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And as an author of fiction, you need to communicate clearly without sacrificing creativity in
your writing. This can be challenging because what you as the author believe to be clear is not
always perceived as such by the readers. In Style: Lessons in Clarity and Grace, Williams and
Bizup point out that “clarity is not a property of sentences but an impression of readers” (35).
Considering the readers’ impression of clarity is important because, as John R. Trimble remarks
in Writing with Style, “A prose style may be eloquent, lyrical, witty, [and] rhythmical, . . .but if it
lacks clarity, few readers will stay with it for long” (8). So then the question becomes, what
principles of writing help readers perceive your writing as clear? Here are five specific principles
that you can apply to your writing to make it clearer without sacrificing creativity.
These suggestions are adapted from Williams and Bizup’s Style: Lessons in Clarity and
Grace, and the data comes from a study I performed in October 2018, which surveyed
participants for their impressions of clarity in passages from J. K. Rowling’s Harry Potter and
Reaching the main verb quickly is important to readers because it allows them to identify
what is happening in a sentence. You can get to the main verb quickly by avoiding long
Long introductory phrases, although often used for creative descriptions, can be
problematic because readers must remember all previous information before they even encounter
the subject and verb. Williams and Bizup suggest moving such phrases to the end of the sentence
to aid in clarity.
Interrupting the subject-verb connection poses a problem for readers because it “forces us
to hold our mental breath until we reach the verb” (Williams and Bizup 142). This interruption
can be moved to the beginning or the end of the sentence to make the relationship between the
When I applied these principles in my study, 74.42% of participants indicated that the
passage that maintained a close subject-verb connection was clearer than the passage that
reversed this principle. Participants commented that the reversed passages were hard to follow or
didn’t flow well. Getting to the main verb quickly can help the passage flow and help readers
“Old-New” Presentation
Using the “old-new” method for presenting information is the best way to ensure that
readers think your writing is clear, according to my research. The results showed that 95.29% of
participants thought the passage that followed this principle was clearer than the passage that
broke it. This overwhelming majority indicates just how essential sentence cohesion (how one
sentence ends and the next begins) is to clarity in writing. Clearly, readers recognize when
information in a narrative does not follow the “old-new” principle and prefer this presentation for
clarity.
writing. Begin sentences with information that is familiar, or old, to your readers. This old
information is typically the new information from the end of the previous sentence. End
sentences with information that is unfamiliar, or new, to your readers. Doing so links your
principle, the sentences often felt passive, even when they were grammatically active. If you are
struggling with the old-new principle, look for passive sentences and revise them to be in active
voice. Usually, this will place your subject, which is often already familiar to readers, in the
This is kind of an adaptable principle. You see, the results of my survey actually showed
an almost 50/50 split between passages that applied and reversed this principle of using
affirmative phrases. The main idea behind this principle is that readers have an easier time
understanding affirmative constructions over negative constructions. Williams and Bizup suggest
revising phrases like not different to the same and not careful to careless (126). Their suggestion
is applicable in some circumstances, like when you need to be more concise in your writing or
the phrase contains many negatives that could be misunderstood. However, the comments on my
survey suggested that when it comes to using this principle in creative fiction, word choice is the
more important factor. It doesn’t matter to readers if the construction is affirmative or negative;
readers care about how the word choice makes them feel.
So while Williams and Bizup advise revising your negative constructions to affirmative
ones, I recommend doing so only when it benefits your purpose and tone, seeing as my survey
indicated that affirmative phrases are less a matter of clarity and more a matter of word
preference.
Using subjects to name characters is a really simple practice that will help your readers
clearly understand your writing. The main characters who are doing the actions should be
identified as “simple subjects,” instead of “abstractions” (Williams and Bizup 47). Williams and
Bizup suggest that you simply identify who is doing the action and ensure that the character is a
simple subject, rather than an absent character or an abstraction, which sometimes occurs as a
nominalization. Nominalizations, or nouns that are derived from other parts of speech, can
almost always be rephrased in a way that allows readers to quickly and clearly determine the
actor within a sentence. Additionally, characters should be inserted when you find that they are
When subjects were used to name characters, 75% of participants in my study indicated
that the passage without nominalizations was clearer than the passage that used abstractions or
absent characters. Additionally, 80% of participants preferred the passage with the simple or
present character. Using simple and present characters in your sentences will help readers think
In direct connection with using subjects to name characters is the principle of using verbs
to name actions. The two go hand in hand each time because the simplest and clearest way to
present a sentence is by making sure that the character who does the action is the subject who
does the verb. So after you have identified the subject and ensured it is a present and simple
noun, you need to look at the action and ensure it is a verb, not a nominalization. After any
necessary revisions, put the subject and the verb in proximity to each other and voilà! you have a
clear sentence.
According to my survey, 69.77% of participants identified the passage that used verbs to
name actions as being clearer. Readers are more tolerant of nominalizations because the action is
implied within the nominalization. However, a passive feel often accompanies nominalizations,
even if the construction itself is not passive. Avoiding nominalizations can help your passages
Conclusion
The mark of good fiction writing is knowing when to break the rules for a good purpose.
Your readers may get tired of your writing, no matter how clear it is, if your sentences come
across as formulaic. As important as it is for you to understand and apply these principles, you
should also understand that you can break these principles when it better serves your story or
purpose. If you want to add some mystery to a sentence, reverse the old-new principle. If one
character is intentionally being verbose and confusing, add in few nominalizations. If you need
If you artfully apply these five principles to your writing, you will find that your readers
more easily understand it and perceive it as being clear. When readers feel that your writing is
clear, they will stick with it and keep reading, fully appreciating the fictional reality you have
created for them to enjoy. For a more in-depth analysis of these principles, I recommend
Williams and Bizup’s, Style: Lessons in Clarity and Grace, which I referenced several times
herein and in my study on clarity in writing. For the full report on that study, visit my website,
courtneylarkinediting.weebly.com/writing-2.html.
Reference List
Trimble, John R. 2000. Writing with Style: Conversations on the Art of Writing. Upper Saddle
River, NJ: Prentice Hall.
Williams, Joseph M., and Joseph Bizup. 2017. Style: Lessons in Clarity and Grace. 12th ed. New
York: Pearson Education.