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Karen Garcia

Professor Jennifer Rodrick

English 115

October 23, 2018

Not an Outsider

Throughout the years, people that identify themselves as bisexuals have been pushed

aside by society. Being bisexual means being sexually attracted to people from any gender

identity or sex. Many people don’t believe in bisexuals because bisexuals are often described as

confused and not knowing what they are doing. It is often stressful and annoying because

according to biphobic people, bisexuals aren’t allowed to choose who they like or who they don’t

like. Bisexuals are expected to choose between being gay or being straight, which leads to a lot

of pressure and anxiety. Bisexuals want to stop being considered as outsiders because they want

to be able to be loved and to love both genders without having to make a choice. Young states

that we need to start seeing all sides. By saying that it is for our own intelligence she means that

it is for our own good and that we should treat each other the same.

There are already so many people out in the world that identify as bisexual. If being gay

was, in fact, a phase, the LGBTQ+ community would have never formed. Each sexuality is

represented by its own letter in LGBTQ+ but of course, there are many more and that is why the

‘+’, plus sign, is added. When these sub-communities are combined it brings the LGBTQ+

community together, but sometimes the community has its own thoughts and alienates bisexuals.
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“​Every time, without fail, that I go to a gay club, a networking mixer, or really anywhere where

there are queer people, I feel judged for not being ‘queer enough’,” Kim Ryberg, a bisexual

woman married to a man, told The Daily Beast.” If a girl is bisexual and then starts dating a guy,

it’s just as if she was straight in the first place. If she starts dating a girl, people will assume that

she’s a lesbian. There is no in between like when forms ask about your gender, it’s either male or

female and in some occasions, other is included. People often see bisexuality as half gay and half

straight but in reality, gender doesn't stop a couple from liking each other. The LGBTQ

community celebrates sexuality and gender and bisexuals fall under that topic.

Being bisexual is not a phase if there are so many people out there that from a young age

already know they are being suppressed by the likes of society to be something they don't want

to be. Its human nature to commit mistakes and the greatest mistake is to be ‘normal’ and fall for

societies expectations. A huge example of this is Nicole Maines from the book ​Becoming Nicole,

Nicole Maines is a transgender actress, who was born a boy. At CSUN’s Freshman Convocation

2018, Nicole was talking about how she already knew from a young age that she was meant to be

a girl. Her twin brother played video games and with action figures while she played with

Barbies and wore her mom’s heels. “S​ome gay teens say they had same-sex crushes in

childhood, just as their heterosexual peers had opposite-sex crushes.” (Sexual Orientation,

Dowshen) Dowhsen asserts the fact that

Bisexual people are humans just like everyone else and the same way that most people

accept rapists and abusers they should accept humans who just want to be free and able to live

among the normal. When someone comes out to their parents or friends, the response is always
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the same: “Oh, its just a phase”. It is not just a phase, it’s a way of finding your true self. If it’s

just a phase then some people have been stuck in this phase for too long. Some people think of it

as a phase because teenagers like to experiment so they believe that experimenting with other

genders is just a part of that experimentation. Teenagers go from thinking they are straight to

thinking they are attracted to a person of the same gender. “Gender is not the most important

characteristic on which my attractions are based.”(Bisexuality and Beyond, Israel). Gender

doesn’t define a person if it’s love.

If bisexuals aren’t accepted as a part of the LGBT community then they should have their

own little community where they can all feel loved. They are outcasts and they don't deserve a

place in the LGBTQ+ community. They should be together with their "own" people and have

their own community and own flag. “..​bisexuals are perceived to be less monogamous and

“greedy.” This argument presupposes that all bisexuals are disloyal mates and have incorrigible

sexual appetites.”(How society erases the bisexual, PantherNOW) They are called disloyal mates

because they secretly desire what their partner doesn’t or can’t offer them. It’s as if bisexuals

cannot be in a relationship without cheating on their partner. Being bisexual means being in

relationships with all genders so they receive love in different forms.

When I was small I knew I wasn’t as straight as my other family members. I would think

girls were pretty but not in the same way someone else thought a girl was pretty. I’ve always

wanted to experiment but in my family being a part of the LGBTQ community, meant I was

committing a sin so I never said or did anything. When I came out to my mom a year ago, it was
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a difficult time. I came out to my mom as a bisexual and my mom, being a religious and strict

Mexican mother, didn’t understand what it meant. She didn’t believe in same-sex couples or

anything related to the topic. She made me choose between liking either boys or girls. She made

it seem like I was going to die if I came out as a bisexual.

Unlike my mother, my friends supported me. I couldn't understand why she didn’t and up

until this day, I still don’t. Her words made me feel more confused than I originally was and I

felt isolated. I wanted to be able to like anyone but my mom kept trying to make me forget about

the idea of liking girls. I then started reading more and more about bisexuality and realized that

people think of bisexuals as a joke. Bisexuals shape their own identity because they are their own

person and they like both genders and they are proud of it. They will not affect the opinions of

others affect their personal decisions.


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Work Cited

Allen, Samantha. “Why Bisexuals Feel Ignored and Insulted at LGBT Pride.” ​The Daily

Beast,​ The Daily Beast Company, 23 June 2018,

www.thedailybeast.com/why-bisexuals-feel-ignored-and-insulted-at-lgbt-pride​. Accessed

on 23 October 2018.

“Bisexuality and beyond | Tania Israel | TEDxUCLA.” ​YouTube​, 7 July 2015,

youtu.be/APPb__tpGHk. Accessed on 23 October 2018.

“Sexual Orientation.” Edited by Steven Dowshen, ​KidsHealth,​ The Nemours Foundation,

May 2018, kidshealth.org/en/parents/sexual-orientation.html. Accessed on 23 October

2018.

“How Society Erases the Bisexual Identity.” ​PantherNOW,​ 11 Apr. 2015,

panthernow.com/2015/04/10/how-society-erases-the-bisexual-identity/. Accessed on 23

October 2018.

Rendall, Autumn. “Bisexuality: It's Just A Phase, Right?” ​Spectrum South - The Voice of the

Queer South,​ 17 July 2018, ​www.spectrumsouth.com/bisexuality-its-just-a-phase-right/​.

Accessed on 23 October 2018.

Tallon-Hicks, Yana. “I'm Bisexual and I Refuse to Leave the LGBT Community.” ​Mashable,​

Mashable, 14 Mar. 2016, mashable.com/2016/03/13/bisexual-invisibility/#.eQB2ktLQuqg.

Accessed on 23 October 2018.


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Outmagazine. “The 'B' in LGBT: Why Bisexual Awareness Week Matters.” ​OUT​, 25 Sept.

2018,

www.out.com/news-opinion/2016/9/20/b-lgbt-why-bisexual-awareness-week-matters​.

Accessed on 23 October 2018.

“They Were Born Identical Twin Boys, but One Always Felt He Was a Girl.” ​The

Washington Post​, WP Company,

www.washingtonpost.com/sf/national/2015/10/19/becoming-nicole/?noredirect=on&utm_

term=.acf180c9c2dc​. Accessed on 23 October 2018.