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365
WAYS TO BE STRONGER, CALMER, RICHER IN2019
 RADO.COM

OFFICIAL TIMEKEEPER
 CONTENTS 01.19

90
Find out how daredevil
climber Alex Honnold
subdues fear and
conquers challenges
that defy belief.

COVER GUY:
HENDRIK HOOGENBOEZEM

PHOTOGRAPHED BY
GARETH BARCLAY
PHOTOGRAPH: JIMMY CHIN

6 menshealth.com.au
 INSIDE THIS ISSUE

HE A LTH

p28 Fat-Gut Alert

Discover the perils of visceral fat to
slash your risk of serious illness.

p84 The Troll Hunter

Our writer renounces digital bile to

50
Are You Ready for a Sexcation?
become a force for cyber civility.
Spice up your relationship by picking the
hottest destinations for your next getaway.

FITNESS

p26 Fire When Ready

See how paceman Pat Cummins
trains for speed and durability.

p30 Fix Back Pain

Master the one move to soothe
your spine and up your mobility.

NUT R I TI ON

p80 Get Fresh

Fill your trolley with cookbook
authors’ best picks for summer.

p124 Spain and Gains

Dodge the urge for a post-lunch si-
esta with this perfect paella refuel.

MI ND

p33 The Therapy Puzzle

76
Your Red-Hot Summer of Fitness Find out how you could benefit
Take your workouts outdoors to build a from a session on the couch.
body that leaves others in the shade.
p42 The Happiness Quiz
Chances are you only think you
know what you want. Switch paths
for lasting contentment.

MUSCLE

p120 Build Your War Chest

Get pecs of steel with this coven-
tion-defying upper-body plan.

p128 Superman Push-up

Take flight like the Man of Steel
with this gravity-defying move.

38 96
The Health Snob’s Guide to American BBQ Blindsided
Upgrade from snags and infuse your meat Three men knocked on their arse by life
with the smoky flavours of the Deep South. show you how to pick yourself up.

January 2019 7
 E D I T O R’S L E T T E R
Men's Health Magazine Australia @MensHealthAU @MensHealthAU menshealth.com.au

POSITIVE OSMOSIS
When I arrived at Men’s Health in 2008, I thought I’d stick
around for a year or so. The magazine, I figured, would be a
stopgap – the stepping stone to a better job.
So I was way off the mark (again). Now that I’m leaving,
what I’ve since come to realise is that Men’s Health was
actually the stepping stone to a better life.
Today, I’m certainly fitter and healthier than I was 10
years ago. I’m more confident at work, I’m a fully engaged
father and my hangovers are both rarer and less traumatic.
Now I’d love to say all this was down to my good
intentions and relentless quest for self-improvement. But
that simply wouldn’t be true.
What’s really happened is that just being immersed in the
MH universe has rubbed off on me. Trust me, I’ve still got a
hell of a lot to work on, but this brand has infiltrated my life
for the better. And if it can work for a cynical journo like me
then, who knows – maybe there’s something in it for you, too.
What Men’s Health offers is a friendly nudge to take
control of your mental and physical wellbeing. Sure, you’ll
get a drip-feed of expert tips to empower you in every
area of life from the boardroom to the bedroom. But more
importantly, you’ll also get a jolt of inspiration to try and
raise your game.
Personally, I’ve found that to be a genuinely helpful
influence. It’s pushed me out of my comfort zone and
encouraged me to try and become happier, healthier and
more complete. As I wave goodbye, I’m extremely grateful
for that. So thanks for having me. I’ve had an absolute blast.

Luke Benedictus
Twitter: @LukeBenedictus
menshealth@pacificmags.com.au

THIS EDITOR’S LIFE:

RUBBING SHOULDERS
WITH CINDY, BUDDY
AND BECKS.

8 menshealth.com.au
Over 1,500 exercises,
workouts and training plans
Ideal for any fitness level
Download now for free!

Your Reliable Training Partner.

The Men’s Health Personal Trainer App.
Search for Men’s Health Fitness Trainer in your favourite app store

THE BIG QUESTION
Is it possible to eat
too much protein?
As the macro of the moment and
so-called building block of muscle,
protein is fetishised as much by
supermarket giants as it is by
pneumatic gym bros. While devouring
a whole chicken in one sitting has long
won you kudos in some circles, now
WORDS: MICHAEL JENNINGS; PHOTOGRAPHY: MICHAEL HEDGE
you’re being exhorted to chow down
on protein-enriched ice creams and
cereals. Sadly, it is possible to have
too much of a good thing.
According to a consensus of
nutritional authorities, you need 0.75g
of protein for each kilogram of your
bodyweight, so an 80kg man requires
around 60g a day – roughly three
salmon fillets. But the greater the
physical stress placed on your body,
the higher its demands. For a man of
ASK MH
SK
YOU NEEDN’T PLATE UP
EXTRA PROTEIN TO
MAINTAIN MUSCLE.
the same size who trains hard, the
International Society of Sports CRUNCHING NUMBERS
Nutrition recommends 112g per day. Unsure what those grams
Exceed this, however, and the benefits look like in practice?
are soon negated. One study found This is how they stack up
those who ate more than 1.62g of
protein per kilo of weight (around 130g, FOR AN ACTIVE 70KG MAN
or two juicy steaks) built no more
muscle than more moderate diners.
98g =
THREE CHICKEN BREAST FILLETS
Shakes, steaks and (fortified) ice
creams all have their time and place, of FOR AN ACTIVE 80KG MAN
course. But if you’re eating three well-
balanced meals a day, you’re unlikely to 112g =
fall short. It might even end up where FOUR CANS OF TUNA CHUNKS
you don’t want it. “Your body struggles
to digest excess protein,” says FOR AN ACTIVE 90KG MAN
nutritionist Rhiannon Lambert. “It may
simply wind up being stored as fat.” In
126g =
SEVEN BURGER PATTIES
a nutshell, don’t over-egg it.
January 2019 11
 ASK MH

STEER CLEAR OF THE

BENCH TO UNLOCK
EXTRA REPAIR.

LUKE BENEDICTUS Editor

BEN JHOTY Deputy Editor
DANIEL WILLIAMS Associate Editor
DAVID ASHFORD Creative Director
JASON LEE Deputy Art Director
KATE FRASER Head Of Pictures – Fashion and Health
K
ALEX DALRYMPLE Multimedia Content Producer
CH
HARLOTTE DALZIEL Digital Content Manager – Health
SCOTT HENDERSON Associate Digital Editor
ALEX PIEROTTI Digital Content Editor
DOES IT WORK? CHIEF BRABON Fitness Director
JEFF LACK Style Editor

What exactly is KATE NIVEN Grooming Writer

a “deload week”,
and should I CLLARISSA WILSON KATHY GLAVAS
be trying to Head of Health
JESS LAY
Marketing Director – Health
COURTENAY RAMAN

factor one in? AD Brand Partnerships Manager

CATH
HERINE CHOMYONG
Marketing Manager – Health
ELLIE FLETCHER
Marketing Coordinator – Health
Brand Manager
A bit tired, are we? We don’t blame PAUL KING
KAYLA CHAPMAN Production Manager
you. All that effort to achieve a Brand Executive –
summer body can take it out of Fashion & Health SAM MAGUIRE
Print Operations Coordinator
a man. And, with the delights of CALVIN SIMPSON
Advertising Coordinator – JEREMY SUTTON
summer there to be embraced, Beauty, Fashion & Health Group Subscriptions Manager
this might be the right time to ease
your foot off the pedal. GEREURD ROBERTS Chief Executive Officer, Pacific Magazines
“Deloading” involves reducing the
volume and intensity of your training
REST EASY
A deload isn’t an excuse
MYCHELLE VANDERBURG Retail Sales and Group Marketing Director
NICOLE BENCE Commercial Strategy & Solutions Director
to support repair and recovery. DEAN PORTER Operations Director
to be lazy. Follow Pepys’s
“Without proper rest, your body’s steps to earn results from
ability to produce force becomes your repose
inhibited and you’ll stop seeing
results,” says strength and DROP DOWN RICHARD DORMENT KIM ST. CLAIR BODDEN
conditioning coach Sam Pepys. Even Take 50 per cent
Editor in Chief,
off the loads and SVP/Editorial
if your muscles feel fine, heavy lifting volumes that you’d Men’s Health US & Brand Director
usually lift during a
takes its toll on your central nervous standard week. SIMON HORNE CHLOE O’BRIEN
system (CNS), responsible for SVP/Managing Director Deputy Brands Director
multiple functions within your body. TAKE IT EASY Asia Pacific & Russia SHELLEY MEEKS
If your CNS is fried, you’ll struggle to Ditch high-intensity RICHARD BEAN Executive Director,
training for steady- Director of International Licensing Content Services
muster energy in your day-to-day life. state cardio, aiming and Business Development
for 70 per cent of
Schedule a deload every fifth your max HR.
week, factoring in upcoming parties:
“Combining boozy late nights with TRY NEW THINGS Pacific Magazines, Media City,
strenuous training is a sure path to Use this week as
an opportunity to
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publication may be reproduced in whole or in part without prior written permission. Men’s Health
is a registered trademark and the unauthorised use of this trademark is strictly prohibited.

12 menshealth.com.au
GET HIGH
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WHEN IT COMES TO MILK, the

merry-go-round of the wellness
zeitgeist just keeps spinning. But
GIVE YOUR SHAKE while the likes of almond and oat
AN UPDATE FOR WILD
RESULTS IN THE GYM.
milks are respectable, vegan-
friendly alternatives, much of
their benefits come from being
fortified with vitamins and
minerals. Dairy, however, is
brimming with both and delivers
more protein and healthy fats
with every swig. For nutrition
(and, let’s be honest, flavour),
we’ve always believed in sticking
with the herd. Until now.
According to a new rodent
study*, tiger nuts – the latest to

10
be turned into “milk” – could
double your testosterone levels.
This hormone elevates your
body’s rate of protein synthesis,
helping you to build muscle
mass. The tiger nut’s impact may
be related to its high zinc
content, a mineral that boosts
your production of testosterone
and eases recovery after training.
It’s also a good source of
SECONDS TO
PHOTOGRAPHY: PETER CROWTHER; *BMC COMPLEMENTARY AND ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE

vitamin C, which helps you

metabolise carbs for fuel and
DOUBLE YOUR protects your body from
exercise-induced oxidative
TESTOSTERONE stress. This strong nutritional
profile makes it our new recovery
FOR ROAR POWER drink mixer of choice – it’ll take
you just 10 seconds to shake up
a formidable fitness enhancer.
Get your claws stuck into it.

January 2019 15
 45
half without, focusing specifically
on each individual’s daily intake of
carotenoids. They discovered that the
more of these antioxidants the study’s
subjects consumed, the lower their
risk of developing colon cancer
tended to be.
Carrots and peppers are also rich
in carotenoids, but the participants
YOU MIGHT BE more used to carving who were least likely to suffer from
faces into pumpkins than cooking the disease were those whose diets
them but, according to scientists at
MINUTES TO SLICE Sun Yat-sen University in China, a
contained a higher amount of beta-
cryptoxanthin, a compound that
YOUR CANCER RISK generous serving of the American
autumn staple is a powerful ally in
happens to be plentiful in pumpkins.
So, this year, forget Halloween: mash
WITH A PUMPKIN PIE your fight to reduce your risk of
cancer as you age.
your pumpkin and cook it in a pie for
45 minutes to protect yourself against
Pumpkins are rich in vitamin A-like some of man’s most sinister killers.
phytochemicals called carotenoids, We’ll have a large slice with cream,
which have been shown in previous thank you.
studies to protect you against
prostate cancer. Oncologists have
also discovered that these chemicals
lower your chances of developing
lethal colorectal tumours. Together,
the two diseases account for about
8,000 deaths in Australia each year.
In the new study, scientists
analysed the diets of 1690 people,
half with colorectal cancer and

PROTECTING YOURSELF
FROM CANCER IS NOW
AS EASY AS PIE.

PHOTOGRAPHY: MICHAEL HEDGE

16 menshealth.com.au
 LEAVE NASTY OFFICE
BUGS IN YOUR WAKE.
SOMETIMES, even scientists get it
wrong. For years, the consensus has
been that a relentless training
schedule can lead to a debilitating
case of man flu: run or rep yourself into
the ground and your defences will
crumble. But myth-busting
researchers at the University of Bath
have an alternative theory: that
endurance exercise actually boosts
your immunity. Good news, indeed.
During exercise, the number of
infection-fighting T-cells in the blood
can increase to 10 times the normal
amount. In earlier studies, scientists
noted a steep decline of these
lymphocytes in the hours following
a workout and assumed they were
18 menshealth.com.au
02
being lost or destroyed – leaving the
body open to illness. However,
according to the new research,
published in Frontiers in Immunology,
the cells are simply being relocated to
areas more susceptible to infection –
your lungs, for example – ready
to repel invading pathogens.
Working out for two hours was
found to provide the optimal boost to
your defences. That means getting
ahead of the pack on your half-
marathon plan could be the most
HOURS TO OUTRUN
THE COMMON COLD
PHOTOGRAPHY: JOBE LAWRENSON
effective way to outrun office bugs.
The scorching summer weather is
no longer an excuse to put your AND SET A NEW PB
training on ice. So, lace up, limber
up and press go.
 01
HOUR TO BOOST
BODY CONFIDENCE READ THE FOLLOWING in your best
WITH DAVID Sir David voice: “Here we have a prime
example of a human male, located just
ATTENBOROUGH south of a mirror. He stands, tall and
strong, displaying the results of his
efforts in a nearby gymnasium.” But
this male can’t see any results – only
his flaws.
One in 10 men who train in gyms
now suffer from body dysmorphia, and
far more have low self-esteem
associated with their physical
appearance. It’s a growing problem,
but psychologists have found a
surprising solution. In a recent study*,
subjects were asked to complete a
survey about their own appearance.
They were then exposed to a series of
images: half saw pictures of the natural
world, while the other half viewed
RISE ABOVE LOW urban scenes. Then, they repeated the
SELF-ESTEEM WITH survey. Members of the nature group
A NATURAL HIGH.
were more satisfied with their body the
second time round, while the city
group showed no uplift.
The researchers concluded that
images of nature – especially when
they’re narrated by Attenborough, we
imagine – can be a salve for this
modern malaise, brought on in part by
the pressures of social media and the
culture of training purely for aesthetics.
So, rewatch an old episode of Planet
Earth and feel your self-esteem take a
big step up the evolutionary ladder.
PHOTOGRAPHY: COLIN BEAGLEY; *BODY IMAGE

20 menshealth.com.au
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 Advantage+
STAY AHEAD OF THE GAME

CHANGE
THE MEETING POINT is the rock between Cummins’ heels
walkway above the swimming and the precipice glistens with
pool at Sydney’s Clovelly beach. rain. Cummins is nonchalant.

OF PACE
Find out how speedster Pat Cummins
used unwanted downtime to bulletproof
his body and sharpen his game
BY DANIEL WILLIAMS
PHOTOGRAPHY BY KRISTIAN TAYLOR-WOOD
Pat Cummins arrives bang on
time, exuding bonhomie. His
day up till now? He’s walked his
new toy poodle – “He’s not a real
fast bowler’s dog,” Cummins
says, sheepishly – and later
chatted with someone from the
sporting goods corporation that’s
designing a boot for him. So
pretty quiet. Suddenly, however,
danger looms.
The Men’s Health
photographer has blithely
positioned the pace ace near the
edge of a cliff. The two metres of
But should he take a step
backwards absentmindedly . . .
no, this is unbearable.
Granted, it might be a case
of transference: just because
I wouldn’t dare stand where
he is doesn’t make the set-up
inherently perilous. But
Cummins’ track record for
misadventure does nothing to
reassure. From severing the top
of his right-hand middle finger
at the age of four – when one of
his sister’s slammed the toilet
door on it – to a spate of injuries

22 menshealth.com.au
 A+
TACTICS

January 2019 23
 A+
TACTICS
BACK IN BUSINESS: AN INJURY-
FREE CUMMINS RIPPED INTO
ENGLAND LAST SUMMER.
“Super-frustrating. I was desperate
to prove myself again, and I couldn’t”
that has threatened to smother
his career, fighting back from
physical breakdown has been the
leitmotif of Cummins’ life.
On the eve of a four-Test series
against India, starting on Dec.
6 in Adelaide, what you get from
the 25-year-old world-beater
is a lesson in perseverance, in
refusing to succumb to self-pity.
“You can do a lot of learning
in those tough times,” says
Cummins. “In some ways I’ve
been able to restart my career as
a more complete package.”
Perhaps the same opportunity
is there for you?
RISE TO THE OCCASION
Put yourself in Cummins’ shoes.
Fresh out of high school you
become the youngest Australian
in 60 years to be picked for a Test
match. When the day comes you
look around the dressing room
at Johannesburg’s Wanderers
Stadium and see Ricky Ponting,
Michael Hussey, Michael Clarke
– champions you’d been admiring
on television from your parents’
lounge just a few months before.
Later you’re at the top of your
run-up, with the hosts’ steely
captain Graeme Smith awaiting
your first offering.
Cummins’ nerves are jangling
but there are points in his favour.
24 menshealth.com.au
For one, he understands (more
completely than most young
men in roughly his position) that
this is just cricket – a grander
version of the game he’s been
playing with his brothers in their
backyard since he was five. “I
never put pressure on myself or
had pressure heaped on me,” he
says of growing up in the Blue
Mountains, west of Sydney.
Which is not to say he lacks
intensity. Cummins has been all
humility off the field. But now,
on the verge of action, he sets his
jaw. “The thing is, I hate losing,”
he says. “Hate being a passenger. I
wanted to step up. I didn’t want to
be talked about as, ‘Oh, yeah, he’s
young, give him time’.”
After a decent first ball and
a sound first-innings showing,
Cummins cleaned up in South
Africa’s second dig, claiming six
wickets in a debut that heralded
the latest incarnation of a long-
treasured Australian entity: the
raw, tearaway fast bowler. But
even as Cummins basked in his
man-of-the-match performance,
he knew something was wrong.
SIDELINED
Since day one of the Test
Cummins’ left heel had been
bleating in protest. After day
three he could barely walk and
through a stress fracture,” he
says. “Well, I think they’re liars.”
A different man might
have quit the game. Cummins
couldn’t. When your body’s
loose and it’s all coming easily,
the experience of fast bowling
is intoxicating. “In footy, the
equivalent might be that you’re
two metres tall, 130 kilograms
and you’re running over the top
of someone,” says Cummins. Not
an easy thing to kiss goodbye, in
other words.
But with cricket out of the
equation for a while, Cummins
needed a new reason to get out
only a painkilling injection
allowed him to complete his six-
wicket haul. “It was the worst
injury I’ve ever had – worse than
any back injury,” Cummins
says. For nine months the soft
tissue wouldn’t heal sufficiently
to let him play. Meanwhile, the
Australian team pressed on
without its prodigy.
“Super-frustrating,” says
Cummins, who has bought us
Diet Cokes and settled into a chair
inside the local pub as spring
rain pelts the windows. “Before
that Test, cricket for me had been
about trying to do well for myself.
Now there was a lot of expectation
coming from the outside. I was
desperate to prove myself again,
and I couldn’t.”
The route back to Test cricket
was the shorter forms of the
game, in which the workloads are
lighter but still onerous enough
to damage a maturing body
straining to bowl at 145km/h. The
result for Cummins, transpiring
over a period of years, was a series
of spinal stress fractures, his life
folding into a cycle of breakdown-
rehabilitation-resumption-
breakdown. “Whenever I came
back it felt like I had to learn to
bowl again,” he says. In its acute
phase a stress fracture can be
excruciating. “Now and then you
get ex players who say they bowled
of bed in the morning. So he
returned to university, where
he’d started a business degree
before his cricket caught fire. “I
was by no means a great student,”
he says. “But uni kept me
grounded in the real world – in a
20-year-old’s world. It showed me
that life doesn’t have to revolve
around a cricket calendar.”
What else do you do when
you can’t do the thing you love
most? If you’re Cummins, you
work towards making your body
impregnable through targeted
training (see “Fire When Ready”,
next page). And you try, within
the limits of your incapacity, to
get better at your craft.
Cummins soaked up advice
from Dennis Lillee, the fast-
bowling nonpareil whose own
career had been imperilled
by stress fractures. Lillee
counselled Cummins on how
to approach fast bowling once
mended, warning him against
trying to blast out batsmen
with pure speed, particularly
on the featherbed wickets of the
subcontinent. “Pace is great,”
says Cummins. “But it’s not as
important as accuracy, swing and
seam. DK wanted me to manage
my body” – to bowl strategically
at roughly 90 per cent effort
rather than brainlessly flat-out.
All up, the gap between
Cummins’ first and second Tests
stretched to more than five years.
In early 2017, when he emerged
unscathed from two Tests on
Indian dustbowls, his confidence
soared. Later he played as the
sole Australian quick in a five-
dayer in Bangladesh, where
the enervating heat had him
vomiting on all fours at fine leg
and losing six kilograms in a day.
But the point was he didn’t
break down. Nor did he even
worry about breaking down.
“It wasn’t me versus my own
body,” says Cummins, who was
the team’s leading wicket-taker
against England last summer.
He begins the Tests against India
with a Lillee-like bowling average
of a tick under 24.
BUILT TO LAST
Injuries leave marks on a man’s
psyche every bit as real as
physical scars. Lillee, Cummins
. . . these guys know better than
anyone that while you can talk
all you like about playing within
PAIN GAME:
“I CAN’T BE JUMPING
AT SHADOWS,”
SAYS CUMMINS.
January 2019 25
 A+
TACTICS

FIRE WHEN READY

Generating frightening pace and shoring up your back
require a granite core and glutes, says Cummins. Do this
circuit based on the speed demon’s fitness priorities

1|| Hip Thrust

x 4 sets of 15
Sit on the floor with your
shoulders and upper back
resting on a bench. Knees
bent, back straight, raise
your hips to their maximum
height, squeezing your glutes
intensely throughout. Lower
under control.

2|| Goblet Squat

x 4 sets of 20, 12, 10, 6
Stand strong grasping a
dumbbell under your chin.
Brace you core, push back
your butt and sink into a
squat, thighs roughly
parallel with the floor. Push
through your heels to return
to the start position.

3|| Bird-Dog
x 4 sets of 10 (each side)
Assume an all-fours position on the floor.
Your core braced, extend your right leg behind
you and your left arm in front. Maintaining a
straight line, make
yourself as long as
possible. Hold for
10 seconds. Reverse
the move.

4|| Box Jump

x 4 sets of 10
Stand in front of a box (its
height is your call). Bend at
the knees and spring forward
and upwards using your
glutes, legs and arms for
propulsion, landing softly on
top of the box. Step or jump
down to the start position.

5|| 80-m Sprint

x 4 sets
Run at between 80-90 per cent of
your maximum speed for 40m; stop
and run back. When you’ve done 4
sets, that’s one circuit
completed. Rest for 1 minute and
go again. Aim for 3-4 rounds.

26 menshealth.com.au
“It irks me when you see
players fall to pieces
against their best player”
yourself, there will be times when
you simply can’t or won’t hold
back. It’s then that Cummins
needs to have the confidence to
unleash – and the resilience to
go again the next day.
Inevitably, there’ll be niggles.
“But I can’t be jumping at
shadows,” he says. “We talk about
good pain and bad pain.” You
can play through stiffness. But
ignoring the first signs of a stress
fracture could send Cummins
back to the books for another year.
It’s a mental battle he’s
waging. When you’re injured you
can start to believe that if only you
could get your body right, you’d be
unbeatable. It’s an illusion. Sport
– not least at the top – can still
routinely expose you when you’re
fully fit. The injury-free state is
a prerequisite for success, not a
guarantee of it.
Cummins gets this. On
Australia’s cataclysmic visit
to South Africa earlier in the
year, he encountered champion
batsman AB de Villiers at the
top of his game. Up against
genius, many despair. Cummins’
response is to dig deeper.
“So this guy is the best player
in their team? Well, you be the
best in yours,” he says. “It really
irks me when you see players
fall to pieces against their best
player, or feel they’ve lost before
the contest has even begun. Make
it as hard as possible for them to
dominate. I can really thrive in
those circumstances.”
The late Peter Roebuck
once said of the West Indian
dominator Vivian Richards that
his eyes were white, “as though
they’d been burned – from the
inside”. Cummins’ eyes – a
brilliant, lupine blue – tell a
different tale: that of an amiable
fellow with strong values but also
this latent competitive fire.
At a time when the Australian
team is trying to temper its
belligerent image, you wonder
what culture would best reflect
Cummins’ character. Did he feel
at home in the hypermasculine
version of the recent past? Or
will he be happier as part of Tim
Paine’s gentler brigade?
Cummins’ answer is,
effectively, both. “Knowing the
guys, you won’t find a better
bunch of people – really calm
and down to earth,” he says. But
there was a disconnect, he adds,
between the players’ true selves
and their on-field personas.
The key to closing the gap, he
reckons, is showing the world a
team that is “competitive and
fair, plays tough and fights it out
to the end, but hopefully we can
do all that while showing the
enjoyment we always feel.”
That task will go more
smoothly with a fit Cummins
entrenched in the XI. For both
parties, you sense, the darkest
times are in the past.
Catch all the Test-match action
this summer on Channel 7
January 2019 27
 A+
HEALTH
1 4
FAT CHANCE
You may be at more risk
than you realise. Around
two-thirds of Australian men
are overweight or obese. And,
in many cases, the excess
kilos are deposited around
their middles as visceral fat.
Your fleshy belly surrounds
your liver, stomach and
intestines and, rather than
sit flabbily inert, is
biologically active,
imbalancing your hormones
and raising your risk of
metabolic and cardiovascular
complications. So far, so bad.
1 5
2 5
MIND GAINS
It sneaks up on you
because you’re hard-
wired to store fat: in
evolutionary terms, it’s
part of your body’s system
of stockpiling energy.
Now that you’re no
longer hunting or
gathering, however,
it’s a problem.
Outsmart biology
by starting your
day with a
high-fat breakfast of
avocados and eggs (or
sausages). This
promotes metabolic
plasticity, making
you burn more belly
fat for energy*.
28 menshealth.com.au
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN… HEART OF
…I GET A
THE MATTER
As your belly grows, its
impact on your heart is
determined by your waist-to-
FAT GUT?
hip ratio. To work this out,
measure both and divide
waist by hips. A score of 0.9 or
higher indicates central
Spare tyre, dad bod, skinny fat – whatever obesity, which means your
you call it, weight around your waist can be cardiac risks are higher. Hit
deadly. Here’s how to deflate the danger the weights: muscle limits the
dangers of visceral fat** by
extracting glucose from your
blood, helping your liver
process fatty acids and
reducing inflammation.
2 3
IF YOU LET IT KEEP
GROWING, BELLY
WORDS: TOM WARD; ILLUSTRATION: PETER GRUNDY; * INTERNATIONAL JOURNAL OF OBESITY; ** MAYO CLINIC; ^SCIENTIFIC
WILL GET YOU.
BROWN IS THE
NEW WHITE
The surf beckons – and
you can use cold water to
your advantage in the
battle against the bulge.
Not all body fat is
harmful. While
visceral fat is “white
fat”, associated with
an unhealthy
metabolism,
“brown fat”
burns kilojoules
and helps the
3
GUT PUNCH body to generate heat.
A muffin top is often poor in Training in cold water
biodiversity. Keep an eye on your “turns on” brown fat,
toilet: in a recent study, scientists found stoking your
that a hard, lumpy stool has fewer metabolism
beneficial bacterial species. The fix, and burning off
according to research, is a 10g increase in your belly^.
daily fibre, which boosts your microbiome
and is also associated with a 3.7 per cent
drop in visceral fat. Add two tablespoons
REPORTS
of psyllium husks to your cereal or shake.
 A+
FITNESS

Fix The THE BEST

EXERCISE
YOU’RE NOT

Sting of DOING
START HERE

Back Pain 1
GET CRACKING
G
Sit on the floor, youur
knees bent and

in Minutes
hands behind you. Lift
your glutes 5cm off the e
floor and hover in the
crabb position.
iti H ld this
Hold this
pose for a few secondss,
UNDO DESK-BOUND DAMAGE A AND enjoying the stretch
WITH
BUILD FULL-BODY STRENGTH W H as it opens up your
N
THE SCORPION. YOU'LL REGAIN shoulders.
FREEDOM OF MOVEMENT, FAST

IT’S HARDLY NEWS that sitting

for too much of your life is bad for
your long-term health, yet few
people are aware that a largely
ABOUT--TURN
sedentary existence can cause To rotate yourself
y
far more immediate problems. so you’re facing
f
Take the painful, rounded back the floor, move yyour right
that’s been keeping you off work, elbow towards your left
or the weak glutes that have knee and twist your torso
seen your deadlifts plateau. But 0°, so that
through a full 180
this dynamic exercise (right), your chest is facing down.
which centres on mobilising
creaky joints, will help you fix the
damage from the comfort of your
living room.
“The Scorpion is excellent for
stretching out your whole body,”
LEG OVER
says Kemo Marriott, founder of
the Brotherhood Training Club. Now, with both
“You’ll extend your shoulders, hands, your right
spine and hips, which is the fo
oot and your eyes on
perfect antidote to sitting down the floor, continue the
all day.” Plus, the control needed twist in one fluid motion
to execute the move will build by driving your left leg
total-body strength, while the up and backwards so it
focus on coordination will boost arcs over your right leg,
proprioception, making your opening up your hips.
lifts more efficient.
Work five minutes of this
pincer exercise into your daily

4
schedule and you’ll be able SAFE LA
ANDING
WORDS: MATT EVANS; PHOTOGRAPHY: PHILIP HAYNES

to take the venom out of your Raise you ur left hand

chair’s perils within a month.
Though you might need to move
the coffee table first.
WHAT YOU’LL GAIN
+ +
S H AR P BO UL DE R
C O O R D I N ATI O N SHO UL DE RS
and twistt your back,
lowering your le eft foot to
the floor. As thiss returns
you to the crab position,
keep your left hand up
and right leg exxtended.
Reverse the mo ove with
the opposite leg g – and try
not to get too dizzy.
AN I M A L
M OB IL I TY

30 menshealth.com.au
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 A+
MIND

THE
THERAPY
PUZZLE
See why everyone from Jay-Z to Greg Inglis to the
guy who’s killing it in the cube next to you is saying
yes to counselling. It mightn’t be what you think it is
BY PHILIP ELI AND MARTY MUNSON

LET’S START with what counselling is not. It’s not

something to feel weird about. Millions of people do it
for reasons as serious as having suicidal thoughts and
as non-serious as wanting to be a little less grumpy
around the holidays. The era when therapy carried
PHOTOGRAPHY: KEVIN VAN AELST

any kind of major stigma started to end (in the US,

at least) when The Sopranos’ Tony sat down with Dr
Melfi. So let’s move on to what it is: it’s a space to talk
to a professional listener about whatever you want.
COULD A TRAINED
It’s confidential. It takes place behind closed doors PROFESSIONAL SOLVE
with a licensed expert. Which makes it seem sort of THE JIGSAW OF
mysterious. Until you get started. This is how. YOUR MIND?

January 2019 33
 A+
MIND
THE 5 MOST
HORRIBLE
REASONS
NOT TO SEE A COUNSELLOR
1 “There’s nothing wrong with me.”
Of course there isn’t. While they can be distressing
and debilitating, there’s nothing wrong with having
bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety or anger issues, or
just generally not having your shit together. It’s all okay.
Whether you’re in the middle of a mental-health crisis or
a member of the “worried well”, therapy is a step toward
a bigger life. “It’s about embracing life instead of trying
to get through it,” says psychologist Edward Adams,
president of the Society for the Psychological Study of
Men and Masculinities.
2“I’m too busy.”
“When you say you don’t have time, you’re really
saying that other things are more important than your
mental health,” says psychiatry professor and therapist
Alexander Harris. If you’re too busy for therapy, it’s worth
thinking about what you’re currently putting ahead of
your wellness. “Is being the best you in work, love and
play a priority?” Harris asks. “And if not, why not?
3“Going to therapy means I’m weak.”
Is it “weak” to go to an accountant for help with your
taxes? Or a mechanic for help with your car? “Strong is
the person who is effective and gets the job done,” Harris
says. “And hiring an expert in relationship issues or
working for career success is ‘taking care of it yourself.’ ”
Plus, holding in your feelings can be deadly. A lot of men
who are suicidal are the silent type, says Adams.
4 “I need to spend time on
my family, not on myself.”
Therapy can often be an act of care not just for yourself
but for the people around you, so you can be a healthy and
productive partner, father, brother, manager. “This is
one way to ‘man up’ in your life, and for your family and
for your community,” says Wizdom Powell, an associate
professor of psychiatry.
5 “I can’t be seen coming
out of that office.”
While the stigma is eroding, there will always be nosy,
small-minded people. Fortunately, the Internet can
connect you to services like counsellingonline.org.au,
where you can talk confidentially with a licensed and
experienced therapist by phone, email or SMS.
34 menshealth.com.au
ANALYSE THIS!
Doctor of psychology, licensed clinical social worker, licensed marriage
and family therapist, some dude with a framed diploma (S.D.W.F.D.)  . . .
it can get nitpicky and complicated. You’re entitled to know that the
“expert” sitting opposite knows more than you do about the workings of the
mind. In general, doctoral degrees (Psy.D., Ph.D) indicate deeper schooling
than Master’s degrees. But here’s the thing: who you click with tends to
matter more than their credentials.
HOW TO FIND
A GOOD THERAPIST
Zeroing in on the right counsellor can itself feel like something
you need therapy to work through. The alternative – waking up
at 3am feeling insecure about your job performance, curling
up in the foetal position when you see “Breaking News” on
the airport TV – isn’t that comfortable either. Make it easier by
following these simple steps
Step 1: Track down your best prospects.
Unfortunately, there’s no magic app, list of questions or matchmaker
for finding the ideal counsellor. Like choosing a doctor, date or
roommate, it starts with a little checking around. Going to the
website of the Australian Counselling Association (theaca.net.au) is a
solid start. But even better is asking your doctors (primary care and
specialists), physical therapists and friends for recommendations.
Step 2: Get them talking.
You might connect with your perfect counsellor on the first call, but
you may need to contact three or more to find a good fit. In addition
to asking about costs, you want to learn what their approach is and
whether they’ve helped people like you in the past. Uncover that with
questions such as these:
“My biggest issue is ___. Do you think you can help me?”
Ask straight-out how much expertise they have with your concern.
“Would the focus be on solving my current problem or
on exploring patterns in my past that contribute to it?”
This tells you what type of therapy they like to practise. (Discover
more about that in “What Goes On in There,” on the next page.)
“How will we know when I’m done?”
Could be a few weeks; could be more than a year. There’s no right
or wrong answer. What matters is that your counsellor explains the
process clearly and earns your trust and confidence while doing so.
Step 3: Note the chemistry.
“I like to look at [a therapist] as a thought partner in the process of trying
to figure out quality-of-life issues,” says Adams. So if the person you just
interviewed doesn’t strike you as a good collaborator, move on. You’re a
consumer. You don’t have to settle for the first therapist you meet.
75
PERCENTAGE OF
THE ROUGHLY
2500 SUICIDES IN
AUSTRALIA EACH
YEAR COMMITTED
BY MEN
 WHAT GOES ON
IN THERE?

“Therapy” can mean a lot of different things.
Cognitive behavioural therapy, or CBT,
tends to be short-term, collaborative and
solutions-based, helping to equip you with
strategies for coping with difficult thoughts
or emotions. “You may think you’ve been
painted into a corner [by life], and all of
a sudden talking with a therapist reveals
there’s a hidden door you can exit and go
into another room and try something else
out,” says Stephen Hinshaw, a professor of
psychology. CBT can help you recognise
unproductive patterns of thinking and learn
to reshape your thoughts. For instance, you
might catch yourself falling into black-and-
white thinking (maybe that either you’re
great or you’re terrible), and your therapist
can teach you to find a third possibility.
Another approach, psychodynamic
therapy (which includes psychoanalysis),
is more open-ended and less targeted. It
can involve exploring themes in your life
and mind or be aimed at processing past
trauma. “Those folks are more likely to ask
you to do a deep dive into your experiences
and spend a lot of time unpacking your
past,” says Powell. It’s like archaeology: you
find stuff beneath the surface of your mind
and dust it off in the therapist’s office so it
makes sense to you and won’t haunt you.
Beyond these two big categories, you
can find group therapy, single-session
therapy and a full deck of other options.
No matter the style, it’s confidential.
Getting the most out of therapy often
involves discussing sensitive subjects – sex,
money, drugs, anger, fear, shame – and
confidentiality makes that possible. What’s
said between you and your therapist stays
that way, with only the rarest exceptions,
such as if a client is a risk to their own or
someone else’s safety.

If you’re seeing a counsellor, ALSO

do you have to broadcast the
TALKING ABOUT IT The Cost
WHO’S fact? Your choice. But these
Of Getting
DOING IT? guys – famous and exposed –
did, which is helping the toxic Therapy
stigma surrounding therapy It’s not all
weaken by the day $200-an-hour
consultations
“You’re at such an advantage.” with Mercedes-
driving
JAY-Z, 48, RAP ICON, SONGWRITER, RECORD
PRODUCER, HUSBAND OF BEYONCE analysts
“I grew so much from the experience. But I think the most
important thing I got is that everything is connected. Every
emotion is connected and it comes from somewhere. And In-house:
just being aware of it. Being aware of it in everyday life puts Your company
you at such an advantage.” Bruce Dwayne “The may offer all
Springsteen Rock” Johnson its employees
“For me, a very good doctor was crucial free access to
to my climb out of depression.” counselling – and
JOHN BROGDEN, 32, FORMER LEADER OF THE not just for work-
OPPOSITION IN NSW related stress but
“What I’d been pushing away were some really upsetting for whatever’s
times as a kid. I needed to address enormous dysfunction.” troubling you.

“My advice is to take control of what’s Medicare:

happening in your brain.” In most cases,
OSHER GÜNSBERG, 44, TV PRESENTER the government
“I know a lot of people might be worried about seeing a Howard Chris will subsidise
therapist because they’re worried about the stigma around Stern Evans up to 10
mental illness. You don’t have to feel this way. If you take psychological
control of your own mental health you will feel so much consultations.
more powerful, so much more engaged.”

“If you’re ready to learn and to better Retreats:

yourself, then you’ll get what you need Google “Noosa
out of therapy.” Confidential”
DARIUS BOYD, 31, FORMER RUGBY LEAGUE about a luxury
CHAMPION FOR QUEENSLAND AND AUSTRALIA (but POA)
“There was a time I never spoke about my problems. I shied experience.
away from talking about feelings. In the end, seeing someone Jon Prince
was an easy decision. I didn’t care what people thought.” Hamm Harry

January 2019 35
 A+
FITNESS

Get A OFF THE WALL

Helping PREPARE FOR A FULL HANDSTAND
WITH THIS PT-APPROVED MOVE

Handstand
At The Office
Master this gymnastic staple to I/ GET IN POSITION
boost your brainpower and With your feet against the
wall, drop into a straight arm
push yourself forward at work plank. Make sure you can hold
this for at least 60 seconds.

IT TURNS OUT that there’s more to

handstands than showboating on
Instagram. A new study in Scientific
Reports suggests that, once mastered,
the gymnastic classic can give you a
mental edge at the office. After 12 weeks
of intense balance training, test subjects II/ START CLIMBING
improved not only their ability to show Move your hands backward,

WORDS: LOUEE DESSENT-JACKSON; PHOTOGRAPHY: ROWAN FEE | *SCIENTIFIC REPORTS; ILLUSTRATIONS: ALCONIC AT SYNERGY ART
keeping them directly below
off, but also their short-term memory.
your shoulders, and walk
While many of the cognitive benefits your feet slowly up the wall.
of exercise relate to the long-term goal
of dementia prevention, handstand
training offers rewards in the here
and now. Your quick thinking won’t go
unnoticed in meetings, or when your
boss gives you an unexpected grilling.
Scientists have long known that
exercise positively impacts our brains, GIVE YOUR MENTAL
but such benefits were largely linked SKILLS A LEG-UP.
III/ AT THE SUMMIT
to our cardiorespiratory fitness. In Once you’re almost vertical,
this case, however, neither group keep your elbows locked,
was training to improve their cardio fingers spread and core tight.
endurance. The researchers speculate Hold for as long as you can.
that the cognitive boost was related
to the neural pathways connecting
the vestibular system (which is
responsible for co-ordination) with the
hippocampus and parietal cortex (the
brain regions strongly associated with
memory and navigation).
By mastering complex moves in the
gym, you’ll strengthen these pathways
and trigger performance-enhancing IV/ DOWN TO EARTH
To lower safely, walk your
alterations in your brain. The corner
hands out and take small steps
office awaits. You can handstand-walk down the wall, until you are
into it, if you like. back in the plank position.

36 menshealth.com.au
 A+
NUTRITION

thful Of South
A sticky-fingered encounter with a plate of ribs needn’t be a
nutritional sin. “Authentic barbecue flavour doesn’t come from
slathering meat with sugary, high-calorie sauces,” says Richard
Turner, the man behind Pitt Cue and high-class butchers Turner
& George. “Choose quality cuts and you can rely on the flavour of
the meat itself.” Follow his cue and your tastebuds will benefit as
much as your abs. Amen to that.

A BABY BACK RIBS

Taken from the top of a hog’s
ribcage, these loin ribs are packed
with selenium. A 100g portion will
provide 46 per cent of your RDI,
which boosts immunity as well as
supporting thyroid function.

B BEEF SHORT RIBS

‘Flanken’ ribs are cut across the
bone, so thin cross-sections remain
in each piece. Beef is high in zinc
(crucial for protein synthesis), iron
(to build red blood cells) and
power-boosting creatine.

C PORK SHOULDER
Slow-cooked in a smoker, the combo
of muscle, connective tissue and fat
in this cut makes it perfectly suited
to cooking proper pulled pork or
‘Carolina cue’. With a hefty 20g of
Be Hot To Trot
T
WORDS: EDWIN SMITH; PHOTOGRAPH; LOUISA PARRY

protein per 100g slab, it’s a

mouthwatering way to expedite
post-gym muscle repair, too.
D PORK JOWL
Pig’s heads were among the earliest
meats to be cooked in makeshift fire
pits. Don’t want to go the whole hog?
The tender jowl is stuffed with vit B3
to aid digestion. It’s more cheeky
than a Nando’s.
Once you’ve geared d up with a proper low
and slow smoker (F Fornetto Empire Red
Razzo Vertical Smo oker, $369 bunnings.com.au), don’t let
your claim to authe enticity turn to ashes. “Cheap briquettes from
the local petrol station forecourt are covered with accelerant,”
says Turner. “That helps them burn, but also makes food taste of
chemicals. Better tot use lump charcoal with chunks of real wood.”
He recommends hiickory woodchips for a traditional US flavour
($7, woolworths.co om.au). When applying marinades try injecting to
infuse flavour fromm the inside out (Char-Griller
(Char Griller marinade injector
$9.98, chargrilleraustralia.com.au). Wash it all down with a bottle
of red (McWilliam’s McW Alternis Nero d’Avola $132 for case of six,
mcwilliamscellar.com.au).

38 me
enshealth.com
m.au
Protect your sauces
While you won’t catch Pitt Cue’s
chefs hitting the bottle, boiling
down a four-litre batch of BBQ
sauce isn’t entirely practical at
home. Turner concedes that, when
you’re busy topping up
your guests’ drinks, store-bought
sauce is a saviour. Once armed,
fire up your smoker and tear
into these morsels from Turner’s
personal collection.

CAROLINA BARBECUE PULLED POR

RK GRILLED FLANKEN-CUT SHORT RIBS
SERVES 8 METHOD SERVES 4 METHOD
• Untrimmed boneless Place the pork fat-side-up and cut • Flanken short ribs, Put the ribs into a dish. Combine
pork shoulder, ½ each piece in half lengthways. Set 2kg, cut 1cm thick the liquids – including coffee,
• Carolina pork rub it on a baking tray and add 150g of • Cold black coffee, which has been shown to protect
BLITZ THE F
B G N (left), 200g 150ml
dry rub. Wrap in cling wrap and against liver damage – and pour
YOU
YO R BLENDER AN
A D REE N • Barbecue sauce, • Sweet soy sauce, 150ml
400ml refrigerate for 2hr. Whisk up the over the top. Leave to marinate in
• Madeira, 150ml
AN
N AIRTIG T CON
CO T N OR
R
• Brioche buns, 8 mop – vinegar helps to balance the fridge for 4hr, turning them
• Sea salt flakes
HUGE HIT O A O RW H both cholesterol and blood sugar over halfway through. Light a
AN NTI XIDADAAN PUN
PUNCH
CH
H For the vinegar mop: – and stir in 50g of dry rub. Place barbecue and allow it to burn down
• Cider vinegar, 250ml the pork on racks in the smoker to a smoulder. Drain the ribs,
• Water, 125ml and cook at 105°C for 6hr, brushing season with salt, then grill for
• Worcestershire hourly. Remove, shred and serve several minutes each side, or until
sauce, 20ml with BBQ sauce in toasted buns. caramelised. Remove and dig in.

Ca
aro
r Dry b
• Se sa t f akes, 50g
• of
o t b wn s g r, 50g
0
• e n e ds 0g,
,
sted
st d
• F eshl
s y grou
ro
ound
n
c epp
pe 0g

ASIAN-STYLE STICKY RIBS SMOKED JOWL WITH PICKLED PEARS

SERVES 2 METHOD SERVES 4 METHOD
• Rack of baby back ribs Rub the meat with metabolism- • Smoked pig’s jowls, 2 Slice the pear, then bring the
• Chinese 5-spice, 1tbsp firing Chinese spice and the Asian • Barbecue sauce, 200ml other pickle ingredients to the
A ia
ian
n ry
y R b • Asian rub (left), 1tbsp rub; pop them in the fridge for 2hr. • Small sourdough loaf boil with 100ml water. Pour over
•S sa t f
sa kes,
, 0 g • Spring onions, 3, sliced Place the ribs on a wire rack over • Lardo, 100g, sliced the pear, then refrigerate for a few
• Mu c ado
do su
s g , 00g • Sesame seeds, 1tbsp a roasting tin, then smoke for 3hr hours. Smoke your jowls for 3hr,
For the pickled pears: and brush with BBQ sauce. Toast
• d fen
enn
nne
e l n 1 g at 110°C. Remove, and pour any
For the sauce: • Pears, 2, peeled slices of sourdough on the grill,
cooking juices into a bowl, stirring
• p ika p • Hoisin sauce, 100ml • Cider vinegar, 200ml
in the sauce ingredients. Brush and spread with omega-3 rich
•F h ro
rou
o nd c • Tomato sauce, 100ml • Lemon juice, 100ml lardo. Finally, cut the meat into
the ribs with this sauce, then
p • Rice wine vinegar, • Caster sugar, 50g chunks and serve on toast with
100ml heat a barbecue and grill ’em for
• sh
h d g ic 2 g • Sea salt flakes, 10g the pickle for a delectable dish
• Black bean sauce, 30ml 5min. Remove from the heat and
sprinkle with the seeds and • A red chilli, split in half that won’t send your summer
• A garlic clove, crushed
spring onions. body goals up in smoke.

January 2019 39
EASY COOK, EASY CLEAN!

GRILLING ROASTING SMOKING PIZZA

Visit our website for great tips, how-to videos and recipes!
 A+
NUTRITION

SWEETEN THE

Fitness is
DEAL TO ENJOY
SPEEDIER GAINS.

Now Best DOMS DISPOSAL

Served Hot MAXIMISE YOUR RECOVERY
WITH OUR MINUTE-BY-MINUTE
GUIDE TO REPAIR
Forget fluorescent energy drinks.
1 MINUTE
Take your winter cardio to boiling It’s a pain, but the
point with a comforting hot chocolate Journal of Athletic
Training found 20 minutes
of foam rolling after
exercise cuts DOMS and
WORDS: LOUEE DESSENT-JACKSON; PHOTOGRAPH: PETER CROWTHER

LIQUID RECOVERY is big business: globally, the
sports drink market is worth just over $28b.
But there’s still something about downing a can
of fluorescent tropical fizz after a long run or a
punishing stint in the saddle that leaves us a little
cold. Thankfully, scientists at Shahid Sadoughi
University in Iran have found a cream-topped
alternative that’ll warm your soul.
After reviewing the data from 12 studies,
they concluded that you’re better off pouring
yourself a mug of hot chocolate (mixed with milk
– instant doesn’t count). It contains the perfect
combination of carbohydrates, electrolytes,
proteins, flavonoids, fats and vitamins for
optimum repair. The researchers compared key
recovery markers, such as heart rate, perceived
rate of exertion and levels of cramp-causing
lactic acid, after subjects performed cycling and boosts performance during
running tests. They revealed chocolate milk and the next 48 hours.
sports drinks to be equally effective for recovery
in most cases. However, they noted that regular 20 MINUTES
hot chocolate drinkers took six minutes longer Jump in a hot
bath instead of a
to reach exhaustion during their high-intensity
traditional icy one after
workouts. What can you do in six minutes? Plenty. rolling. Swedish scientists
It might sound too good to be true, yet the revealed that increasing your
science is satisfyingly simple. While most sports muscle temperature speeds
your post-workout recovery.
drinks contain carbs to replenish fuel, as well as
electrolytes to restock those lost during exercise
and counteract fluid retention, they lack the 60 MINUTES
protein content needed for effective muscle repair Ditch your joggers
– so you’re more likely to feel sore and sluggish for compression
tights to wind down. The
the day after a long-distance run. If you want to University of Würzburg found
bolster your endurance in the months ahead, get wearing them after training
ready with the mini marshmallows. slashes next-day soreness.

January 2019 41
 A+
MIND
WHAT REALLY MAKES YOU
HAPPY?
With all there is to negotiate right now – politics, work,
domestic harmony, a better mobile-data plan – you’d be
forgiven for feeling a little low, down, or even down-low.
You just have to know how to get back up. Take this quiz
to find out what can make you even happier
1 2
Quick: Which would
you say yes to first?
A $10,000
B Spending time outdoors
C A full night’s sleep
D A full night’s sleep on a
bed of $10,000
Happiest answer: C (Or D ,
if that’s your thing. Seems itchy.)
Sleep predicts the highest levels
of well-being, a report by Oxford
Economics and the National Centre for
Social Research found. In fact, moving
from feeling rested “some of the time” to
feeling rested “all of the time” may boost
well-being more than multiplying your
disposable income by five. Spending time
outdoors inches up good feelings, but not
nearly as much as sleep does.
42 menshealth.com.au
3
A very happy happy
hour looks like:
A Cheers (ideally, the Woody
Harrelson era)
B Checking out the new
vodka bar
C A bottle at my desk
Happiest answer: A ( B works,
too, as long as you refrain from
getting a skinful.) It’s not about
where you go but whom you’re
with – strengthening social bonds
is essential to well-being (which
you already knew, but an Oxford
study offers proof). Harvard kills
the buzz a bit: researchers found
that drinking too much is a huge
contributor to unhappiness,
marital stress and divorce.
On a typical day off,
you tend to socialise for:
A Less than four hours
B Four to six hours
C Seven hours or more
Happiest answer: C
Get everyone together: working people
who spent seven or more hours the
previous day with friends or family had the
highest happiness-to-stress ratios
compared with those with less social time
the day before, a Gallup poll found.
Presumably these people didn’t talk
politics with their family.
PHOTOGRAPHY: AGATA PEC/STUDIO 33; BARRY DOWNARD/DEBUT ART: ROWAN FEE;
Tha
at hour seems
en happier when
eve
you
u’re drinking:
A Wine
W
B Beer
B
C S
Spirits (or booze, for
people not involved in
p
liquor marketing)
Hap ppiest answer: A and B .
A BMJ Open study found spirits
elicit more positive emotions
thann other types of alcohol,
THE ACT OF PUMPING
IRON CAN PUT AIR IN but are also linked to negative
EVEN THE MOST MOST feelings. Avoid the ups and
DEFLATED MOOD. dowwns by having beer or wine.
body demo here Deliaepta
ventiur mint. Unt, sus quo velibus
eium ut poriam eum non et utem si
simus.
Totatem vellaborro blacepuditas
volestrum dolecat volestium qui ad
 5
What’s your
preferred status?
A Single
B Partnered up

Happiest answer: B
Breaking free from an ugly
relationship feels good, but you
might not want to stay partner-
free. Coupled-up types are
happier than singles, according
to a recent Canadian study.

TOO MUCH TIME ON

6
SOCIAL MEDIA CAN
EXPOSE CRACKS IN
YOUR WELL-BEING.
How old are you?
A Who wants to know?
B None of your business

10
C But really, who wants to know?

7
Okay, fine. Just give
us your range: Your use of Facebook is:
A

B
16 to 34
35 to 64
C 65+
Happiest answer: C
Not that there’s anything you can
do about it, but the UK’s Office
for National Statistics found that
there were more happy people
ages 65 to 84 than in other age
groups. So do what you can to be
happy now, and know that it only
gets better.
9 A Like breathing – couldn’t live
without posting, liking and clicking
Rock climbing, making
B Like pancakes for breakfast – cosy
sushi, rock climbing
while making sushi. and somehow soul-stirring, but rare
C People still use Facebook?
What happens when you
try a new skill?
A If I suck at it, I cut bait
Happiest answer: B
Time on Facebook can tank satisfaction
B I keep trying
– one study saw that people who spent
20 minutes on it had worse moods than
Happiest answer: B
those who just clicked around the
Struggle isn’t an immediate
mood lifter. But research
Internet for that long. If you can’t stay
suggests the short-term away, at least curb it when it’s stormy

8 frustration of wrestling with a out: moods can be contagious on social

new skill is outweighed by the media, and bad weather brings on more
enduring mental boost you feel negative posts. See our story, page 84.
How often do you lace up when you finally get the hang of
and go for a run? what it is that you’re doing.
A Am I running from something?
Like, an animal? Or what?
B Less than once a month
C

D
Three to five times a week
Every day
HERE’SHOWHAPPYYOUARE
Happiest answer: C
0-3 happyanswers 4-7 happyanswers 8-9 happyanswers
You’re what happiness You’re doing okay. But why You’re fine, so help out
People who worked out had 43
scientists call “not so happy”. settle for life in the middle someone else (altruism
per cent fewer poor-mental-
Try giving your life a lift with ground? Consider making a makes you even happier).
health days than those who didn’t, the strategies here – don’t few smart changes Maybe swing by Men’s
the Lancet Psychiatry suggests. wait until your mood needs to kick your happiness Health and give us a class
Not a runner? Doing any exercise a major renovation. quotient over into “great”. or something? How does
three to five times a week (for 45 Monday look?
minutes) helped.

January 2019 43
 A+
FITNESS

SOLE SEARCHING
The natural movement trend has reignited the barefoot training debate.
So, is it time you unlaced for good?
Let MH step in to help you put your best foot forward

FOOT SHOE
VS
200 K
YEARS
$ 3.8
BILLION
With our springy foot arches, Since the 1970s, trainers
Homo sapiens is perfectly have become big business.
designed for barefoot running The footwear market in
– which was the norm for our Australia alone is forecast to
ancestors for millennia be worth $3.8b by 2025

The revival of barefoot running hit its
peak in 2012. Going shoeless is
thought to encourage you to stop
striking your heels on the ground,
aiding both safety and speed
THE NUMBERS Your trainers’ rubber soles provide
“energy return”, which propels you
further forward with each stride,
conserving your energy and
increasing your speed

Heel-strikers use less oxygen to run at the
same pace as barefoot runners (who
often land on the forefoot), burning
through fewer carbs for energy
University of Massachusetts Amherst
DOES IT WORK? In 2017, Nike research into its Zoom
Vaporfly 4 per cent sole revealed it
could provide a 4 per cent higher
speed boost than any previous model
University of Colorado Boulder

INJURY RISK Despite buzzwords such as

2cm 2.6x
Barefoot running forces your “stability”, the injury risk of
calves to function at an extra running with trainers is more
2cm of length, which can cause than double that of going
injury. So, switch gradually without Harvard University

Lifting barefoot boosts neural
feedback to improve proprioception.
This helps you refine your technique
and activates more muscle fibres,
increasing your power output
HEAVY LIFTING Lifting shoes come equipped with a
raised heel that improves your range
of motion for deeper squats.
Increased muscle activation means
faster results for your efforts

University of Chichester researchers
compared the power output of barefoot
and shod lifters, revealing that those
wearing shoes pushed an average of 12
per cent harder than those without
DOES IT WORK? The claims hold up: elevated heels
promote an upright posture,
increasing your squat efficiency and
ensuring that your lower back is
protected while under tension

VIBRAM FIVEFINGERS TODAY’S SPECIAL NIKE METCON 4

If you’re not ready to go fully On firm surfaces, the Metcon
bare, this shoe decreases inju ury 4’s solid structure provides
risk, allowing the 33 joints in the support required for
each foot to articulate hard yet safe training

THE MH VERDICT: SHOES

HOES WIN!
WORDS: BEN WELCH

That wasn’t even a close race. While the back-to-basics theories of shoeless training are
appealing, the science stumbles. With an impressive variety to choose from, and each pair honed
for a specific fitness pursuit, put your trust in trainers – you’ll leave barefoot athletes in your dust

44 menshealth.com.au
 A+
HEALTH

DRINK & THRIVE

It’s the silly season so have a drink (you
deserve it). But use these booze hacks
to keep things under control

Christmas parties. Strained get-togethers with your

in-laws. The cricket. At this time of year, it’s easy to
drink far more than you normally would. If you want to
recalibrate your boozing, use these tips from Georgia
Foster, a world-renowned hypnotherapist and author
of the new book, Drink Less in 7 Days.

MUTE YOUR CRITIC

Everyone has an inner critic whose
negative comments ignite anxiety.
Alcohol suppresses this hurtful state,
which is why so many people drink
too much and too quickly. Each time
you hear yourself say something
unkind to yourself, say “STOP” in your
mind, breathe it out and then voice
an opposing statement such as ‘It
is safe to drink alcohol slowly’ while
imagining yourself sipping rather
than gulping.

TRACK YOUR EMOTIONS

Each time you feel a pang for a drink
write down what you are feeling.
Are you bored, tired or just feel
that the alcohol will stop your busy
brain? Does alcohol make you feel
happier, safe, funny, sexy or witty?
Understanding these triggers will
help you see the pattern of thinking
before the drinking, which is the
issue. These emotions are key to
knowing why you drink too much.
It is either to extinguish negative
emotions or heighten fragile
self-confidence.
BREAK THE STATE
DOWO POLICY If the beer or wine bell is
Keep a glass of water next to your ringing in your head and
alcoholic drink to sip in between. It you know it’s neither
will hydrate you and your liver will the time nor the place
thank you, too. I call it Drink One, to drink, try this self-hypnosis
Water One. trick. Sing Baa Baa Black Sheep
silently to yourself while looking
ALCOHOL FREE DAYS up at the ceiling for one minute. At
Doctors recommend a few alcohol the same time tap two fingers on the
free days a week but don’t make back of your thumb knuckle. This will
these evenings boring by planning distract your mind and take you to a imagine yourself entering the room
your tax return. Watch a funny calmer and more logical space. feeling calm and confident. See
movie or read that book you’ve been yourself talking to people with ease
meaning to get stuck into. Declare SOCIALLY SHY DRINKERS while sipping a drink slowly. Play a
that day will be one when you can Many drinkers have social anxiety positive song at the same time that For more information
enjoy taking time out, so you can get and use alcohol to calm their nerves. makes you feel safe and happy. The on Georgia Foster and
to buy Drink Less in
to know yourself without alcohol in Change this thinking by taking a few endorphins will kick in and your mind 7 Days, please visit:
your bloodstream. minutes the day before an event to will be distanced from self-doubt. georgiafoster.com

46 menshealth.com.au
 A+
TRAVEL
TALL TALES: WITH 353,
HONG KONG IS THE NO.

KING OF
1 CITY IN THE WORLD
FOR SKYSCRAPERS.

KONG
Discover why the best way to see the
sights of Hong Kong is from the saddle
BY ALEX DALRYMPLE

IT’S A COOL, grey October morning

on the waterfront in Kowloon, as
5000 cyclists sit hunched over their
handlebars, waiting for the starter’s
gun in Cyclothon, an annual 30km spin
through the wild and winding streets
of Hong Kong.
As we set off I’m relieved that the
course is reasonably flat, hugging
the shoreline as it weaves between
skyscrapers, over bridges and through
tunnels. Hong Kong’s urban scenery
reminds me of playing Out Run
on my Commodore 64, though at a
significantly slower speed.
I pass cyclists from all around
the world (well, many more pass me),
including one chap who has the theme
music from Teletubbies blaring from
loudspeakers on his back. The buzz
of cycling among thousands of other
GETTING THERE lycra-clad loonies pushes me to dig
Cathay Pacific flies up to deep, upping my cadence well above
four times daily from all
Australian capital cities.
my usual pace: my average speed today
cathaypacific.com will be a respectable 24 km/h. But after
20 minutes my legs are aching and the added. Maybe that second G&T wasn’t exciting (as did Dyan Cannon). I’m
humidity is blanketing my T-shirt such a wise choice, after all. pleased to say that, 30 years later, this
in sweat. Post-race, I bumped into Evans jewel of the Orient more than lives up
Did I mention that, until a few again. He was on his way back to the to expectation.
weeks ago, I hadn’t been on a bicycle hotel . . . having just won the event! After nine and a half hours in the
WHERE TO STAY since I was 14? Now I remember why. Clearly, a pro athlete’s competitive fires air, the first thing I do upon arrival is
Hong Kong Island
The iconic Mandarin I attempt to distract myself from the are not easily doused. He takes head straight back up again, this time
Oriental Hotel opened pain by thinking about the Peking duck one look at me in my lycra with my in a glass-bottom gondola – the Ngong
in 1963. A recent
renovation has seen this and ice-cold beer I’ve been promised for hastily-borrowed department-store Ping 360 – on Lantau Island. The
beauty refreshed and dinner tonight. mountain bike and breaks into 25-minute trip towards the top of one
restored to its rightful
I’m in Hong Kong with 2011 Tour a chuckle, before adding, a trifle of the island’s tallest mountains offers
place as one of the
world’s great hotels. de France winner Cadel Evans. The earnestly: “Riding across a huge city spectacular views of the South China
mandarinoriental. night before, over a gin and tonic bridge without traffic leading a huge Sea, Hong Kong airport and the new
com/hong-kong
at M Bar atop the iconic Mandarin pack of cyclists is quite exhilarating.” 55km HZMB Bridge linking Macau to
Kowloon Oriental Hotel, Evans had confided I walk away from the former Tour Hong Kong. The Big Buddha at the top
The Royal Garden is that he had no plans to win the race. champ with a spring in my step. The is one of the world’s largest and took
centrally located with
fantastic views over “Ex-professional athletes shouldn’t win truth is I’ve wanted to come to Hong 12 years to build. The 268 stairs to the
Victoria Harbour, close to amateur events,” he said matter-of- Kong ever since I saw Revenge of the peak has me puffed and lagging well
shops, restaurants and
ferries. rghk.com.hk factly. “Hong Kong can be very humid, Pink Panther back when I was eight behind the supremely fit Evans, who
so being hydrated is important,” he years old. It just looked so exotic and seems to be enjoying my pain.

48 menshealth.com.au
 WHERE TO EAT:
Mott 32
This award-winning
restaurant is under the
Standard Chartered
Bank Building. Don’t
miss the soup
dumplings and Royal
Cut Peking Duck.
mott32.com

Sham Shui Po
Home to many
Michelin-recommended
noodles and snacks that
cost under $10. The
walking tour organised
by the Hong Kong
Tourist Board takes in all
the best spots.
discoverhongkong.com

Duen Kee
Located halfway up a
mountain above Tsuen
Wan, this old-school
HK’S RELIGIOUS dim sum restaurant is
LANDMARKS AND DIM popular with hikers
and cyclists.
SUM, RIGHT, ARE A
TOUCH OF THE DIVINE. M-Bar
On the top floor of the
Mandarin Oriental, this
classy cocktail bar
serves delicious
Cantonese tapas with
amazing views of the
skyscrapers of the
financial district.
mandarinoriental.
com/hong-kong

MH MULTIMEDIA
CONTENT PRODUCER
ALEX DALRYMPLE,
POST-RACE IN
KOWLOON.
CADEL EVANS’ RIPPED
CALVES PROPELLED
HIM TO A WIN IN
CYCLOTHON, LEFT.

Early the next morning we are
straight back up another mountain,
Tai Mo Shan, the highest peak in Hong
Kong. The twisting road to the top,
often shrouded in cloud, is popular with
both hikers and cyclists, many of whom
recognise my famous companion. “It’s
so unique because you’re in this large
city and then you go a few hundred
metres and you’re up in the mountains
on a quiet road,” Evans says.
In an attempt to be a bit more
streamlined for the race, I decide to
shave – not my legs, as many cyclists
do, but my face. The Mandarin
Barber at the Mandarin Oriental
Hotel is reminiscent of an old-world
gentleman’s club with leather recliners,
a bar and library. As I kick back in a
leather recliner, the blade-wielding
barber takes to my face with immense
skill and precision. Forty minutes and
many blades, hot towels and lotions
later, he has expertly erased not only
every trace of facial hair but also,
seemingly, several years from my
appearance. I’m looking fresh-faced
and feeling great.
Keen to see the other side of Hong
Kong, away from the glitzy skyscapers,
we head to Sham Shui Po, a working
class district in the northwest that was
once the city’s manufacturing hub.
Today, the factories are making way
for artists, designers and Michelin-
recommended noodle bars. We do a
tour of the area, sampling noodles,
rice puddings and fish balls. Peaking
inside the wet markets is not for the
squeamish: all of the seafood is alive
and often jumping from tank to tank.
Huge slabs of meat hang from hooks
with just about every part of the animal
up for sale. It’s an eye-opening (and
stomach-turning) reminder of where
our food comes from.
In the saddle the next morning
– race day – I do manage to meet the
challenge. The last 2-km stretch seems
to go on forever, but I eventually cross
the finish line. Now my body seems to
have forgotten how to walk up stairs.
Flying home (with a lucky business
class upgrade on Cathay Pacific, so I
can stretch my aching legs) I’m already
planning a return trip in my head. Next
time I’m going to do the 50km ride and
maybe sit on Evans’ back wheel before
I take him at the line. But first, another
G&T, please.
ACTIVITIES
Cycling Mountain trails and
twisting narrow roads start
just a few hundred metres
from the CBD. Cyclothon
takes place in October on
Hong Kong’s network of
highways, tunnels and
bridges.
discoverhongkong.com
Ngong Ping 360 is a 5.7km
gondola lift on Lantau
Island. The glass bottomed
cabins offer breathtaking
views of the mountains on
the way up to the top where
the Big Buddah sits.
Shopping All the big-name
designer brands can be
found, often with prices
much lower than at home.
The markets at Sham Shui
Po are a must for treasure
hunters.

January 2019 49
 A+
RELATIONSHIP

ARE YOU READY FOR A

SEXCATION?
There’s a reason holiday sex is so good
– at least five of them, actually. Now bring
that excitement home every day
BY ANNE RODERIQUE-JONES

50 menshealth.com.au
 I CAN ATTRIBUTE my happy marriage to a
disastrous train ride in France. Or the time we
sank our rental car in a muddy river in Costa Rica.
Or that flight on a Mexican airline that went out
of business while we were in the air, stranding
us in Acapulco. But these weren’t failures – they
were experiences.
Travelling with a partner can lead to some
great memories, many with an R rating – or at
PHOTOGRAPHY: APIX SYNDICATION
least a rom-com glow. A US Travel Association
survey confirms that holidays can strengthen
relationships, help couples communicate and
reduce the odds of divorce. Escaping from work,
laundry and kids is liberating. Add in mountain
views or salt air, and new sensations help “bring
you into your body”, says relationship coach
Celeste Hirschman. It all aids sexual arousal.
Your brain loves to travel. “Variety and
adventure open up the dopamine response,”
says sex coach Patti Britton. That flow of feel-
good hormones brings a sense of excitement
that most couples lose over time.
These trips stand out for me and my partner,
Nate. No need to copy them exactly; use them
as inspiration. With a little planning, you won’t
need a lot of money – or, in some cases, clothes.
1
IS
ESCAPE
PURPOSE
Fulfilling a fantasy
THE GETAWAY
Hawaii
I know, I know: cliché alert!
But the connection between
beaches, sex and romance
should come as no surprise. For
one thing, ocean environments
make us feel good. Research
from 2017 suggests that
exposure to such “blue spaces”
may have mental and physical
benefits. And then there’s all that
skin. That’s probably why Hawaii
is such a popular honeymoon
destination – it’s straight-up par-
adise. On a recent trip to Kauai,
Nate surprised me by renting a
convertible, something I never
imagined us driving in our “real”
life. Our top-down exploration
included roadside coconuts,
January 2019 51
 A+

2
RELATIONSHIP

poke picnics and cooling swims.

We even took a surfing lesson.
By evening, we drank wine on the

lanai and googled real estate we
couldn’t afford.
THE TAKEAWAY Sensory over-
load. As beautiful as Hawaii looks,
its smells and sounds are equally
astounding. “Changing your
sensory input can be quite stim-
ulating,” Britton says, especially
if your home base is a city like, say,
Canberra. Flowers, salty ocean
air and crashing surf combine to
create pure bliss. As for visual
stimuli, watching water droplets
tracing her curves on the beach
can make your mind wander to
the fun times you will have back
at the hotel room, says psycholo-
gist Benna Strober.
DO IT YOURSELF Cruise the
Great Ocean Road for its fine
beaches and easy access from
the East Coast. There’s also
Noosa, Byron Bay and Torquay.
To travel in style, splurge at the
car rental agency: Europcar has
a range that includes Mercedes,
BMW and Jaguar. Or get two (or
more) other couples to split the
cost of a small private jet from
Adagold Aviation. (Go to adagold.
com.au to request a quote.)
Warning: you may never be
willing to fly cattle class again.
SEXY
SEQUEL
PURPOSE
Recapturing romance
THE GETAWAY
Wherever you went (or dreamed
of going) for your honeymoon
Nate and I spent our honeymoon
at a Mexican resort, swilling
Tecate and applying moisturiser
to each other’s sun-seared skin.
When we returned years later,
not much had changed – but we
had. I brought the same bikini
(still fit!) and Nate packed his
beloved team’s visor so we could
redo some photographs. But we
realised that time had made us
more in tune with each other. We
took naps, read books, swam in
our private pool and spent hours
reminiscing at dinner. It was more
romantic than our honeymoon.
And no sunburn.
THE TAKEAWAY New appreciation.
Visiting a faraway place, especially
on a honeymoon, can be stressful.
When you go back, many of the
stresses are gone. “You know your
way around,” says Art Markman,
a professor of psychology. “Plus,
you get to share the joy of thinking
about how young and clueless you
were the first time.”
DO IT YOURSELF Can’t swing
a return trip? Try a low-cost
alternative, like the hotel you
stayed in on your wedding
night. If you went to
Bali, try an Indonesian
restaurant. France? Watch
a French movie with a nice Monroe Alvarez/TheLicensingProject.com (previous), Antonio Terron/Trunk Archive (this page)
Bordeaux and cheese. It’s
about memories, men.

3
Most weekdays Nate and I are in bed by 10pm
– after our nightly TV fix. Hot, right? The rules
changed when we lost our Vegas virginity.
Research shows that couples who share novel
and arousing activities – as opposed to mundane
pursuits like watching game shows – see a
boost in relationship quality. We stayed at the
THE TAKEAWAY A new you. One cure for monotony:
“Give yourself permission to let loose and fantasise
about being someone else,” says Strober. Role-play-
ing shows that you trust your partner with your
deepest fantasies, she says. That vulnerability can
boost your relationship – and sex life.

THE NEW Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas, in a room overlook-

ing the fountains and the Strip. Our suite had a
DO IT YOURSELF Slip on a sport coat and play
James Bond in inner-city Melbourne, home to a

IDENTITY velvet sofa and a Japanese soaking tub for two.

Tempting. But Vegas has a way of pulling you out
of your comfort zone and your fancy hotel. We
PURPOSE
drank cocktails at breakfast and umbrella drinks
Playing a role
in a cabana by the pool. I wore short dresses and
THE GETAWAY a skimpy bikini and we danced until dawn. The
Vegas, baby! next day, we slept past Wheel of Fortune.
sophisticated cocktail scene, nightlife and gambling
(no passport required). Affordable alternatives? The
Gold Coast and Auckland. Or role-play locally: talk
about your turn-ons and settle on a scenario. (Into
taboos? Pretend you’re cheating lovers.) Agree on a
signal to alert each other if one of you needs a break,
says Hirschman.

52 menshealth.com.au
 4 THE EYE
OPENER
PURPOSE
A new perspective

THE GETAWAY
A boutique cruise

I’ll never erase the image of my husband rubbing aloe

on 70-year-old Phyllis’s shoulders during a seven-day
cruise to Mexico. Sure, he’s in the medical field, but it
was the sweet gesture that turned my insides to mush.
Now, we’re not into cruises. But this was different: a
small ship (fewer than 100 people, not thousands)
that could reach nooks and crannies in the Sea of
Cortés. No dressing up for dinner, lots of drinking and
talking. We snorkelled, paddleboarded and swam with
sea lions. Everyone else was over 65, but check your
prejudices: we learned tons about life and love – and
ourselves – chatting with them. Every one of those
couples stressed that travelling together improved
their marriage. The best part? Teaching them to play
Cards Against Humanity. They may have taught us
about lasting relationships (laughing together helps),
but only we could explain the “assless chaps” card.
THE TAKEAWAY An open mind. New settings can
reveal sides of your partner you never noticed
before, says Markman. And lose your bias against
group travel. Sure, it’s not your usual crowd, but
there’s a good chance you’ll make unexpected
friends, too. “Meeting new people and getting to
know them is almost always an overwhelmingly
positive experience,” Markman says. “That good
feeling then expands to the relationship itself
as couples build new memories together that
strengthen their foundation.”
DO IT YOURSELF Go to cruisesalefinder.com.au
for the best deals on cruises that needn’t take you
too far from home. At any given time you’ll find
more options than your brain can handle. In which
case, try the site’s “Cruise Personality Test”.

“That wild side of you may spice things up

and help her see you in a different light”

5
TIMELESS TRAVEL
PHOTOGRAPHY: APIX SYNDICATION

PURPOSE
Unplugging

THE GETAWAY THE TAKEAWAY Focused

Havana
The average iPhone user unlocks
the device 80 times a day. In 2016,
according to one report, Android
users clicked, swiped or tapped
a screen 2600-plus times a day.
(Touch your partner that often?)
In Cuba, Internet access is scarce.
But trust me: in Havana you don’t
need Instagram. With the music,
the cocktails and the steamy heat,
this city radiates sexiness. Nate
and I spent our mornings in bed,
our afternoons sipping mojitos in
leafy courtyards and our evenings
dancing until we were soaked in
sweat. My lingering mental gif:
zipping around in the backseat of
a classic car, my hair blowing in
the warm wind and my husband
looking at me with a big smile.
Didn't need a photo.
connection. Put down the phone
to solidify your relationship:
“Technoference” is a term from a
study that found that seven in 10
people see phones as interrupting
or getting in the way of interactions
with their mate (like texting while
talking). When it happens often,
relationship satisfaction drops.
Without your phone, you relax into
your partner’s company and
reconnect, says therapist Rachel
Sussman. You’ll be reminded of the
early days, when you two were
young, carefree and getting to
know each other.
DO IT YOURSELF Go camping far
from cellphone reach. Seek out a
digital detox program or a retreat
like Gwinganna – in the Gold Coast
hinterland – which doesn’t allow
mobile phone use in public areas.
You disconnect to reconnect.

January 2019 53
 A+
NUTRITION

Heart Health is a
Juice Best Served Cold
The original juice is back on the table. Ice it in
the freezer to concentrate its nutritional payload

IT’S HIGH TIME that juicing

made a comeback. We’re not,
of course, talking about the
hypodermic kind – we mean
your morning OJ. Before health
campaigners called out its high
sugar content, it was almost THE EASIEST WAY TO
unthinkable to start your day PUT YOUR HEART
without a thirst-quenching ATTACK RISK ON ICE.
hit of vitamin C. Now, a study
by the University of Seville in
Spain has discovered that, with
a simple kitchen hack, you can
restore good, old-fashioned
orange juice to its rightful place
on your breakfast table. The
health and wellness zeitgeist is
cyclical, after all.
The Spanish scientists
found that freezing the juice
before thawing it out again
increases the bioaccessibility of
compounds called carotenoids,
making them more easily
absorbed into your blood
stream through your intestinal
wall. According to research
published in the British
Journal of Nutrition, these
powerful antioxidants help
to prevent the breakdown of
muscle and reduce oxidative
stress, which has been linked
to a heightened risk of cancer.
Perhaps most importantly,
WORDS: LOUEE DESSENT-JACKSON; PHOTOGRAPHY: JOBE LAWRENSON

however, carotenoids also have

a protective effect against heart
disease, which is responsible
for more than 36,000 deaths
per year in Australia alone.
So, buying orange juice
in bulk and keeping a ready
supply in the freezer is the
most convenient way to put its
nutrients to better use. As for

those scare stories about
the juice’s high sugar content,
you can offset the negatives
with our high-fibre breakfast
heroes (right). Squeeze more
from your morning.
THELIMITFIBRE WITHIN
OJ’S FRUCTOSE SPIKE
WITH THESE THREE HIGH-FIBRE
BREAKFASTS, EACH DELIVERING
AT LEAST A THIRD OF YOUR RDI
OATMEAL (15G) TACOS (12G) YOGHURT (10G)
Microwave 50g of oats Scramble two eggs, add Mix 50g of cooked qui-
with almond milk. Top half a tin of black beans noa, almonds and two
with two fresh figs, three and spring onions; wrap strawberries into 100g
dates and chia seeds. in wholemeal tortillas. of Greek yoghurt.

54 menshealth.com.au
WA T C H

SPECIAL
D I V E WA T C H E S

DEEP DESIRES
Dive watches are built for serious
work, but their brighter and bolder
designs will work at the beach,
bar and beyond

4 Reasons To Buy The Omega

Seamaster Professional 300M
James Bond wears one. “In 1995,
the costume designer of Golden Eye
wanted a diver’s watch because
Bond is linked to the navy,” says
Gregory Kissling, head of product
management for Omega. “She
chose the Seamaster.”

It’s got a brand-new engine. The

design upgrades to the new model
aren’t just cosmetic. The new
movement now passes Omega’s
famously hardcore Master
Chronometer certification, which
means it’s super-accurate, highly
durable and antimagnetic.

The dial detailing pops. “The waves

are back, we missed the waves,”
Kissling admits. This undulating
pattern is engraved on the ceramic
dial with laser, resulting in the
high-contrast effect.

It’s a serious diving watch. A helium

release valve lets out the pressure
that could push out a watch’s crystal
when surfacing from a dive. The
conical-shaped valve (positioned at
10 o’clock) is specially designed
with double gaskets for extra
protection. “It’s a guarantee that if
the helium escape valve is
accidentally open the watch is still
water resistant,” Kissling says.

PRICE: $8700

Photography by
Philip Le Masurier and
Jeffrey Westbrook

56 menshealth.com.au
 WA T C H S P E C I A L

Seiko Prospex
SRPB53
A cult classic for divers
and watch aficionados,
with a lineage dating back
to the 1960s. Stainless
case, iconic blue-and-red
bezel, water-resistant to
Oris Aquis
200 metres.
Depth Gauge $465
Renowned for its
specialist dive watches,
Oris created this
model with a depth gauge
and a mechanical
movement (with a
38-hour power reserve).
The tungsten bezel
adds durability.
$4000

Mido Ocean Star

Caliber 80
Thanks to its titanium case
and rubber strap, this
Swiss-made watch is both
extremely light and
robust. Its unique
movement provides an
80-hour power reserve.
$ 137 5

Citizen Promaster
Diver
No winding, no battery
– it’s powered by light,
even if you’re exploring
the dark depths.
$525
Victorinox Swiss
Army I.N.O.X.
Professional Diver
Its steel case can
withstand diving to
200 metres, and it’s
protected by a removable
bumper that also
magnifies the dial.
PROP STYLING: KRIS JENSEN/MARK EDWARD INC.

$ 9 50

January 2019 57
 60 SECONDS THAT
DEFINING MOMENTS

In the world of sport and

exploration, a matter of
moments can make all the

CHANGED MY LIFE
difference between glory and
defeat. Here, eight inspiring
men share the flashpoints of
their illustrious careers
By Shane C Kurup

2 3 J U LY 2 017
4 .18 PM

ALESSANDRO DE As I walked up to the platform,

I was thinking, Will the dive be
ROSE EARNS HIS good? Will I get hurt? I just had to
FIRST CLIFF-DIVING tell myself I could do it. Jumping is

VICTORY bizarre: you’re terrified to do it, but

the adrenaline is so addictive that
you want to anyway. I was going
The daredevil diver faces his
through hell as I fell head-first,
fears to triumph at the Red Bull
27m into the sea. It’s scary, but you
Cliff-Diving World Series 2017
also feel like a bird flying through
in his native Italy
the air, and that beats the fear. It DE ROSE WEARS
was over in seconds. Everything TIMEX COMMAND X
RED BULL CLIFF-
changed for me, because I’d never DIVING 54MM RESIN
won anything before. STRAP WATCH $150

58 menshealth.com.au
 WA T C H S P E C I A L

2 7 M AY 2 01 8
4 . 5 3 PM

DANIEL RICCIARDO BEATS

THEODDSTOWINTHE
MONACOGRANDPRIX
The Australian Grand Prix driver overcomes his
engine troubles to take the crown at the world’s
most prestigious Formula 1 race
I listen to music religiously before
I race. My song for Monaco was
Shoota by Playboi Carti. Hip hop
was my genre of choice that day,
but the lyrics of this song were
particularly important. They start
with the words: “Now is my time.”
It was fitting – I believed it was
my time.
When I lost a chunk of power at
lap 28, it was deflating. I thought,
What have I got to do to win this
race? I’d missed out two years
at Monaco; I started to feel I was
destined not to win. But then I
thought, Okay, the cards have been
dealt, and quickly became more
positive. “I’m going to win despite
my disadvantage,” I told myself. It
actually motivated me more.
When I had 50 laps left, however,
I started growing concerned: How
will I finish? How are the tyres going
to last? How can I hold off Sebastian
[Vettel]? So, I set myself a simple
goal – to get through the next 30
laps – because if I was still leading
after that, I knew no one would beat
me. When I crossed the finish line,
I felt an enormous sense of relief
and redemption. Not just for this
race but my previous attempts.
I’d finally won.
RICCIARDO WEARS
TAG HEUER CARRERA
CALIBRE HEUER 01 $7150
 10 S E P T E M B E R 2 01 5
10.0 0 A M

GUILLAUME NERY
FACES DEEP TROUBLE
Pushing himself to the limit at
the 2015 Aida Individual
Depth Championships, the
record-breaking French
freediver nearly loses his life
in the fathomless depths

I was feeling confident after

breaking my own record a few
days earlier with a dive of 126m.
That was just two metres short
of the world record – so, at the
World Championships pre-
competition, I decided to top it
with 129m. During the descent, I
started to feel it was taking too
long. I looked down and didn’t
realise I was already at 134m.
On the way back up, I was
swimming slower for the final
20m before I reached the surface.
Then I blacked out. I don’t
remember what happened next.
My safety divers brought me up: I
wasn’t breathing, so they tried to
revive me. I’d spent three minutes
and 40 seconds underwater.
Slowly, I regained consciousness,
but my lungs were damaged. I
looked at the dive computer and
what I saw was terrifying – it had
logged me at 139m. I didn’t make
the record because I blacked out,
but the near-death experience
made me decide it was time
to stop breaking records.

NÉRY WEARS PANERAI

LUMINOR SUBMERSIBLE 1950
AMAGNETIC 3 DAYS
AUTOMATIC TITANIO $14,950

60 menshealth.com.au

2 0 M AY 2 01 3
1 .01 P M
KENTON COOL CONQUERS
THE ROOF OF THE WORLD
The explorer becomes the first climber to summit three
Himalayan peaks in one push, facing tragedy in the process
We climbed Nuptse first,
which was much harder than
I’d expected – it took about 18
hours. The following day, we
climbed Everest, which actually
went very smoothly. But things
became complicated on Lhotse,
the final peak. On this climb,
we found ourselves involved in
an attempt to save a person’s
life – a Taiwanese climber called
Mr Li. I spent all night trying to
resuscitate him after he went into
cardiac arrest, but I failed to keep
him alive. He died in my arms at
around four in the morning.
That had a profound effect
WA T C H S P E C I A L
on me. I just wanted to quit,
there and then. It was my Sherpa
friend Dorje who said, “There’s
nothing we can do about it. Let’s
finish what we started”. When
we reached the summit, it was 2 6 M A R C H 2 017
snowing so hard you couldn’t see
10.0 2 A M
anything. At that moment,
I thought, Thank God, let’s
just get it over with. Let’s get DUSTIN
down. The death of Mr Li had
JOHNSON
thrown me out of kilter mentally,
and I just wanted to be out of it. MAKES
When I got back to base camp GOLFING
and sat down with a beer, I
COOL WEARS MONTBLANC
HISTORY
remember thinking, Did I just do 1858 AUTOMATIC
that? Did that actually happen? CHRONOGRAPH $6130 Victorious at the WGC-Dell
Match Play, the world No. 1
becomes the first golfer in
history to have won each
of the four World Golf
Championships
The WGC-Dell Technologies Match
Play is a great but gruelling five days.
It’s a test of your physical and mental
fitness, particularly as you play
so many rounds. I started with my
confidence at an all-time high. I
cruised through my first five matches,
but the weekend was tough. Hideto
Tanihara played really well in our
semi-final match and kept it close
until the end but, fortunately, I
survived. My final match against Jon
Rahm was wild, and I eventually won
with a slim one-up lead.
I felt immense pride when
I realised what
I’d accomplished,
especially as I was
the first to do it.
Winning these
matches is never
easy and
always a huge
achievement.
JOHNSON WEARS
HUBLOT BIG BANG
UNICO GOLF $40,600
January 2019 61
5 M A RCH 1990 On the morning of my eighth every spare minute was spent
0 7.0 5 A M birthday I hopped out of bed and kicking goals from all angles.
walked down the hallway to the I would practise from in front,

DAN CARTER kitchen. My dad, Neville, gestured then move to where I had to

GETSABIRTHDAY over his shoulder towards our

large backyard, indicating I
PRESENTTHAT should take a look. Standing
SETSHISLIFE there, gleaming in the morning
kick over two fences to clear the
crossbar. I’ve just got so many
memories of playing and kicking
with my dad and my best friends

COURSE sun, was a pair of professionally

made rugby posts, expertly
for hours and hours. The entire
skillset I showed as an
painted in the blue and white of All Black came from
The wide-eyed boy might
our local club, Southbridge. the countless hours
never have become an
Now at that stage I already of fun and joy I had
All Black great but for the
loved rugby and mucked around in the backyard.
object that appeared one
with a ball whenever I could. But
day in his backyard
in that minute when I saw those
posts and imagined how I would
use them, my future was set. CARTER WEARS A
TAG AQUARACER
They redoubled my obsession 300M CALIBRE 5
with placekicking. From then on WATCH; $3500

1 3 AU G U S T 2 016 The Americans had never lost
1 1 . 5 1 PM the 4x100m medley relay in
Olympic history and, deep down,
I had a good feeling we were
MICHAEL PHELPS going to win. I wanted to enjoy
BOWSOUTONA that last race, that last walk
mine, and I knew how to use it
to my advantage. There were
some great competitors in the
mix, and I was certain that if I was
close to anyone at the final 50m,
we’d have it in the bag. It was my

GOLDENHIGH out, that last medal ceremony.

History’s most decorated
Olympian brings home
gold in his final race as
a member of Team USA
I wanted to grasp every single
emotion and take a mental photo
of that moment.
I knew when I dived in that
I needed to catch up with
people. The breaststroke leg
by Team GB’s Adam Peaty was
unbelievable, and Australia
had a good front half. I started
by getting as far as I could
underwater – it’s a strength of
moment to get ahead. I knew we
would win.
I remember hitting the last
wall almost smiling. To be able
to share the podium with the
men in my team, who counted on
each other to do a job and earn
that gold, is an amazing feeling.
There’s no better way to cap off PHELPS WEARS OMEGA
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62 menshealth.com.au
 WA T C H S P E C I A L

31 O C T O B E R 2 01 5
2 . 16 P M

MAX WHITLOCK
MAKES HISTORY AT
THE 2015 WORLD
CHAMPIONSHIPS

The gymnast becomes the first

British man to win gold on the
pommel horse at the World
Gymnastics Championships

I had recently recovered from

glandular fever and had something
to prove to myself, as I hadn’t
competed well all year. I felt
pressure, because it was a home
competition in Glasgow, and we had
a lot of support. I made the pommel
1 5 J U LY 2 014 final and reached the top eight,
5 .01 P M but the crazy thing is that, walking
through the tunnel, my coach and

ASH DYKES COMESCLOSE I decided to change my routine

to increase the difficulty level and
TODEATHCROSSING improve my start score. I increased
THEGOBIDESERT it by a tenth: it’s a small margin, but
it elevates the risk factor. We felt it
was the right move to make at that
The self-taught adventurer almost dies alone in DYKES WEARS
BALL WATCH point, but the pressure went up.
the Gobi Desert during a 2400-km, unsupported
COMPANY ENGINEER II That moment stands out for me,
expedition from west to east Mongolia MAGNETO S $5000
because I went and performed that
routine to the level I wanted
After walking for weeks, I was situation was to stand up, strap in lots of fluid. The room filled up to. The difficulty had been
slowly dehydrating myself. The on my 120kg trailer and carry with 11 or 12 people, and they sat raised by a tenth, and I
Gobi was roasting: 40°C and on walking. It was like pulling a there looking at me in a way that actually won by a tenth.
higher. I was delirious, starting concrete block through hell. I got said, “Holy shit, this guy’s just That decision resulted
to hallucinate, and I had a bad my watch out and timed myself, come from the Gobi, walking”. in a gold medal for
temperature. By this point, I’d spending no more than five I took maybe 10 gulps of water, Team GB.
had no more than a litre of hot minutes under the trailer for and I was full because my belly
water to drink for four days. My shade. Then, on the dot, I would had shrunk. I just remember
lips had started to blister; my walk up to 200m. drinking it and closing my eyes
eyes were red and bloodshot. It When I finally reached the and thinking it tasted like a WHITLOCK WEARS
felt as though my insides were community I was aiming for, I was banana milkshake. It was just LONGINES CONQUEST
VHP GOLD COAST
turning to dust – it was awful. taken into a room and collapsed heaven to be able to drink it in 2018 COMMONWEALTH
The only way out of this dark on the bed as the locals brought the shade, under shelter. GAMES $1375

January 2019 63
 2

CHRONOGR APHS

DIAL IT UP
The digital age has called time on
myriad analogue devices, but the
3

chronograph – a timepiece with

an inbuilt mechanical stopwatch –
remains as coveted as ever.
This is your anatomical cheat sheet
on a horological gadget that has
stood the test of time
7
Photography by Philip Le Masurier

1 BREITLING SUPEROCEAN
HERITAGE II CHRONOGRAPH
44, $8120 5
2 TISSOT CHRONO XL
CLASSIC $525
3 LUMINOX NAVY SEAL
BLUE DIAL $825
6
4 RAYMOND WEIL FREELANCER
CHRONOGRAPH $3895
5 BELL & ROSS BRV2-94
GARDE COSTES $6250
6 TUDOR BLACK BAY
CHRONO $6070
7 RADO HYPERCHROME
CHRONOGRAPH $2075

64 menshealth.com.au
 WA T C H S P E C I A L

What
The dial’s aestthetics may be what
initially catchees your eye, but it’s the
intricate mechanisms
hanisms beneath the
surface that make everything work in
harmony, like the submerged legs of a
graceful swan. The complex workings
of the chronograph are a mystery to
most, but dissect one and you’ll find
that it makes more sense.
When they’re activated by the
pusher, levers under the dial pull the
wheels of the chronograph into motion.
Among the most important of these
is the column wheel, which rotates
with every click of the pusher. This,
in turn, moves the clutch, a device
that controls the transfer of energy to
the mechanism.
These are usually horizontal, but the
true watch snob wants a timepiece
with a vertical clutch. Although not as
pretty to look at, its gears are always
interlocked (with a horizontal clutch,
the gears work separately), resulting in
a far smoother pusher action and less
wear on the movement.
But that’s not all a chronograph can
do. It may also include a timer to record
your laps: a gear train is driven by two
mainspring barrels, which spring back
and start timing once a third button is
pushed, while the other hand clocks
the seconds. This is the ultimate
horological multitasker.

ON THE
BUTTON
As has been
established,
chronographs do
more than tell the
time – but some The
he Louis Moinet Compteur The Breitling Cosmonaute The Piaget Alt
l iplano
have made history, de Tierces US astronaut Scott Carpenter Chronograph
In 2012, a timepiece sold at an took Breitling to infinity and Measuring just 8.24mm in
quite literally
auction proved that French beyond when he wore its height, this horological marvel
scaling new heights watchmaker Louis Moinet had Navitimer Cosmonaute on manages to fit in four hands
invented the first chronograph in Nasa’s Mercury-Atlas 7 looping over one another – and,
1816 – five years earlier than mission, making it the first with a 4.6mm- thick movement,
previously thought – to measure chronograph in space. it is the thinnest chronograph in
astronomical movements. the world.

January 2019 65
 GROOMING

Excess 1
AFTER A HIKE
2
AFTER AN
3
AFTER THOSE

Strategy
The outdoors is great XMAS PARTY 4AM JÄGERBOMBS
for your cardio, not to
You need coffee, but It’s no secret that booze
mention your soul. But
not to drink – you’ll only is dehydrating. What’s
exposure to the sun can
worsen the dark circles, less known is that your
cause redness even if
says Steven O’Neill, co- skin clings to water as a
you swerve the burn,
founder of Grooming result. Reduce puffiness
says Jack Smithies,
Summer bodies may be built in winter, Clinic. The caffeine in with a facial ice bath,
grooming expert at
Clarins’s serum will shift says Smithies, then
but sunshine and good times can undo Mankind. The anti-
panda eyes, while its apply this water-based
inflammatory inflacin
the hard work – and your skin is the first bison grass extract serum to “instantly
in these wipes is your
will brighten your skin. revitalise skin”.
thing to betray the damage. Here’s how friend: dab away to
If only it did the same Lab Series Solid Water
even out skin tone and
to combat the signs of holiday excess for your mood. Essence, $67,
pink cheeks.
ClarinsMen Anti- myer.com.au
BY TOM BANHAM AND KATE NIVEN ColbertMD Tone
Fatigue Eye Serum,
1 Control Facial Discs,
$52, clarins.com.au
$116, mecca.com.au

4 5
AFTER FIVE HOURS AFTER Face
AT THE CRICKET YOUR FLIGHT Timer
KEEP SKIN TIGHT
2 Hard-core tanning All that recirculated WITH THIS MANUAL
can lead to an cabin air leaves your FACELIFT FROM
overproduction skin drier than a PROVERB SKIN ‘S
of melanin, discarded thong. The KIRSTIE SHERRIFF
littering skin with solution? Hyaluronic
hyperpigmentation. acid. “It holds up
“Prevention is better to 1000 times its
than cure,” says O’Neill, weight in water,” says
but if you have skimped O’Neill. Thankfully,
on SPF, Murad’s the Dr Dennis Gross
purifying plankton Hyaluronic Marine Oil- Neck Extension 4 reps
extract will treat Free Moisture Cushion Lift your chin and hold
dark spots. is brimming with it. briefly. Dip it 5cm,
Murad Rapid Age Dr Dennis Gross bounce back
Spot Correcting Hyaluronic Marine Oil- up and hold.
Serum, $105, Free Moisture Cushion, That’s one rep.
murad.com.au $88, mecca.com.au

3
Facial Press 4 reps
With your fingertips
4 against your jaw, drive
them up your face for
a natural cheek lifter.

Eye Lift 4 reps

With your thumbs on
your temples,
squeeze your hands
together to create
gentle pressure.

COOL
PHOTOGRAPHY: PHILIP LE MASURIER

HEADED
To avoid an oily scalp
in the heat, swap 5
wax-based hair Forehead Fly 4 reps
Pull your hands apart
products for water- to gently stretch the
soluble ones skin on your forehead.
proverbskin.com

66 menshealth.com.au
For local stockist enquiries | Australia 1300 764 437 | New Zealand 0800 456 426 | info@sabre-group.com
GROOMING

Lose the Tie to DRESS LIKE A BOSS

THESE HIGH-FLIERS PROVE THAT

Smarten Up
YOU CAN GO CASUAL AND WIN

DR DRE
Beats Electronics CEO
Your power suit might actually Net worth: $1.06b
The rapper’s journey
be weakening your chances of from recording studio to
boardroom has been made
promotion. Go casual to secure almost exclusively in a
a cognitive sharpener crew neck and jeans.

BY LOUEE DESSENT-JACKSON
JÜRGEN KLOPP
Liverpool FC manager
Net worth: $38m
DRESSING FOR THE JOB you want With the German’s ward-
is an old office trope: a smart suit, robe based purely on
Liverpool training
we’ve long been led to believe, will help kit, he has led his team
you climb the career ladder. We may to the brink of greatness.
have recently lauded the tie’s return
to form in the sartorial stakes – and,
in a social setting, there’s no smarter
accessory – but some T-shirt-wearing
scientists now believe that your perfect
MARK ZUCKERBERG
half-Windsor knot is constricting your Facebook founder
DON’T LET OFFICE
workplace progress. Net worth: $122b
ATTIRE DEFLATE YOUR
For your next promotion-worthy The CEO refuses to don
PROMOTION CHANCES. anything smarter than
presentation, the intelligent option is to
a T-shirt and jeans
adopt the athleisure look of the Silicon – and his bank balance
Valley start-up executives. According hasn’t suffered for it.
to a recent study in Neuroradiology, the
jugular compression caused by your
necktie is strangling your brainpower.
German researchers ran MRI scans
on both tie-wearing and bare-necked
volunteers, and recorded a 7.5 per cent
reduction in blood flow to the brain in
those who were knotted up.
Unsurprisingly, anything that
stops the flow of nutrients and
oxygen to your brain is bad news
for idea generation and quick,
critical thinking. Furthermore,
specialists at the New York Eye and
Ear Infirmary revealed neckties
can increase pressure inside
your eyes and linked habitual tie-
wearing to long-term damage of
your optic nerves.
If your office dress code offers
some wiggle room, this is your
excuse to ditch the tie-pinned
dogma and give your career some
breathing space. Try pairing your
navy suit with a fresh, white crew
neck for a stylish transition, then
PHOTOGRAPH: JOBE LAWRENSON

start making designs on that

management role. It’s time you
loosened up.

68 menshealth.com.au
3 months after
buying a used car
shouldn’t feel like...

And it won’t with a Toyota Certified Pre-Owned Vehicle. Ask your local authorised Toyota Dealer why
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CERTIFIEDFORLIVINGLIFETOTHEFULL
MH CERTIFIED FISHING TRIP TIPS
Before you go, get online and find out
where the fish are.
• Fuel up and check your car’s oil, water,
tyres and washer fluid.
FIED BY
R TI • If you’re not a pro fisherman, rent or
LESS HASSLE,
• CE

borrow some gear.

•

MORE LIFE • Don’t forget the basics - rod, fishing

line, bait, net, a hat, sunscreen and
Toyota Certified Pre- a torch for later.
Owned Vehicles take the • In case the fish aren’t biting, pack some
hassle out of buying a snacks as a back-up (S&V chips, anyone?).
used car so you can get • A pack of cards passes the time
on with doing the more between nibbles.
fun stuff in life, such • An esky full of ice - it’ll keep your drinks
as spending time with cool and your catch of the day even cooler!
your mates. So we’ve
jumped on board to help
you do just that with our
Men’s Health certified Get the boys
tips to putting together a
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together and you’ll
checklist, get the boys be counting your
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then you’ll be counting
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your catch in no time.
WWW.TOYOTA.COM.AU/USED-CARS
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January 2019 73
74 menshealth.com.au
 SEIZE YOUR SUMMER

SE I Z E
YOU R
SU M M E R
The days are long and the weather is warm.
Science suggests you’ll have more fun training outdoors,
so why not raise a sweat in the sun and then refuel on
the best summer produce afterwards? Read on to
find the workout and the foods that’ll allow
you to hit the sand, running

January 2019 75

YOUR RED-HOT
SU MMER
OF F I T N E S S
Beach season is here. But rather than take your foot off
the gas, elevate your conditioning to the next level with
our pick of outdoor workouts. Whatever your preferred
training method, we’ve got you covered
BY EMILY ABBATE
1 MINUTE
Drop and Give Us 20
(or More)
Push-ups are a quick, efficient
way to target the pecs, deltoids
and triceps – and you won’t look
silly on your lawn. See how
many you can crank out in 60
seconds. Lead with your chest
rather than your hips or your
neck, suggests Zack Daley,
training manager at Tone House
gym. You’re working quickly, so
get the most out of your minute
76 menshealth.com.au
MUSCLE
with good form: avoid tilting
your head up and keep your
neck aligned with your spine.
Work on grass if you can, too;
it’ll be softer on your hands
than concrete.
Try the Tree Sit
Yes, like the wall kind.
Make sure your back is flush
to the trunk of a tree, sit until
your thighs are parallel to
the ground, and stay there
for 60 seconds of hamstring
and quad hell. Watch your
form, says trainer Ben
Sweeney, a trainer at Brick
gym. Press through your
heels and squeeze your
glutes so you don’t let your
knees cave in.
Hit the Bench
Find yourself a beachside
bench, but don’t take a seat.
Instead, get ready for a box
jump with a twist from Kenny
Santucci, coach and general
manager at Solace gym. Rather
than jump forward onto the
bench, try the lateral version:
line up with your right side near
the bench, then jump up and
onto it. Land softly, then jump
off it on the other side. Repeat
for 60 seconds. If the bench has
a back, do this facing one way
for 30 seconds, then face the
other way for 30 seconds.
Sprint in the Sand
Running on sand can expend
1.6 times as much energy as on a
hard surface. Translation: sick
kilojoule- and quad-burning!
Take off your sneakers and set
them about 20 metres apart.
Run from one sneaker to the
next for a minute; see how
many runs you can finish before
time is up.
Do Tree Chin-ups
Spending time in the bush
may lower your pulse and blood
pressure, according to
Japanese scientists. That’s cool,
but before you get too relaxed,
put in some work. Raise your
pulse by doing this: find a sturdy
branch, hang from it with an
overhand grip, and do as many
chin-ups as you can in 1 minute.
If you’re struggling, do 1 or 2
reps, drop to the ground,
breathe and then jump back
onto the branch and fight
through more reps. You’re
outdoors – no rules!

5
MINUTES
Carry an Esky
a Long Way
Loaded carries are a great
way to build strength, and
your esky stocked with beer
won’t move itself. That gives
trainer Chad Raynor, an idea:
pick up your esky (or grab two
eskies), let your arm hang at
your side with it, and walk for 5
minutes (or until you get from
the beach to your spot in the
car park – whichever takes
longer). Make sure to draw in
your navel, and try to squeeze
your shoulder blades. That’s
optimal form (and it’ll get you
to an optimal beach bod).
Take a Walk
Just 5 minutes of walking in
green space can be enough to
reduce stress and get you
more motivated to stay active,
according to an analysis in the
journal Environmental Science
& Technology. So take a stroll.
Bonus points if you find a body
of water on your walk. Those in
the study who exercised
within view of a lake or river
experienced a mental lift from
that, too.
Embrace the Burpee
It’s debatable whether the
dreaded burpee is more or
less fun in the sun, but it’s
effective anywhere. Set a
timer for 5 minutes. Do 10 to 15
burpees each minute; if you
finish early, rest and breathe
until the next minute starts.
You’ll wind up doing 50 to 75
total burpees in your own
personal light-speed
boot-camp session.
Walk the Grass Plank
Instead of snoozing in your
backyard, see if you can
withstand a series of planks.
They’re one of the most
effective core exercises, and
they’re perfect if you have
back pain. Your challenge:
hold your plank for 5 minutes.
Spend the first minute in a
standard forearm plank, then
shift into a right-side plank for
the second, a left-side plank
for the third, and back to a
standard plank for the final
2 minutes. Up the ante by
wearing a weight vest.
SEIZE YOUR SUMMER
15 MINUTES
Jog to a Friend’s House
A large study shows that even a
small amount of jogging daily can
dramatically improve a person’s
health. Among the benefits: a
lowered risk of stroke and heart
disease. So leave your car, lace up
your sneakers and jog to your
mate’s barbecue.
Climb This Ladder
Got 15 minutes? Do this
body-weight challenge from
US MH fitness editor Ebenezer
Samuel. Set a timer, then do 5
push-ups, 5 squats and 1 burpee in
the first minute. In the second, do
5 push-ups, 5 squats and 2
burpees; keep adding 1 burpee
each minute. Stop the workout
either when 15 minutes is up or
when you can’t finish the full
burpee workload.
Run the Stands
That drill your high-school footy
coach used to whip you into
shape still works. Head to a footy
ground with a grandstand. After a
warm up, sprint up a set of stairs,
2 steps per stride. Work on
mechanics: lift your knees high
and land on the balls of your feet.
Walk back down, using that time
to recover, suggests celebrity
trainer Jason Walsh. Sprint up
again; do as many sets as you can
in 15 minutes.
Hit the Sand
Training in the sand is natural for
the three soccer pros behind
SoccerShape, a class that
combines strength training and
cardio with challenging drills.
Try their no-equipment workout:
do 12 lunges, 20 squat jacks, 16
push-ups, 10 single-leg deadlifts
per leg and 10 tuck jumps. Then set
up a series of 5 markers about 10
metres apart. Run from the first
marker to the second and back, to
the third and back, and so on.
That’s 1 round. Can you finish
3 rounds in 15 minutes?
January 2019 77
FIT IN FOUR WEEKS

THE WEDDING

60
(CRASH) COU RT D O CU M EN TS
How did writer Ben Court
shed 7.5kg in 4 weeks to fit
Ben Court
into his nuptial suit? Height: 188cm
With some dietary tweaks Starting weight:
from nutritionist Dr Mike 97.5kg
Roussell – and some suffering Ending weight:
90kg

WEEK 1
Diet: I replaced a giant breakfast bowl of cereal with 1
MINUTES
serving of Greek yoghurt and a handful of berries and
walnuts, and had protein and salad or vegetables for
Hit the Trail

30
lunch and dinner. I cut out all fried foods and snacked
on apricots, dates and water. Try this one with a friend. Kick
Workout: I took high-intensity-interval-training up the intensity on a hike by
classes 3 times per week and did a 60-minute active- occasionally throwing in light
recovery walk (or cardio) on other days. downhill jogs when the
Tip: Lifting heavy before HIIT workouts will help you opportunity strikes,
retain muscle, says Roussell. So do 3 sets of 3-5 reps of recommends ultramarathoner
deadlifts, bench presses and squats. Dylan Bowman. “You’ll be able
W EIGHT: 97.5-95kg SUFFER SCA LE: 7/10
to cover ground much more
quickly and have a blast doing
WEEK 2 it,” he says.
Diet: Bye-bye, booze! I started limiting alcohol: no
MINUTES
more than 4 drinks total per week. To stave off
boredom, I ate more grilled seafood and spicy fare. Lay Some Brick
Workout: A change in office location left me without a Bring your bike and running
gym, so I missed all my HIIT training and lifting.
Tip: To replace the ritual of the evening drink, try soda Spice Up Your Sprints shoes to what triathletes call a
“brick” workout – biking
water on the rocks with a splash of bitters in the early Find yourself a local hill and followed by running. Start with a
evening, then move on to hot water with a squeeze of tackle 1-minute sprint-up, 20-minute relaxed bike ride,
lemon juice. 1-minute jog-down repeats. then challenge yourself. Work
W EIGHT: 95-94kg SUFFER SCA LE: 9/10 After 15 of these suckers, you’ll through 10 intervals in which
be feeling a new kind of burn. you go all out for 1 minute
WEEK 3 “This is the elevated burn of and then pedal easily for
Diet: I cut out all alcohol. But breakfast was getting old! having to work against 30 seconds, suggests Jesse
So I alternated Skyr with Greek yoghurt and cottage propulsive forces – which Kropelnicki, the founder of QT2
cheese and swapped in mangoes and chia seeds. increase with incline,” says Systems, an endurance-training
Roussell also shook up my snack mix, adding jerky and David Siik, creator of Precision coaching company. After
instant-miso-soup mix. Running at Equinox. Yep, uphill 10 more minutes of relaxed
Workout: I did a 3-times-a-week circuit from trainer is hard. biking, ditch the cycle and run
Alwyn Cosgrove. It’s similar to this one, which you can for 15 minutes. Fight to keep the
try: walk 30 metres with a 10 or 15kg weight in your
right hand, then do 20 push-ups. Walk back with the Tackle a 5K Race first 10 minutes up-tempo, then
jog easily to cool down.
weight in your left hand, then do 18 weighted jumps. A little friendly competition
never hurt anybody. In fact, one
Repeat this, decreasing your reps by 2 after each walk,
until you reach zero. study says competing against Try a Tempo Run
Tip: To counter cravings, Roussell suggests others may be more effective Distance runners get
distractions. When you think about food, don’t eat; do for boosting physical activity race-ready with “tempo”
10 push-ups. Or put on a tight jacket to remind you of than having friends cheer you workouts, usually defined as
your motivation. on. So register for a 5K with comfortably hard. Try this
W EIGHT: 94-92kg SUFFER SCA LE: 10/10 some mates and place a small 60-minute version of one of
wager on who will finish first or Tracksmith running coach
WEEK 4 who will improve the most. Louis Serafini’s tempo
Diet: Roussell reinstated the 4-drinks-a-week rule, but I
Winner buys the post-race workouts: start with a 20-minute
did not lift the fried-foods ban. I was starving, so he burgers or pizza. run at a pace that allows you to
added half a scoop of protein to my breakfast. I had 1 cup talk, then do 5 minutes of
of pistachios (in shells) as a snack option. Why? They
take time to eat.
Weight Your Chores stretches and a few light
strides. Now the hard part:
Workout: I stuck with the same workout from Week Snag a weighted vest or ankle spend the next 20 minutes
3, subbing kettlebell swings for push-ups to keep weights and throw on a few alternating between fast-paced
things fresh. extra kilos while you get things 2-minute intervals (you
Tip: Schedule rewards, like a massage or a fancy cut done around the house. Taking shouldn’t be able to talk through
of steak. Or when you do drink, enhance the quality out the trash, mowing the lawn these) and slightly slower
of the wine. and walking the dog become 3-minute runs. End with a
W EIGHT: 92-90kg SUFFER SCA LE: 8/10 stealth workouts. 15-minute easy cooldown.

78 menshealth.com.au

YOUR LAST-MINUTE
BEACH-BODY PUMP
ADMIT IT: You glance in the mirror
before heading to the beach.
Let’s get you looking your best.
This workout from celebrity
trainer Joe Dowdell blends
postural moves to make you
stand (and walk) taller with
high-rep exercises that will pump
up your glamour muscles (chest,
biceps) for several minutes. Do it
as a circuit, resting 15 seconds
between moves. Rest for 60
seconds after a round and try to
do at least 2 rounds.
Improve Your Posture
Single-leg glute bridge
Lie on your back, feet flat on the
floor, knees up. Lift your left foot
off the floor and straighten your
left leg. This is the starting
position. Now tighten your glutes
and raise your torso off the floor,
trying to keep your thighs in line
with your torso. Squeeze for
1 second, then take
2 seconds to lower your torso
back to the start. That’s 1 rep; do
12 per leg.
SEIZE YOUR SUMMER
Pump Up Your Chest
Tempo push-up
Start in push-up position,
arms slightly wider than
shoulder width, core tight.
Lower your chest until it’s a few
centimetres from the ground;
take 2 seconds to do this. Take 2
seconds to return to the start.
That’s 1 rep; do 20.
Forge A Jacked Back
Chin-up
Hang from a bar with a
shoulder-width underhand grip.
Keeping your core tight, pinch
your shoulder blades together
and pull your chest towards the
bar. Take 2 seconds to lower
yourself to the start. That’s 1 rep;
do 10-12.
Build Your Biceps
Resistance-band curl
Stand with your feet on the
centre of a medium-heavy
resistance band and grasp its
ends with your hands, palms
facing forward. Keeping your
upper arms perpendicular to
the floor, curl the resistance
band upwards; take 2 seconds
to do this. Return to the start;
take 2 seconds to do this. That’s
1 rep; do 12-15.
January 2019 79
 Zuc ni Flowers
Theyh h e ica sl
textureaandasu ubtle hflavour,
hfl
which
wh h m esth d lforstuffingn .
favou
urite is
isfil
filli
fil mw hmoz are la
andumamia i-rich h hov
v folllo edby
aq
qu kfry y inav
aveeryli t err.
— ELIZAB A U,
coaauthor of Honeyy Sal
Saltt C k

NUTRITION

GE T
F R E SH
Farmers-market tables groan.
Backyard veggie patches spill over
with homegrown glory. And
everyone is trying to give you
lemons. The season for fresh,
healthful eating is here. Stock your
kitchen with these picks from the
authors of summer’s best
new cookbooks
PHOTOGRAPHY BY TED CAVANAUGH

Mint
It is delicious mixed in leafy green
or grain salads, with a morning
yoghurt, or in a fruit salad.
It can be muddled into a cocktail
or steeped in a teapot for a
late-night calming drink.
—LESLIE JONATH,
author of Feed Your People

80 menshealth.com.au
 SEIZE YOUR SUMMER

Melons
Go to a produce market and
buy as many varieties as you can.
I keep containers of seeded, cut-up
rockmelon and watermelon in the refrig-
erator as instant thirst quenchers. I also
love to combine chunks of melon with
mint and puree them in the blender to
make a juice, which can be
kept in jugs for parties
or frozen into ice pops.
—LJ

Peaches
They’re made for the grill. The heat
elevates a near-perfect fruit into the
flavour stratosphere. I started doing
them with grilled sobrassada (a
loose, paprika-spiked sausage from
Spain), but you can lay slices
of prosciutto or jamón over the top
and still be very happy.
—MATT GOULDING,
author of Pasta, Pane, Vino

Tomatoes
The BLT is the world’s greatest
sandwich, but when peak summer
tomatoes hit, the B and L become
superfluous. Instead, I like to spread
a thick layer of mayo (or Japanese
Kewpie) on lightly toasted bread
and top with a few thick slices of
tomato, coarse salt and plenty of
cracked pepper.
—MG

January 2019 81
HOW TO MAKE:
Beets
Beetroot Hummus I buy beetroots year-round,
but in the summer months
What you’ll need: they just taste better.
1 can chickpeas, rinsed and I add them to smoothies,
drained
hummus, salads, and even
1 medium beetroot, roasted, muffins. And don’t chuck the beet
peeled and quartered
tops. I love to saute beet greens
1 garlic clove
with olive oil, garlic, and salt,
2 Tbsp tahini and serve them as a side.
3 Tbsp fresh lemon juice
—LJ
¼ cup extra-virgin olive oil
¾ tsp fine sea salt

Optional garnishes: chopped

coriander, sea salt, olive oil
How to make it:
In a food processor combine
the chickpeas, beetroot, garlic,
tahini, lemon juice, olive oil
and salt. Process on high
until smooth. Transfer to a
serving bowl and garnish with
chopped coriander, sea salt
and/or a drizzle of olive oil, if
In ve I ever,eatsweet
desired. Serve with pita chips, cornany y er fyear.Only
fy
grilled bread or carrot sticks. summerr.Ius
I su ly t ears
the
Makes about 2 cups whole. h th hu urn
ned
e
—Elyse Kopecky, coauthor of allover,th redone. e. mee cha
c r
Run Fast. Cook Fast. Eat Slow. onthe ls,peel h k
f thelastfe inu .
—DAVID
V JO
coauthor of Mastering Pizza

Slather homemade
eggplant-garlic-
tahini dip on
anything or eat it
with a spoon

Egg
gs
Eggsarerenutrient-dense n ana dccantaste
bettterwhenthechickens e s ar
a eroam ng g
freeandeatingth rna atur
tu al
a diet.
Eggsareoneofthemost o pep fectfoods Eggplant
foracttivegguys
uy ,prov din ng an
anide
i albal-
I normally hate eggplant – friends
anceo ofprot andfat.a PoP ac them.
call it my purple kryptonite – but
Sc amb
Scr blethem
m. u ny- ny sid
i e-u
e pthem.
in the summer, I toss it on the grill,
t eatt theem!
char it into oblivion, then peel it
—EK and mash it with garlic, tahini and
olive oil. Slather it on anything
or eat it with a spoon.
—MG

82 menshealth.com.au
 SEIZE YOUR SUMMER

HOW TO:

Roast a Side of Salmon

1 Position your oven racks in the bottom third
and centre of the oven. Preheat the oven to
95°C. Put a baking pan half-filled with warm
water on the bottom rack.

2 Brush a baking sheet with oil. Place a side

of salmon (about a kilo), pin bones removed,
skin side down, on the sheet. Brush the fish
with oil and season with salt and pepper.

3 Bake the fish until slightly firm to the touch,

so the tip of a small, sharp knife easily flakes
the flesh, 1 to 1½ hours, depending on the
thickness of the fillet. Remove the salmon
from the oven and let cool slightly, then
transfer to a platter. Feeds 8 —L.J. Salmon
My go-to dish for summer
gatherings is a slow-roasted salmon
with garlic mayonnaise. A side of
salmon is so easy to make, can be
served room temperature or cold,
Mussels and can feed a lot of people. Serve
it with bowls of steamed carrots,
Moules frites has got to be
beans or potatoes. You can also buy
the most easygoing meal ever.
cold-smoked salmon, which is great
Simmer mussels in wheat beer
in salads or on toast with capers and
or blond ale and serve them
sliced onions for a quick snack. —LJ
with fries. Done. Drunken
summer in a bowl.
—DJ

Crab
Here’s your excuse to eat
a bunch of butter. Steam some crab
and dip it in melted butter. Or try picked
crabs on pizza with multicoloured roasted
capsicum, chopped chillies,
fresh herbs like dill and tarragon,
a little lemon juice and buffalo
mozzarella.
—DJ

HOW TO:

Lobster
The sweet yet briny meat
is the perfect match for a warm day
on the coast. There are countless
ways to prepare lobster, but I’ve
found that butter poaching
FOOD STYLING: JAMIE KIMM
Butter-Poach Lobster
In a large pan over medium-low heat,
melt 4 sticks of unsalted butter. Add
2 lobster tails, cut lengthwise. Cook,
turning the lobster and basting with
butter frequently, until the shells are red
and the meat is cooked through, 10 to
15 minutes. Remove the meat from the
shells and serve with a sprinkle of sea
salt, lemon wedges and chopped fresh

supports the rich sea flavour and parsley, accompanied by crusty bread
luscious texture no matter what and white wine. Feeds 2 —EB
the endgame recipe.
—EB

January 2019 83
84 menshealth.com.au
 HEALTH

The digital age was supposed to

democratise opinion, giving everyone
a platform to express themselves.
Instead it’s spawned a new breed of
malcontent that delights in filling
online forums with bile and baiting
others into flame wars. But what
happens when a self-professed
keyboard warrior lays down his
weapons and becomes an avatar
for online optimism?
BY BEN SMITHURST

January 2019 85
 I LOVE COMMENTS SECTIONS. I have many favourites.
I know that the Disqus chatter at surf site Beachgrit.com is
the most fun. I know the Facebook posts by a popular
morning show are a river of gold. I like Fox Sports for
sledging about football and Reddit cesspit The_Donald for
pro-Trump buffoonery. I will pile into literally any cricket
forum for ALL CAPS FLAME WARS with men in Kolkata
whose profile picture is Sachin Tendulkar. But the social
media threads below political posts in the Murdoch press
are even more fun, and the ones for The Australian are,
for me, the most fun of all.
It is a sort of hell, all bursting
with old men shouting at the
UN Intergovernmental Panel
on Climate Change to get off
their lawn. But if you’re the
sort of person who likes having
online scraps with people who
admire Janet Albrechtsen, it is a
paradise. So: I love it. Or I did.
Until a month ago, it was my
playground; a battlefield where
I picked my fights, wading in
like some basement-dwelling
keyboard warrior, except I
don’t live in a basement and am
hilarious, obviously. I zinged
my foes with one killer truth
bomb after another. And the
Likes flooded in! Sometimes
half a dozen! Sometimes 10!
86 menshealth.com.au
Sometimes one. (Thanks Mum.)
Or, you know . . . none.
Yeah. And so, slowly, it
dawned on me: maybe I’m
not hilarious. Maybe I’m not
changing minds with my rapier
wit and pinpoint snark. Maybe
I’m just an asinine, garden-
variety, digital-age wanker. A
low-fi troll. And so, 35 days ago, I
decided to go cold turkey.
No more trolling.
Digital Sainthood
For an entire month, I will
spread digital cheer only. No
days off. No knee-jerk reactions,
no using friends’ daily musings
as set-ups for piss-taking. I’ll
leave upbeat comments on
forums and message boards.
I’ll engage positively and
constructively with people to
whom I’m ideologically opposed,
leave complimentary reviews
on restaurant and company
websites, and ‘Like’ every
goddamn baby photo of friends
on Facebook and Instagram.
At first, it’s easy. I begin,
ignoring every irritating social
media nugget that would
previously have triggered my
scorn: social media PDAs,
pictures of cafe breakfasts,

use of the terms ‘hubby’ or
‘wifey’. People transparently
trying to become ‘Influencers’
by taking lots of Instagram shots
in which they’re holding floppy
straw hats on their heads with
one languid arm. People who
write #takemeback on holiday
photos. People who regram
inspirational fucking quotes in
some whimsical fucking font
. . . like Jesus Christ just make
it stop. I’ve always had a lot
of triggers. I thought this was
because I’m an angry, funny
person. It turns out I’m just an
arsehole. You know who else
probably thinks they’re angry/
funny? Kyle Sandilands.
As a teenager, I was a fan of
taboo-breaking, very angry/
funny Australian comedy trio
The Doug Anthony All-Stars
– Paul McDermott, Tim Ferguson
and Richard Fidler. I recall
hearing a Triple J announcer in
the 1990s describe McDermott,
with obvious affection, as a
man with a list of unspoken
rules in his head. Inadvertently
triggering one of them would
make anyone a target. “He’s
like me!” I’d thought. But Paul
McDermott is actually funny,
and also charming. He now hosts
an ABC quiz show called Think
HEALTH
Tank! I need to know more
about trolling.
I ask Alice Fraser. She’s
“The interface of the
also actually funny – she’s a
comedian – as well as being a
internet lends itself
to mild sociopathy”
former online moderator for a
major TV network, a current
writer for The Project and the
creator of Troll Play. It’s a podcast
about “the weirdest, maddest
and baddest moments in Internet
interaction”. Fraser’s co-hosts and using the comedy as a Recent Pew Research Centre
are Cal Wilson and Sami Shah. screen for cruelty are all totally research suggests that 40 per cent
They’re funny, too. standard deployments.” of web users have been harassed
Trolls might not in themselves in some way, and one in five
be evil, Fraser says, but, “I Australian kids have experienced
think the nature of trolling is Whatsortoftrollareyou? cyberbullying. A 2016 feature
that you’re being a bad person According to a US Omnibus article in The Guardian described
while you’re trolling. It requires Poll, 28 per cent of people have how a million comments in their
being able to detach deliberately admitted to malicious online forums had been deleted for
hurtful words from the fact that activity directed at somebody being abusive over the previous
you’re causing deliberate hurt.” they don’t know. Millennials decade. A fucking million!
The interface of the internet are twice as likely to engage in “I think everyone has the urge
lends itself to that kind of mild trolling than those who to troll”, says Fraser, but that
sociopathy, she adds. “If you’re are over 55, and 12 per cent doesn’t mean every troll is cut
doing it habitually, you’re either admit to “making deliberately from the same cloth.
cultivating that anti-human provocative statements”. “No two people are the
tendency or you’ve got it already.”
Is being funny an excuse? Or,
at least, trying to be funny?
“Plenty of things can
be funny and also
cause pain,” says
LETTERS OF INTENT:
Fraser. “Being mean IS IT TIME YOU
and funny, finding DUSTED YOUR DIGITAL
meanness funny FINGERPRINTS?
January 2019 87
“Going on Twitter to be
agreeable is like joining
Guns N’ Roses to be celibate”
same, but there are certainly
categories,” she adds. “The
majority of trolling is done in a
sort of monomaniacal way
– someone has a political or
artistic ideology, and they’ll take
a swing at anyone they think is
out of line on that front.”
There are also the ‘for the
LOLs’ trolls, she adds, people
who just lack the imagination
to think beyond their own
gratification. “For them, it’s the
satisfaction of stirring an ant’s
nest; profile pics on a screen
absent any of the projected
humanity we grant other bodies
in face-to-face interactions.”
The latter include the worst
of the worst; the doxxers, the
bullies of disaster victims, the
creeps who think rape threats
are funny. Man Haron Monis,
the Lindt Café gunman, was this
sort of troll; he first came to the
attention of police in 2007 for
sending abusive letters to the
families of Australian soldiers
who’d died in Afghanistan.
Offline trolling, per se. But
easy to condemn. I’m not sure
where I fit. I’d always thought
of my online sniping as banter.
A common parlance; the easy
Australian vernacular of piss-
taking. It was second nature. I
just liked wading into comments
sections to mock right-wing
blowhards with sick truth bombs.
But maybe it’s more sinister
than that. Maybe it’s just sick?
Thetyrannyof(false)distance
“Research has shown that most
social media users imagine a
very different audience to the
actual audience reading their
updates,” wrote senior lecturer
in journalism at the University
of the Sunshine Coast, Renee
Barnes, for theconversation.com
88 menshealth.com.au
in June. “We often imagine our
audience as people we associate
with regularly offline. However,
a political statement that may
be supported by close family
and friends could be offensive to
former colleagues in our broader
online network.”
I call Barnes, author of
Uncovering Online Commenting
Culture: Trolls, Fanboys and
Lurkers. She tells me, nicely,
because she is a nice person, that
I am not a very nice person.
“Nasty or uncivil or trolling
behaviour has very nasty
consequences for people,”
she says, “and just because
it’s happening online doesn’t
mean that it doesn’t have real
consequences for people.”
But . . . but . . . what about the
truth bombs?
“Would you say the same
thing offline?,” asks Barnes.
I’d thought so, yes. Now I’m
less certain. “Having one set
of rules for online and offline
[conversations] doesn’t work.
We’re still working out how our
social norms and values play out
in this place . . . [but] to say that
because it’s online it isn’t hurtful
is just not true.”
I talk to Alice Fraser again.
“Wading into the comments
section can feel very satisfyingly
like you’re actually doing
something,” she says, “but I think
if the goal is to score points on the
internet, that is the limit of what
that ‘wading in’ will achieve.
Unless you’re actually going in
with the goal (and rhetorical
tools) to change the discourse,
which requires immense
patience, an unimpeachable
grasp of facts and a solid idea
of where your opposition’s
thinking is coming from, it is
pretty masturbatory. Not that
masturbating in public is a waste
of your own time necessarily,
but it is certainly a waste of
other people’s.”
Reaching out to the enemy
Things are looking up. I track
down all the places my wife and
I stayed on our honeymoon and
leave the excruciatingly overdue
Yelp reviews I’d promised. I rack
my brains for nice meals, trips
and experiences I’ve had, and
give glowing feedback. I up my
instances of positive engagement
dramatically in one-on-one
Facebook comments. I deactivate
Twitter. Going on Twitter to be
agreeable is like joining Guns N’
Roses to be celibate. It’s amiable,
if sort of gruellingly banal
– like an endless series of polite
conversations with your wife’s
work colleagues. But it’s okay. I’m
making progress.
I decide to reach out to half a
dozen real-life ex-colleagues and
acquaintances who’ve defriended
me over the years after I’d said
something particularly shitty/
funny on their walls. I couldn’t
always remember the details of
the incidents; just more grist for
the mill. But I want to say ‘sorry’,
anyway. I’m on a weird sort of
rehab journey.
Four of them never respond.
But one guy does almost
straightaway. First, he claims
to have no recollection of the
incident. Then he says:
You have strong opinions.
But you’re talking to someone
else who also does.
To which I reply:
Am I always an arsehole?
Because I usually think I’m funny,
but actually on reflection I seem
to have been a smug and cruel
git. Sorry, anyway. I feel like I’m at
AA. On the first of 12 steps. Wait,
is apologising the first step? I
think it’s fifth or something.
I know your secret: you’re a shy
guy, who plays outrageous at
social events to cover his shyness.
Then he says:
Being controversial deflects
people from getting closer.
Ouch. But later, he contacts
me again.
Oh, I think I remember now. You
may have been making fun of
one of the rare PDA’s with Claire
or the kids. Maybe I was too
sensitive. But I rarely put myself
out there on social media like
that. All good, water under the
bridge. I’m happy for you – it’s
called growth.
Which I kind of hate. What is
this, fucking Oprah now? But I
thank him for his understanding
and close my laptop and think
nice thoughts.
Killing for sport
My online experience is
definitely changing. I’ve avoided
diving down any rabbit holes of
antagonism, which is refreshing.
I miss the banter, but I do feel less
bitter. I’m not sure whether this is
because I’m not trying to provoke
flame wars or just because I’m
not reading as much online news.
I watch Paul McDermott on
iView, gently chiding contestants
from his new position as quiz
master on Think Tank! He’s still
charismatic and sharp, albeit
with fewer songs about fucking
dogs than in his DAAS days. I
decide to call him up.
“I would say that we all have
some trigger in our head that
dictates whether we’re going to
go left or right, or say yes or no,”
he says. “Certainly, with the
All Stars, a lot of the material
came from little issues that were
irksome to us. We were brats.
But there had to be some sort of
comedy in the offing.
“I do think there are points
where, if the situation is so
ridiculous, so extreme, that
there’s no rational aspect to it,
then the putdown can be quite
good. It depends on what the
putdown is.”
McDermott notes that the
trio’s main motivation wasn’t to
 HEALTH

have a conversation with their
audience – or, at least, not the
sort that’s enabled by social
media – or to educate, but to have
fun. “There’s no point [trying to
have a conversation] if you just
want to attack people,” he says.
“You can do that, if you
just want to make fun of people,
but it hardly seems sporting.”
I’ve previously picked fights of
my own choosing, electing only
to wade in when I see an easy win.
‘Unsportsmanlike’, indeed.
Tear down the screens
My month-long experiment
is drawing to an end. I can’t
remember the last bout of online
biffo I’ve had. My Facebook wall
is different, too. No longer does
it deliver me just a curated bunch
of the same old news sites. I’m
seeing more content from
actual friends, and making
snide asides at none of them.
For a while, I think this is
dull. But that’s because I’m still
viewing things through the
lens of a combatant, probing for
weakness. This is what arseholes
do: conversation as blood sport.
But, at risk of stating the obvious,
you can’t tell how things are
being received online – no matter
how well you think you know
someone. Renee Barnes is right.
You lose sight of this in a flame
war. Nuance is impossible. Maybe
all lessons are no-brainers when
you take a step back?
Finally, I hear back from
another old mate. We’d been
close, once. But I’d offended
him in some way, and he’d
defriended me.
I’d been hurt then, I recall,
but too obstinate to address it.
Belatedly I say sorry – albeit in
the shitty way that people do
when they can’t quite remember
the offence. He sits on my apology
for a fortnight. Then he says:
I didn’t delete you because you
were being a twat.
Which is a surprise.
The honest truth? I had just
gotten divorced, had just started
getting back into the game
(my first dating adventure in a
decade), had started baldness
treatment, and was feeling
overly self-conscious about
the whole thing. And so, when
I was desperately trying to look
as cool as possible (sad though
that sounds writing it now), I
had no room in my online life for
someone whose cutting jokes
had the potential to make me look
a fool. It was more a spur of the
moment flash of insecurity that I
regretted soon after, but blokes
being blokes we could never
discuss it and I never bit the
bullet and sent you another friend
request. Anyway, I should have
apologised for that long ago.
But there it is.
No problem
We agree to catch up for a
beer. Inevitably, we fall into the
familiar rhythm of banter; the
easy conversational default of
pisstaking. I note his baldness.
He remarks on my dad bod. We
laugh. Mockery – it works better
in person. I’m not sure it works at
all on social media.
Back on The Australian’s
Facebook wall, I pop by to see
what I’m missing. They’re talking
about climate change again.
I click “unfollow”.

THE TROLL TEST

Worried about your online output? Take this test to determine if you’re a digital psychopath

1 How much do you like to 4 Facebook’s policy on

know about a subject before temporarily blocking accounts
stating an opinion? for ‘hate speech’ is:
A) Literal, actual lived A) A transparent PR exercise
experience after all that Russian bot
B) I have a doctorate in controversy
30-second Wikipedia B) A good start but too
scanning unfocused to be effective
C) LOL C) Ruining your fucking life

2 “I have no filter” is: 5 The last disagreement you

A) An excuse arseholes use to
blithely shamble through
life, offending people
B) A good reason not to use
social media while drunk
C) Your Twitter bio, LOL
3 Have you ever @tagged a
celebrity?
A) What? Why? No
B) Maybe once when I was
complimenting their new
album/film/novel
C) How else will I get @
TheRealDonaldTrump to see
my sweet meme about
Melania’s tits?
had online was:
A) About a minor point of
grammar. (You conceded.)
B) Infuriating. You still
think about it, like,
a month later
C) All-caps shouting JET FUEL
CAN’T MELT STEEL BEAMS at
an engineer
ANSWERS:
Mostly As: You’re all clear. Social media gaffes will never cost you a promotion
because your online persona is perfectly sensible. If a little dull.
Mostly Bs: Eh, you’re okay. You express yourself online, but you at least try to be
conscious of manners.
Mostly Cs: You’re the worst. Your natural home is a subterranean lair beneath the
sprawling Nordic wilderness of Trøndelag; that noise you hear is billy goats
trip-trapping across the roof. Log off, now – for everyone’s sake.

January 2019 89
DON’T
LOOK
DOWN
Alex Honnold scales mountain cliffs
without a rope or harness. It may
seem like madness, but he has
simply learned how to transcend
fear. His methods can help you to
conquer your own uphill battles
BY TOM WARD PHOTOGRAPHY BY JIMMY CHIN

90 menshealth.com.au
 TACTICS

January 2019 91
 d insect crawling up
gher, a blemish on
the vast, grey canvas of the mountain. The
treetops below are remote enough to have lost
all of their individual characteristics – just
a carpet of green. As the red dot persists in
its ascent, we realise that it’s a man: Alex
Honnold, arguably the most daring, ambitious
climber in the world. Slowly, steadily, he
makes his way to the top, using only the
narrowest fissures as holds for his feet and
hands. So begins National Geographic’s new
documentary on Honnold, Free Solo.
Honnold climbs without ropes or support of
any kind, and seemingly without fear. “Here’s
what I don’t understand,” a US talk-show
host says in a voice-over. “One little mistake,
one little slip, and you fall and die.” Cut to
Honnold, hunched and awkward in the TV
studio, his eyes peering out from under a mop
of black hair. “Yeah,” he says, shrugging. “You
seem to understand it well.”
Free-soloing is a niche sport. Of the
few who have attempted it, many have fallen
to their deaths. At 32, Honnold is a veteran of
hundreds of free-solo climbs, and his peers
in the climbing community compare his
achievements to the moon landing, or the
“A drop from 50m or more would
breaking of the sound barrier. One such climb
was his 2017 ascent of el Capitan, a forbidding
cause a body to explode on impact”
rock formation in Yosemite National Park,
California. Within the sport, “el Cap” is
considered climbing Valhalla, and it had
never been conquered by a free-soloist. This How does Honnold – who until recently lived says Catherine Harmer, a professor of
near-vertical, 900m granite rock face has in a van – free himself from fear? The trick cognitive neuroscience at Oxford University.
been the scene of numerous tragedies. On may be that he doesn’t. “It’s what stops us from stepping in front of
June 2 this year, two Americans died in a a moving car or falling off a cliff. But it does
failed ascent, despite using ropes and climbing Risk Assessment more than just protect us – it gives us energy
equipment. To attempt it without ropes, then, Fear has always played a crucial role in our in stressful situations. You’ll find you can run
might be considered reckless at best – and evolution. Without it, our species may faster if you’re being chased.”
suicidal at worst. well have fatally succumbed to apex You might feel it first in your chest or in
Not content with his mastery of el Capitan, predators, raging rivers, poisonous fruit or, your throat, but fear starts in the thalamus, a
Honnold, along with fellow climber Tommy worst of all, other Homo sapiens. And we still small structure in your brain that relays motor
Caldwell, returned this year to break the el live with the legacy of our hunter-gatherer and sensory signals to your cerebral cortex.
Capitan climbing speed record, reaching the past: in Overcoming Anxiety, clinical A region called the amygdala then decides
upper ridge after one hour, 58 minutes and psychologist Helen Kennerley explains that how you should react to a given stimulus – all
seven seconds. To push yourself to such limits we are hard-wired to have a fear of snakes, of which happens before you are consciously
of physical and mental exertion requires heights, confined spaces and more. In most aware of the danger. Next, the hypothalamus
dedication, skill and, above all, fearlessness. cases, this is sensible. “Fear is important,” gets involved, triggering processes that result

92 menshealth.com.au
 TACTICS

THE MIND OF A THRILL-SEEKER

Neuroscientist Jane Joseph tested Honnold’s brain in an fMRI
scanner. First, he was shown images selected to frighten,
disturb or arouse. Then, he was given a “reward task”
– a game in which he could win or lose money.
In both cases, his brain barely reacted

The brain’s pleasure chemical, The amygdala is

dopamine, is released when responsible for
you do something exciting. triggering our “threat
Sensation-seekers such response”. Honnold’s
as Honnold may require more should light up when
stimulation to get the same hit. presented with
This may explain why some disturbing images
people thrive under pressure. – but it doesn’t.

compression fractures in two vertebrae. The

in the release of stress hormones adrenaline
and cortisol. With these flooding your
system, your blood pressure will rocket, your
pupils will dilate and your breathing will
accelerate to send oxygen to your muscles
in preparation for “fight or flight”. How
helpful all this is depends on the situation. A
surge of energy is vital when you’re trapped
ADDITIONAL PHOTOGRAPHY: GETTY
and relationship conflicts to a drop in your
Instagram followers.
In short, our minds have not yet caught
up with our surroundings. More than 1 in
4 Australians will suffer from an anxiety
disorder at some point in our lives, according
to Beyond Blue, while an estimated 8 per cent
of the adult population will develop a phobia.
second injury was a sprained ankle
– no trivial ailment when your career
involves supporting yourself halfway up a
cliff face. But neither injury, it seems,
has caused him to slow down. While he
acknowledges that a fall from a height of
50m or more would cause his body to “explode
on impact”, fear is not something that rules
his climbing.
“I like to differentiate between risk
and consequence. When I’m free-soloing, I
think the risk that I’ll fall is quite low, but the
consequence is serious,” he explains. “That’s
one of its appeals – taking something that
seems dangerous and making it feel safe.
Sometimes, my confidence comes
from feeling super fit. Sometimes, it comes
from rehearsal.”
Repetition, then, may be the key
to mastering fear. Notably, Honnold doesn’t
follow any specific exercise regimen. Instead,
since his teenage years, he has used the
mountains as his gym, practising finger holds
and little else. Physically, he can be in no
doubt of his abilities. His training mimics
his end goal, and he is accustomed to working
in that environment.
Free-soloing isn’t the only sport
with inherent risks. Free-diving also has
more than its fair share of misadventure.
Herbert Nitsch, 48, is the current world
free-diving champion and the holder of
33 records, including the world’s deepest
free-dive of 253.2m in 2012. He agrees that
familiarity is one of the most effective ways

beneath a fallen tree, but when you’re stuck
in an overcrowded train carriage, the same
flood of stress hormones – the evolutionary
response – can be counterproductive. As we
encounter fewer genuine life-threatening
dangers in contemporary life, the thalamus
can overreact to everyday horrors, from
work deadlines, obligatory social functions
What we need is the ability to tap into the
fear response when we need it, and to pause it
when we don’t. The question is: how?
Scare Tactics
Alex Honnold has only ever suffered
two injuries while climbing. In one instance,
he fell on the first pitch of a climb, sustaining
of learning to calm the mind when you are
in extreme conditions.
“To be successful in any free-dive, you
have to be dead calm. The state you’re looking
for is similar to how you feel after waking up on
a lazy Sunday morning,” he says. “And you
need to stay in this sleepy condition for the
duration of the dive. By spending a lot of time

January 2019 93
in the ocean far below the surface, my fear
morphed into simple discomfort and then,
eventually, into something closer to joy.”
Honnold puts it succinctly: “You’re not
trying to control your fear. You’re just trying
to step outside of it.” The key, he believes, is to
“expand your comfort zone”, so operating in
peril becomes almost mundane. “I do this
by practising the moves over and over again,
to work through the fear until I can’t feel it
any more,” he explains. He also uses
visualisation, picturing himself on the
mountain, seeing every hold, every crevice,
every conceivable outcome. This puts him in a
meditative state. He practises mentally in this
way as often as possible – when he’s walking
to the shops, when he’s dressing, even when
he’s doing the washing up.
“You don’t beat fear by refusing to
acknowledge it,” says Nitsch. “You beat it
by identifying situations that could cause
anxiety and approaching them pragmatically.
Put the situation into perspective and dissect
it to its minutiae, until you can make sense
of your fears. With each situation, you’ll
realise there is less to be afraid of than you
might think.”
Losing Your Nerve
Merel Kindt is a professor of psychology
at the University of Amsterdam who
has experimented with the effect of beta
blockers on fear. That beta blockers – which
disrupt the distribution of adrenaline,
lowering your heart rate – can help to keep
you calm is not surprising. What is curious,
however, is that the benefits can linger long
after the patient has stopped taking the drugs.
Kindt believes that the body simply grows
accustomed to experiencing stress without
physically responding to it.
This is a crucial point. While our anxious
thoughts can trigger the physiological effects
of fear, it works the other way, too. Our sweaty
palms and hammering heartbeat are what
tell our brain that we’re in grave dangerer.
In the absence of the symptoms, we assume
we’re fine.
Elsewhere, Ben Seymour of Cambridge
University’s Behavioural and Clinical
Neuroscience Institute has taken a slightly
different approach. Using a method called
“decoded neuro-feedback”, Seymour and
his colleagues have been looking for a way to
scan the brain for patterns of activity relating
to specific fears – and ultimately overwrite
the memory.
In one experiment, they created a “fear
memory” in 17 volunteers by shocking them
with an electric current each time they were
shown a certain image, and noted their brain
94 menshealth.com.au
patterns. Once this was established, they
then presented the subjects with a reward
every time they displayed any brain activity
related to that memory. This scrambled the
circuits: the next time the subjects were
shown the same images, they barely reacted.
“Remarkably, we could no longer see the
typical skin-sweating response you associate
with fear,” says Seymour’s colleague Ai
Koizumi. “Nor could we identify enhanced
activity in the amygdala, the brain’s fear
centre.” They had erased the fear without
the subjects ever even being aware of
the process.
But while such results show promise
for those suffering with anxiety or post-
traumatic stress disorder, removing fear
from our emotional repertoire is not the end
goal. The dose makes the poison, and a little 35%
42%
anxiety can actually be good for us, argues
Jeremy Snape, psychologist at Sporting Edge. 23%
“We’ve interviewed over 100 world-class
performers, and the vast majority Heights
have a strong fear of failure,” he explains.
“For them, it’s a motivator. The champions
use it to strengthen their attention to detail 36%
in preparation . . . Without a healthy dose of 44%
fear, we can get complacent.” 20%
Again, the focus is on understanding,
rather than suppressing, our anxieties. Public
Speaking
It’s a lesson that holds a lot of meaning
for free-diver Nitsch. After a world
FEAR AND
record attempt in 2012, he suffered from LOATHING
decompression sickness. Doctors feared 29%
Think you’re braver
that he would be partially paralysed for life. 57%
than the average
The news was so crushing that Nitsch 14%
briefly contemplated “a wingless flight”
man?* This is how
some of our
out of his hospital room window. Instead, Enclosed
common phobias
with long, empty days to fill in hospital, he
break down Spaces
decided to examine his fears, breaking them 8%
down one by one to formulate a specific plan
KEY 16%
of action.
“My fear got me going,” he says. “It took me Very afraid
six whole months to be fully upright, walking 76%
and talking again. Two years after the Slightly afraid
accident, I tested my limits in the deep ocean. Not afraid Needles
It was fantastic. I felt like a kid.” He went on to
equal many of his previous records.
Pursuing Perfection coming true; and in the third, how you could
Nitsch’s recovery relied on similar methods rectify the situation, should it all go horribly
to those outlined by author Tim Ferriss in a wrong. By thinking more about our fears, he
Ted Talk last year. Ferriss argues that it’s not argues, you may find that they lose a lot of
our goals that we should define but our fears. their power.
He advises separating the fears that you can In Alex Honnold’s mind, too, the way to
control from those you can’t, while making coexist with fear is to overexpose yourself to
notes on the former under three headings: it. He has been climbing since he was 11 years
define, prevent, repair. old, gradually subjecting himself to greater
In the first column, you should write down and greater risks each time. The cumulative
the worst-case scenario; in the second, what effect of this was to allow him, after 21 years,
you can do to decrease the likelihood this fear to do what many had previouslythought
 TACTICS

EXPAND YOUR
COMFORT ZONE
Exposing yourself to
“safe” stress can
reduce your sensitivity
to it. The next time you
find yourself in a
nerve-racking
situation, whether
scaling a cliff or
speaking up in a
meeting, use this
method to turn your
fear into fuel

“Dissect your fears

– there is less to be
afraid of than you Step 1
Feel, Don’t Think

might think” Take stock of your

physical sensations
from head to toe,
without attaching any
meaning to them.
Shallow breathing?
Accelerated heart rate?
Tense muscles? Check,
check, check.

Step 2
Reframe Your
Responses
Now remind yourself
*YOUGOV | ILLUSTRATIONS: ALCONIC

that these reactions

can also be
associated with a
range of positive
emotions, such as
anticipation and
excitement. Recall a
time when you felt
that way.

impossible. Asked why he climbed el Capitan that the only difference between him and HONNOLD HAS SPENT
four times with ropes before free-soloing it, he other climbers is his passion. The likes of TWO DECADES Step 3
replied: “Look at it . . . It’s fucking scary!” Tommy Caldwell, he explains, could easily free- CONFRONTING Get Pumped Up
EVER GREATER RISKS. Instead of forcing
Honnold recently underwent a functional solo el Capitan – they just don’t feel impelled to
yourself to calm
magnetic resonance imaging scan (see page do so, whereas he does. He always has.
down, harness your
99). The scan found that his brain – though “I don’t want to fall off and die, but there’s “arousal energy” and
structurally very healthy – demands a higher a satisfaction in challenging yourself and let it charge your
level of stimulation than the average person’s. doing something well,” Honnold explains. performance.
Hence, perhaps, his ability to scale dizzying “That feeling is heightened when you’re Scientists at Harvard
heights unassisted. It isn’t that Honnold facing certain death. You can’t make a found that this was
is incapable of feeling fear; it just takes mistake. If you’re after perfection, free- the best way to
a lot more to make him afraid. He maintains soloing is as close as you can get.” outplay anxiety.

January 2019 95
 BLINDSIDED
SOONER OR LATER, IN YOUR
ESSENTIALLY COMFORTABLE
LIFE, SOMETHING GRIM IS
GOING TO COME OUT OF
LEFT FIELD AND KNOCK YOUR
WORLD OFF ITS AXIS. AS THESE
THREE GUYS SHOW, IT’S WHAT
YOU DO NEXT THAT COUNTS

BY DANIEL WILLIAMS AND BEN JHOTY

ILLUSTRATIONS BY BEA CRESPO/THE ILLUSTRATION ROOM

96 menshealth.com.au
 MIND

January 2019 97
 JUST WHEN YOU THINK
YOU HAVE LIFE ALL
WORKED OUT, IT EATS
YOU FOR BREAKFAST.
THE
JILTED
HUSBAND

Alex Laguna thought his

seven-year marriage was
strong. Until the day his wife
told him she wanted out

Life was good. We had two

kids, five and four, and lived on
Sydney’s northern beaches. I was
a young lighting technician in
the film industry. The hours were
long and my commitment to my
work was intense. But I thought
everything was okay. There was
never a warning like, “If we don’t
sit down and sort these things
out, we’re not going to make it”.
My wife went overseas on a
holiday with her sister. When
I picked them up at the airport
there was an uncomfortable
feeling. Back home there was still
this weirdness.
Next morning, on my way
out the door, she said, “Listen, I
can’t be with you anymore. I don’t
love you anymore.” That’s how I
remember it.
I stayed in the house for a
while. We talked but I didn’t feel
there was a clear explanation
of why this was happening. She
didn’t say, “You don’t clean up
after yourself” or “You snore”.
There wasn’t a list of grievances.
It seemed more a case of a switch
being flicked. My mum says love
is like a fragile veil that covers
two people, and when the veil’s
broken it’s hard to repair. I
suppose that’s where my ex-wife
was at.
My dad listened to me go
through everything. It starts
with blame. How could she break
us up? How could she do this
to our children? Eventually, I
moved into this shack in Palm
Beach. I remember waking up in

98 menshealth.com.au

a sleeping bag on an inflatable
mattress in an empty house. I just
couldn’t see how anything could
ever be okay.
To think I couldn’t see my
children everyday broke me
down. You feel like a failure.
You’re flat. People try to make
you feel better but all you want to
do is say how shit it is.
To soothe the pain I bought
a motorbike – a new Ducati
1198. One Mothers’ Day I rode
extremely fast through Stanmore
National Park. When I stopped
this cop car screamed in behind
me. The cop got out, fuming. I’m
sure he touched his gun. He just
said, “Mate, you’re in big trouble”.
The judge saw I was depressed
and banned me from driving
for a year. This was all part of
the process: I had to be broken
down before I could start moving
forwards again.
It started with exercise,
though it was more just moving.
Throwing one leg out of bed. Then
the other. Getting up and moving
and getting some fresh air into
your lungs. Walking clears your
head. I got so tired of thinking
about my troubles that I would
drop and do 20 push-ups every
time they filled my head.
My dad told me to see a
counsellor. At first the suggestion
pissed me off because I thought,
Fucking why? It was her fault.
But I started seeing this guy
once a week and gradually I
started seeing things differently.
Through the anger and self-pity
I developed empathy. I was able
to think about how bad my ex
must feel and why she’d made the
decisions she had.
Even though you’re consumed
by your pain, blokes need to
recognise that a lot of damage
can be done in those early days
of marital breakdown. Things
MIND
can be said that you can’t take
back. You have to remember
your endgame, which is being
able to see your children when
you want to. That means
having a working relationship
with your ex. You realise
you don’t have to win every
argument. You don’t have to
send those text messages.
Holding back, even saying
sorry, doesn’t lessen you. It
just stops the escalation.
Looking back on my
marriage, I’ve realised that “THROUGH
THE ANGER
admitting the relationship
wasn’t working was half the
battle. It’s cnce you put aside
your anger and ego that you
can move forward. AND SELF-PITY
Alex Laguna is the founder of
betterdads.com. Now remarried, I DEVELOPED
EMPATHY”
he has no doubt he’s a better
husband, father and man for
the hell he went through.
January 2019 99
 THE
ASSASSINATED
PM

Kevin Rudd believed he

was doing a first-rate job as
Prime Minister and planned
on serving at least another
term. His deputy, however,
had other ideas

I woke up that morning [June 23,

2010] knowing the government
had its challenges, but we’d had
our challenges for a long time.
We’d been ahead in 86 of the
previous 87 opinion polls. And I
was ready to head off to the G20
summit in Ottawa. So, for me, it
was a normal day.
I’d heard rumours after
Question Time that Julia Gillard
had gone off to consult the
faceless men of the factions.
At 7pm, one of my staff told me
that the ABC had just reported
Gillard was about to unleash the
dogs of war. She arrived in my
office and announced it was on.
So there was no warning.
The thing was, in February
of that year, I’d taken her to
one side and said, “You know, I identify a range of personality by which you can contribute to But I listened carefully to the
don’t want to be around forever”. types. One of them is the bitter- that end besides being Prime likes of John Faulkner, who’s
I wanted her to become the and-twisted type: this person Minister. This becomes the observed PMs from Whitlam to
first female Prime Minister has either never had their talents psychological and intellectual the present, and his point was
of Australia through a smooth recognised or they’ve been framework for navigating these that these critiques of style were a
handover. But she, in the great slighted somehow and dream of convulsing emotions. reflection of a precious-petal age.
Shakespearean tradition, saw their revenge. I regard this as a Another part of the process Becoming Foreign Minister
opportunity arise. waste of emotional energy. And is taking a clear-eyed look at was fundamentally important
At first, you are in shock and so I was deeply conscious of that yourself. Because all of us have to moving on, because after the
you are numb. And when the danger, both psychologically these two realities of what shock and humiliation you either
numbness fades there is an acute and, in my case, theologically: it we think we’re doing versus throw yourself back into work or
sense of pain that is difficult to actually poisons the soul if you’re how we’re perceived. What risk disappearing into a vortex of
describe. There’s also a sense not careful. I discovered was there were self-reflection. Writing my latest
of embarrassment: not many The response is not to deny folks who, when I asked them a book, too. I did not enjoy writing
people have to endure their anger or the feelings of betrayal. question in cabinet, felt it was a it – relieving your own death is an
execution so publicly. But you also contextualise, which deliberate effort to catch them interesting experience. But it also
After a time the phone stops means understanding you’re not out on a question of detail, where gives you a sense of closure.
ringing and you are alone. Then Robinson Crusoe. If your purpose to me I was simply wanting And yes, I found forgiveness.
arises the existential question: for entering the political process is cabinet to hear why something When I run into these
who am I? If you’ve been in moving the dial on social justice, was being recommended. We’re coupmeisters, they kind of slink
politics for a while you can then there are multiple means all individuals with foibles. from the room. My approach –

100 menshealth.com.au

“AFTER THE SHOCK AND
HUMILIATION, YOU THROW
YOURSELF BACK INTO WORK”
and it’s not just chutzpah – is to
greet and embrace. What I find
when engaging people like that is
that they can’t comprehend that
you wouldn’t want to get square,
because that’s how they operate.
The aphorism is true: you can
forgive and you’ll never forget.
The consequence for me is that I
will end up, and have ended up, as
less trusting. But it’s important
not to allow that to consume you.
THE Sydney father
HELPLESS David Guia’s son
DAD was a healthy,
happy teenager.
Until one day,
he wasn’t
Jaye was diagnosed, out of the blue, in
February this year. The whole family
had a cold but then in a very short
period of time his symptoms changed.
He suddenly lost his appetite. He
started having profuse night sweats
where he’d be drenched through. He
did that for two nights and we were like,
something’s not right here.
We went to Randwick emergency
department and got blood tests done.
A junior doctor came out and said, “Can
we go into another room?” The second
he said that, I just knew something
really bad was happening. They said,
“We’re going to have to do a bone
marrow test but on the blood results we
can see there are leukemic cells
present”. It was later confirmed as
acute lymphoblastic leukemia.
Anyone would tell you that when
something like this happens you look
back and think, why? Why didn’t I do
this? Why didn’t I do that? Life was so
easy just a month ago.
As a man, all the bravado you have
before you have kids, going out
conquering the world, building your
career, accumulating wealth . . . when
your children come along, right there
you have an Achilles heel. You have a
super-soft spot and when something
threatens that, you realise you’re
nothing. Money, letters behind your
name, all of that is absolutely and
utterly meaningless.
I was a sole trader doing handyman
property maintenance work but this is
my full-time job now. While my wife is
with my eight-year-old, running his life
and the house, I’ll be living with Jaye in
hospital on a fold-out bed. When we’re
Kevin Rudd was
not in hospital we’re at home looking
Prime Minister
after him. Because he has no immune
of Australia from
system an infection could kill him very
2007-10 and again,
briefly, in 2013. The quickly. If his temperature hits 38°, you
second volume of his basically get in the car and go to
memoirs, The PM hospital. We’ve had a few 2ams.
Years (Macmillan, The way they do the chemo is they
$45), is out now. just salt the earth, napalming the hell
MIND
out of the immune system. He’s doing
well. He was in remission within days of
commencing treatment and he’s had
no leukemic cells reappear. At the
moment he’s really sick because of the
chemo. He’s very much the picture of a
cancer kid right now. He’s got a central
line, all the hair’s gone, he’s very pale.
As a parent you realise that if you fall
apart, the whole system’s going to
collapse. You have to endeavour to
exercise, eat well. I’ll sneak off to one of
the consultation rooms and just do
some squats and push-ups. You want
to feel like you have control over some
aspect of your life. Many parents slowly
go down the track of drinking too
much or they’re suddenly on antide-
pressants. They don’t realise they’ve
got themselves into trouble because
they’ve just been myopically trying to
manage this situation.
The analogy we use in the family is
that you’re in a wartime situation. When
we have to go back to the hospital my
son always says, “We’re going back for
another tour”.
I prefer to be busy. It’s when there’s
nothing to do that you start thinking
about where you’re at and that’s scary
as hell. It’ll hit you out of the blue. You’ll
be in Woolworths and some song will
come on and you’ll just realise you’re
sobbing and you’re a complete mess.
There are no atheists in cancer
wards. When something like this
happens it’s like, where do you go?
Straight to God is where you go. It also
forces you to examine your own life
and the way you were conducting
yourself. It’s okay to give yourself a
really cold, hard analytical look, and
say, no, not good enough. That won’t
stop the tragedy from occurring but
hopefully you’re going to live a better
life and be a better human being.
When you keep trying to run away
from the horrors of life they keep
chasing you. Sometimes you just have
to turn and face them and embrace
them and only then might you be able
to wrestle back and be victorious over
the circumstances of the moment. You
have to realise that you will get through
this because time simply does pass. No
matter what, you’re going to look back
on this. You will survive.
David’s family has been supported by
redkite: redkite.org.au and the St Vincent
de Paul Society: vinnies.org.au
January 2019 101
WEIGHT LOSS

INSIDE THE

FAT

102 menshealth.com.au
LAB
At the Pennington Biomedical Research Center in the
US, an Avengers-style team of experts is working to find
new ways to win the war against fat. A report from the
front lines – and what the findings mean for you
BY JOSEPH HOOPER PHOTOGRAPHY BY DAYMON GARDNER

CHRISTOPHER SANCHEZ,
A VOLUNTEER, UNDERGOING A
BII ELECTRICAL ANALYSIS TO
FIND BODY-FAT PERCENTAGE.

January 2019 103


very week over the Each of the 15 people in the
study starts by spending three
past several months, days inside one of Pennington’s
a new volunteer has four metabolic chambers. Dr
Eric Ravussin, a professor of
checked into the physiology, genially describes
“metabolic ward” at them as “like hotel rooms, but
the Pennington with a glass wall and precise
sensors”. Every inhalation
Biomedical Research and exhalation is measured to
Center in Baton calculate their metabolic burn
rate – and whether they’re
Rouge, Louisiana. burning kilojoules from fat,
Each person stays protein or carbohydrates. The
for a total of 24 days in the inpatient participants next spend 18 days
on the 90-hectare campus,
unit. He or she is fed meals that are with every meal and step of
carefully prepared and meticulously exercise recorded. Then they go
back in the chamber for three
measured down to the kilojoule so that days of evaluation. Ravussin is
the daily total kilojoule consumption will measuring in an ultraprecise
be less than what his or her body burns, way not only how much weight
the subjects drop but also how
resulting in weight loss. How much is their metabolic rate is affected by
the question. cutting back their kilojoules.
Losing weight is hard enough,
but keeping it off is even harder.
Ravussin made headlines with a
recent Biggest Loser study that
104 menshealth.com.au
Y,
S
I O
C O S
U E O A SES ESS IN
I
W GH - O S S D ES.S
revealed the dramatic drop in
kilojoule burn rate of participants
on the show, well below the rate
of people who had always been at
that weight. So to stay at the same
weight, a person who weighed
115kg and lost 22.5kg would have
to eat less than a person who
always weighed 115kg.
“It’s like people who lose
weight are almost doomed
to regain it because of their
high metabolic efficiency,” he
says. That’s why in this study
Ravussin’s team is looking
for ways to prop up people’s
metabolic rate using a new drug
so that they don’t have to restrict
their food intake so severely to
keep off those lost kilos.
Obesity is like that elephant
investigated by the blind men
in the Indian fable who arrive at
different conclusions depending
on whether they’re holding the
trunk, the tusk or the tail. Weight
gain can be a result of many
different, but often coexisting,
issues, from metabolic factors

and emotional problems to lack
of exercise and overeating. Too
often these issues are studied
in isolation.
At Pennington, they look at
the whole elephant. An Avengers-
style team of experts is working
to find new ways to defeat fat.
The situation is dire: recently we
spent a few days at Pennington
with the researchers and the
high-tech hardware they’re
using to combat obesity. In
addition to the metabolic ward,
we visited Dr Corby Martin,
director of the center’s Ingestive
Behavior, Weight Management
& Health Promotion Lab, who is
juggling scores of feeding studies
investigating everything from
how the pace of eating affects
satiety to how group dynamics
influence food choices at buffets.
A scale invisibly built into a table
in the lab continuously records
weight as food moves from plate
to gullet, and a hidden video
camera in the café records
food choices.
In another lab, Dr Owen
Carmichael, a professor of
brain and metabolism imaging,
runs a lab that uses functional
magnetic-resonance imagery
(fMRI) to better understand
hunger at the level of the brain.
His research is exploring how
neural pleasure centres respond
to different foods.
Drawing on Pennington’s
collective expertise on weight
loss, we identified seven “fat
types” – seven ways your body,
brain and habits conspire to
pack on the kilos. You may be
predominantly one type, or you
may be a mix of several, but you
should be able to identify yourself
in this field guide to fat.
#1 THE CRAVER
You eat because you’re listening
to your body and your body is
weak. It has a very hard time
saying no to sugary, salty, fatty
comfort foods – the kinds that
you know you shouldn’t be
eating at all, much less in
massive quantities. But they taste
so good you do it anyway.
WEIGHT LOSS
“Severe Cravers”, says
Carmichael, may tell the
researchers something like: “I’m
driving down the freeway and I
see the Golden Arches, and it’s
like the rest of the world goes
away and there’s a tractor beam
drawing me to it.” Carmichael,
an engineer with a doctorate
in robotics, is leading a team
running experiments on the BROCCOLI ON THE PLATE AND MIND:
MEAL PREP IN THE METABOLIC
center’s two fMRI machines to WARD’S KITCHEN (LEFT AND RIGHT);
see what parts of your brain light FMRI VISUALS OF THE BRAIN’S
up, and how intensely, when BLOOD-OXYGEN CONTENT SHOW
you’re looking at comfort foods HOW NEURAL PLEASURE CENTRES
RESPOND TO FOODS (BELOW).
versus vegetables.
Meanwhile, Martin and his
team use their specific tools
to identify people with strong
cravings. In studies where
the subjects choose their own
foods, he assesses cravings
with questionnaires and notes
how much of each food people
eat. When Cravers are given
craved foods, they are more
likely to override their satiety
cues and finish the plate, or go
back for seconds. The insights
the lab can’t provide will come
out in clinical settings, with
study subjects discussing their
food issues and filling out three croissants before he hits corporate weight-lossprograms,
questionnaires about habits and the footpath. notes that it’simportanttofigureout
preferences. In this way, Martin Some of Martin’s temptation- whether you’reatrueCraver–you
is both the Alfred Kinsey of diminishing techniques: want a particular,irresistiblefood
eating-related research and its Breathe deep: Take your – or whether you’resimplyacreature
Masters and Johnson, the guy mind off the food and put it of habit. And ifyou’reareal-deal
who measures and records what on something as neutral as Craver, as in youcan’timaginelife
the rest of us merely talk about. breathing. It’s like a cold without fries orwhatever,oftenthe
shower for your body’s only workableprescriptionisjust
THE FIX: The goal is to overexcited stress response. saying no, fullstop.“Theanswerfor
withstand the temptation of a Think positive: Imagine the craving isextinction,”Church
specific food or vendor. Let’s say going in for your next doctor’s says. If foods youcraveareinthe
you have a particular weakness appointment, and envision how house, throw themout.Ifyoucrave
for baked goods. “We can’t just it will feel when you hit your and eat certainfoodswhenyou
avoid bakeries for the rest of our weight and blood-sugar targets. watch TV, youmighthavetonot
lives,” Martin says. “We have to Plot your moves: Common watch for a whileuntilyou get
live in harmony with them.” scenarios Martin will work over the hump.
To that end, he deploys what through with his subjects include
he calls “exposure with response how to go to a barbecue without
prevention”, or ERP. He might blowing up your eating plan or a #2 THE EMO EATER
take a series of group field family dinner where your mum You’re compelled to eat by
trips to a bakery. The first time, expects you to eat all your old emotional factors that have
they walk past it. The second favourite foods. Anticipate the nothing to do with food itself. The
time, they linger for a few caloric war zones and rehearse brakes might fail because you had
minutes outside. The goal is to how you’re going to survive them. a bad day at work or a fight with
build up enough resistance to the One of Martin’s research your spouse or your team’s best
sights and smells that a Craver partners, Dr Tim Church, an player just blew out an elbow.
can buy a loaf of bread for the adjunct Pennington professor “Some of us handle our
family without wolfing down whose day job is developing emotions just fine, and then some
January 2019 105
negative event comes up and we
go off,” Church says. “It could be
drinking, smoking or eating,”
or some combination. Alcohol,
for example, reduces your
inhibitions to everything else,
especially food.
THE FIX: “Know your triggers,”
Church says. If they’re not
immediately obvious, he says,
“next time you go on a bender
and eat ice cream, sit down right
afterward and write down what’s
upsetting you, as specifically as
possible. Unpeel the onion.”
John Oldham, an IT guy who
lost, as unbelievable as it sounds,
104kg on Naturally Slim, the
program Church helped design,
says he unpeeled the onion to
discover his disappointment with
his ex-wife was driving much
of his binge eating. “I stopped
giving control to her,” he says.
Put time between the
triggering event and your
reaction to it. “You’re heading
for the refrigerator and you tell
yourself, ‘Can I wait ten minutes
before I do that?’” Church says.
Deal with anxiety-producing
emotional issues head-on and cope
with their physical manifestations
by drawing from the same menu
of mind-body techniques that
a Craver might use – mindful
meditation or deep-breathing
exercises. Another solution is to
find an activity that makes you feel
better but doesn’t involve food. “Go
for a walk or bike ride to clear your
head,” says Martin.
#3 THE GRAZER
At work, you’re the guy with the
bowl of M&M’s on his desk who
always seems to be nibbling
on something. In the evening,
Martin says, you might sit down
to watch TV with a bag of chips
and eat the whole bag.
THE FIX: Martin calls this guy
“BREAKFAST LIKE A KING,
LUNCH LIKE A PRINCE AND
DINE LIKE A PAUPER”
106 menshealth.com.au
the “passive overconsumer,” and
the label points to the solution.
You need to become a “mindful”
eater by planning meal
schedules, including any snacks
you need to keep hunger in check.
Then you have to stick to them.
Bryan McCullough, a video
producer who lost 20kg on
Church’s program, says, “A
chocolate-chip cookie will always
sound good to me, but I know if I
can have one after my lunch,
I don’t have to scarf up the
cookies that someone might
bring to the office.”
Mindful eating begins with
an accurate assessment of your
hunger. “Clients will tell me, ‘I
didn’t realise I was eating when
I wasn’t even hungry,’ ” Church
says. “But if you’re hungry, you
should eat. If you don’t, there’s a
chance you’ll overcompensate at
your next meal.”
Like the pseudo Craver,
Church says, the Grazer can often
be satisfied after he substitutes
a low-kilojoule snack like carrots
for his high-kJ go-to.
But when you are sitting down
to a real meal, Martin adds, it’s
important to focus on and enjoy
the food while you’re eating it.
“We train people to be mindful of
the fact that they’re sitting down
to eat and only to eat, not to also
watch TV or read a book,” he says.
#4 THE LOADER
For most of the day, you’re
uninterested in food. You skip
breakfast and have a light lunch.
But at night, you start feasting.
“This back-loading of
kilojoules really does seem
to predispose people to be
overweight or obese,” Martin
says. It’s more than a maths
problem. Human physiology
is wired to sleep at night, and
evidence indicates it’s better to
eat early in the day and not to
eat much in the evening. That’s
why your body temperature and
metabolic rate fall.
Researcher Dr Courtney
Peterson has just completed two
groundbreaking studies on meal
timing. Her findings show late-
night eating disrupts insulin
sensitivity, raises blood pressure
and decreases fat burning.
“We think eating later at night
causes your body’s clocks to be
in different time zones, getting
conflicting signals about whether
to rev up metabolism,” she says.
In one study, subjects ate all
three daily meals between 8am
and 2pm. Early results showed
they burned more fat and felt
less hungry than a control group
eating on a normal schedule.
Peterson says the first group’s
biggest complaint was feeling too
full on the shorter schedule, not
feeling hungry at night.
One alumnus of the study,
Jeff Coslan, says he dreaded
that overstuffed feeling eating
dinner in the early afternoon,
but at the end of the five-week
test run, he’d lost weight and
all of his vital numbers – blood
sugar, blood pressure, lipids – had
significantly improved.
Even your grandparents
wouldn’t have dinner earlier than
4pm. But if the final research
shows the same results, it may
be best to eat dinner before
insulin sensitivity clocks out.
“It’s ironic that we’ve focused so
long on whether it’s good or bad
to skip breakfast,” Peterson says.
“Dinner, and when you eat it, may
be the most important meal of
the day.”
THE FIX:
Plan early meals: Work out a
meal schedule that ends with
dinner by 7pm.
Find replacement activities:
Until you’re familiar with this
new feeding pattern, look for
ways to keep yourself busy that
don’t involve food and drink
– working out, for example.
Get your z’s: Limit the late
nights and you’ll cut down
on the opportunities to ruin
your eating strategies. That’s
especially important on
weekend nights, when most
people overindulge.
Front-load your diet:
Breakfast like a king, lunch like
a prince and dine like a pauper.
Slow down: It takes roughly 20
minutes for a full stomach to tell
the brain to stop eating. Only by
eating slowly will you give that
feeling of satiety a chance to
catch up.
#5 THE SWEET SEEKER
You’ve probably heard sugar
is uniquely damaging to your
metabolism, your waistline and
overall health. And yet you just
can’t stop yourself.
This “lone gunman” theory
that puts sugar at the centre
of everything that’s gone
wrong with our diet sounds
convincing. But so far, evidence
is underwhelming that sugar is
much worse than other refined
carbs like white flour. However,
since so many of the junk
kilojoules we consume are in
the form of sugar, it deserves its
newfound status as public-health
enemy number one.
THE FIX:
Dodge stealth sugar: Many
processed foods have added
sugar. The obvious strategy is
to read nutrition labels. But
it only works if you know the
many names for hidden sugar.
They include: agave nectar,
barley malt syrup, corn syrup,
dextrose, fructose, galactose,
glucose, high-fructose corn
syrup, lactose, maltose, sucrose.
Avoid sugary drinks: They
pack a double punch – the
kilojoules themselves and
the fact that the body doesn’t
register fullness from liquids.
Retrain your taste buds: Eat
more whole foods, Martin says,
and fewer processed foods. You’ll

be cutting down on added sugar
and kilojoules. “I call it weight
loss through the back door,” he
says. An excellent first step: if
you’re a snacker at work, trade
the lollies and doughnuts for raw
vegetables and fruit – besides
being healthy, the fruit will
appease the sweet tooth.
Go on a low-carb plan: If your
doctor tells you your blood-sugar
level is on the high side, going on
a low-carb diet may help. Avoid
the “whites” (sugar, flour, bread,
etc.) and load up on protein – one
gram per 450 grams of your goal
body weight – and healthy fats.
#6 THE REGAINER
Even dedicated dieters struggle to
maintain their lower weight once
motivation wears off and hunger
kicks in. Long-term weight-loss
studies show a disturbing trend:
around six months, almost
everyone stops losing weight and
putting the kilos back on.
The problem is your new body
is wired differently to your old
one. You burn fewer kilojoules,
and thanks to lower levels of
leptin, you want to eat more.“It’s
like you have a spring pulling you
back to your original weight,”
Ravussin says.
THE FIX:
While exercise plays a small role
in weight loss, it’s a major factor
in weight-loss maintenance.
Church and Martin have
published a new study that
suggests your body needs
physical activity to get your
appetite to match up with your
energy expenditure.
“Exercise is a safety valve,”
Church says. “If eating or not
eating an extra 800 kilojoules
every day makes the difference
between maintaining a healthy
weight and regaining it, then
burning off 4000 kilojoules a
week just makes the odds of
pulling it off that much greater.”
Church’s studies show
doing both cardio and strength
training is better than doing
either one alone. Prolonged
endurance exercise burns lots of
kilojoules while you’re doing it,
and lifting increases, or at least
maintains, lean muscle mass.
This killer combination helps
clear sugar and fatty acids from
your bloodstream, either by using
them for energy or by storing
glucose in muscles while you
recover from your workouts.
Keep a food diary: Sometimes
you have to inventory all lifestyle
elements, including diet. “For
a lot of people, food diaries are
often more trouble than they’re
worth,” Church says. “But for
the guy who keeps regaining, it’s
superimportant. He’s got to find
out where he’s going wrong.”
#7 THE COMPENSATOR
Church and Martin are
publishing a new study with
a startling conclusion: study
subjects who exercised a lot
didn’t lose any more weight than
people who exercised about half
as much. The takeaway: people
who exercise a lot feel they’ve
“earned” the right to eat more.
Sorry, it’s not that simple.
THE FIX:
Don’t overestimate your
burn: At rest, your body burns
about 4 kilojoules per kilogram
of body weight per hour. Run
8.5km in an hour and you burn
an extra 2900kJ, which sounds
like a lot until you realise it’s
the equivalent of a large slice
of cheesecake or burger with
the lot, which you can inhale in
about 30 seconds flat.
Avoid the workout/veg-out
cycle: If you’re so tired after a
workout that you move less than
you normally do the next day,
WEIGHT LOSS
STUDY PARTICIPANT PATRICK VAN
DUZEE IN THE METABOLIC
DUZ
CH MBER, WHERE MACHIN
CHA INES
MONIT
MON ITOR THE AIR
IR AN
A D CALCCULATE
KILOJ
OJOULES BURN NED.
you’re lucky if you break even on
kilojoules in and out. “The best
exercise program is one that
leaves you feeling energised,”
says Church.
Get your metabolism in
order: Church and Martin have
found that subjects with high
blood sugar were three times as
likely to overeat after a workout.
Their theory is that they burn
more carbohydrates when they
exercise, causing a drop in
blood sugar, which increases
appetite. However, a steady
program of moderate, sub-
maximal workouts can improve
your insulin sensitivity. When
insulin is more responsive,
you have less circulating blood
glucose, you burn more fat
for energy and you feel less
post-workout hunger.
Stop looking for a reward:
The subjects in the Church-
Martin study who thought they
deserved a bonus for a hard
workout were more likely to
compensate with kilojoules they
couldn’t afford. You aren’t a
child; you don’t need a treat for
taking your booster shot
like a big boy. Exercise for its
own sake, not for the chocolate-
chip ice cream you’ll give
yourself when it’s over.
January 2019 107
Join the fun OF

WHAT I’VE
LEARNT ABOUT
FATHERHOOD
Channel 7 sports presenter
Hamish McLachlan. Father
of Milla, 6, Indi, 4, and Lex, 2
My dad, Angus, was a tough but very well-
meaning old taskmaster. My brothers and
I used to call him “singlet” because he was
always on our backs.
I remember him saying to me when I was
about 12 or so, “Whatever you do in life,
remember you go to your grave with just one
thing, and that’s your reputation”. What he
meant by that, I think, was to live a life that
you’re proud of – with no wrinkles anywhere.
Dad was, and is, a sheep farmer. The days
were pretty simple when I was a kid – if the
sun was up then my brothers and I would
go out and help him with whatever needed
doing, and when it was dark, we’d go home
for dinner. We were always outside with him
learning about the stock and the land.
In Year 7, dad came to watch me at boarding
school on a day when I was competing in six
events at the school athletics championships.
The day was about to get underway, and he
gave me some parting advice before he took
his seat with mum. There was this long
avenue of plane trees and the sprinklers had
been on and the water was running down the
avenue and into the drain. “You’ve got a great
opportunity,” dad said. “But today is just like
that water – once it’s gone, it’s gone.”
HIS
EF T) W IT H
H A MISH (L
GU S.
FAT HER, A N
What he was saying was to really focus
in and concentrate and make the most of
the rare opportunity. I went on to win the
championships that day. Looking back, it was
one of the prouder days of my life. And dad’s,
I think. I hope.
Going through IVF was difficult. The first
two eggs didn’t take. And then you do start to
wonder if it’s ever going to happen. But Soph
and I said to ourselves, Let’s keep this simple.
If we do everything we can, and we look after
ourselves and our bodies, and we put ourselves
in the best possible hands and believe in the
process, then it will happen.
My mum has always said that a stressed
horse never gets pregnant, so we tried to
be relaxed. And we were so lucky it all
worked with Milla and then we had Indi
and Lex naturally.
Having a daughter has helped me see life
through a different lens. I was one of four
boys, I’d been to an all-boys boarding school,
and I work in football, which is still very
much a male-dominated environment. But
having Milla has softened me so much, and
broadened me and has made me so much
more aware of the challenges, the perspective
and the beauty of the fairer sex.
M H
D A D
My work takes me away a lot whether it’s
the Winter Olympics, the football or the
tennis. But I always try and get home at night
whenever possible. I just love waking up with
my wife and kids around me.
Time and listening. They’re the secrets to a
lasting relationship. You’ve got to try and find
an hour to go for a walk or sit down for a chat.
Sometimes I’ll say to Soph, “Come with me
to Flemington so we can chat in the car”. I’d
rather spend time with her than go and play
five hours of golf.
Our whole family sits down to eat together
every night. That means we all eat by 6pm.
We always ask the kids to pick their “blue-sky
moment” of the day. It’s a nice thing to do that
encourages reflection and gratitude.
We went camping the other night and I was
lying in the tent with one of the girls asleep
across my stomach and another one sprawled
across my face. And I was listening to them
sleep thinking to myself, these are the best
of days.
McLachlan is an ambassador of the Magic Millions
Carnival that kicks off with the polo on January 6
on the Gold Coast. For more info and tickets, visit
magicmillions.com.au
January 2019 109
 M H
D A D

Does Your Smartphone

Make You a Dumb Dad?
All my fears about sending texts, tweeting like a madman and
refreshing my news feed are calmed by one person: my son
By Gary Shteyngart Illustration by Dan Page

I HATE CLICHÉS MORE THAN ANYTHING,

but my kid is the best thing that has ever
happened to me. J. has softened my
approach to the world (even as the world falls
apart around us); he has rekindled my interest
in the ways and means of the universe; and he
has allowed me, for the first time in my life, to
live outside the busy monkey brain that
thumps away inside my skull, at least
whenever he cradles his downy head against
my chest. He’s four, but he loves hexadeci-
mals (whatever those are), tectonic plates,
and the early work of Marvin Hamlisch. In
some ways, I want to become more like him.
I’m catching up on my National Geographic
and my Wikipedia just so I can have a
conversation on his level, and he’s helping me
understand the origins of thunderstorms and
the fractal wonders of the Fibonacci series.
When I’m not around, he sets up his stuffed
animals in a circle, takes out his whiteboard
and says, “Animals, let’s do some maths
problems.” But I am his daddy, and that means
that he inevitably wants to be like me. And
what does Daddy do?
Professionally, I’m a book writer, but more
honestly, I’m an iPhone user who on occasion,
to pay the mortgage, will pop out a novel or
two. The phone has taken over and partly
destroyed my life. I’m on every level of social
media, pounding out invective and publicis-
ing my books. As a dystopian writer, I’m
keeping up with the news on a 30-second
basis, addicted to the despair around me. As a
watch collector, my sad middle-aged hobby,
I’m constantly surfing watch sites (yes, that’s a
thing) and figuring out new pieces to stalk for
my collection. Texting? You bet. The usual
texts to keep up with my spouse and friends
and plumber, and the constant stream of
work texts to agents, editors and impatient
delivery drivers.
J. has picked up on the fact that Daddy

110 menshealth.com.au
lives on the phone, and he’s started swiping
my phone and my wife’s, and, because he
was born post-2010, he uses it as naturally as I
used an abacus when I was growing up in the
Soviet Union in the early 1970s. I’m not
Children were always in a hurry to grow up,
but life was never this fast-paced and SMARTPHONE
data-driven. When I was my son’s age, my PARENTING
father told me that there was a tree that grew
baguettes. This idea obsessed me for By the Numbers

worried about him finding the wrong content,
at least not yet. He’s mostly into videos on
prime numbers and the aurora australis. But
he is figuring out that the future of his world
will be lived as much in the digital realm as in
the real one. Which is to say, my four-year-old
has discovered texting.
“GOOD NEWS,”
he writes to his beloved babysitter.
“THE THUNDERSTORM STOPPED NINE
HOURS AND 20 MINUTES AGO.”
“CAN YOU GO TO WAGAMAMA WITH ME?”
“I HAVE 995 DOLLARS AND 30 CENTS.”
32
probably a good full year. He and I once
passed a tree that looked like it had a bicycle
tyre stuck between its branches, and my
father looked at me as if to say, “See? All kinds
of stuff grows on trees.” It was then that I
became a true believer.
These days, my son would just type “Do
baguettes grow on trees?” into my phone and
Percentage of kids
three seconds later tell me, “Daddy, that is not
who said they feel
correct” in the same tone that he adopts with they are unimportant
his stuffed animals when they get a problem when their parents are
wrong in “maths class.” distracted by a phone
I understand that human beings evolve,
and that the barriers between humans and
technology will continue to collapse. But I
don’t want my son to go to the other side just
yet, no matter how sophisticated it may seem.

“ABSOLUTELY,”
Perhaps it is time to tell my son the truth.
Daddy looks at his phone so much not 1 in 3
Number of parents who
because it makes him happy but because
his babysitter texts back. every tap of his screen delivers a tiny burst of report reading texts
dopamine that makes him swipe and tap even while driving with
their kid
“THAT’S A LOT OF MONEY, J.” more in an endless cycle designed to deliver

“THANKS,” he texts her back. “4:30.”
I’m glad that my four-year-old is worried
enough about his babysitter to make sure she
stays out of the rain. I’m also glad he can invite
her to an early noodle dinner (4:30) and
communicate that he’s got enough cash on
hand for when the check comes. (I honestly
don’t know how he got that much money. Has
he been investing on the side?)
But is this right for a four-year-old? Am I
denying him the opportunity to be a child?
Should I be taking away his phone? More to
the point, am I a bad role model?
– Gary Shteyngart is the author of several novels; Lake Success is his most recent. Bug him on Twitter @Shteyngart.
54
ad revenue to a few large corporations in
northern California. Instead of relieving his
fear and anxiety, the phone adds to it.
Maybe J. would understand. He knows
when Daddy is scared. When confronted with
the 135m high London Eye (I am both a
claustrophobe and an acrophobe), he said,
“Don’t worry, Daddy; I’ll hold your hand.” percentage of
Parenthood is not for the fainthearted, and children ages 8-13
sometimes I forget my son needs me more who believe
than I need him. It’s time to let go of the that their parents
anxiety and dopamine craving and shut my check their phone
phone down. The real world is waiting for us, too frequently
and so is the world of the imagination, which Sources: AVG Technologies/Research
Now; The Journal of Pediatrics
is the best world of all.

FATHERHOOD FIX
STOP YOUR
DISTRACTED
DADDING
Parents who used their
phone around their kids
reported feeling less
of a connection than
parents who didn’t, found
a 2018 study by U S and
Canadian researchers
Why You Do It
“The common perception is that
babies are like vegetables,” says
Dr Roberta Golinkoff, author of
Becoming Brilliant. It’s easy to
think that they won’t notice you
or care that you’re on your phone,
she says, and parents of kids of all
ages often see their smartphone
as a “break” that they deserve.
Plus, people often lose track of
time on their phone, assuming
they’ll just check it for a minute
but then 10 pass, she adds. This
makes you a more absent father
than you think.
Why You Shouldn’t
“Children, even babies, are
looking for collaboration and
communication,” says Golinkoff.
“When you use your smartphone
around your child, you are putting
up a wall. You’re taking away the
possibility of shared talk and
emotion.” What’s the big deal?
One study Golinkoff conducted
found that when parents took a
phone call while trying to teach
their child a word, the child
never ended up learning it in the
allotted time. In short: your phone
hampers parenting.
How to Cut Back
“It’s as simple as putting the
phone away,” Golinkoff says.
“There’s no big magic trick.” And
there’s no middle ground. When
you’re interacting with your child,
place the phone in a designated
bowl or drawer. Putting it out of
reach isn’t good enough. “If you
can see the phone, you will likely
give in to temptation,” she says.
You can still take a phone break
after, say, 30 minutes of focused
play, but make sure child time and
phone time are separate.

January 2019 111

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120 Build an armour-plated chest 122 Muscle secrets from Thor’s trainer 128 Take your fitness to new heights

B E C AU S E F I T I S T H E N E W R I C H

ATTACK LIFE
YOUR WAY
Justin Theroux’s approach to work and
play seems a little unusual – until you
realise how well it works for him
MIKE ZIMMERMAN BEN WATTS

January 2019 115


THE MAVERICK
Hollywood big-hitter Justin Theroux will try
anything once. Find out how to exploit risk
and instinct to land your most telling blows
For the record, I wasn’t staring into
Theroux’s hazel eyes. I was watching his
boxing gloves, conveniently positioned just
below his eyes to protect “home base”, the
point of his jaw. The funny thing is, even
though I do indeed make excessive eye
contact with those gloves, I never see the jab
coming. A quick right. He tags my left eye
and nose but good; isn’t headgear supposed
to prevent pain? I wait to feel the blood run
down over my lips, but it doesn’t. Theroux
pops me again a few times. He’s punching at
will now, and I can’t do anything about it.
116 menshealth.com.au
NONE OF THIS should be
surprising, as my biggest
previous boxing claim before
today was watching
Muhammad Ali spar when
I was nine years old. I’d never
had my hands taped, put
on headgear and stepped
into a ring with anyone. I
recommend it.
A boxing workout is a
destroyer, and a rebuilder, of
men. We’re in the ring at
Gotham Gym in New York
City’s West Village, where
Theroux lives. Sunshine
streams through the front
windows, but the dozens of
boxing-glove pairs hanging
from the ceiling say, “This is
where people come to work.”
For Theroux, who at 46
looks single-digit-body-fat
lean, boxing is his primary
workout. I’m only two years
older, but he’s done this a lot,
so any other in-the-ring
factors like height, weight
and reach are meaningless.
I don’t know shit.
I don’t feel bad about
this. Later, Theroux tells the
RANGE FINDER:
THEROUX’S
VERSATILITY KNOWS
NO BOUNDS.
following story about
sparring with a female trainer
at the gym who’s about 15
centimetres shorter than he
is: “I hate getting hit. And
she’s so fast, a better boxer
than me, by far. It’s so
frustrating. A couple of times
she really rang my bell. And I
was a combination of
hurt-slash-pissed. Am I
gonna cry or knock her head
off? But I couldn’t touch her.
Too quick. But I see that a lot
in sparring. People get
pissed, get emotional, and
 JUSTIN THEROUX

cruising through his forties
looking good, strong and
engaged. Pretty much every
guy wants to feel like that.
Talking with Theroux offers
some clues as to how he’s
pulled it off. Word of warning:
he does make it look easy,
but that’s just because you
only see the result, not the
work he put into it.
Remember, the guy’s 46 –
he’s been around the block
a few times.
Let’s start with range. It’s
his professional hallmark.
Actor, writer, producer. He
played a douchey director for
David Lynch in Mulholland
Drive, a psycho with a
six-pack in Charlie’s Angels:
Full Throttle, and Evil DJ in
the Zoolander films. (He
wrote the second one.) He
also joined the screenwriter
ranks with Tropic Thunder,
Iron Man 2, and Rock of Ages.
The “full retard” speech in
Tropic is all his. More recently,
he’s gone heavy, headlining
HBO’s The Leftovers for three
seasons and taking parts in
The Girl on the Train and the
underrated Netflix flick Mute.
(The sick-o-meter goes to 11
in the latter role.) Which
explains why he was grateful
when he was offered the
action-comedy The Spy Who
Dumped Me. “I can tell you I
am a spy, and I do dump
someone,” he says. “This little
bonbon popped up and I love
Mila [Kunis] and Kate
[McKinnon], so I was like,
‘Yeah, let’s go to Budapest
and do this. I get to shoot
things, blow things up and
be a spy for a while.’”
Ask him about his
formula for life and work, and
Theroux offers the usual
annoying answer – “I’m
lucky” – and while that’s
technically true, there’s more
to it than that. (Since we’ve
mentioned luck, it would be
strange not to mention his
marriage to Jennifer Aniston.
They announced their
separation in February.
Theroux doesn’t discuss his
personal life with strangers,
much less one with a digital
recorder. But if “I’m lucky”
is a viable explanation for
the rest of his life, then it
obviously covers romance,
as well.)
In the early ’90s, after
graduating from Bennington
College with a drama and
visual-arts degree, he
became that stereotypical
young New York artist
bouncing between acting
jobs and painting murals in
nightclubs, then expanding
into bitsy film roles and,
eventually, bigger gigs. In
those younger days, though,
he felt the pain of things not
going the way or at the pace
he wanted. “When I was in
my early 20s, I was
impatient,” he says. “Always
wanting things to happen the
way I wanted them to
happen. And that has gone
away. Not completely –
because there are definitely
things I want to happen in
the time I want them to
happen. But I don’t lose sleep
over things anymore the
same way I used to.”
Why? It could be because
he’s got a much firmer grip
on patience, and a better idea
of what choices will make him
happy. “I learned – not early,
but at some point – if you do
the things you like to do,
you’ll produce better work.
When you’re doing things
you don’t want to do, the
work suffers. How could it
not? You’re not interested in
it. I gravitate toward the next
thing I think I’ll enjoy, as
opposed to things I think
would be smart to do or a
good career decision.”
He’s also learned enough
patience to engage in what
might be called deliberate
spontaneity: positioning
yourself so that you’ll be able
to take advantage of
opportunities. “I was talking
to someone recently about
bucket lists, and I was like, ‘I
don’t have a bucket list’. In
ideal circumstances, the
bucket list just starts to
happen if you’re leading
your life well.”
He offers multiple
examples: “I happened to be
driving by a skydiving school
once and decided to go
skydiving. A split-second
decision. It wasn’t anything I
planned. I always wanted to
ride a motorcycle across
Europe. I’ve done that three
times now.”
The best window into

that’s kind of the point of A trainer with serious boxing

sparring: keep breathing,
remain loose, not tense.”
That’s exactly what I’m
not doing. My endurance is
okay, but where I really feel
the failure is in my rigid
shoulders and arms. At the
end, my gloves quite literally
start to drop on their own.
Keep breathing. Remain
loose. Not tense.
A good life philosophy in
six words. An actor with
some boxing chops takes
down the less-skilled writer.
chops takes down the actor.
The circle of life? Nope. Not
really. Just a healthy
reminder that even if you
keep breathing and remain
loose, not tense, skills matter.
BOTH IN AND OUT of the
ring, Theroux handles himself
just fine. He seems to have
figured out how to engineer
his life so that he enjoys it
more often than he doesn’t.
So work is rewarding more
than it is soul-crushing. He’s
My Motorcycle
“It’s gonna sound like I’m plugging BMW, but the best
motorcycle is the BMW F800 GS because it serves the
most purposes,” says Theroux, who has ridden across
Europe. “It’s great in the city, it’s very shock-absorbent
for potholes and cobblestones, it’s grunty, you sit high
up, it’s got heated handlebars for the
winter, and you can also slap some
luggage on it and go very far. It’s a
stable bike and has ABS brakes.
You’re not gonna win any lap races,
but it’s a great utilitarian bike and
you can’t kill it with a gun.”

January 2019 117

 LIFE LESSON: DOGS
DRIVE YOU CRAZY
BEFORE BREAKING
YOUR HEART,
SAYS THEROUX.

RAPID FIRE
Best Euphemism for Sex
“Knocking boots.”

Best Reason to Have Sex

“Uh, it’s Wednesday?
The clock strikes 11?”

Preferred Party Drink

“Tequila on the rocks with
club soda and lime.”

Last Cool Thing

He Recommended
to a Friend
“Eco-friendly steel straws.”

Book That Made

an Impact
“Oscar Wilde, by
Richard Ellmann.”

Last Time He Cried

“I don’t weep, but I do get
choked up all the time. I was
with a friend and I won’t say
what we were talking about,
but we both started to get
choked up, and we both
started laughing about the
fact we were both getting
choked up about the thing
we were talking about.”

Hero
“My mum. She’s a stud. She
did a collection of eulogies
under the idea that it’s a
shame that such beautiful
things are written when the
person’s dead. It would be
nice if that sort of kindness
could be shown to people
when they’re alive.”

118 menshealth.com.au

“I think doubt is a good thing.
We’re all doubting whenever we
set out to do something new”
Theroux’s mindset might be
his criteria for tattoos. He has
a bunch and is never opposed
to getting more, but his
approach is different from
what you’d expect. “I don’t
put a lot of thought into
mine. I never had a stage
when I was like, ‘I want to get
a tattoo, it has to be really
meaningful, it’s also gotta
have a yin and yang in it and
be an homage to my
mother’. There are a lot of
people designing their own
tattoos who are frustrating a
lot of tattoo artists. I’m real
easy. I’ll go in, like, ‘What
should we do?’ ‘I dunno,
what do you wanna do?’
So it’s kind of when the
mood strikes.”
He recently got some
sizable ink on his back as a
tribute to his deceased pit
bulls – a rat for one dog and a
pigeon for the other, two
denizens often encountered
in parks in New York City. His
is a life of diversity. And that’s
by design.
THAT SETUP makes it sound
like Theroux glides from one
success to the next thinking
golden thoughts. Not true.
Yes, he penned Iron Man 2
and Zoolander 2, but neither
sequel will ever be
mentioned in the same
breath as The Godfather Part
II. He juggled projects
decades before the gig
economy existed.
An actor and writer lives
the freelance life, with the
complete set of negatives
attached. Lack of security
being problem number one.
Does he have doubts?
Maybe. But negative can
be positive. In fact, it should
be positive.
“I think doubt is a good
thing,” he says. “We’re all
doubting whenever we set
out to do anything new. But
that’s a motivating factor to
try to make it good. It’s
destructive if you let it creep
over the entire process, but I
don’t dwell. I doubt things,
but I hope things, too. That’s
when you give it the best
chance of success by
working harder or practising
or rewriting. That’s how I deal
with doubt.” Then he smiles.
“Or I just pretend I’m not
doubting myself.”
Theroux also
understands how to handle
situations that aren’t
working. “I get up and do
what I do,” he says. “When I
do things I don’t necessarily
want to do, or I get stuck in a
situation where I’m like, ‘Oh,
this was not the best choice,’
I’m still aware there’s
something to be gleaned
from that experience. You
have to just find some
nugget that makes it
worthwhile. Otherwise you’ll
completely give up. Bad
work experiences are
instructive: (A) what I
shouldn’t do again; (B) how
things are done wrong and
how I can do better.”
Now we begin to see
what kinds of skills
matter to Theroux, especially
when they’re coupled with
keep breathing, remain loose,
not tense.
Aside from work,
Theroux fills out his life with
some genuine loves:
motorcycles and dogs. If you
ask him about his favourite
bike, he rattles off a complete
paragraph in one breath.
(See sidebar, page 117.) He’s
also partial to pit bulls – he’s
taking custody of a new
rescue dog later in the week.
“Dogs do drive you crazy,”
he says. “It’s like having a
toddler that’ll never speak,
and toward the end of their
life they get very sweet and
tender and break your heart.”
For him, dogs offer
companionship, of course,
but it’s bigger than that. No
matter how good or bad he
thinks his life is at any point,
they seem to have taught
him a little bit about
big-picture suffering. “I had
one dog, a pit bull who’s
dead now, who had night
terrors,” he says. “She would
wake up in the middle of the
night whining and
screaming. She was a very
traumatised dog.”
Still, there’s nothing like
the anticipation of a new
puppy’s arrival. Until then,
you can probably find
Theroux boxing, working on
a new script and keeping one
eye on the horizon.
As our time winds down,
he casually mentions how
surprised he was that I
jumped into the ring with
him that morning. He claims
that many students of
boxing take a long time to
try sparring.
I can honestly tell him
that when I got the offer, I
didn’t hesitate. Why would I?
That’s a mindset he can
understand, and an approach
I used to be a lot better at. I
may never master keep
breathing, remain loose, not
tense. But a willingness to
get into the ring counts as
a skill.
In the meantime, may
we all push ourselves to a
point where we can say
something like this: “There’s
nothing I’m dying to do.
Nothing gnawing at me.”
Then Theroux laughs. “There
are things I know I will do. I
just don’t know what they
are yet.”
JUSTIN THEROUX
T H E J U ST I N T H E R O U X WO R KO U T S
Shred Your
Arms and Abs
There are no secrets, just timeless
weight-room exercises that Theroux
has done for decades. “We stick with
the basics,” says his trainer, Rob
Piela. Theroux typically works out
five days a week. Most sessions start
with 40 minutes of boxing training
and end with 20 minutes in the
weight room working his abs, doing
circuits or deadlifting.
ABS-BLASTER
Do 3 sets of each exercise, resting for
30-45 seconds between sets.
HANGING LEG-RAISE: Hang from a
chin-up bar with an overhand grip. Core
braced, keeping your legs straight, raise
them as high as possible, then lower them.
That’s 1 rep; do 20-40.
DECLINE SIT-UP: Lie on a decline bench
with your feet firmly anchored, holding a
weight plate over your chest. (Theroux uses
10- and 20-kilogram plates, but you should
start with a 5-kger.) Tighten your abs and
raise your torso; as you do this, raise the
plate over your head. Slowly lower yourself
back to the starting position. That’s 1 rep;
do 20-40.
CABLE CRUNCH: Connect a rope attach-
ment to a high cable machine loaded with a
medium weight and kneel beside it. Grasp
the rope and lower it so that its handles are
near your ears. This is the start. Without
moving your hips, contract your abs; try to
touch your elbows to your knees. Return to
the start. That’s 1 rep; do 20-40.
BICYCLE CRUNCH: Start lying on your
back, hands behind your head, legs off the
ground and knees and hips bent at 90°. Press
your lower back into the ground. Bring your
left knee toward your chest; touch your right
elbow to that knee. Return to the start; repeat
on the other side. That’s 1 rep; do 20-40.
STRENGTH CIRCUIT
Do 8-12 reps of each move; battle through
2-3 rounds. Rest as needed between moves,
but try to keep it short.
Squat > Deadlift > Chin-up >
Push-up > Shoulder lateral raise >
Dumbbell biceps curl > Triceps
cable pressdown
January 2019 119
 BUILD YOUR WAR CHEST
Here’s an idea: don’t camp out on the barbell bench press every single Monday
EBENEZER SAMUEL ALLIE HOLLOWAY

The secret to building a chest that pops out of your shirt and helps DIRECTIONS Do this workout on
make you look like a superhero: stop training like everyone else. Mondays, Thursdays and Saturdays.
Forget all that time on the barbell bench press and focus on training Rest on Sundays. On the other days,
with dumbbells and making your movements precise. Concentrate on blitz 1500m on the rowing machine
maintaining a tight core and squeezing your pecs hard on every single and do 4 sets of 10-12 single-arm
rep – which is what you’ll be doing throughout this month’s program. dumbbell rows per arm.

THE WARM-UP THE WORKOUT

To protect your shoulders, awaken your back Focus on form as you build size and strength
muscles before you start training your chest during this 3-step chest workout

1
DUMBBELL BENCH PRESS
Lie on a bench, holding medium-weight dumbbells
directly over your shoulders. Keep your core and
glutes tight. This is the start. Squeeze your
shoulder blades and bend at the elbows and
shoulders, lowering the dumbbells to your chest.
Pause, then drive the dumbbells back upwards.
Try to squeeze your chest once your arms are
straight again. That’s 1 rep; do 4 sets of 12.

1
EB SAYS
SUPERMAN HOLD “Squeeze your glutes
Lie facedown on the floor, arms and legs extended. Tighten hard when you
your glutes, raising your feet and thighs about 10cm in the bench; it’ll give you
air. As you do this, squeeze your back muscles, lifting your greater stability.”
arms and chest off the floor. Hold for 2 seconds, then lower
loor. That’s 1 rep; do 3 sets of 10.
back to the fl

2 3
SHOULDER
EXTERNAL ROTATION
ROT
Stand with your right side a
metre from a resistance
band; grasp its end with
your left hand. Keeping
your elbow locked to your
side, rotate at the
shoulder, pulling the band
away. Don’t strain. Do 2
sets of 15 reps on each arm.
ROW-TO-PUSH-UP COMPLEX
Stand holding medium-weight
dumbbells at your sides.
Bend your knees and hinge
at your hips; let the
dumbbells hang. Row them to
your rib cage; do 6. Place
the dumbbells on the floor,
then do 6 slow push-ups,
squeezing your shoulder
blades on each rep. Repeat.

120 menshealth.com.au
 BUILD YOUR WAR CHEST

YOUR MUSCLE MASTER

Ebenezer Samuel, is a certified strength and
conditioning expert who has trained with
numerous professional and Olympic athletes.
You’ll be seeing his fitness and muscle tips
throughout the magazine from time to time.

THE FINISHER
2
MIXED-STYLE INCLINE DUMBBELL PRESS
Lie on a bench set to a 30° incline, holding medium-weight dumbbells directly
over your shoulders. Keeping your left arm straight, lower the right dumbbell
to your chest and press it back up; repeat. Next, keep your right arm straight,
This farmer’s walk drill
lower the left dumbbell to your chest and press it back up; repeat. Now lower hones posture, which can
both dumbbells to your chest and press them back up; repeat. Go through the help your chest look bigger
sequence 2 more times for 1 set.
set Do 4 sets.
sets
Start standing with heavy
dumbbells at your sides.
Take 10 steps forward, then
10 backwards. Do this for 5
minutes. For the first
EB SAYYS minute, walk for 30 seconds,
“There’s aba work, too o; then rest for 30
30. Walk for 5
don’t le
et your torso more seconds each minute
tilt to onee side on the after that. Do 2 rounds.
single-arm reps.”

3a
CROSSOVER PUSH-UP
Start to the left of a
resistance band. Grab it
and get in push-up position,
far enough away that you
feel light tension. Do a
push-up. As you raise your
torso, lift your right hand
and pull the band across
your chest. Place it on the
floor, hold, then return to
the start. That’s 1 rep; do
8-10 reps per side. After
each set, without resting,
do exercise 3b. Do 3 sets.
3b
INCLINE PUSHUP
Get in push-up position, hands directly
below your shoulders on a bench. Do push-ups
for 30 seconds, focusing on aggressively
squeezing your chest at the top of each rep.
Rest for 30 seconds after each set.
EB SAYS
“Squeeze your inner AVOID BOOBY TRAPS
chest with the same Preventing man boobs
ferocity as on the
crossover push-up.”
involves more than push-ups
BACK THINGS UP
If you want a bigger chest, do back
exercises. Doing only push-ups and
bench presses will lead your chest-
muscle fibres to tighten, pulling your
shoulders forward (especially if you
have a desk job). Offset that with rows;
stronger back muscles will pull your
shoulders back, allowing your chest
fibres to broaden out visually.

SQUEEEEEZE!
Your chest muscles are responsible for
more than just pressing weight upward;
they also adduct your shoulder, pulling
it toward your chest. When you do your
chest moves, stimulate your inner chest
fibres by squeezing your chest hard as
you straighten your arms. Keep that in
mind during this workout, especially
when you’re doing crossover push-ups
and incline push-ups.

January 2019 121

 TRADE SECRETS

SHRED ALERT
CHRIS HEMSWORTH’S TRAINER, LUKE ZOCCHI, HAS
At a glance
Expert Luke Zocchi
Age 34
SEEN THE LIGHT. INSTEAD OF GOD-LIKE MASS, HE Height 171cm
URGES, AIM FOR A PHYSIQUE THAT’S CUT AND AGILE Weight 72kg
Book The A-list Diet &
Fitness Plan (Plum; $35)
is out now

BIG PROBLEMS HIIT YOUR TARGETS

My job is to get Chris in shape for roles. And when that
role is Thor, that means getting him big. I shadow his
body shape, basically, so I’ve got as heavy as 80kg. But
I’m just not as functional when I’m lugging around a lot
of excess muscle. Paddling out to surf, it’s hard work.
I get the look and feel I’m after from HIIT workouts.
I push harder than I do when bulking but spend less
time in the gym (about 20 minutes, plus warm-up)
for better results. Here’s a circuit: squats, mountain
climbers, lunges, running on the spot and a core

GET LEAN
I feel much more athletic around 72kg. move – 20 seconds on, 40 seconds’ rest for each.

& MEAN
THE WHOLE TRUTH
With Chris, I’ve tried every diet
under the sun. Here’s the best
one: eat wholefoods. Base your
meals around lean meat,
legumes, vegetables and fruits.
Dodge processed carbs and
don’t count kilojoules; just eat to
BE A CRAWLER
I’m a big fan of the bear crawl for
warming up but also as a
total-body exercise. Going
forward, your legs are the motor,
while in reverse your shoulders
take over. Your core’s switched
on the whole time, too.
ROOM FOR
IMPROVEMENT
You can do bodyweight training
anywhere. Right now I’m in Italy
and I can work out on my Juliet
balcony. It’s hard to get huge
with bodyweight, but chiselled
and strong? For sure! Just keep
LESS PAIN, MORE GAIN
Another plus of bodyweight
training is you can do it
everyday without annihilating
yourself like a single leg day
with heavy loads can do. It’s
about consistent, moderate
stimulation that leaves you
WORDS BY DANIEL WILLIAMS

satiety when hungry. And listen upping the sets and reps and/or feeling great all day.
up: when it comes to looking the difficulty of the move.
great training’s important, but
diet is the key.

122 menshealth.com.au
A-Z YOUR ULTIMATE
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 SPAIN AND GAINS

SPAIN AND GAINS

Bite into a taste of summer – and avoid slipping into a
TIME TO MAKE
10MIN
YOU WILL NEED...
• Onion, ¼, chopped
• Microwaveable mixed
PROTEIN pepper rice, 125g
post-workout siesta at your desk – with this energising,
high-protein chicken, prawn and chorizo paella
65G • Paprika, ¼tsp
• Concentrated chicken
KILOJOULES stock, 1tbsp

2430 • Chorizo, 35g, diced

• Frozen peas, 25g
CARBS • King prawns, 90g
46G • A tomato, chopped
• Pre-cooked
flame-grilled chicken
slices, 130g

15 G -f uellin
g

m u scle n in a
of protei ing of
0 g ser v awns
9 g pr
k in

0 0 0
14
14

14
2

2
2

Go with the grain

12
12

4
12
4

for a speedy
10

6
10

10

8 8 8
lunchtime recharge.

0-4min 4-6min 6-10min

Microwave your chopped onion on high
for two minutes, then leave to one side.
Zap the packet of rice for 60 seconds,
before mixing it with paprika, chicken
stock and a splash of boiling water. Cook
the mixture for a further minute.
Cured meats aren’t just tasty; they
contain high levels of selenium, which
fights the damaging free radicals
released by hard workouts. Add the
chorizo, peas, prawns and chopped
tomato; cook for two minutes.
Add the chicken and cooked onion,
before stirring in well. Blitz on full power
in the microwave for a final three minutes.
Season to taste. Now tuck in while you
browse for last-minute holiday deals: we
hear Valencia is nice at this time of year.
WORDS: MICHAEL JENNINGS; PHOTOGRAPHY: LUCKY IF SHARP

SUPER SIDE

ROCKET
FUEL
SUPERCHARGE YOUR
BODY’S DEFENCES
AGAINST PERSISTENT
SUMMER COLDS WITH
THIS REFRESHING, Rinse a large handful of rocket leaves Add a hazelnuts,
ts p Green & Lean
ANTIOXIDANT-RICH and throw them into a side bowl. tomatoes and a dash of ra e d oil. Serve with the paella for two bowls
ROCKET SALAD Finish with a squeeze of lemon. bursting with flavour and nutrition.

124 menshealth.com.au
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 STRENGTH IN DEPTH

Tyres and
atlas stones
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ST R O N G M A N
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STRENGTH IN DEPTH
By embracing the strongman scene you will
Magnús s Ver
Magnússon
Wins:
take your fitness back to first principles First crrowned
in 1991,
and unleash the beast within. Are you game? Magnússo on won
his last
1 Icelan nd’s
stronges st man
WHERE DO I START? title at the
Chances are your city or large town will have multiple gyms age off 41.
committed to the rise of modified strongman training, which
focuses on conditioning rather than ripping phonebooks apart.
Sydney’s Lift Performance Centre and Warrior Performance
are two examples of spaces where the pursuit of strength rules.
6
Brian Shaw
2
Wins: WHAT SHOULD
WHO’S IT FOR? To maintain I AVOID?
Physically? Everyone. You can scale his huge, 193kg
B
frame, Shaw
“You can’t come to the
down heavy lifts to match your gym and fuck about
eats more than
strength . Mentally, it suits those 50,000kJ a day. taking selfies and WORDS: TED LANE; PHOTOGRAPHY: TOM WATKINS, PHILIP HAYNES; ILLUSTRATION:
A
jaded by the monotony of barbell That’s the posting them,” warns
work but who hanker after more grit equivalent
of about 24 Gotting. Strongman
than that of the more photogenic
Big Macs. training is awkward
calisthenics crowd.
and without proper
form and focus can
3
cause injury. You have
4
WILL IT GET ME RIPPED? to dial in and maintain
Yes, but not only in the obvious, IS THERE A SIGNATURE your concentration till
bulkier sense. “The extreme toll MOVE TO MASTER? Eddie Hall shower time. “Have
it takes on your body makes It’s drive time. Standing in front of a tyre, Wins: fun, but don’t be the
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underneath it. Keep your back straight as of 16, Hall has
says Ben Gotting, co-founder of the strived to
time finding the best
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means your body will continue to (A). Once the tyre is almost vertical, catch it to his weight than he does mastering
burn kilojoules long after you’ve overhand then push it (B) until it topples in stones. Now a lift.” Well said.
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getting tough.

126 menshealth.com.au
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 MASTER THE SUPERMAN PUSHUP

Back-up Plan In a Row Butting Edge

Strong middle-back Use dumbbell rows to Your glutes help
muscles will help you build the strength elevate your legs in
elevate your arms. Keep you’ll need to pull flight. Train them with 3
doing prone Supermans your arm backwards sets of 10 glute bridges

YOUR 29-DAY CHALLENGE

MASTER THE SUPERMAN PUSH-UP

Few bodyweight moves are as impressive as this one, which has you briefly taking flight
–just like the Man of Steel. Follow our five-week plan to liftoff. No cape required

WEEK 1* WEEK 2 WEEK 3 WEEK 4 WEEK 5

Do CLAP PUSH-UPS: At
the top of the move,
push off the floor
and clap your hands
together; descend.
Move on to SHOULDER- Do HANDS-FLYING Do full-body DAY 2 9
SLAP PUSH-UPS,
slapping your
PUSH-UPS, extending
your arms forward at
EXPLOSIVE PUSH-UPS,
“jumping” your whole S UP ERM AN!
shoulders at the the top of each rep body off the floor
top of the rep. before descending. on each rep.

DAY 1 5 SETS OF 6 DAY 8 5 SETS OF 4 DAY 15 4 SETS OF 3 DAY 22 3 SETS OF 2

DAY 2 5 SETS OF 6 DAY 9 5 SETS OF 4 DAY 16 4 SETS OF 3 DAY 23 3 SETS OF 2

DAY 3 5 SETS OF 8 DAY 10 5 SETS OF 6 DAY 17 4 SETS OF 4 DAY 24 3 SETS OF 3

DAY 4 PRONE SUPERMANS. DAY 11 PR ONE SU P ER MAN S, DAY 18 PRO NE SU PER MAN S, DAY 25 P RO N E S U PE RM AN S ,
LIE ON YOUR BELLY, 5 SETS OF 10 T HI S T I ME HO LD I NG H O L DI N G FO R 2
ARMS EXTENDED FOR 2 SECONDS, SECONDS, 4 SETS OF 8
FORWARD. LIFT YOUR DAY 12 5 SETS OF 6 4 SETS OF 8
LEGS AND ARMS. SHOULDER-SLAP DAY 26 3 SETS OF 4 FULL-
THAT’S 1 REP; DO 5 PU SH-U P S DAY 19 4 SETS OF 6 HANDS- BODY EXPLOSIVE
WORDS: JAY MARYNIAK; ILLUSTRATION: +ISM

F LY I N G PU SH-U P S P U S H- U P S
DAY 5 5 SETS OF 10 CLAPS DAY 13 5 SETS OF 8
DAY 20 4 SETS OF 6 DAY 2 7 3 SETS OF 4
DAY 6 5 SETS OF 12 DAY 14 T EST: CO M P LET E LOW ER YO U R BO DY,
10 SHOULDER-SLAP DAY 21 TEST: P ERFO R M 1 SET DAY 2 8 T EST: DO 5 F U LL- BO DY T H EN EX PLO D E I N TO T H E
DAY 7 TEST: DO 15! CAN’T? PUSH-UPS, BACK-TO- OF 8 HANDS-FLYING EXPLOSIVE PUSH-UPS. AI R . EXT EN D YO U R AR M S ;
REDO WEEK 1. BACK. NOT THERE YET? PU SH-U P S. C AN’ T? MISSED IT? REPEAT SQUEEZE YOUR GLUTES.
R EPE AT WEE K 2 . T RY W EEK 3 AGA I N. WEEK 4. LAND. RESET. SMILE.

*PREREQUISITE Before starting Week 1, do 1 set of 10 explosive push-ups, pushing your hands off the floor on each rep.

128 menshealth.com.au
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 ONE WORD ANSWER
QUESTION
What much-
maligned carb
staple could
actually help you
lose weight?
PASTA HAS BEEN A STAPLE on the
Australian menu since at least the 1950s,
when the flood of postwar European
migration changed our eating habits for
the good. The old meat-and-three-veg
go-to hasn’t disappeared entirely – and
for good reason (nutritionally, at least).
But there are few men nowadays who
don’t appreciate the hearty delight of a
thumping great spag bol, topped liberally
with Parmesan, of course.
In recent years, however, a joy-killing
myth has surrounded spaghetti. It has
widely been blamed – lumped alongside
other refined foods such as white bread
– for today’s diabetes, obesity and heart
disease epidemics. Is pasta a fat-piling
“poison”, as ex tennis champ Pat Cash
has claimed? And if so, how did it
become the world’s most popular dish?*
ANSWER
Spaghetti
130 menshealth.com.au
Science is on your spag bol’s side. In a
study published in the journal BMJ Open,
Canadian researchers analysed how
pasta affects bodyweight and BMI. They
found that test subjects who ate
spaghetti instead of other carbs actually
lost a small amount of weight. This was
attributed to its negligible fat and
cholesterol content, and the fact that it’s
an excellent source of low-glycaemic
carbohydrates: it releases its glucose
slowly into the bloodstream, making you
feel full for longer. These findings support
an earlier report published in Nutrition
and Diabetes, in which Italian scientists
(perhaps predictably) argued that pasta
consumption decreases your chances
of obesity.
The problem with spaghetti, then,
isn’t that it’s inherently bad for us – it’s
that it’s so good, so satisfying, that we’re
tempted to fork it down in unhealthy
quantities. “We serve . . . immense
portions,” sighed Fred Plotkin, author of
The Authentic Pasta Book, back in 1997.
Yet even after two decades of wellness
culture and carbophobia, we continue to
overload our plates. A bolognese in
Bologna typically contains 100g of pasta;
It’s likely to contain double that here.
Italians have traditionally lived by
what they call “l’arte di arrangiarsi”, or the
art of getting by on what you have. This
credo manifests on the plate as the
celebrated, no-nonsense Mediterranean
diet, with a sensible portion of pasta as its
centrepiece. So, whether you’re in Rome
or Rockhampton, do as the Romans do
– and resist the urge to have too much of
a good thing.
WORDS: YO ZUSHI; PHOTOGRAPHY: JOBE LAWRENSON;*OXFAM
Exclusive to the National Gallery of Australia, Canberra

14 DECEMBER 2018 — 28 APRIL 2019