the winter months in New York City
Bananas cure
colds, science says
by Alyssa Gibson
In New York, it’s difficult to get
around germs. They’re wrapped
around every subway pole, clinging
to your hands. They’re in your face,
while you’re sharing stale air with
your neighbor on a jam-packed 6
train. They’re everywhere – on the
phones in the office, on the door
handle of the coffee shop, in the
bathroom in your apartment.
Even if you’re good about taking your
vitamins, coming down with a cold in
is virtually unavoidable.
But what if a common household
food we all have access to could cure
colds instantly? According to reports
released yesterday, America’s most
popular fruit, the Cavendish banana,
out of a specific sector of Guatemala,
has been discovered as having newly
developed bacteria-battling qualities.
Dr. T. Angelo Manzano, Ph.d.,
produce specialist, made the
Cavendish discovery. “We’re not
sure how it happened,” Manzano
explained, “but it seems that the
common Cavendish ‘Chiquita’
banana has inexplicably developed a
new resilient enzyme, which – once
ingested by humans – inhibits the
growth of all present strains of cold-
causing bacteria.”
In his initial study, Manzano
gathered 100 patients – of mixed
age, race, sex, and medical history –
that exhibited classic cold symptoms.
They were then divided into four
groups. The first was given only
generic cold medicine; the second,
only Echinacea; the control group, a
placebo pill; and the last, the
Guatemalan Cavendish enzyme in
capsule form.
The results were astounding. 24 of
the 25 patients given the Guatemalan
Cavendish enzyme had complete
symptom relief just 12 hours later.
The generic medicine and Echinacea
groups had a roughly 48% relief rate
after 24 hours, and of the placebo
group, only 6 patients felt any
symptom alleviation after 48 hours.
Dr. Manzano took his study a step
further, taking samples of intestinal
bacteria from each patient 24 hours
after the ingestion of each respective
remedy. In the Cavendish group, all
but one patient had little to no
detectable strains of cold-causing
bacteria. Of the generic medication
and Echinacea groups, patients had
only up to a 30% reduction of bad
bacteria cultures. The control group
had only a 15% reduction.
So what does this mean for us? “The
data is overwhelming,” Manzano
commented. “In current studies, we
keep getting the same results – the
Guatemalan Cavendish enzyme,
whether taken as a capsule or with
the banana as a whole, is
unparalleled in terms of its
effectiveness. It is absolutely a cold-
curing agent, and further tests have
proven it to be non-toxic and safe for
extended use.”
In conclusion? “Eat bananas,”
Manzano suggests. “‘An apple a day’
is old news. A banana a week should
do it.’”