Possesiveness

Name : Monika Simatupang

NIM : 11170032

Entrepreneurship Program

Podomoro University

2018
 Possessiveness

Having a possessive partner sometimes makes us feel cared for and restrained at the
same time. They are possessive as if establishing a boundary wall for all your space. No
more leaving without saying goodbye. No more forgetting to give news of who to meet.
No more freedom of friends with anyone, because usually the couple will protest, when we
are friends with what he does not like.

In the face of problems that exist in everyday life possessive has many problems
that is like a trivial problem for self-protection of the relationship is very result in
possessiveness. Thus the occurrence of protection often occurs in men who curb the
attitude of his girlfriend. Similar things not only happen to men as well as women but also
this protection is damaging relationships with others. The issue of the tendency of a positive
attitude affects the alexithymia's psychological alienation which in many instances makes
the attitude of the person turns into a more terter not to trust the spouse. Position attitude
habits are also observed with the case posesiveness occurred in the cultural relationship of
school children in the picture of Javanese culture. Where the majority In Javanese culture
sense of to have will be more kuta there is a commitment in the form of marriage where
men have the authority over the couple. The sense of belonging is the beginning of self-
possession, while the current problem is the emergence of possessive behavior in romantic
love relationships in couples higher than women.

possessiveness can damage relationships that are in interlacing, even

communication will be awkward. To further understand it more deeply it can be done
positive thinking patterns and foster a sense of confidence with the couple.

Impacts that occur in this posesif cause a different paradigm in couples that result
in damage to the relationship with the couple. Trust is needed to suppress all bad thoughts
so that the couple becomes more comfortable with the togetherness and hungan that is
intertwined. This possessive understanding may elicit alexithymia's psychological sanctity
where romantic jealousy is often associated with the harmful or offensive effects of his
partner, on the other hand jealousy is associated with positive relationship outcomes such
as to increase commitment in dating relationships.

As concrete evidence that can be attributed from this possessiveness can be seen
from a study that deals about possessive ends with alexithymia's psychological gang.
Couples who tend to have alexythymia disorders are men because men are unable to
express their feelings when having a problem or being jealous of their partner . So that
more impact on emotions that have peaked because it still choose to bury what he felt so
far.

In addition, the importance for adolescents is to know the linkage of alexithymia to

jealousy. Most teenagers still do not understand some of the causes of the emergence of a
sense of jealousy that spawned the couple. According to Adityapraja in kompasiana, (2015)
explained that someone who has alexithymia disease is someone who is introverted
personality or quiet because they prefer to bury his anger when jealous of his partner. A
teenager may act to hurt her partner and not fully realize that she is wrong. But instead felt
that he was the most hurt person during a courtship relationship. The purpose of this study
is to determine the influence of someone who experienced alexithymia tendency with a
sense of jealousy. So in this study will find out how much influence caused by someone
with alexithymia tendency to jealousy that raised. Thus the teenagers who are undergoing
a dating relationship can avoid the tendency of alexithymia, in order to avoid acts that can
hurt their partner when experiencing a sense of jealousy. As well as the recent news there
are couples who harming same-sex couples and their own partner just because of excessive
jealousy, suicide because his partner turned to others and many more that can harm
themselves and others. Excessive jealousy is a feeling that is afraid of losing a partner
deeply and will do anything in venting the jealousy. Of the excessive jealousy that someone
will be more bury it alone, when his anger has peaked it will tend to hurt themselves or
others.
 From the result of research the possessive attitude megakibatkan psychological
disorders can be seen from Based on the research results can be concluded that there is a
very significant relationship between the tendency of alexithymia to jealousy in
relationship dating with the results of analysis that raises the value of correlation (r) of
0.651 with significance value (p) 0,000 ≤ 0.05. The higher the tendency of alexithymia in
a person, the higher the level of jealousy in the relationship of dating. The effective
contribution of alexithymia tendency to jealousy is 42,3% while for the rest that is 57,7%
influenced by other factor. Also in terms of sex, males have a high alexithymia inclination
rate of 48% than women and women have a high degree of jealousy of 54% than men. The
implications of this study include: For teenagers who are dating relationships are expected
to better understand and recognize his personal emotions well. So that will be able to reduce
the level of jealousy in a person and think that the boyfriend is his wholeness. It can also
provide an understanding that will establish a healthy relationship by not changing the
character of his partner, not possessive, and not set his partner in accordance with what is
desired. For the next researcher can continue this research by replacing jealous variables
with other variables, such as self efficacy (self efficacy) or violence. The next researcher
can also research with the same variables, but in the context of different relationships such
as friendship and in terms of personality type. Further investigators may also use different
subjects, for example in early adolescence or late adulthood.

By having a partner who possesses our possessive character as a woman or a man,

do not be overwhelmed. Try to understand in good condition. Directing positive and
healthy thinking. By using sound thinking all the events in the relationship will go well.

I think possessive will not damage the relationship also if from within ourselves try
to be able to understand the character of the couple. Usually the willingness to excessive
behavior is done by the couple with good reason with their partner. Or it could be because
the couple often can not make a couple believe or always a lot of lies.

In everyday life that I feel with a partner often arise possessive because it has a sense
of love and affection to a boyfriend or spouse. This action is natural to arise directly to the
couple. Things definitely know better to respond patiently and try to be frank to mutually
open with a partner.

Another opinion of the results of this conclusion can also be adjusted with better
conditions in a way how we can understand our partner well but not end with possessive.

Youth dating behavior is closely related to the attachment of the relationship

between children and parents built since the baby. That attachment determines the child's
perception of how he should be treated and how he should treat others. "Parents' responsive
attitudes will elicit the child's perception that no matter what happens, he remains
valuable," he said. He will do something because he has a purpose, not because he wants
to be respected. Responsive parents encourage children to be open, to tell any story with
their parents. That openness can be the entrance for parents to instill positive values,
including the dating and the risks. Uncomfortable parent relationships will result in
relationships with others, including boyfriends, who are uncomfortable. In fact, they are
difficult to get out of the courtship that cause stress. His true family is the place to go over
all the problems of teenagers. However, as the more lax value in society and the weakness
of the quality of education in formal institutions, the role of the family actually increasingly
subsided. In fact, only from a warm family, born tough teenagers who sailed the world,
including facing the problematic of love.

The problem is, teenagers and adults aged 18-22 years are often dating a different
purpose, ranging from just want to have fun, because the pressure of friends, for the sake
of pride, to want to experiment about sex. "In order for a courtship healthy, the purpose of
courtship should be remembered," he said.

Healthy dating is like friendship, sharing emotions, but there are bonds of interest
and long-term plans. Therefore, a healthy courtship can be a medium of mutual exploration
of potential self and couples.
 If there is a possessive attitude, demands, and the necessity to do something or
restrictions on doing positive things before courtship, it's a symptom of unhealthy
courtship. Especially if there is violence, whether physical, verbal, or emotional

From the above research data can be analyzed correctly that tendency is more
prevalent in men. Which is where the emotional level of courtship itself revealed a lot on
the male side to female partners. Thus should be more accepting of selfishness in pacarana
become more wise.

From the results of this study many occur in men then I believe more to keep the
relationship courtship should be wise and keep emotions to believe. Stats of the above
research should be more in the beware and made the race to better understand the attitude
that believe and establish good communication to couple. Thus a possessive attitude will
not arise.

By getting to know more in this situation sometimes there are still many also
automatically out the reaction of male partner to woman to lead to possessive. So it's better
to get in touch with each other and encourage each other's trust.

To handle the case of possessiveness it must be more make yourself more positive
then keep the emotional stability in the couple better and foster a sense of confidence.

Many articles that discuss the possessiveness that addresses the attitudes and
characters of excessive couples to address and limit their partner's activities with others.
Not many problems caused but to make the relationship can not last long even the
atmosphere With a girlfriend akaan become damaged.