#9 (57) september 2007

contents cultperson
NEWS4U .......................................................................................4

CINEMA: Fun with Woody Allen......................................................5

8
CULTPERSON: Ninja ....................................................................8

PHENOMENON: Right Handedness.............................................10

The Meals series: Lunch .......................................................11

SCIENCE
SCIENCE: Microbes - the Good They Do .....................................12

RELATIONS: Dealing with Being Dumped....................................16

12
HEALTH: Working with idiots can kill you! ....................................18

FUN: A Stupid Person’s Guide to Life...........................................19

JOKES: The Male/Female Stages Of Life ....................................20

LIFETIME: About Women.............................................................22 relations

HUMOR: Deja Vu Variants............................................................23

BUSINESS: Working Well With Others ........................................24

16
LANGUAGE: List of Portmanteau................................................26

ENTERTAINMENT: Mind Benders................................................28

QUIZ: Mythological Monsters Quiz ..............................................29

entertainment
LIFEUP: Blonde & Brunette Jokes ...............................................30

FICTION: Cassandra (by Cathy Kelly)..........................................32

28
NOtabene: Сколько слов нужно знать.....................................36

GRAMMAR: Phrasal Verbs: To Run.............................................38

Номер подготовлен при поддержке

Учредитель ЧП Хозин Д.С.
подписной индекс

91029
Свидетельство о регистрации КВ №9812 от 04.05.2005
журнал выходит 1 раз в месяц
Главный редактор Сеник Татьяна
Редакторы Хозин Дмитрий, Куклина Елена
Дизайн и верстка Андрусейко Роман
стоимость месячной подписки на 2007 год Размещение рекламы тел. (056) 788 22 08
информационного центра
«Окно в Америку» в г. Днепропетровск
Адрес редакции для писем:
49018, г. Днепропетровск, а/я 1239
Отдел распространения: (056) 788 22 08
Журнал отпечатан в ООО “Книга“,

7 грн. 80 коп. marketing@english4u.com.ua г. Днепропетровск, ул. Буденного, 4

Заказ №______ Тираж 8157 экз.
Сайт журнала: www.English4U.com.ua

Thai cops punished by Hello Kitty
Police chiefs in Bangkok have come up with a
new way of punishing officers who break the rules
- an eye-catching Hello Kitty armband1.
The armband is large, bright pink and has a Hello
Kitty motif with two hearts embroidered2 on it.
From today, officers who are late, park in the wrong
place or commit other minor transgressions3 will
have to wear it for several days, reports the BBC.
The armband is designed to shame4 the wearer,
police officials said.
“This is to help build discipline. We should not let
small offences go unnoticed,” Police Colonel Pongpat Chayapan said.
“Guilty officers will be made to wear the armbands in the office for a few days, with instruc-
tions not to disclose their offences. Let people guess what they have done,” he said.
Further offences would be dealt with using a more traditional disciplinary panel5, he said.
Smudge11 of Jesus sold
The cartoon character Hello Kitty was first introduced by Japanese company Sanrio in 1974.
The cute round-faced cat has become an Asia-wide marketing phenomenon, with Hel- An oil stain 12 on a garage floor that
lo Kitty products such as stationery, hair accessories and kitchen appliances available vaguely resembles the face of Jesus
across the region. has fetched 13 more than £750 in an
online auction.
Deb Serio found the image on her garage
Rugby nearly cost fans £5m floor in Forest, Virginia, and sold it on eBay
for $1,525.69, reports the Daily Telegraph.
Two rugby fanatics nearly lost out on a £5m lot-
Ms Serio, a high school teacher, said
tery jackpot because they did not want to miss the
she was surprised anyone wanted to buy
start of a match.
the oily slab of concrete14.
Paul and Denise Hardware had still not bought
“I really never thought I’d get any (mon-
a ticket for Saturday’s draw6 minutes before Wales
ey), to be honest,” she said.
kicked-off7 against Argentina.
She received hundreds of messages
Denise, 46, said: “I left a note on the kitchen table re-
from around the world from people inter-
minding Paul to do the lottery but he didn’t have time.
ested in the “smudge of Christ”.
“There were only a few minutes to go before the
The family has now hired a contractor to
match started on TV and I didn’t want to miss it. It
remove the section of concrete.
was pouring with rain.
The slab will then be delivered to the
“But it only took a few minutes to nip out and buy a ticket. It’s the best thing I’ve done.”
winner of the online auction, who is identi-
Paul said: “Denise wasn’t happy having to go out in the rain but I had to be back at work.
fied only as ‘islandoffthecoast’.
If I’d gone down there at a different time we probably wouldn’t have got the numbers.”
An active Lutheran, Ms Serio consid-
The 51-year-old pub chef revealed that a week earlier he saw a shooting star as he left
ers the smudge a slightly odd occurrence,
his snooker club and made a wish to win the lotto.
rather than a divine sign or miracle.
“Ever since, I’ve been in luck. I won £10 on the lottery on Wednesday and then I found a
“There are some people who need this
£10 note in the street,” he said. “Then, on Saturday, I hit the jackpot. I can’t believe it.”
kind of thing to sort of start them on their
The couple, from Street, Somerset, were handed their cheque for £4,986,272 by Wales
faith journey. I don’t,” she said.
rugby legend Gareth Edwards on the pitch of the Millennium Stadium in Cardiff.
“That’s why I don’t mind parting with it.”

Giant leap for mankind

All the eights for baby Lulu
A baby was born in Liverpool at 8.08am on the Chinese man Bao Xishun has lost his
eighth day of the eighth month weighing 8lbs after title as the world’s tallest man to a Ukrai-
her mum endured eight hours of labour8. nian who is EIGHT inches taller.
Mel Byrne, 31, gave birth to Lulu with help from Leonid Stadnik, a 36-year-old vet from
Chinese-born midwife9 Bea Fung, who helped de- the village of Podolanci in the Ukraine, is
liver10 eight babies that day, reports the Daily Mirror. now officially recognised by the Guinness
Mrs Fung said: “In Chinese culture the number eight Book of Records.
is considered very lucky. I was watching the clock as Measuring eight feet and five inches he
the birth approached and was counting the minutes has eclipsed the record previously held by
and she arrived at just the right time. 56-year-old Xishun.
“Straight away I told Mel and Pete their daugh- Stadnik’s growth spurt15 started at
ter was very lucky indeed.” age 14 after a brain operation apparently
Mrs Fung, who has been at Liverpool Women’s Hospital for 33 years, added: “The number stimulated his pituitary gland16, which
of eights linked to Lulu is incredible. I consider myself very lucky to have been there.” produces the human growth hormone.
The couple, from Woolton, Liverpool, already have a two-year-old daughter, Maisy. He had previously said he did not
Photographer Peter, 30, said: “Bea was very excited and kept telling us how lucky we were want the title of the world’s tallest man
and how lucky Lulu is. or to feature in the Guinness Book of
“I think I will be letting Lulu choose the lottery numbers as soon as she is old enough.” Records as a freak.
1
armband [`Rmbxnd] нарукавная повязка 10
to deliver [dI`lIvq] рожать He said he was not proud of being so
2
embroidered [Im`brOIdqd] украшенный вышивкой 11
smudge [smAG] грязное пятно tall and that it had brought him nothing but
3
transgression [trxnz`greS(q)n] проступок; нарушение 12
stain пятно
(закона, обязательства и т. п.)
[steIn] problems, including having trouble finding
13
to fetch [feC] приносить доход,
4
to shame [SeIm] стыдить; срамить; позорить зарабатывать a girlfriend.
5
panel [`pxn(q)l] совет, комиссия 14
slab of concrete бетонная плита He has been declared an invalid by au-
6
draw [drL] лотерея 15
spurt [spWt] внезапное резкое усилие,
7
to kick off [kIk] начинать рывок
thorities after doctors said his huge height
8
labour [`leIbq] родовые муки, роды 16
pituitary gland [pI`tjHIt(q)rI`glxnd] гипофиз is causing him serious health problems.
9
midwife [`mIdwaIf] акушерка


 medium

llan Stewart Konigsberg,

À a.k.a. Woody Allen, was
born in the Bronx on
December 1, 1935 to
Martin Konigsberg and
Nettie Cherry.
At the age of three he got
hooked on movies when his moth-
er took him to see Snow White.
From that day the movie theaters
became his second home.
At his first year of school he
was put in an accelerated class
because of his high IQ. But he
hated school from day one and
became rebellious. He didn’t do
his homework, was rude to the
teachers and sometimes dis-
ruptive2 in class. Surprisingly
he was very good in sports (bas-
ketball, stickball, football, base-
ball) in his early years and was
always among the first picked
in teams in the neighbourhood.
He also liked boxing and even
trained for several months until
his parents asked him to stop.
However, sports and movies
were not his only interests. He

Fun with
Woody Allen
In 1964, Woody entered the
film industry when he was hired
to do the screenplay What’s
New Pussycat.

His large body of work and cerebral film style, mixing satire, wit and humor, have
made him one of the most respected and prolific1 filmmakers in the modern era. Allen
writes and directs his movies and has also acted in the majority of them.
became obsessed with magic
and music; later characterising
elements in his movies. At the
age of fifteen he started play-
ing the clarinet3 and he plays it
daily, ever since.
In 1952 Allan S. Konigsberg
changed his name to Woody Al-
len. He was sixteen and starting
to write jokes which he sent to
several of the major New York
newspapers hoping them to be
used by some of the gossip col-
umnists. From that point on the
wheels started rolling for Woody
as a comedy writer.
After high school, he went to
New York University where he
studied communication and film,
but, never committed as a student,
he was thrown off his course due
to lack of punctuality and commit-
ment. He later briefly attended
City College of New York.
In November 1958, Woody
began co-writing with Larry
Gelbart for The Chevy Show on
NBC. The show, starring the fa-
mous Sid Caesar, stayed on TV
for ten years. For several years,
Woody was reasonably content
writing for TV, making $1,700
a week. But after seeing Mort
Sahl performing onstage, and
little by little losing interest in
writing TV, he decided to launch
a carrier of his own as a stand-
up comedian.
In 1958, Woody met his fu-
ture managers Charles H. Joffe
and Jack Rollins. Ever since,
they’ve negotiated millions of
dollars worth of contracts on
his behalf with others but no
formal contract exists among
them, only a handshake. They
Early films
His first movie production
was What’s New, Pussycat? in
1965, for which he wrote the
convinced him to do his own initial screenplay. He was hired
material onstage. by Warren Beatty to re-write a
Woody was a stand-up come- script, and to appear in a small
dian from 1960 to 1968. Allen part. Over the course of the re-
turned his weaknesses into his write, Beatty’s part grew smaller
strengths, developing his neu- and Allen’s grew larger. Beatty
rotic, nervous, and intellectual was upset and quit the produc-
persona, becoming more popu- tion. Peter O’Toole was hired for
lar as such with every year that the Beatty role, and Peter Sellers
passed. In 1960 he only made was brought in as well; Sellers
$75 per week, but in 1964 he was was a big enough star to demand
an established comic in demand many of Woody Allen’s best
across the country, making $5000 lines/scenes, prompting hasty re-
a week, and appeared frequently writes. This experience with med-
in nightclubs and on television. dling producers, egotistical stars,
Psychoanalysis
Allen spent at least 30 years undergoing psychoanalysis,
some three days a week. Many of his films contain a psy-
choanalysis scene.
Moment Magazine says “it drove his self-absorbed work”.
John Baxter, author of Woody Allen - A Biography, wrote
“Like Catholic confession, Allen’s form of analysis let the
penitent go free to sin again,” and that “Allen obviously
found analysis stimulating, even exciting.”
Allen says he ended his psychotherapy visits around the
time he began his relationship with Previn. He says he still
is claustrophobic and agoraphobic.

www.english4u.com.ua 

and directors ruining jokes, along
with a similar experience on the
James Bond spoof Casino Roy-
ale (for which he did uncredited
rewrites of his own scenes), led
Allen to decide that the only way
filmmaking was worthwhile was if
he was in control of the film.
Allen’s first directorial ef-
fort was What’s Up, Tiger
Lily? (1966), in which an exist-
ing Japanese spy movie was
redubbed4 in English by Allen
and his friends with completely
new, comic dialogue.
1960s and 1970s
His first conventional effort
was Take The Money and Run
(1969), which was followed by
Bananas, Everything You Always
Wanted To Know About Sex (But
Were Afraid to Ask), Sleeper,
and Love and Death.
In 1972, he also starred in the
film version of Play It Again, Sam,
which was directed by Herbert
Ross. All of Allen’s early films
were pure comedies that relied
heavily on slapstick5, inventive
sight gags6, and non-stop one-
liners7. Among the many no-
table influences on these films
are Bob Hope, Groucho Marx
and Humphrey Bogart. In 1976,
he starred in, but did not direct,
The Front (that task was handled
by Martin Ritt), a humorous and
poignant8 account of Hollywood
blacklisting9 during the 1950s.
Annie Hall marked a major
turn to more sophisticated hu-
mor and thoughtful drama. Annie
Hall set the standard for modern
romantic comedy, and also start-
ed a minor fashion trend with the
unique clothes worn by Diane
Keaton in the film (the offbeat10,
masculine clothing, such as ties
with cardigans, was actually
Keaton’s own). Allen’s working
title for Annie Hall was Anhedo-
nia - which means the inability to
enjoy pleasure (the reverse11 of
hedonism). Allen, who once had
an ill-defined relationship with
Diane Keaton, was anxious to
remove the impression that the
film reflected his life with her. It
is said that the role was written
especially for her, and even the
title speaks to this as Diane Kea-
ton’s given name is Diane Hall.
Her parents claimed that the
movie was 85% true, and Diane
herself found acting in the movie
emotionally embarrassing. The
film won the Oscar for being the
best movie 1977. Allen also won
the Oscar for the best direction.
At the ceremony, he didn’t show
up to accept the statue. The me-
dia found out that he was playing
the clarinet at the Michels’ that

evening, as on all Monday eve-
nings for decades. The explana-
tion he gave in an interview with
Stig Bjorkman, was that he felt
competing in arts rediculous.
Manhattan, released in 1979,
is a black-and-white film that
can be viewed as an hom-
age 12 to New York City, which
has been described as the true
“main character” of the movie.
As in many other Allen films,
the main characters are up-
per-class academics, literati13,
and occasional twits14. Even
though it makes fun of preten-
tious intellectuals, the story is
packed with obscure 15 refer-
ences that make it less acces-
sible to a general audience. The
love-hate opinion of cerebral 16
persons found in Manhattan is
characteristic of many of Allen’s
movies including Crimes and
Misdemeanors and Annie Hall.
Manhattan focuses on the com-
plicated relationship between a
middle-aged Isaac Davis (Allen)
and a seventeen-year-old Tracy
(Mariel Hemingway) – which
presages 17 Allen’s complicated
personal relationship with un-
der-aged Soon-Yi Previn.
Between Annie Hall and Man-
hattan Allen wrote and directed
the gloomy drama Interiors
(1978), in the style of the late
Swedish director Ingmar Berg-
man, one of Allen’s major influ-
ences. Interiors is considered
by critics as a significant break-
through past Allen’s “earlier,
funnier comedies” (a line from
1980’s Stardust Memories.)
1980s
Allen’s 1980s films, even
the comedies, have somber
and philosophical undertones.
Some, like September and
Stardust Memories, are often
said to be heavily influenced by
the works of European direc-
tors, most notably Ingmar Berg-
1
prolific [prq`lIfIk]
2
disruptive [dIs`rAptIv]
3
clarinet ["klxrq`net]
4
to redub [rI`dAb]
5
slapstick [`slxpstIk]
6
gag [gxg] гэг, вставной комический номер, шутка
7
one-liner ["wAn`laInq]
8
poignant [`pOInjqnt]
9
blacklisting [`blxk"lIstIN]
10
offbeat ["Of`bJt]
11
reverse [rJ`vWs]
12
homage [`hOmIG]
13
literati ["lIt(q)`rRtJ]
14
twit [twIt] дурак, тупица
15
obscure [qb`skjuq]
16
cerebral [`serqbr(q)l]
medium
man and Federico Fellini.
However, by the mid-1980s,
Allen had begun to combine
tragic and comic elements with
the release of such films as
Hannah and Her Sisters (winner
of three Academy Awards) and
Crimes and Misdemeanors, in
which he tells two different sto-
ries that connect at the end. He
also produced a vividly idiosyn-
cratic 18 tragi-comical parody of
documentary, titled Zelig.
He also made three films
about show business. The
first movie is Broadway Danny
Rose, in which he plays a Hol-
lywood manager; then, The
Purple Rose of Cairo, a movie
that shows the importance of
the cinema during the Depres-
sion though the character of
the naive Cecilia. Lastly, Allen
made Radio Days, which is a
film about the radio business
and how its crew became rich
and famous. Purple Rose was
named by Time Magazine as
one of the 100 best films of all
time, and Allen has described it
as one of his three best films,
along with Stardust Memories
and Match Point. (It is worth
noting that Allen defines them
as “best” not in terms of quality,
but because they came out the
closest to his original vision.)
Before the end of the eight-
ies he made other movies that
were strongly inspired by Ingmar
Bergman’s films. September is a
remake of Autumn Sonata, and
Allen uses many elements from
Persona in Another Woman.
1990s
His 1992 film Shadows and
Fog (1992) is a black and white
homage to German expression-
ists and features the music of
Kurt Weill. He then made his
critically acclaimed 19 drama
Husbands and Wives (1992)
which got two Oscar nomina-
tions Best Supporting Actress
for Judy Davis and Best Origi-
nal Screenplay for Allen. His
film Manhattan Murder Mystery
(1993) combined suspense
плодовитый
разрушительный; нарушающий
кларнет
заново дублировать (фильм)
грубый, дешёвый фарс; грубые шутки
острота; шутка (обычно в фильмах,
спектаклях и телевизионных программах)
резкий, колкий (о словах, замечаниях)
занесение в чёрный список
оригинальный, необычный
противоположный
почтение, уважение
литераторы, писатели; эрудиты
непонятный; малоизвестный
умственный, интеллектуальный
 medium
with dark comedy, and starred
Diane Keaton, Alan Alda and
Anjelica Huston.
In the late 1990s he returned
to lighter movies, such as Bul-
lets Over Broadway (1994),
which earned him an Academy
Award nomination for Best Di-
rector. The comedy Mighty
Aphrodite (1995), in which the
Greek and Roman tragedies
play a large role, won an Acad-
emy Award for Mira Sorvino. Al-
len’s 1999 jazz mockumentary
Sweet and Lowdown was also
nominated for two Academy
Awards for Sean Penn (Best Ac-
tor) and Samantha Morton (Best
Supporting Actress). In contrast
to these lighter movies, Allen
veered 20 scathingly 21 dark and
satirical towards the end of the
1990s with Deconstructing Har-
ry (1997) and Celebrity (1998).
2000s
Small Time Crooks (2000)
was his first film with Dream-
Works SKG studio and repre-
sented a change in direction:
Allen began giving more inter-
views and made an apparent
return to his strictly comedy
roots. Small Time Crooks was a
relative success, grossing over
$17 million domestically, but Al-
len’s next 4 films foundered at
the box office, including Allen’s
most expensive film to date,
The Curse of the Jade Scorpion
(with a budget of $33 million).
Hollywood Ending, Anything
Else, and Melinda and Melinda
were given “rotten” ratings from
film-review website Rotten To-
matoes and each earned less
than $5 million domestically.
Most critics agreed that Allen’s
films since 1999’s Sweet and
Lowdown were subpar, and
some critics expressed concern
that Allen’s best years were
now behind him.
Match Point (2005) was one
of Allen’s most successful
films in the past ten years and
generally received very posi-
tive reviews. Set in London, it
starred Jonathan Rhys-Meyers
17
to presage [`presIG]
18
idiosyncratic ["IdIqsIN`krxtIk]
19
to acclaim [q`kleIm]
20
to veer [vIq] изменять, менять (мнение, взгляды и т. п.)
21
scathing [`skeIDIN]
22
avaricious ["xvq`rISqs] алчный; жадный, скупой
23
nettle [netl]
24
alleged [q`leG(q)d]
25
custody [`kAstqdI]
26
inconclusive ["Inkqn`klHzIv]
27
to indict [In`daIt]
28
fortuitous [fL`tjHItqs]
39
to bow out [bau] прекращать участие (в чём-л.),
30
scrutiny [`skrHtInI]
www.english4u.com.ua
and Scarlett Johansson. It is
also markedly darker than Al-
len’s first four films under the
DreamWorks SKG banner.
Match Point earned more than
$23 million domestically (more
than any of his films in nearly
20 years) and earned over $62
million in international box of-
fice. Match Point earned Al-
len his first Academy Award
nomination since 1998 for Best
Writing, Original Screenplay
and directing and writing nomi-
nations at the Golden Globes,
his first Globe nominations
since 1987. In an interview
with Premiere Magazine, Allen
stated this was the best film he
has ever made.
Allen returned to London to film
Scoop, which also starred Jo-
hansson, as well as Hugh Jack-
man. The film received mixed
reviews. He has also filmed
Cassandra’s Dream in London
starring Colin Farrell, Ewan Mc-
Gregor, and Tom Wilkinson and
it is expected to be released in
November 2007.
After finishing his third Lon-
don film, Allen headed to Spain.
He reached an agreement to
film his current project in Bar-
celona, where shooting started
on July 9th 2007. The movie will
star international and Spanish
actors and actresses, includ-
ing Scarlett Johansson, Javier
Bardem, Patricia Clarkson, and
Penélope Cruz.
Allen has said that he “sur-
vives” on the European market.
Audiences there have tended
to be more receptive to Allen’s
films, particularly France, a
country where he has a large
fan base. “In the United States
things have changed a lot, and
it’s hard to make good small
films now,” Allen said in a 2004
interview. “The avaricious 22
studios couldn’t care less about
good films - if they get a good
film they’re twice as happy, but
money-making films are their
goal. They only want these
$100 million pictures that make
$500 million”.
предрекать, предсказывать
отличительный, характерный, уникальный
громко аплодировать; шумно приветствовать
едкий, язвительный
крапива
утверждаемый (обычно голословно); Shortly after separating from Farrow in 1992, Allen openly contin-
предполагаемый
опека; опекунство; попечение
неубедительный
предъявлять официальное обвинение
случайный, неожиданный
выйти из игры, уступить позиции
внимательный осмотр; исследование, Sidney Bechet and Manzie Johnson.
наблюдение
Relationships
Harlene Rosen
At age 19, Allen married 16-year-old Harlene Rosen. The mar-
riage lasted five “nettling23, unsettling years.”
Louise Lasser
Allen later married Louise Lasser in 1966. Lasser would go on
to co-star with Allen in Take the Money and Run, in what began
a pattern of romantic involvement with his leading ladies. Allen
and Lasser divorced in 1969 and Allen did not marry again until
1997. Lasser starred in three Allen films after the divorce, Ba-
nanas, Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (But
Were Afraid to Ask), as well as a brief appearance in Stardust
Memories. Allen is alleged24 to have loosely based aspects of
the “Harriet Harman” character from Husbands and Wives (the
“kamikaze woman”) on his relationship with Lasser.
Diane Keaton
In 1970, Allen cast Diane Keaton in his Broadway play Play It
Again, Sam, which had a successful run. During this time she be-
came romantically involved with Allen and appeared in a number
of his films. They never married, but Allen says that she was the
love of his life. She has not worked with Allen since Manhattan
Murder Mystery, although they are good friends.
Stacey Nelkin
The film Manhattan is said to have based on his romantic re-
lationship with Nelkin. Her bit part in Annie Hall ended up on the
cutting room floor, and their relationship, though never publicly ac-
knowledged by Allen, reportedly began when she was seventeen
years old and a student at New York’s Stuyvesant High School.
Mia Farrow
Starting around 1980, Allen began a 12-year relationship with
actress Mia Farrow, who had leading roles in several of his mov-
ies from 1982 to 1992. Farrow and Allen never married, but they
adopted two children together: Dylan Farrow (who changed her
name to Eliza and is now known as Malone) and Moses Farrow
(now known as Misha); and had one biological child, Satchel Far-
row (now known as Ronan Seamus Farrow). Allen did not adopt
any of Farrow’s other biological and adopted children, includ-
ing Soon-Yi Farrow Previn (the adopted daughter of Farrow and
Andre Previn). Allen and Farrow separated in 1992 after Farrow
discovered nude photographs Allen had taken of Previn. In her
autobiography, What Falls Away (New York: Doubleday, 1997),
Farrow says Allen admitted to a relationship with Previn.
After Allen and Farrow separated, a long public legal battle for
the custody25 of their three children began. During the proceed-
ings, Farrow alleged that Allen had sexually molested their adopt-
ed daughter Malone, who was then seven years old. The judge
eventually concluded that the sex abuse charges were incon-
clusive26, but called Allen’s conduct with Soon-Yi “inappropriate.”
The case never went to trial and Allen was never indicted27.
Farrow ultimately won the custody battle over their children. Al-
len was denied visitation rights with Malone and could only see
Ronan under supervision. Misha, who was then 14, chose not to
see his father.
In a 2005 Vanity Fair interview, Allen estimated that, despite the
scandal’s damage to his reputation, Farrow’s discovery of Allen’s at-
traction to Soon-Yi Previn, by accidentally finding nude photographs
of her, was “just one of the fortuitous28 events, one of the great piec-
es of luck in my life. [...] It was a turning point for the better.”
Of his relationship with Farrow, he said “I’m sure there are things
that I might have done differently. [...] Probably in retrospect I should
have bowed out29 of that relationship much earlier than I did.”
Soon-Yi Previn
ued his relationship with Soon-Yi Previn, Farrow’s adopted daughter.
Even though Allen and Previn denied he was ever her stepfather,
the relationship drew much public and media scrutiny30. At the time,
Allen was 57 and Previn was 22.
Allen and Previn married in 1997. The couple later adopted two
daughters, naming them Bechet and Manzie after jazz musicians

 difficult

ut what, in fact, is a
B Ninja? Aside from the
alleged 9 ‘art of con-
cealment 10’ mentioned
in the James Bond
film, You Only Live
Twice, the martial arts 11 skills
and pizza-scarfing 12 exploits
of those damned turtles or the
balaclava 13-wearing (and thus
faceless) villains of the martial
arts scene, what is there to un-
derstanding this enigmatic and
compelling group?

Historical and Legen-

dary Origins of Ninjutsu14
The Roots of Ninjutsu
Probably around 500-700AD,
Nonuse was developed in Ja-
pan. Translated as ‘the art of
stealth 15’, Nonuse was first
practised in mystic form as a
system of enlightenment and
self-improvement. Most sources

Ninja
The word ‘Ninja 1 ’ tends to conjure up 2 images either of black-clad 3 assassins 4 , mov- arts, while Ninpo is a term used
ing silently through the night to bring pointy death to their unsuspecting victims, or of an- for their philosophy.
thropomorphic 5 turtles beating the tar out of 6 confused villains 7 , who can’t tell a reptile
from an amphibian. Leaving the latter aside for a moment, the former image is perhaps the The Rise of the Ninja
most common, having been spread in a slew 8 of movies, cartoons, comics, and computer It was with the rise of the mil-
games, especially in the late 1980s and early ‘90s. itary class in the Heian period
(794-1185) that the true Ninja
consider the Nonuse of this pe- would have of necessity been a perception of the Ninja. first began to appear. Follow-
riod to have been a strictly non- furtive16 affair, since the com- The word Ninja only came ing the Taika reforms in the
violent movement. mon folk lacked the training and into use later, and is based on preceding Nara period (710-
The lives of the Japanese equipment of their enemies. As the root nin, which is trans- 794) a radical restructuring
peasantry were probably never a part of such resistance, prac- lated variously as ‘persever- of Japanese government and
all that pleasant, but over time titioners of Nonuse began to use ance 17’, ‘stealth’, or ‘patience’, administration, which included
the imbalance of power between their spiritual training to more depending on context; and the the purchase and redistribution
lord and vassal grew, and the practical ends. For some, in par- Japanese kanji (ideographic of all land by the state - high
feudal aristocracy became more ticular the modern schools of re- character 18) is also transliter- taxation forced many farmers
and more oppressive. Peasant constructed Ninjutsu, this Robin ated ‘shinobi’. Ninjutsu was to sell their land and become
resistance to such oppression Hood-type image is the one true the collective term for the Ninja tenants 19 to wealthier landown-
fighting arts, the equivalent of ers. These landowners then
the Samurai Kenjutsu or sword began to hire Samurai* to pro-
Legends, Rumours and Propaganda
The Wow Factor ing that most martial arts are about the careful application of forces, it
The ‘wow factor’ is something inherent33 in any esoteric study, does not stop it from being amazing that someone like Bruce Lee could
such as the martial arts, that involve dramatic displays inexpli- punch a man from a distance of just one inch and send him flying over
cable34 to the uninitiated35. This is best summed up by Arthur C six feet backwards. It is incredible, and with no understanding of its
Clarke’s famous statement, known as Clarke’s Law, that says that principles, it seems almost magical.
any sufficiently advanced technology would be indistinguishable Ninjustu had - and has - a similar effect, although in the case of the
from magic. To a man who has never seen a television, it might Ninja the ‘wow factor’ it is almost as much about what is not seen as
seem magical; but to us it is mundane36, because we know roughly what is seen. For example, a Samurai fortress37 might be seen as in-
how it works, and because we are used to it. Likewise what to David vulnerable38 to attack, because of the strength and height of its walls,
Copperfield is a clever tri ck is to his audience an act of magic, or at the skill and numbers of its defenders and so on. And to a Samurai,
least of spectacular illusion. It is also worth mentioning that the vast such a fortress would be impregnable39, because the only way that
majority of people don’t know how most of their toys and gadgets they could conceive of taking it would be to assault40 it with their own
work. Their faith in technology is rather closer to a belief that they armies. Thus, if a Ninja or group of Ninja were to enter the fortress by
work ‘by magic’ than most of them might be comfortable with. stealth and kill the lord who commanded it, or destroy the defenders by
The martial arts possess a similar ‘wow factor’, in that they can poisoning their water supply, this might seem incredible, even miracu-
seem to allow people to do seemingly impossible things such as lous to the Samurai.
break thick wooden planks or even bricks with their bare hands. In
fact, such things are quite simple; during a demonstration of karate, Reputation and Reality
the American television talk show host Jerry Springer was taught to Sherlock Holmes said that if you eliminate41 the impossible then
punch through a plank in less than a minute. However, even know- whatever remains, however improbable42, must be the truth. Such is the


 difficult

tect their property, enforce their
rule, and increase their power,
while the lot of the peasantry
grew ever worse.
This is the time of the Ninja, as
perceived by the modern west-
ern mind, in as much as such
a creature ever existed. From
their peasant resistance roots,
the Ninja at some stage became
organised into families. Ninja
lore20 insists that the members
of these families trained in all
manner of martial arts and sur-
vival skills from childhood; but,
although this may be an exag-
geration21, what seems certain
is that they became an effective
counterculture to the Samurai
families, who ruled the feudal
system, employing their ‘art of
stealth’ along with effective gue-
rilla22 tactics to combat the bet-
ter equipped adversary 23.
These methods were con-
sidered cowardly by the Samu-
rai, as they flew in the face of
the Bushido (warrior code),
by which the Samurai lived,
fought, and died. This accu-
sation of cowardice, however,
is one levelled against almost
every guerilla fighting force
ever created, including Ameri-
can skirmishers 24 in the War
of Independence. For the Nin-
ja, as for all these others, such
accusations were as water off
a duck’s back when the alter-
native was having to confront
a superior enemy face to face.
Even if the Ninja did train from
childhood, so too did the Samu-
rai, whose place in society was
not only predestined by birth,
but supported by the entire
feudal system. The Samurai of
the Heian period were, if not so
mighty as reported in later leg-
end, certainly the finest warri-
ors Japan had to offer. For the
Ninja, a stand-up fight would
have meant slaughter 25.
This is also the period of his-
tory in which the employment of
Ninja as spies, informants, and
assassins is first recorded, not
merely as a form of resistance
against the ruling elite, but also
as their agents in inter-clan dis-
putes and warfare. Some claim
that this is propaganda, that
the official histories go to great
lengths to make the Ninja out to
be mercenary killers rather than
noble peasant heroes. The re-
constructed school also blames
‘renegade’ Ninja for bringing
the art into disrepute26 by sell-
ing their skills in this way. It is
generally accepted however,
even by Ninja apologists, that
the Ninja clans of this period be-
came involved in power politics;
and that they did on occasion
side with one or another of the
various Samurai clans.
The Fall of the Ninja
The Ninja arose with the
Samurai, but it would seem that
they rose too high. Pro-Ninja ac-
counts tell that the Ninja families
attained a power as great as the
Samurai; but, as the Ninja clans
gained in political power, they
were increasingly perceived
as being more dangerous than
they were useful. Modern Ninja
lore tells that in the 17th Cen-
tury the Ninja were all but an-
nihilated 27 by their frightened
rivals 28 at great cost, the few
survivors going underground to
keep their arts alive in secret,
as countercultures and secret
societies are wont 29 to do. A
European comparison could be
drawn to The Templars 30.
Following the Meiji Restora-
tion of 1868, the privileges of the
Samurai class were extended to
all Japanese and the carrying of
swords was outlawed, effective-
ly marking the end of the military
class as a body distinct from the
rest of the nation. With the real- ready ill-recorded in contempo-
ity a thing of the past, the Meiji rary, official (Samurai) histories,
period saw the emergence of became further marginalised, as
the romanticized version of the all things Samurai - and espe-
Samurai. As in Europe, the Age cially Bushido - became admira-
of Chivalry 31 occurred some ble. Many histories are said to
time after the armoured knight 32 refer to Ninja as Samurai when-
had ceased to be the ultimate ever they have achieved some-
form of warrior. The Ninja, al- thing good.
1
ninja [`nInGq] ниндзя
2
to conjure up [`kAnGq] вызывать в воображении
3
black-clad [klxd] одетый в черное
4
assassin [q`sxsIn] убийца, террорист
5
anthropomorphic ["xn(t)Trq (u)pq`mLfIk] человекоподобный
6
to beat the tar out of smb. збить кого-л. до полусмерти, исколотить
7
villain [`vIlqn] злодей, негодяй
8
slew [slH] большое количество, множество
9
alleged [q`leG(q)d] утверждаемый (обычно голословно)
10
concealment [kqn`sJlmqnt] маскировка
11
martial art [`mRS(q)l] боевое искусство
12
to scarf [skRf] жадно есть, лопать, уплетать
13
balaclava ["bxlq`klRvq] вязаный шлем (закрывает голову, шею и плечи;
его носят солдаты, альпинисты, лыжники )
14
ninjitsu [nIn`GIt`sH] ниндзюцу (боевое искусство ниндзя)
15
stealth [stelT] хитрость, уловка
16
furtive [`fWtIv] скрытый, тайный; незаметный
17
perseverance ["pWsI`vIqr(q)n(t)s] настойчивость, упорство
18
ideographic character идеограмма, значок, символ (письменный знак,
условно изображающий понятие)
19
tenant [`tenqnt] арендатор, съёмщик; временный владелец
20
lore [lL] традиционные знания
21
exaggeration [Ig"zxGq`reIS(q)n] гиперболизация, преувеличение
22
guerilla [gq`rIlq] партизанская война; партизан
23
adversary [`xdvqs(q)rI] враг, противник, оппонент
24
skirmisher [`skWmISq] стрелок в цепи
25
slaughter [`slLtq] (массовое) убийство, резня; избиение
26
disrepute ["dIsrI`pjHt] дурная слава, сомнительная репутация
27
to annihilate [q`naIqleIt] истреблять; отменять; аннулировать
28
rival [`raIv(q)l] соперник; конкурент ; противник
29
wont [wqunt] имеющий обыкновение
30
Templar [`templR] тамплиер
31
chivalry [`SIv(q)lrI] рыцарство
32
knight [naIt] рыцарь
33
inherent [In`her(q)nt] обязательно присущий, неотъемлемый
34
inexplicable ["InIk`splIkqbl] необъяснимый; неизъяснимый, непостижимый
35
uninitiated ["AnI`nISIeItId] непосвящённый
36
mundane [mAn`deIn] обычный, приземлённый
37
fortress [`fLtrqs] крепость
38
invulnerable [In`vAln(q)rqbl] неуязвимый
39
impregnable [Im`pregnqbl] неприступный
40
to assault [q`sLlt] атаковать, штурмовать, идти на приступ
41
to eliminate [I`lImIneIt] устранять, исключать
42
improbable [Im`prObqbl] невероятный, немыслимый, неправдоподобный
43
to abound [q`baund] иметься в большом числе
44
to disabuse ["dIsq`bjHz] выводить из заблуждения;
45
to dissuade [dI`sweId] отговаривать, разубеждать
46
to tackle [txkl] схватить, поймать (вора, животное)
47
double-edged sword ["dAbl`eGd `sLd] обоюдоострый меч
* Although the ruling class
of Japan for many centuries,
the word Samurai translates
roughly as ‘those who serve’.

human condition however, that the mind will tend to swiftly
eliminate the improbable and complicated, leaving noth-
ing but the impossible yet elegant under consideration.
Consequently, if you knew that the walls were guarded,
the windows closed, the doors locked to start with, and
find them so again, yet with evidence that someone has
entered the building, the simple mental trap is to eliminate
the possibility of someone having crossed the wall, or en-
tered by the door or window without breaking it.
If a Ninja has stolen something from within your
guarded chambers, then the Ninja must be able to be-
come invisible. Or perhaps he can pass through walls,
or fly, or he simply spirited the item away by his magic.
If your son drops dead from no apparent cause, despite
your best efforts to protect him, then it must be an evil
spell. If your enemies know your plans they must have
access to some powerful magic. The idea that perhaps
the Ninja simply outwitted your guards, or bribed them,
or put poison in your son’s food, or was listening, un-
observed, to your planning sessions, might not occur to
you, being outside your experience.
Such stories about the Ninja abound43 in the
Samurai histories, and it is unlikely that the Ninja
would have done anything to disabuse44 outsiders of
any misconception. Quite aside from the fact that Nin-
po contained a potent, mystical element which might
well have considered the skills of Ninjutsu to be in part
magical, a counterculture unable to survive a direct
conflict with their opposite numbers could only ben-
efit from a fearsome reputation. If a single Ninja was
seen to be able to slay a hundred enemies, kill a man
with a touch or a breath, leap nine feet straight up, be-
come invisible, walk through walls and across water,
and cut a Samurai down with his sword at a hundred
paces, it would certainly dissuade45 their enemies
from trying to tackle46 a whole family of them.
Of course, such exaggerated tales might also have
contributed to the Ninja’s downfall, as fear of their
skills became too great to allow them to live. Repu-
tations are double-edged swords47 after all.

www.english4u.com.ua 
 Right
Handedness

ight-handedness is the tendency to use the right hand раворукость – это склонность пользоваться правой
R for everyday activities such as writing. It is very com- Ï
рукой в повседневной жизни, например при пись-
mon, with about nine out of every ten people being ме. Это очень распространенное явление – девять
right-handed. Many people write with their right hand, из десяти людей правши. Многие люди пишут пра-
including left-handers who have been forced to use вой рукой, включая левшей, переученных пользо-
their right hand. ваться правой рукой.
Unlike left-handers, there has been no cultural pressure for В отличие от левшей, общество не оказывало такое дав-
right-handers to use their ‘wrong’ hand for activities such as ление на правшей, заставляя пользоваться ‘неправильной’
writing and eating. Right-handedness is usually considered рукой при письме и еде. Обычно праворукость считается
good and normal, hence the expression of someone’s ‘right- хорошим и нормальным явлением, отсюда и выражение
hand man.’ There are many similar, although negative, expres- ‘чья-то правая рука’. В отношении же левой руки существует
sions using the left hand. много похожих, но негативных высказываний.
The word ‘right’ has positive connotations, which ‘left’ У слова ‘правый’ положительное значение, а у слова ‘ле-
does not. In English, ‘right’ also means correct, and ‘a right’ вый’ – нет. В английском языке ‘правый’ также означает пра-
is something that you are entitled to. In French droit also вильный, а слово ‘право’ означает то, на что вы имеете все
means something you are entitled to, as well as right 1 . The основания. Во французском языке droit также означает то,
word ‘dextrous’ comes from the Latin word dexter meaning на что вы имеете право, а также правую сторону 1. Слово
right. The roots of ‘left’ are as sinister as the roots of ‘right’ ‘dextrous’ происходит от латинского слова dexter и означает
are positive. ‘правый’. Корни слова ‘левый’ настолько зловещи, насколь-
Most right-handers are left brain hemisphere-dominant. It is ко корни слова ‘правый’ положительны.
thought that a few hook-wrist- У большинства правшей
ed 2 right-handers are right- A WORD OF WISDOM доминирует левое полуша-
hemisphere dominant, but no- рие. Но предполагается, что
body knows for sure whether You can’t teach an old dog new tricks у некоторых правшей, кото-
this is true or not. рые загибают запястье при
Most equipment nowadays is designed for right-hand- письме 2, доминирует правое полушарие, но правда ли это
ers, and is comfortable for the right-hander to use. The никто не знает наверняка.
traditional European way of holding a knife and fork, В наши дни оборудование в основном создается под прав-
with the fork in the left and the knife in the right, is шей и подходит именно для их пользования. Традиционный
more comfortable for right-handers. English (and most европейский способ держать вилку в левой руке, а нож в
other European writing) goes from left to right, so right- правой, более удобен правшам. В английском (и в боль-
handers can usually write without having smudging as a шинстве европейских языков) текст пишется слева направо,
problem 3 . поэтому у правшей обычно нет проблем с чистописанием3.
Most right-handers will be taught how to form letters by other Большинство правшей учатся писать буквы у других
right-handers, making it easy for them to see which way the правшей, и им легко видеть, в какую сторону писать. У
letters go. Left-handers often have trouble and end up forming левшей всегда с этим сложности, и, в конце концов, они
letters backwards. пишут буквы задом на перед.
Probably one advantage left-handers have over right-handers Возможно, преимуществом левшей является внимание,
is the attention they receive. No-one makes a fuss over a right- которое они получают. Никто не создает ажиотаж вокруг
hander, as right-handedness is common and ordinary. правшей, поскольку праворукость – это обычно и банально.

1
The opposite of left. 1
Противоположно слову «левый».
2
Hook-wristed people write with their wrist hooked around over what they 2
Люди, которые загибают при письме запястья вокруг того, что они пишут.
write. They are normally left-handers, who write that way to avoid smudging. Обычно это левши, которые так пишут, чтобы не смазывать написанное.
3
Unless they write messily with inky pens. 3
Если только они не пишут неряшливо чернильными ручками.

10
 medium
rigin of the term
O The abbreviation lunch,
in use from 1823, is
taken form the more
formal “luncheon”, which
the OED reports from
1580, as a word for a meal that
was inserted 1 between more
substantial 2 meals.
In medieval 3 England, there
are references to nuncheon, a
non hench according to OED, a
noon draught4 — of ale 5, with
bread — an extra meal between
midday dinner and supper, es-
pecially during the long hours
of hard labour during haying6
or early harvesting 7. In London,
by the 1730s and 40s, the up-
Lunch
During the eighteenth century what was originally called “dinner” — a word still sometimes used to mean a noon-
time meal in the British Isles, and in parts of the United States, Canada and Australia — was moved by stages later in
the day and came in the course of the nineteenth century to be eaten at night, replacing the light meal called supper,
which was delayed by the upper class to midnight.
per class were rising later and
dining at three or four in the af-
ternoon, and by 1770 their din-
ner hour in London was four or
five (McMillan). A formal evening
meal, artificially lit by candles,
sometimes with entertainment,
was a “supper party” as late as
Regency times.
In the 19th century, male ar-
tisans 8 went home for a brief
dinner, where their wives fed
them, but as the workplace
was removed farther from
the home, working men took
to providing themselves with
something portable to eat at a
break in the schedule during
the middle of the day. In parts
of India a light, portable lunch
is known as tiffin.
Mrs Beeton’s Book of House-
hold Management had much less
to explain about luncheon than
about dinners or ball suppers:
The remains of cold joints9,
nicely garnished10, a few sweets,
or a little hashed11 meat, poultry12
or game13, are the usual articles
placed on the table for luncheon,
with bread and cheese, biscuits,
butter, &c. If a substantial meal is
desired, rump-steaks14 or mut-
ton chops15 may he served, as
also veal cutlets16, kidneys, or
any dish of that kind. In families
where there is a nursery, the
mistress of the house often par-
takes of the meal with the chil-
dren, and makes it her luncheon.
In the summer, a few dishes of
fresh fruit should be added to the
luncheon, or, instead of this, a
compote of fruit or fruit tart17, or
pudding.
— Mrs Beeton’s Book of
Household Management
www.english4u.com.ua
Practices
Lunch food varies. In some places, one eats similar things both
at lunch and at supper - a hot meal, sometimes with more than one
course. In other places, lunch is the main meal of the day, supper
being a smaller cold meal.
Many people eat lunch while at work or school. Employers and
schools usually provide a lunch break in the middle of the day, last-
ing as much as an hour. Some workplaces and schools provide caf-
eterias, often called canteens, where one can get a hot meal (in Brit-
ish schools female staff who serve lunch are often known as “dinner
ladies”, but never “lunch ladies”). In some work locations one can
easily go out to eat at a nearby restaurant. Where these conveniences are not available it may be
impractical to make lunch the main meal of the day. In these cases relatively simple foods might
be packed in a container, such as a bag or a lunchbox, and taken to work or school. The quintes-
sential bag lunch in North America of the past has consisted of a sandwich and often a whole fruit
and either cookies or a candy bar. But now, the near-universal spread of the microwave oven to
the workplace since the 1980s has changed the nature of workers’ lunches considerably. Left-
overs from home-cooked meals, frozen foods, and a huge variety of prepared foods needing only
reheating are now more common than the sandwich lunch.
Purpose
In addition to its primary purpose, lunch can function as a form of enter-
tainment, especially on weekends; a particularly fancy or formal lunch can
be called a luncheon. Such lunches can be served at a restaurant, as a
buffet or potluck*, or as a sit-down feast. These events are very similar to
festive suppers. Lunch, both simple and fancy, often includes dessert.
Many nutritionists suggest that it is more appropriate to eat a large meal
at lunch than it is to do so at supper, just before going to sleep, when the
energy from the meal will not be properly used. An example of this style of
meal can be found in the German, Brazilian and Scandinavian diet, whose
lunch mostly is large and cooked (as opposed to, say, a sandwich).
* potluck - всё, что имеется на обед; potluck dinner / supper — совместный обед /
ужин, на который гости приходят со своим угощением
1
to insert [In`sWt] вставлять 9
joint [GOInt] мясной отруб
2
substantial [sqb`stxn(t)S(q)l] питательный (о пище), 10
to garnish [`gRnIS] гарнировать (блюдо)
достаточный (по количеству) 11
to hash [hxS] мелко рубить, резать(мясо)
3
medieval ["medI`Jv(q)l] средневековый, относящийся 12
poultry [`pqultrI] домашняя птица
к Средневековью 13
game [geIm] дичь, зверь, добытый на охоте
4
draught [drRft] глоток 14
rump steak ["rAmp`steIk] ромштекс
5
ale [eIl] пиво, эль 15
mutton chop [`mAt(q)nCOp] баранье рёбрышко
6
haying [`heIIN] сенокос, сенозаготовка 16
veal cutlets [`vJlkAtlqt] телячьи котлеты
7
harvesting [`hRvIstIN] уборка урожая 17
tart [tRt] пирог (с фруктами, ягодами
8
artisan ["RtI`zxn] мастеровой, ремесленник или вареньем)
11

hey’re on your skin, in
T your gut and under your
nails. The vegetables
in your garden cohabit
peacefully with them.
They dwell in the in-
testines1 of cows, exchanging
the ability to digest cellulose for
sanctuary2 from the cruel out-
doors. In the air, on the land, even
in the harshest, most extreme
parts of the world where angels
fear to tread, they make up more
than two-thirds of the world’s bio-
mass - and yet people are gener-
ally ignorant of their existence or,
at best, have thoroughly warped3
notions of the role they play in the
big drama of life.
We are, of course, talking
about micro-organisms.
What Are Micro-organisms?
To put things loosely, they
are living creatures that are
MICROBEs -
the Good They Do
too small to be seen by the
naked eye. The term ‘micro-
organism’ covers two groups
of creatures:
• Prokaryotes - organisms
with no nuclei4 in their cells,
which resemble ancestral mi-
crobes that crawled out of the
primordial5 soup. This group
includes bacteria and blue-
green algae (cyanobacteria).
The latter were in abundance
early in the history of the Earth,
covering most of its surface
with brightly coloured patches6
of purple, green, blue and red.
• Eukaryotic micro-organ-
isms - microscopic organisms
with ‘true’ nucleated cells, such
as protoctists, algae and fun-
gi. Humans, cows, plants and
every other living creature you
can see are also eukaryotes,
only they are macroscopic.
The role micro-organisms
play in the environment is enor-
mous - indeed, the world could
not possibly last long in the ab-
sence of micro-organisms. It
is these creatures that are re-
sponsible for clearing away the
debris7 on the stage of life to
make way for new sets and new
props8, for generating and recy-
cling most of the chemicals that
would otherwise be lost to the
ecosystem through biological
12
processes, even for promoting
the evolution that is so crucial
to life. It is highly unfortunate,
therefore, that the primary and
secondary education systems
have all but neglected them in
favour of the macroscopic mi-
nority - the plants and animals
that are more easily seen by
the casual observer.
But micro-organisms have
been here for millions of years,
before the first multicellular crea-
ture crawled out of the primordial
soup, and will probably be here
long after all other life has been
exhausted or extinguished9. It
is therefore time to put the impor-
tance of micro-organisms back
into perspective, and to acknowl-
edge them for their positive con-
tribution towards the continuity of
this thing we call life.
Microbes and Planet Earth
Long before dinosaurs ruled
the world and man came forth
and built his concrete jungles
and satellites, back in a time
where the Earth was still burn-
ing off the heat of its creation
and geysers and volcanoes
gushed10 aplenty, there were
microbes. These were the de-
scendants of the simple rep-
licating machines that rose
out of the rich primordial soup
that covered most of the Earth
- strings of DNA11 or RNA12 in
small protective sheaths13 and
had ‘discovered’ how to make
copies of themselves out of
the raw material from which
they themselves were made.
Centuries after Charles Dar-
win put forth his theory of evo-
lution in On The Origin of Spe-
cies, many people still reject
outright the notion that we,
superior beings of this world,
have ancestors as humble - as
lowly - as the tiny, blind, one-
celled creatures who teemed
in the organic soup more than
three billion years ago. In
many cases it may be that we
difficult
cannot imagine being related
to the microscopic lifeforms of
today, who lie ignored except
where they can be blamed for
everything from disease to de-
struction.
Yet the fact remains that
many of the structures in the
cells of multicellular entities 14
were, many millions of years
ago, independent life-forms
that had been engulfed 15 by
bigger primordial cells but
somehow managed to make
a living with them instead of
getting eaten. Later, these pri-
mordial cells came together by
accident and, where there was
mutual benefit, formed per-
manent unions. Specialisation
evolved 16 over time as differ-
ent cells came together, with
tasks divided between them.
Eventually, they formed multi-
cellular organisms, which grew
steadily more complex as they
adapted to their environment,
differentiating and evolving
into what we all are today.
Microbes and the Con-
sumer Market
Mankind had learned to har-
ness 17 the power of microbes
in the production of food long
before Anton van Leeuwen-
hoek gazed into his first crude
microscope. The relationship
between brewers 18 and yeast 19
began over 6,000 years ago in
Mesopotamia. Around 4,000
 difficult
years later, people discov-
ered fermented 20 curds 21 in
their milk pouches 22, and the
cheese industry was born.
Rome had a booming cheese
industry, as did European ab-
beys 23 later, most of which had
their own secret recipes.
Today, micro-organisms are
found at the heart of industry.
The versatile baker’s yeast is
not only used in breadmaking,
but also in the production of
alcoholic drinks. Lactobacil-
lus acidophilus is a common
name in the household - who
has not heard of it, as its name
appears in practically every
yoghurt commercial? Swiss
cheese would not be Swiss
cheese without the ferment-
ing bacterium Propionibacte-
rium, nor would blue cheese
and Roquefort have their pun-
gent 24 smell and sharp taste
without Penicillium, a cousin of
the famous penicillin mould 25.
Vitamins, used as supple-
ments for human food and ani-
mal feeds, are also produced
commercially using a host 26 of
bacteria, yeasts and fungi. Im-
portant food flavourings, such
as monosodium glutamate
(MSG) and the artificial sweet-
ener aspartame, rely heavily
on the fermentation processes
of microbes such as brevibac-
teria. We would never have
had vinegar for our salads if
not for our famous baker’s
yeast and a host of anaerobic
bacteria fermenting carbohy-
drates to acid. One microbe’s
waste is another man’s food.
In the medical industry, ge-
netically-modified bacteria are
engineered to carry the gene
for insulin, and to produce in-
sulin in bulk for people with
insulin-dependent diabetes.
The manufacture of otherwise
ludicrously expensive steroids
for treating autoimmune dis-
ease, alleviate 27 allergies and
treate skin diseases depends
heavily on micro-organisms to
transform chemical molecules.
Consider the steroid cortisone,
which is used to treat rheuma-
toid arthritis. This steroid can
be produced by non-biological
means in the laboratory, con-
verting deoxycholic acid from
bile 28 by submitting the start-
ing material to no less than 37
different chemical reactions to
produce the steroid. This in-
credibly tedious procedure had
a pathetic yield of 0.15%. The
alternative - extracting about
www.english4u.com.ua
100mg of the steroid from ap-
proximately 6,000 head of cat-
tle - brought the price of the
drug to about $200 per gram in
the 1940s. Compare this with
the production using the mould
Rhizopus arrhizus, which re-
quires only six steps to com-
pletion, and which brought the
price of cortisone down to $6
per gram in the late 1940s,
and to $0.46 by 1980.
Enzymes are catalysts of
most chemical and biochemi-
cal reactions. Synthesized
enzymes would be too costly
and impractical in the long run;
micro-organism-produced en-
zymes are used instead, being
far more useful because they
are a great deal more discrimi-
nating than chemical catalysts.
Microbial enzymes are added
to detergents to enhance their
power as stain-removers and
colour restorers. Others are
sold commercially and used to
ripen fruit for sale. Be it in the
textile or food industry, micro-
bial enzymes are the key. And
after all, where would the cola
industry be if not for these mi-
crobes?
But micro-organisms are not
important in industry only as
producers and bioconverters.
The latest food fads 29 have
introduced a whole variety of
algae and fungi as food. Visit
any supermarket and you are
likely to come across cereal
drinks fortified with Spirulina
and Chlorella. Some armies,
being the thoroughly resource-
ful forces that they are, feed
Torula utilis to their soldiers
in bulk 30. These single-celled
protein foods may look unap-
pealing, but many are nutri-
tious and they are a very good
source of protein.
And of course, most of us
- and not just hobbits - love
mushrooms. It may surprise
some that the unmistakably
visible mushrooms are classi-
fied under the heading ‘micro-
organisms’. This is because
mushrooms are actually groups
of filamentous fungi that form
prominent, complex structures
called fruiting bodies, which
are largely responsible for the
fungi’s reproduction.
Microbes and the Magic
Bullet
Any decent microbiologist
will tell you that fungus on a
bacteria culture plate spells
nothing short of disaster. There
What Are Microbes?
A microbe is anything too small to be visible to the
naked eye. Two types of microbes are bacteria and vi-
ruses. You’re surrounded by microbes all the time, and
normally co-exist peacefully. Some types help you, like
the bacteria in your digestive tract that help break down
food. There are, however, some types of bacterium and
viruses that can make you ill.
Bacteria are single-celled organisms. There are
thousands of types of bacteria, and they live virtually
anywhere. Bacteria are much bigger than viruses. (But
they’re all way too small for you to see.) Bacteria are
much more complex than viruses. Bacteria have the
tools to reproduce themselves, by themselves. They are
filled with fluid, and may have threadlike structures to
move themselves, like a tail.
Virus. A virus may have a spiny outside layer, called
the envelope. Viruses have a core of genetic material,
but no way to reproduce it on their own. Viruses cannot
reproduce on their own. They infect cells and take over
their reproductive machinery to reproduce.
1
intestines [In`testInz] кишечник
2
sanctuary [`sxN(k)CuqrI] убежище
3
warped [wLpt] искажённый; извращённый (об информации и т. п.)
4
nuclei (pl. from nucleus) ядро; центр
5
primordial [praI`mLdIql] изначальный; первобытный
6
patch [pxC] клочок; участок тела или органа, выделяющийся своим цветом
7
debris [`deIbrJ] мусор; обломки
8
props [prOps] реквизит
9
to extinguish [ek`stINgwIS] погасить, уничтожить
10
to gush [gAS] прорываться; извергаться
11
DNA = deoxyribonucleic acid ДНК, дезоксирибонуклеиновая кислота
12
RNA = ribonucleic acid рибонуклеиновая кислота
13
sheath [SJT] оболочка
14
entity [`entItI] существо, организм
15
to engulf [In`gAlf] поглощать, заглатывать; засасывать
16
to evolve [I`vOlv] эволюционировать, развиваться
17
to harness [`hRnIs] запрягать; использовать (в определенных целях)
18
brewer [`brHq] пивовар
19
yeast [jJst] дрожжи
20
to ferment [fW`ment] вызывать брожение
21
curd [kWd] свернувшееся молоко; творог
22
pouch [pauC] сумка; мешочек
23
abbey [`xbI] аббатство; монастырь
24
pungent [`pAnG(q)nt] острый, пикантный; едкий
25
mould [mquld] плесень
26
host [hqust] масса, куча
27
to alleviate [q`lJvIeIt] облегчать (боль, страдания) ; смягчать
28
bile [baIl] желчь
29
fad [fxd] прихоть, причуда; фантазия
30
in bulk [bAlk] оптом; в большом объеме [количестве]
31
dung [dAN] фекалии, экскременты; навоз, помёт
32
swelling [`swelIN] опухоль
33
to impede [Im`pJd] мешать, препятствовать
13
 PICTURES difficult

is no greater nightmare than
finding happy green patches of
mould where colonies of bacte-
ria should be. Alexander Flem-
ing may have felt the same
way in 1928, when he entered
his laboratory and found them
growing on his precious plate
of staphylococci. However, we
should be grateful that he was
calm enough to sit down and
observe them instead of tossing
the plate into the wastebasket
in cold fury - we would never
have had penicillin if he had!
Microbes had long since been
used in the medical field to treat
non-life-threatening conditions.
Medical records from China,
Egypt and Mesopotamia dating
from 1500 BC report the use
of mouldy and fermented sub-
stances from dung31 and soy-
bean curd to treat superficial
troleum formation by microbes happens in nature. Who knows, maybe one day
when the mystery is solved we will have giant oil farms, where the large population
of workers will be mats of blue-green algae.
ter more than 70 years of re- a great deal more rapidly than bly as many cells as there are
search, however, we now have multicellular animals. This atoms in the universe. We are,
an enormous selection of anti- enables researchers to get in a way, made of microbes.
biotics produced by a wide vari- many copies of a gene - or its But what is there to be afraid
ety of micro-organisms ranging products - in a relatively short of? They have been with us
from bacteria to fungi. Many of period of time. This is how we from the moment we were born
these antibiotics have been en- currently get insulin for people - colonising our bodies within
gineered to target a wide range with diabetes - by cloning the the first 30 minutes of birth -
of pathogens, and are many gene manufacturing insulin and they will be there when we
times more potent than their into bacteria, and letting them die, to take us apart into useful
humble ancestor, penicillin. do the dirty job of producing chemicals to be re-circulated in
this chemical for us. Many oth- the environment. And we are
Microbes in Biological Re- er micro-organisms have also not the only ones living with mi-
search been engineered to be more cro-organisms. Every other liv-
There is a relatively new efficient in biotechnology - pro- ing creature on the face of this
technology in the field of ge- ducing greater yields in the an- Earth shares its life with zillions
netics called ‘polymerase tibiotics industry, for instance. of microscopic neighbours.
chain reaction’. It is, in a nut- The study of microbial genet- The role microbes play as
shell, a process of making cop- ics - again, possibly because symbionts of living creatures
ies of pre-existing DNA. The microbial reproduction and is enormous. What once were
original donor of the enzyme multiplication happen so fast micro-organisms have through
that makes this technique pos- - also enables scientists to un- time become integrated into
sible is the humble laboratory derstand gene function, which the cells of multicellular life
pet Escherichia coli, which has is the basis of cell function and forms, becoming the power-
houses 38 of cells. Microbes
in our intestines help produce
Oil from Microbes certain essential vitamins
About the most popular commodity avail- such as vitamin B12. Others
toil 39 in the guts of ruminant
able today is petroleum. Not only is it the reli-
animals 40, thus granting these
able source of energy that fuels most of our creatures the ability to de-
vehicles, petroleum is also used as raw ma- rive 41 nutrition from grass and
terial in the plastics and synthetics industry. other cellulose-containing ma-
Because everybody needs petroleum, coun- terial5. Bacteria such as Agro-
tries that have large oil traps or reserves are bacterium living in the nod-
disgustingly rich. ules 42 of leguminous 43 plants
Scientists are currently studying algae mats at (eg, peas, beans and clover)
convert the otherwise inacces-
the bottom of permanently ice-covered lakes in
sible nitrogen from the air into
Antarctica in an attempt to understand how pe- readily usable forms for plant
growth and construction of
new tissue. Fungi associ-

wounds and swelling32. How- a somewhat tarnished 35 repu-

ever, back then, nobody knew
the real cause of infectious
diseases, and this prevented
the booming of the antibiot-
ics industry. In 1874, English-
man William Roberts observed
that the growth of bacteria was
impeded33 by fungi and vice
versa. Later, Louis Pasteur and
Jules Francois Joubert noticed
that anthrax34 bacilli refused to
grow in the presence of mould.
It wasn’t until after 1928,
however, that penicillin and
antibiosis were ‘discovered’.
Another 12 years or so elapsed
before Howard Florey and his
collaborators successfully
purified penicillin and admin-
istered it to a desperately ill
police constable. This was the
beginning of the drug’s reputa-
tion as the ‘magic bullet’.
Today, penicillin is no longer
as useful as it once was. Af-
tation thanks to its insane mu-
tant cousins, E coli, who have
killed many innocent people
who ate undercooked beef.
Micro-organisms are playing
an increasingly huge role in
biological research. Bacteria
have been engineered to car-
ry genes of other organisms,
some of which are transferred
to the bacteria by specially-
bred viruses. Hybrids are made
by coupling 36 fungi that pos-
sess a certain trait with those
that do not. New combinations
of genes are studied. These
may sound like hideously cruel
things to do to such benign 37
creatures, but it is a necessary
step to a greater understand-
ing of genetics.
What is the use of playing
around with the genetic con-
tent of micro-organisms? For
one thing, microbes multiply
Without microbes life on Earth
would not be possible
the key to understanding why
a great many diseases - such
as cancer - happen. You may
argue that the microbes are
only playing a passive role in
these studies, but if not for
them we would still be in the
‘dark ages’ of medicine.
Microbes as Symbionts of
All Living Things, and Com-
ponents of the Biogeochem-
ical Cycle
We are not alone.
Every inch of every surface
of our body is covered with mi-
cro-organisms. Billions of them
thrive on our skin. Millions are
found elsewhere inside us,
predominantly inside our in-
testines. Everything around us
is similarly coated with proba-
ated with the roots of plants
in relationships called mycor-
rhizae encourage the growth
of plants by increasing absorp-
tion surface, reducing water
stress, gathering nutrients and
making the roots more resist-
ant to infection.
Hosts of micro-organisms
attack freshly dead plants
and animals, reducing their
corpses to elements to be re-
turned to the environment from
which they were born, making
grounds more fertile for growth
and giving other creatures the
necessary ingredients for get-
ting on with life. This is the ba-
sis of composting 44, which har-
nesses the power of microbes
to degrade organic matter into
fertile plant stuff. Micro-organ-

14
 difficult
isms involved in the phosphate
cycle and various other chemi-
cal cycles ensure that the soil
is rich in chemicals for plant
growth. Micro-organisms living
on the surfaces of our bodies
and those of other living things
confer 45 protection by playing
an active role in encouraging
the maturation of our immune
system, and denying disease-
causing microbes the foothold
they need to colonise our bod-
ies and do damage.
In fact, micro-organisms
have become such an impor-
tant part of all our lives that to
remove them would spell im-
minent death for us.
Microbes as Producers
of Oil
Most of us are taught in
school that petroleum is formed
over the course of many million
years deep within the earth’s
crust, where the high temper-
atures and pressure shaped
and altered organic material
into the slick black substance
that is so prized in the world
today. However, most of our
teachers probably never told
us that micro-organisms were
very deeply involved in the
making of oil, or even men-
tioned them in passing.
Among those microbes in-
volved in the formation of oil
are stromatolites, which are
mats of filamentous blue-green
algae. The largest known de-
posits of oil shale 46 in the world
- the Green River Formation in
Colorado-Wyoming, USA - har-
bours an abundance of their
fossil remains, dating back to
about 3,000 million years ago.
These humble micro-organ-
isms supplied the fats that
would over time be converted
into the hydrocarbons compris-
ing crude oil47. Scientists have
established that microbes
were the workforce behind the
production of oil, but are still
unsure of exactly how.
If the exact process of petro-
leum synthesis by microbes is
unknown, the role of microbes
in facilitating recovery of oil is
an established fact. Some mi-
cro-organisms produce carbon
dioxide gas, which propels oils
upwards from otherwise ex-
hausted wells. Xanthan gum
produced by Xanthomonas
campestri is also highly use-
ful in loosening oil that stub-
bornly clings to underground
rock particles.
www.english4u.com.ua
Microbes as Mediators of
Decomposition and Biore-
mediation
Recently, Singapore’s deci-
sion to stop relying on water
supplies from Malaysia and
to recycle their own waste
water 48 has provoked scepti-
cism and derision 49 from the
South-east Asian community.
It is certainly not the first
country to take up the initia-
tive, nor will it be the last. And
despite jokes of finding corn
in Singaporean water, we
must acknowledge the fact
that they are harnessing the
powers of micro-organisms in
bioremediation.
Brock Biology of Microorgan-
isms defines waste waters as:
...materials derived from do-
mestic sewage 50 or industrial
effluents 51...
Most of us just tend to think of
it as, er, ‘excrement cocktail’.
Whatever we may call it,
A WORD OF WISDOM
One enemy is too many and a hun-
dred friends aren’t enough
waste water is a problem. Be-
cause of public health, recrea-
tional, economic and aesthetic
considerations, it is in highly
bad taste to merely dispose52 of
waste water into natural water
systems without first process-
ing them. You do not want your
drinking water to taste of sew-
age. You do not want to get food
poisoning because your water
supply is contaminated53 with
human waste.
This is where microbes come
in, accepting this horrendously
gross cocktail of waste and
breaking down the organic
substances into simple ones,
turning crud54 into water that is
pure enough to be released into
rivers or channelled into tanks
for chlorination before it once
again becomes drinking water.
The complex organic chemicals
are themselves recycled and
returned to the environment in
the form of ammonia, carbon
dioxide and nitrate, and per-
haps a variety of other gases.
What is left of the organic com-
pounds is a solid residue that is
sold off as fertilizer.
The role of micro-organ-
isms as bioremediators was
discovered in the early 1930s
by Marjory Stephenson, a re-
searcher at the University of
Cambridge, who observed
that microbes in a river that
had been contaminated with
effluent from a sugar-beet fac-
tory were digesting enormous
quantities of the waste, mainly
into gases. She later collabo-
rated with LH Stickland to
demonstrate that these gas-
producing bacteria were pro-
ducing an enzyme that some-
how activated hydrogen. It is
now known that this family of
enzymes, called hydrogenas-
es, catalyse a wide range of
processes accompanied by
the evolution or consumption
of hydrogen, and that such
activities are important in re-
cycling organic matter in the
environment. These hydroge-
nase-producing bacteria are
highly valuable scavengers
in the ecosystem because of
their incredible contribution
to bioremediation, breaking
down organic matter to safer
substances.
And then consider the case
of the Arabian Gulf, into which
was poured 500,000 tonnes
of crude oil in 1990. Panick-
ing ecologists and the media
foresaw the mass oblitera-
tion 55 of life forms in the re-
gion. But they were wrong. By
the end of 1992, blue-green
mats of microbes embedded
in mucilage 56 had sprung up
all over the oiled intertidal ar-
eas of the Gulf, the first signs
of self-cleansing. Each gram
of a cyanobacteria mat con-
tains up to a million cells of
bacteria capable of digesting
34
anthrax [`xnTrxks]
35
to tarnish [`tRnIS]
36
to couple [`kApl]
37
benign [bI`naIn]
38
powerhouse [`pauqhaus]
39
to toil [tOIl]
40
ruminant animal [`rHmInqnt]
41
to derive [dI`raIv]
42
nodule [`nOdjHl]
43
leguminous [lI`gjHmInqs]
44
to compost [`kOmpOst]
45
to confer [kqn`fW]
46
oil shale [SeIl]
47
crude oil [krHd]
48
waste water сточные воды
49
derision [dI`rIZ(q)n]
50
domestic sewage [`sHIG]
51
industrial effluent [`efluqnt]
52
to dispose [dIs`pquz]
53
contaminated [kqn`txmIneItId]
54
crud [krAd]
55
obliteration [q"blIt(q)reIS(q)n]
56
mucilage [`mjHsIlIG]
57
to gobble [gObl]
oil. Although it is doubtful that
cyanobacteria can themselves
degrade oil, they are useful
nevertheless because they
provide the oil-gobbling 57
bacteria with both oxygen and
protection from being washed
away into the open sea. Two
researchers conducting stud-
ies in Nigeria in 1993 also de-
scribed an oil-utilising fungus,
Aspergillus niger. Studies car-
ried out in the Lagos Lagoon
have also shown that a variety
of bacteria, including Micro-
coccus and Pseudomonas,
have been responsible for
cleaning up the waters follow-
ing repeated spillages.
Being neither capable nor
willing of cleaning up large
messes, we should thus be
grateful that there are such
microbial consortia around to
do our dirty jobs for us.
Let’s Hear it for the Good
Guys
When the word ‘microbes’
is mentioned, people have the
tendency to think of damage
and disease, yet science and
nature have shown us that,
without these micro-organ-
isms, life on Earth would not
be possible. While it may be
true that there are some mi-
cro-organisms that are capa-
ble of making life miserable
for us all, the fact remains that
the majority of micro-organ-
isms are benign, or do us a
great deal of good by colour-
ing our world and making life
more interesting. Therefore it
is time for us to stop putting
the blame on micro-organisms
for every detriment that oc-
curs, and accept the multitude
of good ones as symbionts in
our lives, in a world that is too
big for us alone.
карбункул; сибирская язва
позорить, порочить, пятнать
соединять, связывать
добрый, милостивый
“мотор”, источник активности
усиленно трудиться над (чем-л.);
выполнять тяжёлую работу
жвачное животное
получать, извлекать
узелок; узелковое утолщение
бобовый; стручковый
превращать в компост, составное удобрение
даровать, давать
нефтеносный сланец
сырая, неочищенная нефть
высмеивание, насмешка
коммунально-бытовые сточные воды
промышленные сточные воды
отделаться, избавиться; ликвидировать
заражённый, загрязнённый
грязь
уничтожение
клейкое вещество (растений); слизь
есть жадно, быстро; пожирать
15

magine the scenario:
I you’re sitting in the
‘chair of doom2’ live on
a daytime TV chatshow.
The hostess3 asks you
sensitively: ‘So, have
you any idea why you’re here?’.
You shrug4 and look nervous.
As your other half enters the
set5, the bile6 rises to the back
of your throat, while a leaden7
weight falls to the bottom of
your stomach. With dread, your
mouth goes dry, your ears start
to buzz, as you hear the words
‘You know I love you. I’ll always
love you. But I’m not in love with
you.’ Oh the irony. You think: If
you love me, or have even the
tiniest speck8 of human respect
for me, why, why, why did you
Dealing witH
Being Dumped
have to dump me in front of an
audience of millions, then?
Being dumped is never nice
or, indeed, dignified9. Even
if you wanted to break up with
someone anyway, you’ll feel ir-
ritated that you didn’t get round
to doing it first.
Below is just some of the ex-
cellent advice on dealing with
being dumped....
Seeking Comfort
Perhaps this isn’t a manly man
solution towards recovery, but it
does work. Assuming you’re a
guy who’s been dumped by the
fairer sex, seek out any female
friends you might have and talk
with them about it. Don’t hit on
them or look for a rebound10
(though that may happen if
they’ve been waiting for you to
turn single). Women folk usu-
ally enjoy talking about relation-
ships and sharing some of your
thoughts about the break-up with
a neutral party can make under-
standing and getting past the
whole thing much faster.
Talking to people can only be
a positive thing, as it helps you
come to terms with11 the way
you feel, it makes you realise that
you’re not alone, and it puts you in
touch with your emotions.
You can find yourself feeling
that perhaps you’ve failed in
some way, if a once-strong re-
lationship breaks down. Having
people there to help you through
it, can be of some comfort, know-
ing that there are people who
care for you, and want to help
you move on.
16
Aunt Mary’s Purge12 and Pam-
per13 Method
There’s nothing like good ad-
vice from our elders and betters
and the following fool-proof14
method from one girl’s Aunty Mary
is sound advice indeed.
Once when I was dumped
rather hideously by a man who
lived across the street from me
(so I could see his new girlfriend’s
car sitting outside his apartment
every night), I was given some
excellent advice by a very wise
aunt. It worked for me, maybe
it will work for someone else as
well. I think of it as Aunt Mary’s
Purge and Pamper Method.
1. Get a hair cut - a really good
one at the nicest salon you can
afford.
2. Go through your house and
clean the hell out of it. Throw out
anything you haven’t used in don-
key’s years, anything too evoca-
tive15 of the dead relationship, and
anything of his/hers. If you can’t
bear to throw something out - put
it in deep, deep storage.
3. If you have any broken appli-
ance or anything that needs repair,
get it fixed or throw it out.
medium
4. Buy yourself some flowers.
1 the only way to maintain your dig-
nity (do not fall prey to17 being
petty18 and vindictive - exercise
maturity and restraint19), and at
the same time prove to yourself
Nice ones. Keep them someplace that you have the strength to exist
you can see them. This applies to independently. Not easy, but very
the boys too! important.
5. You are allowed to cry. You The ‘let’s stay friends’ line re-
are actually required to cry. Find a ally is a load of old baloney20 for
big, fluffy blanket to wrap yourself many who fall into the most re-
in while you do. cently dumped category. It hurts
6. Write a letter telling the per- a lot more if you’ve been dumped
son who dumped you exactly what to stay in touch and try to have a
you think of him/her, including all normal conversation when that
of the memories you have and all intimacy is gone. Not to mention
the hopes you once had. Then the torture you go through hearing
burn it ritualistically. about all the dating or whatever
Again, this worked for me they’re doing while you’re trying
- along with some really great to recover. The best thing to do is
friends who were around to take to cut off contact for a few months
me out and remind me that I was, while you find your feet again.
in fact, whole. Hear, Hear! The best reply to
The key things to staying friends are:
• Don’t be malicious22.
• Don’t say the unforgivable, unsayable thing.
• Recognize that the other person is in pain, and that
you have probably caused a lot of that pain.
• Have no expectation of getting back together again.
• Don’t be jealous of new partners, it isn’t worth it.
And some people just are not worth staying friends
with. But if you are a good picker, then it can be worth it.
Staying in Touch that old chestnut21 is ‘Let’s not’.
If you feel comfortable with it, talk The line ‘let’s stay friends’ often
to the ex - but not right away. We’ve translates into ‘I really don’t want
all seen the couples who ‘broke up’ to feel guilty about this, so help me
and are still seeing, talking to, and out here’.
sleeping with each other. It doesn’t But on the other hand, the peo-
do anyone any good - you need a ple you go out with are usually the
sense of a clean break at first, to people who you share most with,
regain your independence, and put and become your best friends.
them out of mind. Throwing that away every time a
It’s important to grieve16 and relationship breaks up means you
then make a clean break of it. If lose a lot of friends. Often you
they didn’t want you, let go! It’s might find yourself staying friends
 medium
with the person in the end anyway
(give it a while).
Staying in touch depends on
whether you were treated respect-
fully during the dumping process or
not. If they cheated on you or lined
someone else up under your nose,
then no, you certainly shouldn’t be
friends, because people worth be-
ing friends with wouldn’t do that.
If they honestly and respectfully
told you that they didn’t have feel-
ings for you, and give you time to
adjust, then friendship is possible.
But still often difficult, especially
when the dumper finds new love
before the dumpee.
Public Displays of Affection
One of the more difficult things
for a recent dumpee or, (depend-
ing on the person) anyone single,
is seeing couples together. Should
couples learn to keep PDAs (Pub-
lic Displays of Affection) hidden,
for private moments, to save the
rest of us? Or should they be al-
lowed to express their love?
On my way home from work I
walk through a park that during the
summer months is full of couples
cuddling23 (on one memorable day
doing far more than cuddling, they
could have been arrested!). Now
I’m recently out of a relationship,
and I find this a real gauntlet24 (I’ve
learnt to stare at the floor).
Play the Blues
Gettin’ dumped sure ain’t easy.
Self-pity for a while is OK, it’s
even an important psychological
mechanism. Crying is OK, and
for some the blues evokes the
right mood if you know how to
play an instrument.
Ahh... the comforts of an instru-
ment, the whining sound of a guitar,
the jagged sound of a saxophone,
the fading tones of a trumpet.
They’ll get you out of it in no time.
On Blokes and Ballet
The following advice comes
from Cynthia Heimel’s brilliant
book Sex Tips for Girls, it’s prob-
ably only valid for girls... but there
must be an equivalent for men.
When you’ve been dumped
and your heart is breaking, imag-
ine your ex bloke in a tutu25. And
ballet shoes.
It helps.
Extremes
Below are two Researcher ex-
amples of how they went to ex-
tremes to get over the pain of be-
ing dumped. Read on so you can
learn from others’ experiences...
Don’t Go Nuts
Indeed, don’t do it. I got dumped
badly the first time about six years
ago and hit the bottle26 big time,
www.english4u.com.ua
kept doing the ‘Stalker27’ routine
and ‘just happening’ to turn up
everywhere she was. There fol-
lowed a few revenge28 relation-
ships with some poor unfortunate
girls, and the whole sorry affair
included my waking up in hospital
many times (most impressively for
having somehow fallen off a cliff,
still don’t know how I did that).
Anyhow, I finally sorted29 myself
out when I met someone else that
I actually liked two years and an
amazing amount of money, alco-
hol and drugs later.
So I said to myself, this time,
no acting like a moron if it goes
pear-shaped again. And guess
what, three years later I get
dumped again, but this time I
avoided doing the whole alco-
holic/junky thing and instead
went completely nuts without ei-
ther. The stalker routine returned
again (really, don’t ever do this,
nobody finds it attractive, it is
strictly for the clinically insane)
and so on and so forth, until the
nice doctors told me I really was
insane this time. Oh dear. Still, a
year and a half and many happy
pills later I am once again per-
fectly human, and not in the least
psychotic, manically depressed
or paranoid. And I’ve got the bit
of paper to prove it. Once again I
must stress don’t do this - ever!
Get Out There and Knock ‘em
Dead, Kid!
I got dumped by somebody I
loved very much about six years
ago (a childhood sweetheart who
I bumped into again after several
years). First off, I hit the whisky
- cost me a degree and several
thousand pounds.
Then, I realised that this wasn’t
the way forward, so (and I’m sure
many of you will disagree), I went
out and had lots of meaningless
sex. Felt much better about my-
self - realised I’m not such an ugly
chap, and moved on.
Starting Over
It can take a long time to get
over the break-up of any seri-
ous relationship, but how long
should you wait before starting
another and/or how long will the
pain and heartache last?
As a general rule of thumb, give
yourself two months to recover
for every year of the relationship.
If your relationship lasted three
years, then that’s six months
needed to recover sufficiently to
begin serious dating again.
I only wish my partner had tak-
en this advice before we started
dating. We had a rocky first year.
Fortunately, we are still together
after three years and are still very
much in love.
A Heartwarming Story about Staying in Touch
Staying friends is hard. You’ll never manage it in the same
way again. But it is possible. It takes time, space, and friends
who don’t take sides. I am godmother to the daughter of one of
the guys who dumped me.
I still trust my ex enough to ask him to sign an enduring power
of attorney30 alongside my sister. This means that they would have
joint control of my affairs if anything happens to me that I can’t con-
trol them myself. In fact I trust him more than her in this case.
We aren’t close friends. But after five years of hard work, it
feels like I have gained a brother. And I am likely to see the third
ex next weekend. So it can be done. And the biggest advantage
is that you retain joint custody31 of your other friends.
It is tough though. And it requires massive amounts of self control,
and a lot of time.
... and One that Will Send Shivers down your Spine
I think people who stay in touch with ex-lovers have ulterior
motives, as has already been said.
One ex (last year) dumped me, then three months later asked
me out for a meal. I was eating and chatting about nothing when
he suddenly announced that he wanted us to get back together.
Dumfounded32, I agreed.
It turned out he’d been turned down for finance and he wanted
a computer. I signed the finance papers. Then he started meeting
women off the Internet and I found out he was spending week-
ends with a woman in Leicester, so I dumped him.
If you get dumped, it’s probably a good thing to get some dis-
tance. Perhaps in time you can go back and be friends, but not
right then, and not right there, because it isn’t fair to either of you.
It’s also completely unfair to ask someone - anyone - to take that
kind of rejection and just get over it, anyone who expects it should
not be considered much of a friend.
1
to dump [dAmp] бросать
2
doom [dHm] рок, судьба, фатум
3
hostess [`hqustIs] ведущая
4
to shrug [SrAg] пожимать (плечами)
5
set [set] съёмочная площадка
6
bile [baIl] желчь
7
leaden [`led(q)n] свинцовый
8
speck [spek] крупинка, частичка
9
dignified [`dIgnIfaId] обладающий чувством собственного достоинства
10
rebound [`rJbaund] отдача; отскок; удручённое состояние
11
to come to terms (with smth.) примириться с чем-л.; привыкнуть к чему-л
12
purge [pWG] очищение; очистка
13
to pamper [`pxmpq] баловать, потакать, изнеживать
14
foolproof [`fHlprHf] элементарный в обращении; понятный каждому
15
evocative [I`vOkqtIv] вызывающий воспоминания
16
to grieve [grJv] горевать, убиваться
17
to fall prey to smth. [preI] стать жертвой чего-л.
18
petty [`petI] мелочный; недалёкий, ограниченный
19
restraint [rI`streInt] сдержанность
20
baloney [bq`lqunI] трескучие фразы, вздор, ерунда, чепуха, туфта
21
chestnut [`CesnAt] банальность, общее место
22
malicious [mq`lISqs] злобный, злой
23
to cuddle [`kAdl] обниматься
24
gauntlet [`gLntlIt] рукавица; перчатка с крагами; вызов (challenge);
прогон сквозь строй (вид наказания)
25
tutu [`tHtH] пачка (балерины)
26
to hit the bottle пристраститься / прикладываться к бутылке
27
stalker [`stLkq] упорный преследователь
28
revenge [rI`venG] месть
29
to sort out [sLt] решать (проблему)
30
power of attorney ["pauqrqvq`tWnI] доверенность
31
custody [`kAstqdI] опека; забота, попечение; защита
32
to dumbfound [dAm`faund] ошарашить, ошеломить, потрясти
17
 easy

diots in the office are just as hazardous 1 to your health as cigarettes, caf-
I feine or greasy food, an eye-opening new study reveals.
In fact, those dopes 2 can kill you! Stress is one of the top causes
of heart attacks – and working with stupid people
on a daily basis is one of the deadliest forms of
stress, according to researchers at Sweden’s
Lindbergh University Medical Centre.
The author of the study, Dr Dagmar Andersson, says her
team studied 500 heart attack patients, and were puzzled to find 62
percent had relatively few of the physical risk factors commonly blamed
for heart attacks.
“Then we questioned them about lifestyle habits, and almost all of
these low-risk patients told us they worked with people so stupid they
can barely find their way from the park-

WOrking with
can kill you!
ing lot to their office. And their heart at-
tack came less than 12 hours after hav-
ing a major confrontation with one of Quotes About Stupidity
“The great thing about
these oafs 3.
democracy is that it gives
“One woman had to be rushed to the
“There is more stupidity “I’m not intending to im- every voter a chance to do
hospital after her assistant shredded4 im-
than hydrogen8 in the uni- ply11 insult or judgment here something stupid.”
portant company tax documents instead of verse and it has a longer but I am curious to know in Art Spander
copying them. A man told us he collapsed shelf life.” order to be able to respond
right at his desk because the woman at the - Frank Zappa to your posts in an appropri- “To be too dissatisfied with
next cubicle kept asking him for correction ate manner, so please for- ourselves is a weakness.
fluid – for her computer monitor. “Be careful to whom you give what appears to be, but To be too satisfied with our-
“You can cut back on smoking or im- distribute clues9. The last in fact is not intended as, an selves is a stupidity.”
prove your diet,” Dr Andersson says, thing anyone needs is a insulting question: Are you Magdeleine Sable
“but most people have very poor coping 5 more effective idiot.” stupid?” (French patroness of letters)
skills when it comes to stupidity – they - Anonymous - Melinda Shore
“The wise are instructed
“We don’t catch crooks12 by reason, average minds
“If you say something stupid and because we’re so smart. We by experience, the stupid by
catch them because they’re necessity and the brute by
no one disagrees, then you know so stupid.” instinct.”
- Murphy’s Laws of Law Cicero
that you’re the boss.” Enforcement Roman orator, statesman,
philosopher & writer
“Success in almost any
feel there’s nothing they can do about it, “The greatest danger field depends more on ener- “The height of stupidity is
so they just internalize 6 their frustration could be your stupidity.” gy and drive than it does on most clearly demonstrated
until they finally explode.” - Chinese fortune cookie intelligence. This explains by the individual who ridi-
Stupid co-workers can also double why we have so many stu- cules14 something he knows
or triple someone’s work load, she ex- “Not all men are stupid, pid leaders.” nothing about.”
plains. “Many of our subjects feel sorry some are still single.” Sloan Wilson Albert Einstein
for the drooling 7 idiots they work with, - Unknown
so they try to cover them by fixing their “To forget one’s purpose is “The genius of you Amer-
mistakes. One poor woman spent a “Did you eat an extra bowl the commonest form of stu- icans is that you never
week rebuilding client records because of stupid this morning?” pidity.” make clear-cut 15 stupid
a clerk put them all in the ‘recycle bin’ of - Maxine Friedrich Nietzsche moves, only complicated
her computer and then emptied it – she (Cartoon character) stupid moves which make
thought it meant the records would be “Men are born ignorant, not us wonder at the possi-
“God purposefully made stupid. They are made stupid bility that there may be
recycled and used again.”
stupid people. Every- by education.” something to them we are
1
hazardous [`hxzqdqs] опасный, рискованный
body needs something to Bertrand Russell missing.”
2
dope [dqup] идиот, придурок
3
oaf [quf] болван, тупица, олух laugh at.” Gamel Abdel Nasser
4
to shred [Sred] уничтожать документы - LT Ebner, USAF “Nothing in the world is more
(в бумагорезательной машинке) dangerous than sincere igno- “I am so stupid that I
5
coping [`kqupIN] психологическая адаптация, cannot understand phi-
“My loathings10 are sim- rance and conscientious13
6
to internalize [In`tWn(q)laIz] перенимать, усваивать
7
to drool [drHl] пускать слюну ple: stupidity, oppression, stupidity.” losophy; the antithesis of
8
hydrogen [`haIdrqGqn] водород crime, cruelty, soft music.” Martin Luther King Jr this is that philosophy is
9
clue [klH] ключ (к разгадке чего-л.) - Vladimir Nabokov so clever that it cannot
10
loathing [`lquDIN] отвращение; ненависть “It is stupidity rather than comprehend my stupidity.
11
to imply [Im`plaI] предполагать, подразумевать;
12
crook [kruk] жулик, мошенник “The sum of the intelligence courage to refuse to recog- These antitheses are me-
13
conscientious ["kOn(t)SI`en(t)Sqs] добросовестный, честный on the planet is a constant; nize danger when it is close diated in a higher unity; in
14
to ridicule [`rIdIkjHl] поднимать на смех the population is growing.” upon you.” our common stupidity.”
15
clear-cut ["klIq`kAt] ясно очерченный; чёткий - Cole Sir Arthur Conan Doyle Soren Kierkegaard
16
to encounter [In`kauntq] (неожиданно) встретиться

18
 elf.
ave yours
’t m icrow
• Don parts
into
r i c k b o d y
wab ’t stic
k n air-
o n ’ t thro • Don al out lets
.
r s e l f to a
•D u
ght u
p. electr
ic ie yo
strai e r o ad. r d i g ging • D on’t t peller.
in th re fo ot the plane
pro
ing it
t a k e naps S h o vels a gr ound, n empt sta y
o n ’ t s i - • t h e . o w t
•D e Pre in
holes your hou
se tter h ture,
r m eet th the o f • N o ma ne with na fences
u ev e floo r e be o f al l
• If yo on’t offer rearm by
hi m tylen is to outside o
d fi n g a n ace me to e
dent, e gi ft of a nly out of n usi the fl
a on th oo .
s e • Whe on’t feel tly hot. z ks
su r p r i
g it s u d d
r c h, d
fi c ien at the u m b tac n
i n t . t o u f t h so
whipp at pocke e e if it
’s s
e n s
g
tickin rds, pres
c o s t h e a
your ast e o t in • Wh lletin bo
xic w m. arefo king bare- u
r oun d t o
the W alk i n g b
. Wa l into b end.
l k a u g h • go o d ba d . fl a t
• Wa , not thro nd is cactus is the M-

!
a
dum p s
n d o nt h e s
o t o na a n d O C IRCU
to po
u rd fo field R N HO ULD
want the landlo do n a ball ads U NDE S -
• If y o u
t o tell d o n ’t y o u’r e o
t s “He T A N CES EPRO
i a t o r e a t , • I f s h o u
a i s e S E R R
rad th e h one
some n’t actual er it with
ly r EV
n up
to tur your head
. o v YOU .
d o E
h up!” up. C DUC
it wit e c o rrect o u r head nd duck.
h y a
has t on’t arms
o u r body les in it. D your
•Y ho
er of
numb ny more.
a
make
 age DRINK age SEDUCTION LINE age DEFINITION
17 beer 17 My parents are away for the weekend 17 «tongue» A SUCCESSFUL
25 vodka 25 My girlfriend is away for the weekend 25 «breakfast»
35 scotch 35 My fiancee is away for the weekend 35 «She didn’t set bac
48 double scotch 48 My wife is away for the weekend 48 «I didn’t have to me
66 Maalox 66 My second wife is dead 66 «Got home alive»

age FAVORITE FANTASY age HOUSE PET age WHAT’S THE

17 getting to third 17 roaches
17 25 TO GET
25 airplane sex 25 stoned-out college roommate 25 35
35 menage a trois 35 German Shepherd 35 48
48 taking the company public 48 children from his first marriage 48 66
66 Swiss maid/Nazi love slave 66 Barbi 66 17

The
e
Mal f/ F e
age DRINK
St a g e s O
17 Wine Coolers
25 White wine
35 Red wine
48 Dom Perignon
66 Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser

age EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES age FAVORITE SPORT

17 Need to wash my hair 17 shopping
25 Need to wash and condition my hair 25 shopping
35 Need to colour my hair 35 shopping
48 Need to have Francois colour my hair 48 shopping
66 Need to have Francois colour my wig 66 shopping

age IDEAL DATE age WHAT’S THE IDEAL AGE

17 He offers to pay
17 17 TO GET MARRIED?
25 He pays 25 25
35 He cooks breakfast the next morning 35 35
48 He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids 48 48
66
20 He can chew breakfast 66 66
 OF age FAVORITE SPORT
SUCCESSFUL DATE 17 sex
25 sex
ck my therapy» 35 sex
eet her kids» 48 sex
66 napping

THE IDEAL AGE

GET MARRIED?

e m a l e
f Life

age FAVORITE FANTASY age DEFINITION OF

17 tall, dark and handsome 17 «Burger King» A SUCCESSFUL DATE
25 tall, dark and handsome with money 25 «Free meal»
35 tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain 35 «A diamond»
48 a man with hair 48 «A bigger diamond»
66 a man 66 «Home Alone»

age HOUSE PET

17 Muffy the cat
25 Unemployed boyfriend and Muffy the Cat
35 German Shepherd and Muffy the Cat
48 Children from his first marriage and Muffy the Cat
66 Retired husband dabbles in taxidermy, stuffs MufFY the Cat 21
 • Women especially love a bargain. The question of
‘need’ is irrelevant, so don’t bother pointing it out.
Anything on sale is fair game.

• Women never have anything to wear. Don’t question

the racks of clothes in the closet; you ‘just don’t under-
stand’.

• Women need to feel like there are people worse off than
they are. That’s why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type
shows are so successful.

• Women are never wrong. Apologizing is the man’s responsi-

bility, ‘It’s there in the Bible’. Hmmm, who was it that gave Adam
the apple?

• Women don’t need sex as often as men do. This is because sex is more
physical for men and more emotional for women. Just knowing that the
man wants to have sex with them fulfills the emotional need.

• Women don’t understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment that allows
them to escape reality. Women seek entertainment that reminds them of how horrible
things could be.

• If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he’ll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some
things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day trip she’ll pack 21 outfits because she doesn’t
know what she’ll feel like wearing each day.

• If a man ticks off a woman she will often respond by getting a fuzzy toilet cover which
warms their rear, but makes it impossible for the lid to stay up thus it constantly gets peed
on by the guys. (which gets them in more trouble)

• Women want equal rights, but you rarely hear them clamoring to be let into the draft
to cover the responsibilities that go with those rights. All women seek equality with men
until it comes to sharing the closet, taking out the trash, and picking up the check.

• Women never check to see if the lid is up. They seem to prefer taking a flying butt
leap towards the bowl and then chewing men out because they ‘left the seat up’ instead
of taking two seconds and lowering it themselves.

• Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the show-
er. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest.

• All women are overweight by definition; don’t agree with them about it. Women
always have 5 pounds to lose, but don’t bring this up unless they really have 5
pounds to gain.

• Women can’t keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don’t
view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people.

22
 medium

Deja Vu
V a r i a n t s
We’ve all experienced deja vu in our lives, but did you know there are
many variants of deja Vu that you may have throughout your life?

The feeling that I re-

Deja The feeling that I’ve Deja membered this infor- Deja The feeling I’ve re-

boo RUE
been frightened like gretted this day before.
this before. knew mation before (before
the test, that was).

The feeling that this is

Deja The feeling my gov- Deja The feeling I’ve been Deja made from the pot roast
coup LOO stew
ernment has been over- to this bathroom before. my mom served the
thrown like this before. week before.

The feeling that colo- The feeling that I’ve

Deja nel mustard has done it Deja The feeling I’ve drank Deja experienced this before,
clue in the billiard room with
the lead pipe before. MOO this milk before.
too also.

The feeling I’ve cal- The feeling that I’ve

Deja The feeling my hair- Deja culated the mean of this
Deja experienced this before,
do MU TWO
dresser has given me
this cut before. population before. twice.

The feeling I haven’t

Deja The feeling I’ve Deja experienced this before. Deja The feeling that heath-

eau NEW
(AKA, “Vuja De” - Nothing er has yelled at some-
WOO
smelled this perfume
before. like this HAS EVER hap- one like this before.
pened to me before.)

Deja The feeling I’ve been Deja The feeling I’ve ex- Deja The feeling that YOU

FU o0h you
kicked in the head like claimed at these fire- have experienced this
this before. works before. before.

Deja The feeling I’ve Deja The feeling I’ve Deja The feeling that the

who POO ZOO

known who was on stepped in this be- monkey has done this
first before. fore. in public before.

DUH
The feeling that the an-
Deja The feeling I’ve Deja The feeling I’ve en-
swer was so obvious, that
jew q
wandered in the des- countered this entity
you *surely* should have
ert like this before. before. ja-vu known it before. DUH!

23

20-year study at
A Stanford University
examined the career
paths of thousands
of executives to de-
termine what quali-
ties they either had or devel-
oped that enabled them to
move ahead the most rapidly.
Researchers concluded that
there were two primary quali-
ties that, more than any oth-
ers, were indispensable 1 for
men and women who were
promoted to positions of great
responsibility.
The first quality was the
ability to function well in a cri-
sis. It was the ability of the ex-
ecutive to keep his or her cool
when the company or the de-
partment faced serious chal-
lenges or setbacks 2. It was
Working
Well With Others
the ability to calmly analyze
the facts, gather information,
reach conclusions, make de-
cisions, and then mobilize the
other people to respond effec-
tively and solve the problem.
However, this quality, the
researchers found, could be
tested only in a real crisis. It
was not possible to create a
phony 3 crisis to tell how well
an executive would perform.
The second quality that was
identified among the fast-
trackers 4 was the ability to
function well as a member of
a team. This tendency toward
cooperation rather than con-
frontation was evident early
in a person’s career. It was
the primary quality that se-
nior executives looked for and
rewarded the most. The abil-
ity to be a good team player
inevitably led to greater and
greater opportunities to func-
tion as a member of more
and more important teams. In
g
fact, teamwork is so important
that it is virtually impossible
for you to reach the height of
your capabilities, or make the
money that you want, without
becoming very good at it.
You can make the decision
to be an excellent team player
in everything you do at work
and at home. Your aim should
be to seek out every opportu-
24
By Saurin Desai
nity to demonstrate your abili-
ty to contribute to the success
of a group of people in ac-
complishing large objectives.
And you can start right where
you are.
Let’s start off with the defi-
nition of team. A team is two
or more people who combine
their talents and abilities to
accomplish a specific goal or
series of goals. A team, by
definition, is made up largely
of equals 5, men and women
who are different only in their
areas of skill and who are
peers 6 when they sit down to-
gether as a work group.
In this sense, you and your
spouse 7 are a team. You and
your coworkers make up a
team. When you volunteer in
any charitable organization,
all the people you work with
are members of a team. If you
have a social circle and you
plan activities together, you
are functioning as a team.
A team is formed to take ad-
vantage of the power of syn-
ergy 8. Synergy means that
the total is greater than the
sum of its parts. For example,
let’s say that four individuals
working alone will produce
four units of work; when they
are combined as a team, the
four individuals may produce
five or six or eight or even 10
units of work. Many jobs sim-
ply cannot be done by one
person working alone, wheth-
er it’s carrying a heavy box or
carrying out a major corporate
project. A team needs to be
formed whenever the task at
hand is greater than the ca-
pacity of any individual work-
ing alone.
Over the last few decades,
the concept of teamwork has
evolved 9 rapidly. We came out
of World War II with a “com-
mand and control” mentality.
Most of the heads of American
corporations, large and small,
had been military officers, of
various ranks, during the war.
They brought their training
into the workplace. Their ap-
proach to management was
the hierarchy 10 or pyramid
style, with the president at the
top, the senior executives be-
low him, the junior executives
below them, and so on, all
the way down to the workers
and support staff who made
up the base of the pyramid.
The orders traveled in one
direction: downward. Informa-
tion filtered up slowly. People
were expected to do their job,
collect their paycheck and be
satisfied. However, two forces
have converged 11 to trans-
form this approach to manage-
ment dramatically. First is the
medium
rapid rate of change and the
increasing complexity of even
the smallest business opera-
tion due to the advent 12 of the
computer age. Everyone has
critical skills and knowledge
that are necessary to many
other people if the job is to
get done on time and to an ac-
ceptable standard of quality.
For example, in our office,
our receptionist has been
promoted to the position of
“front-office manager.” Some
years ago, when I started in
business, the job of the re-
ceptionist was to answer the
telephone and direct the call-
ers to the appropriate people.
Today, however, her job is far
more complicated and, there-
fore, more important. Since
she is the first contact that
most customers have with our
business, her personality and
temperament are extremely
important. The prospective
client who telephones begins
forming an impression of us
the instant that the telephone
is answered. Then, because
our companies are doing so
many things, she must tact-
fully ascertain exactly how the
caller may be best served and
who is the best person in the
company to direct the tele-
phone call to. In many cases,
there are requests for further
information, and follow-up
telephone calls go through
our front-office manager. Her
ability to handle these calls ef-
 medium
fectively, to direct calls to the
right people, to take accurate
messages, and to act as the
core person in a network of
communications, makes her
job so important that it is es-
sential that she sit in on all
staff meetings and be aware
of everything that is going on.
Your job in your company
also requires that you know a
lot about what is going on ev-
erywhere else, as well as be
thoroughly conversant 13 with
what you do. And the fast-
est and most accurate way
of keeping current with what
is going on is to develop and
maintain a network of con-
tacts, an informal team of peo-
ple within your workplace who
keep you informed and who
you keep informed in turn.
The old methods of com-
mand and control now exist
only at the old-line 14 compa-
nies, many of which are fight-
ing for their very survival. To-
day, men and women want a
high degree of participation
and involvement in their work.
They want an opportunity to
discuss and thoroughly under-
stand what they are doing and
why they are doing it. People
are no longer satisfied to be
cogs 15 in a big machine. They
want to have an integral role
in achieving goals that they
participated in setting in the
first place.
Being a team player is no
longer something that is op-
tional. Today, it is manda-
tory 16. If you want to achieve
www.english4u.com.ua
anything of consequence 17,
you will need the help and
cooperation of lots of peo-
ple. Your main objective is to
structure everything you do
in such a way that, because
you are constantly cooperat-
ing and working well with oth-
ers, they are continually open
to helping you achieve your
goals as well. Now, the ma-
jor reason why teams do not
function well, and why people
end up not making their full
contribution to the success of
the teams, is lack of clarity.
All the studies of team build-
ing and team development
focus in on the importance of
everyone’s being absolutely
clear about what the team is
trying to accomplish. This can
be in the form of a goal or ob-
jective handed down by senior
management, or it can be the
result of discussion and par-
ticipation by the various team
members. In any case, every-
one must know what is to be
done, to what standard, by
what deadline, and what the
roles and responsibilities of
each team member will be in
the achievement of that goal.
One of your key concerns
is to be absolutely clear about
exactly what is expected of
you. If for any reason you
are not sure, bring it up and
ask about it until you have no
doubt whatsoever. Then get
busy, do exactly what is ex-
pected of you, and do it well.
Remember, in all your in-
teractions with your team,
your role is to be supportive
and helpful. Your role is not to
challenge, criticize or argue,
but to look for solutions and
for opportunities to help other
people make their maximum
contribution as well. When
you sit in on a team meet-
ing, you are “onstage.” Ev-
eryone is watching you. The
best team players I have ever
seen are those whose com-
ments to the other members
of the team are in the form
of suggestions on how things
can be done better. The best
team members are always
offering to help other people
after the meetings to get on
top of some aspect of their
work. This focus on collabora-
tion and cooperation is seen
by everybody and marks you
as a person to be both liked
and respected. Many men and
women have kicked their ca-
reers into the stratosphere by
1
indispensable ["IndI`spen(t)sqbl]
2
setback [`setbxk]
3
phon(e)y [`fqunI] ложный, поддельный; фальшивый
4
fast tracker тот, кто ускоренно продвигается по службе
5
equal [`Jkwql] равноправный, равный
6
peer [pIq]
7
spouse [spauz] муж, супруг; жена, супруга
8
synergy [`sInqGI] успешные совместные усилия;
9
to evolve [I`vOlv] обнаруживать; развиваться
10
hierarchy [`haIqrRkI]
11
to converge [kqn`vWG]
12
advent [`xdvqnt]
13
conversant [kqn`vWs(q)nt]
14
old-line [`quldlaIn]
15
cog [kOg]
16
mandatory [`mxndqt(q)rI]
17
consequence [`kOn(t)sIkwqn(t)s]
18
from scratch [skrxC] с нуля; на пустом месте; без преимущества
19
Confucius [kqn`fjHSqs]
taking on a small responsibil-
ity and doing such a good job
with it that they came to the
attention of important people
both inside and outside their
organizations.
For example, some years
ago, the chairman of a con-
glomerate for which I worked
asked me if I would set up
the importation and distribu-
tion of the Suzuki motor ve-
hicles into Western Canada.
Even though I knew nothing
about automobile importa-
tion, I jumped on the oppor-
tunity with enthusiasm. For
the next three months, I threw
my whole heart into learn-
ing everything I could about
the importation and distribu-
tion of foreign automobiles. In
the following two-and-a-half
years, we imported and sold
more than $25 million worth of
vehicles, through 65 dealer-
ships, all of which I had set up
from scratch 18. Then one day,
I got a call from the president
of another billion-dollar orga-
nization. He offered me three
times my current salary if I
would take charge of his $275
million development business.
He told me later that the de-
termining factor of the offer he
had made me was my proven
ability with Suzuki to put to-
gether a team to achieve suc-
cessful financial results. And it
will be the same for you.
Continually look for oppor-
tunities to get onto teams and
to make valuable contribu-
tions. Volunteer for additional
assignments. Focus on high-
priority tasks, and finish what
you start on time. Do excellent
work. And remember that, as
Confucius 19 said, “He who
would be master must be ser-
vant of all.”
обязательный; важный, необходимый
неудача
(наиболее перспективный работник)
ровня, равный (по положению, способностям)
совместная деятельность
иерархия
сводиться в одну точку; встречаться
наступление (эпохи, события)
хорошо знакомый
традиционный; консервативный
зубец (колеса) ; выступ (шестерни);
мелкая сошка (о человеке)
обязательный, принудительный
важность, значимость; влиятельная позиция
Конфуций
25
 easy

tymology
e This usage of the word was coined2 by Lewis Carroll in
Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There
(1871). In the book, Humpty Dumpty explains to Alice
words from Jabberwocky, saying, “Well, slithy means lithe
and slimy ... You see it’s like a portmanteau — there are
two meanings packed up into one word.” Carroll often used such
words to a humorous effect in his work.
“Portmanteau”, from Middle French “porter” (to carry) and “man-
teau” (a coat or cover), formerly referred to a large travelling bag or
suitcase with two compartments, hence3 the linguistic idea of fus-
ing two words and their meanings into one. “Portmanteau” is rarely
used to refer to a suitcase in English any more, since that type of a
suitcase has fallen into disuse. In French, the word has the different
meaning of “coat hanger”, and sometimes “coat rack”, and is spelled
“porte-manteau”. The French word for “Portmanteau” is “mot valise”,
which translates literally as “suitcase word”.

List of
Portmanteaux
This is a partial list of hybrid words, or “blends” — words formed by combining
1
two pre-existing words — in the English language. Most portmanteau words com-
bine the prefix of one word with the suffix of the other. This process sometimes
creates derivative meanings for the prefix and suffix. Some portmanteaux, how- • dancercise from dance and exercise.
ever, combine the prefixes from both words (e.g., the portmanteau-word, “mo- • deliquid from delicious and liquid.
dem” - from modulator and demodulator). • dramastic from dramatic and drastic.
• dramedy from drama and comedy.
effects technique (coined by Ken Ralston/ • ebonics from ebony13 and phonics14.
Sony Pictures Imageworks) • ecoteur from ecological and saboteur.
• bodacious from bold and audacious8 • edutainment from education and enter-
• advertecture from advertising and archi- • boxercise from boxing and exercise tainment.
tecture • brunch from breakfast and lunch • electrocution from electricity and execu-
• aerobatics from aerial and acrobatics • Californication from California and for- tion (originally only referred to execution in
• affluenza from affluence and influenza nication9 an electric chair).
• alphabet from alpha and beta, the first two • camcorder from camera and recorder • escopetarra from Spanish escopeta (shot-
letters of the Greek alphabet • caplet from capsule and tablet gun/rifle) and guitarra (guitar); a guitar made
• anacronym from anachronism and ac- • carboloy from carbon and alloy10 from an AK-47
ronym • Chunnel from Channel and tunnel • exercycle from exercise and cycle.
• arcology from architecture and ecology • chillaxing from chilling and relaxing • fantabulous from fantastic and fabulous.
• arfé from art and café • Chinglish from Chinese and English • farla from fugly15 and carla
• assgasm from ass and orgasm • chortle from chuckle 11 and snort 12, • fanzine from fan and magazine.
• automagical from automatic and magical coined by Lewis Carroll • Fergalicious from Fergie and delicious
• avgas from aviation and gasoline • flexicurity from flexibility and security
• backronym from back and acronym • folksonomy from folk and taxonomy16.
• banoffee from banana and toffee 4 A WORD OF WISDOM • fpoon from Frosty and spoon.
• bedaffle from bedazzle5 and baffle6 • foon from fork and spoon (see also spork,
• beefalo from beef and buffalo Kill two birds with below).
• beutifantistarific from beautiful, fantas- one stone • Franglais from français (French for
tic, and terrific “French”) and anglais (French for “English”)
• bionicle from biological, and chronicle (see also – lish, below)
• Clintwood from Clinton and Eastwood, the • frankenfood from Frankenstein and food,
• bioterrorism from biological and terrorism
• Blackanese from black and Japanese or actor and director himself, coined by Clint- a reference to GMOs
Chinese wood Apartments • frankenword from Frankenstein and word,
• /b/lackup from /b/, black and backup • cocacolonization from Coca-Cola and a clunky portmanteau (e.g. infotainment or
• blaxican from black and mexican colonization stalkerazzi)
• blaxploitation from black and exploi- • cosplay from costume and play • frappuccino from frappé17 and cappuc-
tation • cremains from cremated and remains cino
• bleen from blue and green, coined by • crisitunity from crisis and opportunity • frowculation from frown and calculation
Nelson Goodman to illustrate Goodman’s • crunk from crazy and drunk • fucktard from fucking and retard
paradox • cryptex from cryptology and codex • fugly from fucking and ugly
• blipster from black and hipster7 • cyborg from cybernetic and organism • fungasm from fun and orgasm
• blorph from blend and morph, a visual • craptacular from crap and spectacular • fucksy from fuck and sexy

26
 easy
• gaydar from gay and radar
• gaysian from gay and Asian
• gerrymander from Gerry and Salamander
• ginormous from gigantic and enormous
• grue from green and blue (see bleen,
above)
• guesstimate from guess and estimate
• herpegonosyphillaids from herpes, gon-
orrhea, syphillis, and AIDS
• herstory from her and history
• humanure from human and manure18.
• ineptitude from inept19 and aptitude
• insinnuendo from ‘insinuate’ and ‘in-
nuendo 20’
• intertwingle (or intertwangle) from inter-
twine and intermingle
• Jazzercise from jazz and exercise
• joygasm from joy and orgasm
• lenovo from legend and novo (new)
• liger from lion and tiger cf. tigon
• – lish used as a suffix to form many fran-
kenwords meaning foreign varieties of Eng-
lish (see also Franglais, above):
- Chinglish (Chinese)
- Czenglish (Czech)
- Germlish or Denglish (German)
- Greeklish (Greek)
- Hebrish (Hebrew)
- Hinglish (Hindi)
- Hunglish (Hungarian)
- Japlish (Japanese). Similar are the
words Janglish, which involves utiliz-
ing English words with a Japanese pro-
nunciation (sometimes called Katakana
English), and Engrish, which is simply
English being inappropriately utilized in
the context of Japanese culture.
- Konglish (Korean)
- Malglish (Malaysian)
- Poglish (Polish)
- Russlish (Russian)
- Singlish (Singaporean)
- Spanglish (Spanish)
- Swahinglish (Swahili)
- Swenglish (Swedish)
- Taglish (Tagalog)
- Wenglish (Welsh)
- Tanglish (Tamil)
- Tinglish (Thai)
- Yinglish (Yiddish)
• masstige, from mass market and prestige,
describes prestige items sold in
• mathlete, from maths/math and athlete
• McJob, from McDonalds and job
• McLife, from McDonalds and life
• McMansion, from McDonalds and mansion
• mechatronics from mechanics and elec-
tronics
• meld possibly from melt or mold and weld
• Melodyssey, from Melodic and Odyssey,
from the Australian band Melodyssey
• metrosexual most commonly, from met-
ropolitan and heterosexual; some argue the
etymology can be attributed to metera, from
the Greek word meaning ‘mother’ (or effemi-
www.english4u.com.ua
nate), from which metropolitan is derived • snark from snide and remark
• meowse from cat (meow) and mouse • shlam from slam and ham
• mobisode from mobile phone and episode • spanglish from Spanish and English
• mobitone from mobile phone and ring tone • spork from spoon and fork
• mockney from mock and Cockney • sportscast from sports and broadcast
• moped from motor and pedal • squircle from square and circle
• motel from motor and hotel • stagflation from stagnation24 and inflation
• moxibustion from mogusa, the Japanese • starchitect from star and architect
name for Artemisia vulgaris, and combustion • strunk from stoned and drunk
• mutagen from mutation and from Gk. gen- • Swisslish from Swiss and English
esis “origin, creation, generation,” • tangelo from tangerine25 and pomelo26
• tardass from retard and dumbass
• televangelist from television and evangelist
• TGI McChiliBees from TGI Friday’s, McDon-
ald’s, Chili’s, and Applebee’s restaurants
• Oxbridge from Oxford and Cambridge • tofurkey from tofu and turkey
• parkade from parking and arcade • toonie from two and loonie, a Canadian $2
• permaculture from permanent agriculture, coin (where a loonie is the Canadian $1 coin)
or permanent culture, coined by Bill Mollison • transceiver from transmitter and receiver
and David Holmgren during the 1970s • transponder from transmitter and responder
• Pastafarian from pasta and Rastafarian • trill from true and real
• permafrost from permanent and frost • triticale from triticum and secale (Latin for
• petrochemical from petroleum and chemi- wheat and rye)
cal. Because the crucial root oleo has been • tüber from teh/t3h and über
removed, this word is a portmanteau. • turducken from turkey, duck, and chicken,
• phoneme from phonetics and scheme. This a food dish in which a turkey is stuffed with a
is a way to distinguish sounds of symbols. duck which is itself stuffed with a chicken)
• pixel from picture and element. • twincest from twin and incest
• pluot from plum and apricot
• pomosexual from postmodern and sexual
• pornograffiti from pornography and graffiti
• posistor from positive and thermistor
• prosumer from professional and consumer • übertastic from über and fantastic
— products at a quality between ‘profes- • Vietnamasian from Vietnamese and Asian,
sional’ products and ‘consumer’ products; used when someone is unsure if they or
typically marketed as such someone else are/is from Vietnam or from
• Québéxican from Québécois 21 and some other country in Asia.
Mexican a popular term for the language • webzine from web and magazine
and people of the province of Quebec, • wigger from white and nigger, a Cau-
Canada. casian person who dresses, speaks, etc.
• Positron from positive and electron in an attempt to emulate 27 the perceived
mannerisms of an African American youth,
especially those mannerisms based on
It’s the linguistic idea ethnic stereotype; also spelled whigger or
wigga.
of fusing two words • Youthanasia from youth and euthanasia.
and their meanings Megadeth song and album released in 1994.
into one 1
portmanteau [pLt`mxntqu] лексическая контаминация,
слово-гибрид (искусств. слово,
составленное из двух слов);
чемодан; дорожная сумка
2
to coin [kOIn] создавать неологизмы
(новые слова и выражения)
3
hence [hen(t)s] отсюда
4
toffee [`tOfI] ириска
5
to bedazzle [bI`dxzl] ослеплять блеском
• ramen from ramen22 and amen23 6
to baffle [`bxfl] сбивать с толку
• snecret or sneakret from sneak and secret 7
hipster [`hIpstq] знаток и любитель
• satisficing from Herbert Simon, satisfac- джазовой музыки
8
audacious [L`deISqs] бесстрашный, храбрый
tory and sufficing 9
fornication ["fLnI`keIS(q)n] внебрачная связь; блуд
• screenager from screen (as in a computer
10
alloy [`xlOI] сплав
11
chuckle [`CAkl] тихий смех; смех про себя
monitor) and teenager 12
snort [snLt] фырканье
• sexcapade from sex and escapade (выражение презрения)
13
ebony [`eb(q)nI] чёрное (эбеновое) дерево
• sexercise from sex and exercise 14
phonics [`fOnIks] акустика
• sexile from sex and exile 15
fugly [`fAglI] (inform.) страшный, огромный
• sexploitation from sex and exploitation
16
taxonomy таксономия, иерархическая
классификация объектов
• simulcast from simultaneous and broadcast 17
frappé [`frxpeI] охлаждённый; со льдом
• silastic combination silicone and plastic
18
manure [mq`njuq] навоз, компост, удобрение
19
inept [I`nept] неподходящий; неуместный
• skort from skirt and short (as in short pants) 20
innuendo ["Inju`endqu] косвенный намёк; инсинуация
• slanguage from slang and language 21
Québécois ["keIbe`kwR] квебекский
22
ramen [`rRmqn] лапша быстрого приготовления
• smacktard from smack (a slang term for 23
amen ["R`men] аминь, воистину; согласие
gossip or the drug heroin) and retard 24
stagnation [stxg`neIS(q)n] застой, застойные явления
• smaze from smoke and haze
25
tangerine ["txnG(q)`rJn] мандарин (плод)
26
pomelo [`pOmIlqu] помелло (цитрусовый фрукт)
• smog from smoke and fog 27
to emulate [`emjHleIt] соперничать; имитировать
27
 easy

hese aren’t necessarily jokes, but

Tthey are so weird that you’ll prob-
ably just start laughing after you read
them anyway. That is until you start
racking your brain trying to figure out
how they work out how they do!

Mind Benders
Where did the other dollar go? Eternal Number Nine
3 guys go for dinner, each buys a $10 steak. At the Depending on how you ask the
end of the meal, they collect $30 between the three questions, you can force the answer
of them to cover the cost of the meals and gives it
to the waitress. She goes back to the cash register,
you seek! Remember 43% of polls are
where the overlooking manager says “Those dinners wrong, the other 78% are made up!
are discounted, you need to give them $5 back.” So Don’t jump to the answer. Take this
the waitress gets the five dollars, and returns to the test mentally, don’t write down your
table. Not knowing how to split $5 between the three answers, and don’t shout them out.
of them, she gives 1 dollar to each of the three pa-
trons, and kept two for herself. 1. Pick a number from 2 to 9. It can be 2
Now if you do the math, together they paid $30, got $3 back meaning they or it can be 9, or any number in between.
only paid $27. Thus each guy paid $9 for steaks and the waitress got $2, for a 2. Take that number that you’ve cho-
total of $29. Where did the other dollar go? sen, and multiply it by 9.
accounts for the original $30. 3. That should give you a two digit
of the patrons got back $1 for a total of $3. The $27 that they spent plus the $3 returned number. Take those two digits and add
included in this $27. You should not add $2 to $27 because it is already included. Each them together.
Answer 2: Each person paid $9 for a total of $27. The $2 that the waitress got is 4. Take the resulting number and sub-
leads us to the $25 actually spent on the meal. tract 5 from it.
we should read “they paid $27 and it was also the case that the waitress got $2”, which 5. Take that number and correspond
paid $27 plus the waitress got $2” we end up focusing on a meaningless $29 total. Instead, it to the alphabet, numbering the letters.
A =1, B=2, C=3, and so on...
which can mean either “plus” or “it was also the case”. If we read the last sentence as “they
6. Take your letter, and think of a
ting the extra $2. The seeming difficulty of the question arises from the final “and”, a word
Answer 1: Each of the guys ultimately paid $9 to buy a $25 meal, with the waitress get-
country that begins with that letter.
7. Take the last letter in the name of
that country, and think of an animal.
For Workaholics 8. Now, take the last letter in the name
So you want a day off. Let’s take a look at what of that animal, and think of a color.
you are asking for. There are 365 days per year availa- 9. But remember, that there are no or-
ble for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you
ange kangaroos in Denmark.
already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days
available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day
away from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving
only 91 days available. You spend 30 minutes each
day on coffee break which counts for 23 days each
year, leaving only 68 days available.
With a 1 hour lunch each day, you used up another 46
days, leaving only 22 days available for work. You nor-
mally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves
you only 20 days per year available for work. We are off 5 holidays per year, so your avail-
able working time is down to 15 days. We generously give 14 days vacation per year which
leaves only 1 day available for work and I’ll be damned if you are going to take that day off!

28
 medium

Mythological
Monsters
Quiz
Thousands of years before Frankenstein, Dracula, and the Wolfman, these
monsters from ancient mythology terrorized humans as well as the gods.

1 6
This half-man, half-bull beast was kept in They’re giants with only one eye. Odysseus
a labyrinth on Crete. and his men were imprisoned by one.

a) Minotaur b) Chimera c) Phoenix a) Harpies b) Cyclopes c) Gorgons

If looks could kill: this tiny king of serpents’

2 7
In Egypt, this beast had the body of a lion
and the head of a man; in Greece, it had the single glance would knock you dead – if his bad
breasts and head of a woman and wings. breath or trail of deadly venom didn’t get you first.

a) Basilisk b) Sphinx c) Chimera a) Basilisk b) Hydra c) Minotaur

8
This many-headed water serpent was

3
Talk about ugly. Just looking at this snake-
haired monster would turn you to stone. pretty hard to kill – cut off one head, two
more appear.
a) Medusa b) Harpies c) Chimera
a) Hydra b) Phoenix c) Basilisk

9
The original hound from hell, this pooch

4
This monster is why peacocks’
had three heads, a tail and mane of snakes,
tails have eyes.
and guarded the entrance to Hades.
a) Cyclops b) Medusa c) Argus
a) Basilisk b) Cerberus c) Minotaur

5 10
This fire-breathing mishmash of a monster The granddaddy (well, daddy) of mon-
was a lion with a goat’s head in the middle of sters, he sired Cerberus, Hydra, Chimera,
its back and a dragon’s head for a tail. and Sphinx among others.

a) Basilisk b) Medusa c) Chimera a) Typhon b) Phoenix c) Kraken

ANSWER: na, resulting in a bad hair life. Per-

1. Minotaur (King Minos of Crete
demanded seven youths and seven
maidens a year for the Minotaur.
Theseus finally killed the monster.)
2. Sphinx (The Grecian sphinx also had
wings and asked Oedipus a riddle.)
3. Medusa (Medusa offended Athe-
seus killed Medusa by using his
shield as a mirror.
4. Cerberus (Hercules captured
Cerberus as the last of his twelve
labors.)
5. Chimera (The Chimera was
slain by Bellerophon with the help
of Pegasus.)
7. Cyclopes (According to Homer, Poly-
phemus ate a few of Odysseus’ men
before they blinded him and escaped.
Hesiod portrays the Cyclopes as being
foul-tempered but not quite as nasty.)
6. Basilisk (Many centuries of story
telling caused the Basilisk to grow
from a small snake to a mightier rep-
tile. Harry Potter met a huge basilisk in
the Chamber of Secrets.)
8. Hydra (Hercules managed to slay
the Hydra as his second labor)
9. Argus (After Hermes killed the hun-
dred-eyed Argus, Hera took the eyes
and put them in a peacock’s tail)
10. Typhon (Typhon, the son of
Gaea, was so bad Zeus himself set
Typhon on fire and buried him un-
der Mt. Etna

www.english4u.com.ua 29

Brunette &
BlondeJ o k e s
•••
Q. What do you call going on a
blind date with a brunette?
A. Brown-bagging it*.
•••
Q. What’s the real reason a
brunette keeps her figure?
A. No one else wants it.
•••
Q. What do you call a brunette
in a room full of blondes?
A. Invisible.
•••
Q. What’s a brunette’s mat-
ing call 1 ?
A. “Has the blonde left yet?”
•••
Q. What’s black and blue and
brown and laying in a ditch 2 ?
A. A brunette who’s told too
many blonde jokes.
•••
Q. What do brunettes miss
most about a great party?
A. The invitation
•••
Q. What is a brunette between
two blondes?
A. An interpreter 3 .
30
easy
••• blonde behind a
Q. Did you hear about the new steering wheel 11 ? •••
blonde paint? A. An airbag 12 . Q. What’s a blonde’s favorite
A. It’s not real bright, but it’s ••• nursery rhyme 16 ?
cheap, and spreads 4 easy. Q. What did the blonde’s right A. Humpme Dumpme
••• leg say to the left leg? •••
Q. How does a blonde part 5 A. Nothing, they haven’t met! Q. Why is a blonde like a
their hair? ••• doorknob 17 ?
A. By doing the splits 6 . Q. Why is it good to have a A. Because everyone gets a
••• blonde passenger? turn.
Q. Why do blondes wash their A. You get to park in the hand- •••
hair in the sink 7 ? icap zone 13 . Q. What did
A. Because that’s where your ••• the blonde
supposed to wash vegetables. Q. How does a blonde like her say when
••• eggs in the morning? she found
Q. Why did the blonde like the A. Fertilized 14
car with a sunroof 8 ? •••
A. More leg-room! Q. How would a blonde punc-
••• tuate the following: “Fun fun
Q. Why do blondes like tilt fun worry worry worry”
steering 9 ? A. Fun period 15 fun
A. More headroom period fun no pe-
••• riod worry worry
Q. What do you call a dumb worry....
 easy

out she was pregnant? ••• •••

A. “Are you sure it’s mine?” Q. What do you call a blonde Q. What does a blonde say the
••• with 2 brain cells? last two words of the national
Q. Hear about the blonde that A. Pregnant anthem 35 are?
bought an AM radio? ••• A. Play ball 36!
A. It took her a month to fig- Q. What do you do if a blonde •••
ure out she could play it at throws a grenade 26 at you? Q. Why do blondes have
night too. A. Pull the pin and throw it back. bruised belly buttons 37?
••• ••• A. Because they have blond
Q. What do you call 20 blondes Q. What do you call it when a boyfriends
in a freezer? blonde dyes27 her hair brunette? •••
A. Frosted Flakes A. Artificial intelligence 28. Q. What do blondes and beer
••• ••• bottles have in common? Q. What do you
Q. What happened to the Q. How can you tell a blonde A. Their both empty from the
blonde tap 19 dancer? has used your computer? neck up.
call a blond
A. She slipped off and fell down A. There is white out 29 on the ••• with a brain?
the drain 20. screen. Q. How can you tell that a
blonde sent you a fax? A. A golden
A. It has a stamp 38 on it. retriever 41.
•••
Q. Why do blondes always
drink with straws 39? •••
A. Practice. Q. How do you drown42 a blonde?
••• A. Put a scratch ‘n sniff stick-
Q. Why should blondes not be er 43 at the bottom of a pool.
given coffee breaks? •••
A. It takes too long to re- Q. Why are blondes like 7-Elev-
train 40 them. en stores?
A. Open 24 hours a day.
•••
Q. What’s the difference be-
tween a group of blondes and
a good magician 44?
A. The magician
hasa cunning 45
array 46 of
stunts 47.

••• •••
Q. What did the blonde say Q. Why did the blonde
when she saw the banana throw bread c r u m b s 31
peel 23 on the floor? down the toilet?
A. Oh no, I’m going to fall again! A. To feed 32 the toilet duck!
••• •••
Q. What do smart blondes and Q. What do you call a blonde in
UFO’s 24 have in common 25? the closet 33?
A. You always hear about them A. The 1984 hide and go
but never see them. seek 34 champion.
*brown bagging it To conceal an alcoholic beverage in a brown paper bag. This
is done to “legally” drink alcohol in public. Joe was brown bagging it again yes-
terday afternoon at the park.
1
mating [`meItIN] спаривание, случка летающий объект, НЛО
2
ditch [dIC] канава 25
to have in common [`kOmqn] связывать
3
interpreter [In`tWprItq] устный переводчик 26
grenade [grq`neId] граната
4
to spread [spred] размазывать; намазывать; расстилаться 27
to dye one’s hair [daI] красить волосы
5
to part [pRt] расчёсывать, делать пробор 28
artificial intelligence искусственный интеллект
6
to do the splits [splIts] сесть на шпагат 29
white(-)out [`(h)waItaut] замазанная корректором опечатка
7
sink [sINk] раковина 30
moustache [mq`stRS] усы
8
sunroof [`sAnrHf] люк в крыше автомобиля 31
bread crumbs [krAm] хлебные крошки
9
tilt steering [tIlt`stIqrIN] регулируемость по углу наклона 32
to feed [fJd] кормить
10
hostage [`hOstIG] заложник 33
closet [`klOzIt] гардеробная; встроенный шкаф для одежды
11
steering wheel [`stIqrIN"wJl] руль 34
hide-and-(go-)seek [`haIdqnd(gqu)`sJk] (игра в) прятки
12
airbag [`Fqbxg] подушка безопасности 35
national anthem [`xnTqm] государственный гимн
13
handicap zone [`hxndIkxp] участок для инвалидов 36
to play ball (with smb.) сотрудничать; действовать честно
14
fertilized [`fWtIlaIzd] оплодотворённый 37
belly button [`belI`bAtn] пуп(ок)
15
period [`pIqrIqd] точка (знак препинания) 38
stamp [stxmp] штемпель, печать; (почтовая) марка
16
nursery rhymes [`nWs(q)rI"raImz] детские стишки; прибаутки 39
straw [strL] соломинка
17
doorknob [`dLnPb] круглая дверная ручка 40
to retrain ["rJ`treIn] проходить переподготовку
18
witch [wIC] колдунья; ведьма 41
golden retriever [`gquldqnrI`trJvq] золотистый ретривер (порода охотничьих собак)
19
tap [txp] кран; чечетка 42
to drown [draun] топить
20
drain [dreIn] водосток, труба 43
scratch and sniff sticker наклейка «потри и понюхай»
21
can [kxn] банка 44
magician [mq`GIS(q)n] волшебник
22
concentrate [`kOn(t)s(q)ntreIt] концентрат; сосредоточиваться 45
cunning [`kAnIN] хитрый; изящный, очаровательный
23
peel [pJl] кожица, корка 46
array [q`reI] набор, комплект
24
UFO ["jHef`qu] = unidentified flying object неопознанный 47
stunt [stAnt] трюк, фокус, штука

www.english4u.com.ua 31

assandra always had
Ñ a very complicated pri-
vate life. Like, incredi-
bly complicated. We’re
talking about the sort
of relationship twists
that would make an episode of
Dallas look straightforward. All
of which was a million miles
away from my personal life, I
might add. I am Ms Sensible2 to
Cassandra’s Femme Fatale3 of
Upper Posset.
That’s where we both come
from, by the way. Upper Posset.
A small town, no, make that a
village, in Surrey, so small that
it’s not really on the map. But if
it ever does get on the map, it’ll
be because of Cassandra.
We met as gangly4 five-year-
old and Cassandra was a seri-
ous contender5 for the Miss
Cassandra
Pears’ Soap contest. Blonde
ringlets6, blue eyes the col-
our of holiday-brochure swim-
ming pools, and endearing7
dimples8. Naturally, she’s lost
the ringlets now and has gone
for the sort of sleek crop9 with
razored edges that you see in
the trendier hairdressing maga-
zines. She gets it cut in Trevor
Sorbie and, needless to say,
she doesn’t have to wait three
months for an appointment, ei-
ther. Cassandra keeps telling
me I should do something dif-
ferent with my hair, which is ex-
actly the same as it was when
we first met twenty-three years
ago, but I’ve got used to having
it long and loose. I’m not cut out
to be chic and, besides, long
hair hides a multitude of sins.
‘Molly, curls are no nineties,’
Cassandra says, trying to be
helpful. ‘The bed-head look
would be so you. Look what it’s
done for Drew Barrymore.’
Personally, I can’t see me in
the bed-head – you know, the
short, messy, just-out-from-un-
der-the-duvet10 look. You need
cheekbones11 and blow-job lips
to carry that off. I’d just look as
if I’d spent the night sleeping
in a cardboard box in a C & A
doorway. Cassandra could wear
it, though. She’s stunning12.
Doesn’t need to wear make-up,
although she loves MAC and
looks totally amazing when she
does that heavy kohl13 thing
which makes her resemble a
Vogue cover girl when the Mille-
32
by Cathy Kelly
nium/Barbarella vibe14 was hot.
So where was I? Oh yeah, the
reason I’m telling you this story.
You see, it was Cassandra’s
personal life that got me into
this mess in the first place. Cas-
sandra and a man, to be exact.
She was always the one with
more boyfriends than you could
shake a stick at*.
During our college years, she
had a string of besotted15 men
hanging around her. I know, it’s
weird that we went to the same
college but I had my heart set on
journalism in Cardiff and when
Cassandra thought about it, she
decided not to bother applying
for that drama course and went
for journalism too. I was a bit
surprised because she’d never
been too keen on writing but you
see, Cassandra is so good with
people that she’s a natural at
journalism. She’s got that charm
thing. People just like her and
want to talk to her. Being glam-
orous and wearing sexy clothes
helps, or so my mother says a
bit snidely16. (Mum and Cas-
sandra have never seen eye to
eye17. They haven’t talked since
Cassandra ended up going to
our graduation dance with Ted.
He’d been my date originally
but there’d been a bit of mix-
up and I was quite happy go-
ing with Cassandra’s younger
brother Mitch, who was good
fun when he wasn’t bitching
about 18 his sister.)
She and I shared a flat in
college and spent lots of time
medium
working on assignments19 to-
gether. Cassandra is very clev-
She likes to be a free spirit:
‘Can’t stand long-term rela-
er but she loved talking to me tionships,’ she always said,
about my opinion. She’s got an usually after she had to dump
incredible mind, really. some guy who’d been getting
That time we had to write an annoying. It was incredible
in-depth20 piece about the UN the way men became so bor-
and she’d been too hungover21 ing once they’d gone out with
to do much research in the li- Cassandra for a few weeks.
brary, well, all I had to do was She loved partying and they
sketch in the briefest idea of couldn’t always keep up, es-
the whole thing and she went pecially close to exam time.
Cathy Kelly Biography
A former journalist, Cathy was born in Belfast, brought
up in Dublin, and says she always wanted to write novels.
After a career as a feature writer, agony aunt1 and film
critic, she began to write her first novel, Woman To Woman,
on her dining room table at nights and weekends.
It was published in 1997, became a number one best-
seller, and launched her career as a best-selling novelist.
She followed her first novel up with the equally-successful
She’s The One, Never Too Late, Someone Like You, What
She Wants, Just Between Us and Best of Friends.
Her seven novels have been translated into many languag-
es and sold worldwide. She now writes full time and lives in
Co Wicklow, Ireland, with her partner and their twin sons.
on to get an A+ for it. The tutor ‘God, they’re so thick 23 ’, she
loved my point about how giv- groaned one December night
ing humanitarian aid made the when she was racing out to an
wealthy West feel better about Arts student bash 24 and I was
itself, although he said it was planning to stay home study-
a bit derivative22 and sounded ing. ‘Can I borrow your notes
as if I was using other people’s tomorrow?’ she asked, heavily
ideas. Men were a problem for mascara’d eyes on the mirror
both of us during those won- as she adjusted the straps on
derful student days. Well, they her Wonderbra. ‘It’s our duty
were a problem for me because to show these brain-dead
I never had one, while Cassan- males how clever we are and
dra’s problem was getting rid of how we don’t have to spend
them when she was bored. the entire month at home por-
 medium
ing over the books 25 .’
There was a bit of trouble
when three of her exes joined
forces and sent this horrible
note around campus about her,
saying she was a one-woman
demolition squad26 who ate
men for breakfast, or something
nasty like that. It was terrible.
I’d thought they’d been lovely
guys, particularly Steve, whom
I’d sort of fancied myself until
he clapped eyes on Cassandra.
That was the one negative thing
about being best friends with
Cassandra: once a guy saw
her, I hadn’t a chance. Not that I
minded, or anything. Cassandra
was special, as her dad used to
tell her all the time. We couldn’t
all be like that.
‘Beauty’s a curse27, Molly,’
she insisted. ‘Everybody wants
a piece of you. They don’t treat
you like a person but like a
beautiful object. You’re lucky
not to have this problem, you
don’t know how I envy you.’
She was right, poor love. Eve-
rybody did want a piece of her.
I tried to help out when I could.
One time, I had to keep her cur-
rent boyfriend in the kitchen so
she could sneak an old flame28
out of the bedroom. Which is,
incidentally, a bit like what’s just
happened.
I’m deputy features editor on
Your Kind of Woman (YKOW)
which is a middle-of- the-
road29 women’s magazine.
We both started working there
on a college work placement
scheme. I’d actually applied for
a job on YKOW and Cassandra
had applied for a job on the In-
dependent. When she didn’t get
in there, it was sheer30 coinci-
dence that they had a second
student vacancy in YKOW. We
both stayed a year and nobody
was more amazed than me
when I was offered a full-time
job. I mean, me, not Cassan-
dra. Startled and thrilled, I did
once pluck up the courage31
to ask Madeleine, the editor,
why they’d hired me. I never
really understood her answer:
‘Because we want someone
with originality and talent, who
doesn’t need to rip off32 other
people’s ideas,’ she said.
That’s Cassandra to a T 33 ,
and she’s gorgeous too, which
was always useful in our busi-
ness. Not that I need a brown
paper bag over my head at all
times, but I’m not a patch 34 on
Cassandra with her feline 35
beauty.
‘Mol, you’re one of a kind;
www.english4u.com.ua
quirky36, fun … er, and you’ve
got a great personality,’ she
says to me when I’m feel-
ing insecure about my looks.
That was the nice thing about
Cassandra, I always thought.
She’s truly beautiful but she
never made me feel insecure.
Instead, she bolstered37 my
confidence and used to help
me buy clothes. I’m hopeless
at fashion and she’s like Rachel
from Friends: clothes are her
hobby and Elle is her bible.
She had a positive fetish about
making me wear fleecy38 tops.
Dunno why – she never wears
them herself. Prefers stuff from
Morgan. But Cassandra reck-
ons I’m a fleecy-top-and-denim
sort of girl. We make an odd
combination: her in head-to-toe
second-skin garments39 with
Gucci shoes (her father does
spoil her with an allowance40),
me in baggy stuff that wouldn’t
look out of place down on the
farm. In our flat – didn’t I men-
tion that? We were still sharing,
this time in a two-bedroomed
shoe-box in Clapham – Cassan-
dra had to have the bigger bed-
room so she’d have somewhere
for her tow clothes rails. Every
penny of her wages went on
clothes and there were weeks
when I don’t know how we paid
the rent because she’d blown
her cheque on ‘an adorable pair
of boots, Moll. I simply had to
have them!’
She used to march into my of-
fice – I always felt bad that I had
a tiny office with a window and
she was stuck out in the free-
lance Siberia where everyone
shared desks in that horrible
hot-desking system – and beg
me to borrow the fashion edi-
tor’s Karen Millen discount card
for her. (She and the fashion
editor had this hate:hate thing
going on, so she couldn’t pos-
sibly ask herself.) Even though
I felt guilty about going behind
the fashion ed’s back, I could
never say no. Cassandra looked
perfect in Karen Millen. Nobody
could wear those cobwebby41,
beaded dresses like she did.
She was wearing one at the
magazine’s birthday party when
she met the publisher, Tony Mi-
lano, which was where the trou-
ble started. Tony’s in his forties
and isn’t bad-looking, in an Ital-
ian wide-boy42 sort of way. Not
Cassandra’s type, mind you.
But she fell for him big time.
I don’t see the attraction
myself. Tony may have three
homes, four sports cars and
several offshore accounts, but
he also had three chins and no
sense of style. Of yeah, and a
wife. That was the real problem.
Cassandra didn’t see it as much
of a problem, but I did. Still,
there’s no talking to her when
she’s in love. I didn’t think she
was in love to be honest, but
once Tony had whisked43 her
off to St Lucia for a week and
given her a Rolex, well, she nev-
er stopped talking about him.
(That was only a month after
the party. Normally when people
say Tony’s fast worker44, I think
they’re referring to his prow-
ess45 as a businessman.)
‘He says I’m not to wear
the Rolex to the office,’ she
swooned46 in our messy sit-
ting room, trying on lots of dif-
ferent outfits to see which ones
had the shortest sleeves and
would therefore reveal the most
expanse47 of slender, tanned,
Rolex-encrusted wrist. ‘But no-
body will notice, will they, Moll?’
I said that I thought they
might but Cassandra was deter-
mined to have her own way and
anyway, I was busy trying to
organize an interview with Neil
Morten, this gorgeous young
rock musician who’d just been
on the cover of Q, so I left her
alone. Big mistake.
Two weeks after Cassandra
had got the Rolex, the edi-
1
agony aunt/uncle журналист-”психотерапевт”, ведущая
2
sensible [`sen(t)sIbl]
3
femme fatale ["fxmfq`tRl]
4
gangly [`gxNglI]
5
contender [kqn`tendq]
6
ringlet [`rINlIt]
7
endearing [In`dIqrIN]
8
dimple [`dImpl]
9
crop [krOp]
10
duvet [`djHveI]
11
cheekbone [`CJkbqun]
12
stunning [`stAnIN]
13
kohl [kqul]
14
vibe [vaIb]
15
besotted [bI`sOtId]
16
snidely [snaIdlI] злобно; ехидно
17
to see eye to eye (with smb.) найти общий язык, договориться
18
to bitch about [bIC]
19
assignment [q`saInmqnt]
20
in-depth ["In`depT]
21
hung over ["hAN`quvq]
22
derivative [dI`rIvqtIv]
23
thick [TIk]
24
bash [bxS]
25
to pore over books [pL]
26
demolition squad ["demq`lIS(q)n `skwOd]
27
curse [kWs]
28
my old flame [fleIm]
29
middle-of-the-road ["mIdlqvDq`rqud]
30
sheer [SIq]
31
to pluck up one’s courage [plAk]
32
to rip off [rIp]
33
to a T [tJ]
34
to be not a patch on smth. [pxC]
35
feline [`fJlaIn]
36
quirky [`kwWkI]
37
to bolster [`bqulstq]
38
fleecy [`flJsI]
39
garments [`gRmqnts]
tor called me into her office at
lunchtime and launched48 into
this speech about how I was a
talented journalist but as naïve
as hell and needed to cop on**
pronto49 or I’d end up in serious
trouble thanks to that ‘scheming
bitch of a friend of yours. Who
isn’t much of a friend, if you re-
ally want to know,’ Madeleine
finished up.
I goggled at50 her. ‘You mean
Cassandra?’ I said, startled.
‘Jesus, Molly, will you ever
wake up?’ screamed Madeleine.
‘Of course I mean Cassandra.
She rides around on your coat-
tails51, steals all your ideas,
does her best to get your job
when your back is turned and is
now ruining your career thanks
to her affair with the publisher.’
I goggled a bit more. I want-
ed to get her to explain but I
couldn’t, could I? I mean, Cas-
sandra was my best friend.
She’d been my best friend for
years, since we’d been five.
She cared of me and we’d done
everything together. It was my
job to stand up for her, like I’d
been doing for years. I couldn’t
stop now.
‘I think that’s most unfair,
Madeleine,’ I said pointedly.
‘She’s my best friend and I can’t
listen to you say terrible things
about her – ’
‘Have it your way,’ Madeleine
рубрики “Agony column” (дающая
советы, как себя вести в той или
иной жизненной ситуации)
благоразумный, здравомыслящий
роковая женщина
долговязый, неуклюжий
соперник; претендент, кандидат
локон
подкупающий
ямочка (на щеке, подбородке)
стрижка
пуховое одеяло
скула
сногсшибательный; великолепный
краска для век
флюиды; атмосфера; настроение
ослеплённый, влюблённый до безумия
жаловаться, ворчать
задание
исчерпывающий, доскональный
с похмелья
производный, вторичный
(coll.) глупый, тупой, непрошибаемый
(Amer., coll.) гулянка, весёлое сборище
корпеть над книгами
команда подрывников
проклятие; беда, напасть; мучение
моя старая любовь
обычный, заурядный; попсовый
абсолютный, полнейший, явный
собирать все свое мужество
воровать, красть
идеально, точь-в-точь; как раз
не идти ни в какое сравнение
с чем-л. или кем-л
кошачий
странный, необычный, причудливый
поддерживать, помогать
шерстяной; ворсистый, пушистый
одежда
33

interrupted wearily and went
back to her cottage cheese and
crispbread. Everyone in the
magazine was always on a diet
except me. I am ‘sickeningly
thin’, as Cassandra put it, and
can consume52 vast quantities
of just about anything I like and
not put on weight.
I went home early because I
felt unsettled and also because
the next day I was bringing Neil
Morten to The Ivy for lunch to
interview him and I wanted to be
prepared. I mean, I know it was
a bit daft 53 to bother putting on
fake tan and applying all-night
conditioner just for an interview
with a guy who is so devastat-
ingly handsome he could prob-
ably date all the current Miss
World hopefuls. But you know,
a girl can dream. I’d invested
in this soft-as-kitten-fur vermil-
lion cashmere cardigan that
made my hair look dark and
lustrous 54, and even give me
a bit of cleavage 55 because it
was so clingy. But when I went
looking for it the next morning,
the cardigan had disappeared
from my drawer, along with my
new feather necklace and the
gel-filled bra which was the
only item of lingerie 56 I’d ever
owned that made me look big-
ger than a 32A.
‘Sorry, Moll, knew you
wouldn’t mind me whipping 57
these,’ went the note scrawled
in Cassandra’s trademark gold
handwriting. I did mind but
there was no point crying over
spilt milk. It’d have to be my
boring old black suit. Again. I
tried not to think about Cas-
sandra as I sat in the taxi on
the way to The Ivy. It was un-
canny 58 how people had loved
her to bits in college and how
everyone at work disliked her.
Well, not everybody liked her
in college, but most people did,
surely? So why did Madeleine
and the fashion editor and, ac-
tually, most of the rest of the
YKOW staff loathe 59 her and
slam their office doors when
she strode 60 along the corri-
dors in the mood to chat? And
what exactly had Madeleine
been trying to warn me about?
Neil Morten was just as gor-
geous as he looked on the
cover of both Q and his new
album. Tall, lanky61, with straw-
coloured hair, blonde stubble62,
greeny-grey eyes like Pernod***
with water added, and this
sweet, almost anxious63 smile
that lit up his face. In the flesh,
34
he was even better than I’d ex-
pected and we just … well, this
is going to sound stupid, but we
got on64 like a house on fire.
Most of the time you interview
famous people and they talk to
you as if you’re a tape recorder
without a real person attached.
They emote65, get all their
charming little anecdotes out,
tell you how much they loved
working on the album/movie/
soap show and then they’re
gone. You’re a part of the proc-
ess and they don’t really notice
you as a member of the same
species, never mind as a proper
human being. But Neil talked to
me as if we were on a date and
as if he’d seriously consider go-
ing out with me. He was funny,
charming and very normal. By
dessert, we were finishing each
other’s sentences and talking
so fast we were running out of
breath. The interview hadn’t
even happened. It was simply
two people talking nineteen to
the dozen66, laughing and smil-
ing, falling in love, practically. I
was, anyway. Falling in love.
He had this spiky67 blond hair
that stood up but one bit defied
the gel and drooped over his left
eye. I had to stop myself from
leaning over the table and push-
ing it back tenderly. Did you ever
feel like that about someone:
that you can’t help wanting to
touch them? He must have felt
the same, I thought ecstatically,
because he stroked my hand
across the pristine68 tablecloth
with his long, guitar-player’s
fingers. We’d gone through a
bottle of wine and four brandies
and were thinking about wan-
dering off to a little pub some-
where to actually do some inter-
view when it happened.
This blonde woman marched
into the restaurant and, after
a consultation with the maître
d’69, marched over to our table.
She looked vaguely familiar and
because she was one of those
elegant women who shop in
Jaeger and have diamond rings
the size of gobstoppers70, I
assumed she was somebody
semi-famous whom I had writ-
ten about in our gossip pages.
‘Are you Molly O’Rourke?’
she said between clenched,
beautifully-polished teeth.
Despite having the best part
of three glasses of wine and two
giant brandies inside me, I in-
stinctively knew something was
wrong. So did Neil. He leaned to-
wards me protectively, but wasn’t
fast enough for Ms Jaeger.
medium
‘You bitch!’ she howled. simultaneously – ‘talked to me
‘You’ve been having an affair about firing you to give Cassan-
with my husband and you don’t dra your job. She’s using him to
even have the shame to pretend crawl up the career ladder77 and
to be someone else when you she doesn’t care who she walks
ring up. I’ll see you out of your over to get to the top, including
job, you cow! The magazine be- you, Molly. I’m sorry. I know you
longs to me, not to Tony Milano. think she’s your friend, but she
And he’s out on his ear71, too!’ isn’t. She’s also wrong about
With that, Mrs Milano leaned Tony. His wife’s family own the
over and belted72 me. Thank magazines and without her, he’s
God she got me with the hand got nothing. I can’t imagine how
without the diamond rings or I’d she thought Tony was having an
be in serious trouble, I can tell affair with you, though.’
you. Not that black eye isn’t seri-
ous trouble, but it’s marginally73 Neil was in the kitchen drain-
better than having your eyebrow ing pasta when Cassandra
painfully removed by a massive walked in, wearing my new
diamond with no anaesthetic. cashmere cardigan and with a
Luckily, the maître d’ calmly es- self-satisfied expression on her
corted her out before she could beautiful face. She got a fit78
black the other eye and before of giggles79 when she saw me
Neil could throw our untouched with my rapidly blackening eye.
glasses of water over her. He ‘You poor thing,’ she said, stuff-
was white with rage. ing a tissue into her mouth to
‘It’s Cassandra,’ I managed to stop herself laughing. She did a
say in shock. ‘My flatmate Cas- double take80 when Neil came
sandra is having an affair and it out of the kitchen with the pas-
must be with that woman’s hus- ta in one hand. He really was
band. Mrs Milano.’ I shook my amazing-looking, and famous
head in bewilderment74. ‘I can’t too. Cassandra’s expression
imagine why she thought it was changed in deference81 to both
me.’ his fame and his gorgeousness.
With Neil hugging me and Off went her giggly face and on
petting my battered75 face, went the Athena the Huntress82
we made it home to my apart- expression she adopts when
ment, where he put ice on my she sees a man she likes: her
eye and fed me hot chocolate mouth curves up into this wick-
all afternoon. I explained a bit ed smile and her eyes glint with
about Cassandra and Neil be- an arch look that says, ‘You’d
came quite grim the more I ex- never believe how sexy I am,
plained. It did make sense of much sexier than the lump of a
what Madeleine had been try- girl you’re now with.’ It always
ing to tell me. And when I rang worked. Until this occasion. Neil
Madeleine she explained in didn’t look impressed.
greater detail. In fact, he looked angry and
‘Tony Milano’ – she said his contemptuous83.
name as if she was spitting76 ‘Molly, has a black eye be-
40
allowance [q`lauqn(t)s] карманные деньги
41
cobwebby [`kObwebI] похожий на паутину
42
wide boy прохиндей, ушлый
43
to whisk off [(h)wIsk] быстро увозить
44
fast worker своего не упустит, шустрый малый
45
prowess [`prauIs, `praues] искусство, мастерство, умение
46
to swoon [swHn] потерять голову, впадать в экстаз
47
expanse [Ik`spxn(t)s] простор, (широкое) пространство
48
to launch into [lLnC] энергично браться, бросаться, пускаться
49
pronto [`prOntqu] быстро, немедленно
50
to goggle at [`gOgl] таращить глаза на, смотреть широко
раскрытыми глазами
51
to ride on smb.’s coat-tails [`kqutteIl] добиться (незаслуженного) успеха с помощью
лиятельного лица
52
to consume [kqn`sjHm] съедать, поглощать (о еде)
53
daft [dRft] глупый; бессмысленный, идиотский
(о поступке, действии)
54
lustrous [lAstrqs] блестящий, яркий
55
cleavage [`klJvIG] ложбинка в груди
56
lingerie [`lxnZ(q)rI] дамское бельё
57
to whip [(h)wIp] (Br., coll.) стащить, украсть
58
uncanny [An`kxnI] сверхъестественный, необъяснимый
59
to loathe [lquD] не выносить; ненавидеть
60
to stride [straId] шагать (большими шагами)
61
lanky [`lxNkI] долговязый; худой и тощий
62
stubble [`stAbl] щетина
63
anxious [`xN(k)Sqs] тревожный
64
to get on ладить
65
to emote [I`mqut] вести себя подчёркнуто эмоционально;
проявлять эмоции, чувства
66
to talk nineteen to the dozen говорить без умолку, без конца, трещать
 medium
cause your lover’s wife hit her
in The Ivy.’
‘I rather thought she’d been
hit in the eye,’ quipped84 Cas-
sandra, obviously wrong-footed
about the way this conversation
was going. Under normal cir-
cumstances, the object of her
affection would be gazing misti-
ly at her, not staring harshly and
being nasty.
‘Why do you think this man’s
wife thought Molly was having
an affair with him?’ Neil asked
coldly.
Cassandra tittered85, a sound
which had never sounded irritat-
ing to me until the precise mo-
ment. ‘It’s silly,’ she said, turn-
ing to me. ‘Sorry, old thing, but
when I rang his house looking
for Tony and he wasn’t there, I
said I was you.’ She must have
noticed my eyes widen so she
rushed on. ‘Their housekeeper
is some stupid Puerto Rican or
something and she can barely
speak English, so I didn’t think
it’d matter. It was like our code.
You do understand, Moll, don’t
you?’ she wheedled86.
‘Could it be that this mis-
taken-identity prank87 was part
of a plot to help you get Molly
sacked88 so that you could get
her job?’ Neil asked.
He’s grasped the whole idea
so quickly. No wonder he was
a multi-millionaire songwriter.
Brains as well as beauty.
‘Don’t be silly. That was noth-
ing to do with it,’ Cassandra said
crossly. ‘Tony would give me a
job anytime I wanted. I said I
was Molly because if his wife
www.english4u.com.ua
ever met her, there’s no way
she’d think Tony was seriously
contemplating an affair with her.
She’s far too dull for him. It was
the perfect alibi.’
‘I happened to think Molly’s very
beautiful,’ Neil said softly, looking
at me. ‘I like the natural look as
opposed to the done-up-like-a-
dog’s-dinner look.’ He cast those
Pernod-with-water eyes over
Cassandra in a manner which left
her in no doubt that she was the
dog’s dinner in question.
She quivered indignantly. ‘It
hardly matters any more.’
‘Just one thing, Cassandra,’ I
said, speaking for the first time.
‘I’m afraid you miscalculated
with Tony. He can’t give you a
job. In fact, I daresay he’ll be
looking for the Rolex back when
his wife throws him out. You
see,’ I paused, amazed to find
that I was enjoying this, ‘he’s
not the real boss of the maga-
zine. His wife is. The publishing
empire belongs to her family
and Tony is utterly replaceable.
I’ve told Madeleine the whole
story and she’s told his wife.
Mrs Soon-To-Be-Ex-Milano was
most apologetic about the black
eye. But I rather think you’ve
lost your job. You and Tony can
visit the job centre together.’
Cassandra’s mouth hung
open, given both of us a good
view of her expensive den-
tal work. ‘You’re joking,’ she
gasped. ‘He promised …’
She babbled away to herself
in shock and I looked at her,
wondering how I could have
possibly spent twenty-three
years of my life standing up
for a woman who rode rough-
shod 89 over me in her stilettos.
She stole my men, my ideas,
my self-confidence and had
tried to steal my job. The real
Cassandra was revealed 90 to
me after years of blinding my-
self to her true character. It was
like scales 91 falling from my
eyes, which is how Neil puts
it. The true Cassandra was a
nasty piece of work and it must
have been some flaw 92 in my
own character that kept me in
thrall 93 to her for so long. Per-
haps I needed her in my life for
contrast, a contrast between
the difficult times (the Cassan-
dra years) and the wonderful
years (right now with Neil).
67
spiky [`spaIkI]
68
pristine [`prIstJn]
69
maitre d’ [me(I)trq`dJ]
70
gobstopper [`gOb"stOpq]
71
out on one’s ear вылететь с работы, вышвырнуть с работы/вон
72
to belt smb [belt] сильно ударить
73
marginally [`mRGIn(q)lI]
74
bewilderment [`bI`wIldqmqnt]
75
battered [`bxtqd]
76
to spit [spIt] плеваться
77
ladder [`lxdq]
78
fit [fIt] припадок, приступ
79
giggle [`gIgl]
80
double take замедленная реакция (смотреть с
81
deference [`def(q)r(q)n(t)s] уважение, почтение
82
Athena the Huntress [q`TJnq Dq `hAntrqs] Афина-охотница
83
contemptuous [kqn`temptjuqs]
84
to quip [kwIp]
85
titter [`tItq]
86
to wheedle [`(h)wJdl]
87
prank [prxNk]
88
to sack [sxk] увольнять с работы
89
to ride roughshod over smb. [`rAfSOd]
90
to reveal [rI`vJl]
91
scales [skeIls]
92
flaw [flL] изъян, недостаток (характера)
93
to to hold in thrall [TrLl] удерживать в рабстве
94
trendy [`trendI]
I haven’t seen Cassandra for
months. She keeps phoning me
at work but I don’t return her calls
very often. Not surprisingly, she
got fired from YKOW and she’s
now freelancing for the Tree
Surgeon’s Gazette, desperately
trying to get a foot in the door of
women’s magazine journalism
again. Mind you, Tony Milano’s
wife has put a word out on Cas-
sandra, so it’s doubtful she’ll
ever get another job in our tight-
knit little industry. She’s also
desperate to get invited to our
house. Neil and I are living in a
lovely old townhouse in Islington
and despite having the builders
in all the time, building the re-
cording studio downstairs and
renovating the nursery upstairs
– yes, you’ve guessed it: the
baby’s due in March and Neil is
over the moon – we’re getting a
reputation for throwing wonder-
ful parties. The Daily Mail called
us London’s newest power cou-
ple. That’s because I’ve been
made editor of Uberbabe, the
latest magazine in our publish-
ing empire. Between that and
the parties with the rock-star
guest list, we’re embarrassingly
trendy94. Cassandra is hysteri-
cal to come to one of our par-
ties but Neil refuses to have her
in the house. I do feel sorry for
her. Sort of.
* more than one can shake a
stick at - Idioms - очень много,
уйма, сколько угодно; ≈ конца-
краю не видно
** cop on - Mainly an Irish
slang word, meaning to get
common sense.
*** Pernod - a green-yellow-
ish, anise -flavored liqueur simi-
lar to absinthe.
острый, заострённый, колючий
чистый
метрдотель
“кляп” (твёрдый круглый леденец;
меняет цвет по мере того, как его сосут)
более или менее
смущение; замешательство; недоумение
разбитый, побитый
лестница
хихиканье; смех
любопытством)
презрительный
язвить; делать колкие замечания
хихиканье
подольщаться; обхаживать
проказа, выходка; шутка
тиранить кого-л.; помыкать кем-л.;
совершенно не считаться с кем-л. (или с чем-л.)
открывать; разоблачать
чешуя
сверхсовременный; ультрамодный
35
 Ï одчеркнем, что наш
подход прямо проти-
воположен ведущему
принципу “суггесто-
педии”, с ее упором
на изобилие слов,
предъявляемых учащемуся.
Как известно, в соответствии,
с ее канонами, начинающего
нужно буквально “осыпать
словами”. Лучше всего зада-
вать ему или ей по 200 новых
слов каждые сутки.
Стоит ли сомневаться в
том, что любой нормальный
человек забудет все те мно-
гочисленные слова, которы-
ми его “осыпали” по такой, с
позволения сказать, методе -
и, скорее всего очень скоро,
всего через несколько дней.

Не гнаться за многим
Будет гораздо лучше,
если в конце определенно-
го этапа занятий вы будете

ÑÊÎËÜÊÎ ÑËÎÂ
íóæíî ÇÍÀÒÜ
правильно выбрав от 400
до 800 слов и хорошо их
запомнив, можно уверенно
чувствовать себя в простом
разговоре, поскольку они
Тот факт, что словарь языка содержит примерно 300 тысяч слов, имеет будут покрывать практичес-
только теоретический интерес для начинающего изучать этот язык. Едва ли ки все 100% тех слов, без
не главный принцип для разумной организации своих занятий, особенно на на- которых никак не обойтись.
чальной стадии - это экономия слов. Нужно научиться запоминать как можно Конечно, при других, ме-
меньше слов, но делать это как можно лучше. нее благоприятных услови-
ях 400 слов покроют лишь
знать 500 или 1000 слов Лучше освоить наиболее ло 95% того, что нужно бу- 80% того, что нужно знать
очень хорошо, чем 3000 нужные и важные для вас дет сказать или услышать в - вместо 90 или 100%.
- но плохо. Не позволяйте слова, чем постоянно бро- самой обычной ситуации.
завести себя в тупик педа- саться учить новые. “Тот, Таким образом, правиль- Словарный запас при
гогам, которые будут уве- кто погнался за слишком но выбранный словарный чтении
рять вас, что нужно снача- многим, рискует упустить запас помогает понять до- При чтении, правильно
ла выучить определенное все”, - говорит шведская вольно много при весьма выбрав и хорошо запомнив
количество слов для того, пословица. “За двумя зай- скромных усилиях, потра- около 80 наиболее обыч-
чтобы “войти в курс дела”. цами погонишься - ни одно- ченных на зубрежку. ных, самых частотных слов,
Только вы сами можете и го не поймаешь”, - отвечает Пример: если всего в вы поймете около 50% про-
должны решить, достато- ей русская поговорка. повседневном разговоре стого текста;
чен ли для ваших целей и сказано 1000 слов, то 500 - 200 слов покроют при-
интересов тот запас слов, Словарный запас в уст- из них, то есть 50%, будет мерно 60%;
которым вы овладели. ной речи покрываться 40 самыми - 300 слов - 65%;
Опыт изучения языков Говоря очень прибли- обычными высокочастот- - 400 слов - 70%;
показывает, что около 400 зительно, около 40 пра- ными словами. - 800 слов - примерно
правильно выбранных слов вильно выбранных, высо- Подчеркнем, что эти про- 80%;
могут покрыть до 90 про- кочастотных слов будут центы, разумеется, не яв- - 1500 - 2000 слов - около
центов того словаря, кото- покрывать примерно 50% ляются результатом точных 90%;
рый нужен вам для целей словоупотреблений в пов- вычислений. Они просто - 3000 - 4000 - 95%;
повседневного общения. седневной речи на любом дают самое общее понятие - и 8000 слов покроют
Для того чтобы читать, по- языке; о том, сколько слов при- практически около 99 про-
надобится больше слов, но - 200 слов покроют около мерно понадобится, чтобы центов письменного текста.
многие из них - только пас- 80%; чувствовать себя уверенно, Пример: если перед вами
сивно. Поэтому со знанием - 300 слов - примерно 85%; вступая в простейший диа- лежит текст объемом при-
1500 слов вы сможете уже - 400 слов покроют уже лог с носителем языка. Во близительно 10 тысяч слов
разбираться в достаточно около 90%; всяком случае, не вызыва- (это примерно,40 печатных
содержательных текстах. - ну, а 800-1000 слов - око- ет никакого сомнения, что, страниц), то, заранее вы-

36
учив самые необходимые
400 слов, вы поймете около
7000 слов, которые упот-
реблены в этом тексте.
Заметим снова, что циф-
ры, которые мы даем - лишь
ориентировочные. В зави-
симости от разнообразных
дополнительных условий,
50 слов покроют до 50 про-
центов письменного текста,
зато в других случаях вам
нужно будет выучить не ме-
нее 150 слов, чтобы полу-
чить тот же результат.
Словарный запас: от
400 до 100 000 слов
1. 400 - 500 слов - актив-
ный словарный запас для
владения языком на базо-
вом (пороговом) уровне.
2. 800 -1000 слов - актив-
ный словарный запас для
того, чтобы объясниться;
или пассивный словарный
запас для чтения на базо-
вом уровне.
3. 1500 -2000 слов - ак-
тивный словарный запас,
которого вполне хватит
для того, чтобы обеспечить
повседневное общение в
течение всего дня; или пас-
сивный словарный запас,
достаточный для уверенно-
го чтения.
4. 3000 - 4000 слов - в об-
щем, достаточно для прак-
тически свободного чтения
газет иди литературы по
специальности.
5. Около 8000 слов -
обеспечивают полноцен-
ное общение для среднего
европейца. Практически не
нужно знать больше слов
для того, чтобы свободно
общаться как устно, так и
письменно, а также читать
литературу любого рода.
6. 10 000-20 000 слов -
активный словарный запас
образованного европейца
(на родном языке).
7. 50 000-100 000 слов
- пассивный словарный
запас образованного евро-
пейца (на родном языке).
Нужно отметить, что за-
пас слов сам по себе от-
нюдь еще не обеспечива-
ет свободного общения.
Вместе с тем, овладев
1500 правильно выбранны-
ми словами, при условии
некоторой дополнительной
тренировки вы сможете
общаться практически сво-
бодно.
Что касается профессио-
нальных терминов, то обыч-
но они не представляют осо-
бых затруднений, поскольку
в большинстве случаев это
- интернациональная лек-
сика, которой достаточно
просто овладеть.
Когда вы уже зна-
ете порядка 1500
слов, можно брать-
ся за чтение на достаточно
приличном уровне. С пас-
сивным знанием от 3000 до
4000 слов вы будете сво-
бодно читать литературу по
специальности, по крайней
мере, в тех областях, где вы
уверенно ориентируетесь.
В заключение отметим, что,
согласно подсчетам, прове-
денным лингвистами на ма-
териале целого ряда язы-
ков, среднестатистический
образованный европеец ак-
тивно использует около 20
000 слов (причем половину
из них - Довольно редко).
При этом пассивный сло-
варный запас составляет
по меньшей мере 50 000
слов. Но все это касается
родного языка.
Эрик В. Гуннемарк,
шведский полиглот

В педагогической литературе можно встретить терминологическое

сочетание “основной словарный запас”. С моей точки зрения, на мак-
симальном уровне словарный запас составляет около 8000 слов. Мне
представляется, что учить большее количество слов, кроме как, может
быть, для каких-то особых целей, вряд ли необходимо. Восьми тысяч
слов будет достаточно для полноценного общения в любых условиях.
Приступая к изучению языка, будет разумным
обойтись более короткими списками. Вот три
уровня, которые я на практике определил, как
дающие хороший ориентир начинающему:

(“базовый словарный запас”):

Их достаточно, чтобы покрыть

примерно 90% всех словоупотреблений при
повседневном устном общении или около 70%
процентов несложного письменного текста;

(“минимальный словар
ный запас”, “мини-уровенъ”):
Их достаточно, чтобы пок-
рыть примерно 95% всех словоупотреблений
при повседневном устном общении или око-
ло 80-85% процентов письменного текста;

(“средний словарный запас”, “меди-уровенъ”):

Их достаточно, чтобы покрыть примерно 95-100% всех

словоупотреблений при повседневном устном общении или около 90% про-
центов письменного текста.

Примером добротного словаря основного словарного запаса можно счи-

тать словарь, выпущенный Э. Клеттом в Штутгарте, 1971, под названием
“Grundwortschatz Deutsch” (“Основной словарный фонд немецкого языка”). В нем
дано по 2000 самых необходимых слов на каждом из избранных шести языков:
немецком, английском, французском, испанском, итальянском и русском.

www.english4u.com.ua 37
 medium

PHRASAL VERBS: TO RUN

I Match the two parts of the sentences. I
1. The big ship had to take urgent actions … a. … they cleared of the teacher’s dismissal.
2. You can’t run off now, … b. … this opera has been running from 1875.
3. Feeling ran so high among the students when … c. … better stop and wait for a while.
4. I’m not in the habit of running to the Council with any sug- d. … as they waited to hear about the future of their land.
gestion for improving the town, … e. … just when I need you.
5. The news ran through the village, … f. … to avoid running down the little boat.
6. Do you know that … g. … but this is one I feel you should consider.
7. Don’t run at the angry animals, …

to run at – to move quickly on foot

II Choose the correct answer. in order to take action
The brave woman ran at her attacker
1. It’s no use ______________ the teacher every time the other children behave with a pair of scissors.
badly, she won’t listen to you.
a. running to b. running off c. running at to run down – to knock down and
damage something or wound some-
2. Our dog was very fond of the family, nut had an unfortunate habit one with a vehicle or ship
of ______________ , so we had to spend a lot of money on fences to keep him safe. The poor boy has been run down by
a. running through b. running high c. running off a bus.

3. If you _____________ fence fast enough, you should be able to jump it. to run from – (of a performance,
a. run through b. run at c. run off arrangement, etc) to continue, start-
ing at (a date)
4. Your payments will _____________ the first of the next month. The play ran from 1951 to 1976.
a. run down b. run from c. run high
to run high – to be excited,
powerful
5. Opposition to the government’s action is _______________ among the voter; it
would not seen wise to call an election now. The sales at this auction usually
don’t run high.
a. running through b. running off c. running high
to run off – to escape as from
6. This line of chalky soil ______________ all the gardens in the neighbourhood.
home or duty
a. runs to b. runs down c. runs through Jim and Mary threatened to run off
to get married, if Mary’s father con-
7. The daughter was ________________ by a car just outside their home. tinued refuse his permission for the
a. run down b. run through c. run off wedding.

to run through – to pass through

III Fill in the correct particle or preposition in the following sentences. You’ll see what I mean when you run
1. Interest in the game has been running ___ this year. the film through the machine.
2. The box is crusted; did something run it ___ ?
3. I’ve had this tune running ____ my head. A WORD OF WISDOM
4. My wife has run ___ and left me.
5. Don’t run ____ me until your troubles! Better untaught than ill taught
6. The dog ran ___ the visitor and bit him.
7. The sale will run ____ next Monday.
to run to – to complain to, to ask
for help, advice
Answers She runs to the doctor with every lit-
I. 1) f; 2) e; 3) a; 4) g; 5) d; 6) b; 7) c;
tle pain.
II. 1) a; 2) c; 3) b; 4) b; 5) c; 6) c; 7) a;
III. 1) high; 2) down; 3) through; 4) off; 5) to; 6) at; 7) from;

38
Top 10
R e a s o n s
To Go To Work
N a k e d
1 Your boss is always yelling, “I wanna see
your ass in here by 8:00!”

2 Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to

work on your tan.

3 So that with a little help from Muzak you can

add “Exotic Dancer ” to your exaggerated resume.

4 To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking

down your blouse.

5 People stop stealing your pens after they ’ve seen

where you keep them.

6 Diverts attention from the fact that you also

came to work drunk.

8 You want to see if it’s like the dream.

7 “I’d love to chip in, but I left my

wallet in my pants.”

9 Gives “bad hair day ” a whole new

meaning.

10 No one steals your chair.

# 10
50 states of America Benjamin Franklin - Uncle Sam What is the American
Politician and Scientist Dream?39
Makes Me Wonder
[Verse]
I wake up with blood-shot eyes
Struggled to memorize
The way it felt between your thighs
Pleasure that made you cry
Feels so good to be bad
Not worth the aftermath, after that
After that
Try to get you back
[Bridge]
I still don’t have the reason
And you don’t have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a fuck about you
[Chorus]
Give me something to believe in
Cause I don’t believe in you anymore
Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to try
(Yeah)
So this is goodbye
[Verse]
Got them resting in my head
Decisions that made my bed
Now I must lay in it
And deal with things I left unsaid
I want to dive into you
Forget what you’re going through
I get behind, make your move
Forget about the truth
[Bridge]
I still don’t have the reason
And you don’t have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a fuck about you
[Chorus]
Give me something to believe in
Cause I don’t believe in you anymore
Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference,
It even makes a difference to try
And it’s over, hurt the feeling
But I don’t believe it’s true anymore
Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to cry
(Oh no)
So this is goodbye
[Breakdown]
I’ve been here before
One day a week
And it won’t hurt anymore
You caught me in a lie
I have no alibi
The word is set on how to mean me
Cause
[Bridge]
I still don’t have the reason
And you don’t have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a fuck about you
And I...and so this is goodbye
[Chorus]
Give me something to believe in
Cause I don’t believe in you anymore
Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference,
It even makes a difference to try
And it’s over, hurt the feeling
But I don’t believe it’s true anymore
Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to cry
(Oh no)
So this is goodbye
So this is goodbye, yeah [x3]
(Oh no)
41