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The paper attempts to analyse shifts in parenting styles in two films of Hindi cinema-
Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jaenge and Piku. One observes how there have been quite a lot of
alterations in the way the idea of parenting itself has been dealt with in the form of visual media.
Parenting, undoubtedly serves the role of shaping the child itself at the end of the day. The
paper identifies the alteration in the idea of parenting in these films of different decades in
relation to the understanding of the notions of gender, ethnicity and visual media and thus,
implying that parenting has become more authoritative rather than authoritarian over time using
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Chapter 1-Introduction
Area of Research
The area of research in this paper are two films from the Hindi cinema- Dilwale
Dulhaniya Le Jaenge (released on 20 October, 1995) and Piku (released on 8 May, 2015).
Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge (also known as DDLJ), the first visual text, falls under
the romantic genre where two young non-resident Indians, living in London- Raj (played by
Shahrukh Khan) and Simran (played by Kajol) end up falling in love during a “Euro-trip”.
However, Simran’s marriage is already fixed with her father’s friend’s son in India. In order to
confess his love for Simran, Raj flies to India where he proposes Simran for marriage. After a
lot of hustle and bustle, Raj wins the trust of her family and eventually they end up living
happily ever after. The film is directed by Aditya Chopra and is produced by Yash Chopra.
Piku, the second visual text, is a story of a girl, Puki Banerjee (played by Deepika
Padukone) and her old father, Bhashkon Banerjee (played by Amitabh Bachchan). The plot
revolves around the journey that the father and daughter take from Delhi to Kolkata via road
along with Rana Chaudhary (played by Irrfan Khan). The overarching theme that is presented
by the director- Shoojit Sircar in the film is that of the nuance relationship between a child and
a parent. The film is produced by N.P. Singh, Ronnie Lahiri and Sneha Rajani and casts various
other actors like Moushumi Chatterjee and Jisshu Sengupata portraying supporting roles.
Parenting style makes the research interesting in order to note how the personality of a person
is evolved in the due course of the film. Observing how the directors’ use this idea of parenting
is very appealing at the end of the day as one is able to observe and analyse the mind-sets of
the actors throughout and reflect upon the dependency of a parent in rearing a child.
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The research paper attempts to provide a sneak peek into the parenting styles adopted
in the Hindi cinema. It is important to study the kind of parenting that is used by an actor so
that he gets to know about the mentality of both the parent and the child. He understands, for
instance, how a parent, in an Indian context always tends to have quite a lot of expectations
from children (in the films) and how these expectations somehow affect the child’s upbringing.
When a researcher analyses the mind-set of a parent figure in the films which are a part of
two different timelines, he/she attempts to understand how there has been a shift in not only
the parenting style but also the idea of parenting. The research becomes important since the
shifts are now being recorded and eventually they would serve as a lens through which the
issues revolving around parenting could be viewed in the form of visual media.
Undoubtedly one is aware of the fact as to how the personality of the child is mostly shaped
by the kind of upbringing he receives and in the kind of environment he is brought up. When
a viewer observes on screen the nature of the child on the screen, he tends to connect it with
how the character is brought up. Therefore, when such details are recorded as a part of research,
Another important significance of this research is to analyse and thereby record the way in
which the relationships are portrayed in Hindi cinema. For instance, this type of research
describes the way in which the relationship between the parents and the child are projected in
the Hindi cinema over time. Meaning to say that the way parent-child relationship is being
portrayed in the film released in 1995 will be very different from the way in which it is explored
in the film which came out way much later than that.
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Chapter 2- Review of Literature
The following chapter draws a comparison between parenting styles of the two films-
Piku (2015) and Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jaenge (1995) respectively. The paper identifies the
alteration in the idea of parenting in these films of different decades in relation to the
understanding of the notions of gender, ethnicity and visual media and thus, implying that
parenting has become more authoritative rather than authoritarian over time using the
The reason behind choosing DDLJ as one of the primary texts is because of the presence
of staunch father figure which is very clearly evident in the film. Throughout the film we see
how is very unsupportive of his daughter. He tends to impose his ideologies on his daughter
and has very orthodox and conventional views. As opposed to this, is a film Piku where one
records change in the father figure over time. It is seen how the father figure in the film is
highly supportive and wants his daughter to be independent and doesn’t conform to the
patriarchal discourse. Throughout the film we see how he highly condemns the traditions which
The paper uses Baumrind’s Parenting Theory in order to study the parenting styles
adopted by the characters in the film. The reason behind choosing Baumrind’s Theory is
because the categories of parenting that are listen by Baumrind in her parenting styles fits into
the style of parenting that is adopted by the characters in the films. It also captures the part
where parenting can be clubbed into subsections of Demandingness and Responsiveness which
clearly indicates the two rear ends of the parenting which can further affect the upbringing of
the child.
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Methodology
Baumrind, a developmental psychologist, in her theory identifies and lists out three
1. authoritative parenting
3. permissive parenting
She also talks about how these parenting styles have two dimensions to it- Demandingness
Demandingness part talks about how the parents tend to have a control on their child’s
behaviour whereas the responsiveness part talks about the degree to which parents are
There are multiple ways in which parents can control their child’s behaviour one of them
is by exercising their authority of being a parent and listing the child the do’s and don’ts so that
they get a clear-cut idea of how they ought to behave. Another way in which parents control
their child’s behaviour is by listing out their expectations and further telling their kids as to
what will be the consequences if they do not succumb to those expectations. For instance, in
an Indian scenario, mostly parents decide as to what career will the kid pursue and more often
that not a child is burdened by their expectations and therefore cannot exercise his will at all.
He has to ultimately submit himself to the whims and fancies of his parent. Sometimes, if the
child does not come up to the level of the expectations of the parents, then he/she is mostly
criticised by the parent and referred to as a “disappointment” to the family which lowers the
self-esteem of the child and all the more hinders his growth as an individual.
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In visual media, specifically in Hindi cinema during the 90s, saw the emergence of
films where the parents controlled the life of the children and instead of understanding their
demands, they more often that not were critical of the behaviour their child portrayed. One of
such films is DDLJ, where Simran’s character throughout the film was controlled by her father,
Baldev Singh. Therefore, one also sees signs of lack of self confidence in her character where
she cannot take decisions for herself and is in need of someone else to assist her throughout the
film.
The responsiveness aspect brings into consideration the aspect of understanding as well
as it addresses the issue of sensitivity to ensure that the parent is thoughtful of the child’s
behaviour as well as his needs. In Hindi cinema one sees how there is a gap between the two
generations and the communication trait is almost non-existent. Both the parents as well as the
children are mostly reluctant to talk about pertinent issues, for example, child abuse, drugs,
sexuality, etc and more often that not, topics like these are considered as taboos. It is only with
globalisation seeping into the Indian culture that people started talking about things and
addressing vital issues which govern the Indian mentality to a very great extent. Recent film
makers try to break the long silence by making socially relevant films. For instance, in Piku,
one sees that the relationship between Piku and Bhashkor is not limited to the usual father-
daughter relationship that one sees in films as this duo is absolutely comfortable in talking and
discussing about various social issues which are quite relevant. It is because of this very reason
too that Piku breaks records and becomes an extraordinary work of art thereby receiving
commendation in a number of film festivals, further encouraging more socially relevant films
of such kind.
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Authoritative Parenting Style
The parents who adopt the Authoritative style/ Democratic style of parenting are more
responsive in nature than other parents. They are sensitive to the wants and needs of their
children and therefore aim at creating a positive environment in which they can grow. Certain
• Warm and Responsive: Even though these set of parents have high expectations from
their children, yet they also ensure that they these expectations do not hinder the growth
of their child in any which way. Meaning to say that they create a warm and responsive
environment for their children where the child can talk freely about anything he/she
feels like.
• Open Discussion: More often than not, before making a certain set of rules in order to
condition the behaviour of the child, parents who are authoritative in nature generally
discuss about it with the child and all the more talks to him freely about why there is a
need of that specific rule. This helps the child to be receptive and understanding of
certain set of behaviour which the parents think is important for him/her to embrace.
• Supportive: The parents who adopt this kind of parenting are mostly supportive of the
child. They understand the problems that the child faces and instead of playing the
Note: -
1. The parenting style adopted by Lajwanti, Simran’s mother, in the film, DDLJ, is
2. Bhashkor Bannerjee is also seen to adopt this type of parenting style since “he sets
rules and enforce boundaries” for Piku but at the same time states and discusses the
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The children who have authoritative parents encompasses these set of behaviours-
• They mostly appear to be content since they are raised by a set of parents who are
understanding in nature.
• They are quite independent and self-sufficient since they have been brought up in an
environment which has made them more conscious and aware of themselves and their
surroundings.
• They are bright academically because overtime they master the skill of knowing their
• They have high self-esteem as authoritative parents help them to handle situations by
• They have better social skills because they are pretty vocal about everything that
• Because they are conditioned to be expressive in nature and communicative about their
problems, they show comparatively lesser signs of depression and anxiety which also
Note- Some of the above stated set of characteristics are more evident in Piku’s character
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Authoritarian Parenting Style
Authoritarian Parenting Style is quite different from Authoritative style of parenting, in the
sense that parents who follow this particular style of parenting, expects their children to blindly
follow their orders which further connotes that parents have full control on the lives of their
children and they also tend to condition behaviour of their children in whichever way they
desire. They seldom tend to use very stern methods in order to control the behaviour of their
children and are not understanding of their needs. This is unlike the so called comforting
Note-
• At some points in Piku, Amitabh Bachchan is also seen to adopt this type of parenting
style where he exercises his free will instead of listening to his daughter. However, this
The children who are raised by parents who follow the authoritarian style of parenting show
• They are mostly unhappy since they lack free will as their parents are pretty controlling
in nature.
• They are not independent mostly because their parents tend to take all their decisions
for them.
• They tend to be insecure about things and people because they are grown up in a
restrictive environment.
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• They have issues regarding self-esteem because they lack voice and agency in their own
life.
• They also tend to reflect certain behavioural problems which is again a result of the
• Their academic records are poor because of their disturbed mental state.
• They generally have problem to communicate and hence they have poor social skills.
• Lastly, they also tend to face mental problems like anxiety and depression.
Note: - The character of Simran in DDLJ highlights traces of such kind of behaviour.
The parents who follow the permissive style of parenting tend to set comparatively less rules
for their children. They try to not say no to their children about anything and thereby create a
Children who are raised by parents who adopt permissive parenting style generally show the
following traits:
• They cannot really follow any kind of rules since they are raised in an environment
• They don’t have self-control because they get everything without struggling.
• Also, they tend to be egocentric as they are raised in an environment where people do
• Lastly, they face problems in communicating with people because of their egoistic
attitude.
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Neglectful Parenting (Uninvolved)
Parents who adopt this particular type of parenting are reluctant to whatever happens in the
lives of their children and are therefore mostly uninvolved. They do not create any sort of
boundaries as well for their children. One of the main reason behind this act is because at
times they themselves have had mental issues such as depression and anxiety.
Children who are born to neglectful parents tend to show such kind of behaviour:
• They are mostly not able to control their emotions and are prone to have a nervous
breakdown mostly.
• They tend to get addicted to harmful substances like drugs which also led to the
In the article published in 2014, in Indian Express, titled “Only if daddy says ‘yes’ ”,
Parul Bhandari links parenting to the cultural aspect. She refers to Patricia Uberoi”s essay,
“The Diaspora Comes Home: Disciplining Desire in DDLJ” (2006) where she notes that the
film “endorse(s) glamorous lifestyles, and effortless and guiltless consumption”. She talks
about how the film connotes that what is essential to any Indian subject is its connection with
the family and the cultural values. This leads to the construction of India as a country which
gives lot of importance to its culture and heritage and upholds the family values and traditions.
She further talks about how Raj is a “true Indian” because he does not elope with Simran and
thereby prevents himself from committing the heinous crime of bringing “shame” to the family.
She says that one of the scenes which is referred to as “iconic” by the critics, portrays Simran’s
mother, Laajwanti, talking to her about how an ideal woman is a one who keeps her family
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ahead of her own self. She also draws instances from her own life and says that is the duty of
the woman only to carry on the traditions of her family. Even though she is completely aware
of the fact that the society is unjust to the women and they are meted out to oppression of
various kinds at different levels, yet she tries her best to convince Simran about how she should
forget Raj and marry Kuljeet, who is chosen by her father as it is the only correct and ideal
thing to do. This makes way to understanding the idea of parenting itself and the politics that
In an article, “4 Baumrind Parenting Styles”, the author talks about how parenting styles
vary from place to place. May be, authoritative parenting style might not work in some
countries. A child of sensitive temperament in the east cannot be brought up using a certain
theory that is used in the west. Lot of factors like the socio-economic backgrounds affect the
kind of parenting that is adopted in a particular place. The author gives instances from his/her
research and says that in a study on the students of the African American origin who are raised
by authoritative parents, it is noted that they did not excel in their academic endeavours when
they were devoid of any peer support as opposed to the set of students from Asian-American
origin who had ample support from their peers and who were raised by a set of authoritarian
parents. Also, in Spain, indulgent as well as authoritative parenting styles gave way to good
outcomes.
This draws an understanding of how the three parenting styles that are listed by
Baumrind are not necessarily an ideal way to raise a child as it is needless to say that the
parenting is subjected to change with change in race, class, gender and other socio-economic
factors. Meaning to say that, the parenting style used by a set of parents in America, might not
be suitable for the children who are being raised in an Indian environment. Since this paper
note that one cannot really deny the excessive control of men in an Indian household.
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Steve Drene in his article, “Hindu Men Talk About Controlling Women: Cultural Ideas
as a Tool of the Powerful” talks about how men generally prefer to uphold the family traditions
and honour. They feel that their economic success is guaranteed if they protect family’s honour.
He says that since he was an outsider, men were very flexible in talking about their views on
the topic of his research and they were not really apprehensive in talking about topics that
would hinder their so called “honourable place within their community”. They were pretty
vocal about stating how due to their self-interests they restricted the women of their household.
Shivam Vij in his article, “How DDLJ ruined my generation”, in the Scroll points out
that in visual media, the role of the father is predominant. He writes about how even though in
the film Simran’s mother and sister were happy with her choice of suitor, yet her father’s
verdict was the final one. He also points out how in the film Raj instead of eloping with Simran
is keen on impressing her family (most importantly her father) and winning her hand in turn
for marriage. According to Vij, this idea adds on to the patriarchal understanding of how “men
keep family and tradition (read patriarchy) alive, and they keep in check women’s unbridled
Sudhir Kakkar in his article, “Family Matters” points out how the idea of family s
represented in visual media. In DDLJ one sees how Baldev, Simran's father is constantly
reminded of India because in foreign land he seems to feel alienated. He says as to how
"Bhaarat" comprises of his own people, (apne log) and his family. He is seen to be missing
home throughout the film. In Piku, Bhashkor Bannerjee does not want his ancestral house to
be sold. Kakkar points out that even though the meaning of the word, family has been changing
over time in the Hindi cinema yet the purpose of it is something that has been constant.
Irrespective of what the state of affairs is, the protagonist always turns to his family for love
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and his emotional well-being. The concept of family is put on a pedestal where it is seen as an
ultimate institution which will provide care and comfort to the individual irrespective of
whatever life throws at him. Even though the boy and the girl elope and live in some far away
land, yet in the time of hardships they return to their family which provides shelter to their tired
soul. Thus, Hindi cinema seldom provides this grand idea of familial love to its audience which
also constructs an image of an ideal Indian family where everyone, devoid of their countless
differences would never turn their backs on each other and thereby uphold the honour and
tradition of the family. Family, therefore, constructs an ideal reality of its own irrespective of
the loopholes and the problems that the idea itself seems to give rise to.
Anuj Kumar in his article, in The Hindu, titled, “Piku: For the Motion”, points out that
films like Piku becomes a part of “progressive cinema”. He talks about how Piku is a story
about “modern-day father-daughter relationship”. This becomes peculiar in the sense that
mostly films in Hindi cinema centres around the male protagonist and it is rarely the case that
a female lead takes charge of her life and plays the role of a strong character. Piku, in that sense
becomes a film which breaks a lot of stereotypes which have been part of Indie cinema since a
very long time. Kumar also points out that Shoojit Sarkar, director of Piku, is also known for
making films which act as an eye opener for the audience and tries to erase all sorts of irrelevant
prejudices that Indian society functions around. Piku’s character is very different from that of
Simran or any other female lead in Bollywood who encompasses qualities of an ideal woman
that is, of chastity, shyness and fidelity. Piku is opposite of Simran in the sense that she is not
really trying to fit in this so called category of an ideal woman as one sees that in the film she
is depicted as a bold and independent woman who does all those things that an ideal Indian
Thus, one notes that the parenting style adopted in Piku is far different and progressive
as opposed to that adopted by Baldev Singh in DDLJ. Mila Tuli in her article, “Beliefs on
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Parenting and Childhood in India”, talks about how it is through education and globalization
that the parenting styles have transformed and it has become more authoritarian than
authoritative as parents began to play an active role in the lives of children by understanding
their dreams and desires instead of bombarding them with a lot of unnecessary expectations.
There have been umpteen number of instances where one makes note of how in DDLJ
the parenting style adopted by Simran’s Father, Baldev Singh is an authoritative one according
to the Baumrind’s Parenting Theory. The article, “How DDLJ ruined my generation” by
Shivam Vij in Scroll talks about how the decisions of the life of the daughter are very
conveniently taken by the father which in turn suggests that she cannot exercise her free will
throughout the film and is completely dependent on her parent. The article points out how the
film conveys the message that the child brought up by a set of Indian parents does not really
have the freedom of choice and ultimately has to bow down to the whims and fancies of the
parent. He talks about how various couples face this very problem of confessing their love to
their parents since they are unsure about the way their parents will react. They are reluctant in
telling them as well, in certain cases and end up marring the suitor of their parent’s choice. The
sole reason behind they not telling about their parents is because of the conventional thought
that the families have where they feel that a person ought to marry someone who belong to
their caste or religion and even class in certain cases. This seldom results in the couple breaking
up since they don’t see a future together just because of the hindrance occurred from their
families.
The author(s), Charlie Lewis and Michael E. Lamb, in their article, “Fathers’ influence
on children’s development: The evidence from two-parent families” talk about the roles played
by father figures in contributing towards the development of the child. They quote Christensson
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and write, “However, fathers interact with newborn infants much like mothers do (Rodholm &
Larsson, 1982), for example providing sufficient warmth for neonates.” (Lewis, Lamb: 212)
One can relate this to how the Bhashkor in Piku has a better relationship in terms of
communication and interaction with Piku as opposed to Baldev Singh with his daughter,
In DDLJ one sees how the parenting style adopted by the mother is very different from
the parenting style adopted by the father figure. She is mostly supportive of Simran and her
choices and tends to talk to her freely about various things and issues which Baldev Singh do
not really address. She is more like a friend to her than a mother and Simran shares her
problems with her. Even in the beginning of the film, one sees how Simran’s mother reads her
personal diary where she comes to know about the kind of man Simran would want to marry.
Also, in the second half of the film it is portrayed how she asks Raj and Simran to elope and
get married since her father would not agree to their marriage ever.
Tilu in her article, “Beliefs on Parenting and Childhood in India”, points out the beliefs
a father figure has about parenting as opposed to the mother. She says that it is through the
mother that the child tends to communicate his wants or needs to the father. Here, mother serves
as a link between the father and the child. Thus, the mother creates a “triangulation of
relationships” which further denotes that her role is only limited to be a link of communication
In DDLJ one sees example of this “triangular relationship” that Tilu talks about where
Simran talks about her wish to go on a “Euro trip” with her mother first instead of her father.
On the other hand, one sees that in Piku, Piku communicates freely whatever she has to, to her
father.
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Gender Inequality
Steve Drene in his article, “Hindu Men Talk About Controlling Women: Cultural Ideas
as a Tool of the Powerful”, talks about how there due to the “culture of power”, Indian women
tend to have a subservient position in their household. The husband tends to have an upper
hand in all the important family matters. They not only control the lives of their wives but also
of the other members at home. He talks about how the women at the house are expected to
behave in a certain manner and have a certain kind of attachment with the household. His article
focuses on how generally in Hindu culture one sees how the movement of women is restricted
outside the household wherein a lot of restrictions are imposed upon her. She lacks agency and
is controlled by her male counterparts be it her husband, brother or father. She has to take
permission of the man of the house before stepping out which draws our attention to how the
hierarchal position of men in the house which leads to the subjugation of women at the hands
of the men.
This can be related to how in both the films there have been instances of gender
inequality, however the context in which they are addressed is very different. For instance, in
DDLJ, Simran becomes subject of this gender inequality where she has no freedom of choice
and on the other hand in Piku, Bhashkor constantly talks about how Piku should not be
supressed by a male figure and she should not give her identity away for anyone.
He talks about how unmarried girls are treated differently in an Indian household and
how several men told him that “girls need to be carefully chaperoned as soon as girls are old
enough to understand that there is a difference between boys and girls. He says that the honour
of the family is determined by the status of the family to which the daughter of the house is
married to. Here, the aspect of class and caste also comes in where the girl is not allowed to
marry anyone who belong to the lower class. In order to marry their sisters/daughters off in a
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nice family, the men of the house, mostly her brother and her father, monitor her behaviour by
imposing a certain set of restrictions and also limit her interactions with other men. He says,
“After their daughters reach a particular age, which ranges from 5 to 13, the men I interviewed
Sudhir Kakkar’s article, “Family Matters” also addresses the predominant role of a
father figure in a child’s life. He says that in an Indian family belonging to an orthodox
There have been memes and various comedian-based reviews of DDLJ where the
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(Gill, Rath. “Pretentious Movie Reviews”.)
On analysing the above articles, one encounters the overarching areas of research in
field of parenting, child upbringing, gender politics and finally, the visual representation of
family in Hindi cinema. This research paper, thus, explores the shifts in the parenting styles
adopted in the Hindi cinema and how it draws a larger implication that parenting has become
more authoritarian rather that authoritative over time, in films, by making use of the
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Chapter 3 - Analysis
This chapter aims to provide critical analysis of the two films thereby aiming to reflect
upon the various themes that fall under the subheadings of- Cultural and Ethnic Projection,
Gender Inequality respectively. Baumrind’s theory of Parenting Styles will further be used as
a tool to contribute to the larger understanding of the way the idea of “Parenting” is perceived
in the Hindi cinema. Analysis of the films- Piku (2015) and Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jaenge
(1995) adds on to the larger purpose of identifying the alteration in the idea of parenting in
these films of different decades in relation to the understanding of the notions of gender,
ethnicity and visual media and thus, implying that parenting has become more authoritative
rather than authoritarian over time using the Baumrind’s Theory of Parenting.
This chapter has been divided into five sections where in, each section comprises of
specific instances from the films which point out the kind of parenting style that is adopted by
the characters in the films. It is important to point out the fact that the two films belong to two
different decades which enables one to trace the shifts in terms of not only the various film
techniques adopted by the film makers, but also in terms of different varieties of themes
altogether that are portrayed; one of them being that of the parenting style.
The very first aspect that the chapter throws light on is that of Cultural and Ethnic
Projection. This heading encompasses the way the idea of culture is depicted in the films. For
instance, Punjabis are projected to be very loud and hyperactive bunch of people in DDLJ
whereas in Piku, Bengali characters are viewed to be pretty blunt characters. This view gives
way to the understanding of construction of idea of culture and ethnicity in films which more
often than not contribute to the reinforcement of various stereotypes which may or may not be
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The section on Visual Media Representation comments on the way the visual media
represents certain ideas. For instance, the idea of love in Hindi cinema is generally seen as the
sole purpose of one’s life where the actors ought to fall into love which will further become an
integral part of their existence itself. Various aspects and ideas are represented and tweaked by
the whims and fancies of the film makers which are more often than not subjected to change in
Another section on Parenting styles lists out the types of parenting styles adopted by
the characters in the films. These parenting style draw inferences from the theory of parenting
by Baumrind and are classified under the larger headings of Authoritative, Authoritarian and
Neglected Parenting.
The section on Child Upbringing/Parenting roles explore the idea of how parenting
style is affected by the gender of the child in the films. Meaning to say that a girl child will be
brought up in a very different manner as compared to the way a boy child is raised. This section
also throws light on the variations in the parenting styles adopted by the mother and father, and
The last section on Gender Inequality attempts to address the issue of how a child is
raised differently and is further subjected to oppression on the basis of his/her gender. For
instance, in DDLJ, Ajit Singh raises his children Kuljeet and Preeti in a very different manner
which is pretty evident in their personalities as Kuljeet is presented as this bold, strong character
In both the films- DDLJ and Piku one sees how the characters in the films are constantly
holding to the idea of culture and ethnicity irrespective of which generation they belong to.
They are also projecting certain attitudes and behaviours which reflect that their heritage seems
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to be the most important thing to them. They are upholding the ideas of “Sanskriti” (Culture)
In the film, DDLJ, one sees how Baldev Singh is holding on to his identity as an Indian
throughout despite of staying in London. He is imparting the same nationalistic values and
ideas to his children- Simran and Rajeshwari. Even though both of them are raised in a foreign
land yet they have no choice but to stick to their identity as an Indian because of their staunch
father figure. There is an instance in the film where Simran wants to go on a Euro trip but she
has to ask about it to her father who is critical of the West and hates the idea of his daughters
In the article published in 2014, in Indian Express, titled “Only if daddy says ‘yes’ ”,
Parul Bhandari links parenting to the cultural aspect. She refers to Patricia Uberoi’s essay, “The
Diaspora Comes Home: Disciplining Desire in DDLJ” (2006) where she notes that the film
“endorse(s) glamorous lifestyles, and effortless and guiltless consumption”. She talks about
how the film connotes that what is essential to any Indian subject is its connection with the
family and the cultural values. This leads to the construction of India as a country which gives
lot of importance to its culture and heritage and upholds the family values and traditions. She
further talks about how Raj is a “true Indian” because he does not elope with Simran and
thereby prevents himself from committing the heinous crime of bringing “shame” to the family.
One also sees that in the film, Simran’s mother, in one instance explains to her that it is the job
In Piku, one sees how Bhashkor Bannerjee holds on to his ancestral house until his
death because it is the only way that he would be linked to his culture and tradition. Bhashkor
Bannerjee seems to break the stereotype that Indian girls should encompass shy and subversive
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Drene in his article, “Hindu Men Talk About Controlling Women: Cultural Ideas as a Tool of
the Powerful” talks about how men generally prefer to uphold the family traditions and honour
by restricting women of the family. However, one sees how Bhashkor is never restricting Piku.
There is an instance in the film where he even remarks about how the girls should be able to
speak for themselves considering that the society mostly favours the male gender. One sees
that, Piku in the film is depicted as a strong, independent character who is constantly voicing
out her opinions as opposed to the docile character of women that is generally portrayed in
other Bollywood films. There is a scene, in the film where she voices out her judgement in a
meeting instead of submitting to her male counterparts. This also tends to break the stereotype
One of the problems that is embedded in the cultural and ethnic representation is that it
tends to create stereotypes instead of informing the audience about the culture of a particular
community. However, one sees that with time, progressive films are being made which attempt
This section talks about how visual media aims to project things in a certain manner
which leads to fetishization, in terms of Lacan. Jaques Lacan talks about how when an
idea/concept is reified continuously, and then it comes concretised which further leads to
idealisation. Fetishization thus gives rise to not only stereotypes but also archetypes.
In DDLJ, one sees how it is portrayed that it is because of Simran being an ideal
daughter that she has to take permission from her parents about everything instead of doing
whatever she feels like. This becomes problematic because it constructs an ideal image of a
child wherein he/she is ought to succumb to the wants and desires of the parent.
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It is also important to note that in visual media males plays an important role of the
protagonist whereas female is seen as the other. Shivam Vij in his article, “How DDLJ ruined
my generation”, in the Scroll points out that in visual media, the role of the father is
predominant. He writes about how even though in the film Simran’s mother and sister were
happy with her choice of suitor, yet her father’s verdict was the final one. He also points out
how in the film Raj instead of eloping with Simran is keen on impressing her family (most
importantly her father) and winning her hand in turn for marriage. According to Vij, this idea
adds on to the patriarchal understanding of how “men keep family and tradition (read
patriarchy) alive, and they keep in check women’s unbridled desires which threaten tradition”.
(Vij)
Piku, as the names suggests, revolves around a girl called Piku who is living with her
father. Her story is opposed to the usual films in Hindi cinema where the girl is saved by the
male. She is thus, portrayed as a self-sufficient girl who is not in dire need of a man.
Another important aspect that comes into picture is that of how family becomes a major
feature of the films in Hindi cinema. In DDLJ one sees how Baldev, Simran's father is
constantly reminded of India because in foreign land he seems to feel alienated. He says as to
how "Bharat" comprises of his own people, (apne log) and his family. Baldev Singh in the
opening scene of the film described London to be the biggest city of the world. He talks about
how even though he has spent 22 years of his life in this land, he still feels like and alien here
which all the more connote how he constantly potrays and holds on to this idea of him being
an Indian who will never consider a foreign country to be his home. He is seen to be missing
home throughout the film. In fact the film itself begins with the song titled, “Ghar aaja Pardesi
tera des bulaye re” (Come back home foreigner as your home awaits your presence).
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The theme of family love also becomes a part of Piku where Bhashkor Bannerjee does
not want his ancestral house to be sold. One sees that all the members of the family reunite in
that house and have a gala time. Also, the Bannerjee house is seen to hold family get-together
in one instance where they gather and rejoice while talking about the past memories. As Sudhir
“The shift that can be traced here is that though the definition of family has changed
over time in Bollywood films yet one thing that remains constant throughout is the fact
everyone seems to fall back on the emotions/things attached with the family if not the
The following section is divided into two parts- Child Upbringing and Parenting Roles
which are further understood in relation to the concept of gender itself. The first part deals with
how the gender of the child affects the parenting style adopted by the parents whereas the
second part comments on how “Male Parenting” is different from “Female Parenting”.
child and the male child is more often than not in a superior position because of the inherent
patriarchal nature of the society. In DDLJ, one sees how Simran is raised in an environment
where she really has to think twice before exercising her free will. On the other hand, one sees
how Raj or even Kuljeet for that matter, is raised in a completely different manner where not
many restrictions are imposed on them. Piku, which was released almost two decades later,
portrays a complete shift where one sees how Piku is not raised in any sort of restrictive
environment which also contributes to the construction of a confident and smart female
protagonist.
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Gender of the child determines the parenting style that he/she is meted to. Generally, in
an Indian society, girls/women of the house are dominated by the male(s) which is clearly
evident in a film like DDLJ where Baldev Singh controls the women of the house and a sense
of power is associated to his character throughout the film. The film maker creates an
environment for the viewers where they see how Simran at various instances is very reluctant
Another important fact that should be brought into notice is that of how many a times
in Hindi cinema a girl is mostly the bearer of the traditions and values of the family. She is
expected to think about the family before anything else as the family’s honour is mostly at the
stake of the decisions that she would take. The task of the men, on the other hand, is to keep a
check on the women by exercising their power and thus, more often than not taking decisions
for them. This in turn throws light on the aspect of gender inequality which will be discussed
It is extremely important to bring into notice as to how the role that is played by the
father is very different from that of the mother. There have been umpteen number of instances
where one makes note of how in DDLJ the parenting style adopted by Simran’s Father, Baldev
Singh is an authoritative one according to the Baumrind’s Parenting Theory. The article, “How
DDLJ ruined my generation” by Shivam Vij in Scroll talks about how the decisions of the life
of the daughter are very conveniently taken by the father which in turn suggests that she cannot
exercise her free will throughout the film and is completely dependent on her parent. The article
points out how the film conveys the message that the child brought up by a set of Indian parents
does not really have the freedom of choice and ultimately has to bow down to the whims and
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“There are several variations of the marriage problem that men and women on their
twenties and early thirties face. They don’t want to marry yet but do it because their
parents want it. They love someone outside caste or religion (rarely class, these days)
This theory is however not applicable in the case of Piku where one can note how
Bhashkor has a better relationship in terms of communication and interaction with Piku as
opposed to Baldev Singh with his daughter, Simran in the film, DDLJ and therefore his wife,
Lajwanti acted as a medium through which they (Simran and Baldev Singh) could interact with
each other. Tilu in her article, “Beliefs on Parenting and Childhood in India”, says that this
Gender Inequality
This section deals with how there are various instances of gender inequality prevalent
in both the films in different contexts. Meaning to say that in DDLJ one can point out various
instances where females are meted to unjust behaviour by the men while on the other hand in
Piku, men themselves are constantly seen to inform the women about the basis of this inequality
in the film. Steve Drene in his article, “Hindu Men Talk About Controlling Women: Cultural
Ideas as a Tool of the Powerful”, talks about how due to the “culture of power”, Indian women
tend to have a subservient position in their household. The husband tends to have an upper
hand in all the important family matters. They not only control the lives of their wives but also
of the other members at home. He talks about how the women at the house are expected to
behave in a certain manner and have a certain kind of attachment with the household.
There is an instant in the film Piku, where Bhashkor talks about how women should not
submit themselves to the desires of the males. He further condemns marriage and says that it
somehow restricts the growth of the women as immediately after their marriage; women
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become subjected to oppression of all sorts-both, mental and physical. Drene also talks about
how unmarried girls are treated differently in an Indian household and how during his research
several men told him that “girls need to be carefully chaperoned as soon as girls are old enough
“To protect marriage prospects for their daughters, men carefully monitor their
unmarried daughters’ behaviour to limit their interactions with unrelated men. After
their daughters reach a particular age, which ranges from 5 to 13, the men I interviewed
There have been memes and various comedian-based reviews of DDLJ where the
In their series called, “Pretentious Movie Reviews”, one sees how Kanan Gill and
Biswa Kalyan Rath makes fun of how Simran has to take consent of her father so that she can
go on a Euro trip. They relate it to how Indian parents, who mostly follow the authoritarian
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style of parenting, and thereby control the lives of their children. They further represent in a
comical manner how Indian kids tend to approach their mothers first about something they
want and she further communicates it to their father. This can be related to Tuli’s idea of mother
being a connecting link between the father and children in an Indian context. In DDLJ also one
sees how Simran first approaches her mother and tries to convince her to talk to her father
Parenting Style
According to Baumrind’s Theory of Parenting, there are three kinds of parenting styles-
Authoritative, Authoritarian and Neglectful (Uninvolved) Parenting. In the two films, one
sees the contrast in the parenting style adopted by the characters. This contrast could also be
because of the change in the time period in which these films were released in. It is important
to note that with time, the parenting has become for Authoritative than Authoritarian. Meaning
to say that the new age parents, as portrayed in films, have become more susceptible to the
problems that their children face as opposed to the characters who played the role of parents in
the films released in the 90s. It is important to bring in the aspect of “Demandingness” and
“Responsiveness” that Baumrind talks about. One can see how in DDLJ, parents are more
reluctant and stern whereas in Piku, Bhashkor is involved in the life of his daughter and
In Piku, it becomes pretty evident that Bhashkor adopts the Authoritative parenting
style because he is sensitive of the wants and needs of Piku and creates a positive and healthy
environment which leads to her growth. Throughout the film, one also sees that Piku tends to
talk freely about whatever she wants to with her father. There is not even a trace of shyness or
uncomfortableness evident in their relationship. They also discuss extremely pertinent social
issues that govern the Indian society. When Bhashkor dies in the film, Piku also talks about
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how he has prepared her to face the challenges of life even in his absence. This very sign of
self-confidence and trust is symbolic of how the children of authoritative parents are. Piku is
quite independent and self-sufficient since she has been brought up in an environment which
has made her more conscious and aware of herself and surroundings. She also seems to have
high self-esteem as her father helped her to handle situations of all sorts by discussing and
this stern father figure who controls the life of his daughter in the film. He is quite reluctant in
accepting the new ways of living and mostly wants the things to go his way. This also becomes
one of the sole reason behind the disturbing relationship between him and his daughter, Simran.
He hardly seems to understand Simran and at various points in the film one sees how Simran
has to take his advice before doing anything which further suggests that she does not really
have any sort of agency. Even when she falls in love with Raj and wants to marry him, she
realises that, that cannot really happen since her father has already fixed her marriage with his
friend’s son, Kuljeet. There is a sense of authoritative power that Baldev Singh has which he
exercises on all the other characters of the film too. Therefore, none of the female leads have a
voice and this is also where the aspect of culture seeps in, where in the man of the family
oppresses the women of the house. He also wanted his children to blindly follow all his orders
One sees that due to this style of parenting adopted by the character of Baldev Singh,
Simran was an unhappy child throughout the movie, except when she meets Raj, since she
lacked free will. When one compares her character with that of Piku, it is pretty noticeable that
Simran is not at all independent mostly because her parents took all her decision. She is also
seen to be insecure about things and people since she is grown up in a pretty restrictive
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environment. Her poor self esteem throughout the film was also something that was pretty
evident.1
1
However, it could also be because of the time period in which the film was released since at
that time the images of women as an epitome of chastity and purity were celebrated.
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Chapter 4-Conclusion
This paper attempts to draw conclusion that analysis of the films- Piku (2015) and
Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jaenge (1995) adds on to the larger purpose of identifying the alteration
in the idea of parenting in these films of different decades in relation to the understanding of
the notions of gender, ethnicity and visual media and thus, implying that parenting has become
more authoritative rather than authoritarian over time using the Baumrind’s Theory of
Parenting. Various instances from both the films have been discussed in the paper to prove the
same.
Parenting style acts like an add on factor to make the research interesting since the personality
of a person is mostly shaped by the kind of upbringing he or she gets. Observing how the
directors’ use this idea of parenting is very appealing at the end of the day as one is able to
observe and analyse the mind-sets of the actors throughout and reflect upon the dependency of
a parent in rearing a child. Thus, the research helps in studying the larger field of Visual Media.
The paper also explored how parenting is influenced by various other factors as
discussed in the sub headings of Visual Media Representation, Gender, Ethnicity, etc. It is only
when one reflects critically that, he/she is able to study the method in which child is brought
up in an Indian setup in films. More often than not, films view the idea of parenting in a very
unique manner. Film makers, at present, tend to break the stereotypes in the present film and
try to explore a variety of nuances that are often overlooked in cinema. As opposed to this, old
film makers attempted to stick to the stereotypes which further led to reinforcement of cultural
archetypes.
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The culture, undoubtedly affects the upbringing of the child. Bollywood often portrays
films where the characters stick to their culture and perform a certain set of actions whereas on
the other hand, there are also films where this pattern is broken and characters break a certain
set of cultural norms and do their part by fighting their way through the customs of the society.
Sometimes, these films also receive the status of a “Hit” where the mainstream thinking is
challenged whereas other times films also get banned or are a total flop because may be the
audience is not ready to accept the reality that is projected on the screen. They might not be
convinced and probably, also not be ready too, to let go off the set of values that they had been
holding since a very long time. It, therefore, depends on the risk that the film maker is ready to
take. Fortunately, new film makers do take this huge leap of projecting a harsh reality in order
to give rise to a challenging form of cinema which would in turn create an awakening in the
Lastly, the paper addressed the idea of gender which talks about the major role it plays
in the style of parenting. Parents are more often than not, conscious about how they will deal
with the child depending upon the sex of the child. Gender, too, plays an important role where
one sees that how in earlier films girls were brought up in a way that they turn out to be shy,
chaste and virtuous whereas, on the other hand, boys were taught to be bold and strong. This
itself talks about the discrimination that a child meets at the hands of his/her parents just
because of the gender that he/she has been ascribed to by the society.
Thus, these headings were further related to the two films of the Hindi cinema- Piku
and DDLJ and studied in respect to the various themes that are outlined in the films,
respectively.
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Works Cited
“4 Parenting Styles – Characteristics And Effects.” Parenting For Brain, 8 Oct. 2017,
www.parentingforbrain.com/4-baumrind-parenting-styles/
Barcellos, Silvia Helena, et al. “Child Gender and Parental Investments In India: Are Boys and
Derné, Steve. “Hindu Men Talk about Controlling Women: Cultural Ideas as a Tool of the
Powerful.” Sociological Perspectives, vol. 37, no. 2, 1994, pp. 203–227. JSTOR,
JSTOR, www.jstor.org/stable/1389320.
Kakar, Sudhir. “Family Matters.” India International Centre Quarterly, vol. 33, no. 3/4, 2006,
Kumar, Anuj. “Piku: For the motion.” The Hindu, 8 May 2015,
www.thehindu.com/features/metroplus/piku-for-the-motion/article7184772.ece.
Lewis, Charlie, and Michael E. Lamb. “Fathers' Influences on Children's Development: The
Online, IE. “Only if daddy says 'yes'.” The Indian Express, 13 Dec. 2014,
indianexpress.com/article/opinion/columns/only-if-daddy-says-yes/.
Tuli, Mila. “Beliefs on Parenting and Childhood in India.” Journal of Comparative Family
www.jstor.org/stable/41585382.
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Vij, Shivam. “How DDLJ ruined my generation.” Scroll.in, Https://Scroll.in, 3 Jan. 2017,
scroll.in/article/692288/how-ddlj-ruined-my-generation.
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