A Surge of Possibilities

Leave No Room for Regrets!

A Guide to a Fuller Life

By: Michelle Lee

Table of Contents

Dedication

Acknowledgements

Special tributes

Foreword

Introduction

Chapter 1: How to Reset Your Life

Chapter 2: How to Be Free from What’s Holding

You Back

Chapter 3: How to Discover Your Identity

Chapter 4: How to Discover Your Purpose

Chapter 5: How to Never Make Mistakes

Chapter 6: How to Leverage Your Fear

Chapter 7: How to Identify Your Secret Ingredient

of Success

Chapter 8: How to Achieve Your Success

Forward

What would it mean to you if you could have a

totally different life than you have right now? What
if you could do it in less than two years?

How would your physical and financial life change?

What about your spiritual side? What if your
relationships exceeded your expectations?

It’s nice to dream about that isn’t it?

As a student of many master teachers over the years

I have been blessed to learn the key difference
between dreams and delusions. It’s such a simple
thing - ACTION. Put another way, to attain what
you have dreamt about you simply need to – DO –
what everyone else is too scared to do!

Michelle Lee is a new breed of teacher. As a matter

of fact, she is kind of ‘Old School’. What I mean by
that is, she took the time to figure out what she
really wanted - then - she took the time to WORK
for it! She didn’t just sit on a mountaintop and wish
her new life into existence. Yes - she visualized.
Yes - she meditated. Yes - she had a strong desire.
Yes – she actually TOOK ACTION to make her
dreams a reality!
Dreams and desires with no action leads to delusion,
frustration and anxiety. Michelle gives us the
antidote to our stresses and the formula for success.
I am so proud of her for telling the truth about how
to really make it in this world.

She took 100% responsibility for her life and turned

her traumas into triumphs, her sorrows into stars and
her worries into wonderful experiences.

Michelle demonstrates exactly how to get out of a

rut and discover your purpose and one of my
favorite lessons from her is – how she is able to use
fear to fast-forward herself into a compelling future
instead of letting her dreams be held hostage by the
past.

I also appreciate her philosophy and insights on how

to view mistakes. She actually espouses the
philosophy that - When you look at everything as an
‘Experience’ - there are no mistakes. What a fresh
and invigorating way to live life!

I challenge you to live life in 3-D.

Using Michelle’s experiences and life lessons, here
is how to have a 3-D life: If you have a DREAM, if
you have the DESIRE and you are willing to DO -
the only thing left is to DECIDE and you are on
your way to the life you have always thought was
possible.
The road to success is possible and this amazing
book is your roadmap.

Happy reading!
Gerry Robert

Founder and Publisher

Black Card Books
Introduction

Have you ever wondered, ‘What am I doing here?

What’s my purpose? Where am I going with my
life?’ Two years ago, I was asking the same
questions.

I’d turned 40, had just finished a project

successfully and was sitting in my office thinking
‘what’s next?’ Somehow, this time I felt different. I
wasn’t questioning what to do next but I felt I
needed an answer to a bigger question: my existence
and my direction in life. I am a realist and have
never really been a philosophical person, but I was
looking for a clarity. I felt that if I knew my
purpose, I could get out of this rat race and speed up
my success. That is how my journey of self-
development started, and I have never looked back
since. That was two years ago.

Since then, my life has not been the same. I have

discovered who I am, my highest values and the
meaning of success. I have become a better version
of myself, and I know exactly what I want to
achieve in life.

Right now, it is 11:53 on a Monday morning in

Nice. I am writing my thoughts down to introduce
my book to you – the book with insights that I am
hoping will change your life too. I am looking out of
the window right now, seeing these beautiful villas
and the blue sky, and I am thinking, ‘How on earth
did I get to be here from a tiny little office in
Blacktown in Western Sydney?’

Coming from a dysfunctional migrant family,

having lived in government housing and been raised
by struggling single parent, I was determined to
have a better life. I have worked hard all my life but
found that life was not meant to be easy. I have
never struggled financially since I started working
and I have been able to support my mum, but living
my dream life with fulfilment seemed like an
impossible thing to achieve.

Now, I know it is not an impossible dream. If you

are aware of who you are and your purpose, you can
be the best version of yourself; you just need that
extra oomph to start making a change. I hope this
book will give you and your love ones just that.

I interviewed over one hundred human behavioural

experts and successful people from twenty-nine
different counties. From this, I was able to pinpoint
the methods that experts use to help their clients to
find clarity and direction in life. These interviews
with successful people (people doing what they love
and doing it well) meant I was able to collect
valuable life lessons and tools that help them
achieve their success. I have compiled this
information in this book together with the
knowledge and methods that have helped me change
my life.

I know changes don’t happen overnight. Even for

me it was a process of learning to think differently
and executing different actions. I read books and
participated in workshops ongoingly. For this
reason, I have put together workshops that will
guide you through each chapter of this book.

My hope is that you will begin to ask the questions

that I asked myself two years ago and seek the
answers. I know that once you discover these
answers, your life will never be the same again. I
simply cannot put a price on the value of knowing
who I am, my purpose and living a fulfilling life.
This one life you get I truly wish you give it a best
shot! So, give it a go and change your life for the
better. Good luck!
Chapter 1: How to Reset Your Life

To reset your life, you require the desire to reset.

When you are in your comfort zone, you might want
to do this, but you might not have enough desire to
do so. Sadly, when you have been in pain or in
discomfort for too long, these can become part of
your comfort zone as well. If you are facing an
intolerable reality that is forcing you to reset your life,
you are one of the luckiest people on earth. That is
because you cannot manufacture desire yourself. I do
not regard the ability to sustain a painful situation
highly at all. Persevering for a good cause is different
to sustaining the lifestyle that is slowly killing you.
In order to reset your life, the desire to have a better
life is an essential ingredient.

It has been said that there are two kinds of people

when it comes to making a change. There are people
who make a change to remove themselves from pain.
There are people who make a change in order to
accomplish their desire. In my experience, we have
them both. There were situations in which I felt
trapped and I could not see the way out. I needed an
intervention to get out of the situation. I couldn’t
endure the pain of staying in the job I was in and
living with my family who were suffocating me.
When the pain was too great, I started looking for
ways to remove myself from them. That is how I
initiated my reset. Around the same time, I was
learning new skills, hoping that one day I would
change my career. Now, I chase inspiration. I seek
new challenges. I no longer wait until the situation
gets too painful. I have learnt my lesson. Both
challenges and desires can help you to reset your life.

Start looking at challenges to discover benefits from

them. Discover the rewards that your difficulties
could bring. I know it is almost impossible to
consider this when you are in the midst of pain.
Therefore, it is important to surround yourself with
people who you can be encouraged by. Through
them, you will be able to see your situation from a
different perspective. Only then, will you be able to
see the whole picture, the meaning behind your
challenge. And when you do, you will gain that
power and understanding to reset your life.

I don’t believe there is a completely new type of

challenge in life. I believe similar experiences evolve
through generations. So instead of trying to figure out
how to reset your life on your own, learn from others
who have had similar experiences and achieved their
own success. They could be your mentors, your
coaches, colleagues, even your uncle. Whoever they
may be, learn from the people have that success you
want.

If you have had a traumatic experience such as war

and want to reset your life and achieve your success,
I would like to introduce you to George Zakhia, the
Director of Just Sports and the elected member of
Bankstown Council. He said, ‘Experiencing the war
in Lebanon and coming to Australia made me realise
that we are so lucky that we actually live in Australia.
My city was bombed for a hundred days non-stop.
And you’re only a little kid and so war experience is
the only experience you know. You have all the city
locked down and you’ve got bombs coming from
everywhere. So, what’s the use of having all that
money when you can’t even buy bread. Coming to
Australia, it wasn’t about money or wealth. It was
about freedom.’

When he found that freedom in Australia and started

working, he was a teenager. Now, he is able to use
his passion to contribute and make a difference to his
local community. I am not discounting the reality of
pain and death that war causes to millions of people.
But I am talking to people who are now in a position
to make a difference in their lives. You can reset your
life. You can take benefits from your challenges. You
can contribute to the lives of others.

I personally have experience of domestic violence, so

when Jacquie Ashely, a Mindset and Transformation
Coach, described how her experience with her
abusive father contributed to her success, I knew
exactly what she meant. She said, ‘I personally
believe that every experience and every person that
you meet in your life is done for you, not to you – even
if it is the abusing father, they are there to help you
learn. The experience you have can make a big
difference in your life and it can change your life.’
You cannot change what has happened to you, but
you have the choice to use your experience and create
the outcome you desire. Take the benefits from your
challenges to reset your life.

I am aware that the topic of bullying is a delicate one.

The damage it causes to an individual is life-
changing. But what if you could fight back by taking
the benefits from the experience and use that lesson
to reset your life? It is an unwanted challenge, like all
of us have one way or the other. But if you could learn
from your experience, what would you take from it?
Because when you take benefits from experiences,
you come out as a winner. This was the attitude of
Kerrie Phipps, the author of Do Talk to Strangers.
She said, ‘I think this has to be written delicately
because when people are going through stuff, they
can’t say that it’s good. Being bullied and being
assaulted was traumatic at the time but I’m grateful
now for the experience, for the lessons that I’ve taken
away from it and for the ability to say to people “your
best days are ahead of you”. Learning to forgive and
letting it go and finding that freedom is phenomenal.’
If you have been bullied, talking to strangers will be
the last thing you want to do. In fact, you could think
of so many reasons why you shouldn’t talk to
strangers. However, the ability to see benefits from
your challenging experience, the ability to encourage
others to speak to strangers, for me, that is an
incredible and victorious story you could pass on
generation to generation.

When you have identified the benefits from your

pain, it is time for you to set a goal. What do you
want for your life? What is your goal in life? What
are you aiming for? Out of the people I interviewed,
there was no one without a goal. These included
starting a business, being financially independent,
finding a spiritual awakening, achieving a state of
happiness, keeping a work–life balance, having a
family, building a legacy, becoming a better person,
having a meaningful life… the list just went on and
on. There is no right answer. You just need your
version of a goal.

Once you know your goal, you need to define your

starting point. That way, you can map out your
journey and find out what you need to do to get there.
I received coaching to evaluate where I was. I literally
couldn’t believe how it was possible for me to have a
lifestyle I hated, doing a job I was so unhappy with
and eating food that was bad for me. Looking back, I
can only laugh when looking at my situation because
it seemed so unreal, so bizarre that anyone would do
that to themselves. I was the one who chose the place
I worked. I was the one who chose the place I lived.
I was the one who paid for that fast-food I was eating.
I was destroying myself while dreaming of a better
life.

Two years on, I am sitting in an apartment in Nice,

having taken three months off to finish this book. My
assistant is here with me. Last week, I went to Monte
Carlo, Cannes and Saint Tropez. I walk along the
Promenade des Anglais every morning thinking how
grateful I am. When I look back, it is hard to believe
that it only took two years for me to get to where I
am. If you evaluate your current position and know
where your goalpost is, all you have to do is to kick
that ball of action until you hit the goal. It is only a
matter of time.

When I evaluated my life, the crucial point I had to

accept was the fact that it was my responsibility to
live a happier life. No one else could live my life for
me. It was not the fault of my family who couldn’t
support me; it was not the fault of my friends who
were too busy, and it was not the fault of my job that
didn’t pay me well. As an adult, living in a country
that allowed free will, I had a choice. My life was my
responsibility. It breaks my heart to hear people say,
‘I hate my job, but I can’t be bothered to change it’,
‘I know the fast-food is bad for me, but it is
convenient’ or ‘I know I need to do more exercise but
don’t want to walk up the stairs’, because I know that
you can. You can look for another job, you can
choose healthier food, and you can walk up the stairs.
You can.

Don’t wait for a miracle. Don’t wait for someone to

come and rescue you. Don’t wait. Do something that
you can do today. Resetting your life doesn’t happen
when you wait. It happens when you make different
choices and execute different actions. People say the
definition of insanity is doing the same thing but
expecting a different result. I honestly think there is
truth to that. It was only when I chose to live life
differently, not think life differently, I was able to live
a different life. I was making intentional choices
towards my goal so that I could live the type of
lifestyle I wanted.

Start taking small steps towards your new life. When

you do it, it gets done. So just try it and give yourself
permission to make mistakes as well. Don’t be too
hard on yourself but do just try it. Give it a go. For
example, try to get off a stop earlier and walk to your
workplace, try sleeping on the left side if you have
been sleeping on the right side of the bed. Try waking
up at 6:30 in the morning if you have been waking up
at 7 o’clock. Start introducing small changes to your
lifestyle. In doing so, you are training your brain to
get used to change. Then eventually you will be out
of your comfort zone. In the future, a bigger change
will not seem like such a big deal anymore.
Get used to change as it is the normal process of
life. The truth is, your body hasn’t stayed the same
since birth; it has changed. Your education didn’t
stay the same; you were elevated each year. The
place where you live has changed over the years. It
is natural to seek change and experience change. It
is against nature to stay the same. Resetting your life
is no different.

To reset your life, start answering the questions

below. It will help you to evaluate your life and
discover your goal.

1. On a scale of 1 (the least) to 10 (the most),

how happy are you with your current life?
2. On a scale of 1 (the least) to 10 (the most),
how ready are you to reset your life?
3. Why do you think that reset hasn’t happened
in your life yet?
4. What challenges in life have benefitted you?
5. How are you going to live your life
differently?
6. Visualise your new life; what do you see?

__________________________________________
If you can remember one thing from this chapter,
please remember this:
To reset your life, evaluate where you are and know
where you are going.
Chapter 2: How to Be Free from What’s Holding
You Back

I love blessings, don’t you? Have you ever

experienced a blessing that became an obstacle in
moving forward, though? I am talking about
blessings that make you to remain in your comfort
zone. What is holding you back might not necessarily
come from difficulties and challenges. To be free
from what is holding you back, you first need to
acknowledge the source of your obstacles. They
come from both pain and pleasures in life.

It may sound strange, but the very job that you enjoy
may interfere in achieving your goal. Lewis Arnold,
an independent director for ITV and Channel 4
programmes in London, said, ‘When I finished
university, I went back to Birmingham and I worked
in this small company where we made, like, 500
pounds for the whole month. We really loved the
people we worked with and we had a really great vibe
but sometimes too much of a good thing is not good
and I needed a push, a kick to move on. Sometimes
you get comfortable and I think you should be
constantly asking and challenging yourself because
comfort can be a killer.’ Ask yourself this question:
Is the job you are currently doing serving the goal you
have or is it helping you to maintain the life you
have? I believe your job should do both.
From time to time, that very thing that you are born
with, blessed with, can become a bump in moving
forward. In this instance, for me, I am talking about
being a woman. I love being a woman. I love the way
we can make an impact in the world with our version
of feminine and masculine energy. When I asked the
question, ‘What’s your goal in life?’ to Dr. Morgaine
Gaye, she said, ‘World domination!’ Then we
cracked up laughing! But honestly, I love the female
way of making a difference in the world.

Life comes with unwanted challenges that requires

your confidence. At times, you need to stand up for
yourself and be proud of who you are and don’t let
the world treat you like a second tier simply because
of your gender. Don’t let your gender hold you back
from what you want to achieve. For example,
Neurosurgeon Dr. Anna Lo Presti said, ‘Being a
woman is a huge problem for neurosurgeons. There
is a lot of gender-equality issues within this field.
Even patients don’t trust you as much as they trust
male surgeons. They think the nurse is here, but I
say, “No, I am not a nurse, I am a surgeon.” So, I
learnt how to tell patients “I’m Dr. Lopresti. You
have to respect me for that and you have to respect
me as much as you respect the male doctor”.’ Go
girl! That’s my type of a super woman! Respect
yourself. I believe that is the first step to standing up
for yourself. Then guide others see beyond your
gender. Let them see who you are and the value you
bring.

I love this country. Every time I return from

travelling, my gratefulness increases. I think
migrating to Australia was the best decision my
parents made and I am ever so grateful for that. But
living here came with its own unique challenges. This
was the first and only time I experience
discrimination. I was waiting for a school bus to head
back home. A Caucasian Australian girl from my
school walked towards me, looked angry and said,
‘Go back to your own country!’ I didn’t know how to
respond to that. I wasn’t confident with my English
but this anger overtook my fear of English. What
came out of my mouth, in my broken English, was,
‘Why don’t you go back to your country! At least my
parents paid a lot of money to come to Australia,
unlike your ancestors!’ My heart was pounding hard
and I was scared, but unfortunately, I didn’t have
control over my mouth. I was scared of what was
going to happen next. Obviously, she became very
furious and started swearing a lot. Other students
were there staring at us, frozen. Then the bus arrived.
I was continued to be blessed with her F-words until
I got off the bus. I just sat there quietly. Someone
reported that incident to school and the next day, she
was suspended for a week. My English teacher asked
me if I was okay. I said, ‘everything is fine, I feel
fine.’ If that happened to me now, I wouldn’t react
the way I did but would deal with the matter formally
later on. The point is, do not let another’s ignorance
break your spirit. Protect your heart because you have
the right to be who you are and become the person
you could be. Sometimes, that will require standing
up for yourself. Sometimes the way forward in life is
to fight back with dignity.

It is hard to believe that even your successful

business can become a hindrance to your continued
success. But it’s true, according to Masami Sato, the
Founder of B1G1, the Global Giving Initiative. She
said, ‘In the first few years of B1G1, we were
struggling. We were losing so much money every
month because we had so many dreams and
aspirations but we just didn’t have the money
coming in. Then we hit the breakeven point. More
businesses were wanting to join and gradually we
didn’t have to worry about surviving. Now we
became comfortable and maybe not as daring as we
could have been. So sometimes being comfortable
could be the greatest obstacle in life. Just
recognising it and being willing to push to the next
uncomfortable zone is sometimes required.’ Would
you make yourself uncomfortable while you can be
comfortable? But if it is the way to maintain your
success, then so be it. If you want to take a break,
have a holiday. When it comes to work, be
uncomfortable and challenge yourself. As people
say: ‘be comfortable being uncomfortable’.
For those who were raised by a single parent or
lived in a dysfunctional family like me, dreaming of
having a loving family and a safe home can be all
we desire, so it is hard to believe that growing up in
such a family can be handicap. However, this was
true for Rafal Mazur, a High-Performance Training
Coach. He said, ‘I have very loving parents, they
should have been a little bit tougher on me. I would
say they were too good to me. And too much love is
sometimes an obstacle. They gave me everything
they could and I didn’t need to fight for anything.
However, this created a loss of ambition and drive.
On the subconscious level, I believed that safety net
made me think “even if I screw up, everything’s
going to be okay because they will always take care
of me”. Their intentions were great. I am grateful,
but I realised I needed to do things on my own
because I needed to respect myself. I was 30 years
old when I realised it.’ Do not let your beautiful
family to stop you from being the person you could
be. To respect yourself, you may need to disconnect
yourself from your support and be tough on
yourself.

Can you believe even having free will can bring you
hardship? Yes, it can, if you don’t put down
boundaries and discipline for your growth. That is
exactly what Dr. Morgaine Gaye, the Food
Futurologist, had to do when she realised that very
blessing was enabling her to stay average and was
blocking her from meeting her own expectations.
She said, ‘I think free will, having a lot of choice. I
had no guidelines, no boundaries and when things
got difficult, I would leave it and go to the next
thing. The blessing of freedom hindered me from
growing because I didn’t develop for a long time. I
kept getting to the same level, leaving and starting
again. When something got difficult, I did not have
structure to push through.’ Free will without
boundaries and discipline could get you nowhere
because you have the free will to put in no effort.

How about having a steady income; isn’t that a

blessing? What if you are too afraid to leave your
position to explore your full potential. Is that still a
blessing? Paula Vargas, a Financial Adviser, said,
‘My point of view of blessings are that we should
always be thankful for them. But I think in my case,
having a steady income was a blessing but also a
huge obstacle to overcome. There was a moment in
my life where I was terrified of losing my job and it
was so hard to see my full potential outside of a
company’s payroll. I had to take a leap of faith and
this was probably one of the best decisions that I
made in my life because it made me realise how
good I was in doing other things.’ Sometimes you
need to decide what is more important to you: your
steady income or exploring who you could be.
By now, you probably have guessed my view on
blessings. For me, blessings are blessings if they
help you move forward, but if they don’t then they
are a stumbling block. To overcome your stumbling
block, you may have to structure your lifestyle,
disconnect yourself from your family support, leave
your job, be more daring in your business or stand
up with dignity against discrimination. So, consider
your blessings by their outcome. What is holding
you back is not helping you to move forward.

Through interviews, I learnt that successful people

cautiously embrace blessings and take control of
their lives. They make adjustments to newly
received blessings to make further improvements on
themselves to achieve goals. They don’t let
blessings ruin their lives. For example, Michael
Rosenbaum, the Founder and CEO of Spacer, said,
‘When I started out, I didn’t have a family so I had a
lot of time and no responsibility really. It was a lot
easier to have a go. Now that I have a young family,
which is a blessing, it’s managing that time, energy
and getting a work–life balance. In some ways, it
makes you more focused and you get more done.’
So, adjust yourself to a new blessing and enjoy the
ride!

How about you? What is holding you back? Is it your

blessings or is it your challenges? Think about both
the pain and the pleasures that are holding you back.
What is important is to recognise both of them.
Answer the questions below and evaluate what is
holding you back.
1. What challenges are holding you back from
moving forward in life?
2. What blessings are holding you back from
moving forward in life?
3. Why are they holding you back?

When you know your answers to the above

questions, it is time to put your strategy together.
How are you going to move forward from your
comfort zone? How are you going to approach your
new life? Answer the questions below and put your
strategy together.
1. How are you going to remove yourself from
your comfort zone?
2. How are you going to approach your
obstacles and blessings differently?
3. What results do you see if you were to apply
the new approach to your life?

Evaluate what is holding you back. Then apply the

strategy defined from the questions above to
overcome your stumbling block. When you put
together your strategy, make sure you ask mentors or
others so you can apply their success strategy.
__________________________________________
If you can remember one thing from this chapter,
please remember this:
What’s holding you back comes from both pain and
blessings in life.
Therefore, evaluate them both.
Chapter 3: How to Discover Your Identity

For the first time in my life, I experienced an

epiphany of my identity. It happened between the
period of trial and my first coaching sessions while I
was doing the coaching homework. I was looking
through my love list to see if I could find anything
missing. Then this phrase jumped out and opened up
my understanding of why I loved what I loved. The
phrase started to connect everything that I loved and
it all started to make sense. In a flash, I understood
why I loved to help, why I loved to upcycle, why I
chose design over art and much more. As is seen in
the movies, moments of my life slid through my mind
and for the first time I understood myself! The phrase
was ‘Maximising Potential’.

I had decided to get a coach because at the time, I was

pushed into a corner where I couldn’t figure out what
to do with my life and was frustrated. Previously, I
have tried things that I was interested in, but that
interest didn’t last long. I wanted to pursue a career
that I enjoyed but also wanted to feel a sense of
purpose. I wanted to feel that I am here for a reason.
I definitely couldn’t ask my mum for help because
she looked for that even more than me. I couldn’t ask
my brother as I felt more comfortable giving him
help. I couldn’t ask my friends as they were just as
lost as me. So, it was time to get an expert’s help.
I was contemplating whether or not I should sign
up for a coaching session. One afternoon, I felt a
strong voice from deep within my heart saying,
‘Do it only if you are going to do exactly what your
coach asks you to do, otherwise it will be a total
waste of money, so don’t bother!’ I freaked out
hearing my internal voice and thought, Wow! What
was that? Who was that? Bl@#$y hell! I sat on my
bed and thought about what it had said. Although
it was a shock to hear myself like that, I knew that
what my heart was telling me was true. I had to
decide either to go all the way or just not bother. It
took me a few more days to get my act together but
I finally made my decision. I was ready to be
vulnerable and take on the challenge. According to
behavioural experts and coaches, the types of
clients who make the most progress are people
who are willing to change, people who actually
want change, people who are prepared to be
vulnerable and people who are introspective. I
think my inner voice definitely prepared me to
become the right type of client for coaching.

I engaged in a coaching session to find a direction in

life, but what I really needed was to discover my
identity in order to have clarity about my direction.
During the initial consultation, my coach asked me,
‘What do you want Michelle; what do you want in
life?’ But I couldn’t give a straight answer because I
wasn’t sure. I replied, ‘I don’t know what I want, I am
not sure what to do with my life.’ Then the elephant
in the room came out of my mouth: ‘I am not sure
who I am…’ and I burst into tears. At that, we both
knew what we needed to start with. She had to help
me with discovering my identity.

When I started to get results from coaching, my

friends wanted a recommendation from me. I
recommended a coach, but she didn’t get the same
level of results that I did. I wasn’t sure why.
According to Maggie Wilde, the Potentialist, it
takes three to six months to get results, and if you
don’t see any after that time, you should look for a
new coach. She said, ‘If I’m not helping the client,
if the client isn’t making progress within three to
six months in the direction they want, I actually
look at the fact that maybe I am the wrong coach
for them. Even if a client brings up their staff, if the
coach isn’t trained to help them move their staff,
then the coach needs to bring in an expert who can
help. Otherwise, the client is just reinforcing their
old wiring. The way the brain operates is that it
focuses on the frustration: “Why can’t I shift this?
My coach is telling me that I should be doing this,
I am still not doing it!” So, all this blame and guilt
starts to happen in the brain. That’s just feeding
the old wiring.’

How do you know which coach is right for you?

Neville Stone, a Life Coach, says, ‘Many people
make the mistake of selecting a coach based on
whether they like them or not. Liking a coach is
hiring a friend. “Will you feel comfortable?” is
one question. “Do you want to get results?” is the
question a coach should be asking, or “What sort
of results are you after?” So, the first question
should be “What is it that you are looking for?”’
A coach is not someone you feel comfortable with;
a coach has to be the person who can bring you
results.

On that day, I had been given homework to do. The

homework was to write what I love and what I hate
until I couldn’t think of any more to write. The
epiphany happened at the end of the second week.
During those two weeks, I had been writing on the
train, on the bus, at lunchtime, before I went to bed,
after dinner. Basically, I was writing whenever I
could think of what I love and hate.

When I found that phrase ‘Maximising Potential’, it

truly resonated with me, and I didn’t want to let go. I
didn’t want to forget who I am. Then I thought about
Clark Kent, Selina Kyle, Lois Lane and Peter Parker,
how the names of superheroes and heroines don’t
resonate with who they are, just like my name –
Michelle Lee. No one knows who you are by your
given names, but when you hear their ‘identity
names’, such as Superman, Catwoman, Superwoman
and Spiderman, you immediately recognise their
characteristics and strength. I realised that that is
what I needed. I wanted that superheroine name, my
own identity name. From that moment on, I became
Potential Maximiser – and it felt right!

When writing my hate list, I recognised my helper,

my challenger of life. She had existed since I was
born. She was the source of struggles, the quiet voice
that encouraged me to seek my comfort zone. She
enabled me to feel stuck, depressed and miserable at
times. She magnified problems and allowed me to
focus on what I couldn’t do rather than what I could
do. I recognised my evil self, the culprit, the villain,
The Joker of my life. However, she had a purpose.
Without her, I wouldn’t have had reasons to fight for
what I believed or what I wanted. Because of her, I
had become stronger and better. The more battles I
had with her, I got stronger and I could see she was
getting weaker. I thought she deserves a name. After
all, she exits to make me who I am. So, let me
introduce you to my straightener, Miss Minimiser.

After having discovered my identity, I wanted to do

something for myself and for others to maximise
potential. I didn’t know how or what to do in the
beginning, but as opportunities opened up, I knew
exactly what choices to make. I only took
opportunities that led me in the direction I wanted to
go. Making the right decision became easier as I
knew which direction I was heading. I felt my goals
were more achievable and they no longer seemed to
be a fantasy. I was invited to a book-writing seminar,
and I thought, This is it! Instead of writing a book
after my retirement, as I’d always thought, I am going
to write a book to help people to maximise their
potential. So, I went along and learnt how to write a
book. And here you are reading my book!

Now, I don’t put my identity on a label anymore. As

my Life Coach, Cathy Feenan, said, ‘A lot of people
hang their identity on a label. I remember going into
the corporate arena and working in this
environment, and my title actually became my
identity. When I left the corporate industry and I
became a mum at home, I lost that identity because I
had my identity on a label. I was asking myself that
question too: “who am I?” So, the strategies that I
use – and a great step to start with – is going back
to that truth. Finding out your gifts, your strengths
and your characteristics that you have used in the
past that helped you achieve things in your life. That
is a beautiful indicator to really find out who you
are.’ Being the Senior Managing Partner, a
consultant and a daughter stay on the surface of who
I am. It helps others to understand what I do and
what I am about but that doesn’t define who I am.
No matter what stages I go through in my life, I will
always be who I am. Answers to what I love and
hate were all inside of me. I was the only person
who could answer them. I just needed an expert’s
help to discover them.

If you want to discover your identity and you haven’t

got a coach, try answering the below questions. These
are questions I have compiled for you from the
interviews with coaches and human behavioural
experts. Of course, the two most important questions
are what do you love? and what do you hate? If you
want to dig deeper into the self-discovery journey, try
answering other questions as well.

I love the quote by Maya Angelou, ‘Do the best you

can until you know better. Then when you know
better, do better.’ Now you know the secret of
discovering your identity, please give it go. I would
love to know your identity name and the story of your
self-discovery journey. Please feel free to send me an
email to
michelle.lee@asurgeofpossibilitiesbook.com

1. What do you love?

2. What do you hate?
3. Why do you love what you love?
4. Why do you hate what you hate?
5. What’s important to you?
6. How do you spend your time?
7. What are your interests?
8. What are your strengths?
 9. What do you do that you do not want to do?
10. What have you been doing that you love to
do?
11. What do you enjoy doing?
12. What do you like?
13. What do you want?
14. What is it that moves you from A to B?
15. Where you are now and where do you want
to be?
16. Why are you doing that particular job?

_________________________________________
If you can remember one thing from this chapter,
please remember this:
You can discover yourself in what you love.