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Shower

!
JUNE 2018

RY OF
THE UNTOLD STO

SEX
Oops-Proof
Positions
-
Leigh
How a Small-Town
Girl Went Global
to Try Now

6 Steps Gen Z
to a Debt- Beauty
Free You
‘ I Pa i d O f f
R95 000Y e a r s’
in Three

F The Future Is
e
Cosmopolitan.co.za
JUNE 2018
11 Apps to Make
You a #GirlBoss Meet Our
Presenting: Huawei
Huawei Vodacom
P20 Pro Cover Star

WTF
Is AI Photography?
Tech That
Will Blow
Your Mind

M a s t e r t h e A r t
o f t h e Se l f i e
African
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Rewriting the
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ADVERTORIAL

BTS
The in-studio sesh with
r Huawei
Cover Star

Eleanne Maake
The #HuaweiCoverStar competition kicked of on 6 April – and things
got hot real fast. The top 10 candidates were selected, and votes rolled
in from all over South Africa. Up for grabs was a Huawei P20 Pro phone,
the opportunity to appear in COSMO, and other cool prizes. In the end,
it was Eleanne Maake whose selfie made the Huawei headlines.
And then there were lights, cameras, action – and the photoshoot.
Here’s what our cover star had to say about being inspired and
wanting to make a diference.
What gets you up
in the morning?
My mom, my little sister, my
grandmother, and other friends
and family who look up to me.
Every day, I hope to be an inspiration
to other young people. They challenge
me to love, to give, to forgive – to be me.

What are you


passionate about?
I’m passionate about spreading
a message of love, unity and faith.
Like President Cyril Ramaphosa
said in his speech, ‘Thuma Mina’
(‘send me’). I also want to be sent.
I want to get involved with organisations
that help orphans, disadvantaged
children, victims of abuse, and those
living with HIV and Aids.

What’s your dream


holiday destination?
Mauritius! I would love to experience
the majestic jewel of the Indian Ocean,
its culture and its natural wonders.

Social media:
P H OTO G R A P H Y VA L E N T I N A N I C O L ST Y L I N G C A R O L I N E O L AVA R R I E TA / L A M P O ST

good or bad?
H A I R S A A D I Q U E R Y K L I E F/ L A M P O S T M A K E U P L E S L E Y W H I T B Y/ L A M P O S T

Good. It’s how I stay connected


with the rest of the world, and
how I discover new things.

What’s your life mantra?


Be grateful. ■

Want to know more? Visit Huawei.com/za or connect on social media: HuaweimobileZA HuaweiZA huaweiza
it
June
38 Cover Stories

24 The Next
Demi-Leigh’s Generation
Rule Book of Beauty
for Life 48 Meet COSMO’s
19 Under 19
54 #TamponTax
MustFall
102 Shower Sex
That Doesn’t
End in the ER
116 ‘I Was R95 000
in Debt. Here’s
How I Paid It Of
in Three Years’

Inside

8 From the Editor


11 COSMO Guy

P H O T O G R A P H Y N I Q U I TA B E N TO P R I C E S C O R R E C T AT T I M E O F G O I N G T O P R E S S S TO C K I S T S O N PA G E 1 1 9
12 Best Month Ever
14 Confessions
15 COSMO Shop
16 The Quickie
17 #RealTalk
19 Beauty
29 Style
38 Features
85 Body
99 Love
109 Work
119 Stockists
Cover Info
121 Life
Photography Niquita Bento Fashion Cleo Marcopoulos Hair Elin Nyberg 127 Horoscopes
Makeup Meg Kashimura Fashion interns Nicolle Nyariri and Nia Edwards
Re-create her look with Smashbox cosmetics 128 Quiz
Her face Photo Finish Foundation Primer (R475) and Studio Skin Shaping
Foundation Stick (R535) 2.4 with Spotlight Palette (R555) Gold Her eyes Win!
Brow Tech Matte Pencil (R345) Brunette, Photo Finish Lid Primer (R295)
Light and Photo Edit Eye Shadow Trio (R385 each) It’s Fire and Nudie Pic
(Deep) with Photo Finish Lash Primer (R305) and Super Fan Mascara 108 One of two
(R345) Black Her lips Always On Liquid Lipstick (R335 each) In Demand ASUS laptops
and Rust Fund Her jumpsuit and earrings Forever New

Jumpsuit R1 499, biker jacket


R1 299, coat R1 499, earrings R149
and shoes R799, FOREVER NEW
EDITOR’S LETTER

Period
Positive hree years ago, Kiran Gandhi made

60
headlines when she free-bled through
her first marathon. The then-26-year-
old drummer for M.I.A and Harvard
Business School graduate allowed her period to
flow as she ran the London Marathon to raise
awareness for women who don’t have access to
sanitary products. For Kiran, it was also about
addressing the stigma around menstruation.
‘Culture is happy to speak about and objectify the Seconds with
parts of the body that can be sexually consumed by
others,’ she said. ‘But the moment we talk about
something that’s not for the enjoyment of others,
Demi-Leigh
We flew to New York for our
like a period, everyone becomes uncomfortable.’
world-exclusive cover shoot
Layers of secrecy and taboo have been applied
with gender-based-violence
to periods for centuries. Women have been hidden
activist, model and reigning Miss
away in poorly ventilated huts, disallowed from Universe Demi-Leigh Nel-Peters
taking part in religious ceremonies, and told their
blood is impure and cursed. Now women are My skincare regimen:
fighting back, rallying a global movement that seeks to lift the culture of embarrassment I drink a lot of water. I always wash
and asks for period rights to be seen as human rights. Women are using periods to fight my face before I go to bed, and try
not to wear makeup on of days.
for gender equality, and to ensure their voices will be heard.
I go for a facial once a month. I also
Where society leads, business often follows. Sanitary brands have begun to break with use a single line of products from
advertising industry convention by using actual blood (instead of that weird blue liquid) in a single brand – face wash, toner
their commercials. Adverts have (oddly) skirted around what they’re actually designed for. and moisturiser.
Some still do. But much-needed education forums such as Libresse’s Vagina Varsity with My go-to item in my closet:
local YouTubers Pap Culture have helped open a dialogue around ‘that time of the month’. My black leather jacket.
Much work still needs to be done to address the injustice that surrounds periods – like My workout plan:
I train five times a week – mostly
the fact that tampons and pads are taxed as ‘luxury, nonessential items’ when products the
body-weight training. The rest of
government considers a basic necessity, such as milk, are not. It seems illogical and sexist that the time I do cardio, like running.
women are forced to pay VAT to look after their menstrual hygiene. Why are we being taxed My day on a plate:
for sanitary care that is a basic biological necessity? Not only has the recent VAT increase For breakfast I have cofee, green
made these products even more expensive, it’s also highlighted the thousands of girls who tea and scrambled eggs with cold

P H O T O G R A P H Y N I Q U I TA B E N TO I L L U S T R AT I O N M A R I N A E S M E R A L D O
can’t afford them and are forced to compromise their health, dignity and school attendance. beef on the side – and full-cream
If we can afford to give boys free condoms, why can’t we afford to give girls free tampons? Greek yoghurt. Snacks are nuts
or dried fruit, and a protein bar or
On page 54 we investigate the period plight further, and encourage you to sign our petition shake. Lunch is a chicken salad; for
to end tampon tax in South Africa. As 28 May marks Menstrual Hygiene Day, we ask you dinner I love soup or a good fillet.
to join the menstrual activists, to make My favourite cheat food:
educated choices to have your period your I have a sweet tooth. Chocolate
way (page 85), and to fight for your rights or ice cream!
as a woman and demand a fair, non-sexist, My best New York hangout:
The Plaza Food Hall.
untaxed, period-positive world. Period.
My favourite movie:
Avatar. I love sci-fi.
Book I’m reading RN:
I’m busy with a Shonda Rhimes
novel. My next book will be
#Girlboss by Sophia Amoruso.
On my playlist:
The entire new Taylor Swift album.
Holly Meadows
Editor
ASSOCIATED
MEDIA
EDITOR PUBLISHING
Holly Meadows
CHAIRMAN
holly@assocmedia.co.za Jane Raphaely
CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER
Julia Raphaely
EDITORIAL/ONLINE HEAD OF ADVERTISING AND
CREATIVE SOLUTIONS
DEPUTY EDITOR This month, we’re loving Leigh Kinross
Sarah Browning-de Villiers
sarah@assocmedia.co.za
a hint of pink. GROUP BRAND DIRECTOR
Emilie Gambade
MANAGING EDITOR Because a classic gin julep is even HEAD OF DIGITAL AND MARKETING
Elrike Lochner
Margot van Zyl better with grapefruit, babes! CREATIVE DIRECTOR Kassie Naidoo
CREATIVE DIRECTOR DIGITAL TRAFFIC MANAGER
Nasheeta Khan
Juan Geel DIGITAL COMMUNICATIONS MANAGER
juan@assocmedia.co.za Blue Masoka
ART DIRECTOR DIGITAL MEDIA AND DATA STRATEGIST
Shirley Padi Marilize Nel
DIGITAL ASSISTANT Simone Smit
CHIEF COPY EDITOR HEAD OF CREATIVE STUDIO
Ania Rokita Taylor Kat de Sarigny
CREATIVE STUDIO PRODUCER/
ONLINE EDITOR ART BUYER Cindy Comer
Koketso Masuluke SPECIAL PROJECTS MANAGER
Nicole Williamson
CONTENT PRODUCERS INTEGRATED PROJECTS MANAGER
Lisa Katz, Busang Senne Dee Berry
SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGER CAMPAIGN MANAGER
Ashleigh Engel Kareesha Naidoo
MARKETING COORDINATOR
EDITORIAL INTERN Claudell van Eeden
Mandy Mbekeni MARKETING ASSISTANT
Potego Mminele
MULTIMEDIA INTERN DIGITAL MARKETING INTERN
Haybree Potgieter Nazeema Dramat
FASHION DIRECTOR CREATIVE STUDIO HEAD OF COPY
Jaime Waddington
Bev Nates CREATIVE STUDIO COPYWRITER
bev@assocmedia.co.za Celeste Jacobs
CREATIVE STUDIO ART DIRECTORS
FASHION EDITOR
Cleo Marcopoulos
Grapefruit Victoria Meder, Janine Nel

FASHION ASSISTANT
Julep CREATIVE STUDIO SENIOR DESIGNER
Jessica Cohen
Clare Robertson Pour 50ml of Tanqueray Nº TEN Gin CREATIVE STUDIO DESIGNERS
into a tall glass. Stacey Knipe, Nadine Williams
FASHION INTERN CREATIVE STUDIO PROOFREADER
Lesego Mtsolongo Squeeze and drop in a wedge of fresh Kelly-May Macdonald
pink grapefruit and a few fresh mint PRINT SUPPORT Jorika Moore
BEAUTY DIRECTOR DIGITAL SUPPORT Taryn Ballentine
Juana Parathyras leaves. Add 20ml of home-made sugar GROUP VIDEOGRAPHER/
juana@assocmedia.co.za syrup and stir well. PHOTO EDITOR Valentina Nicol
Half-fill the glass with crushed ice PRODUCTION MANAGER
JUNIOR BEAUTY EDITOR Paul Livingstone
Aphiwe Khambule and stir until it melts slightly. PRODUCTION ASSISTANT
BEAUTY WRITER Top up with crushed ice, and place Shaakira Ajam
REPRO MANAGER André Reinders
Helen Wallace a sprig of fresh mint on top DTP RETOUCHER Michelle Saunders
BEAUTY INTERN for aroma. HEAD OF DISTRIBUTION/SUPPLY
PHOTOGRAPHY DIRK PIETERS ST YLING MAYA MILLER

Kim Mockey CHAIN Marcus Newkirk


HEAD OF HUMAN RESOURCES
Silke Rathbone
COMMERCIAL HEARST MAGAZINES INTERNATIONAL HUMAN RESOURCES OFFICER
Senior vice president/Managing director Asia Pacific and Russia Simon Horne Director Natasha Marillier
KEY ACCOUNT MANAGERS of international licensing and business development Richard Bean Senior vice president/ HUMAN RESOURCES INTERN
Alyson Brown Editorial and brand director Kim St Clair Bodden Deputy brand director Chloe O’Brien Kirsten Marshall
Fashion/Entertainment director Kristen Ingersoll International editions editor Jacquelyn FINANCIAL MANAGER
alyson@assocmedia.co.za, Galgey Editor-in-chief, COSMOPOLITAN (1965-1997) Helen Gurley Brown
Carmen Clegg Bianca de Jongh
Editors of international editions Argentina. Australia: Keshnee Kemp. Brazil: Cristina Naumovs. SENIOR ACCOUNTANT
carmen@assocmedia.co.za Marcellé Finnucane
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SPECIAL PROJECTS Finland: Stina Mantyniemi. France: Marie la Fonta. Germany: Anja Delastik. Hong Kong: Ruqiyah ACCOUNTANTS Angelene Facolyn,
KEY ACCOUNT MANAGER Law Kam Ying. Hungary: Johanna Sabján. India: Nandini Bhalla. Indonesia: Filisya Thunggawan. Lee-Ancher Strauss
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LEAD ADVERTISING CONTROLLER Pavlin. Spain: Cecilia Múzquiz Herrero. Sri Lanka: Kinita Shenoy. Turkey: Ozlem Kotan. UK:
OFFICER’S PA Janine Duncan
Shantel Peskin Farrah Storr. Ukraine: Oleksandra Burynska. US: Michele Promaulayko. CLERICAL ASSISTANT/DRIVER
Trevor Goodall
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Cosmopolitan.co.za OFFICE ASSISTANT Felicia Burt

HEAD OFFICE (CAPE TOWN) Associated Media Publishing, Ninth Floor, 80 Strand Street, Cape Town 8001.
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IF YOU CANNOT FIND COSMOPOLITAN AT YOUR LOCAL STORE, E-MAIL POTEGO@ASSOCMEDIA.CO.ZA.


The proprietor and publisher of COSMOPOLITAN is Associated Hearst, Ninth Floor, 80 Strand Street, Cape Town 8001 Reproduction: Associated Media Repro
Nick Jonas
When he’s not stealing scenes
in big-screen flicks like Jumanji:
Welcome To The Jungle or
working on the follow-up
album to Last Year Was
Complicated, he’s busy
being a total smoke-show

Family
Matters
‘Growing up, I was Learning
the one my brothers Curve
turned to to talk ‘If I could go back
about relationships, [to before I lost my
even though I was virginity], I would
younger. When it probably tell myself
came to sex, I think that it’s important
I asked them for to have patience.
advice. Kevin was You’re not going
the romantic in the to be a professional!
family, and I’d go You’re not going to
to Joe for working be great the first
on my game.’ couple of times.
Don’t become
Clear Signals frustrated with
‘I’ve been single yourself. You’ll
for two and a half get better at sex.’
years now – and not
for lack of trying to Private
find a person I really Thoughts
connect with. When ‘Everyone I’ve dated
P H OTO G R A P H Y R OWA N DA LY CO M P I L E D BY R AC H E L M O S E LY

someone makes it would probably


clear that they’re agree that I’m a
interested and they little in my head.
want to meet up They couldn’t read
to have dinner or a me as easily as they
drink, I think that’s could other people.
really attractive.’ But that’s just who
I am. I don’t like to
reveal all my cards
– and I think that’s
actually given me
some strength.
I don’t let emotions
drive everything.’ γ

C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

11
June

3
Be Wowed
If Shakespeare doesn’t
interest you, maybe this
will change your mind: Othello,
set in a modern-day female prison,
with an all-female cast. Yes, please!
On from 20 to 23 June at Cape
Town’s Galloway Theatre.

SCAN VIA

1
Create Your
Own Future
Learn how to take
control of your life and
challenge negative
thoughts and beliefs
at the Future Females
Personal Mastery
workshop with
Jackie Palmer on
5 June at Cape Town’s
SCAN VIA
Woodstock Exchange.

2
Start Swinging
The Soweto
International Jazz
Festival is filled with art,
music and dance. Jazz SCAN VIA
enthusiasts can look

4
forward to listening to Uncensored Fun
SAMA winner Ernie Smith, Don’t miss the naughtiest puppet
Grammy nominee Charlie show in town: award-winning musical
Wilson (left) and many Avenue Q takes Sesame Street to a new – and
other talented musicians. seriously risqué – level, tackling everything
On from 14 to 17 June at from pornography to racism via fun puppets,
the Soweto Theatre. a catchy score and a brilliant script. On until
SCAN VIA
15 July at the Pieter Toerien Theatre in Jo’burg.

C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

12
6
Make
the Most
of Youth Day
pired by FP&M
CEO Felleng Yende
ther influential
ers at Jo’burg’s
e Farm Youth
rship Summit
June.

SCAN VIA
y?
On 16 June 1976, thousands of students

5
Get Betting! protested in the streets of Soweto
It’s one of the most against the introduction of Afrikaans
as the teaching language in schools

7
SCAN VIA
anticipated horse-
under the apartheid regime. Met by Stretch It Out
racing events of the year. a brutal police response, hundreds In honour of International Yoga Day on
Bet on horses and spot the were killed and many others injured. 21 June, join more than 1 000 yogis for one
best in celeb fashion at the Youth Day commemorates the lives helluva group class with instructor Joëlle Sleebos
Vodacom Durban July on lost, the bravery of those who
and Adidas. The class will be held on 16 June at
protested and the power
7 July at Greyville Racecourse. of young people. the Cape Town International Convention Centre.

8 A Thousand
Beginnings
And Endings
Edited by Ellen Oh
and Elsie Chapman
In this collection 11 Cinematic
of short stories, Owl City
15 authors retell Musician Adam Young
and reimagine is blessing us with a new
mythological ofering this month. The
tales from Asia. album’s debut single All
Spellbinding and My Friends is a great taste 13 Love, Simon
SCAN VIA wonderfully curated. of what’s in store. Simon is a 16-year-old
gay guy awkwardly
9 Speak No Evil navigating the world.
Uzodinma Iweala Prepare to cringe, cry
Niru harbours a secret and laugh. It stars
P H OTO G R A P H Y G E T T Y I M AG E S, I STO C K P H OTO.C O M CO M P I L E D BY M A N DY M B E K E N I

that could ruin his Nick Robinson,


relationship with his Katherine Langford
conservative Nigerian and Jennifer Garner.
parents: he is queer.
This is a compelling
exploration of
self-identification
and the violence
experienced by
SCAN VIA queer individuals.

10 The Ones
With Purpose
Nozizwe Cynthia Jele
When Anele’s sister
Fikile passes away,
she has to arrange the
funeral. She is haunted
by memories of her
12 No Shame
Lily Allen
Lily’s fourth
studio album has been
a long time coming.
14 Jurassic World:
Fallen Kingdom
Owen and Claire are
on a mission to save
sister and has to deal the dinosaurs that
with family conflicts You can look forward still live on Isla Nublar.
that will afect her to her fearless sound Expect impressive
future. A powerful, and no-f*cks-given lyrics. efects, and loads of
SCAN VIA poignant read. action and suspense. γ
You reveal your most embarrassing, ridiculous, what-was-I-thinking moments

‘I was with a guy, and ‘I went to a doctor


I told him about a pillow to have a wart on my
I’ve had forever, and finger checked out.
how my friends call When the dermatologist
it a ball-sack – because walked in, she put her
that’s what it looks like. hand out. I assumed
Back at my place, while that she wanted to
we were having sex, all have a look, so I stuck
my “normal” pillows fell out my hand like royals
of the bed. Suddenly, he do. She took my hand
said, “Is that your ball-sack?” and laughed. I realised
That’s the last thing you she’d wanted to shake
want a guy you’re in bed it, not look at my wart…
with to say!’ -CHAN, 25 I died.’ -SARAH, 24

‘I was visiting
Poland and walked
around Kraków for
the day. Back at my
hostel, a hostel-mate
told me my pants
were ripped. I’ve no
clue how long I had

P H O T O G R A P H Y A L L I E H O L L O W A Y C O N F E S S I O N S M AY H A V E B E E N E D I T E D F O R C L A R I T Y A N D L E N G T H
the rip in the middle
of my butt. I hope
my coat covered the
free show.’ -SAMMY JO, 27

‘I’m a pro Insta stalker. After I found my


potential BF’s ex’s account, I “investigated” her
– all the way to the beginning. Later, when I returned
to her page, I saw a posted screenshot featuring all ‘I’ve had years of braces and surgeries to get my
teeth near-perfect. When I was 16, I went camping
the notifications from my spree. A glitch had caused with my then-BF and his family. At dinner, they offered
my phone to “like” every pic as I scrolled down her me a mielie. Without thinking, I bit into it. I felt a crunch
– when I pulled the corn away from my mouth, my front
feed. She thinks I’m a fan…’ -STEVIE, 22 tooth was embedded in it. I was mortified.’ -ERICA, 23 γ

C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

14
Stay cool with these winter-white finds

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2 Sca g o
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3 R1720,
PICHUL

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SCAN VIA YARDLEY


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C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

15
the quickie With New Rules singer Dua Lipa

My happy place: My bed in


London. After being on the road,
I can’t wait to just sleep. Everyone
in their 20s should: Travel with
friends. I go to the Glastonbury
Festival with my mates every year.
Fave Insta account: @love.watts
has everything from amazing
photography to glittery eye
shadow. My weakness: Shoes.
My Vetements flame boots are
a new favourite. They spice up
a plain outfit. My best trait:
Kindness. And my worst: I’m
a bit bossy. I know what I want,
and sometimes trying to get my
point across is perceived as bossy.
Weirdest quirk: I eat two boiled
eggs a day. They’re a must while
travelling for work – you never
know what you’ll be served.
The last time I was really
nervous: Before going on
stage in São Paolo with Chris
Martin to perform Homesick.
Pet peeve: People eating with
their mouth open. Current #MCM:
PHOTOGRAPHY MARKUS PRITZI

Paul Klein. There’s no-one like him.


And my #WCW is: Alicia Vikander.
She was captivating in The Light
Between Oceans. My vice: Sour
sweets – always blue ones. γ

C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

16
#REALTALK

Ys No
Kim Windvogel Sarah Browning-
Writer of queer poetry; de Villiers
director of Femme Projects COSMO deputy ed
Instagram: @blazingnonbinary Instagram: @sarahmarybrowning

Growing up, I thought a period was this thing that stains For the past 10 years, I haven’t had a period. Does that mean
your underwear. I shrugged off ideas that my mood swings I haven’t sufered pain, emotional distress, mood swings and
were the result of hormones because there were people with tiredness? Of course not. But I’ve dealt with these challenges
bigger issues: people who could feel their menses being by going to the doctor, taking annual leave, booking in sick
worked out of their uterus as though somebody was punching leave when I needed it, or going for a walk during lunch so
them in the abdomen. I called my pain-free experience ‘period I didn’t swear at Lucy from accounts. There are many ways
privilege’ – being able to go about your work without feeling to manage your self-care that aren’t period leave.
incapacitated. If you have ‘period privilege’ and believe we Let’s say we do have period leave: would I need to prove I was
don’t need period leave, think again. menstruating to be able to get it? What about women who’ve
In the name of empowerment, society tells menstruating had a hysterectomy? What about someone who isn’t cisgender
people they’re capable of everything. I don’t disagree: we run – someone taking female hormones while transitioning, and
the world! But this narrative can silence many menstruating dealing with the emotional and physical challenges of this?
people’s experiences. A period My main issue with period
is our womb cleaning itself on leave is that it’s not fair to the
a cycle. How can this not affect thousands of people who deal
the way we move and feel?

Should
with chronic pain, mental
It’s important that period health issues and emotional
leave isn’t confused with sick turmoil every day. There is no
leave. Our period comes and bipolar leave, no miscarriage
goes almost every month –
it doesn’t mean we’re ‘sick’.
Everyone has access to sick
We Have leave, no recurring-PTSD
leave. You utilise sick, family
responsibility or annual leave
leave, but not everyone
experiences menstrual
cycles and their sometimes-
crippling pain, fatigue and
Period to manage the challenges you
face. You ask your boss to be
mindful of what you’re going

Leave?
through. You ask co-workers
emotional ups and downs. to share your workload. You
For some, the symptoms can go to therapy and start meds.
be severe enough to interrupt Why should the challenges of
their ability to work. This isn’t menstruation be different?
‘sickness’ – it’s the reality of Also: leave costs money.
being a menstruating woman. In uncertain economic times,
In Zambia, women may take one day off per month, known is it sustainable to expect businesses to carry the cost of period
as ‘Mother’s Day’. The name is shrouded in gendered language, leave? Inevitably this will trickle down through lower salaries,
but this day can be taken off due to menstrual cramps or fewer raises and fewer female hires. While the law may protect
emotional wellbeing. The topic divides Zambians: many women from discrimination, some companies will avoid
are against this law, saying it encourages laziness. Yet many hiring us. It happens already: if you’re in your 20s or 30s, it’s
employers say productivity has gone up and overall wellness likely you’ve been asked by a hirer (illegally) whether you’re
of menstruating people is on a better level than before. planning to have kids. This isn’t just because some hirers
Period leave is not unfair to those who don’t menstruate, are douche bags, but because they’re trying to avoid costs.
because they don’t have the symptoms of someone who does. Unlike me, a friend of mine has had periods for the past
They don’t need period leave. Also, those who menstruate don’t 10 years: cripplingly painful ones that saw her hospitalised.
have to use the leave. If your symptoms aren’t incapacitating, She suffers from endometriosis. At one job, she used up all
you continue attending work. And period leave shouldn’t be her sick leave trying to manage her periods. The problem
viewed as an opportunity to run personal errands: it’s a day wasn’t that she didn’t have enough leave: the problem was
to rest, go to a therapist or do the self-care you need. sh*tty doctors not giving her the help she needed.
In a world where periods are shrouded in stigma, we should Not enough doctors offer good care, and there is not enough
do more to help menstruating people manage their periods education and empowerment available for women to demand
and wellbeing while juggling the demands of daily life. A day to have better, happier periods. Let’s rather fight for A-class
off in the name of a period sounds like a good place to start. healthcare for every woman, so period leave is a non-issue. ■

C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

17
INTRODUCING
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IF YOUR HAIR IS
IF YOUR HAIR IS

IF YOUR H
YOUR LASHES may
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Benefit Cosmetics
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either.’ Ditch the tools, formula is key,’ says Rivera. than a big, bushy one,
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C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

22
YOU Wanted
to Know…
Q What are
AHAs in skincare?
A Alpha-hydroxy acids
are exfoliating ingredients
derived from milk and fruit
sugars, which help rid skin of
dead surface cells to improve
its texture and appearance.
POWERHOUSE AHAs
Lactic acid and glycolic acid.

Q What are BHAs in skincare?


A Beta-hydroxy acids are oil-
soluble chemical exfoliators
that penetrate deeply into
pores to clear blackheads,
break-outs and acne.
POWERHOUSE BHA
Salicylic acid.

Q How do I use them?


A Split acids between morning
(for BHA) and evening (for AHA)
to best target skin concerns –
and to get the most out of both.

We Tried…
GLAMGLOW
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HYDRATED GLOW
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You asked, we answered. You’re welcome! Suitable for… Normal


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A potent hit of moisture.


Use it… Daily for the
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How hydrated and
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Salicylic acid Hyaluronic acid at all greasy.
The main BHA player Naturally occurring -Aphiwe Khambule,
junior beauty editor
dives deeply into skin in the body, this is
to unclog pores and the stuff to thank for
remove blackheads. glowing, hydrated MARIO BADESCU
It’s the hero in skin. It attracts and Lactic acid GLYCOLIC FOAMIN
preventing break- Glycolic acid retains moisture CLEANSER (R460)
Derived from
outs, and a great while improving Suitable for…
This AHA game- milk, this one is All skin types.
anti-inflammatory. changer is regarded firmness and gentle enough for Best for… Reviving a
THE ORDINARY as the holy grail of plumpness. sensitive skin (even dull complexion. Use it…
Salicylic Acid 2%
Solution (R220)
acids. It improves NEUTROGENA rosacea). It whisks When you need to deeply
uneven skin texture Hydro Boost cleanse congested skin.
away dead cells to
Exfoliating I love… How radiant
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Cleanser it made my skin look.
SKINCEUTICALS (R110) EUCERIN
Glycolic 10 Renew
-Helen Wallace,
DermoPurifyer
Overnight (R1 528) Toner (R150) beauty writer γ

C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

23
BEAUTY

The Next
x -
Gen ration
of eauty
If you take beauty as seriously as we do, you’re
Get ready for a always on the hunt for game-changing products.
lifetime of five-star Here are the ones you need to try RN
BY A P H I W E K H A M B U L E
skin reviews
Use this
overnight
to get the
1 most out of
the vitamin C.

This at-home
oxygen peel can be
used daily as a great
2
way to deal with skin
imperfections.
3 Next-Gen
Face Mask
A face mask in aerosol
form is a beauty
first: the innovative
1 Next-Gen packaging helps to
Trend preserve and optimise
Ditch one-size-fits-all the eficacy of its
skincare ‘solutions’: you active ingredient,
can now swab your DNA to vitamin C.
find the right ingredients, SVR Hydracid C50 Micro-
targeted at your unique Peeling Smoothing Radiance
Boost Mousse (R595)
genetic blueprint.
EASYDNA Skincare
DNA Test (R2 295)
4 Next-Gen
Moisturiser
2 Next-Gen This all-rounder
Exfoliator 3
delivers hydration
This exfoliator-slash- to skin – but it also
toner works to hydrate has priming benefits,
and revive skin that so you can use it as
lacks oxygen. a moisturiser or as
a base for makeup.
FILORGA Oxygen-Peel
4
Re-Oxygenating Micro-Peeling SMASHBOX Photo
Lotion (R520) Finish Primerizer (R520)
BEAUTY

- 9

Take your
face beat to
a whole new
level

When you exfoliate


your lips, you
stimulate blood flow, 5
making them look
plumper and fuller.

Applying a primer before


5 Next-Gen foundation extends the
Eyeliner base’s wearability, so there’s
This three-point no need for touch-ups.
eyeliner pen makes
it much easier to
draw precise, even
lines – so you don’t 8
have to worry about
messy smudges or 9 Next-Gen
racoon eyes. Foundation
7
CLARINS 3-Dot Liner (R295) This ‘transparent’
foundation will keep
8 Next-Gen your face photo-ready:
6 Next-Gen 7 Next-Gen Lip Primer it blurs imperfections
Mascara Treatment A serum that doubles and minimises pores.
We all have a lash This kit is the pre- up as a primer is a must- HYLAMIDE Booster
favourite, and it’s not lipstick step that’ll have for your makeup Series Photography
Foundation (R475)
necessarily waterproof. ensure flawless matte 6 bag. This one is silicone-
Enter the top coat that application – and that free so it won’t clog
transforms any mascara your lips aren’t left dry pores, and it contains
into a water and humidity afterwards. We’re always agave extract to help
buster with just one swipe. here for sexy, soft lips! keep skin matte.
YARDLEY Raincoat Mascara #SWITCHBEAUTY Prime REN Perfect Canvas
Invisible Water Resistant Top Time Kit Lip Exfoliating Gel Silicone Free Skin
Coat (R99,95) + Lip Priming Balm (R150) Finishing Serum (R995)

C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

25
BEAUTY

Keep your
crowning
13
glory in top 12

shape

Condition hair
and wrap it in a
silk scarf overnight.
Wash out the next
morning for the
best results.

P H O T O G R A P H Y A N D R E W E P E N E R / P I X E L LO U N G E P R I C E S C O R R E C T AT T I M E O F G O I N G T O P R E S S P R I C E S A R E R E C O M M E N D E D R E TA I L P R I C E
10 Next-Gen
Tool
This unconventional
11
hairdryer is lightweight
and practically silent.
With a powerful digital
motor, it’s designed for
super-fast drying – and
because its temperature 13 Next-Gen
is measured every 20
seconds, it won’t ever
Mask
Conditioners
scorch your hair.
are no longer just
DYSON Supersonic conditioners: this one
Hair Dryer (R6 499)
can be used as a mask
to restore overworked,
dull, tired curls.
11 Next-Gen
CAROL’S DAUGHTER
Moisturiser Rhassoul Clay Enriching
Spritz on this Conditioner (R320)
refreshing mist 10
whenever your
hair needs a pick- 14 Next-Gen
me-up. Infused 12 Next-Gen Cream
with coconut milk Treatment Packed with
and mango butter, Great for all hair types, rejuvenating vitamins
it’ll restore shine this product is like a trim to repair, strengthen
and volume without in a bottle – it instantly and hydrate, this lotion
tacky build-up. repairs and nourishes provides and locks in
MAUI MOISTURE split ends for a silky, moisture for hair that’s
Nourish & Moisture fresh-cut finish. sleek and healthy. γ
+ Coconut Milk
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For Dry Hair (R200) Mending Infusion (R465) BB Cream (R196)
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C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

33
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35
how wear:
White Boots
Black boots are giving their
white counterparts a well-
deserved moment in the
spotlight. Here’s how to wear
them like a fashion pro

The All-
Rounders
When putting them to the
style test, treat them as you
would your black boots – they’re
just as versatile, but with added
edge. They’re the ideal trans-
seasonal shoe, and their fun,
fresh charm will keep
you going all True
year long. Team-Mates
Hailey Baldwin proves that
making a statement is as easy
as a change of boots. For a mod-
retro look, pair white boots with an
A-line skirt, polo-neck top and big
sunnies. If your of-duty look =
jeans + a tee, a biker jacket and
boots will keep things sleek.
You can also pair them
Clean- with stripes.
Up Crew
Black boots may embrace
the ‘worn’ look, but roughed-

PHOTOGRAPHY GETT Y IMAGES TEXT CLEO MARCOPOULOS AND CL ARE ROBERTSON


up white booties are just sad.
Wipe cofee spills or dust marks
with a microfibre cloth; when sh*t
gets wine-stain real, use a mixture
of three drops of dishwashing
liquid, three drops of apple
cider vinegar and
warm water.
Ones
for You
Block heels and round
toes will serve the chic
classicist; kitten heels with a
sharp point will be a trendsetter’s
delight; and sporty sock boots will
serve the street-style kween well.
Want something adventurous?
Hailey’s cowboy-style boots
make for a high-fashion
look. ■
R249, R129, R69,99,
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a ch ake you r day
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from inter sla
to w

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A N D C L A R E R O B E R T S O N P R I C E S C O R R E C T AT T I M E O F G O I N G T O P R E S S S TO C K I S T S O N PA G E 1 1 9
PHOTOGRAPHY GETT Y IMAGES, COLLEEN COPPENHALL /DIS COMPILED BY CLEO MARCOPOULOS

R182, R359,
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R179,
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COTTON ON ON

ction
y le c ir c u it ATM, our sele
p of the st lf well
e a d w e a r tr ends being to il l se rv e y o ur trendy se
With h boy hats w
e a n ie s, ca p s and baker-
of cute b
C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

37
i-L h
On the
m
sur face
the righ
t kind
, sh
of
e
f
’s
ig
D
ev e r
ht. Dem
y in

P H O TO
OW S
i-Leig
G R APH
h
Y
aut y
N
N
e
IQ U
q u
ch a be l-Peters gives
e

ITA BEN
e n. Insid

TO FAS
e, she’s
us he
HIO N C L
r
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f
u
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O MARC
rce and full
book fo
O P O UL
OS
of
r life

LY MEA
BY HOL
‘I Don’t Believe in

Luck.
I Believe in

Hard Work’

D
emi-Leigh is about
to board a flight to
the Philippines. I’ve
got a two-hour window
to interview the woman who’s
flying the flag high for South
Africans around the world. It’s
a few weeks after our fashion
editor Cleo Marcopolous and
photographer Niquita Bento
flew out to shoot her in New
York, where she currently lives
as part of her one-year tenure
as Miss Universe. They spent
several days getting a peek
at her Manhattan apartment,
hailing yellow cabs between THIS PAGE
Top R1 199, coat
frenzied Fashion Week shows, R1 499, pants R999,
eating pretzels in Central Park, earrings R129, bag
R499 and shoes R799,
and gazing up at skyscrapers FOREVER NEW
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Jumpsuit R1 499, jacket
New York, like Demi-Leigh, is R1 299 and earrings
the stuff #lifegoals are made of. R99, FOREVER NEW
After being crowned Miss Universe
2017 (she’s only the second winner from
South Africa since Margaret Gardiner
took the title in 1978), Demi has been
catapulted into the spotlight, with fan art
and a glam squad following her around
the world. She’s rubbed shoulders with
Kendall Jenner, walked the runway at
New York Fashion Week for designer
Sherri Hill, jetted off to Jakarta and
Manila for pageant duties, been snapped
on the red carpet alongside Ciara and Lea
Michele at the Super Bowl, and posed for
selfies and lols with Usain Bolt during
her homecoming appearance at the Sun
Met. With her sights set on a career in
the entertainment industry – modelling,
acting and presenting – and a makeup or
clothing line in the pipeline (she says she’s
always fancied herself an entrepreneur),
at 22, Demi-Leigh is ambitious AF.
As a young woman who knows what
it’s like to be under immense pressure,
she shares the six life lessons she’s learnt
on her journey to success so far.

Rewind to a year ago, and not so much. that are designed to give you the
Demi, who grew up in the small Western mental and physical ability to make
Cape town of Sedgefield and has a degree a choice. ‘What I want to achieve with
in business management, was being #Unbreakable is to open a conversation
hijacked at gunpoint. After she handed for women, because I think many of us m never
over the car keys, the men tried to push are afraid to speak up,’ she says. ‘When be 100% right. Just start!’
her back into her car and take her with I was hijacked, I felt so weak – I didn’t
them. ‘I made the decision that I would want the story to get out. But I realised ‘If you’re reading this, you’re so
not go to the second destination,’ she that asking for help doesn’t make you fortunate to have the ability to read,
says. She punched one of the men in weak. It’s not your fault.’ see and comprehend. My half-sister
the throat and managed to run away Following #MeToo and #TimesUp, is my biggest motivation in life. She
to get help. Since that terrifying incident Hollywood’s set a worldwide stage that was born without a cerebellum, and
in June 2017, Demi’s been on a mission: says it’s okay for women to speak up (and is physically and mentally disabled.
her campaign #Unbreakable kicked off out) against gender-based aggression. She will never be able to do even one
with a powerful black-and-white video Demi joined the movement at the Golden percent of the things I get to do daily.
and the words, ‘Sexy does not mean yes. Globes in January, wearing black in ‘Life is too short not to use your full
No means no.’ solidarity and posting a photo with the potential. Stop waiting for the perfect
‘It focuses on empowering women caption: ‘The time of tolerating injustice moment to take the first step towards
with skills and knowledge on how to is up.’ And this is just the beginning: she making your dreams come true – the
handle threatening situations, such says she wants to use her platform (check moment might never be perfect.’
as carjackings, toxic relationships out @togetherunbreakable on Instagram Her sister is one of the biggest
– any abusive or violent act.’ Demi and Facebook) to continue rallying reasons Demi always wants to give
works with an organisation called support locally. ‘I think it speaks to 100%. ‘I feel like I want to do everything
Woman Inpowered, co-hosting a global issue that women face every and enjoy everything twice as much, so
workshops around the country single day,’ she says. I can do it for her sake as well,’ she says.

C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

40
COVER STAR

THIS PAGE
Polo-neck top R899,
coat R1 399, jeans
R899 and shoes R899,
FOREVER NEW

OPPOSITE
Top R999, coat R1 899
and pants R999,
FOREVER NEW

Full name:

Nickname:

My best trait:

One thing people


about me:
’s okay not to be perfect.
st be yourself.’
‘Learning and gaining experience
part of growing up – as long as you
rn from your mistakes, and always
give it your best shot.
‘In general, all people have fear.
ey have a fear of taking a chance,
not being successful in what they’ve
decided to do. That fear keeps them
Rule

back from getting out there, making


that jump and actually going for it.
Don’t be imprisoned by fear. What’s
the worst that could happen? That
you might not make it? That it might
take a long time? Just take the leap.
If you really want something, you’ll
find a way to make it happen.
‘I’ve been told many times to just
be myself. We hear that daily – be
yourself, don’t hide who you are.
It gets difficult in situations where
you compete with other people – you
try to put your best foot forward, but
then you go back and realise that you

A D D I T I O N A L P H OTO G R A P H Y I STO C K P H OTO.C O M , G E T T Y I M AG E S FA S H I O N I N T E R N S N I C O L L E N YA R I R I A N D N I A E DWA R D S


are where you are because of who you

H A I R E L I N N Y B E R G M A K E U P M E G K A S H I M U R A P R I C E S C O R R E C T AT T I M E O F G O I N G T O P R E S S S TO C K I S T S O N PA G E 1 1 9
are. I’ve been chosen as Miss Universe
because somebody saw something in
me that they like – and that is why I’m
here today. And that is why I never want
to change that.’

e ething,
believe in it all the way.’
‘I think becoming Miss Universe is a perfect
example. I know how much I wanted this
since I was a little girl, so when I got to that
stage – with 91 other gorgeous, intelligent,
smart women to compete against – I kept
telling myself what all my strengths were,
SCAN VIA
why I was there, why I wanted it, and why
I wouldn’t give up even when I was tired. It’s P DEMI’S
very challenging and it can be emotionally LOOKS WITH
draining – but it’s so wonderful.’ FOREVER NEW!
COVER STAR

My #MCM:

And my #WCW:
ck.
I believe in hard work.’
The weirdest thing in my bag RN: ‘Nothing has ever fallen in my lap.
And nothing ever will. Everything
I’ve ever accomplished took a lot of
Three young women I admire: hard work, dedication and sacrifice
– but it’s always been worth it.
‘I once arrived at a literature test
unprepared. I didn’t have a clue what
the last three chapters were about. I told
myself that day that I never ever want
My message to COSMO readers on Youth Day: to feel that unprepared or embarrassed
again. I have a fear of looking back and
saying I could have put in more efort
or I should have done more. That’s why
I treat every opportunity as though
there will never be a second.
‘One of my favourite quotes goes
something like this: “The woman who
follows the crowd is likely to go no
further than the crowd. The woman
who follows her own footsteps is likely
to find herself in places no-one else has
ever been before.”’
be.
There is solidarity ever underestimate
in sisterhood.’ e power of positivity.’
‘Something I went through as a teenager ‘Small mind-shifts can make the biggest
and that had a huge impact in my life is fference. Don’t be afraid or ashamed
women – especially teenage girls – not speaking about what you want in life.
wanting the best for other women. We’re From the moment I became the South
powerful as individuals – but can you frican Miss Universe contestant, I never
imagine how strong we would be if id, “if I become Miss Universe” – I said
we joined hands and fought together? hen I become Miss Universe”. If you
‘It starts with deciding that we don’t don’t believe in yourself, how can you
Rule

always have to compete with one another. expect others to believe in you?’
I really like this saying: “A rose will never And when it comes to negative trolls
be a sunflower, and a sunflower will and cyber-bullies, block them out. ‘I try
never be a rose.” Each is beautiful in not to read the comments much. It does
its own way – and so are we as women. get to you. Everybody has an opinion
I think that’s what it’s all about: it’s of what you should and shouldn’t do,
knowing who you are, becoming happy and it’s easy to lose yourself by trying
with yourself as a person, and being to please everyone constantly. So I try
content with that. It all goes back to not to read or to get involved. If you
Jumpsuit R1 499
and earrings R99,
respect, accepting one another, and are going to react, think it through –
FOREVER NEW embracing our differences.’ and don’t act in the heat of emotion.’ ■

C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

43
You’re
Being
Catfished
ONLINE LIFE

Sadly, even the brightest Next thing I hear, he’s been


of people can get caught arrested in the US. He told
out as they get wrapped me he’d bought a SIM card
When I received up in their own hopefulness. And what ‘Santiago’ did next to chat to me on WhatsApp
an e-mail from ‘Luke Don’t let your desire for love is another huge red flag… and that he managed to bribe
Miller’ detailing the cloud your rational judgment. the guards to let him have a
tragic death of his A general rule of thumb: if They ask you phone in the cell. The number
they seem too good to be for money he was messaging me from
mother and father true, they probably are.’ ‘On the day Santiago finally was American – so as far-
when he was just FYI, catfishing can happen agreed to meet up with me fetched as his story was,
a child, I had many anywhere online: on Tinder, in Jo’burg, he told me he’d some of it checked out.
questions, such as: on WhatsApp, on Skype, on received an unexpected I didn’t know what to think.
who TF is Luke Facebook. So don’t drop your e-mail to attend an urgent ‘But his next move made
Miller? Where guard just because you’re not tax meeting (did I mention me realise he was catfishing
did he get my on a specific platform – and how loaded he is?) in Spain,’ me. He asked me to give him
take note of these signs. says Bulie. ‘So off he went. US$80 000 (about R1-million)
e-mail address? Once he landed, he called to get him – and his pilot –
And why is he They refuse me from a Spanish line. released from jail. Apparently,
messaging me? to have a video True Caller confirmed that he only had US$10 000 on
Turns out he was or telephone call the call was from Spain, so him (about R130 000) at
a catfish … and ‘I met a Spanish widower, I didn’t think too much about the time. Suddenly I knew
it’s likely you’ve Santiago, on Tinder. He lived it. During the call, he told the whole thing was a scam.
been approached in Cape Town’s Gordon’s Bay me he loved me and that we I was furious. I felt betrayed
with his two kids, and worked needed to discuss marriage – and very embarrassed
by a catfish, too. in construction,’ says Bulie, 31. (!) when he got back. that I hadn’t clocked
Find out what ‘He said he was finally ready ‘He was apparently flying onto things earlier.
they are – and to date following the loss to the US with his pilot four ‘I told him to never
how to avoid them of his wife. After chatting days later (to check out a site contact me again, or all
to him constantly for more for a potential client), after the information I had on
BY L I S A K AT Z
than two weeks (via Google which he’d come directly him would get him arrested
Hangouts, mostly), I started to Jo’burg to be with me. for real. He unmatched me
he Urban wondering why I’d never on Tinder and blocked me
Dictionary heard his voice. When I asked on Google Hangouts by the
defines catfish him to call me, he always had time I’d finished blocking
as ‘Internet an excuse. I eventually put him on WhatsApp…’
predators pressure on him to call and It may sound OTT, but
who fabricate he did – but the line was so Bulie’s story isn’t unusual.
online identities and entire bad I couldn’t even hear him.’ Lewin warns that ‘Any hint
social circles to trick people Lewin breaks it down: of financial struggle and
into emotional or romantic ‘When you like someone, “fishing” for money should
relationships (over a long you’re neurologically wired to get your alarm bells ringing.
period of time).’ Ugh – don’t want to see what this potential Even if this person doesn’t
people just suck sometimes? candidate looks and sounds ask for money directly, they
According to relationship like in real life,’ she says. might be “priming” you by
coach Shelley Lewin, ‘In the ‘Your brain and body then targeting your sympathetic
best-case scenario, it’s about unconsciously read a variety heart. Your kindness might
being bored, lonely and having of nonverbal cues that result lead to you offering your
low self-confidence. In the in you feeling attracted to hard-earned cash to help
worst-case scenario, it’s a way another person – or not. If he with their misfortune.’
to scam those who are looking or she is avoiding or refusing Don’t do anything you
for love out of their money. this, it’s a huge red flag.’ wouldn’t do IRL – that
It’s also a problem includes lending your time,
because you have no money, contacts or property
tangible proof that they to anyone you don’t know
are who they say they are. well and trust implicitly.

C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

45
ONLINE LIFE

They give endless ‘Turns out “Alicia” had used


excuses why they Mishkah’s pictures to create a
can’t meet IRL fake profile. She had access to
‘I invited Alicia on Facebook all of her pictures because they
and we started chatting,’ says Still, deep down I guess I knew were friends on Facebook, and She never responded, alarmed
Andy*, 33. ‘I was looking for that something wasn’t right. had been catfishing guys for by such a heartfelt message
new connections. After we got ‘When I eventually pushed years. Mishkah initially found completely out of the blue –
to know each other a bit, she to meet up over the phone, it funny and ignored it; then and she was right. Most catfish
gave me her number and we she stopped talking to me. more and more guys started message several people at
started talking on the phone. It really sucked, to be honest, contacting her out of the blue, once, hoping that someone
‘She apparently lived in because she seemed to have insisting she was the person will bite. Don’t let it be you.
George. (I live in Jo’burg.) the perfect personality. they’d been talking to for
She had a great personality A few months later, I was months – even years. I couldn’t They don’t
and was really intelligent. browsing through Instagram believe I had been so gullible.’ have many
We spoke about all sorts and saw a picture of one of ‘If it’s been more than a friends online
of things; she was definitely Alicia’s friends (she was in month and you haven’t met in Or they’re tagged in very few
someone I could see myself a picture Alicia had sent me person, walk away,’ says Lewin. posts or photos. ‘The usual
in a relationship with. while we were still talking). Investing emotionally over response [from them] is “I’m
‘This went on for two years When I went into the friend’s messages or calls isn’t worth new online” – which is unlikely
– then she told me she’d got profile, there were more it if you have no way to confirm these days,’ says Lewin.
married, and stopped talking pictures of her with Alicia they are who they say they are. ‘I started chatting to a guy
to me. I thought about her less – except Alicia was tagged as (Just be safe if you do arrange on WeChat,’ says Rouchelle,
and less as time went by, but it Mishkah. Who was Mishkah, a meeting: take a friend, and 30. ‘His profile picture was
still hurt. A year later, she got and why did Alicia have two always let someone know a picture of a dog, and he
in touch, saying she was now names? I contacted Mishkah where you’re going.) didn’t have any other pictures
divorced because her husband and explained everything of himself on his profile. So
had been abusive. I felt bad to her. They contact I asked him to send me a few.
for her. We started chatting you out of the blue He eventually did – but they
more regularly and made ‘You’re approached out of the were pics of one of my friends!
plans to meet up. blue by a seemingly attractive ‘I confronted my friend
‘But whenever the time person who is lonely and shy, and asked whether it was
came to meet, she had a last- with stories about traumatic perhaps him using another
minute excuse – from having life events and heartbreaking name, but he said it wasn’t.
to leave town for work to her experiences. This is meant to Turns out this guy had stolen
brother being diagnosed with pull on your heartstrings,’ my friend’s pictures from his
cancer! I was angry that she says Lewin. And it’s exactly WeChat account and tried
always had an excuse, but what happened to Roxy*, 28. to pass them off as his own.
I felt like I had to believe her: ‘I was e-mailed out of nowhere My friend reported the whole
who accuses someone of lying Is by someone I’d never met,’ she thing to the police.
about something like cancer? o o says. ‘His e-mail said things ‘When I confronted the
such as, “I’d like to be in your guy I was chatting to, he said
s o life as your best friend and that I was talking nonsense.
love, and know you better A few days later, he deleted
despite our differences. I’ve his WeChat account, and
been searching for a good, I never heard from him again.’
humble and trustworthy Someone who has zero
female to be my soul mate.” digital breadcrumbs likely
He said that he was an only does not have an authentic
PHOTOGRAPHY SARAH BROWN

child; that both his parents history and isn’t representing


died when he was just a child themselves or their life
– all very heartbreaking.’ truthfully online. Your
safest move is to block
’em and move on. γ

* NAME HAS BEEN CHANGED

CO. Z A | JUNE 20 18

6
Ripfumelo
Nkomo, 16
Author, poet
ON OUR LIST FOR Being a
self-published feminist author.
19
Under
‘A feminist author wants
to rewrite the narrative
of sexism and patriarchy.
The purpose of my work
is to liberate people’s minds
and inspire them. In January
this year I self-published
a poetry collection called

19
Indulge In The Profound.
I want to rewrite what
we’re taught to believe.’
LIFE MO ‘“Being realistic
is the most commonly
travelled road to mediocrity.
Why would you be realistic?”
– Will Smith.’
ICONS ‘Terry Pheto,
Wangechi Mutu, Pretty
Proof, if ever you needed it,
Yende, Shonda Rhimes,
Oprah Winfrey, Lebohang
Mashile and Basetsana
that our future is female
Kumalo. They embody
passion and determination.’
YOUTH ISN’T A BARRIER
– and fierce AF!
BECAUSE ‘As young people, C O M P I L E D BY S A R A H B ROW N I N G - D E V I L L I E R S
we know to fight for what
we believe in and to change
what we cannot accept.’
BEST THING ABOUT BEING
A WOMAN ‘Women are
indestructible. They’re finally
rewriting their narrative,
redefining their worth and
repossessing their voice.’
FUTURE GOALS ‘To sell my
books across South Africa.’
Ansolet Rossouw, 18
Model
ON OUR LIST FOR Walking for Dolce & Gabbana and Chanel.
‘I was scouted via Instagram when I was 16. A few months
after that, I was walking for Dolce & Gabbana in Milan.
Then I was cast in a Chanel show this year. Working
with Karl [Lagerfeld] was such a proud moment.’
LIFE MO ‘Live for the moment you’re in.’
ICON ‘Candice Swanepoel, because she doesn’t
care what others say about her.’
YOUTH ISN’T A BARRIER BECAUSE ‘You’re never
too young to start making your dreams a reality.’
BEST THING ABOUT BEING A WOMAN ‘Women are
beautiful! I love being a part of that, and being powerful.’
FUTURE GOALS ‘I’ll be in New York for the next few
months – I’ll see how it goes from there.’

Kiara Nirghin, 18
Scientist, speaker,
engineering student
ON OUR LIST FOR Winning Google’s
Community Impact Award and being the
overall Google Science Fair winner in 2016.
‘Driving to KwaZulu-Natal, I was shocked
Botlhale Boikanyo, 17 to pass empty reservoirs. I won the Google
Poet, spoken-word artist, actress, prize for developing a super-absorbent
dancer, student polymer [type of molecule] that holds
ON OUR LIST FOR Winning SA’s Got Talent hundreds of times its weight in water
in 2012, aged 13. when stored in soil. It increases the chance
‘After winning SA’s Got Talent, I started acting, for plants to sustain growth by 84% during
dancing and writing poetry. My passion for a drought and can increase food security
poetry became a tool to make my voice heard.’ by 73% in disaster-struck areas.’

I FEEL POWERFUL WHEN ‘I perform.’ LIFE MO ‘Dreams don’t work unless you do.’

ICONS ‘Maya Angelou’s work and spirit I FEEL POWERFUL WHEN ‘I get a standing
as a civil activist inspire me. Steve Biko’s ovation from a room full of adults.’
fight against racial segregation is one of ICONS ‘My sister for teaching me to
the reasons I have rights as a young person never settle; Google CEO Sundar Pichai
today. Nomzamo Mbatha’s spirit, humanity for his humble nature; and Elon Musk for
and drive are beautiful to watch.’ reafirming that South Africans can change
YOUTH ISN’T A BARRIER BECAUSE ‘We all the world.’
have dreams and aspirations – it’s about the YOUTH ISN’T A BARRIER BECAUSE
extent of your hunger to achieve them. Just ‘With the increase in online engagement,
like the youth of 1976, we have so much power.’ any teen can gather knowledge in a specific
BEST THING ABOUT BEING A WOMAN area and initiate change.’
‘We’re multifaceted: builders of communities, FUTURE GOALS ‘To inspire girls to believe
leaders, nurturers… The list is endless!’ in their ability and make a diference using
FUTURE GOALS ‘I’m working towards science. I’m also starting at Stanford
presenting my first poetry reading.’ University this year.’
Katlego
Ncala, 18 Michelle
TV presenter Nkamankeng, 9
ON OUR LIST FOR Author, speaker,
Winning Miss Teen entrepreneur
World when she was 15 ON OUR LIST FOR
and being a YoTV presenter Being the youngest
since she was 16. African author and one
‘I definitely experienced “the of the top 10 youngest
power of the sash” – it was amazing to writers in the world.
see what I could accomplish in the year of my ‘I was seven when my book
reign and the platform it gave me. The following was published, but I wrote it
year, I landed my presenting job at YoTV.’ when I was six. I remember
LIFE MO ‘What’s for me will always be for me. going to a book shop and
I don’t need to compete or seek validation.’ seeing that most children’s
books were written by
I FEEL POWERFUL WHEN ‘I’m listening to adults. I thought: why
Beyoncé! And I know there’s absolutely nothing can’t we, as children,
in this world that can break the love between God write our own stories?’
and myself.’
LIFE MO ‘Meditate and pray.’
ICONS ‘My mom is my business guru and inspiration.
My grandmother tells it like it is and her support I FEEL POWERFUL WHEN
is overwhelming.’ ‘My words help destroy
negativity in society.’
YOUTH ISN’T A BARRIER BECAUSE ‘“You have brains
in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer ICON ‘Tata Nelson Mandela
yourself in any direction you choose” – Dr Seuss.’ because he stood up for
children’s education and
FUTURE GOALS ‘To take my company, Petropower SA, helped change the way
to new heights. society looks at children.’
BEST THING ABOUT BEING
A WOMAN ‘A woman gives
birth to a nation. If you
educate a woman, you
educate the nation.’
FUTURE GOALS ‘Besides
achieving at school, I look
forward to publishing at least
two more books this year.’

Paxton Fielies, 17
Musician
ON OUR LIST FOR Being the Hana Jayne Sho, 19
youngest winner of Idols SA, aged 17. Model, photographer, design student
‘Winning Idols [in 2017] blew things up. ON OUR LIST FOR Modelling for the Gucci x i-D
Since then I’ve had two number-one campaign and her unique photographic collections,
singles – Demonstrate and Smother.’ including ‘Boys In Lights’.
LIFE MO ‘The future belongs to those ‘I’m self-taught through YouTube. I like to capture people
who believe in the beauty of their dreams.’ in a soft, angelic way.’
ICONS ‘Rihanna and Aaliyah – they LIFE MO ‘To constantly create.’
achieved so much, so young.’ I FEEL POWERFUL WHEN ‘I can speak about my mental health.
YOUTH ISN’T A BARRIER BECAUSE ‘Your I’ve recently overcome anxiety and depression – not completely,
dreams are achievable at any age. We are the but I can handle it and, more importantly, speak openly about it.’
future and our voices deserve to be heard.’ ICON ‘Petra Collins – a photographer, model and director from Canada.
BEST THING ABOUT BEING A WOMAN She’s a total badass.’
‘How we can empower each other.’ YOUTH ISN’T A BARRIER BECAUSE ‘Our ideas are fresh; we’re going to shape the future.’
FUTURE GOALS ‘My debut album is out, FUTURE GOALS ‘I’ve just started studying communication design at Cape Town Creative
and I’m planning to go on tour.’ Academy. I’ve also invested in a Contax T2 [camera] and am involved in photography projects.’

C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

50
Rabia Ghoor, 18
Entrepreneur
ON OUR LIST FOR Founding
SwiitchBeauty, aged 15.
‘In South Africa we have afordable
brands or high-end brands, but not one
in between – so I founded SwiitchBeauty.’
LIFE MO ‘Love and let live.’
I FEEL POWERFUL WHEN ‘I’m wearing
black winged eyeliner and red lipstick.’
ICONS ‘Insta beauty stars like @cantaraxo
and @hayleyshaymakeup.
YOUTH ISN’T A BARRIER BECAUSE
You’re adaptable, have a smaller fear
of failure and are resilient.’
Sesam FUTURE GOALS ‘I have a ton of beauty
Mngqengqiswa, 18 content planned, plus new products.’
Scientist, mechanical
engineering student
ON OUR LIST FOR
Being part of MEDO Space
Launch 1, designing Africa’s
first private satellite.
‘I started working with MEDO
SpaceTrek in 2015 when they
contacted my high school in
Cape Town. I went to one of
their workshops and had no
idea what was going on – but
I loved it! After that, I went to
more camps and took part
in the MEDO Space Launch 1
satellite design.’
LIFE MO ‘Be the change
you want to see.’
I FEEL POWERFUL WHEN
‘I think of my identity. Knowing Margot Dower, 19
that I carry the genes of people Illustrator, fine art student
who died for justice and allowed ON OUR LIST FOR Her feminist art.
me to be where I am today makes ‘Art serves as a bridge between you and
me feel I can conquer anything.’ an experience or feeling. Art forces people
YOUTH ISN’T A BARRIER to confront things within themselves.’
BECAUSE ‘You can be anyone LIFE MO ‘To look for and acknowledge
and anything you want to be, the beautiful things around me. And to
regardless of your age.’ ask myself, “Am I getting closer?”’
BEST THING ABOUT BEING ICONS ‘My mom keeps everyone and
A WOMAN ‘I love that I am everything together. I love Marina Abromović:
beautiful and don’t have limits.’ she talks about using your body as a weapon
FUTURE GOALS ‘I want or tool to make art.’
to get my master’s and PhD, YOUTH ISN’T A BARRIER BECAUSE ‘Being
and more experience in my young means you have a little bit of invincibility.
field. For now, that means That feeling of “nothing can hurt me” is
committing to my studies.’ important when it comes to being unafraid
to go out and get what you want.’
BEST THING ABOUT BEING A WOMAN
‘Knowing that other women are on your side.
I love being connected to all the other women
who exist and who have existed.’
FUTURE GOALS ‘Pass first year! And find
a way to balance my self-motivated illustrative
work and my degree.’
Tholwana Mohale, 18 Siyasanga Kwinana, 19
Singer, songwriter Activist, law student
ON OUR LIST FOR Winning SA’s Got Talent in 2014, ON OUR LIST FOR Co-founding
aged 14. Amaqhawekazi.
‘My passion for music started when I began guitar lessons ‘Amaqhawekazi educates black female
at school. This has lead to three singles, including Warrior.’ teens about health and self-esteem. We
YOUTH ISN’T A BARRIER BECAUSE ‘We’re the innovative donate sanitary and educational materials
souls looking to expand beyond what is expected of to girls to keep them in school, and remind
South Africans.’ teenagers that their dreams are valid.’
ICON ‘Beyoncé: her strength and dedication blow my mind.’ LIFE MO ‘I’m a work in progress. I’m
working on myself, by myself, for myself.’
LIFE MO ‘I’m the shit. You’re the shit. I’m the shit.’
I FEEL POWERFUL WHEN ‘I work with
BEST THING ABOUT BEING A WOMAN ‘Seeing women rise.’ others, believe in my own abilities and
FUTURE GOALS ‘Carrying on with school, plus finishing my remember that God is on my side.’
pending album.’ ICONS ‘Winnie Mandela, who helped me
understand resilience and perseverance;
and Steven Biko, because he revealed to
me the gift of the mind and education.’
YOUTH ISN’T A BARRIER BECAUSE
‘Innovation, dedication and hard work
are recipes for success that anyone
can adopt.’
FUTURE GOALS ‘To excel in academics
and do holiday work at a top law firm.’

Cwayita Kweyi, 19
Activist, actuarial science student
ON OUR LIST FOR Being deputy
chairperson and co-founder
of Amaqhawekazi.
‘Amaqhawekazi is a for-women,

P H O T O G R A P H Y V A L E N T I N A N I C O L , K E V I N M A R K P A S S P H O T O G R A P H Y, J U D D V A N R E N S B U R G , O M R I D A H A N
by-women organisation that seeks to
transform the lives of underprivileged
teenagers in East London. We do this
by donating sanitary materials and
orchestrating programmes that
are focused on issues such as hygiene
and mental wellness. Our vision is to
Mihlali Xozwa, 19
Activist, finance and accounting student
see intentional, self-driven change
in the lives of black female teenagers.’ ON OUR LIST FOR Being chairperson and co-founder
of Amaqhawekazi.
I FEEL POWERFUL WHEN ‘I impact
others’ lives and participate in causes ‘Amaqhawekazi is an NGO that helps black female
bigger than myself.’ teenagers overcome adversity through fundraising,
donating resources and mentoring.’
ICON ‘Steve Biko – his ideas were crucial
in the struggle and can be applied in any I FEEL POWERFUL WHEN ‘I accept that I can achieve
context where injustice thrives.’ anything – I am my own limitation.’
YOUTH ISN’T A BARRIER BECAUSE ICON ‘My grandmother: she’s imparted so many values
‘Anyone who can conceptualise an to me. If I can be half the woman she is, I’ll have achieved
idea has the capacity to implement a lot!’
it. It takes proactivity and guts – YOUTH ISN’T A BARRIER BECAUSE ‘There’s no formula
these aren’t dependent on age.’ for success. Your purpose is your “why” for everything that
BEST THING ABOUT BEING A you do – when you know this, there’s no stopping you.’
WOMAN ‘Women are the backbone, BEST THING ABOUT BEING A WOMAN ‘Together,
strategists and moral compasses women are a powerhouse. I also love that one day I can
of society. Female collaboration give birth to children who will become individuals in
is a force to be reckoned with.’ this world.’
FUTURE GOAL ‘To expand FUTURE GOALS ‘To stop doubting myself, pass my
Amaqhawekazi to other provinces.’ second year at varsity and work on advancing my career.’
Minentle
Bizana, 17 Brittany Bull, 18
TV presenter Scientist, space science
ON OUR LIST FOR
and engineering student
Becoming a YoTV ON OUR LIST FOR Being part of MEDO Space
presenter in 2016, aged 15. Launch 1, designing Africa’s first private satellite.
‘My mom saw an ad for YoTV ‘Through SpaceTrek workshops I got involved
auditions and encouraged in learning to build devices. At the end of 2017,
me to try out. I always knew we finalised the design of our satellite, due to
I wanted to be on TV. Believe launch later this year. We were teenage girls
in yourself and your dreams.’ without engineering degrees, but could still
be revolutionaries!’
LIFE MO ‘Live in the moment.’
LIFE MO ‘Education isn’t preparation for life,
ICONS ‘Basetsana Kumalo. I consider all the women who
it is life – it’s not something you ever finish.’
fought in the struggle for women’s rights as iconic.’
I FEEL POWERFUL WHEN ‘I can make a diference
YOUTH ISN’T A BARRIER BECAUSE ‘It’s about your
in people’s lives. Having the ability to create change
mind-set. If you look at South African history – specifically
makes me feel powerful.’
the Soweto Uprising – the youth took it upon themselves
to make a change. That’s the power of youth.’ ICONS ‘My mentor Judi Sandrock, a chemical
engineer; my mom, who is strong, kind and a
BEST THING ABOUT BEING A WOMAN ‘We’re taking our
huge advocate for education; and Elon Musk
power back. I love being part of it and proving people wrong.’
– his innovations in tech are huge.’
FUTURE GOALS ‘Perfecting being a presenter – and
BEST THING ABOUT BEING A WOMAN
acing matric.’
‘Having the ability to be soft and strong;
to nurture but also to conquer.’
FUTURE GOALS ‘I’ll be studying at Morehead
State University in the US from August.’

Kwanele Jennifer
Matibi, 16
Entrepreneur
ON OUR LIST FOR
Founding hair-accessories
brand Muse, and being
a Beyond The Lemonade
Stand’s 2017 Teenpreneur
Festival winner.
‘I created Muse in 2016,
ofering stylish hair accessories
that don’t break school
dress codes.’
LIFE MO ‘Act against your Amonge Sinxoto, 17
current circumstances.’
Content creator, activist
ICON ‘My mom is one
ON OUR LIST FOR Co-founding Blackboard Africa.
of the bravest, strongest
single mothers I know.’ ‘Blackboard Africa creates spaces where the voice of African
youth is heard through content and social media. There was
YOUTH ISN’T A BARRIER
nothing that resembled who we are and resonated with us – so
BECAUSE ‘We face a lot
we started Blackboard Africa. It’s about having uncomfortable
of challenges, and the way
conversations that are the catalysts of reform.’
in which we solve them
often leads to innovative LIFE MO ‘“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and
ideas that can make the with all your soul and with all your mind” – Matthew, 22:37.’
world a better place.’ ICONS ‘Can Themba, who told authentic stories reflecting
BEST THING ABOUT BEING the lives of South Africans; Chimamanda Adichie, a Nigerian
A WOMAN ‘We’re given most author who writes beautifully; and Steve Biko for his activism.’
of life’s responsibilities and we YOUTH ISN’T A BARRIER BECAUSE ‘Our voice is fresh
always manage to handle them and current. Age is not a measure of intellect or maturity.’
with bravery.’ BEST THING ABOUT BEING A WOMAN ‘Women are the
FUTURE GOALS ‘To grow backbone of our society. I love being part of such a resilient
my business, and perhaps force that’s only getting bolder.’
enter Miss Teen South Africa.’ FUTURE GOALS ‘To mobilise the reach of Blackboard Africa,
finish high school and pursue further education.’ ■
#Tampon

MustFall
Many of us have access to pads and tampons, which means we can carry
on as usual whether we love or hate our period. But there are thousands
– if not millions – of South Africans who can’t aford these products.
The cost of sanitary products is a cost that is only borne by women,
often referred to as the ‘tampon tax’. Periods are involuntary and
unavoidable, and they are also very expensive. COSMO wants to
end the unnecessary expense – and we need your help!
BY J E N T H O R P E
REPORT

40
Wait, there’s a tax on In the 2016/2017 financial
tampons? Tampons and year, there was an estimated
sanitary pads are subject to R45-billion in irregular
the same value added tax expenditure by government
(VAT) that other ‘luxury – enough to buy more than
items’ are. This year, the 205-million menstrual cups
budget speech announced (11 per woman aged 10 to 49
The average The times that VAT went up to 15%, in South Africa). It’s not a
number of years per year, on meaning these ‘luxury items’
became even more expensive.
matter of a lack of finances;
it’s to do with priorities and
you’re likely to average, you’ll Basic items considered properly managing budgets.
menstruate for. have a period. a necessity (such as brown Government provides
bread and milk) aren’t taxed about 750-million male
with VAT. They’re zero-rated. condoms and 25-million
So why are we taxed for female condoms free of
sanitary products that charge annually. Condoms
are a basic necessity? are important, and we’re glad
In 2016 and 2017, MPs they’re being distributed for
and activists such as Pontsho free: they help protect women
Pilane pressed the National against STIs and unwanted
Treasury to declare sanitary pregnancies, both of which
The average products as VAT-exempt. affect school attendance. You
length of The number of pads or Instead, the Treasury know what else affects school
a period tampons you’ll typically recommended providing attendance? Not being able
free pads to those in need, to access sanitary products.
in days. use per day of your period. funded by national and
provincial government. We need to keep girls

260
This was reiterated by the in school, period
new Minister of Women in UNESCO estimated in
the Presidency, Bathabile 2016 that one in 10 girls in
Dlamini, in March this year. sub-Saharan Africa misses
Yet still, women across South school during her menstrual
Africa do not have access to cycle. According to Statistics
free sanitary products. South Africa (2017) there are
The number of sanitary products Last year, the Department 4 850 706 girls aged 10 to 19
of Women called for input on in South Africa, and almost
you’ll probably use in a year…
a national policy framework 70% of all learners in public
for sanitary dignity. In the schools were attending
department’s 2018 budget, a no-fee school in 2016.
there is provision for a task This means that sanitary
team to develop a framework products will likely be
for the supply of free sanitary unaffordable for more than
sanitary products in your lifetime. products to indigent girls and three-million schoolgirls.
women. Once that’s in place, When girls have no access

R1,50-R3,80
the department promised to sanitary products, it has a
to pilot it in one province. profound impact: discomfort,
The budget for this work is limited participation,
The average price per sanitary product… R4,2-million over the next absenteeism. Girls miss out
three years. But we need to on school during their period
see this plan actioned and or use alternatives such as
rolled out across South Africa rags or toilet paper. Tampon
The amount you’ll spend on sanitary products – sooner rather than later. tax doesn’t just affect our
in your lifetime. That’s a similar cost to the cost Can the government afford purses: it affects girls’ dignity
of an undergraduate degree. to provide free sanitaryware? and access to education.

C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

55
REPORT

accountant by staying to schools through its ‘pay


in school,’ says Kasavan. for a pal’s pads’ option online.
While #TamponTaxMustFall, we do have a host
of women-owned alternatives that can be used to Sheba Feminine
address the economic, health and environmental Sheba Feminine produces Donate today!
impact of tampons and pads. 100%-organic-cotton, Join Sheba Feminine’s
drive to provide safe pads
hypoallergenic, biodegradable and tampons to women
Mimi pads Mimi runs workshops pads, panty-liners and for free. Scan to donate –
Ramona about periods, health tampons, which are just R40 provides a pack
of pads to those in need.
Kasavan, and self-care. Mimi’s available online.
CEO of Mimi, nonprofit arm has Founder Zizipho
grew up in a distributed more Ntobongwana
farming area in than 1,8-million began researching
KwaZulu-Natal, and pads to 42 000 girls. the menstrual health
SCAN VIA
knows how a lack of access Pads can be donated industry and found that ‘It’s
to information affects girls’ to girls in need for R180 male-dominated, producing Reusable period panties
wellbeing. ‘I grew up in a a year via Mimiwomen.com, the cheapest product for the Subz, Dignity Dreams
community where talking helping to address girls’ most profit, with little thought and Bakgat Period Panties
about these issues was taboo,’ absenteeism from school. given to users or their health. produce reusable products
she says. ‘I read COSMO; my ‘It may just be a pack of Our product is chemical-free that last up to five years.
sex ed came from the mag. So pads – but it could lead to and can be composted.’ Sheba Subz provides packs
I wanted to teach girls how a young woman becoming Feminine also partners with that include underwear
to understand their period.’ the next doctor or the next nonprofits to deliver products and clip-on reusable pads.

Price/Lifetime
Product Price/
Product Price (40 years of
Life Span (years) Year
menstruation)

MPower Cup Menstrual cup (You have a choice of two sizes.) 10 R219 R21,90 R876

Princess D Cup Menstrual cup 10 R350 R35 R1 400

Nine washable pads with three pairs of panties,


R242
Subz a drawstring bag, and nine sealable bags to put 5
(ex VAT)
R48,40 R1 936
used ones in while you’re at work/school

Six reusable washable pads, zip-lock bag for used


Dignity Dreams pads, a drawstring bag, and an instruction set
4 R199 R49,75 R1 990

Mina Cup Menstrual cup (You have a choice of two sizes.) 5 R399 R79,80 R3 192

Two pairs of reusable, washable period panties


Bakgat Panties with a built-in pad
5 R598 R119,60 R4 784

Twelve packs of pads for you, and two packs


Mimi pads for you to share with a friend
0 Via agents R180 R7 200

Average pads One pack of 10 moderate-flow pads 0 R16 R416 R16 640

Average tampons One pack of 16 regular tampons 0 R27 R438,75 R17 550

Sheba Feminine One pack of 18 organic-cotton regular tampons 0 R47,20 R681,78 R27 271

C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

56
REPORT

A Timeline
You can buy the packs for Menstrual cups Think green of Modern
yourself or donate on the Another option that reduces As of 2017, there were Period
Subz website and at Clicks waste is the menstrual cup. about 18-million women Protest
stores. ‘It’s a sustainable The Mina and MPower cups between the ages of 10
2004 Kenya becomes
solution,’ says Subz’s are locally produced and last and 49 in South Africa. the first country to
Brenda McCann. up to 10 years. Glenda Tutt, If 18-million women throw scrap tampon tax.
Free packs are owner of MPower, says away 260 sanitary products 2015
given to girls women shouldn’t every year, that’s 4,68-billion Ö$BOBEBTDSBQT
in school via be nervous to try products a year to dispose of. tampon tax following
donations. them: ‘A cup takes ‘The plastic in these products a #NoTaxOnTampons
Over the past a while to get used isn’t biodegradable,’ says Sam campaign, joining Nigeria,
eight years, Subz to, but many Smout, waste sector analyst *SFMBOE 5BO[BOJB +BNBJDB
BOE-FCBOPO
has distributed more than women have said at GreenCape. ‘At landfills,
Ö'PMMPXJOHQSPUFTUT 
80 000 packs, accompanied it changed their life.’ they end up contributing 'SBODFSFEVDFTUBY
by talks on sexual and The cups are also ideal for to methane generation POTBOJUBSZQSPEVDUT
reproductive health. schools that don’t have good and climate change.’ from 20% to 5,5%.
Dignity Dreams provides ablution facilities because Tampons and sanitary Ö1POUTIP1JMBOFQSFTFOUT
washable pads that can be they’re able to hold more than pads aren’t meant to go to a policy proposal to South
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used with regular underwear. an ordinary tampon or pad, a general landfill. But when
provision of free sanitary
‘Some girls don’t go to school so don’t have to be changed at we use and dispose of them QBETUPFDPOPNJDBMMZ
during their period. Those who school. ‘You also don’t have to at home, sending them to EJTBEWBOUBHFEQFPQMF
do can’t take part – they won’t go to an outside toilet at night the right landfill is unlikely. 4IFXBTUPMEUIF
participate because they’re – a plus for safety,’ Tutt says. Many people still flush these Department of Women
scared they’re leaking onto The Princess D Menstrual products down the toilet or was working on a policy
their clothes,’ says Dignity Cup also lasts 10 years, and put them into their general GPSGSFFQBET
Dreams CEO Sharon Gordon. is co-owned by Olympic waste. ‘When they’re 2016
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their period.’ she says ‘Women’s ‘Landfills can’t deal BOEUBNQPOUBY
It’s also health is an ongoing with large volumes Ö/FX:PSLTUBUFWPUFT
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perception. ‘We rural communities. The cup If they’re flushed down 2017
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them,’ says Gordon. In 2017, is that ‘It offers leak-free in the ocean, contributing for customers in its stores.
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POTBOJUBSZQSPEVDUTGSPN
27000 packs of pads.  7"5
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Bakgat Period Panties although activists are
have a built-in pad, and can campaigning for it to
be washed and re-worn for Join Us in the #TamponTaxMustFall Fight CFSFNPWFEFOUJSFMZ
up to five years. For Claudia *UÏT CFFO B ZFBS TJODF UIF HPWFSONFOU JOUSPEVDFE UIF 4BOJUBSZ%JHOJUZ Ö.BVSJUJVTTDSBQTUBNQPO
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products for those in need.

$ 0 4 . 0 1 0 - * 5" / $ 0  ; "  ȍ  + 6 / &     

57
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il rn
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o
M

MARCH INTO WINTER


IN A BOILER SUIT
W I T H A U T I L I TA R I A N
T W I S T. U P D A T E I T
WITH A MOON BAG
S L U N G L O O S E LY O V E R
YOUR SHOULDER.

Boiler suit R3 699, G-STAR


RAW. Jacket R499, FOREVER
21. Moon bag R449, SHELFLIFE
PHOTOGRAPHY GLEN MONTGOMERY/SUPERNOVA CREATIVE MANAGEMENT
FASHION CLARE ROBERTSON
in rd
P pa

t
o
r
e
L

INDULGE YOUR
ANIMAL INSTINCT
WITH AN EXOTIC
LEOPA RD PRINT –
ONE OF THE HOT
TRENDS SPOTTED
O N T H E C AT WA L K .

T-shirt R249, COTTON ON.


Jacket R3 399 and pants R2 399,
SCOTCH & SODA. Bag R599,
AMBER-ROSE HENNINGS.
Boots R699, COTTON ON
it y
n lt
s
K e
v
o
N

SUPERSIZED
S W E AT E R S A R E
COOL AGAIN,
WITH ALL SORTS OF
TEXTURES, COLOURS
A N D E Y E - C AT C H I N G
N O V E LT Y E X T R A S .

Jersey and pants R659 each,


ZARA. Cap R229, FOREVER 21.
Beanie R160, TESSA DESIGN.
Earrings R140, COLETTE BY
COLETTE HAYMAN.
Boots R1 999, ALDO
c
ti
s
n c
a
a i
F st
t
la
P

TA P I N T O T H E
PLASTIC TREND
WITH A TR A NSPA RENT
P V C C O A T. I F T H E
JACKET C AN WARD
OFF WINTER COLD
AND LOOK BLOODY
G O O D D O I N G I T,
I T C A N S TAY !

Coat R1 899, FOREVER NEW.


Perspex coat R5 999, GAVIN
RAJAH. Pants R480, BABETTE.
Earrings R249, ALDO. Shoes
R759, ZARA
p
s c
u
a hi
h
M p
a
r
G

ADD A PINCH
OF PUNCH WITH
A FUSION OF
ECLECTIC PRINTS
AND STRIKING HUES.

Polo-neck top R399, OLD


KHAKI. Jersey R650, BABETTE.
Skirt R650, CHER DREYER.
Camera R940, THE LOT.
Bag R849, CHARLES & KEITH
g lt
a e
B B
e
h
T

IT’S RECLAIMED
ITS POSITION AS
A LUXE OPTION FOR
A HANDS-FREE LIFE.

Polo-neck top R229, H&M.


Jacket R949, FOREVER 21.
Skirt R659, ZARA.
Moon bag R699, THE LOT
k
e
e
h
C
n -
a n
t -i
a ue
T g
r
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T

CHANNEL CHER
HOROWITZ WITH
A TA R TA N S K I R T
AND POPS OF PRIMARY
C O L O U R . M AT C H I N G
TA R TA N S H O E S ?
HELL, WHY NOT!

Hoodie R299 and jacket R699,


COTTON ON. Shorts R559,
ZARA. Belt stylist’s own.
Boots R599, FOREVER 21
n
o
ti
c
fe
P id
r
la
e
P
NO LONGER JUST
A ’90s TREND,
PLAID HAS MADE
I T S WAY B A C K I N T O
THE BIG LEAGUES.
WEAR IT TOP-
T O -T O E F O R T H A T
SOMETHING EXTRA.

Pinafore R180 and hat R79,99,


MRP. Coat R1 999, TOPSHOP.
Leggings R349, COTTON ON.
Earrings R149, ALDO

SCAN VIA

WATCH A
ROUNDUP OF
THIS SEASON’S
KEY TRENDS.
s
h er
e
it
W t
in
W

A N A L L- W H I T E
MONOCHROME LOOK
+ WHITE BOOTIES
= AN EFFORTLESS,
CRISP FA SHION
FORMULA.

Polo-neck top R169,


FOREVER 21. Shirt R2 099,
CALVIN KLEIN. Jeans R399,
COTTON ON. Boots R1 499,
STEVE MADDEN

FASHION INTERN LESEGO MTSOLONGO


HAIR MARY GOUVEIA
MAKEUP KELLY PAITAKI/GLOSS ARTIST
MANAGEMENT (USING CHANEL LES
BEIGES 2018 COLLECTION)
PRICES CORRECT AT TIME
OF GOING TO PRESS
STOCKISTS ON PAGE 119
R779,
FOREVER 21

R299,
ALDO

R899,
ALDO

R879,
ZARA
R1 699,
STEVE
MADDEN

AIRPLANE MODE
Command attention at
check-in with a shiny
bomber jacket and
boldly striped pants.

Your travel adventure starts the second you leave home.


Take it from globe-trotting style star Olivia Culpo,
who’s always fly – in the sky or anywhere
PHOTOGRAPHY TURE LILLEGRAVEN FASHION DIRECTION AYA KANAI
R379, ZARA

R549,
FOREVER 21

BEAUTY
R1 100,
TIP
DUNE
LONDON

Packing light?
GHD Air Saharan
Gold Hairdryer
(R2 000) is
R830, cabin luggage-
COLETTE BY friendly, so you
COLETTE
HAYMAN can score fab
hair on the go.

HOT ON ARRIVAL
Fun stripes, denim
and white sneaks
are sleek and chic.
FASHION

R519,
TOPSHOP

BEAUTY
TIP

Get lashes this major


with Lancôme’s
Monsieur Big
Waterproof Mascara
(R350). Bonus: it’ll
stay smudge-free
for the entire flight.

R549,
FOREVER 21

R1 750,
FRASERS

R3 090,
EUROPA
ART SHOES

EXTRA LEGROOM
Gloriously baggy
boyfriend jeans and
a slouchy sweatshirt are
the upgraded version
of a velour tracksuit.

C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

73
FASHION

R279,
ZARA

R439,
ZARA

R199,
ROCKA

R339,
ZARA

R599,
FOREVER 21

R3 999,
LIPAULT

SMOOTH LANDING
Sweats look cuter when
paired with a bright cap
and sparkly booties.
Luxe luggage doesn’t
hurt either!
OLIVIA’S
TRAVEL
TIPS
A D D I T I O N A L P H OTO G R A P H Y C O L L E E N C O P P E N H A L L / D I S A D D I T I O N A L FA S H I O N C L E O M A R C O P O U LO S A N D C L A R E R O B E R T S O N H A I R L A C Y R E D WAY/ T H E WA L L G R O U P M A K E U P D A N I E L M A R T I N M A N I C U R E

Go-to travel
outfit: I love
an athleisure
M I C H I N A KO I D E /A R T D E PA R T M E N T L O C AT I O N T 5 /J O H N F K E N N E DY A I R P O R T P R I C E S C O R R E C T AT T I M E O F G O I N G T O P R E S S P R I C E S A R E R E C O M M E N D E D R E TA I L P R I C E S S T O C K I S T S O N PAG E 1 1 9

look – stylish My dream


but still comfy. seat-mate
Also cute: in long-haul
denim with would be:
a fitted white Audrey
tee and booties. Hepburn.
I’d grill her
Preferred form on fashion
of in-flight tips and ask
entertainment: about her life.
A great playlist She will always
and a good be glamorous
book. Right to me.
now, I’m reading
True Love by Must-have
Thich Nhat Hanh. cabin items:
A phone
The last stamp charger, a
in my passport travel-size
is from: moisturiser,
Bermuda. and trail mix
with M&M’s.

Easiest way
to look good
at the airport
Carry chic
luggage!

R549,
FOREVER 21 R1 499,
GUESS

STYLE
HIGH CLUB R1 199,
H&M
Snazzy athletic
pieces make
the transition
as soon as you
hit the terminal R859, R6 495,
ZARA SAMSONITE
– just unzip! at Frasers

C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

75
he
T

Revolution
From super-cute face masks to the
10-step routine, K-beauty is taking over
our product shelves, one sheet at a time
BY APHIWE KHAMBULE AND JUANA PARATHYRAS
PHOTOGRAPHY MARNUS MEYER

K-beauty (that’s Korean beauty, not another Kardashian franchise) has been dubbed the future
of radiant, youthful-looking skin. BB creams, sheet masks and essences have become our daily
essentials. In the past two years, K-beauty has blown up into one of the most widely followed
beauty phenomena around the world. Influenced by Korea’s cultural obsession with flawless
skin, the aesthetic is diferent from ours: it’s about nourishing skin so it looks amazing without
makeup, rather than covering it up. From never-before-seen textures to genius packaging,
the heart of beauty innovation beats in Seoul – and now you can tailor it to fit your lifestyle.
PSSST!
If being diligent
with all the steps is a
mission, stick to the five
essentials: pre-cleanse,
exfoliate, moisturise,
add SPF and slap on
a sheet mask now
and then. You’ll be
glowing in no time!

Masking Magic
Sheet masks, important in K-beauty, range from foil-inspired products to knitted
masks, and contain potent ingredients such as hyaluronic acid and vitamin C. Trust
us: 15 minutes on your face will be so worth it! Just don’t leave them on for longer
than the prescribed time because they’ll begin to absorb skin’s natural moisture.
To cleanse deeply, use a bubble sheet mask once a week – we like Glamglow’s
Bubblesheet Oxygenating Deep Cleanse Mask (R120).
Another innovation is the modelling pack, AKA the rubber mask – basically a
sheet mask you build yourself when you need to detox and nourish skin. It starts
out as a powder, turning into a thick paste once you add water. It’s been a luxe Korean
spa secret for years; now you can DIY it with the Lindsay Vitamin Modeling Mask (R80).
TheRules
ofGlass
Skin
The term ‘glass skin’
refers to smooth,
intensely hydrated
skin with a glossy,
glass-like finish. To
achieve it, you need
to befriend seven-to-10-
step skincare, which goes
a little something like this:
pre-cleansing, double
cleansing, exfoliation
with a product such as
Neutrogena Hydro Boost
Exfoliator Gel (R110) to
buf skin for a smoother
texture, toning, priming,
moisturising and the
application of a hydrating
serum such as Clarins
Hydra-Essentiel Intensive
Moisture Quenching
Bi-Phase Serum (R695).
At the heart of Korean
skincare are essences. A
hybrid between a toner
and a serum, an essence
helps to hydrate and
rejuvenate skin, and
is used as a priming
product for better
absorption of serums and
creams. Korean women
live by this skincare step:
it helps to brighten the
complexion and improve
cell turnover. To make the
most of your essence,
gently pat it on before
you moisturise. The
Body Shop Vitamin E
Aqua Boost Essence
Lotion (R175) will ease
you into this step if
you’re a newbie.
M O D E L ZOYA P O N H A I R A L E T V I L J O E N / S U P E R N OVA C R E AT I V E M A N AG E M E N T M A K E U P A LG R I A F E R R E I R A B R A L E T T E C OT TO N O N
Must-Know

P R I C E S C O R R E C T AT T I M E O F G O I N G T O P R E S S P R I C E S A R E R E C O M M E N D E D R E TA I L P R I C E S S T O C K I S T S O N PAG E 1 1 9
K-Beauty Terms
Ampoule A small tear-open
package that contains intense,
potent ingredients.
BB cream A ‘blemish balm’
that combines coverage
with ingredients such as
antioxidants and an SPF.
CC cream A ‘colour corrector’
that helps to improve issues
such as redness.
Cushion compact
foundation A liquid
foundation housed in
a compact, complete
with a sponge applicator.
Double-cleansing A two-
step process of removing
makeup with an oil cleanser,
then a foam cleanser.
Lip oil A lip product with
the finish of shiny gloss and
the moisturising properties
of a balm.
Pre-cleansing The use of an
oil-based cleanser to remove
impurities prior to using your
usual cleanser.

Skincare-Makeup Fusion
First we got BB and CC creams; now we have cushion compact foundations that provide sheer coverage
and have amazing skincare benefits, such as extra hydration. Use Lancôme’s Teint Idole Ultra Cushion
Foundation (R530) 06 on its own, or apply it as a touch-up on top of makeup.
Pair ‘airbrushed’ skin with gradient lips for a natural, no-makeup vibe. In Korea, gradient lips are a staple:
Korean women have been using lip oils for centuries to achieve soft, moisturised smackers. Elizabeth Arden
Sheer Kiss Lip Oil (R295) Pampering Pink contains active ingredients that repair the delicate skin while
providing nonsticky shine.
And ditch contouring: the Korean secret to a natural finish lies in the power of blusher. Anything that makes
the complexion look more hydrated is a winner, so try a multipurpose cream product, dabbing it on from
temples to cheekbones. We like Stila Convertible Color Lip & Cheek Cream (R335) Fuchsia. ■
SCAN VIA

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8 Step
to Havi g
Your Period
Your Way
C O M P I L E D BY
S A R A H B R OW N I N G -
DE VILLIERS
BODY

BECAUSE IT’S YOUR BODY,


AND YOU GET TO DECIDE #2 Know
WHAT GOES, HERE IS YOUR
GUIDE TO YOUR MODERN PERIOD. Your l Hormonal
IUDs
Mirena releases
levonorgestrel,
which reduces
the thickening of
the uterine lining.
Because the IUD is
next to the uterus,
If you’re sufering, you don’t have hormones don’t
to put up with it. There are options. Pill and Ring have to travel in the
Check with your doctor, then… These methods body, making them
prevent ovulation; very efective, says
TRY THESE FIRST Ginger that mechanism also gynaecologist
Anti-inflammatories According to a 2015 study, reduces the amount Meredith Loveless.
Pop ibuprofen or aspirin with it’s as efective as an anti- of lining that builds up Your period might
food every six to eight hours, inflammatory in relieving in the uterus, so you go away entirely.
starting two days before period pain. Try a 250mg have less to shed.
your flow, says gynaecologist supplement every six hours.
Anti-
Juliet Nevins. Four pills Inflammatories
This class of meds can
(800mg) of ibuprofen every Vitamin injections
reduce flow for the same If It’s
eight hours for the first two
to three days are safe (unless
An injection of vitamin K1
into an acupuncture point reason they help with Lighter
you have gastric issues). just above the inner ankle cramps – because they
improved menstrual pain can lower your levels
Exercise for an hour, according to a of prostaglandins.
Cardio and stretching can study of 14 women reported Progesterone
mitigate period pain, says in Alternative Therapies Therapy
a 2014 study. Working out In Health And Medicine. The same kind of
releases mood-enhancing hormone that IUDs
beta-endorphins and helps WHEN ALL use to give you a
boost circulation. ELSE FAILS… Disordered
more pleasant period
Narcotics Sleep can be taken orally to
Self-massage Some women’s pain during Skimping on
lighten up the flow.
A short aromatherapy menses is so severe, doctors sleep throws your
rubdown may reduce suggest serious painkillers hormones out of Regular
cramps, perhaps as a result such as hydrocodone. ‘Try whack, causing Exercise
of increased blood flow. Lie
on your back with a pillow
everything else first,’ Nevins
says. ‘Narcotics use can
a domino efect
throughout your
If It’s Docs aren’t

under your knees, pour 2ml quickly lead to dependency, body – including, MIA sure why, says
Loveless, but
of lavender oil on your belly, especially if you rely on them potentially, a a good exercise
and rub gently around the every month.’ disappearing routine seems to
navel and upper pelvis. period. make periods a bit
Surgery lighter. Aim for at
WEIRD, BUT Sometimes, period pain is least 20 minutes
MIGHT WORK the result of problems such of brisk walking
Kinesio taping as fibroids or endometriosis. every day.
You know that flexible, This kind of pain tends to Extreme Exercise
colourful tape athletes start earlier and last longer Intense physical strain may
are often sporting? A study than regular cramps, and cause the pituitary gland to
in the Journal Of Physical suferers don’t often have Being slow or stop its production
Therapy Science found that it the nausea or diarrhoea that Underweight of reproductive hormones
helps with period pain. Place can accompany them. Your Blame the combination to conserve energy for
a short strip between your doctor may suggest fibroid of extreme strain on the essential functions. Fitness
bellybutton and the top of removal, a laparoscopic body systems plus low fiends: beware of rapid
your pubic hair, and a longer procedure for endometriosis, body fat, which equals weight loss, and eat plenty
strip horizontally between or (in very serious cases) unbalanced reproductive of protein and healthy fats.
the hipbones. a hysterectomy. hormones.

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86
BODY

Whether you get a drip or a deluge is kind of random. Two things really
matter: if your personal normal changes and if your frequency is funky
(more than once a month or less than every three months). If this sounds
PCOS like you, the info you need to get back on track might be here:
With polycystic
ovarian syndrome
(PCOS), your cycl
may be super-
short and light –
or extra-long and Wild Funky
Adenomyosis
heavy. You might
also have weight
Cards Schedules
Aka endometriosis of
the uterus: endometrial
Uterine Fibroids
or Polyps
gain or obesity, Among flight tissue grows into the Some can alter the
excess body attendants surveyed in lining of the uterus, lining or shape of the
hair and acne. one 2013 study, about causing painful, heavy uterus. In addition to
It’s serious, raising 15% sufered heavy periods. Don’t suck it a lot of flow, look out
the risk of infertility periods. Researchers up – talk to a gynae. for irregular bleeding,
and diabetes, so believe this could be
pelvic pain, frequent
see a doc. linked to jet lag and
Stress sleep disturbances.
urination and backache.
Chronic everyday
stress – as in, an
abusive relationship
or being someone’s
caretaker – may make
Smoking
Fasting Especially if
your period weirdly
Muslim women who Excess you started as The Copper IUD
irregular or light
fasted during Ramadan a teen, according
(perhaps because an Weight ‘The uterus has to get used
experienced a variety to a 2014 study to the copper – it causes
anxiety-ridden body More fatty tissue
of menstrual problems, published in some inflammation, so you
isn’t an optimal place means more
including abnormally the journal build up more blood,’ says
to host a foetus) one oestrogen, which
light periods, very short Tobacco Control. Laura MacIsaac, associate
month, then doubly can thicken uterine
cycles, and abnormally professor of obstetrics,
heavy the next time lining and cause
long or heavy periods, gynaecology and
you menstruate. skips in ovulation.
according to a 2013 study reproductive science at the
When your period
in the Iranian Journal Of Icahn School of Medicine.
does come, it’s
Reproductive Medicine.
crazy-heavy. If It’s ‘By the third menses, it
should go back to normal.’
Heavier

Bleeding
Prescriptions
If you’ve been
prescribed meds
Flow Disorders
Super-heavy periods
such as tranexamic
acid – used to treat
Chart Working with
Chemicals
can be a mark of Von
Willebrand disease, an
haemophilia – you
can expect reduced
bleeding during your
Key In a recent Iranian
study of employees
at a pharmaceutical
under-diagnosed genetic
disorder. Watch for other
signs such as nosebleeds
period too. company, those Soya and bruising.
who were regularly Eating food
exposed to certain that contains
Work organic solvents phytoestrogens
had heavier periods. can theoretically
Lifestyle Older studies on farm elevate your
workers found that oestrogen levels STIs
Health Issue those exposed to and bring trouble. Chlamydia, gonorrhoea and
pesticides also had Still, you’d likely pelvic inflammatory disease
menstrual trouble, have to eat a can interfere with the
Meds possibly because ton of soya to uterus’s ability to contract,
some chemicals can see an efect, making bleeding worse.
mimic oestrogen. says Loveless. Your gynae can test you.

C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

87
BODY

#3 Beat Gut Trouble What to do Hormonal Lower-Back


The hormones that make contraceptives can help Pain
your uterus contract – or cause crankiness. If This could be cramps in
also make the organs one brand fails you, try disguise: some uteruses

the along the digestive another. Snack on protein tilt towards the back
tract contract. Result? to prevent blood sugar- so that may be where
Bloating, constipation, related moodiness. you’re feeling it.
diarrhoea and nausea. IT WORKED FOR ME! What to do Heating

Other What to do If you can,


take ibuprofen. Hormonal
birth control may help:
pills with low oestrogen
‘I take a bath with Epsom
salts and drink cucumber
water like it’s my job.’
-ALANA, 29
pads can help. A National
Institutes of Health
study also showed that
weekly sessions of yoga

Body are good for sensitive


stomachs. And cut down Acne
or stretching helped
to lessen back pain.

Issues
Cramps aren’t the only
pain-in-the-ass that crops
on salty junk food – it
makes bloating worse.
IT WORKED FOR ME!
‘I head to yoga to relish
in the pose modifications
ofered to women on
their “monthly holiday”,
as my instructor calls it.’
High progesterone levels
before your period rev up
oil-gland activity. Then
testosterone (a source of
skin trouble) stays steady
as the hormones that
usually balance it drop.
What to do Use a gentle
IT WORKED FOR ME!
‘I put essential oil in a
difuser that night, and
I. Did. Not. Have. Cramps!’
-ANDRÉA, 28

Fatigue
It’s super-common, says
-BECKY, 29 cleanser such as Cetaphil
up. Here’s how to feel better: Gentle Cleansing Lotion
gynaecologist Jennifer
Ashton. She says women
Cravings (R182). Don’t use harsh may feel wiped out by a
Pre-period, the stress scrubs, toners or wipes. decline in hormone levels
hormone cortisol spikes Contraceptive pills with before a period starts.
while calm-inducing drospirenone (Yasmin, What to do Give in
serotonin dips, leaving Yaz) can also be used to sleepiness at night,
you wanting sugary, fatty, to treat moderate acne. aiming for seven to
salty comfort food, says IT WORKED FOR ME! eight hours. When you
dietitian Willow Jarosh. ‘Mexican food.’ wake up, even though
What to do Meet them -ADRIANA, 23 you might be dragging,
halfway. Instead of fries, do 30 minutes of cardio
have baked sweet-potato (walking works). It’ll give
wedges (the potassium Headaches you an energy boost.
curbs water retention). and Migraines
The drop in oestrogen IT WORKED FOR ME!
If you want Chinese, eat ‘I yell like a wild banshee.
lean protein and broccoli afects the activity of
It startles my boyfriend
with brown rice (to keep key neurotransmitters,
… but, you know, pain.’
you regular) without says osteopath Lee
-KASIA, 30
sauce (to beat the bloat). Peterlin, director of
headache research at
IT WORKED FOR ME! Johns Hopkins University Weight Gain
‘Raspberry tea.’ School of Medicine. It’s likely water retention
-SHANICE, 27 What to do Pop anti- caused by hormones.
W inflammatories two days What to do Cafeinated
Th e H Mood Swings before a period headache drinks can be a natural
i s ea usually hits. Magnesium diuretic, says Ashton.
An he M Tr Pe rt
T When your flow
dro y
id Fl
ac rio starts, there’s a drop oxide may help prevent And hit a spinning or
re k
die cord ; R29 o app er d
ta ,9 (R in oestrogen, which migraines – or ask a doc hot-yoga class to sweat
P
pa nd MS 9 fo 26
i , about prescription meds. away water weight and
to n, an exerc symp r iOS 99 fo plays a role in mood
yo dc ) le minimise PMS in general.
wa u r a i s e to m ts r regulation – hence IT WORKED FOR ME!
ys moo n ale advic s, of you
fo r d .I r t y e to ers
your transformation ‘Orgasming usually IT WORKED FOR ME!
go
od them t eve our p ofs into a she-Hulk … or helps, so try to have ‘A fizzy drink, like ginger
gra to n s art et
ce s u n someone who just some me-time!’ ale, always works.’
s . # t ay i g g e s e r
Ge n y t watched The Notebook.
niu our s -SOPHIE, 31 -MORGAN, 23
s!

C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

88
#4 Stop Your Period
Screwing with Your Skin
It’s bad enough that hormones wreck your mood, but your
skin? Not cool! Here’s how to outsmart those nasty suckers:
Days 1 to 5* 3 WAYS TO
Menstruation

The beginning of a typical 28-day cycle starts with your period. As the lining of the uterus is
DEAL WITH
shed, hormone levels drop – oestrogen, testosterone and progesterone are at their lowest, HORMONAL
says functional nutritionist Alisa Vitti, founder and CEO of Floliving.com and the MyFlo app, CYSTS
and author of WomanCode. 1
HORMONE HACK You’ll likely experience redness and sensitivity due to a rise in prostaglandin Topical Treatments
– the hormone-like compound increases inflammation, explains dermatologist Joshua Zeichner Because deep, painful
pimples don’t have a
– and an increase in blood flow to capillaries. Stick to soothing skincare. head, most traditional
1 KIEHL’S Daily Reviving Concentrate (R850) acne creams can’t
2 AVÈNE Redness Relief Moisturizing Protecting Emulsion SPF 20 (R230) reach them, says
celebrity aesthetician
Renée Rouleau. Try a
Follicular Phase

cleanser that contains


Days 6 to 12 a form of lactic acid to
Hormone levels (specifically oestrogen) start of low but start to rise slowly as your body penetrate skin deeply,
begins to mature follicles in the ovaries. purify pores and
reduce swelling.
HORMONE HACK With your hormones less active, skin will feel less sensitive, red and reactive.
‘Now is the time to use more intense treatments and products,’ says Vitti. Give yourself a DIY 8 PHFORMULA
Foam Cleanse (R470
facial with an exfoliating mask, then follow it up with Clinique’s serum. It’s also the ideal time at Dermastore.co.za)
for a wax: research shows that as oestrogen levels rise, so does your pain tolerance.
2
3 SKOON Papaya + Pineapple Sherbet Enzyme Exfoliating Mask (R499) Oral Medication
4 CLINIQUE Sculptwear Lift And Contour Serum For Face And Neck (R1 105)
The Pill keeps
hormones in check,
and can reduce
Days 13 to 15 hormonal acne. It
Ovulation

As your body prepares to ovulate, oestrogen and testosterone levels continue to increase. also suppresses your
ovaries by supplying
HORMONE HACK You’ll glow during this part of the cycle. ‘Oestrogen ups collagen production the body with excess
and keeps skin moist and plump,’ says gynaecologist Lauren Streicher. And testosterone causes oestrogen, which
skin to produce more sebum, which acts as a natural moisturiser, says Vitti. If your skin is makes skin naturally
glowy, says Streicher.
typically oily, the testosterone rise can cause pimples, so incorporate an exfoliating wash into If that doesn’t work,
your routine. This L’Oréal cleanser uses three diferent clays and red algae to de-gunk pores. talk to a dermatologist
5 L’ORÉAL Pure Clay Purity Wash (R99,95)
about spironolactone,
which can be used
of-label as an
androgen-blocker to
Days 16 to 28 treat hormonal acne.
During this post-ovulation/pre-period phase, oestrogen plummets while progesterone spikes.
Luteal Phase

3
HORMONE HACK This is the most troubling time for the complexion. ‘Hormonal imbalances A Healthier Diet
cause inflammation in skin and can trigger androgens to produce thicker sebum in pores,’ says ‘The quality of your
skin specialist Kristina Holey. Pre-empt break-outs with a probiotic-infused cleanser to reduce sebum and whether
or not it has an
bacteria sans stripping, says Zeichner. Increased circulation to capillaries plus sleepless nights inflammatory efect in
(common during this part of the cycle) can lead to dark circles – so don’t forget the eye cream! the skin plays a big role
6 ESSE Cream Cleanser (R275)
in hormonal acne,’ says
7 DERMALOGICA Intensive Eye Repair (R819) Holey. You can thin out
your sebum by sticking
to a low-inflammatory
diet – that means
fewer sugary treats
and more veggies.

* DAYS ARE AN
APPROXIMATION,
BASED ON A
28-DAY CYCLE.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
BODY

#5 onour
Yo r Period
Ancient civilisations and cultures, such as the Cherokee Indians of North America – who believed
menstrual blood was the source of feminine strength and could destroy enemies – celebrated
cycles, aligning their power with spirituality. But you guessed it: patriarchy has eroded the
association of the menstrual cycle as sacred in our society. Time to claim it back!

ulge a Little
Track Your ren’t just a physical
Moon Cycle what’s in your body
Use an app such as a time of emotional
Moon Period Tracker too. Honour this by
(R3,99 for iOS) to track ng self-care while
how your cycle aligns eding. Create a ritual
with the lunar cycle. complete every time
You’ll need to do it your period: spend
for a few months to with a face mask on,
get an accurate idea. book; light candles
u’re at home. Diarise
in your calendar for
riod: by making it a
date, menstruation
s something to look
o rather than dread.

Read What
the Moon Is
Telling You
After understanding w
you typically menstr
around the New Moon
Full Moon, you can read
that tells you. There ar
menstruation patterns
Miranda Grey, author o
Moon: Understanding
Using The Creative, S
And Spiritual Gifts Of
Menstrual Cycle: white
bleeding (menstruating Switch up
New Moon) and red m Your Energy
bleeding (Full Moon). Light plays a big part in your
align with white moon bl physical and mental energy
it suggests you beco – which makes sense, since
more intuitive around the shifting moon phases
period. You also need t also shift light in the night
withdraw and practise se sky. Everything from going
otherwise you become d outside during Full Moon so
If you’re more of a red m you can soak up lunar light to
it’s about becoming cr ensuring your space is full of
and connecting with o natural light during the day
seeking out mentors – and removing artificial light
and developing yourse such as your phone screen
community or teaching at night – can switch up the
way you feel, especially
during ovulation.

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90
BODY

6E d
Period
Anxiety
Ever feel as though you
spend half the month
unhinged? One day your
stress situation is totally
manageable; the next,
you’re in a foetal position,
convinced you’re gonna get
fired. Eventually (say, a few
days after your flow starts),
you snap back to normal,
HOW TO
questioning your sanity.
EASE YOUR
Premenstrual dysphoric ANGST
disorder (PMDD) can wreak 1 Prioritise Exercise
havoc, says Tory Eisenlohr- Consistent exercise
Moul, an associate director can help, says Chisholm.
of translational research in Cardio, for example,
the Women’s Mental Health releases endorphins
Research Program at the – chemicals that can
University of Illinois. PMDD keep negative emotions
brings irritability, mood swings at bay.
and – for many suferers –
extreme anxiety (which can 2 Eat for Calm
In the two weeks before
manifest as excessive worry,
your period, eat small
an upset stomach or an inability but a symptom itself, says ‘At worst, they can lead
portions of complex carbs
to focus). A breakthrough study the study’s coauthor Dr Peter to substance abuse and/
(such as whole grains)
found that women with PMDD Schmidt, chief of behavioural or thoughts of suicide.’
throughout the day to
have diferences in how some endocrinology at the National If panicky feelings surge boost serotonin, a feel-
genes are expressed in their Institute of Mental Health. ‘In in the days leading up to your good neurotransmitter.
cells, making them extra- the past, women told us their period, track your symptoms
sensitive to hormone changes. doctor said they just weren’t for a couple of months. An app 3 Redirect Energy
That may be why, when coping with their symptoms such as the free Me v PMDD ‘If you’re on edge or
progesterone spikes (around well enough,’ he says. ‘Now can help. Typically, a doctor having a panic attack,
day 14 of your cycle), many we know that’s not the case.’ will diagnose PMDD if you observe your physical
PMDD suferers feel amped Millions of women aren’t have at least five symptoms and mental symptoms
with anxiety, says Dr Andrea getting help because most in the lead-up to leak week – but don’t try to get
Chisholm, a gynaecologist at PMDD patients go undiagnosed, that fade thereafter. Then rid of them,’ says Andrea
Cambridge Health Alliance. says Chisholm. And the stakes she may prescribe mood- Batton, a licensed clinical
This finding is major. It helps are high. ‘Premenstrual regulating antidepressants counsellor. Doing so in
prove that PMDD patients’ pre- emotional symptoms afect or medication such as Lupron, the moment only adds
period angst isn’t an overblown a person’s relationships and which works by suppressing fuel to the fire.
reaction to other symptoms overall wellness,’ she says. your cycle.

C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

91
BODY

8
and is often not entirely intact
when you first have sex.’

MYTH You shouldn’t


bath on your period.

K o
VERDICT False

e ‘It may be beneficial: the heat


can assist with pain relief if you
sufer from cramps. Relaxing in
a bath can alleviate symptoms

ac
of PMS, too,’ says Johnson.
con g?
tart h MYTH You shouldn’t work
out during your period.
You’re Probably VERDICT False

I L L U S T R AT I O N S M A R I N A E S M E R A L D O T E X T S A M A N T H A L E FAV E , L A U R E N B A L S A M O, C A S S I DY LO A N E A N D M I C H E L L E
fro
at Your Horniest ‘The endorphins may help

KO N S TA N T I N O V S K Y P R I C E S C O R R E C T AT T I M E O F G O I N G T O P R E S S P R I C E S A R E R E C O M M E N D E D R E TA I L P R I C E S
‘In the menstrual phase, you’re improve mood and alleviate
interested in sex because the cramps,’ says co-owner of Lila
uterus is expanding with blood Dr Lindi Murray. ‘Just don’t be
and pressing on nerve endings alarmed if you find exercise

Fictio
in the pelvic basin,’ says Vitti. more dificult than usual. Delay
high-intensity or endurance
workouts until the week after
Orgasms Can your period, which is the best
Ease Cramps time to tone and build muscle.’
They’re not going to cure endo
or extreme pain – but orgasms MYTH There’s a defined
MYTH Toxic shock syndrome says Dr Ilana Johnson, co-owner
increase blood flow and release ‘normal’ period.
means I must avoid tampons. of Cape Town ob/gyn practice
chemicals such as endorphins. VERDICT Kinda
VERDICT False Lila. ‘They all involve hormonal
Both can help ease pain. ‘Periods difer for everyone,’
Toxic shock syndrome (TSS) methods, and are all reversible
is a potentially fatal illness – if you stop the method, your says Murray. ‘Discuss a period
caused by bacteria, not period will return. The Mirena, that feels abnormal to you,
There Actually Isn’t tampons. They can facilitate the injection and some Pills can causes distress or afects your
That Much Blood it because a blood-soaked induce amenorrhoea. You can quality of life with a doctor.
According to women’s tampon is a good place for also use your Pill continuously No-one should have to sufer
empowerment initiative bacteria to grow, says – avoiding the red or “placebo” every month!’ That said, docs
EcoFemme, the average Loveless. But the odds of pills to skip the bleed. None of do use the below guidelines
amount of blood expelled TSS happening are rare – these options are unhealthy!’ to determine a ‘normal’ cycle
during a period is about 35ml there are between one and – if you don’t match up, it’s
– just two to three tablespoons. 17 cases for every 100 000 MYTH I’m more likely worth checking with a gynae
It’s not just blood that sheds: menstruating people per year. to get a UTI on my period. to ensure that you’re okay:
there are other fluids in there, And if you leave a tampon VERDICT False
such as cervical mucus. Bottom in for too long? If it’s been in ‘It just isn’t true,’ says Johnson.
line? You won’t shower your there for more than a day or Ö"
partner in blood during sex. two, see your gynae. ‘We’ve MYTH Tampons take whe QFSJPE T
Ö " D n you UBSUJO
days ZDMF UIBU ’re 12 or H
taken some crazy things out away your virginity.
of vaginas before. It won’t VERDICT False your (from t MBTUT  13;
pe he UP
of yo riod to t first day 
But Know This: You shock us at all!’ says Ashton. ‘Sexual intercourse takes away
h
Can Still Get Pregnant your virginity,’ says Johnson.
Ö " Q r next p e first d of
u
Being on your period isn’t an MYTH Going on ‘Your hymen (the membrane FSJPE eriod ay
U
Ö 4PNour to si IBU MBTUT );
f
excuse to skip contraceptives. contraception to get rid that surrounds or partially
Sure, the risk of pregnancy of my period is unhealthy. covers your external vaginal brea F NPPEx days;
st te DIB
is reduced – but where VERDICT False opening) can be “broken” by cramndernes OHFT
there’s a vagina and semen, ‘There are diferent ways to many daily activities, from ping s and

it’s always a possibility. stop your period temporarily,’ horse-riding to working out,

C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

92
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WORKOUT

Before going full force, perfect your form


by doing the move a few times on each side
sans dumbbell. Make sure to keep your
core engaged from start to finish.

One-Move Workout:

in m
Celeb trainer Astrid Swan (@astrid_swan)
– the woman behind Julianne Hough and
Olivia Munn’s fierce bodies – helps you
sculpt abs without a single crunch

Hold a 2 to Return to
4,5kg dumbbell the starting
in your right position.
hand, and That’s one
stand with rep. Do three
your feet wider sets of 12 reps
than hip-width on each side,
apart, left three times
toes facing a week.
out and right
toes pointing
forward. Jut
your right hip
out to the side.

Raise your
right arm ASTRID’S
straight up EXERCISE INSPO
towards the PRE - SWE AT S NAC K
ceiling as you ‘Almond butter [in sachets]
hinge to your has healthy fat, fits into my
left, reaching gym bag, doesn’t require
your left arm a spoon and tastes good!’
towards your
L A Z Y- DAY
left ankle. Keep FIT- S PI R ATI O N
your eyes on ‘I’ll take a group class.
the weight, and I use the energy of the
your shoulders people around me as
away from motivation. Since I’m
your ears. competitive, this keeps
me working hard.’
P O ST- GY M RO UTI N E
PHOTOGRAPHY ALLIE HOLLOWAY

‘I immediately wash my
face with cleansing wipes
SNAP to prevent break-outs.’ γ
NOW,
SWEAT
LATER!
Take a pic
of this
move, and
bring it to
the gym.
C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

94
The Go-To
Moves You Can
Do Something Today Do Anywhere
Stationary Inchworm

That Future You Wou d Targets: abs, biceps,


shoulders and pecs

Be Proud of’ 1 Standing with your


feet hip-width apart,
hinge forward at the
hips and touch the floor
In 2014, fitness enthusiast Khethiwe Mlangeni, 37, and biokineticist with your palms.
Letshego Zulu, 33, created PopUpGym – a movement that proves
you can work out almost anywhere
What’s PopUpGym? headsets by everyone (which and posting them to
PopUpGym is about taking makes the events noise-free) social media with the motto 2 Walk your hands forward
charge of your life by leading add to its uniqueness. Events #TrainAnywhere #TrainAnytime until you’re in a plank position.
a healthy lifestyle, eating well are held around the country, #NoExcuses. The interest on Hold for 10 seconds.
and treating your workouts as outdoors, and typically involve social grew – people wanted
meetings scheduled in your three workouts led by various to exercise with them.
diary. It’s centred around the trainers, conversations and As a result of this demand,
idea of doing something today workshops around health and they initiated the PopUpGym
that future you will be proud of. fitness, and body assessments. outdoor activations to show
PopUpGym makes exercising that any space can be turned 3 Walk hands back to
a fun group experience for up How it began into a place where you can the starting position.
to 300 women. The line-up As health and fitness exercise – and that any
of trainers – such as fitness advocates, Mlangeni and woman, however busy and
instructor Mapule Ndhlovu Zulu started shooting videos whatever her commitments,
– and the use of Bluetooth at diferent outdoor locations, can get active and healthy. γ

4 Repeat 10 times. That’s one


set; do three to five sets.
THEIR DAY Spiderman Lunges
ON A PLATE Targets: quads,
hamstrings, glutes
BREAKFAST and lower back
Cooked oats with honey
and milk; or muesli with 1 Place your left foot
plain low-fat yoghurt on the outside of your
and fruit left arm and extend your
right leg behind you.
SNACK
Two boiled eggs
or nuts

LUNCH
Salad with a protein
such as chicken, beef, 2 Move your left foot back
chickpeas or boiled eggs to meet your right so that
you’re in a plank position.
SNACK
A protein bar or fruit

SUPPER
Grilled chicken,
mixed vegetables
and a small portion 3 Repeat steps one and
of rice; or beef strips two with the opposite leg.
on a bed of couscous
and mixed vegetables

Visit Popupgymsa.co.za, or follow PopUpGym 4 Repeat 10 times on each


on Instagram (popupgym), Twitter (popup_gym) side. That’s one set; do
or Facebook (popupgymza). three to five sets. γ
Samsung pulled out all
the stops when designing
the Galaxy S9 and S9+ –
a camera that mimics the
function of the human eye, a
smartphone that understands
any lingo, and wireless charging
that won’t leave you hanging.
Life is about the memories
you make

Be Entertained
The best sound and image that tech can ofer is right in the palm
of your hand. The Samsung Galaxy S9 boasts stereo speakers that
are tuned by AKG, while Dolby Atmos creates a 3D sound experience.
Combine that sound with the phone’s Infinity Display and you have
a user experience that’s ahead of its time. Feast your eyes – and
bop your head!

Augment Your Reality


It’s the feature that’s got everyone talking: the Samsung Galaxy S9’s
augmented reality feature transforms your selfies into personalised
emojis. Share you IRL feelings and expressions as emoji stickers and
videos – and digitise your diva-ness.
ADVERTORIAL

Slow Down Life


in the Fast Lane
The camera on the Samsung Galaxy S9
and S9+ shoots at 960 frames per second,
thanks to its super-speed sensor. Put yourself
in the director’s seat: slo-mo can be added
to a video in bursts. The pop of the cork.
Your reaction to a big surprise. That moment
when you catch the bouquet. Slow precious
moments right down to the millisecond.

Talk the Talk


Travelling abroad but no hables español?
Don’t sweat it: Bixby Vision on your
Samsung Galaxy S9 is standing by.
With its Live Translation feature, you
can explore the world around you using
your own hand-held interpreter. Simply
point the camera at the text you want to
translate, and voilà! There it is – in English.

Have Enough Space for


Every Special Moment
The expandable memory on the Samsung
Galaxy S9 means you can insert a microSD
card for up to 400GB of extra space.
All your memories are automatically
organised and shareable – and you’re
Insta-ready, always.

Live with No Strings Attached


No more tripping over cables and wrangling
with wires: simply place your phone on the
wireless charger and power up. It’s positioned
at the optimum angle, so you can keep streaming
and texting while you charge. Charging up will
no longer tie you down – we got you, boo.

Capture the Highlights


– Even in Low Light
The clinking of glasses at a romantic candlelit dinner,
standing braai-side and toasting marshmallows, a
tear-jerker of a sunset… The revolutionary Galaxy
S9 and S9+ camera is up to the challenge, even in
PHOTOGRAPHY GETTY IMAGES

low light. Its F1.5 aperture adapts to light levels


the way the human eye does, so you can capture
what you see, when you see it. ■

For more info, go to Samsung.com/za or connect with Samsung on social media: SamsungSouthAfrica SamsungMobileSA samsungmobilesa

Wireless charger sold separately.


s s
ow o
i
BY C A I T L I N C A R L S O N
The word ‘flirting’ can
sound quaint to the point
of being lamely outdated.
But the ability to banter
playfully with someone
you’re into is a time-honoured
and valuable dating skill. ‘It
heightens sexual tension and
distinguishes your dynamic
from a just-friends situation
– and it can help you gauge
compatibility and chemistry
on many levels,’ says dating
coach Laurie Davis Edwards,
founder of The Worthy One
and author of Love @ First
Click. The only problem?
In the era of digital dating,
you may never have learnt
this analogue skill, or you’ve
let it expire. Here’s how to
signal you’re down to get
much, much closer.

Use Enticing Words Pepper in Emoji Shoot Over a GIF Get a Little Fresh
Data from dating app Toss in a wink, smiley ‘When texting, it can be When flirting with
The League found that face or kiss – the top dificult to express yourself, your thumbs, banter is
women who write ‘mmm’, emoji used by both and even more dificult to the only thing you have
‘cute’, ‘gorgeous’, ‘aww’ sexes when flirting on show emotion – but GIFs to go on. ‘It has to create
or ‘handsome’ in their their phone, according take some of the pressure enough rapport that you
messages are six times to a Match.com survey. of,’ says Jess Carbino, want to meet up,’ says
more likely to swap But do so sparingly, Tinder and Bumble’s Edwards. While chatting,
numbers with a match and not in lieu of a resident sociologist. ‘You look for moments where
than their less-flirty complete sentence can send a flirty GIF, such you can tease him or be
counterparts are. ‘Try a line when one is called as batting eyelashes, sassy with an intriguing
such as, “A handsome guy for, says celebrity that conveys interest challenge, such as, ‘I’ll tell
who likes ice cream? Mmm”,’ matchmaker and without having to be you when I see you’ or
says the app’s founder and dating strategist too forward.’ It also ‘Wonder if you’re this
CEO Amanda Bradford. Jasmine Diaz. shows your comical side. funny IRL…’ He’ll bite.

C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

100
LOVE

Lock Eyes Now what? ‘You simply respond


(In a Non- can’t go wrong with ‘Thank you’,
Creepy Way) with an earnest then move the
‘Some old- compliment,’ says conversation Despite how intuitive women can be, 82%
school methods Sassoon. Look along. If that
of us don’t know when we’re being flirted with,
are irreplaceable,’ for something feels too abrupt,
says Rori Sassoon, you find flattering throw some honest
according to a University of Kansas study. The
co-founder and about him (his praise right back. researchers chalk it up to the many different styles
CEO of the VIP outfit, his drink of wooing. A sincere flirt, for example, discloses his
matchmaking choice), or mention Send Signals feelings (‘Um, I like you’), though you might mistake
service Platinum something sweet with Body him for being friendly. Other guys may opt for the
Poire. ‘There’s he did, such as Language polite style – acting ‘cautious almost to the point
nothing sexier giving his seat Consider all of being passive’, says study author Jefrey
than two confident to another person the nonverbal
Hall. If he wants to hang out or asks
people making or helping to get hints you give
eye contact across the bartender’s when you’re
whether you’re seeing anyone,
the room.’ A glance attention so not interested take the hint: he’s into you!
or two in which you someone could in someone:
make eye contact order a drink. you fold your
(for three seconds arms, avoid eye
max!), paired Recognise contact and lean
with a subtle His Efforts back. When you
smile, sends a If a guy tosses out want to show that
clear message: a line such as ‘You you’re listening,
‘I’m interested.’ have beautiful eyes’ engaged and
and your response intrigued, make
Say Something is ‘I bet you say sure to uncross
Nice that to everybody’, your arms, look
The hottie picked you come off as him in the eyes,
up what you’re sceptical, says and casually tuck
putting down, and Diaz (even if it your hair behind
he’s approaching. was a total line). your ear, says Diaz.
If you’re interested
in getting to know
this dude, instead
of deflecting or
P H OTO G R A P H Y M A RT I N R U S C H / T R U N K A R C H I V E .C O M

downplaying his
comment (c’mon,
he’s trying here!),

Although there are other motivations (like sex),


most happy couples who are long-hauling it keep flirting because it’s fun, says David Henningsen,
a professor of communication at Northern Illinois University. ‘As a relationship develops, flirting
may not seem as important – but it can show your partner you’re still attracted to them,’ he says. ■

C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

101
Sho er Get a grip

Sex That
Holding on to the shower
curtain as your partner takes
you from behind can rip it down,
and putting your foot on the slick
edge of the tub for a better angle

Doesn’t En
during face-to-face sex is asking
for trouble. That’s why products
such as the Sex In The Shower
Single Locking Handle (R375
at Matildas.co.za) – made just

in t e
for wet hook-ups, with a suction
function to provide a safe grip
– are must-haves.

Steamy air, cascading water,


soapy naked bodies gliding
against each other… Shower
sex sounds incredibly erotic.
In reality, the experience
can be anything but. First,
the close quarters and slick
surfaces call for some pretty
awkward manoeuvring. Bring a buddy
‘And then there are the An inconspicuous vibrating loofah,
physical dangers, such as such as the Vibrating Mesh Sponge
(R403 at Desir.co.za), can help you
slipping and falling,’ says sex lather up and act dirty at the same
coach Alicia Sinclair. You’re time. Hidden inside the layers
aching for an orgasm, not of mesh is a waterproof bullet
an arm cast! That said, here vibrator. Let your partner work
at COSMO we are undaunted it all over your body, stopping
at hot spots such as your nipples
by carnal challenges, so and clitoris for an X-rated thrill.
we’ve come up with tips
for safely pulling off
a wet ’n’ wild session.
BY J U L I E VA D N A L
S
Rub-a-dub-dub
Take turns giving each other
a scalp massage with shampoo, S S
Light it up then move on to full-body stroking
O R
Most bathroom lighting with a soap such as Oneka
is harsh and unflattering – Shower Gel Unscented (R305
the opposite of mood-setting. at Faithful-to-nature.co.za)
If you have a tub or a glass shower – an organic, fragrance-free
door, consider dimming or killing formula that won’t mess with
the overhead lights and lining the your vagina’s pH levels.
bathroom counter with scented
candles for a sensual and sexy
glow, says Sinclair.

The Bathing Booty


Firmly plant your feet on the tub floor, and
make sure they’re secure. Bend over at the
waist and spread your legs so your guy can
enter you from behind. He gets a stellar
view, while you get plenty of G-spot feels.

The Edge of Glory


Oral in the shower = an awesome
adventure. Take turns sitting on the edge
of the tub and pleasuring each other with
your mouths. On your turn, switch up the
pace of your tongue, twisting from long,
slow licks to speedy circles.
P H O T O G R A P H Y G E T T Y I M A G E S I L L U S T R AT I O N S K AT I E B U C K L E I T N E R

Feel even wetter


P R I C E S C O R R E C T AT T I M E O F G O I N G T O P R E S S

Getting water in your privates


can actually dry them out, Cushion the blow
making sex uncomfortable. A face cloth is not only an
A silicone lube, such as Jo ideal accessory with which to
Premium Silicone Based rub each other down – it’s also a
Lubricant (R655 at Desir.co.za), great cushion for your knees. Lay The Stream Team
keeps the action slidey and glidey. a few on the floor of the shower Face your partner, lean back against the
shower wall, and wrap one leg around his
(Just remember to put down a (or use a bath towel) when you’re
torso, then have him enter you. If you
nonslip mat on the shower floor.) going down on your guy or if have a hand-held shower head, aim the
you’re doing it doggie-style. γ water at your clitoris while you swivel
your hips back and forth.
b t
Decode His
Apartment
Psychologist and
relationship expert
Antonia Hall helps
analyse what a guy’s
personal space reveals
about him. If he has…
According to a recent
survey from financial-
planning platform
LearnVest, men think
a lot about romance
in the context of rands
and cents. Here is what
they bank on:

would rather be
single forever than
have a spouse who is
financially irresponsible.

A Super-
Polished and
Pristine Abode
are more likely to He’s adulting, and it’s likely
talk about their financial the rest of his life is in order
habits (how they spend, too. But if he makes you feel
save, invest, etc) with anxious in his spotless
place, he may be
friends than with
too hung up on
a significant other. appearances. Nostalgic
Keepsakes
Everywhere
Given his glory-days
shrine, his focus may be
have hidden at least three stuck in the past. Don’t
purchases from a partner fret: if he makes plans in
in the past year. advance, he’s confident
about where this
is going.
THE LOVE COACH
M AT T H E W H U S S E Y

Dirty
Clothes and
Piled-Up Dishes 1 2 3 4
He may be busy, lazy … or
artsy! One study suggests The Knee Tap The Drive-By The Neck Sniff The Full-Body
clutter can promote While sitting next Caress Say, ‘You smell Hug
creativity – so go easy to him, briefly As you approach great! What is Don’t go for the
on him until you figure touch his knee or walk past him, that?’ Then come shy hug. Imagine
out what’s behind when you’re lightly scrape the in close to take you’re trying to
the chaos. about to tell him back of his head a whiff. He’ll feel connect as many
something exciting. with your nails (just your breath on his of your parts to
(‘Oh, you just have above his hairline). neck and your hand his as possible
to hear this story…’) There’s something on his shoulder, – and have the
It’s a moment animalistic about and he’ll be able confidence to
of attraction being touched to smell your hold the hug for
between you. there. scent too. an extra second.

Minimal
Decor and an
Empty Fridge
It’s possible that he has
a fear of commitment, or
prefers to put his energy
into outdoor adventures.
Take your time to suss
out whether it’s just
a phase.

PERCENTAGE OF MEN
UNABLE TO CORRECTLY
IDENTIFY THE VAGINA
IN AN ANATOMICAL
DIAGRAM.
SOURCE: THE EVE APPEAL SURVEY (2017)
P H O T O G R A P H Y F I L I P P O D E L V I T A / T H E L I C E N S I N G P R O J E C T. C O M ,
G E T T Y I M AG E S , M E N TA L A R T   +   D E S I G N / STO C K SY

Would He Rather: Have His Crush Date His BFF or Enemy?


‘Best friend, for ‘Best friend ‘Could go either ‘Worst enemy! ‘I think worst
sure. Because would be easier way. Probably Then you can enemy. If it
then you could to get over – enemy, because still potentially were your
actually even though at least they date them in the best friend,
propose a I might be won’t be able future without you’d have to
threesome…’ jealous.’ to rub it in consequences.’ be around them
-ZACH, 24 -COLE, 19 your face.’ -COLIN, 27 all the time.’
-TREVOR, 19 -WILLIAM, 23 ■

C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

105
LOVE

Fhatuwani Mukheli, our guy with Q My husband works


all the answers, is here to help with some really beautiful, funny,
clever colleagues – and I’m scared
he’ll stray. How do I deal?
If he’s given you no real reason to be worried (he lets
you know when he’s working late, he isn’t hiding you from
Q I’m a bit afraid to be honest his co-workers, he’s open about any messages on his phone),
with my partner about some you need to give him the benefit of the doubt. Remember,
of my sexual fantasies. How he’s chosen to be with you. That said, letting him know that it
can I broach the subject worries you can help – just be sure not to make it an accusation.
without feeling stupid? Telling him something such as ‘You’ve got such great
You’re not alone. It’s likely your As much as I love bae, co-workers, I sometimes worry they’ll realise how amazing
partner has their own sexual spending the whole day you are and get a little flirty’ lets him know you’re uneasy,
fantasies – and that they’re with him at work is my idea but also compliments him and doesn’t accuse him of
equally embarrassed to talk of hell. How do I tell him? having done anything wrong. You’ll also have
about them. But since most Honesty is the best policy. opened up the conversation so it’s easier to
set boundaries if you feel (or he does)
people find confidence (and To avoid ofending him, be
that it may be helpful.
knowing what you want) a turn- clear about why you’re not
on, talking about your sexual keen to share a workplace –
fantasies could have the same and make it practical, rather
efect. Start by having a fun than a reflection on him.
convo about sex: perhaps ask Things such as not wanting Q I think my partner has a how you’re contributing to the
about the craziest thing they’ve to be distracted at work, that secret stash of money they’re shared pot. Give your partner
ever done, or what their favourite it wouldn’t be nice to have a not telling me about, even a chance to be honest with you.
kind of porn is – anything that senior reprimand you in front though we live together If you have any evidence they’re
feels a little out there, but is safe of him, that you don’t want and share everything. hiding money, perhaps raise
enough to ask. This will help you to be known professionally Should I be worried? this with a question rather than
gauge how adventurous and as someone’s partner, or that Money is one of the biggest an accusation: ‘I thought your
open they are – and you’ll have you want to be able to vent reasons relationships fail, so it’s salary was R15 000, but I’m not
created a conversation that can to him objectively about work important to tackle this head on. seeing that much coming into
easily lead into ‘What are your when you get home are all valid. When it’s just the two of you, talk our account?’ If your suspicions
fantasies?’ Take it step by step, Explain that, above all, you’re about money: a good way in is to are correct, give them a chance
PHOTOGRAPHY GETTY IMAGES

but know that everyone has kinks concerned it could afect your say you want to review finances to explain themselves: their
and quirks – and whoever you’re relationship negatively – and and discuss how you share things reasoning may surprise you.
with should love you for them. remind him your relationship going forward. Ask your partner In the end, trust is vital in a
is too important to risk this. to talk honestly about what they relationship. If your partner
Q My BF wants to apply for You’re telling him how much earn and what they contribute. is lying to you about money,
a gig at my company. Thing is, you care, which will be dificult Demonstrate your openness it’s not a good sign, and could
I don’t want to work with him! for him to find ofensive. by sharing what you earn and be a reason to get rid of him. ■

C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

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Your
Five-Year
Plan BY DAY N A E VA N S

Here’s a question
scarier than that
creepy clown in It:
‘Where do you see
yourself in five years?’
You’ve probably
heard it a gajillion
times – from your
parents, your friends,
potential employers
and ugh, lame first
dates. And even
if you typically
deflect it with a
corny response,
chances are high
that, inside, you
feel a mounting
panic that goes
something like
this: ‘SOS! Everyone
else has their life
figured out and
I have no clue! I’m
so effing screwed!’
Permission to stop RIP THAT BAD
spiralling granted. BOY UP – YOU’VE
GOT A NEW GAME
PLAN NOW…
WORK

he truth is, the


five-year plan
isn’t relevant
any more.
Thanks to
warp-speed
globalisation, automation
and innovation, experts say
it’s nearly impossible to predict
what the economy – much less 1 SNAPCHAT
‘DISCOVER’
PRODUCER
your part in it – will look like
in the future. Five years is now Your favourite brands
all it takes for entire companies on the app have an
entire team of people
to be created and shuttered,
behind them, dedicated
big industries to thrive then
to creating content
dive, or new jobs to emerge or become a public-health try to get coffee or drinks once
solely for Snapchat.
seemingly out of nowhere. advocate. Staying focused a month. Over time, this crew
These days, you can safely on one particular track (à la could dish on opportunities,
bet that your professional life
will take unexpected twists
previous generations) means
you could miss out on major
help you network, and develop
into a supportive sounding
2 INSTAGRAM
INFLUENCER
High-profile ’grammers
and turns. A recent LinkedIn opportunities. Cast a wide net board for your ambitions. with big followings
study found that more than by setting up Google alerts for get paid to promote
a third of 25-to-33-year-olds
have changed their career at
key terms you’re interested
in, or by following hotshots
Own products on their feed.
Your parents might
least once. So embrace a more in your field on social media. your wins not get it – but your
modern way of preparing Forget later – capitalise on friends (and wallet)
to rock the work world –
starting with this advice.
Leverage what’s working for you now.
Keep a work journal to track
most certainly will.

your pals your job six months at a time, 3 DRIVERLESS-


CAR ENGINEER
Enter the Like the five-year plan, formal
mentorship programmes can
says Lauren McGoodwin,
founder and CEO of the job
Want to be part of life-
changing technology?
flex zone be flawed. The old-school advice site Career Contessa. The auto industry
‘The career path most women format suggests you have one ‘Jot down compliments and is itching to hire
take is no longer a “ladder”,’ professional mentor for your comments from your boss, programmers for this
says Carrie Kerpen, co-founder entire career. ‘You’re putting so you’ll be able to see your new wave of vehicles.
and CEO of Likeable Media, pressure on a single person to progress,’ she says. Mark dates
and author of Work It: Secrets
For Success From The Boldest
give you all the answers,’ says
Kerpen. In today’s job market,
of big work triumphs, such as
the day you made a massive
4 PROFESSIONAL
MILLENNIAL
EXPERT
Women In Business. ‘Women you should be getting advice commission. Record losses too. Seriously. It’s a thing.
who have the best stories and from many sources, including Every few weeks, see what Baby Boomers and
who are the happiest are those your connected peers. made an impact. Did you take Gen Xers in CEO-level
who’ve tried different things. Start a personal advisory the feedback you got in January positions often hire
They didn’t end up doing what board, says Kerpen. ‘Select and apply it the next month? young, Web-obsessed
they set out to do when they five people you can talk to If not, is there still time to do whizzes to fill them
were 21.’ The lesson? Be open about different aspects of so? ‘Most people obsess over in on social-media
to new gigs that might not even your career.’ Consider friends, the future because they don’t guidelines and to
exist yet, or nontraditional jobs colleagues, former co-workers, think they’re doing a good job help them understand
adjacent to your current one. bae’s sister – people you’d call in the present,’ says Kerpen. the Millennial mind.
PHOTOGRAPHY ALLIE HOLLOWAY

For instance, just because if you were thinking of quitting But watching your growth
you have a nursing degree
doesn’t mean you’ll work in
your job, or if you needed
advice from someone who’s
in real time allows you to
build confidence and a solid
5 SUSTAINABILITY
COORDINATOR
Climate change afects
a hospital your entire life. You ‘been there’. Not every person professional foundation from businesses, so employers
could pivot to consulting, work needs to be in your industry. small, tangible wins. You can are trying to reduce their
for a pharmaceutical company, Start a group text – and if use these on your CV – or to carbon footprint. Help
join a healthcare start-up everyone lives in the same area, hype yourself in the future. γ them figure out how!

C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

110
ADVERTORIAL

H w to
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o al
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FOUR TIPS FROM OUR PANEL OF


SOUTH AFRICAN INFLUENCERS

The #COSMOHustle2018: KEFILWE MABOTE


LUXE STYLIST
Influencer Edition career
workshop, brought to you
by Boschendal, took place
at The Empire in Jo’burg.
Speakers included influencers
and COSMO cover stars Aisha
Baker, Sbahle Mpisane and
Kefilwe Mabote, and social
media law expert Emma
Sadleir. Here are some
of the things we learnt.
Hold on to
AISHA BAKER
Your Values
SOCIAL PIONEER ‘Never compromise your
values for a paycheque.
The money will call to
you – but ask yourself
whether your reputation
will outlast the quick fix.’

EMMA SADLEIR
SOCIAL MEDIA LAW EXPERT
Toughen Up
‘Not everyone is nice.
Some people might
brush you of or reject
you. Get comfortable
with it – it’s reality.’

SBAHLE MPISANE Stay Woke


P H OTO G R A P H Y N I Q U I TA B E N TO, VA L E N T I N A N I C O L

BOOT-CAMP BOSS
‘Think before you post.
Make sure that what
you post doesn’t violate
anyone’s human rights.’
BROUGHT TO YOU BY

HEAR WHAT WE HEARD!

Forget
the Haters
‘I’m a believer in
the block button. The
best way to silence the Watch all the talks in full:
haters is to succeed at scan the QR code to access the
what you’re doing.’ #COSMOHustle YouTube playlist.
Do
Career
Tests
ctually
or ?
What test types are out
there? When should you
take them? How could
taking one help you?
Find out here, whether
you’re choosing subjects
to study or wanting
a career change
BY B U S A N G S E N N E
WORK

areer or aptitude tests are typically multiple-choice yourself you didn’t know ‘Aptitude tests form part
tests that assess your skills, your personality type (or presumed weren’t the of what is referred to as a
or the way you think. Generally they don’t assume case). For example, you may “differential approach” to
any prior knowledge, so you don’t need to revise think that what motivates career counselling – as in,
beforehand; but you can practise some types to you is the type of work you how you differ from the next
improve on how you complete them (for example, nonverbal do, but then learn that a job person,’ she says. ‘[Getting]
reasoning tests – more on this later). Using specific methods to title and its status are bigger a big enough picture of who
get information on what you can do and how you do it, career driving factors for you. And you are in relation to work
tests can help you decode your strengths, weaknesses and that’s okay! Now you know is absolutely vital.’
passions. But do they work – and are they even relevant? more about what to look You can use test results
As anyone who’s been through Grade 9 knows, picking for in terms of industries to help identify your unique
subjects when you don’t know exactly what you want to do and roles that will offer you selling point – the key skills
for the rest of your life can feel like a huge responsibility. That’s this kind of satisfaction. and personality traits that
where career counsellors at schools can introduce career tests While not every result is will make a company want
to help you. ‘I did two aptitude tests in high school: one before 100% accurate, you can take you. The results also let you
I made my subject choices and another when I was deciding on board insights you feel are examine your weaknesses
valuable. Think of it as a BFF: and work on these. In fact,
what to study at university,’ says Andrea van der Kuil, a Wits
cutting through the BS to tell tests are still relevant enough
graduate. ‘I went to a certified career counsellor and completed
you what you really need to for companies such as Burger
a bunch of tests. The counsellor analysed my answers and
hear, but not always bang- King and PwC to use them
explained what he thought my best options were in terms
on right about everything. in their application process.
of subject and career choices. Looking back, it was a great One of the reasons for this
way of approaching what career to pursue. Although what Do you even is that (unlike your cover
you do doesn’t define who you are, choosing a career that need career letter or CV) it’s difficult
lines up with what you’re passionate about does make for tests these days? to BS your way through
a fruitful life and career path.’ Job descriptions that didn’t a test – so some recruiters
A good career test should ultimately speak to your passions exist a year ago are popping feel it’s a more transparent
and strengths, and how you can harness these, whether that’s up in new industries every day. way of understanding
the matric subjects you choose, the further-education options How can tests work in a career whether you have the
you consider, or the industry or job types you apply for. climate that’s unpredictable? right personality and skills
Duraan believes aptitude to fit a company and role.
tests may be more relevant ‘Companies use many
Who are these a computer, or taken in person than ever – especially when types of tests, including
tests for? and interpreted by a human. you’re trying to show your aptitude tests, to determine
You can take a test at any stage They’re typically multiple- potential boss what makes whether an individual is a
of your studies or career. If you choice tests aimed at assessing you unique amid tons of good fit for the particular
feel stuck in a rut or stifled in a strengths and weaknesses, other strong applicants. position, or even just to see
job, a career test can help you or how you answer, read whether their personality will
determine where to go next. or interpret something. fit into the company culture,’
‘I see two types of people in A test’s effectiveness has says Duraan. ‘Companies
my practice: students unsure a lot to do with your attitude. sometimes have to choose
of what they’d like to study, ‘You can choose to disagree ‘You can between two individuals
and working adults who’ve with your results, but most disagree with with identical experience
been in a career for a while of the time you’ll be given and qualifications, and
and become unhappy, and are insight into your strengths
your results, need another method of
now questioning their career that is difficult for you to but most of the determining who would
choices,’ says Michelle Duraan, pinpoint by yourself,’ says time you’ll get be best for the position
a counsellor in Cape Town. ‘A Duraan. ‘They also get you they have available.’
career assessment may help thinking about yourself in
insight into your Want to take a test to find
provide the clarity you need relation to the world of work.’ strengths that out the subjects you should
to make your next move.’ What if your test doesn’t is difficult for choose or the career path you
give you the results that you to pinpoint should take? Want to brush
Do they work? you expected? It’s part up on some of the test types
Aptitude tests can be taken of the beauty of it: you’re by yourself’ you may encounter through
online and be calculated by discovering things about job applications? Start here:

C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

113
WORK

The Free Tests whether you enjoy working Most likely to come up Nonverbal reasoning/
to Take if… with numbers, to highlight in job applications for… diagrammatic tests
You want to study streams best suited to Engineering, merchandising, This tests your understanding
identify your passions your interests and strengths. computer programming, and problem-solving skills
My Next Move Educations.com/career-test analytical and financial roles, based on recognising visual
O* NET Interest Profiler and data-driven roles such as patterns in images. Recruiters
If you have no clue what You want to practise auditing and accounting. use this to assess your ability
you like and how that can for job applications to think logically and solve
be applied to getting the  Numerical reasoning Verbal reasoning problems expressed through
right career for you, this test These tests measure your Think of these as images – for example, by
is for you. Expect questions ability to use numerical comprehension quizzes determining what a 3D shape
focused on you: what you data to solve a problem, and that measure your skills in would look like if flattened to
love and your interests. may require you to perform reasoning based on words. 2D. These are often timed, so
Mynextmove.org/explore/ip calculations. Practising as They can include reading practice is crucial. Try Practise
many questions as possible a paragraph and answering Aptitude Tests’ 15-minute tests
You want to identify improves how you approach questions about the content at Practiceaptitudetests.com/
your skills areas tests and helps you complete (for example, determining diagrammatic-reasoning-tests
The Princeton Review them more quickly – helpful, whether a statement is true or the abstract reasoning test
Career Quiz since some job application or false). Try Job Test Prep’s at 123test.com.
This assesses your interests tests may be timed. Use a 30-minute test at Jobtestprep.
and skills against your ‘style’ calculator – most tests allow co.uk or Practice Aptitude Most likely to come up
– the types of strengths that this. Try Job Test Prep’s 30- Tests’ 15-minute tests at in job applications for…
you can bring to a work minute test at Jobtestprep. Practiceaptitudetests.com/ Management, consulting,
environment. Results are co.uk or Practice Aptitude verbal-reasoning-tests. engineering and finance.
based on understanding Tests’ 20-minute tests at
your key skills set for work: Practiceaptitudetests.com/ Most likely to come up Situational judgment
whether you fall into the numerical-reasoning-tests. in job applications for… This tests how you’d approach
expediting, communicating, Consulting posts, investment hypothetical scenarios that
planning or administrating banking, management, law, might take place at work (for
categories, and what this writing and teaching. example, ‘You’re running late
means for your future choices. for an important presentation
Princetonreview.com/ PSSST! – what do you do?’). For each
quiz/career-quiz situation, a number of possible
Always answer actions are suggested. Practise
You want to identify the questions via Jobtestprep.co.uk or
the industry for you honestly. Don’t try the 45-minute test at
Sokanu Practicereasoningtests.com/
Dubbed the ‘world’s
try to predict situational-judgement-tests.
best career test’, Sokanu’s what answers
30-minute test measures you think you Most likely to come up
your compatibility against in job applications for…

P H O T O G R A P H Y K E L L Y K N O X / S T O C K S Y, B O N N I N S T U D I O / S T O C K S Y
more than 500 career choices.
‘should’ be Consulting, medical care
It works by comparing your giving. and emergency services. ■
interests, personality, history,
workplace preferences and
goals to find jobs you’ll excel
in and find satisfying.
Sokanu.com (Sign in free
of charge to access the test.)
SCAN VIA
You want to find
out what to study
Want to
Educations.com take any of
This short personality quiz these tests?
will ask simple Qs, such as Scan here
to get started!
WORK

I’ve never spent a cent on


marketing. The best (and
worst) thing about social is
that it gives everyone a voice.
I didn’t even have a website
or a business card – clients
found me online.

Don’t worry
about followers.
The world is trying to figure
out the laws around social
media. If there is a relevant
case in Canada, I know about
it. I follow what’s happening
in court on my laptop; I can
Emma Sadleir, 34, is a social media lawyer, #COSMOHustle speaker share and build knowledge.
and founder of The Digital Law Company, an agency that helps you The best advice I got was to
protect yourself in the ever-expanding online world. She talks about be interesting. Don’t worry
about getting followers or
carving out a career in a changing digital space likes. Everyone will find
their tribe on social media.
Ten years ago,
social media You can be soft
didn’t even exist. and be successful.
Not knowing what’s next You think that in your career
is the biggest challenge of you have to be hard-core, but
a career in social media law. you can be soft and also be
Most people who study law successful. We’re still learning
like certainty and rules; I like that as women. I’d love to leave
to run my business by feel. Ten softness as a legacy – that we
years ago social media didn’t can be kind and understanding
exist; today it’s my business. [and still do well]. ■
You never know the direction
you’re going to head in, but
it’s about staying current. If EMMA’S CV
you think of social media as 2017 Coauthored Selfies,
a book, we’ve only just begun Sexts And Smartphones:
reading the table of contents. A Teenager’s Online
Survival Guide
PHOTOGRAPHY CHARLES JOHNSTONE COMPILED BY BUSANG SENNE

Social media has 2015 Coauthored the social


reframed freedom media section in the textbook
Communications Law
of expression.
2014 Coauthored Don’t
Social media is there for
Film Yourself Having Sex,
everyone to use. We’re able And Other Legal Advice
to publish content to many For The Age Of Social Media
people and, with that, the 2014 Started The Digital
rules have changed. Social With social media, there’s You don’t need to Law Company
media has reframed freedom no taking things back – spend on marketing. 2010-2011 Studied a master’s
of expression, defamation and that’s where the idea for ‘When I left law firm Webber in law at the London School
sexual property – these are The Digital Law Company Wentzel, people were worried of Economics
all part of the digi evolution. came in. We educate people about me. Many asked how 2008-2014 Worked in media
The same media laws I was before they fall victim to I was going to make money law for Webber Wentzel
2007 Graduated with an LLB
teaching journalists, I had publishing content they or get clients – but thankfully
from Wits University
to start teaching everyone. may regret. I have been busy ever since.

C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

115
iHere’s .
How I Paid
It Off in
Three
Years’

Ca e o a a
O e be
acco n b tt a d nt e
he h e o a a ces
w a ed o of co o .
e es o s e o e o e
ac o c a o o c oo
A S TO L D TO JA I M E WA D D I N GTO N
MONEY

‘The woman I spoke


to at the bank advised me
to get a revolving loan of
R31 000 and use that money
‘In 2013, I decided to move to pay off my credit card. I was so ashamed that I didn’t
back to South Africa. I had I took her at her word and tell my family or my friends.
five credit cards and £3 000 transferred all of my credit- I know now that there were
(about R52 000) of debt. My card debt into a revolving many options for me other
aunt (with whom I was living loan. Only after transferring than debt counselling. Don’t
in London) helped me pay off the money did I do a little get me wrong: debt review
my debt before I moved back research: I discovered the can be a life-saver – but it
home. You’d think this would revolving loan’s interest should be a last resort.
have taught me a lesson – but (22%) was higher than ‘The debt-review process
far from it. Back in Cape my credit card’s interest was introduced in 2007 with
Town, I was employed as an (21%). Three months later, the National Credit Act, and
accountant at a top firm, but I maxed out the loan and is intended to assist people
the salary was never enough. my credit card: I’d almost struggling with debt. It’s like
I thought that earning more doubled my debt to R77 400. being in debt rehab. You’re
would prevent me from ending I was angry at the woman assigned a debt counsellor
‘I was 23 when I got up in the same situation. But for suggesting this solution who works out how much
my first taste for easy the more I earned, the more to me – but the truth was you need to live on, then
money,’ says Oppermann. ‘It I spent. I was in such a debt fog that negotiates with your credit
was 2004, and I was working ‘After a few years, I’d bought I didn’t even bother to ask providers to reduce your
part-time as a nanny while a new car, had R3 400 in store- the questions I should have monthly minimal payments
finishing my business degree card debt and an overdraft asked about repayments and interest rates. Another
in London. I was earning of R10 000, and maxed out and interest. pro is that no legal action
£600 (about R10 500) a my credit card at R33 000. ‘In May 2015, I was can be taken against you
month, which didn’t get me You’re probably thinking, having sleepless nights while you’re undergoing
far. The friends I met were “An accountant is supposed about my debt. I needed debt counselling. However,
going out and travelling all to be good with numbers.” to do something drastic, the cons are that you have
the time, and seemed to have I’m not good with numbers: so I applied for debt review. a court order against your
no problem affording it all. I’d I’m great with numbers. But name and have zero access
never had a credit card before dealing with other people’s to credit during this process
but all my friends had one finances was different from ‘I’m not good – which makes finding
and told me how easy it was. dealing with my own. I could a place to live, getting a
So I went to a bank and was assess someone else’s situation, with numbers: phone contract or renting
offered a credit card on the determine what the problems a car nearly impossible. This
spot. “That’s it?” I thought. were and advise them what I’m great with is only lifted once the debt-
All I had to do was fill out a to do. My own finances review process is completed,
form. That’s how it all began. had nothing to do with
numbers. But which can take years.
‘No more FOMO! I used the numbers and everything dealing with ‘I thought the debt
card for travel, entertainment, to do with emotions. counsellor was going to
clothing. After three months, ‘Over time, I began to other people’s guide me, but they took me
I’d maxed it out – so I applied struggle to meet my payments. out of the equation. I wasn’t
for another one, and then I’d get my salary – and by finances was involved in the process of
another one. I know what the fifth of the month there learning to handle my debt.
you’re thinking – silly – but would be no money left in different from It didn’t help me get to the
all my friends were doing it. my account, so I’d go back root of my problem: my
We’d max out one, then pay into overdraft and use up
dealing with relationship with money.
the minimum payment with all of my credit to get by. Because the debt-review
another one. The interest on my credit
my own’ process wasn’t getting to
card was killing me – so the core of my issues with
I decided to go to the bank money, what I did next is
to try to find a solution. hardly surprising: I loaned
I wanted them to save me. R18000 from a friend.

C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

117
MONEY

More debt! While there’s called the Debt Snowball once it was paid off, I used enough money to quit my job
usually no interest when Method, made famous by the that amount (plus a bit extra) to become a money coach.
borrowing from friends author Dave Ramsey, where to pay off my next-smallest ‘Today, after three years,
and family, there’s always you pay off debts in a specific debt. It took me four months my debt of R95 400 is paid
emotional interest. I now order – smallest to largest. to pay off my store cards and off. I’m now a certified
owed a total of R95400 to A financial adviser once told overdraft (R13 400). money coach, and I have
friends, family and debtors. me it made sense to get rid I then moved on to the helped many people who
‘I wanted a better life for of bigger debt first because personal loan from my friend have fallen into the debt
myself – one of abundance, of the high interest rate, but (R18 000), which took me trap. I’ve discovered my
where I could create a legacy tackling the smallest first and eight months. From there, life’s purpose: to help people
and not be a liability to those paying it off is an emotional I cleared my revolving make a money change. Just
around me. That’s when my win. You gain momentum as loan (R31 000), which like any good relationship,
money transformation began each balance is paid off, which took a further 15 months; our relationship with money
– with the decision that I could motivates you to carry on. and finally, my credit card should be one of mutual
no longer wait for someone to ‘I made a list of my debts (R33 000) over seven months. respect and understanding.
rescue me. I had to save myself. and tackled them one by one. Over this time, I lost 40kg I now see money in a different
‘I cut up all my cards. After I started with store cards and and came clean with my light: not as my enemy but
a lot of research, I discovered overdraft. I set aside money family and friends about as a partner who supports
a debt-repayment strategy to pay that off every month; my debt – and I saved up me in my life journey.’

6 Steps to Getting Out of Debt


Crib Oppermann’s tips to help get your bank account back in the positive

1 Be honest
with yourself.
‘You may be
Prioritise what’s
important and eliminate
things that don’t add
2 Make minimum
payments on all
your debt except
Starting a bufer fund
will help you become
your own line of credit.
money, such as a
bonus or a tax refund,
don’t put it all into your
overwhelmed by the value to your life.’ the smallest. Set up a direct deposit debt. It sounds crazy,
amount of debt you 3 Pay as much as to deduct an amount of but it isn’t. Depriving
have, or afraid to see
exactly how much you
owe. The first step to
3 Create a strategy.
‘Remember when
I said you should list
possible on your
smallest debt.
4 Repeat until each
money from your salary
and move it to that
account with each pay
yourself of small
pleasures can make
you less likely to stick
change is awareness. your debt from smallest debt is paid in full. cycle (even if you start to bigger savings goals.
Face your debt. Stop to largest? It comes in with R100 per month).’ Put some into your debt
using more credit, and handy when you use the For example: (clear your past), some
make a commitment to
living a debt-free life.
Make a list of your debt,
Debt Snowball Method,
focusing on paying of
your smallest debt first
1 R3 000 store card
(R300 payment)
2 R20 000 credit card
5 Find a side
hustle.
‘This is a great way to
into your bufer fund
(prepare for the future)
and spend some of it
of what each interest and progressing to debt (R360 payment) give your account ad hoc on yourself (live in the
rate is, and the minimum higher amounts. If you 3 R80 000 car loan injections. Whatever your present). Putting money
repayment required of start with your largest (R1 500 payment) skills, there’s someone towards something that

P H OTO G R A P H Y DA N S A E L I N G E R / T R U N K A R C H I V E .C O M
each. Organise these debt, such as a student 4 R100 000 student on the Internet willing makes you happy will
from smallest to largest loan, you won’t see an loan (R11 500 payment) to pay for them – and make all the diference in
amount owed.’ efect for a while. When sites such as Fiverr.com becoming debt-free.’ ■

2 Go on a
spending diet.
you ditch small debt first,
you see progress and
get a confidence boost.
4 Create a
buffer fund.
‘Once you’ve figured
and Freelancer.co.za
will connect you with
these people. If you
‘List all your fixed
monthly bills (such
By the time you’re paying
of bigger debt, you
out how much money
you’ll need to pay of
can spare weekends,
you can become a
Win
one of 10 copies of
as rent and insurance), have so much more your debts, create a house- or pet-sitter Oppermann’s book,
then your discretionary cash freed up that it savings account that’s via sites such as The Money Code
spending (like groceries creates a debt snowball.’ devoted solely to that Occupied.co.za.’ And How To Crack It!
and entertainment). Give task. If you need money Head to Cosmopolitan.co.za
your budget a spring-
cleaning. Do you have
unnecessary expenses?
The Snowball
Method Breakdown
1 List your debt from
urgently (for example, to
replace your car battery)
you don’t want to resort
6 Treat
yourself.
‘When you receive your
or scan the QR code to take
the Money Quiz and enter.

Be strict with yourself. smallest to largest. to increasing your debt. salary or a lump sum of

C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8
SCAN VIA

118
1731
STOCKISTS
Girls’ Road Trip Time

Aldo 011 884 4141; 021 421 5674; 031 566 6535 H&M 021 826 7451; 0860 690 707 What if I lock my keys
Amber-Rose Hennings Hello Pretty www.hellopretty.co.za in the car? I should
www.amberrosehennings.com Legit www.legit.co.za
American Swiss 0860 576 576 Lipault www.lipault.co.za
et a spare, spare key.
Babette 021 424 4457 Louis Vuitton 011 784 9854; 021 405 9700
Call It Spring 011 784 1597; MRP 0800 212 535
021 551 1527; 031 584 7431 Nicci Boutiques www.nicci.co.za Keep that big
Calvin Klein 021 418 1185 Old Khaki www.oldkhaki.co.za
Charles & Keith 021 552 4912 Rocka 011 608 3633 water bottle. In case my
Cher Dreyer 071 162 8253 Scotch & Soda 021 418 1725 car overheats, or I find
Colette By Colette Hayman 021 551 7552 Shelflife 021 422 3931
Cotton On 011 784 0218; 021 552 0726 Steve Madden www.stevemadden.co.za a thirsty dog.
Dune London 011 685 7055; 021 529 1970 Tally Weijl www.tallyweijlsa.co.za
Europa Art Shoes www.europaart.co.za Tessa Design www.tessadesign.co.za
Folli Follie www.follifolliesa.co.za The Fix 0860 104 764
Forever 21 011 883 0025; 021 555 3324 The Lot www.ilovethelot.com
Forever New 011 883 4585; Topshop 011 685 7070;
021 419 4552; 031 265 0522 021 419 5900; 031 583 1333
Frasers 021 418 0718 Wantitall www.wantitall.co.za
G-Star Raw 011 784 0321; 021 418 9000 Woolworths 0860 022 002
Gavin Rajah 021 424 7842 Yuppiechef www.yuppiechef.com
Guess 011 883 8391; 021 421 0110; 031 566 3282 Zara 011 302 1500; 021 446 8700; 031 536 6440

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Fresh.
Sophisticated.
Timeless.
Charles Tanqueray was a pioneer in pursuit of the
world’s finest gin in 1830. That pioneering spirit led
to the creation of Tanqueray Nº TEN, a liquid that set
the standard as the first ultra-premium gin.
Tanqueray Nº TEN is distilled with Tanqueray’s four
trademark botanicals, plus fresh citrus and camomile
flowers, in Tiny Ten, the still from which the liquid gets its
name. Grapefruit and camomile are evident on the nose,
as is complex spice and juniper. The rounded palate is
incredibly smooth, considering Tanqueray Nº TEN’s heady
alcoholic strength. Juniper is integrated with freshly
squeezed lemon, orange and pink grapefruit juice, while
white pepper and coriander add spicy depth. All these
flavours continue through the long, almost creamy finish.
Don’t stop
beleafing:
you don’t
need a green
thumb for a
crib this lush.

We re
Digg ’
Pa ase
eco !
DECOR

POTHOS
Pretty Pot this bad boy
in a tall or hanging
Healthy Scene planter – its gorgeous
nsforming your home
leaves trail down over
ungle isn’t just good for
time. NBD if you’re
ots – it’s a boost for your
a crappy plant parent,
g. ‘Plants provide oxygen
says Carter: pothos
se humidity levels,’ says
plants can go several
nt stylist Hilton Carter
weeks without water
iltoncarter). That’s his
and only need low,
on the previous page!
i di t li ht t th i

BER FIG
bably one of
st popular house
Place yours in
but indirect light
ater it regularly.
sap is poisonous
plant is a no-
ou have a pet
d) who likes to

P H O T O G R A P H Y @ H I LT O N C A R T E R T E X T J E S S I C A G O O D M A N P R I C E S C O R R E C T A T T I M E O F G O I N G T O P R E S S S T O C K I S T S O N P A G E 1 1 9
n your greenery.

ucket
PRINT
lo Pretty

SUCCULENTS
‘Because they come in
funky variations, a gang
of succulents can change
the entire vibe of your
place,’ says Carter.
Arrange some near
bright light, and water
once a month. So easy!
Novelty succulents R51 each,
WOOLWORTHS g
can R379, BURGON
& BALL at Yuppiechef

C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

122
Beetroot
Fettuccine
Alfredo with
Basil Ricotta
1T olive oil
PHOTOGRAPHY CRISTINA HOLMES PUBLISHED BY CLARKSON POTTER/PUBLISHERS, AN IMPRINT OF PENGUIN RANDOM HOUSE LLC

1 onion, chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 450g pack silken tofu
85g roasted beetroot
½ cup water
1T lemon juice
2½ t sea salt
450g fettuccine,
cooked al dente
3 cups vegan ricotta
Ground black pepper
Fresh basil, chopped
Heat olive oil over
medium-high heat
in a frying pan. Add
onion, and cook for
5 to 7 minutes until
softened. Add garlic;
cook for another minute.
In a blender, combine
the onion mixture, tofu,
beetroot, water, lemon
juice and salt. Blend for
about 2 minutes (until
very smooth).
Toss fettuccine and
sauce together. Top with
ricotta, pepper and basil.
Adapted from Chloe Flavor:
Saucy, Crispy, Spicy, Vegan
by Chloe Coscarelli. γ

C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

123
Fashion Week
Every February and September, the Big Apple explodes with even
more energy than usual as the annual fashion shows take place.
To survive the crazy schedule, use these tips from fashion ed
Cleo Marcopoulos, who hit New York during February’s Fashion Week

Get Your
Beauty Sleep
@ Hotel Hugo
Since Fashion Week
typically takes place at
Spring Studios on Spring
Street, what better hotel
Grab a
to call home than Hotel Classic Bagel
Hugo, a five-minute Uber
ride away? Retro chairs
@ Nickel & Diner
to include in an #OOTD With turquoise booths
pic? Check. Sky bar for and marble counter tops,
post-show cocktails? Yup. the Nickel & Diner in the
Hotelhugony.com heart of Chinatown doesn’t
just ofer great food, but a
great spot for a photo op too.
Order the OG New York bagel
(the Salmon Lox) – or try the
awesome Eggs Benedict.
Nickelanddiner.com

C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

124
TRAVEL

Unwind with
a Cocktail
@ Bar Hugo
Said to be Hudson Square’s
hippest rooftop retreat, Bar
Hugo at Hotel Hugo ofers
views of the Hudson River
and Statue of Liberty. It’s
the perfect spot to unwind
(and post street-style snaps
from the day) while sipping
a Blood Orange Cosmo and
listening to the DJ’s beats.

Smell
the Coffee 3 6
@ Happy Bones
The need for a cafeine fix
is real during the long days
(and nights) that come with
Fashion Week. Happy Bones Mingle with
is so tiny you may miss it
– but the almond cortado
Fashionistas
is a cuppa you have to try. @ PUBLIC
Happybonesnyc.com
Hotel
If you want to rub
shoulders with style
Reboot Tired stars such as Ashley
Skin @ Glossier’s Olsen and Adwoa Aboah,
Showroom PUBLIC Hotel is the spot.
Ian Schrager, co-founder
New York’s dry winter air can of the iconic Studio 54,
leave skin dull – which gives you opened this hot spot
a great excuse to visit the world’s (known for its neon-lit
first (and only) Glossier showroom. escalators and communal
Founded by ‘Into the Gloss’ blogger restaurant tables) in 2017.
Emily Weiss in 2014, the store is Grab a bite to eat at Jean-
a combo of Millennial-pink walls, Georges Vongerichten’s
slogan-embossed mirrors and restaurant, a glass of vino
super-helpful sales assistants in at the sky bar, or an after-
pink mechanic-style jumpsuits. hours dance at the hotel’s
It’s the perfect environment in underground club.
which to browse the ‘skin first, Publichotels.com
makeup second’ products.
Glossier.com

C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

125
TRAVEL

New York
Travel Tips
No-one warns you
n
just how much you
have to walk – but
there’s a reason most
New Yorkers carry flats
in their handbag. Do
the same, or wear your
fave workhorse shoes.
Battery packs are
essential, especially
during Fashion Week.
Pack ‘outfits’ rather The Puffer Jacket
‘It’s your New York-
than individual pieces,
winter BFF. Style it with
so you don’t waste time a belt, and take one side
Buy deciding what to wear. of the shoulder. I used
Roll your clothes. a shoelace to belt mine!’
Something This will save space
to Smell Fab and prevent creases.
in the Frow Get a SIM card once
you land, so you can
@ Le Labo Indulge in post pics and google
Smell your best for all the
air kisses thanks to Le Labo
Retail Therapy addresses easily.
Research and plan
a luxury perfume brand @ SoHo your days to pack in
founded in 2006, which Inspired by all the looks as much as possible.
The Plaid Coat
has boutiques in SoHo, being served up at Fashion Use Google Maps to ‘Plaid was all over the
Nolita and on the Upper Week? Hit the SoHo streets plot must-visit spots. runways. A statement
East Side. Hand-mixed for New York-based retailers Categorise them and piece in this print pairs
fragrances (Le Labo means such as Bloomingdale’s and save them ofline – the best with black.’
‘the lab’) and personalised Opening Ceremony – and app will show you how
labels make this a must-visi probably the largest Nike many places you can see
Lelabofragrances.com store you’ve ever seen. when you’re near them.

Get a Bird’s-Eye The Boiler Suit


View of the City ‘Jumpsuits are
great for layering.
@ Top of the Rock Juxtapose their
utilitarian feel with
Need a breather from New York’s a luxe accessory –
frenetic pace? Head to the top of try a bracelet bag.’
the Rockefeller Center for magical
views of the city. It’s cold up there,
P H OTO G R A P H Y N I Q U I TA B E N TO, I N STAG R A M

so take gloves – but the 360-degree


panorama is unbeatable. Hot tip:
get your tickets online to avoid

9
waiting in long queues.
Topoftherocknyc.com
Decompress
@ HigherDOSE
Said to be fashion designer Sally LaPointe’s fave,
HigherDOSE spa uses tech to make you feel so
good. The infrared saunas are said to penetrate
skin more deeply than traditional ones!
Higherdose.com ■
GEMINI CANCER
orosco es
LEO VIRGO LIBRA SCORPIO SAGITTARIUS
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BIRTHSTONE the places you
Born in June?
go together.
The chic white
pearl is your
birthstone
GEMINI GAL
– an ancient Lucy Hale
symbol of purity 14/06
and love.
QUIZ

1 You have a
presentation
and can’t find
your notes. You: 4 Family
A Have a 2007-Britney gathering! You
breakdown and empty know Gran’s
out every desk drawer about to drill
until you find them.
you with all those
B Wing it, but internally annoying life
freak that your boss questions. You:
was side-eyeing you
the whole time. A Power up your
PowerPoint presentation
C Presentation? You just of life updates so you’re
got sucked into planning not hit with any curve balls.
tonight’s happy hour.
B Wear your mouth
2 If you had to guard so you don’t shave
off your enamel from
choose one emoji tension-grinding.
to describe your C Drink all the wine.
baseline state, Fall asleep under a table.
it would be:
A 5 Your roommate
hasn’t done her


B
C
dishes in more
than a week and
your Tinder match
3 You’re waiting is coming over for
for your bestie at
dinner. With an
a party where you
hour left, you:
know no-one else.
How do you pass A Cancel, then sob
atop the dirty kitchen
the time? counter because he was,
A You lock yourself in the like, definitely The One.
bathroom until your BFF

P H O T O G R A P H Y K A T B O R C H A R T / T H E L I C E N S I N G P R O J E C T. C O M C O M P I L E D B Y D A N I E L L E K A M
B Passive-aggressively
texts that she has arrived.
clean up while saying
B You find the nearest ‘It’s fine!’ in a high-
pet and have a one-sided pitched voice when
conversation with Sparky. she apologises.
C You hang solo and C Leave it. Realistically,
scan the crowd… Ooh, you won’t be doing
are those pretzels? much eating anyway…
THE BREAKDOWN

M O ST LY A s M O ST LY B s M O ST LY C s
Angst Level 100 Silent but Stewing Way Too Chill
You need to take a deep breath. You have a decent handle on stress A carefree life rocks, but a little
It’s okay to be overwhelmed, but pick – except you keep it all to yourself. cortisol never hurt anyone. Your
your battles. Classifying tense sitches It’s cool that you don’t want to dump lack of effs may come across as not
as ‘worth it’/’not worth it’ can manage anxiety on others, but internalising giving a single eff. And that might
the madness. (For example, replying can be unhealthy. It’s normal to offend those close to you. Getting
to a pal’s text should rank lower than complain to your squad. Try confiding fired up about important matters
answering a high-priority work e-mail.) in them to prevent self-implosion. could improve your relationships. γ

C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O . Z A | J U N E 2 0 1 8

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