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College of Law
Legal Writing Notes
Second Semester, 2017-2018
Atty. Edgardo R. Sison
1. What is legal writing?
It is the discipline governing the written aspect of practice of law.
It covers the manner, style and form of writing legal articles,
correspondence, opinions, paper and more importantly, court-bound
documents such as pleadings composed of petitions or complaints, answer,
reply, rejoinder, affidavits, counter-affidavits, as well as motions,
memorandum and position papers that are all filed in court. It includes
orders, decisions, judgments, awards of courts, administrative bodies or
arbitral tribunals.
In a real sense, legal writing is a sort of presentation. The lawyer
should be able to make a convincing presentation of his case in the limited
time that he is able to hold his reader's attention. To succeed in this, the
lawyer needs diligent pre-work in the preparation of a good write-up of the
required paper or pleading.
2. What is good writing?
It entails clarity, conciseness, and correctness. It also includes
simplicity and persuasiveness. It entails avoidance of legalese, verbosity
and redundancy, as well as adjustment of language and style like the terms
or wordings used, and approach and delivery of the subject or topic
depending on the purpose and target audience which could be preparing a
brief for a client, legal guide or inspirational talk to high school students or
pleadings for the court.
a. Clarity - means presenting fact or information clearly
leaving no doubt on the mind of the reader. For example, say things in
exact number or amount instead of “many” or “several”. Organize facts in
chronological order. Use numbering for each paragraph for easy reference.
Be plain meaning by observing the use of familiar and concrete words.
Also, avoid wide gaps between subject, verb and object by minimizing on
modifiers, especially “nested modifiers” which modify the modifiers, and
misplaced or dangling modifiers. Putting modifiers between the subject
b. Conciseness – means to be succinct, brief or straight to the
point. Avoid verbosity and lengthy statements. Make use of paragraphs,
sub-paragraphs, sub-headings to arrange your work as well as guide the
reader's eye. Write just enough by striking a balance between too little and
too much.
c. Correctness – the statements you write must represent the
truth which are verifiable and validated by competent sources such as the
constitution, laws, jurisprudence, customs and traditions, recognized
authorities and experts, published books and treatises by known authors
in the legal profession, science-based data, testimonies of competent
witnesses, among others.
d. Simplicity – means to write plainly and simply by
observing the rules on “economy of expression.” Wordy expressions,
convoluted words, word-constructions and needless words must be
avoided. This is best done by preferring shorter sentences, choosing
shorter words, minimizing the use of connectives and relative pronouns.
Repetition or tautology and elaborating on the obvious must also be
avoided as much as possible.
e. Persuasiveness – is the ability to use any of the four modes
of legal reasoning, namely: 1) rule-based reasoning; 2) analogical and
counter-analogical reasoning; 3) policy-based reasoning; and 4) the
narrative reasoning to influence the deciding authority to adopt an idea or
course of action in favor of one's client.
1) rule-based reasoning – the conclusion is reached by analyzing
and applying the law, rule or legal principle.
2) analogical and counter-analogical reasoning – There are three
(3) types of this kind of argument:
i. Arguing from precedent – showing similarities between the case
decided by the Supreme Court and the case of the client. This is usually
achieved by invoking the doctrine of stare decisis.
ii. Argument of same legal application – if a law applies to one
area, it may also be understood to apply to other similar areas. Mutatis
mutandis is an example. It happens when one compares multiple situtions
having multiple variables where some variables remain constant, while
others are allowed to be changed.
iii.1 Argument using common sense analogy -analogical arguments
may be used by starting with something that everyone accepts.
iii.2 Counter-analogical reasoning – concludes by pointing out
relevant differences between the case and the client's facts. This usually
debunks the opponent's use of analogical reasoning.
3. Policy-based reasoning – reaches a conclusion by connecting the
facts of the case to the state's existing public policy or a company's private
policy.
Narrative reasoning – conclusion by telling a story that shows the
context, description and perspective that appeals to commonly-held ideas
of justice, mercy or fairness.
3. What is a legal dispute?
There is legal dispute when one party complains of a violation of
his right by another who, on the other hand, denies such violation. Stated
differently, a legal dispute involves a violation of a right protected by law or
which violation the law punishes.
4. What is the significance of legal dispute in legal writing?
A failure to correctly identify the legal dispute together with its
principal and sub-issues, if any, and address them properly would cause
the writer to argue in an illogical or off-tangent manner. As a rule, the legal
dispute, when recast or reworded in the format of an issue, provides the
principal issue in every case. For example, an apartment owner's claim
that the tenant has violated his right under the contract by not paying the
required rent, and the tenant's denial of the claim can be recast in the
format of an issue, to wit: “whether or not the tenant violated the lease by
not paying the rent.”
5. Importance of the principal and sub-issues.
It is important because the writer weighs the significance of every
argument that he wants to use to persuade the reader by its relevance to
such issues. Any argument that does not touch base or relate with the
issues would be quite useless and a waste of time.
6. Two stages of legal writing (Pre-work and Write-up)
1. Pre-work. This is the beginning of the writing assignment and
it involves at least five levels (see a-e below) of efforts:
a. Establishing where the legal dispute lies in the case.
This is the key to pre-work. Only when you have an idea of what
the principal issue is, could you make a good job of extracting the relevant
facts from your case materials. There is a need to go over the materials
very quickly and determine preliminarily the principal issue or issues
involved in the case. It is only when you know the principal issue or at
least have a preliminary idea of what is about that you could do a correct
job of making a summary of the facts of your case.
b. Discovering its relevant facts.
There are two ways to quickly study case materials. One way is to
make short random notes of the facts of the case that you consider
important as you over them. However, the notes are often uncorrelated.
They do not give a complete picture of the terrain of the case.
The other way is by summarizing. You can best understand and
absorb written materials when you summarize their contents. It compels
you to assess the importance or significance of an item of fact to the legal
dispute and decide whether to keep it or throw it out of your summary.
This affords the writer the opportunity to get rid of irrelevant facts and
putting in order the events in the order of their occurrence. When the
sequence of the events are in disarray, with subsequent events told ahead
of preceding ones or with frequent flashbacks to the past as the story
unfolds, you are likely to get confused by the cluttered facts that are likely
out of context or detached from their immediately surrounding
circumstances.
c. Knowing the Constitution, laws, rules, jurisprudence,
policies, customs and traditions, treatises and works of known authors
that apply to it.
This involves searching for the specific authorities that will either
help or burden you in prosecuting or defending your side of the dispute
based on the facts of the case.
d. Identifying the relevant issue or multiple issues with
or without subordinating or sub-issues that you would address
Issues are usually identified when contending parties do not agree
on certain matters in a given case. Only issues that when resolved
determine the outcome of the legal dispute are relevant to the case.
i. Factual issue -an issue is factual when the contending parties
cannot agree that a thing exists or has actually happened.
ii. Legal Issue – an issue is legal when the contending parties
assume a thing exists or has actually happened but disagree on its legal
significance or effect on their rights.
iii Subordinate controlling issue – an issue the resolution of which
would invariably resolve the principal issue. For example, the principal
issue of whether or not the tenant has violated the lease agreement by way
of unpaid rentals may depend on the subordinate issue of whether or not
the rents may be deemed paid by set off of the lessor’s separate debt to the
tenant.
iv Threshold issue – issues that should be resolved before any
consideration of the main legal dispute or merit of the case is done. For
example, issues on lack of jurisdiction, prescription or venue are resolved
first before the court takes cognizance of the merit of the case.
e. Roughing out (simply, rough draft of) the arguments
that you would use.
The next step is to plan and rough out a balanced approach to your
arguments on the issues before writing them up. In crafting your
arguments you need to be guided by your THESIS STATEMENT or
PROPOSITION.
A good argument should consider the structure of a balanced
thesis presentation per issue raised identified. First, a clear statement of
your thesis or where you stand on the issue to be resolved must be made.
For example, X raped (or did not rape) Y. This is written down at the top of
the draft paper Second, the argument that can be made against your
position but with an explanation that those arguments do not doom such
position. For example, Z witnessed the rape incident. This is written down
just below your thesis and on the left side of the draft paper. Third, the
arguments in favor of your position are conceptualized. For example, Z was
in another place during the rape incident or Z is nearly blind. This is
written down opposite or just below the particular argument against your
position to enable more analysis of the arguments. Fourth, an appeal to
the good sense of the person or persons who will resolve the issue/s is
made. For example, X’s good moral reputation, or rendering judgment in
favor of accused in the light of equipoise rule, or lack of credibility of
witnesses. This is usually stated in the conclusion or epilogue of the draft
pleading.
Anatomy of a legal argument –An argument is a reason you offer to prove
your thesis presentation ( your thesis statement of proposition). It is based
upon a combination of the right rule and the right fact. For example, in the
thesis or proposition that “ X should be punished for crossing the red light,”
the statement “crossing the red light is punishable by law” would be the
rule (also known as rule statement), while the statement “X crossed the red
light” would constitute the fact (also known as case fact statement) Finally,
a conclusion (also known s conclusion statement) can be made that “X
should be punished by law.”
Note: A rule statement contains a key fact. In the above example, “crossing
the red light” is the key fact. When this key fact component is present in
the case fact statement, a positive match occurs, and such rule applies to
the case fact. Of course, the rule refers to the various provisions of the
constitution, laws, regulations, jurisprudence, rules of court, principles
and doctrines of law, etc.
Tip - After doing the rough draft of the arguments and after making sure
that all the data and inputs needed for the case have been thoroughly
researched on, try creative thinking by taking a time out and enjoying
some relaxation. Most often, with the issues and arguments still fresh on
your mind, answers will suddenly pop up to your doubts and unanswered
questions. Be prepared to note them down at once.
2. Write-up.
This involves preparation of the paper, motion or pleading to be
filed or submitted. It normally includes s Statement of the Case, Statement
of Facts (stating the plaintiff’s and defendant’s version.), the Issue or Issues
involved, Arguments raised (with separate heading), the Discussion on the
arguments (with each argument raised discussed separately and preceded subject formation. Corrected version: Judge Packer wrote the
by a sub-heading of the particular argument placed on the left side of the decision.
paper. The polished draft of the arguments are placed here), and the relief
sought (usually preceded by a “Prayer”). 2. Negative

Grammar and Style:
1. Passive Voice
The active voice is more effective than the passive voice. The
active voice is simpler, clearer, shorter, and more direct. In passive
sentences, the format is object, verb, subject. Active sentences follow a
different format: subject, verb, object. Example: “The attorney faxed the
summary-judgment motion.” If the structure is object, verb, subject, then
it’s a “single passive.” A sign your sentence has a single passive is if you see
the word “by.” Example: “The summary-judgment motion was faxed by the
attorney.” Use single passives to connect sentences or end a sentence with
emphasis. A double passive, also known as a blank or nonagentive passive,
hides the subject. Example: “The summary-judgment motion was faxed.”
In that example, the reader doesn’t know who faxed the motion. When you
omit the subject, the actor is unknown. The passive voice conceals
information, is vague, and places emphasis wrongly. Write in the active
voice unless you’re using the double passive deliberately to emphasize the
object rather than the verb or you don’t know or care who the subject is.
Exercises: Passive Voice
Rewrite the following sentences:
Sentences written in the negative might appear acceptable, and
there’s nothing grammatically incorrect with them. But they aren’t
preferred. It’s always better to write in the positive. It looks and sounds
better, and it’s easier to understand. Avoid negative prefixes or suffixes
“dis,” “ex,” “ill,” “ir,” “-less,” “mis,” “un,” and “non.” Eliminate negative
combinations: “never unless,” “none unless,” “not ever,” and “rarely ever.”
Negative words to exclude from your writing include “barely,” “except,”
“hardly,” “neither,” “not,” “never,” “nor”, “provided that,” and “unless.”
Exercises: Negative
Rewrite the following sentences:
1. An opening statement won’t be convincing unless it’s given with a
smile.
A. This sentence contains a negative word “unless,” which frames it as
a negative sentence. Corrected version: An opening statement will
be convincing if it’s given with a smile. Better version: An opening
statement given with a smile is convincing.
2. Most cases rarely even go to trial.
A. This sentence contains a negative combination, “rarely ever,” that
you should stay away from. Corrected version: Most cases settle
before trial.

1. The jurors were asked about their professional history. 3. Not only did John run away from the police, but he also hid.
A. This sentence contains a blank passive. We don’t know who asked A. This sentence contains a negative word: “not.” Corrected version:
the jurors about their professional history. Corrected version: The John ran away and hid from the police.
attorneys asked the jurors about their professional history.

2. After the jury deliberated for 10 days, defendant Rosen was found 3. Metadiscourse
not guilty.
A. The sentence doesn’t state who found the defendant not guilty. Metadiscourse is writing about your writing. A phrase like “for all
Corrected version: After the jurors deliberated for 10 days, they intents and purposes” is metadiscourse; it takes up space without adding
found defendant Rosen not guilty. anything substantive. Omit these phrases. Other examples of
metadiscourse: “the fact of the matter is,” “it is submitted that,” and “as a
3. The decision was written by Judge Packer. matter of fact.”
A. This sentence contains a single passive. It’s written in object, verb,

Exercises: Metadiscourse
Rewrite the following sentences:
1. It is well settled that the defendant knew what she was doing
before she stabbed the victim.
A. The phrase “it is well settled that” adds no meaning to the
sentence. Corrected version: The defendant knew what she was
doing before she stabbed the victim.
2. The judge told the jury, “It should not be forgotten that court is
ending early today.”
A. The phrase “it should not be forgotten” is metadiscourse. It
occupies space while not adding anything. Corrected version: The
judge told the jurors, “Court is ending early today.”
3. Please be advised that cellphone use is prohibited.
A. This sentence contains the phrase “please be advised that,” an
example of metadiscourse. Corrected version: Cellphone use is
prohibited.
4. Gender Neutrality
Gender neutrality in writing is a relatively new, and important,
phenomenon. Not only is sexist writing offensive, but it focuses the reader
on style rather than content. There’re four ways to rephrase gendered
language. The first is to use plural forms, which allow you to replace “he”
and “she” with “they.” Example: “If he doesn’t appear in court, the trial will
still go forward.” Becomes “If they don’t appear in court, the trial will still
go forward.” The second is to eliminate the pronoun,; that might require
you to rearrange the sentence. Example: “He who isn’t a morning person
should find a different line for work.” The third is to repeat the noun.
Example: “A court officer will escort you to the jury room. The officer will
do so once all the jurors are assembled.” The fourth is to use a second-
person pronoun like “you,” “your,” or “yours.” Example: “She who has
patience should work in Family Court.” Becomes “If you have patience, you
should work in Family Court.”
Another way to be gender neutral is to use “person” rather than
“man” and “woman.” Rather than using “policeman,” “chairman,”
“mailman,” “stewardess,” and “fireman,” use “police officer,” “chair,” “letter
carrier,” “flight attendant,” and “firefighter”.” If you see the suffices “-man,”
or “-ess,” delete them. If you see masculine terms using the word “man,”
delete them. Use “one” to make the sentence gender neutral. Example: “To
boldly go where no one has gone before.” Use gender-neutral parallel
language: If you use “man,” use “woman.” If you use “husband,” use “wife.”
Make your subject agree with their predicates. Avoid the inelegant “he or
she,” “s/he,” or alternating between “he” and “she.”
Exercises: Gender Neutrality
Rewrite the following sentences:
1. New Jersey is New York’s sister state.
A. Use gender-neutral terms. Unless someone is really a sister or
brother, replace “sister” or “brother” with “sibling.” Corrected
version: New Jersey is New York’s sibling state.
2. A judge can’t be biased. She must be impartial.
A. This sentence isn’t gender neutral. It uses the female pronoun.
Making the noun plural is one way to make the sentence gender
neutral. Corrected version: Judges can’t be biased. They must be
impartial. Better version: A judge can’t be biased. A judge must be
impartial.
3. Madam Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg has been a United States
Supreme Court Associate Justice since 1993.
A. This sentence isn’t gender neutral. It uses a term reserved for a
female. Eliminate “Madam.” Corrected version: Justice Ruth Bader
Ginsburg has been a United States Supreme Court Associate Justice
since 1993.
5. Nominalizations
A nominalization occurs when an added suffix turns a verb into a
noun. Your writing shouldn’t have any nominalizations. They’re wordy
and abstract. Use a strong verb rather than a noun. You want your
sentence to show action. Example: “The court reached the decision that . . .”
becomes “The court decided that . . . . “ Avoid buried verbs that end with
these suffixes: “-tion,” “-sion,” “-ment,” “-ance,” and “-ity.” A “be” – very
attached to a clause that ends in a proportion should be eleiminated.
Example: “Be in attendance becomes “attend.”
Exercises: Nominalizations
Rewrite the following sentences:
1. The intern provided assistance to the attorney.
A. The nominalization is “assistance.” Choose the strong verb “assist.”
Corrected version: The intern assisted (or, better, helped) the
attorney.
2. The committee members said they’ll take my application into
consideration.
A. The nominalization is “consideration.” Choose the strong verb
“consider.” Corrected version: The committee members said they’d
consider my application.
3. The eyewitness provided an identification of the defendant.
A. The nominalization is “identification.” Choose the strong verb
“identify.” Corrected version: The eyewitness identified the
defendant.
6. Legalese
Writing in legalese is a poor form of writing. Not only are
legalisms confusing, but they also have meanings you don’t fully grasp.
Write in place English using simple and common Anglo-Saxon words.
Writing in plain English is formal and proper; avoid conversational English.
Eliminate words like “aforementioned,” “henceforth,” “hereinabove,”
“whereby,” and “said.” If you aren’t sure whether a word is legalese, ask
yourself whether you’d say it in a formal speech. Because writing is
planned, formal speech, you shouldn’t write it if you wouldn’t say it. Use
legal terms only when necessary for terms of art or words that can’t be
translated into plan English.
Exercises: Legalese
Rewrite the following sentences:
1. Interns may dress casually on Fridays, as per the Judge.
A. “As per the Judge” can be eliminated. Corrected version: Interns
may dress casually on Fridays.
2. The aforementioned parties are currently in court.
A. Two words in this sentence should be eliminated:
“aforementioned” and “currently.” Both are unnecessary and
wordy. Corrected version: The parties are in court.
3. Henceforth, no water bottles are allowed in the courtroom.
A. You wouldn’t use “henceforth” in a formal speech, so don’t write it.
Corrected version: No water bottles are allowed in the courtroom.
7. Cowardly Qualifiers
Eliminate doubtful, hedged, timid, and misleading phrases and
words: “apparently,” “as far as I’m concerned,” “basically,” “practically,” “it
might be said,” “it seems,” “more or less,” “nearly,” and “somewhat.” Don’t
combine letters and numbers. Example: “four (4).” Eliminate cowardly
expressions: “at or near,” “on or about,” and “on or before.” These
expressions should be used only when writing a complaint and the exact
places or times are unknown. When discussing an exception to a rule
rather than the rule, use “generally,” “typically,” and “usually.” Example:
“Generally, we only allow customers to use the restrooms. But your
emergency situation is an exception.”
Exercises: Cowardly Qualifiers
Rewrite the following sentences. You might have to add words to make the
sentence readable.
1. The defendant probably pleaded guilty solely because his attorney told
him to plead guilty.
A.Eliminate “probably” to avoid uncertainty. Corrected version: The
defendant pleaded guilty solely because his attorney told him to plead
guilty.
2. Apparently, the owner of the store threatened to shoot the teenager if the
teenager didn’t leave the premises.
A. Get rid of “apparently.” Corrected version: The owner of the store
threatened to shoot the teenager if the teenager didn’t leave the
premises.
3. The accident occurred at or near the intersection of Union Turnpike and
Springfield Boulevard.
A.“At or near” is a cowardly expression. Eliminate it; the exact place of the
accident is known. Corrected version: The accident occurred at the
intersection of Union Turnpike and Springfield Boulevard.
8. Modifiers
Modifiers are words, phrases, or clauses that act as adjectives or
adverbs. Modifiers should point clearly to the words they modify.
Modifiers can be misplaced, squinting, or dangling. Place modifiers next to
the words they modify.
Misplaced modifiers are placed too far from the word or words they
modify. Misreadings arise when phrases or words are misplaced. Example:
“I went to a lawyer with legal problems.” By writing the sentence this way,
the reader will believe that the lawyer, not you, has legal problems.
A squinting modifier can refer to the word before it or the word
after it. But a modifier should modify only one word. Place these modifiers
right before or right after the words they modify. Placing the modifiers
elsewhere will allow for a meaning different from what you intended
Example: “A modifier should only modify one word.” Becomes “A modifier
should modify only one word” because we want to place emphasize on
“one word.” Squinting modifiers include “almost,” “also,” “even,” “exactly,”
“hardly,” “just,” “merely,” “nearly,” “scarcely,” “simply,” “solely.”
Dangling modifiers (dangling participle phrases) fail to refer
logically to any word in the sentence. Example: “Though only 18, the judge
found the young defendant guilty on all charges.” This sentence suggests
that the judge is only 18 years old. You have two ways to fix dangling
modifiers: (1) include the subject of the sentence; or (2) turn the modifier
into a word group and include the subject. Corrected version: “Although
the defendant was only 18, the judge found him guilty on all charges.”
Dangling participles describe something left out of a sentence. Example:
“Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.” This phrase
dangles; it doesn’t answer who writes carefully or who must avoid dangling
participles. Corrected version: “To write carefully, one must avoid dangling
participles.” To fix dangling participles, identify who’s doing what to whom
to point out clearly the subject and avoid double passives.
Exercises: Modifiers
1. Answer questions can be difficult during cross-examination.
A. Repositioning “during cross-examination” is essential to avoid
misplacing modifiers. Corrected version: Answering questions
during cross-examination can be difficult.
2. The defendant only pleaded guilty to two charges, not them all.
A. This sentence is ambiguous. “Only” is a squinting modifier. In this
case, it limits the word “two” and should be placed right before it.
Corrected version: The defendant pleaded guilty only to two
charges, not them all.
3. Jurors are vigilantly encouraged to read through documents.
A. The word “vigilantly” should be placed next to the word
“documents.” “Vigilantly” describes how the documents should be
read. Corrected version: Jurors are encouraged to read documents
vigilantly.
9. Wordiness
Short sentences are read and understood more easily than long
ones. And many legal documents are unnecessarily wordy. Writer’s use of
the word of is a main contributor to wordiness. When possible, invert or
rearrange a sentence to delete of.
Some tips:
 Delete and, if necessary, replace as of.
 Delete of after “all” and “both,” except when followed by a
pronoun.
 Delete of after “alongside,” “inside,” “off,” and “outside.”
 Delete of in dates and years.
 Revise sentences to remove of abstractions, such as “factor
of,” “kind of,” “matter of,” “sort of,” “state of,” and “type of.”
 Use “except for” to replace “outside of.”
In addition, remove redundant words and phrases (example: “In
some instances” becomes “Sometimes”) and substitute one word for a
wordy prepositional phrase (example: “the editing of articles” becomes
“editing articles”). To write more crisply, write in the active voice, and
avoid nominalizations and legalese.
Exercises: Wordiness
Rewrite the following sentences:

1. The Supreme Court of the State of New York has subject-matter
jurisdiction over this case.
A. The word of is unnecessary in this sentence. Eliminate it.
Corrected version: The New York State Supreme Court has subject-
matter jurisdiction over this case.
2. The attorney hasn’t filed the motion as of yet.
A. As of creates unnecessary wordiness. Eliminate it. Corrected
version: The attorney hasn’t filed the motion yet.
3. He’s the type of witness who’d lie under oath.
A. The words “is the type of witness who” are superfluous. Delete
them. Corrected version: He’d lie under oath.
10. That vs. Which vs. Who vs. Whom
Which word you choose between that and which affects how your
readers will understand the sentence. That is restrictive (defining); which
is non-restrictive (non-defining). Defining clauses provide essential
information that is important for the sentence; non-defining clauses
introduce nonessential information. If the word or concept following that
or which is one of several, use that. If the word or concept expresses a
totality, use which. Which should be surrounded by a comma, whereas that
shouldn’t have commas around it.
Use that as a structural device to aid understanding. Example:
“The People alleged defendant committed murder.” Becomes: “The People
alleged that defendant committed murder.” In this sentence, adding that
aids understanding because “The People” can’t alleged a defendant.
Eliminate the nonstructural that. Example: “The advice that he
gave to the class is not to be wordy.” Becomes: “The advice he gave to the
class is not to be wordy.”
Use that to distinguish between direct and indirect discourse.
Direct discourse: “The senior partner said, ‘Bill researched the issues.’”
Always eliminate the extra that. Example: The court attorney explained
that although she will only draft the decision, that no one will read it.”
Becomes: “The court attorney explained that although she will only draft
the decision, no one will read it.” Replace “that that” with “that this” or
“that the.”
Differentiate between that (or which) and who. That and which
refer to things, entities, concepts and animals. Who refers to people and to
named animals and animals that have special qualities. Who and whoever
are used to refer to subjects and subject complements, whereas whom and
whomever are used to represent objects. To choose the correct pronounce,
isolate the subordinate clause and then decide how the pronoun functions
within it. Who occasionally functions as a subject complement in a
subordinate clause. Subject complements occur within the linking verbs
am, are, be, been, being, and is.
Exercises: That vs. Which vs. Who vs. Whom
Rewrite the following sentences:
1. M&G is the law firm who represents the defendant.
A. Because the sentence is about which law firm represents the
defendant, the name of the law firm representing the defendant is
essential information. Corrected version: M&G is the law firm that
represents the defendant.
2. The law clerk gave the judge the relevant law, which was meant to
help the judge decide the motion.
A. Because this sentence implies that the law clerk gave the judge
only the relevant law, this sentence is a defining clause. Use that.
Corrected version: The law clerk gave the judge the relevant law
that was meant to help the judge decide the motion. Or, better,
delete “that was meant”: The law clerk gave the judge the relevant
law to help the judge decide the motion.
3. It’s uncomfortable to sit on a chair which doesn’t have a cushion.
A. Because the subject of this sentence is one type of chair, it’s
restrictive, which means we should use that instead of which.
Corrected version: It’s uncomfortable to sit on a chair that doesn’t
have a cushion.
10. Professional Tone
When writing, you get to choose which tone you’ll use. This
decision is important because your tone is what evokes emotion and
reaction from your readers. Because legal writing is formal, avoid casual,
impertinent, and joking tones. Keep your sentences short. Short sentences
are businesslike and to the point. To avoid seeming biased, use objective
language whenever possible. When conveying thoughts on a matter or
person, remember that a true statement needn’t contain disparaging or
otherwise offensive language. Avoid biased modifiers and conclusions.
Don’t tell; show. Don’t just write something. Set out the facts that show
why you’re right. Cut your adjectives and adverts. Understate; never
exaggerate.
Exercises: Professional Tone
Rewrite the following sentences:
1. An employee who’s running late should at least call to let his
manager know he’ll be late.
A. This sentence lacks tact. Correct it. Make the sentence gender
neutral. Corrected version: Employees should notify their
manager if they’re going to be late.
2. The prosecutor’s motion should be denied. His argument is based
on a preposterous claim.
A. Calling the argument “preposterous” is unnecessarily disparaging
and will lead to reader push-back. Think twice before using biased
conclusions.
3. The lawyer was very rude to the judge.
A. This sentence contains disparaging language. Explain what made
the lawyer come across as rude. Corrected version: The lawyer
interrupted the judge several times during the oral arguments.
And cut “very.”
11. Absolutes and Adverbial Excesses
Avoid using absolutes like always or never. These words are rarely
accurate. Avoid adverbial excesses, too. Legal writers often use words like
certainly, clearly, and undoubtedly in place of a strong argument. Why is a
statement clear? What makes a statement incontrovertible? If you have
answers to these two questions, you should explain them. Although
concision is key, don’t use an adverbial excess to save words. If you don’t
explain yourself thoroughly, your readers will begin to doubt the strength
of your arguments and the veracity of y our claims.
Exercises: Absolutes and Adverbial Excesses
Rewrite the following sentences:
1. When Mr. Robinson was arrested for possession, he said that he
was “just holding it for a friend” – which is ridiculous; that’s never
the truth.
A. The unedited sentence contained both a disparaging word
(“ridiculous”) and an absolute word (“never”). Remove both.
Corrected version: When Mr. Robinson was arrested for
possession, he said he was “just holding it for a friend.”
2. Ms. Williams is a drug addict. As you know, Your Honor, drug
addicts always lie about their drug habits.
A. It’s inaccurate to say that drug addicts “always” lie about their
drug habits. Rephrase the sentence. Corrected version: Ms.
Williams is a drug addict. AS you know, Your Honor, she might not
be entirely forthcoming about her drug habits.
3. The complaint is obviously ridiculous.
A. Calling a complaint “obviously ridiculous” is rude. Write that the
complaint “lacks merit” or is “unfounded” instead. Then explain
why it lacks merit or is unfounded. Corrected version: The
complaint is unfounded because of X, Y, and Z.
12. Specificity
Concision is key, but legal writers should never sacrifice specificity
for brevity. In legal writing, specificity is more important than concision.
Just as ambiguity in a contract benefits the party that didn’t draft the
contract, ambiguity in legal writing benefits adversaries. The law is
precise; there should be no room for possible misinterpretations or
misunderstandings. Be precise. Repeat sentence subject if you must.
When in doubt, specify. Don’t use vague pronouns or referents like it
unless the pronoun or referent refers to one thing only. Choose the words
that convey the precise meaning you intend. Settle for nothing less than
accuracy, clarity, and precision. Here are some tips to do this:
  Use adjectives to clarify nouns, especially if the noun can refer to
more than one person, place, or thing.
 Use demonstrative adjectives (that, these, such, etc.) instead of
articles (the).
 Remove unnecessary qualifiers from your sentences.
Exercises: Specificity
Rewrite the following sentences.
1. Mr. Katz’s granddaughter lives with him.
A. You should specify which granddaughter lives with Mr. Katz,
especially if he has more than once granddaughter or if not all his
granddaughters live with him. IN addition, should specify where
he lives. Corrected version: Mr. Katz’s youngest granddaughter,
Caitlin, lives with him in his house in Marietta, Georgia.
2. At the time of the alleged incident, my client was shopping.
A. This sentence can be made more specific. Corrected version: My
floral Vera Bradley bag was stolen.
3. My bag was stolen.
A. Specify which bill you’re talking about. Corrected version: The
health care bill doesn’t have bipartisan support.
13. Parallelism
Parallelism requires all elements in a list or a sentence to be
presented in a similar – or parallel fashion. By using the same or similar
grammatical form for coordinated elements, parallelism makes the content
of a sentence apparent and accessible. (“Similar grammatical form” means
that nouns are matched with other nouns, verbs are matched with other
verbs, prepositional phrases with other prepositional phrases, and so on.
Coordinated elements include “and,” “but,” “or,” “nor,” and so on.) match
key words in each sentence. Coordinating conjunctions, correlative
conjunctions (such as either/or, neither/nor, both/and, not only/but also),
and comparisons should also be parallel.
Exercises: Parallelism
Rewrite the following sentences.
1. Not only were the court clerks afraid of the judge but also the
court attorney.
A. This sentence sounds incomplete. It should be rephrased to sound
clearer. Corrected version: The court clerks were afraid not only of
the judge but also of the court attorney.
2. The defense attorney pleaded that his client was not guilty by
reason of insanity, NGRI, and that his client should be committed
to a psychiatric facility.
A. There are two errors in this exercise. The first is that the word
that is repeated. The second is that the acronym (NGRI) is not in
parentheses. Corrected version: The defense attorney pleaded that
because his client was not guilty by reason of insanity (NGRI), the
defendant should be committed to a psychiatric facility.
3. Officer Rodriguez saw the defendant and plaintiff at the scene of
the crime.
A. Keep correlative conjunctions parallel to make the sentence
legible. Also, eliminate all wordiness from this sentence.
Corrected version: Officer Rodriguez saw both the defendant and
the plaintiff at the crime scene.
14. Subject/Verb Proximity
Good sentences keep their subjects and verbs next to each other.
The shorter the distance between the subject and verb in a sentence, the
greater the cohesion and understanding. A short distance – or no distance
– between the subject and the very also reduces wordiness.
Exercises: Subject/Very Proximity
Rewrite the following sentences.
1. Information about the surgical procedures Ms. Flores has
undergone in the last ten years will be required by the court.
A. This sentence can be rewritten in the active voice so that the
subject and the verb are closer together. Corrected version: The
court will require information about Ms. Flores’s surgical history
from the last decade.
2. My paper, though it exceeded the page limit set by the professor,
was accepted and given an A-.
A. The subject is at the beginning of the sentence, while the verb is
near the end of the sentence. Corrected version: Although my
paper exceeded my professor’s predetermined page limit, he
accepted it and even gave it an A-.
3. Charlie, who is set to become the owner of the company after his
father’s death, wasn’t at the board meeting discussing the future of
the company.
A. This sentence can be rewritten so that the subject and the verb are
closer together. Corrected version: Although Charlie is set to
become the company’s owner after his father’s death, he wasn’t at
the board meeting to discuss the company’s future.
15. Usage and Placement of Transition Words
You can’t eliminate transition words entirely, but you shouldn’t use
a transition at the beginning of a sentence unless you want to be dramatic
or emphatic. Sometimes it’s counterintuitive to use transitions at the end
of your sentences. Doing do emphasizes the transitions and forces readers
to look back to earlier sentences. If drama. Emphasis, or contrast is not
desired, place the transition after the subject, in the first part of the
sentence. There’s a difference between “Although Paul’s always late, he’s a
good worker” and “Although Paul’s a good worker, he’s always late.” The
meaning of this sentence depends on the emphasis of the transition word
although.
Don’t be afraid to begin sentences with “and” or “but.” But don’t
start every sentence with them. The rules of plain speaking and plain
writing provide that it’s better to begin a sentence with “and” or “but” than
with “and” or “but” is formal enough for the front page of the New York
Times and the Wall Street Journal, it’s formal enough for legal writing.
The best writing repeats key words, name, phrases, and concepts
but doesn’t repeat transition words. When possible, eliminate transition
words altogether. If the logic that moves your ideas forward is sound, your
readers will connect the thoughts without needing transitional devices like
furthermore, however, moreover, and therefore. (If the transition word can’t
be eliminated completely, put a conjunctive adverb a third into the
sentence.) To ensure that your ideas are being developed soundly, move
sentences from short to long, from simple to complex, and from old to new,
ending with power and climax. Include a topic sentence – a sentence that
clearly states what you’ll be discussing in the paragraph. And include a
roadmap, or theses, paragraph at the start of each point. Roadmaps tell
your readers what’s being discussed, what you’re arguing, and in which
paragraph(s) of your brief they can find the information they desire or
need.
Exercises: Usage and Placement of Transition Words
Read the paragraphs below and edit them by using the transition
usage and placement rules to create a new, better paragraph.
On July 4, 2015, New York City native Joshua Brandt, along with his
seven-year old daughter, Carly, was at his neighbor’s house celebrating
Independence Day by setting off fireworks. First, they began with small-
scale fireworks, such as sparklers, pop-rocks, and tanks. Afterward, they
moved onto larger fireworks, like Roman candles and cakes. Presumably
because shooting off fireworks as a private resident has been illegal in New
York for decades, the group was setting them off in the backyard. However,
the backyard was small and no one was able to put much space between
them and the explosives. Consequently, everyone present was at risk of
getting burned. Regrettably, Carly was helping her neighbor set off a
Roman candle firework when it exploded prematurely. Carly and her
neighbor, forty-year-old Dominic Amato, were both injured in the blast. All
things considered, they got off easy, but both had to be hospitalized
afterward. Amato sustained first-degree burns on his abdomen, and Carly
suffered second-degree burns to her face and chest. Ultimately, Amato was
arrested for possessing illegal fireworks. Also, Brandt was arrested, but his
charges were dropped. However, he has since brought a lawsuit against
Amato, alleging that Amato is responsible for Carly’s injuries and that he
should therefore pay for damages.
1. Change the placement of the transition word in Sentence #2..
2. Combine Sentence #2 with Sentence #3 to eliminate the transition
word in Sentence #3..
3. Replace the transition word in Sentence #4 with another word.
Answers: Usage and Placement of Transition Words
On July 4, 2015, New York City native Joshua Brandt, along with his
seven-year-old daughter Carly, was at his neighbor’s house celebrating
Independence Day by setting off fireworks. The first fireworks they set off
were small – pop-rocks, sparklers, tanks, etc. – but as the evening
progressed they began setting off larger fireworks, including cakes and
Roman candles.
Since shooting off fireworks has been illegals for private residents
in New York for decades, though, the group was setting them off in the
backyard. The neighbor’s backyard was small, however, and everyone
present was at risk of getting burned because it was impossible to put
much space between them and the explosives.
At approximately 10:00 p.m., Carly was helping her neighbor, 40-
year-old Dominic Amato, set off a Roman candle. It exploded prematurely,
and both Carly and Amato were injured in the blast. Amato, who sustained
first-degree burns to his abdomen, and Carly, who suffered second-degree
burns to her face and chest, both had to be hospitalized.
After Amato was discharged from the hospital, he was arrested for
possessing illegal fireworks. Brandt was also arrested, but his charges
were dropped. He later sued Amato, alleging that Amato is responsible for
Carly’s injuries and should therefore pay for the damages.
16. Quotations
It’s bad form to begin sentences or paragraphs with quotations.
When you quote, give context; a good lead-in to your quotation guides
readers into the quotation and tells them what they should look for. Quote
only what’s essential and what you can’t say better than authoritative
sources. And make sure you use quotation marks when quoting someone
or something directly. It’s plagiarism if you don’t, but scholarship if you do.
All edits, alterations, additions, and deletions need to be evident.
Use brackets or ellipses to show changes. A bracket is used when you
change the capitalization of the first letter of a quoted word, to add a word
to the quotation, or to alter a work. A three-dot ellipsis is used to show
omissions in the middle of a sentence of punctuation or of one of more
words. A four-dot ellipsis is used to omit the last part of a quoted sentence,
provided that the omitted section isn’t a citation, footnote, or endnote and
that the remaining portion is an independent clause.
Use double quotation marks to open and close a quotation: “xx.”
Add and close a quotation within a quotation with a single quotation mark:
“xx ‘yy’ xx.” Or: “xx ‘yy.’”
Don’t use quotation marks around block quotations – quotations
of 50 words or more. A quotation that long should be blocked: single-
spaced, indented left and right, with citation on the line after the quotation
ends, and without quotation marks (unless there’s a quotation within a
quotation). Note that New York courts add the citation on the same line as
the quotation and require that quotation marks surround the quotation.
Question marks, exclamation points, and dashes should be placed
within the quotation only if they’re part of the original quotation. If they’re
not, they go after the quotation mark. All periods and commas are
correctly placed in U.S. style inside the quotation marks. Colons,
semicolons, and footnote or endnote numbers are correctly placed outside
the quotation mark.
Exercises: Quotations
Rewrite the following sentences:
1. While testifying, Samantha said, “Only one person could’ve
committed this crime”.
A. A period always goes inside the quotation mark. Corrected version:
While testifying, Samantha said, “Only one person could’ve
committed this crime.”
2. The intern asked, Is the New York Times a newspaper I should
read daily?
A. In this example, the intern is aking a question. Quotation marks
should be placed around the question. Corrected version: The
intern asked, “Is the New York Times a newspaper I should read
daily?”
3. Ms. Jones pointed to the defendant when the prosecution asked,
who robbed you.
A. The question mark goes inside the quotation mark. Corrected
version: Ms. Jones pointed to the defendant when the prosecution
asked, “who robbed you?”
17. Hyphens

Hyphenate between compound adjectives immediately before a
noun. Don’t hyphenate if the compound adjective appears after the noun.
Commonly used compound adjectives don’t need to be hyphenated.
Hyphenate after “well” if it’s used in an adjectival phrase. You can still
hyphenate after “well” even if it isn’t used in an adjectival phrase but the
phrase wouldn’t mean the same thing if it’s flipped around.
Hyphenate when using the prefixes or suffixes all, ex, quasi, and
self. Don’t hyphenate “self” when it’s added to a suffix, and don’t hyphenate
an adverb or adjective ending in –ly. In addition, if you add a prefix or
letters to the beginning of a word without a hyphen, you’ll confuse your
reader. There’s a major difference in meaning between “pre-judicial” and
“prejudicial.” Example: “Plaintiff moved for summary judgment.” Becomes
“Before the court is plaintiff’s summary-judgment motion.” Rephrasing the
sentence makes the sentence clearer.
Hyphenate when you spell any two-word number greater than 20
but lower than 100. Example: “The attorney has twenty three witnesses
who place the defendant at the scene of the crime.” Becomes: “The
attorney has twenty-three witnesses who place the defendant at the scene
of the crime.” (This issue won’t come up if you prefer to write “23,” not
‘twenty-three.”)
Exercises: Hyphens
Rewrite the following sentences:
1. She’s a small claims attorney.
A. Without a hyphen, this sentence could mean that she’s a small
attorney who handles claims. Corrected version: She’s a small-
claims attorney.
2. Jake Jerome has 33 counts of felony assault on his Criminal-Court
record.
A. Hyphenate numbers from 21 to 99. Hyphenate “Criminal Court”
only when it’s written in lower case. Corrected version: Jake
Jerome has thirty-three counts of felony assault on his Criminal
Court record.
3. John Miller is a well known civil rights activist.
A. “Well” is used in an adjectival phrase. Hyphenate. Corrected
version: John Miller is a well-known civil rights activist.
18. Commas
A comma separates introductory elements from the main part of
the sentence. The introductory element can be a word, phrase, or clause
about then, where, how, or why the action in the sentence occurs. Without
a comma after an introductory clause, the sentence might confuse the
reader. If there’s no possibility that the reader will misread the sentence,
an introductory comma can be omitted after a short adverb clause or
phrase.
A comma must precede a coordinating conjunction connecting two
or more independent clauses. The seven coordinating junctions are and,
but, for, nor, or. so and yet. If independent clauses are present, use commas.
If the clauses are short, don’t use a comma. Using a comma between two
independent clauses, rather than a coordinating conjunction (known as a
comma splice), results in a run-on sentence.
Use a comma when there’s a non-restrictive element. A
nonrestrictive element is a word group that doesn’t limit or restrict the
meaning of the noun or pronoun it modifies. Because nonrestrictive
elements are nonessential to the meaning of the sentence, the commas will
denote that to the readers. If the element is restrictive, then its’s essential
to the meaning of the sentence, and there shouldn’t be a comma.
Legal writers best place transitional or interrupting words in the
middle of a main clause using commas. Examples of transition words are
the conjunctive adverbs however and therefore.
Exercises: Commas
Rewrite the following sentences:
1. Law school, however is exceptionally expensive.
A. Set off interrupting words with commas. Corrected version: Law
school, however, is exceptionally expensive.
2. The prosecutor repeated her question but the witness still didn’t
understand.
A. Place a comma before a coordinating conjunction in a compound
 sentence. Corrected version: The prosecutor repeated her 3. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, if all the evidence points toward
question, but the witness still didn”t understand. his guilt, will you convict him.
A. The sentence is a question and requires a question mark.
3. Unaware that opposing counsel could hear her the attorney made Corrected version: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, if all the evidence
an offensive comment. points toward his guilt, will you convict him?
A. When rreading this sentence, you need to pause before “the
attorney made an offensive comment.” Insert a comma. Corrected
version: Unaware that opposing counsel could hear her, the
attorney made an offensive comment.

19. Periods, Exclamation Points, and Question Marks

Periods are placed at the ends of declarative sentences, mild

commands, and indirect questions. If a sentence ends with an
abbreviation, use only one period. Abbreviated titles should always have a
period.

Use exclamation points only when trying to convey strong

emotions or surprise. When used properly, exclamation points represent
meanings and tones that can’t be expressed with a period.

Legal writing doesn’t contain many question marks. Unless you

want to use them as a rhetorical device, use a question marks only at the
end of a direct question. When making a polite request or a command,
don’t use a question mark. If a sentence begins with “whether,” don’t use a
question mark. When you have a series of questions, even if they aren’t
separate sentences, they should contain question marks. Whether the first
letter of a sentence is capitalized depends on the preceding punctuation.
Rhetorical questions should end with a question mark.

Exercises: Periods, Question Marks and Exclamation Points

Rewrite the following sentences:

1. I’m wondering who’ll win the trial?

A. The sentence isn't a direct question. It shouldn't end with a
question mark. Corrected version: I'm wondering who'll win the
trial.
2. Please submit that brief by Friday?
A. This command should end with a period. Corrected version: Please
submit that brief by Friday.