Faiza Jamil

07-22-09
Research Paper

Pakistani Culture vs. Women and Islam

Pakistani culture has been unable to advance in regard to freedom for women.

Freedom is defined as having personal choice in each matter. However, women in

Pakistan are still not allowed to have much freedom. They are abused and tortured in

some cases. People often wonder why woman are treated so badly in Pakistan. It is

because there is a common misconception of religion. Islam, which is the major religion

of Pakistan, does not oppress women but gives them many rights. Overall, Pakistan is a

male dominant society. One of the reasons Pakistan is not growing is because it is

oppressing the women in its country. Since the culture is male dominant, it needs to move

forward and acknowledge women’s rights according to Islam.

One of the major setbacks for women in Pakistan is that they do not have freedom

over themselves. They are controlled by the laws made by their fathers and husbands.

“The society is commonly vied as patriarchal” (Malik 127). Women are not allowed to

work or live separately. When a girl is young, she is not allowed to go out by herself. A

young woman is always accompanied by one of her family members. However, males are

free to come and go whenever they wish. These are hypocritical acts which should be

modified.

Another thing that encourages parents to allow their sons to have more freedom

is that they value their sons more than their daughters. Sons are considered to be strong

and the breadwinners of the house. A son will bring in an income, whereas, a daughter
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will only be a burden. A son will go out and bring in money and food. He is the sole care

taker of his parents. In Pakistan there is no such thing as a nursing home. Parents raise

their sons, and the sons will take care of and live with their parents until they die. Sons

will carry the burden of taking care of the entire household. “In the absence of a welfare

state, parents’ prefer to invest more on a son’s education as if their old age social security

is attached with better economic ability of their sons” (Khalid 31). Even if a son is

married, he usually doesn’t move out to live with his wife. This is why parents are

willing to invest more in a son’s future, rather than in their daughters. A daughter is just

another mouth to feed; she will just get married off when she is the right age.

Marriage is a sacred thing in Islam and Pakistan, but women don’t have the right

to marry who they want. When a woman is mature, which is usually at the age she gets

her period, her parents begin looking for a suitable match. She is taught many things that

are believed to be essential for being a housewife. She is taught the proper etiquette in

dealing with her mother-in-law and husband, which is submissiveness. She is also taught

to cook and clean for the entire household. Also she is taught to sew and care for babies.

If the parents of a girl are not looking for a match, usually society and family members

put a lot of pressure on them.

When a suitable match for the girl is found, she is not asked if she wants to get

married to the man. Her parents just find out information about the man. In some cases

parents who are poor forego this and find a blind match for their daughters. However, this

is wrong because Islam gives women the right to meet the men they are going to marry.

Women are given rights by Islam to talk with the men to get to know them better. If they

find that there is something lacking, women can even deny to get married to that man.
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Since Pakistan is a male dominant society, many women are unable to go to

school. Women are not allowed to get a proper education because males believe their

wives and daughters will become independent and corrupt. Overall women are less

educated than men in Pakistan. The Unite for Children, UNICEF, website shows these

statistics, “Adult literacy rate: females as a % of males, 2000–2007: 59%” (UNICEF).

Independence in women is considered a shocking thing by the rules of society

and men. Males also fear that their wives and daughters will not be submissive because of

education. Yet, being submissive is the major role of a wife. After women are married,

usually the husbands don’t allow their wives to go to continue their education. This is

because they are afraid their wives will outsmart them, and try to implement new

“western” ideas into their lives. Dr. Humala Khalid and Dr. Eshya Mujahid-Mukhtar,

researchers for United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization

(UNESCO), state that:

Women suffer from a low status in society. Women participating in

income generating activities in the formal sector are usually considered to
neglect their husbands, children and other domestic responsibilities.
Misconceptions about women’s education in Islam are common, though
changing. Marriage of girls is considered the main responsibility of
parents, and as such preparing and saving for dowry are common social
norms. The aspirations, achievements and performance of women/girls are
usually responsive to the stereotyped expectations of their families and
socio/cultural settings. For example, stress on daughters’ roles, as mothers
and housekeepers is common. (31)

Another reason why women are not allowed to go to school is because men

themselves are not educated. However, the education they lack is the one of their

religion. They believe that Islam does not allow for women to receive an education, but

that is not true. Also because of their weak role in society, women are not allowed to

work. They are denied this chance because Pakistani men believe that women should stay
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at home. They believe that in Islam women are not allowed to leave the house. Islam

gives women equal rights to men. In fact, Islam strongly encourages education for all

because education diminishes ignorance and unawareness.

Men are taught many things by their mothers, which also leads to woman being

held back. This means that mothers can influence their sons by teaching them to have

open minds. They should teach them about equality between males and females.

However, mothers don’t do this. Many older Pakistani women teach their sons exactly

what was taught to their husbands and brothers. They teach them that their wives are

inferior to them. Mothers encourage their sons not to let their wives have any freedom

otherwise they will not be in control. These mothers are corrupting their sons’ minds

even before they are married. Mothers do not try to change the mentality of their sons at

all. Mother-in-laws should consider the fact that their daughters could be treated cruelly

also, maybe this fact would help them change this mindset.

In the very poor and uneducated parts of Pakistan women are even beaten terribly.

They are beaten because they are defiant. Women in these areas work from dawn to dusk.

They clean, they cook for an entire family, they hand wash all the clothes, take care of

their children and of in-laws, and countless other things. Yet, they are still expected to go

on daily with these hardships. In extreme cases when a woman is not obedient to her

mother-in-law or husband she will be tortured and burned with acid, or even worse, she

will be killed. This is the case for some of the unfortunate women who live in rural areas:

In patriarchal societies like Pakistan socialization processes of girls and

boys differ greatly. Boys are looked after and fed better, as compared to
girls (UNICEF, 1993). Girls are taught not to disagree, stay modest and
submissive in their behavior. Movement of girls is usually restricted
especially as they grow whereas boys’ are encouraged to be assertive and
are usually assigned outdoor duties. The usual explanation is that after
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marriages girls have to do domestic work and look after the in-
laws/husbands and children. They need to be trained in a way so that they
do not face difficulties in adjusting to their married life. (32)
Islam is a religion that encourages peace and love. The first women to accept

Islam, Khadijah, was a business woman. She ran her business in accordance with Islam

and she was very religious. So when men tell their wives not to work, it is because of

cultural and personal injustice. In Islam the Prophet Muhammad is a role model for all

Muslims. He is also the one who brought Islam and The Holy Quran to the Muslim

people. One of the Prophet’s wives was Aisha, and she was a very knowledgeable

woman. She was very educated and gave advice to men and women after her husband

died. Prophet Muhammad was also very kind to his wife and said to his people that “The

best among you is the one who is the kindest to his wife.”

The Quran does not say anywhere that women are inferior to men. In the Quran it

clearly states that “Men are overseers over women because… men are required to spend

their wealth for the maintenance of women” (English 192). Meaning that whatever men

have they are required to share with their wives; that they are supposed to care for and

protect them. Islam doesn’t allow men to beat down on their wives. “O believers! It is not

lawful for you to consider women as a part of your inheritance and retain them against

their will in order that you may force them… Treat them with kindness even if you

dislike them” (English 189). Yet, still men ignore this and abuse their wives.

Another major issue that Islam clearly gets rid of is the role of mother-in-laws.

Mother-in-laws in Pakistan think that they have a divine right over their sons’ wives, and

the son’s wife is there to serve her. However in the Hadees, which is a compilation of the

sayings and doings of the Prophet Muhammad, it is clearly stated that a women has no

obligation to her mother-in-law. “The husband should make the necessary arrangements
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for the household and the family, otherwise the wife is not responsible for housekeeping,

cooking, cleaning etc” (“Relations”). However, when and if she does any of these things

she will be rewarded on the Day of Judgment according to the Quran and Hadees.

In conclusion, there are many things holding women back. However, if

men and women learned more about their culture and their religion, they could bring

forth a tremendous change. Mothers should encourage their young boys to respect and

treat women equally. Girls and boys should be taught about Islam and the rights of men

and women so as they grow up they are not ignorant. This will help the future generations

change their mentality. Also parents should realize that daughters can be breadwinners

too, plus they can also support parents when there is no son to help out. Women are the

ones who make future generations, if women are happy then they have the ability to

spread this happiness too. Islam does not limit its people, so Pakistani men should stop

using that as an excuse to beat on their wives. Instead men should encourage their wives

so that women can have more rights and freedom. Then Pakistani culture and Islam

would work hand in hand to make a better future for everyone.