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© 2018 Elisabeth Corey
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Welcome to Detox Your Mind
Journaling the Resistance to the Life you Want

As complex trauma survivors, we want our lives to be

more than recovery and survival. We want to accomplish
amazing things. We want to find our authenticity and
unconditional self-love. We want real connection with
others. And most importantly, we want peace.

But our thoughts won’t give us the peace we seek. We are

inundated with dissonant thoughts. And every time we
try to take a step forward, the inner opposition rises up
from within and shuts us down. Main stream self-help
tells us to ignore or override that resistance. But that
won’t work. The resistance must be heard before it will
release.

This 30-day program is designed to help you explore your

inner conversation. Each prompt will allow you to access a
new thought that might be holding you back in your life.
Each prompt will take you a little closer to understanding
self.

Let’s get started.

 “I don’t have time for this.
I have too many other
things to do.”

Day 1

You have probably heard me say we must start where we

are. What does that mean? It means we have to start with
the blocks to releasing the blocks. You will have resistance
to participating in this program. Our first writing prompts
will examine how we don’t want to write. And we will
start with the most valid and invalid excuse: time.

“I don’t have time for this.

I have too many other things to do.”

TIP: If your dissociative response keeps you from writing,

try to use grounding techniques prior to writing. You can
try breathing, eating a strong mint, short meditations (1 –
5 minutes) and walking. There are so many options for
bringing you back to your body.
 “I don’t want to write.
Writing doesn’t work for
everyone. I can figure it out
by talking or in my head.”

Day 2

It is really tempting to read these writing prompts and let

them roll around in your head a bit (and then probably
forget them). Your defenses will tell you to just think it
over. But this will not provide the deep healing you are
looking for. For today, let’s examine our resistance to
writing as a healing modality.

“I don’t want to write.

Writing doesn’t work for everyone.
I can figure it out by talking or in my head.”

TIP: Your writing doesn’t have to be long or time-

consuming. Even five minutes of writing every day can
make a big difference.
 “The past is in the past.
There is no reason to dredge
up old stuff. It won’t change
what happened.”

Day 3

Our inner resistance to healing can sound like the same

invalidation we hear from others. Their dismissive
statements trigger us because we have our own doubts
that are fed by the invalidation. To see these doubts, we
have to gather our courage and allow ourselves to
acknowledge and accept the part of us who is fearful of
this journey and the truth. For today, let’s look at how we
might be telling ourselves our least favorite things.

“The past is in the past.

There is no reason to dredge up old stuff.
It won’t change what happened.”

TIP: As you may have figured out, when we have

resistance to writing, the cause isn’t always clear. It may
manifest as numbness, distractions, dissociation or
paralysis. It is rarely a clear message from our
unconscious at first. Keep reminding yourself that these
outward manifestations are sharing an inner message
even if you can’t hear it yet.
 “If I feel emotions, they will
swallow me up like a tidal
wave. Emotions are
extremely dangerous.”
Day 4

One of the most intense blocks to healing comes from

the fear of emotions. In childhood, we learned that
our emotions were wrong. They were too big and
caused rejection and abandonment. We also learned
that they were hard to hold and made us have scary
thoughts. For all of these reasons and many more, we
shoved them deep in our bodies and hoped we would
never hear from them again. Of course you know the
rest of the story. They keep showing up as anxiety,
depression, meltdowns and many other
manifestations. So today we will write from our
resistance to emotions.

“If I feel emotions, they will swallow me up like a

tidal wave. Emotions are extremely dangerous.”

TIP: Writing from an intellectual standpoint is very

helpful, but we can’t heal from cognitive writing
alone. Let your writing come from the body and the
emotion as well as the mind.
“If I tell my real story, I will be
punished for my betrayal. I
am supposed to keep the
secrets.”
Day 5

If we have C-PTSD, we likely had a childhood full of

punishment. Some punishment was overt. Some
punishment was covert. Some punishment wasn’t even
planned, but our abusers convinced us that random events
were orchestrated for our punishment. We were
conditioned to look for punishment around every corner.
But there was no act more deserving of punishment than
betraying the family secrets. As we were growing up, we
internalized these punishments in an attempt to keep
ourselves safe from external repercussions. Today let’s
explore our fear of what might happen if we speak up.

“If I tell my real story, I will be punished for my

betrayal. I am supposed to keep the secrets.”

TIP: Writing isn’t about what you should feel. It is about

what you do feel.
“Everything I do is criticized,
so I might as well do
nothing at all.”
Day 6

In my opinion, futility is the most devastating emotion of

all the responses to complex trauma. It is paralyzing. It
teaches us there is nothing we can do. It teaches us there
is no point to our actions, hopes and dreams. When
futility visits, it appears that getting out of bed in the
morning will make no difference at all. Many times, it is
the basis for depression. And it invokes suicidal ideation.
Shoving this emotion down and away is the most
unhelpful thing we can do. Writing from it is one of the
most helpful things we can do. When we give a voice to
the feeling, when we hear its message, we begin to heal
and release it. We will look at futility in several ways.
Today let’s explore futility through the following prompt.

“Everything I do is criticized, so I might as

well do nothing at all.”

TIP: When we write from emotion, it is important to know

that repetitive writing is a requirement. Our emotions did
not come from an isolated incident and they won’t release
from one journaling episode. Keep exploring your
emotions, even if you have done so before.
 “I can’t survive without my
family or abuser.”

Day 7
Our abusive families tell us many lies. One of the biggest
lies is that we can’t survive without them. This lie serves
many purposes. It is meant to keep us quiet. It is meant
to keep us faithful to the family or abuser. And it is meant
to keep us from succeeding too much, enough that our
confidence builds and we start to question the lies. As is
the case with all brainwashing from childhood, this lie gets
internalized. And it has a very detrimental effect on our
lives. We don’t attempt to live our purpose. We don’t
step out of our oppressive families. We don’t come to
understand our real truth, the truth we were born to
understand. Today let’s listen for the message telling us
we won’t ever make it on our own.

“I can’t survive without my family or abuser.”

TIP: When we write from these prompts, the messages are

coming from traumatized parts of self. They are not
coming from the grounded adult self. The goal in our
recovery work is to build awareness of the difference.
One technique you can use is to compassionately respond
to the part who believes the prompt. While it is hard to
do at first, this helps differentiate between the
traumatized part and the adult self, a critical step in
recovery.
 “I am worthless. I don’t
matter. I will never succeed
at anything I try.”

Day 8

When we were children, we learned that our anger wasn’t

safe to express. If we tried once or twice, we probably
experienced retaliation of epic proportions. This
retaliation was to ensure we never considered fighting
back again. But the anger didn’t go away. It was still
sitting under the surface eating away at us. So we had to
find another way to express it. This might have
manifested as quiet rebellion or passive aggressive
behavior. But unexpressed anger does one thing for sure.
It turns inward. And it feeds the futility which keeps us
paralyzed. Writing from this anger might seem like a bad
idea, but writing it helps to release it. More importantly,
writing from anger helps to turn it back in the direction it
belongs: the abuser. So let’s write.

“I am worthless. I don’t matter. I will never

succeed at anything I try.”

TIP: Just because we are hearing a message today doesn’t

mean we always will. Don’t believe the futility that says
we can’t change. As our parts express, they do change.
But of course it is never fast enough.
 “Everything is going to be
okay.”

Day 9
We have spent 8 days writing from the painful beliefs and
messages coming from our trauma. It is critical that we let
these messages express in writing so we can build
awareness of them. But it is also important for us to write
these messages so we can detach or “un-enmesh” from
them. We need to build an understanding that these
messages are not “us”. They are coming from parts
formed by traumatic experiences. So it is also important
for us to build awareness of our intuition, the aspect of
self that is grounded and not affected by trauma. Yes.
This really does exist. Today we will focus on the hardest
writing prompt because it is often so difficult to find.

“Everything is going to be okay.”

TIP: When we write from our past beliefs, we are writing

from the past. We are accessing the trauma directly. Our
natural instinct is to interpret these beliefs and emotions
as describing the present moment, but they aren’t. They
are about the past. The more we can recognize this, the
more we can hold compassionate space for these beliefs
and their emotions.
 “I can’t let my guard down.
Something bad will happen.”

Day 10
Hyper vigilance is a normal response to a childhood of
complex trauma. We learn that letting our guard down is
not okay. We are sure if we miss something, there are
huge consequences. We learn that control over our
environment is critical to survival. It is important that we
take on these beliefs because we must believe we are in
control of our situation. Otherwise the despair would be
too much to handle. But in reality, we had no control. The
abuse was going to happen no matter how hyper vigilant
we were. We were never going to stop the abuse because
the abuse wasn’t our fault. It was the fault of others. But
now, we hold the belief that hyper vigilance is the only
solution to a scary world. And it is exhausting. Let’s write
from that.

“I can’t let my guard down. Something bad will

happen.”

TIP: If you are writing from a prompt and it takes a turn

down another road, let it go where it goes. Writing for
healing is often stream of consciousness and needs to flow
without control and censorship. If necessary, you can
come back to the original topic later.
 “If I get angry, I will turn
into my abusers.”
Day 11

In abusive families, emotions are not expressed in healthy

ways. Vulnerability is out of the question. If emotions are
expressed, they are used to gain control over others.
Tears are used to make children feel guilty. And anger is
the most manipulative of all the emotions. It is used for
intimidation. It is used to induce fear. It is used to create
chaos if anyone attempts to stand up to a tyrant. Anger
becomes a symbol of everything that is wrong within the
abusive family. And abused children learn to fear it,
anticipate it, and most of all hate it. Trauma survivors
learn that anger belongs to monsters. Since we will never
be one of them, we squelch our anger and shove it away
never to be expressed. But it can’t stay there if we want
to heal. So today let’s explore one fear about anger.

“If I get angry, I will turn into my abusers.”

TIP: Writing and typing from anger can be very helpful. If

you type from your anger on a laptop, I recommend
purchasing a cheap keyboard, so you can pound the keys
without any damage. Writing with force, even ripping
pages can be helpful too. Combining angry writing with
safe physical anger expression is also beneficial.
 “I need to try harder.
I need to accomplish more.
Eventually they will love me.”
Day 12

In recovery, one of the most difficult decisions involves the

ongoing relationship with our abusers and enablers.
Everyone has an opinion about how we should handle this
relationship. “We should stay. We should leave. We
should forgive. We will feel guilty when they are dead.
The kids will miss them. We can’t heal with them. We
can’t heal without them.” It is so overwhelming. And the
effects of this unsolicited advice are made worse by the
inner conversation we can’t stop. Some thoughts tell us to
run or isolate. Some thoughts tell us to hurt them back.
But one of the most intense messages tells us we can’t
give up on the love and approval we always wanted.
Today let’s express from our intense need to receive love
and our willingness to do anything for it.

“I need to try harder. I need to accomplish more.

Eventually they will love me.”

TIP: If you are concerned about others finding your

writing, try to find a compromise. Try using a computer
file with a password or shred/burn your writing when you
are finished.
 “I am making it up.”

Day 13

In abusive families, there is one thing we can guarantee.

There will be denial. There will be so much denial. This
denial is critical to ensuring victims don’t stand up for
themselves. They do this in many ways. They reduce our
self worth to nothing with their constant suggestions we
aren’t good enough. They convince us of our
powerlessness with their relentless efforts to thwart our
attempts at a good life. And they gas-light us. They work
so hard to confuse us with doubts. They suggest we have
a very active imagination. They offer up new versions of
our stories. They convince us we are being malicious
instead of telling the truth. In the end, we are left with
one conclusion. We must be making it up. And this
message becomes deeply internalized causing us to spend
years questioning our own inner wisdom. Today let’s
explore the belief that our truth can’t possibly be right.

“I am making it up.”
TIP: Writing is about gaining clarity. If you are telling
yourself you can’t write until you are clear, you are missing
a great opportunity. When we write stream of
consciousness, it brings the unconscious forward. We
start to understand how our outer and inner worlds are
repeating the patterns of our past.
“Other people are allowed to
have good lives, but that’s
not something I can have.”

Day 14

Isolation is a huge part of the process for abusive families.

They make sure the message is clear to their victims. “You
are different from everyone else.” And this message
wreaks havoc on our lives. It keeps us from feeling close
connections to others. It damages our self esteem. It
creates an isolated life in childhood and adulthood. And it
makes us feel as though there is something wrong with us.
We are not like others. That means we are not as good as
others. That means we can’t have what others have. And
that leads to futility. Whenever we make attempts to
better our lives, we already know it will fail. And so it
does. Today let’s examine the belief that comes from our
perceived difference.

“Other people are allowed to have good lives, but

that’s not something I can have.”

TIP: If you are a perfectionist, you might be convinced you

are not a “good writer.” Writing for healing is not about
being a “good writer”. Sentence structure, grammar and
spelling are not important in this writing. Let yourself
write messy. Nobody has to know. If you hear the self-
criticism, write from that too.
“Nobody is safe. I need to be
alone to be safe.”

Day 15

Yesterday I discussed how isolation is a huge part of the

abusive strategies in our childhood. Isolation becomes
internalized for many reasons. We isolate because we
believe we will be rejected for our differences or
unworthiness. We isolate because we are tired of being
controlled by others. And we also isolate because of
safety. Let’s be honest, when we grow up in abusive
homes, we do most things for safety. Safety is of utmost
importance. It drives our behavior. And if one method
doesn’t work, we can change to an opposite approach in
the blink of an eye. If safety is at risk, there is nothing we
won’t try to get it back. Today we will examine how we
isolate to stay safe from others.

“Nobody is safe. I need to be alone to be safe.”

TIP: When we write for healing, it is important to write in

first person. There is a huge difference between “I can
sense that I feel this way” and “I feel this way”. Writing in
first person allows direct communication from the
unconscious.
 “I need to be saved from this
life. I shouldn’t have to do
this on my own.”
Day 16

When we grow up in abusive environments, we learn we are

helpless. This is a message that is drilled into our psyches at a
very young age. We are told we will never succeed at changing
our situation. And our experiences teach us it is true. We try
and try to change it, but our attempts are always thwarted. We
keep trying and we keep failing. Eventually, we learn there is
only one choice. We must be rescued. We must be saved. So
we search for a savior but they never come. And that
unconscious message lives on in adulthood. It can take two
forms. The younger message says we must find a savior
because we can’t do it on our own. The older message says we
shouldn’t have to. We have done enough and we are tired.
Both are valid for today’s prompt so write from anything that
comes. Today let’s explore our search for the savior.

“I need to be saved from this life. I shouldn’t

have to do this on my own.”

TIP: When you write from this, you may hear a message about
how unfair this journey is. That is an accurate statement. It is
not fair that you have to do this work or save yourself in any
way. If you hear that, write from it too.
 “I’m not allowed to have
fun.”

Day 17

When we grow up in abusive homes, we quickly learn that the

priorities of most children don’t apply to us. We don’t get to
sleep. We don’t get to eat. We don’t get to cry. We don’t get
to play. Our focus turns to surviving and using our energy to
push down the pain of our traumatic experiences. It doesn’t
take long before we can’t stay present enough to play with the
other kids. We are too scared to take the eye off the ball. And
we are constantly preparing for the other shoe to drop. And we
internalize these fears, taking them into our adult life. We may
find that fun outings with friends or partners become a
detached experience we can’t really enjoy. There are just too
many things that can go wrong if we have fun. Today let
explore how we can’t let that happen.

“I’m not allowed to have fun.”

TIP: As you write, try to accept anything that comes up.

Sometimes you will hear another message saying you shouldn’t
feel this way. Don’t let it stop you, but write from it too. Then
keep exploring the original feeling.
 “F*** the world!!”
Day 18

Anger is one of the least accepted emotions by society. It is

that way for a reason. Anger is about power and individual
power scares people. It especially scares people who are in
charge. Conformity has always been considered the best
behavior. Everyone needs to fall in line and avoid rocking the
boat at all costs. And well … anger rocks the boat. Anger fuels
action when things are not just. Anger fights against
oppression. Anger says enough is enough. Anger changes
things. And those in power are not interested in change. They
are perfectly happy the way things are. So we were told at a
very early age that we could not be angry. Only the powerful
could be angry. And we internalized these messages. We have
become scared of anger, including our own. But when we
awaken from our unconscious world, one of our first steps is to
accept our anger. We must come to love that part of self
despite how much it has been hated by everyone. Today we
will get bold and remove the censorship. It is time to let the
anger out of the cage. You will have resistance to this. If it
stops you, write from it first, but try to let yourself be angry for
a couple of minutes.

“F*** the world!!”

TIP: As we change our relationship with anger, our actions start

to reflect a grounded acceptance of change. Change stops
being scary and starts to represent a possibility of a better
future.
 “I am bad because I am just
like my family.”
Day 19
I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “misery loves company”.
It is certainly a cliché, but as with most clichés, there is
truth to it. And it drives so much behavior in abusive
families. The pain and shame they pass on to you happens
through projection. They want you to believe you are the
problem. They want you to believe you are just like them
(although they will never admit their faults out loud).
When you attempt to separate from them in any way, they
will find ways to draw you in. They will tell you that you
are bad and shameful and useless. They will tell you that
you need them and can’t survive without them. They will
use your transgressions against you by using them as
proof of your “badness”. But worse, they will trap you into
doing things like they do. Maybe they aren’t to the same
degree. And they certainly aren’t your fault because they
will give you no choice, even threatening you in life or
death ways. But they will make you think you are the
same as your family. Today let’s explore how you see
yourself as bad like them.

“I am bad because I am just like my family.”

TIP: Our defenses will have us believe that if we

acknowledge the “bad” places within us, we will become
them. They will take over our being and we will drown in
their essence. The opposite is true. When we allow
ourselves to explore the darkness, it dissipates. Don’t let
the defenses convince you otherwise.
“There is not enough for me.”
Day 20

Abusive families live in a world of scarcity. There is not

enough for everyone. And those at the bottom of the
hierarchy, the children, are the least likely to have
resources. The most obvious example of scarcity is
money, but it shows up as many things. Time is scarce.
Food is scarce. Love is scarce. To get anything, there is a
competition. And children often lose out. This is not an
environment exclusive to low income families. Families
can have plenty of money and live with the scarcity
beliefs. They may have money, but refuse to spend it
because it may go away. They may hoard things because
they never know when they will need them. They may
binge on food because it might not be there tomorrow
or next week. And these habits send a message to
children. There is not enough for them.

“There is not enough for me.”

TIP: Handwriting is not a requirement. When we write,

it is about bringing the unconscious messages to the
conscious mind. This helps us release the emotion and
process the beliefs and memories from the adult mind.
The physical act of handwriting is a much less important
component of the process.
 “My life has to be hard or I
am cheating.”
Day 21

When we grow up with complex trauma, there is one

message we get loud and clear. Life is hard. More
specifically, life is hard for us. We dream of the day that
our life might be good. We see other people with what
appear to be good lives. We have ideas for what might
make life better, but they never seem to work out. It
doesn’t help that our abusers and society give us
messages to encourage these beliefs. “There is no time to
rest.” “You need to get to work if you want to make
something of yourself.” “Life isn’t meant to be easy.” To
some degree, life is hard. We do have to make hard
decisions and be courageous enough to take the scary
paths. But this often gets translated to unconscious
extremes. If we are not constantly pushing ourselves and
working hard, we hear the inner messages that we are lazy
or worthless or cheating. This can create an inner battle
with sabotage manifesting in the form of illness or
overwhelming futility. Today let’s look at how you may be
too hard on yourself.

“My life has to be hard or I am cheating.”

TIP: Whenever we notice extremes in our thinking, it is a

clue that we are working with a traumatic belief. These
beliefs always take an extreme approach. And those
extremes can keep us stuck in patterns that aren’t healthy.
 “It wasn’t a big deal. It
wasn’t even trauma.”
Day 22

In families with generational and complex trauma, denial

comes in many forms. It is the cornerstone tactic to
keeping the secrets and avoiding the truth. There is no
end to the creative solutions used to ensure denial takes
hold in children. One primary method of invalidating
traumatic experiences is to minimize them. The
invalidating statements are everywhere. “That wasn’t
even that bad.” “I don’t know why you are so upset about
it.” “Why are you making such a big deal about things?”
As we become adults, these internalized words become a
powerful tool to defend against our truth and the
emotional pain associated with it. We tell ourselves that it
wasn’t that bad. We tell ourselves it wasn’t even trauma.
We compare our experiences to others’ stories and
minimize our own. And all of these tactics keep us from
acknowledging the extent of our pain. Today let’s examine
how we are minimizing and invalidating our traumatic
experiences.

“It wasn’t a big deal. It wasn’t even trauma.”

TIP: When we write from the messages in our heads, it is

important to understand where these messages started.
We did not make these things up. There may be situations
where we drew conclusions from others’ implications and
actions. But most of our internal messages came straight
from the mouths of our family members and abusers.
 “Everyone will leave.”
Day 23

When it comes to relationships, there are a few “truths”

we learn in an abusive home. But there may be none
more powerful than the inevitability of abandonment.
This belief can form because we were left by parents or
other family members. But that isn’t always the case. I
remember wishing my parents would leave, but they
stayed in my life until I kicked them out. Sometimes
abandonment happens emotionally. Sometimes it
happens through neglect. Sometimes abandonment
manifests with “saviors” outside of our family who never
took the steps to free us. But when we internalize the
belief that everyone will leave, we will live trapped lives.
We will be slaves to the approval from others in an
attempt to avoid abandonment which will always come.
Why? When we hold the fear of abandonment, we can’t
be authentic. And authenticity is the only thing that stops
abandonment. Today let’s look at how you have been
abandoned and how you expect it to happen again.

“Everyone will leave.”

TIP: If you are feeling abandoned by someone, write from

it that feeling. But also check in with your own actions.
How are you pulling away to protect yourself, making the
abandonment inevitable?
 “Why doesn’t anyone hear
me? I just want to be
understood.”
Day 24

The life of a trauma survivor can be summed up as a

desperate search to be heard and understood. In many
cases, it starts as soon as we are born. We are not heard
when we are hungry. We are not understood when we
need to be held. Nobody seems to care what our needs
are. And nobody wants to listen while we express them.
Throughout childhood, we are dealing with the same
messages. “Your needs don’t matter,” “We aren’t
interested in what you have to say.” And this messaging
becomes internalized as the most insidious self-torture
mechanism. We have the voice that needs to be heard
and understood. And we have the voice who invalidates
that need. And round and round we go. But we can make
progress in stopping this pattern by listening to ourselves.
Today let’s hear the most vulnerable parts of self. (And
you might already know what’s coming tomorrow.)

“Why doesn’t anyone hear me? I just want to be

understood.”

TIP: Survivors don’t always know what we need to heal.

One powerful self exploration tool is to watch what we ask
from others. When we aren’t allowing what we need, we
look for it in others.
 “I must stop being needy.
Nobody cares about
my pain.”

Day 25

As we discussed yesterday, we internalize the message

that we aren’t deserving of being heard. While it sounds
abusive, we have to internalize it. It is a safety
mechanism. We must save ourselves from asking one
more person who will ignore us. We must save ourselves
from one more rejection or abandonment. We must keep
ourselves insulated from the continued pain of
invalidation. But we have made the choice to invalidate
ourselves instead. And the pain is just as bad. So today
let’s write from the belief that we are asking for too much
when we ask to be heard.

“I must stop being needy. Nobody cares about

my pain.”

TIP: Even the most abusive messages have a purpose that

isn’t meant to be abusive. Don’t run from those messages
because they are trying to “help” us and need to be
expressed so they can shift.
 “Don’t tell me what to do.”

Day 26

When we grow up in unsafe environments, we learn that it

isn’t safe to rebel against authority. And that is the point.
Our abusers want us to feel like we have no options so we
will stay under their control. But there is another side to
us, a side that is hidden away and working under the
surface to make life difficult for the abusers. It might show
up in stealth ways. It might show up as passive
aggression. It might show up as accidental sabotage. But
when we leave the unsafe environment, that rebellious
side can be unleashed. It can turn up whenever we feel
controlled by others. It can also show up when there is
too much control on the inside. Sometimes the rebellion
is justified and needed. Sometimes the rebellion can stop
life in its tracks creating financial difficulties and making
practical steps seem impossible. Today let’s examine how
you won’t be told what to do.

“Don’t tell me what to do.”

TIP: Small amounts of writing are better than no writing.

Even if you can spend a few minutes with your journal, do
it. It helps more than you think.
 “I am not allowed to like or
dislike things.”
Day 27

When we grow up in an abusive family, we lose track of

our own identity. We don’t remember what we like and
what we don’t. Why? We are never allowed to have an
identity. If we express who we are, we are shut down by
others. If we find something we love and openly express
joy about it, it is often thwarted or taken away as
punishment. If we express how much we dislike
something, it is often accentuated to make us miserable.
We are even blatantly told we can’t have an opinion. This
leaves us feeling lost as adults. We no longer know who
we are, what we like and what we dislike. It becomes our
most prominent point of confusion. It isn’t that we don’t
know, but we don’t consciously know. The answers lie in
the unconscious, but our defenses are hiding that
information for our safety. Today let’s look at how we
don’t allow ourselves to have an opinion.

“I am not allowed to like or dislike things.”

TIP: The process of writing brings our unconscious to the

conscious. When we write from our traumatic pain, it
helps to release it and bring us back to self. When we
express how we are squelching our authentic
communication, we bring ourselves closer to the truth.
 “If I let others know I like
something, it will be ruined.”

Day 28

Yesterday we considered how we lose our identity by not

being allowed to have an opinion. Our abusive families
shut down our identity in many ways. But one of their
approaches is to make joy feel unsafe. They let us know
that if we get too excited about something, they will
thwart it. If we like something too much, they will take it
away. If we find a friend and get too close, they will
sabotage the relationship. We learn to keep our joy to
ourselves, or at least mute it as much as possible. In
adulthood, we are haunted by this unconscious feeling
that joy is dangerous and anything we love we will lose.
Today let’s consider how we might be afraid to be joyful.

“If I let others know I like something, it will be

ruined.”

TIP: Writing from positive emotions can be just as

terrifying as writing from traumatic emotions. Take time
to write from them along with the fears of expressing
them.
“This writing hasn’t done any
good.”
Day 29

When it comes to writing for healing, our defenses can be

strong. And they can be very convincing. One way they
convince us to drop the writing habit is by telling us it isn’t
working. Inner change is always slow and it requires
cycling through layers of our trauma which can feel like
regression. Our defenses will tell us it is too slow, too
repetitive, too much work without enough benefit. But
while it is critical to express from these doubts, it is just as
important not to believe them. There is no straight line in
this work and it is those of us who keep journeying
through all the stops and starts who make progress on this
journey. Today let’s discuss how you might be telling
yourself to drop the writing once Elisabeth stops nagging
you with writing prompts.

“This writing hasn’t done any good.”

TIP: It is important to write from all the beliefs in our

unconscious. But it is also important we don’t see them as
indisputable facts. We can write from our unconscious
without committing to the suggested actions.
 “I accept all of my parts.”

Day 30

One of the most common phrases in self development is

“love yourself”. Everyone says it. I say it on my page
often. But what does it truly mean? Of course it can help
to go out and buy yourself gifts or treat yourself to a spa
day. But there is more to it. Loving self is about listening
to our deepest unconscious voices and accepting the parts
of us we wish didn’t exist. It is with those dark and most
rejected places in us where we will find the most healing.
If you are most afraid of your anger, your healing lies in
writing from your anger. If you are most afraid of feeling
vulnerable, your healing lies in writing from your
vulnerability. It takes courage to accept parts of us that
have been shunned by family and society, but our inner
peace lies on the other side of it. Today let’s write from
that higher self acceptance of all that we are.

“I accept all of my parts.”

TIP: If you fear your anger, accept it. If you are

embarrassed by your vulnerability, accept it. If you don’t
have time for your grief, accept it and give it time. If you
hate your blocks, accept them. Give yourself a chance to
be whole. Accept yourself. Love yourself.