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Christavelle Alvarez

Sarah Wilhoit

ENG 109 H

6 December 2018

Reflection Essay

Revising an essay is typically the hardest part of the writing process as you find deleting

phrases or paragraph difficult. However, revising the essay over time allows you to proofread the

paper with an open mind. My Text-in-Context Essay has a clear and arguable thesis statement

that is backed with substantial evidence. Although I had good feedback from my professor and

peers, there were a few errors with the essay. I revised syntax to make my argument clearer,

improved my MLA format, and added several sentences to transition in between the Panopticon

and The Hunger Games smoothly. These revisions allow me to make my argument more clear

and flow.

Syntax was the biggest mistake that occurred throughout the paper. Due to these errors

the clarity of my argument was diminished. For example, a sentence on the second page

states,“The first day is the Tribute parade, then compulsory skills and finally individual skills.”

This sentence is confusing because it lacks explanation as to what each day is. By changing the

sentence to “ The three events are the Tribute parade, compulsory skills and individual skills;

with each tribute being self conscious of their actions they are able to perform well and gain

sponsors.” Rearranging sentences and adding phrases makes the sentence more clear because it

explains what the three events are and why it is important to the tributes. In addition to syntax,
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the transition between the Panopticon and The Hunger Games needed improvement in order to

make my essay flow.

Adding proper transition sentences are essential as they allow prepare the reader’s mind

for a change in topic. To illustrate the sentence on the fourth page states, “ This slightly applies

to Foucault's Panopticon because the citizens in that system have to be aware of their actions by

self awareness. However, in Foucault’s texts the idea of rebellion isn’t present in the system

because it enables a significant amount of fear.” I use the transition word “however” which was

inappropriate in this context because the same text is being spoken about. Changing the sentence

to “This applies to Foucault’s idea of the Panopticon; however, the idea of rebellion in the

Panopticon isn’t present in the system because it enables a significant amount of fear.” This

allows the next sentence to change subjects because it compares the Panopticon and ​The Hunger

Games​ by adding in a transition phrase “ In comparison to . . .” Adding and deleting sentences

contribute to the overall clarity of the essay. The MLA format does not affect the clarity of the

paper but does affect the writer's credibility.

Making sure the paper is read through multiple times is important because it allows

simple mistakes to be caught. When a writer makes simple mistakes it portrays them as an

unreliable source. The Work Cite page was formatted incorrectly because it was a quarter of the

way down. To fix this issue I moved the title to the very top of the page. My work cite page also

had errors with the citations. For example “Ross, Gary, director. The Hunger Games. Lions

Gate., 2012.” is suppose to be “​The Hunger Games​. Dir. Gary Ross. Perf. Jennifer Lawrence,

Liam Hemsworth, Josh Hutcherson, Elizabeth Banks, and Stanley Tucci. Lionsgate Films, 2013.

Blu Ray.”
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What I learned about my writing process this semester is that I tend to spend most of my

time on the outline rather than correcting the rough draft. I found this to be a strength and a

weakness of mine because my arguments and reasons were almost always well organized.

However, when it came to fixing grammatical and formatting mistakes I would miss it because I

did not spend enough time editing. In this class peer workshopping did not help because

everyone's view were drastically different and editing more than two people’s papers was

difficult. For the Text-in-Context essay I found it beneficial to meet with my professor one on

one because I was able to fix my paper to the way she wanted and had individual feedback. What

I learned this semester, especially during the conference sessions, was that I need to add

transition sentences to make my paper flow better. To elaborate, I lacked transitions sentences

and was told by my professor to add a sentence at the end that links the current and the next

topic.

Another way I was able to help myself was to write the reflection journals. To explain,

during Unit one I found myself understanding the text more especially the Journal about Isaac

Asimov (4). In that Journal I spoke about the themes and the most important parts of the text.

This was most beneficial to me because I was able to analyze the text in a short amount of time.

The most beneficial part of the journals is that it helps with difficult texts like The Call of

Cthulhu. In that Journal I mostly spoke about what each element could mean. This is helpful

because in class I was able to hear about other people’s ideas and hear what the text meant.

At the beginning of the semester I thought that the course theme “Vision of the Future”

had to be about technology. As the semester went on I soon discovered that the future could be

anything. My Research Proposal is a clear example of what I chose for my vision of the future
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because I talk about how plastic surgery in Asia is affecting their beauty standards. This course

has taught me alot about my writing process and what I need to work on as a writer.