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What is love?

We are energy and light in a container


temporary called the human body.
Since always, even before our conception, love has determined what we are, if we run with
luck we receive a large dose of this deadly element at the moment of our conception, and
during our pregnancy and childhood the quantity and quality of this raw material is going to
be determinant for our development until our death and beyond. But what is love?

A principle of physics is that matter is transformed and that every form of energy is matter.
Light is matter at high speed, thought is matter, our millions of neurons are organizing to take
a little of each of its particles and create a new thought, the stimuli that unleash it are multiple
and are determined by the environment of each neuron, that is; for the whole. When these
stimuli are born of our hormones a new form of particles arises that is the sexual energy, this
involves not only the neurons, it involves each of our cells and their genetic inheritance,
hence the first attraction to the other. As long as it continues to stimulate the neurons and
other cells this process that we call infatuation will increase. There is another form of
important matter involved in all these stimuli that is the sound and if it is through music and
soft words by the sea, what can I tell you! For those who still believe that sound is wave, they
will soon discover that the wave is matter. The energy of light, sound and thought can behave
as a wave or as a particle.
Then we could define in a first stage that falling in love is born from our genetic need of
mating for the perpetuation of our species. Hormonal over-stimulation is never greater than
12 months, while it is time genetically programmed to conceive. This conception of falling in
love does not rule out falling in love between the same sex, because the hormonal and total
stimulation of the body is the same even though conception is not possible, so we can affirm
that falling in love never transits the path of logic or reason, until here love is blind and
primitive.

Imagine everything that is involved when we have a sexual relationship. Do you have any idea
of the amount of energy exchange that occurs? With what information of that person are we
staying in our energy field? That other matter-particle-energy is inside our body just as your
senses perceive it; imagine each of your particles interacting as light with the light of another
being. Pieces of you are staying in that other being and you keep something of yours, which is
now part of you forever. So we should be more aware with whom we share and the reasons
for doing so, I suppose.

Couples who did not take advantage of these first months to build a relationship that was not
based on sex cannot survive this stage, because all this process that we discussed previously
will start again and almost always with a third person, because the animal part is there always
present, so only those who made commitments that appeal to conscience, such as guilt, a son
or daughter, a social commitment, conviction about the relationship or militancy in the other,
may remain with their partner and those who do not , they will see their idyll finished and
they will begin the mating ritual with another human or they will regret a time.

After these 12 months the couples that stay together will do so under two basic premises; for
interest or conviction. Those who remain motivated by interest are as many and as different
as money, power, children, comfort, maintenance, security and even custom, are
relationships that follow established canons, involves self-sacrifice and of these couples is not
worth taking care of. I would recommend never staying with someone who does not respect
you for more love than you think you feel for him or for her, it is always better to leave with a
broken heart but with self-love and whole dignity.

Those who remain in their relationships out of conviction are the interesting ones, because
this is where the love of a couple begins. It is a conscious process of permanent construction
motivated by the well-being of the other; Here love is not blind, it becomes a love with eyes
wide open, where we see all the defects of the other or the other and still want to share life
with him or her, this is where loving becomes an act of courage, resistance to build a
relationship that has nothing to do with the established, because each relationship
revolutionizes and evolves; it acquires a form of its own where our utopia goes from seeing
young people building a life together, to the silhouette of two women or two men, a white boy
and a black girl, a sweeper and a lawyer or a young writer and an old photographer walking
hand in hand on the beach, the mountain, the park or the market. Here no princes or
princesses fit, it is a state where it does not matter how many couples we could find on earth
and we began to wonder how much land there is for this couple, how much sea, how many
mountains and we started to walk together shoulder to shoulder without losing the identity.
But not all love is enough to share your life with someone; the only thing that makes you stay
is respect.
Do not do, do not think and feel for the other, it would be my best definition of respect.
When in a relationship we begin to do what we have to do to the other we disrespect, if we
clean, cook or work for the other we create power structures that harm us, if there is an
explicit agreement of coexistence where temporary roles are established is feasible, but any
permanent role situation is submission. When in a relationship we begin to presuppose what
the other thinks, we alter a basic agreement of coexistence and damage self-esteem, it is
necessary to verbalize everything, if we want to know what the other thinks it is better to ask,
even in sex it is always better Know explicitly what is it that you like or do not like the other
or the other. When we begin to pretend to feel for the other, with expressions like "you do
not love me anymore" we begin to lose our self-love, it is always better to say what we feel and
get the couple to say what they feel.

There is no right way to love, love is wrong. Each human being forges his way of loving the
other or the other, even oneself as another. There is no minimum possibility of loving "equal"
because love emerges from individuals; only mothers try to cheat by saying that they love all
children equally, when we all know that it is not true, there is always "the spoiled one" and if
there are sons and daughters the spoiled one will always be a boy. Do not worry, this has
nothing to do with love, it is a genetic condition that I explain a bit in the article "How much
is an egg", in essence it has to do with the perpetuation of genes, so the unconditionally in the
Only mothers are given to a specific child, never a daughter and never in both directions. For
those who are only daughters or who only have sisters, they will have noticed a strange
preference on the part of the mother to a boyfriend or son-in-law, this is due to the same
condition that emerges from the genes and that projects in an alpha male its possibility of
perpetuity.

In any case the first possibility of an eternal and well-matched love is always at hand and is to
love us. After trying to love everything we do, doing only what we love, surely living this way,
our material will find harmonic compatibility with another matter that with a little patience
and a lot of determination will come, and if it has arrived, do not forget that you should
cultivate and to respect that love, to procure it every day, because like any living being if it
does not feel the light, it does not drink and it feeds, it dies.

Everything we do around love the universe appreciates it and it is not by a philosophical


perception but by a physical one, all the particles emanating from love are transformed into a
new matter that will be part of another being and what matter would not want to be formed of
particles of love? Never forget that we are light and energy within a temporary container
called body.

Nothing is lost; today, the evening is news.


February 14, 2019

Life is a conscious construction.

Iván Uranga
iuranga@theguardian.com