Introduction



If you’re reading this, chances are it’s because you know all too well how agonizing the Friend Zone
aka No Sex Zone can be. Guys always ask why women put guys in the Friend Zone…and the way I
see it is…

YOU put YOURSELF in the Friend Zone! But don’t lose hope…because if YOU’RE the one putting
yourself IN there…then YOU have full control of getting yourself OUT. YAY! (Right?!)

The reason you’re in there is because, for whatever reason, we see you as dickless and asexual,
which isn’t the WORST thing because at least we SEE you! However, at this point she sees you as
somebody who BENEFITS her…who does something for her when she needs something done.

Whether it’s for an ego boost, to help her move or reach things on the top shelf, or even to relieve
her boredom, at this point she’s USING you for what you can DO FOR HER…

AND THAT NEEDS TO STOP!

As far as I’m concerned, you’ve landed there because she doesn’t see you for who you are… and who you are
is a man that WANTS HER.

So I’m gonna talk about the 4 steps to escaping the Friend Zone and getting your girl once and for all. But let
this be a warning to you… escaping the Friend Zone… means losing the friendship. And until you’re willing to
go through that… THIS MAY NOT BE FOR YOU!

So if you’re fine being her dickless, asexual boredom relief…THEN COOL! I have PLENTY of guy friends that
are WAY OK with that (I’m not being sarcastic either; they’re like brothers to me and I have really great
friendships with men that everybody is perfectly fine with).

Having a close friend where no sex is involved may be perfectly fine with you. But if you’re a guy who wants
her…loves her even…knows that you’re the guy who could give her what she needs…the guy who has
something GREAT to offer… And that SHE’S the girl you wanna start waking up next to…

Then say goodbye to the friendship…and hello to freedom from The Friend Zone from here on out.
 Distancing



What is it and why is it necessary?

Distancing means creating a LITERAL separation in your relationship. In other words it means NO CONTACT
whatsoever!

If you work together, have the same consistent circle of friends, or for ANY other reason are FORCED to see
each other… do NOT initiate contact. And whatever you do, make sure any contact you DO have is strictly for a
purpose of you getting something done or a need met.

We’re making this about YOU getting who and what you want ALWAYS because you deserve it! And remember,
you DON’T want to be her friend.

So rule number 1 is naturally to cut ties with your friend.

If you don’t feel comfortable doing this, if you feel scared you’re gonna lose her, then this is something you
have to take up with yourself.

Do you think you’re that easily forgettable?

Do you think you don’t matter enough for her to care so this might not be necessary?
Do you think that you need all the face time you can get?

If you answered yes to any of these, you’re not looking at yourself as a man worthy of more than just a
friendship. And if that’s where you’re at then you’re not ready to take the next steps.

BUT I BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE!

You ARE worthy and you ARE ready, otherwise you wouldn’t be here. And I’m not saying
distance yourself and jump off a cliff…I’m saying distance yourself in a way for her to notice
your absence…

Because right now she’s not noticing you very much, I promise (or at LEAST in the way we
want).

Ultimately what we’re doing is breaking off her BENEFITING from you… Right now she’s grown
accustomed to your role as an asexual provider, support system, and/or ego boost.

Whether it’s to help her carry shit, reach high-up things, or do manly things she can’t do for
herself…or even USING YOU to relieve her of her boredom when no one else is around.

We’re cutting off her from using you in any way that doesn’t benefit you. And if she’s your
friend when you want more, consider ANY interaction you have as benefiting HER and not
YOU.



How?
Distancing means creating a LITERAL separation in your relationship. In other words it
means NO CONTACT whatsoever!

If you work together, have the same consistent circle of friends, or for ANY other reason are
FORCED to see each other… do NOT initiate contact. And whatever you do, make sure any
contact you DO have is strictly for a purpose of you getting something done or a need met.

We’re making this about YOU getting who and what you want ALWAYS because you deserve
it! And remember, you DON’T want to be her friend.

So rule number 1 is naturally to cut ties with your friend.

If you don’t feel comfortable doing this, if you feel scared you’re gonna lose her, then this is
something you have to take up with yourself.

Do you think you’re that easily forgettable?

Do you think you don’t matter enough for her to care so this might not be necessary?
Do you think that you need all the face time you can get?

If you answered yes to any of these, you’re not looking at yourself as a man worthy of more
than just a friendship. And if that’s where you’re at then you’re not ready to take the next
steps.

BUT I BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE!

Don’t get hung up on the science or math of it, just be sure to cease contact with her
completely if you can and NOTICEABLY if you can’t.

In fact, you may even go as long as spending weeks or even MONTHS not speaking with
her…and the longer you can go THE BETTER…

In fact if you can go several MONTHS that would actually be THE MOST IDEAL CASE.

Remember, we’re putting NOTICEABLE distance between you guys in a way that triggers
a response in her. We often become desensitized to things we expect and only react to
things that are out of the ordinary.

And creating a noticeable distance is making it so that she literally FEELS the change in
her ordinary environment. Because THAT’S the first step in getting her to feel something
for YOU.
 Force Fumble



What is it and why is it necessary?

Do you watch football at all? If not it’s fine, but basically there’s a point at which one
person has the ball, is running with it, thinks he’s TOTALLY FINE AND GOING FOR THE
GOAL…

When outa NOWHERE a member from the other team comes and tackles him and
causes him to drop the ball. THAT’S what step 2 is in getting outa the Friend Zone:
Getting Her To “Drop The Ball.”

Right now, she’s “running” with the notion that you guys have a certain relationship (a
friendship obviously). Again, she sees you in a certain light and is quite certain that you’re
gonna STAY in that light.

WRONG BITCH! (Sorry I didn’t mean to call your girl that, I’m saying it for effect)

At this point, the two of you probably have a very predictable, typical way of conversing
with one another… And you’re BOTH probably used to it being that way.

The Force Fumble is literally the first thing we’re gonna say after we’ve spent CONSIDERABLE
distance away from her and are now ready to re-establish her in your life.

In the last phase, we were distancing you from her as a means to escape that “benefiting role”
to which you were subscribed. And NOW when you come in with the Force Fumble…it’s gonna
be on YOUR terms…for you to RETRIEVE that ball…and your balls.

You’re coming back, not as a friend and not typically in a way she expects.

You’re coming back as YOURSELF…and a man who WANTS her.

You’ve let her “run with the ball” for a while, thinking she’s been in control the whole time…
And now you’re coming back out of nowhere to knock her out of her present state of mind in
regards to how she sees you.

And THIS TIME, you’re putting YOURSELF first…not HER.




How?
If you haven’t gone through the original Speak To Spark Arousal program yet… MAKE SURE YOU DO.

Because at this point, we’re gonna frame all your interactions as “Me first, You second.”

That’s what leading means! And women want men who will LEAD. If you got yourself into the Friend
Zone, it’s because YOU let HER lead you there.

So when you re-engage with your first message, first hello, or first conversation in general…

IT NEEDS TO BE ABOUT YOU!

Whether it’s via text and you say, “I was just jogging and ran into a girl with a Chihuahua
and I thought it was you!”

Or you come into with a conversation face to face about, “Hey oh my God it’s been a
while… I’ve actually been busy with work they’ve been sending me all over it’s been
nuts.”

The reason it needs to be about YOU is because she needs to see you for who you
are… NOT see you as “just her friend who gives her what she wants.”

Women WANT you to lead!

We love a man who does it!

We have friends and family already; we don’t need one more in the form of a guy (I
PROMISE YOU WE DON’T!)

And because she’s been running the ball for so long for HERSELF, it’s time to force that
ball out of her hands and make it about YOU.
 Reconnection



What is it and why is it necessary?

Where the Force Fumble was the first phrase or conversation, the Reconnection phase is the
realignment of your relationship to be in your favor.

In other words, you’re gonna lead the interactions and relationship from here on out. The
point here is too re-align the relationship at the EXPENSE of the friendship.

So remember what I said earlier about LOSING the friendship to get out of the Friend Zone?
Well this is the part where you CHANGE YOUR friendly habits and start reconnecting in a way
that puts YOUR wants and needs first.

During the Distancing phase, I talked about being there for her in ways that benefited her
getting what she wants.

In this phase, you’re going to refrain from giving her ANYTHING really because that’s not what
we’re here for.

You’re not here to submit to her wants and needs and demands, you’re not here to prove to her that
you’re awesome, and you’re not here to try to subtly convince her ONE MORE TIME that you’re fucking
amazing.

You’re here to be ok with wanting her and GET HER, regardless of how she’s felt about you in the past
and what she’s already told you.

You’re not friends anymore and she needs to see your newfound relationship as one that is grounded
in an “US” as opposed to a benefit to HER at the cost of what YOU want.

If you go back to your Trusty Triangle (Module 1 in Speak To Spark Arousal), you’ll remember that
women want a man who has an AMAZING LIFE that WE can be a part of…

Not a guy who can so easily fall into the background of the lives WE already lead.

So say goodbye to your FORMER means of interacting with her and get ready to make this about
yourself and fitting HER into YOUR life instead of being phased out in HERS.



How?
OK you might be a little confused as to how you can make your new relationship “about ME” without
coming off as a selfish bastard. BUT if you went through Speak to Spark Arousal already…you’d know
that this is quite CLEARLY not the case! ;-) And the first step in the Reconnection phase and in the Speak
to Spark Arousal Sequence is to reframe all your interactions as “Me + You + Us.”

The newfound frame NEEDS to be positioned with you leading her into your life by speaking about
YOURSELF and how SHE fits into it. For example, “Ya know my boss is being such a dick lately and I can’t
help but secretly contemplate his death every day haha… how do YOU deal with it when your boss is
being an idiot?”

Again, I’m not asking you to disappear into the unknown. Which means there’s no need to BLOCK HER
on social media or anything like that and ABSOLUTELY no need to TELL HER that you’re distancing
yourself.

In fact, WHATEVER you do don’t TELL HER. The idea isn’t to try to force her hand into noticing you…
because she definitely will once you step out of this role you’ve carved out for yourself.

To accomplish this step, JUST STOP TALKING TO HER. For how long you ask? Depending on how
long and how OFTEN you talk to her, a good rule of thumb is to DOUBLE the amount of time you
normally spend not talking to her OR cut the time you DO spend talking to her by half.

So for instance, if you work together and see each other every day, if possible make it so that you only
see each other every OTHER day.

OR if you see each other every day and stop to chat for about 10 minutes every day, see each other
every OTHER day and cut your chats down to 5 minutes or less. If you DON’T work together and you talk
via text maybe once a week, STOP INITIATING TEXT all together and take a week-long break from her.

The main point to take here is that you actually have to CONNECT. Who are YOU and how does SHE
relate?

This means no more Google Gaming (if you don’t know what that means go back to Speak To Spark
Arousal), it means no more letting her dominate the conversation about her and her life, and it ALSO
means no more talking about yourself WITHOUT asking her how she can relate.

And, YES, I mean all your interactions from here absolutely have to connect. You can obviously lend a
listening ear because you don’t wanna be an asshole…but if you’re letting her vent and talk (like a good
PERSON would do), make sure to CONSISTENTLY relate.

A great friendship starts with a connection as much as a great RELATIONSHIP does. The only
difference is a friendship can exist without an actual connection, whereas a relationship CANNOT.
From here on out, make sure ALL your conversations and interactions focus on just these 3 things:
 Spark Arousal


What is it and why is it necessary?
This is the point of no return. She has friends already. You’re not here for that. The one thing that’s gonna
separate you from her friends is your DESIRE for her and you taking ACTION on it.

We women want to be wanted. It’s the reason I spend hundreds to thousands on hair, makeup, clothes,
shoes, and accessories every year and the same reason MILLIONS of women do every day! Again, you’re
doing her a DISSERVICE by not showing her how much you want her.

I had a client who was in the Friend Zone with a girl and one night they were hanging out watching TV… He
got a call from another guy friend that said, “Hey let’s go out tonight.”

While my client REALLY wanted to sit in and watch TV with his lady love…he didn’t wanna sit there and be
her Backburner Boyfriend who would give her the time, care, and listening ear until some OTHER GUY she
actually wanted came along.

(In fact, he had already TOLD HER he wanted her and she said, “I only see you as a friend.”)

So cut back to my client and his “friend” on the couch watching Netflix. He says to her, “Ya know what I
actually wanna go out tonight…I’m gonna go to the bar with John.” She looks at him and says, “Well I don’t
wanna go out…why don’t we just stay in?”

And then he says to her, “Listen, I want you and I’ve already told you that. Just like you’ve told ME that you
only see me as a friend. While I respect that, I still respect myself and still want you and don’t wanna sit in
and PLAY boyfriend with you. I’m gonna go out.”

She was so stunned that she ended up begging him to stay in with her and eventually was the one to make
a move on my client THAT NIGHT! You have to be ok with wanting her…and you have to be ok with showing
her…and you HAVE TO be ok with where SHE currently is.

Because taking a stand for yourself, controlling who you are in the relationship and where it goes, and
letting her follow however which way she wants and whenever she’s ready…THAT’S the stuff that’s gonna
make her really fall for you.

Again, we WANT YOU to lead…just as much as we wanna follow. If you don’t take it there and take the
necessary steps to spark arousal…she sure as hell WON’T. And now it’s time to take the final step OUT of
the Friend Zone and finally Speak to Spark Arousal.



How?
This is where the entire Speak to Spark Arousal sequence is the most crucial. (For the exact steps and
techniques, refer back to your Speak to Spark Arousal program).

Where she felt the DIFFERENCE and your ABSENSE in the Distancing phase and the actual CONNECTION
to you in the Reconnecting, now she’s gonna feel GOOD about you and ATTRACTED to you.

The first step in sparking arousal is to create the connection in making her feel FAMILIAR and
COMFORTABLE with you.

Chances are you already have that as a friend, but in the reconnecting phase, you’re meant to make sure
she feels an actual SOLID connection to YOU. Not a connection in your common interests or common
friends or common environment… A connection to YOU only.

The second step involves making her laugh. After she feels the connection, she needs to feel GOOD
about the guy with which she FEELS that connection. This is why it’s important to get silly and playful in
your interactions if you haven’t already.

The final step involves getting flirtatious with her and showing her you want her.

It doesn’t mean giving some GRAND gesture or proclamation of your love…but rather
remarking on what you like about her and WHY, holding eye contact longer than 3 seconds
and positioning yourself closer to her, letting her know what she does to you, and
dropping sex and sexuality into your conversation topics (for more elaborate techniques,
refer back to Speak To Spark Arousal).

Unless you illicit all 3 of these emotions, you will not spark arousal.

And unless you show her you want her…and remain FIRM and OK with that…you won’t get
out of the Friend Zone.
 Conclusion

 Plenty of guys get into the Friend Zone because women assume the guys don’t want her. But
NEWSFLASH we WANT YOU to want us!

I have a girlfriend who was friends with a guy for 20 years… He flew into California one weekend
to hang out with her and she posted a status on her Facebook that read, “Hiking this grand old
mountain with this grand old friend,” to which I commented, “Oooooh sounds hot and steamy!”

They both read that comment together on top of that mountain and, before I had introduced
the concept of them together, neither one of them had even conceived of such a notion. But
from that day on…you bet your ass neither one of them looked at each other as a friend
thereafter.

(Yes I’m saying that they proceeded to have hot and steamy sex and one of the most
passionate relationships I’ve ever been witness to date.) You may think the Friend Zone is the
helpless zone…but it’s NOT. It’s a step! Most guys can’t even get HERE!

But we, ladies, WANT a man who can be our friend as well as our lover…and if you’re a guy who
hasn’t showed her how much you want her…chances are she gave up on the notion and accepted
having you for the awesome, supportive FRIEND that she really needed.

So unless you take these 4 crucial steps to stepping OUT of the Friend Zone…you’ll never know…
and neither will we!

Don’t worry about the distance you’re putting between you two; if you’re afraid that she’ll forget
about you or won’t care…you’re obviously not in a state where you think you’re worthy of never
forgetting!

If you truly believe that you’re the man for her…then don’t worry about losing face time with her.
Don’t worry about not being there to show her how dedicated and devoted and WORTHY you
are… because if she doesn’t wanna be with you at THIS point…chances are she’s not seeing it that
way.
AND YOU NEED HER TO SEE YOU DIFFERENTLY!

Which is what the Force Fumble is all about. Coming back after some time is like hearing a former favorite,
overplayed song again after some time…it reignites your circuits and gets you dancing again!

And that’s what we’re doing here…getting her to remember what it’s like to light up at the sight and thought of
you…because right now she’s too desensitized to you.

Which brings us to the reconnection…the NEW connection you’re forging because the old way wasn’t workin out
for ya, right?

Remember, the point of reconnection isn’t just to say, “Hey I’m back!” The point of reconnection is to say, “Hey, I’m
back and this is gonna be DIFFERENT.” Which then brings us to our final step, the Spark Arousal phase.

This is the most crucial part of stepping out of the Friend Zone because it’s the one thing that’s
gonna separate you from any other person in her life…

And unless you execute this successfully…you will end up, AGAIN, like every other person in her
life (which is NOT in bed beside her).

As far as I’m concerned, you’re doing her a disservice by not making your move. We all want
wonderful, loyal, considerate, sensitive men in our lives…and we want THOSE guys…to wanna
fuck the shit out of us (there, I said it).

We want the guy who will stop at nothing to have us…the guy who isn’t ashamed of how much
we turn him on…the guy who isn’t afraid to say, “I want you and if you don’t want me it’s not
gonna change a damn thing.”

That’s a man of convictions…and that’s what we want! So if you’re in the Friend Zone now,
consider yourself half-way there…

But whatever you do, PLEASE don’t stop there. Take action now to get your girl because, even if
she’s already told you she doesn’t want you, she’s gonna want the YOU that finally comes back
to her as a man that wants her… NOT as the friend who’ll put himself on the back burner at her
expense.