origine intact. The white live in
their selfcreated ghostmountains, do not listen to the spirits and get sick because of the spirits
in the rocks. They have no origine, no soul, so they cannot hear them and live the lives of the
dead.
Learn to listen to the spirits, free them and send them to rest. Whiteman can find his origine,
his soul too, the es of the ancients are the lesson to create happiness and find your soul.

Kozyrev, shamanism and the barrier of time.

Shamanic stories are timeless, there are no reference points for time and seem to play out in
some imaginairy fantasy world. A world that is imaginairy and fantasia to us civilized
humans. To the shamans it is real and it meshes with our world of thinking. To the shamans
the world is full of spirits, full of energy telling stories of the past, the esent and a possible
future. Spirit is an internist, an emotion, a living vibrations, anything and evrything material.
The spirit of objects, places and of people can affect us, can make us do things we normally
would not do, but we get swayed in to it.
This spirit carrie past, present and future, it is cause for actions and behavioural patterns. The
ancient shamans found out that they could release these energies, freeing those affected to live
their own life.
While worng and learning they discoverd that they could reach thepast and future through
objects and certain places. Later they discoverd they could see in to other times without the
aide of an object or place. This ultimately meant they could send information to the past and
future. Teaching new shamans and to keep the old knowledge alive if there were
circumstances where shamans would die without being able to pass the knowledge on.

Nikolai Kozyrev was a sovietrussian scientists who under Stalins’regime was sentenced to the
gulags, sovietrussian work and deathcamps in Siberia. In these camps were criminals, priests,
scientists, shamans, all kinds of people who opposed the stalinist communism in thought,
word or deed. Here Kozyrev met shamans, who were imprisoned as religious dangers to the
communist state. The communist dogma was that religion was poison to the masses. He
learned from them their cosmology and the idea of NOW = NO-TIME.
In the now it is possible to see the past and the future. After Kozyrev was pardoned hestarted
working on the theorie and practice of this idea of now = no-time. He publised a few papers, i
think they were never translated or Publisher in the west. Based on this work a special tubular
mirror was built. Experimenting with this mirror scientists discoverd they could wacth into
the past and the future or create a mystical or spiritual experience for the person inside the
Kozyrev-mirror experimental set up.

This meant anyone could have thsi experience without years of training. It is like Michael
Harners’ idea of lifting the methods and tools out of the shamanic framework and giving us an
easier way to experience shamanic higher states of consciousness.

It all leads to us human beings being able to experience our true being which is timeless and
interdimensional.

*
Real taoism is dead, the tao revisited.

The tao is the all pervading force in the universe, it is in us and around us. The tao was
discovered and formulated by shamans in China. As the chinese developed their society the
name shaman, disappeared and the Taoists became sorteerders, healers, alchemist and
scientists. The study and practice of the tao was the onderstond to many of the sciences in
China. There are many stories about the ancient Taoists; traveling thrugh time and other
planets and other worlds, shapeshifting, walking on water, making it snow or rain,
immortality, creating for all kinds of disease. Only a few names are known, but there are
thousands of doings and sayings. I only sniffed at it through the ‘I ching’ translated by
Richard Wilhelm. I stumble upon it while i was reading C.G. Jungs’ autobiography.
I jsut started reading and saw and felt the beauty of that system, an approximation of the
living tao. It has the same kind of structure as the reenvisioned Mayan calendar of Jose
Arguelles. The ‘I ching’ gives us 65 facets or faces of the tao and an elemental cosmology.
In the nineties of the 20th century i met Theun Mares. I was introduced to him by some
friends from Cleargreen. They stated;’he is a scholar, like you’.
Theun and i talked way through spirituality and our growth untill we ended up at the tao. I
said;’I want to limit my scope to native american people, to keep it easy for my mind’.
He said;’the tao can only be studied from books, the real tao is dead’.
It stopped me in my tracks, feeling it as a dare, to find the ancient tao of China Today.
I took a map of China, picked up translated taoist books and set out to find real living Taoists
in China. The taoist literature gave me the scent and i found them.
Some were doctors, scientists, martial arts teachers, farmers, chemists and vagebond.
A few spoke English and with the others i spoke in images and with ad hoc sign language.
They told me that the tao still lives in the people but that Confucianism is safer as the
communist party does not like free thinkers, outside the box thinkers.
Confucianism is about order and hierarchy, the so-called natural order, everybody has his, her
place which details certain dities and allowances.
The tao is not about control, the tao is the force of nature, to big and at the same time to small
to comprehend.
The Taoists i spoke told me they were busy translading many old texts into modern chinese.
The new China had need of the knowledge of the tao because it created original thinkers.
Confucianism is thinking inside the box, taoïsme is thinking outside the box.
As i met and spoke with these people i discovered many similarities between the tao, native
american thought, upanishads, vedas, Hebrew kaballah, Buddhists dharma, tantrisme and
shamanic thought.
They all built a structure that approximated the knowable and unknowable in the universe
around us. Like the science of quantum physics is doing at this moment in time.
The one thing that was the same in all thought systems, matrixes, was the transformation or
transmutation of yourself into your true self.
This meant cleansing your body or bodies of all thoughts, ideas and feelings that were not part
of you. By emptying yourself of the false self one opened to the tao to receive power - energy
- from it and being free to live as one chose to live. Ultimately when i thought to stop asking
my questing for the tao i found Mantak Chia, a taosist doctor. A man who had the exact vibe
of taoïsm i felt in the literature. I introduced myself as a seeker of knowledge and illumination
and would like to talk with him. He looked me up and down, smiled and said;Ýou are
welkome old soul’, and invited me in. We drank tea and i told him about my studies and my
path. I told him i wanted to meet as much teachers as i could, to learn how i could live with
illumination.
He told me about his studies and what he found to be the biggelt problem in western society.
Western society is seksuele repressed which constituties for several fysical, mental and
societal problems. This depressivo creates blokkades in the fysical body of energy which has
an effect on the mind, body and society.
This breeds; insecurity, obesity, frustration, violence, perversion, war, consumerism and many
things more.
The body must be taken care of, if the energies flow as they could…..one would be able to be
one with the tao, find your way in the world.
‘An old soul like you, does not have to study and meet other teachers, you know all there is to
know‘.
It is the disease of the time, the western people seek their Salvador, their guidance in exotic
thought and places. They should listen to their hearts and intuition. They overlook the souls
like you, who are sent by the tao to instruct and heal their souls.
It is a kind of hysteric blindness, they feel the hunger and the emptyness and only a real native
american medicine man/woman, chinese acupuncturist, Mayan elder etc., etc., can fill the
void. They will leave as empty as they have come, prayerbeads, rattlers, flutes, prayermats
and statuettes of saints and gods will not change them.
They will learn that healing and teaching starts at home, exotic tools and methods can help,
but the will is theirs.
The western society will learn to look inside, find their soul again but accompanied by
teachers and healers found among themselves. Just like the ‘American dream’ died, the whole
west will learn that constructed systems fail, because they oppose laws of nature. The
humanrace is part of the system and therefore influenced by it.

While writing this chapter, this last bit, i was overtaken by the spirit of a teacher who has
passed on, ascended, he wanted this in the world. It is true, the West or a certain group of
people, go wild for exotic names, thoughts and places and by this act overlook the sacred or
the wise in their direct surroundings, environment. Just because it is to close, to white, to
strange o to familiar to accept it as real.

A Kogi triangle.