Salomat Vafo

Uzbekistan

9/1
(short story)

“They say: love is an airy name,

They say: love is a green hope, it’s not true.
The star of luck is not in the sky, it lives in my heart,
They say: height has so many tops, it’s not true.”
Jalaliddin Rumi

My eyes enlarged, a strange bustle covered all of my body. Unknown

pleasant tunes. I felt warmth, as if the entire world was passing through my each
cell with its grief and disaster. I thought I was flying. Those sacred looks spread
around me... At last I heavily fell to the ground, I waited to hear how my bones
were breaking into pieces. Nothing was heard. I was surprised. I was absolutely
safe and sound, as if I fell down to a cotton bed from the seventh floor. It was
midnight, stars were shining in the sky, the world was like a child sleeping
quietly in mother’s bosom. Multistoried apartment houses over my head shone
like a chest of hercules that was tired of wrestling. This idea reminded me of my
favorite hero – Sultonbek! I fell in love with this man. What shall I do now –
who needs a woman fallen to the ground and broken into pieces. Oh, the God did
not like this love of mine which was like an overflowing river. He reminded me
it was a wrong way. Oh, my God, you have known me very well, after all. In
exchange for my poor love I did not want him to do anything, I even did not tell
him about my feelings. I only asked, would a man whom I liked respect and
love me, too. In the world, where nothing is permitted until you go to grave, the
right to love someone – was this given to women, oh God? For me, I do not
have any other supporter apart from this feeling. On the contrary, it was difficult

© Translated by Azam Abidov - 2007 1

and painful for me not to say about my feeling to that person, Sultonbek (is there
any other name in the world more beautiful and more powerful than this one).
(Would something change if he knew about it?) Eh, these high buildings and
those mountains that gleamed black in the distance were like earth and soil to
my heart... I felt hurt in my heart that with my tiny soul and with my vital hope I
lived in this city where under the sky two or three million of people exist (does it
matter?) and where the sun rose every morning and the moon shined every night.
Besides, I was absolutely alone in this world. Not a long ago, I got into trouble –
my mother died. This small woman who lived at the world’s end was a great
support in my life.
Having left my thoughts, again I returned to my body lying on the earth. It
was a full moon night and there was not any other sound, except envious sounds
of aggressive dogs and cats who wallowed in garbage. My heart beat quietly, I
felt no fear. I gradually came to my senses and began to think. Yet I was not in
my right mind, as if still something would happen – I was lying without stirring.
I had two suppositions in my mind, if I really fell from the eighth floor – it
is unbelievable that I am still alive, the second idea – if being sleepy, I went out
(I am a sleep-walker), then why am I lying here? Grievous and pleasant suffering
that upset my whole world also was the reason for my present condition.
Last days I lost my rest, sometimes at night, though my eyes were closed,
but half-asleep, I thought about him. It was painful for me to think about his
oblique face and smile and how he was happy with his own family. Sometimes I
deliberately thought about this to hurt myself or to weep and break my heart. I
found pleasure in my grief.
In my present situation, to know why I am lying here, I had to stand up. I
was aftaid of doing this, as I did not know if my hand or leg were cut off. A
strange cold wind was blowing, I was shivering with cold and found that I was
in my evening dress. This silky evening dress of mine was puffed up like a
peapock and it looked like a dangerous object in this silent imagination. I had a
strong wish to stand up from inside and got up.

© Translated by Azam Abidov - 2007 2

 Thanks God! I was safe and sound. Nothing happened, and I felt better. I
raised my head and in the darkness I looked at the seventh floor of the
multistorey house. I saw nothing but a window from where a black light came.
No light was seen in the whole building, as if all lodgers left it. Maybe it is not
that house and I am in another place, I thought. Maybe it is a jurt of devils,
which disappear before you touch it. Devils’ jurt! O my God – how am I
wrapped up in my own thoughts and how was I accustomed to invent something
and to overcome. So many great castles turned into ruins, and the most beautiful
and miraclous flowers grew in my heart. Further and further, I moved away from
this environment, my relationship with people and my existence in this house
was something like forced position. Actually, since we resettled in this house,
I have been suspecting of its durability (it seemed to me that at night, the house
trembled like strange melody), even every month I thought of how much force
of earthquake it could stand, but I have never dared to test it. During many years
I was thinking of this house where so many people with different intentions lived
with their own things and sins. Sometimes it occurred to me that what happens
to other people will happen to me, but again I began to think about it when I was
alone. It is true, this hurt me much before the grief, - you were aware of its
appearance in my heart. When I saw someone in our house, I called to mind
sacred places – holy trees, but I did not know why. If the house fells down,
nothing will remain, except a hill of stones. I felt sorry for them. Now these
multistoried houses would join with the grief about Sultonbek would kill my
weak body day after day – the whole world was losing its essence.
Those sheep and pig houses of my neighbour looked very strange. Houses
behind a small wood and plantations of our neighbours were the evidence that
this house was mine. In opposition to my condition, zeal and dare appeared me. I
came near and kicked a wall with my bare foot – it was solid. I felt cold in my
feet and body. A cold house. Now I have to define whether it belongs to me or
not.

© Translated by Azam Abidov - 2007 3

 I

Just at the entrance of the house, smell of longstanding dampness gave off.
In the darkness, under my feet some papers, iron boxes and garbage rustled. I
stumbled at something slippery and I stroke my forehead against an iron lattice.
Hot drops fell on my face – I felt a taste of blood and its smell. I kept my
forehead with my hands with all my strength. Right this moment, I heard a baby’
cry. I knew the cry. A young bride living in this floor has recently given birth.
The baby cried loudly. His tired mother had a sound sleep. The baby wept all
day long as if he had some smarting pain. The bride was svelte, pale and tender
and was not more than 18 years old. She was originally from the city behind
mountains; here she lived with bridegroom’s brothers. The bride always looked
down and spoke in such low tones that one who did not know her might think
that she was absorbed in thoughts. If you unexpectedly met her in the street and
asked her something, she turned red and started to get rid of you, as if you
captured her when she was committing a sin. I felt sorry that she was
embarrassed to answer such a simple question. Is there any relative of this angel
of shame? How does she speak to her husband? Once, when I entered their flat
with the hope of talking to her mother-in-law, there was a strange case. When the
bride knew why I entered their flat, not knowing, she began to run here and there
in the room. At one moment, she entered her own room to take care of her child,
at another, she went out to the balcony. I found that her mother-in-law was
watering flowers right under the balcony. The bride could not dare to call her
mother-in-law (where is dare to call?). According to some unofficial sources, this
bride never ate. If she has free time, she would take her child and put her
colorless face and body to the sunshine. Mother and child loved to sit in the sun.
When her mother-in-law became aware of this habit of her bride, she began to
control the bride and raised a clamor that the bride ate sunlight. In any case, it
was a great charisma that the bride lived in this house. Always when I entered
the house and saw their door, I felt warmth in my heart, and surprisingly, each

© Translated by Azam Abidov - 2007 4

time I looked at the door as if I was seeing this door for the first time. It seemed
to me that the infant was tired of crying; therefore, sometimes he stopped to rest
for a while. His mother slept alongside. Though I wanted to ring a bell, to clarify
everything in the flat and to calm the baby, but I knew it was impossible, so I
went on further. The doorway was as dark as grave, so light in my heart
disappeared at once. I could not believe that here – behind doors and iron
lattices, there were hundreds of inhabitants. I did not know where to go and
suspected that no person has passed this place for several hours. Stairs and walls
were soft and slimy and reminded of a great hairy fat creature.

II

I went upstairs barefoot and reached the first floor. I felt too objectionable
odor and I loathed. My hands touched papers and bottles that were disorderly put
in the corner. When I moved to this house, first whom, I met with was the
neighbour living on this floor. This was a poetess called Gulyuz Orifi, a very
nervous, short-tempered woman. When she first met me, she asked:
- Are you the one, who moved to the seventh floor?
- Yes, I am.
- There is no harm from the seventh.
- No harm? – I asked surprisingly.
- In general, it was nice for you to move to the seventh floor.
- Why? – I asked.
- You would be closer to God. What’s your name?
- Sevilbeka.
- Sevilbeka! What a beautiful name you have!
She pronounced the word “beautiful” with such an excitement, that it would be
enough not only for me but also for the whole house as well. After that, when we
met, she always tried to greet solemnly and grandiloquently.
- Hello, my dear Sevilbeka! - she always greeted.

© Translated by Azam Abidov - 2007 5

 - Hello, respectable Gulyuz Orifi, - I replied.
Gulyuz was a very sensitive woman, she often returned from work being
very nervous. In this situation, she did not know where to stop and smoked
continuously. She had two daughters called Vatan and Oydin. They were so
bashful and modest – the opposite of her own mother, Gulyuz Orifi. The girls
were thin, as if they also ate sunshine. What house I live in, if everyone living in
this house eats sunshine, will the sky of a lucky generation remain without sun?
Will it be possible to live without the sun then? The moon has its own way. In
short, I was going to tell other sides of Mrs.Gylyuz Orifi’ character. She was a
very complicated strange woman: if someone objected to her opinion, or if her
offer was refused, or if someone criticized her – those people turned to be
enemies of Mrs. Gulyuz. For her, almost all inhabitants living in this house were
enemies. The entire world consisted of enemies. If something opposed to her
interest, the word “enemy” had appeared at once. However, she felt no hurt for
her recollections, on the contrary, she was able to find new friends around.
Gulyuz Orifi had strange habits. When she was nervous, she ordered her
daughters to clean the doorway, and she sat in front of the door. Once I saw her
quarreling with our Russian neighbour.
- Hey, old woman, I do not let you pass this place.
- Where will I pass then?
- Try to fly and go… as an old witch with her broom.
- With my dog? – the old woman shows her part-colored pedigree dog.
- No, I will not let you pass, go back, back! I warned you several times, I
won’t bear my daughter Vatan to clean the garbage every day.
The old woman says that she will complain about this strange neighbour.
Gulyuz Orifi replies:
- Go-go, you can complain anywhere you like. Here, go to Qulqodir, head
of house committee. He will make a broom for you.
The old woman murmurs, thinks of selling her dog out, but she does not
know what will she do then, after all, she lives alone.

© Translated by Azam Abidov - 2007 6

 - Hey, dear neighbour, listen to me, in the first place, I am older than you…
- I am nor dear for you, I’m a stranger for you… Why are waiting for
respect? Did you respect your parents? Why do you keep this dog, stupid
woman? Children are afraid of this dog. Will this big dog give you
strength? If you suffer from living alone, it would be better for you to give
birth in your early life. Dog-breeder!
The old woman each time sat on the entryway near Gulyuz Orifi’s flat and
waited when she entered her flat and murmured time from time: “shizikh… ah
you shizikh”. She spoke this very slowly, as if she were speaking to herself.
Gulyuz Orifi liked her daughters very much, but sometimes she offended them
too. When she was drunken, she opened the window and screamed like a
fishwife.
- You’ll see, I’ll become the greatest poet of the world. Future generation will
read my poems only. Michael Jackson and Patricia Kastler will sing my songs.
Doctor Alban will join, too. O, I will become a millionaire. People will envy my
talent. I am an innate genius. Do you know who genius is? Yes… yes… Dog-
breeder, are you still sitting? Do not think of entering your flat today… You will
either enter without your dog, or sit on the broom… Va..ta..an, Va..ata..an, are
you dead, Oydin, where is Vatan? Vatan, do you hear me? Are you deaf?
Our neighbours also were afraid of speaking loudly, so they talked in a
whisper. They always gossiped about Gulyuz Orifi, but got a fright of her, and
though they did not acknowledge this, but they respected her very much.
Recently I’ve seen Gulyuz Orifi with flowers. Her eyes sparkled and she
pressed withered flowers to her bosom.
- Look, Sevilbeka, what beautiful flowers I have. Again spring came, I even
did not notice. My life has passed, and I did not see the spring. I expected many
dreams to come true this spring… Yesterday I wrote many poems, if you came, I
would read them to you…
I am not a psychologist, and I could not understand such kind of
contradiction and opposition of heart change. It was a strange thing that a poem

© Translated by Azam Abidov - 2007 7

– product of the most sensitive feelings of human being – came out from the
heart where inexorability, intrigue and envy grew… It was strange that ideas of
kindness and freedom came out from that heart…
Their door as always was dark, there is no sign of light, like many women
without husband, Gulyuz Orifi also was afraid of darkness. There were many
locks and chains in the door from inside. I rang a bell timidly. In five minutes, I
heard someone coming and asking in Russian:
- Who is there? Who?!
Why people speak Russian in the evening like this, I do not understand.
- It’s me, Sevilbeka, - I answered quickly, all the suspicion disappearing at
once.
- Who is there? – asked gain an angry person.
That person did not like to hear or did not hear me at all.
God damn you, Gulyuz Orifi – eight feet of dryness.

III

As I mounted a stairway, I felt a burning pain in my waist, yes, I felt such

pain from time to time. It means, I fell down very hard, I hope, I will reach my
own flat without a problem. I saw a doorway with flowers – iron door of our rich
neighbour. The owner of this flat was a giant woman with a small head – two big
and small roundness – she looked like an earthquake doll. The earthquake doll.
E. doll a very strange woman… She sometimes invented different things, just to
attract other people’s attention or show herself a great woman. Every spring,
when the first grass grow, when people – tired and dozy – began to look through
windows – E. doll announced of moving to her new house, which will be built
somewhere in the city, and gave donations to poor people. After some time, this
great movement would be postponed till next spring. We all – neighbours from
all eight floors always indifferently looked through our windows to see this
scene of great movement. I was thinking why this earthquake woman does like

© Translated by Azam Abidov - 2007 8

this. This woman’s husband, like many rich men, met with arrogant bad women.
The doll, furious and angry, did not like this habit of her own husband, and
invented scenes like the great movement. As I was thinking about it and
mounting up stairs, I stepped on something soft. It was a puppy that barked with
loud voice and ran away to a dark corner. Something like a trap squeezed my
feet strongly. (Or do these rich people put traps near their flat in the evenings?) If
I do not die now, I will never die, I thought. Some strange long voices were
heard from darkness.
- Who you are? Who? – asked a dozy dreadful voice.
I was so afraid and lost my tongue to speak, or I could not move any more. Only
then I found out that the thing falling down at my feet was a man. I wondered:
does a man lie in the doorway?
- Who is this? What do you need? Tell me, why are you keeping silence? Now I
will kick you off, - said the voice.
Oh, again, danger of death, for a person falling down from the seventh floor – to
fall down from the third floor – might be something like to jump over a small
brook.
- Set my foot free! Who are you yourself? Why are you lying here on the
stairs?
A strange man set my foot free. It was a strong middle-aged man, only his eyes
were seen in the darkness. The man was tired; he spoke in a hoarse voice:
- Who you are? Where are you coming from at such time?
- That’s no business of yours. – I fell down from the seventh floor – I am coming
from the next world.
The man said nothing, then asked with a strange voice like a boiling samovar:
- From which floor, you said?
- From the seventh! – I relied angrily.
The old man looked at my bare foot, white evening gown and bloody face.
I saw his beard - covered face wince.

© Translated by Azam Abidov - 2007 9

 - Get out of here, irrespective of who you are – genius, or spook - get out!
You are telling what a human being cannot believe. Heaven forbid!.. I
knew that you were not from this land… I knew it from your words…
As I was mounting a stairway, I heard the offended old man’s words clearly
in the darkness.
- Leave me alone, keep going, leave me… I had so many black days in my life.
What a life is this? I am lying here during ten days. During daytime, I spend my
time in the city, in the evening I came here every day. I have to take my own
money from the owner of this flat. According to our agreement, he had to give
me sugar in exchange for my twenty sheep. He took my sheep, but now it is
more than one year since he has taken them. He did not return what he had
promised. I am harassed. I cannot take my own debt. Everyday I get up early in
the morning and ask the fat bride if her husband came. She says no. What a poor
man I am. What my old wife is doing, o God, please help me, please help the
owner of this flat come back…
When the old man said this, the puppy I stepped, barked aloud. The man
sighed deeply. It seemed to me that he began to weep and his voice was muted.
- Recently, two black-forehead lads stole my horse. Drivers found it and
brought it to me. I gave them a ram in exchange. Those black-face lads sold my
horse to a sick man for five thousand soum. I want to give at least three thousand
soum to that man. That poor man has been deprived of both money and a horse.
We made him hurt. Ooh… ooh… Yet I have to go on foot half day after getting
off the train. Oh, my old wife, how is she living without me alone?..
As I was listening to the old man’s words, I surprisingly mounted slowly.
Are the Earthquakes at home, in general? They had such a great iron door, as if it
has never been opened. Perhaps, they are not at home, and had already moved to
another place. To the house built right in the center of the paradise. How can I
explain this to the old man living here during 10 days?
IV

© Translated by Azam Abidov - 2007 10

 Dread and panic covered all of my body and destructed my thoughts. I
was afraid of not only making a step but breathing as well, therefore, I tried to
mount quickly. The matter is that there was an angel-like woman called
Lyudmila. She peacefully lived in this house without any interference to other
people’s affairs and without gossip. When she met me she always smiled at me,
this smile spread like light on her face. She was a nice, simple and kindhearted
woman. Some days ago, all of a sudden, she died. I have never attended
Christians’ funeral before. Poor small Lyudmila was lying in the black box. Her
thinness was clearly seen in the box, as if she had died a thousand years ago. I
dared to come near and anticipated to see – for the last time – her lightsome face,
but instead an ugly woman was lying in the coffin. Being astonishingly
frightened, I could not know who was that woman. Since then I am afraid of
passing this place, it seems to me that one day smiling Lyuda will come out from
her flat. I do not understand, why people are afraid of dead bodies. Is it because
they are deprived of everything or they are deceased. For a long time, none lived
in Lyuda’s flat, but at nights it seemed as if someone was making fun, strange
lights were turned on and off in the flat. Suddenly something hairy touched my
foot, I began to faint away. I strongly held an iron lattice, a wail “mummy” came
out of my inside. A puppy barked at on my foot. Cursed dog, with the hope of
food, was clinging at my foot. My heart was about to break.

There is a lattice on the window of only this doorway, only walls on this floor
were painted in blue colors. This place was comfortable and solemn as if a good
ceremony has recently been held. The head of our house committee was living
on this floor. Chief. I often saw this man at in different meetings, when
something happened, when something was ordered from superior bodies. He
inclined his body down and always collected money for funeral or other
ceremonies. The herald of death. As our neighbourhood was situated in

© Translated by Azam Abidov - 2007 11

industrial area, there lived various nationalities. Russian old men and women
died here very often. These times I thought that the world consisted of lonesome
and abandoned old people. In short, this black herald, oppose to his work was a
very good-natured person, but did not understand our national habit well and
was Europeanized. It seemed to me that he did not think of tasks he were to do
thoroughly and was accustomed to do what people ask him at work and waht his
wife ask at home. Perhaps, we have to seek for reason of such a life within the
hands of other people from the person’s childhood. People in a Muslim family
are fostered in the manner of respecting parents and other adults. In other words,
fear lies under this respect. Only because of fear, children do not look at grown-
up’s eyes. Right this fear keeps thoughts under slavery and dependence. It is a
pity that the majority of this nation was fostered in this manner. Now he is not
able to discuss some problems, fear and slavery made his heart blind. Though he
is too obedient, after all he should raise a fist against oppression. However, our
hero Qodirqul had no strength to raise his hand. The world’s troubles oppressed
him so much, that he even could not dare to raise his eyes from earth. Every time
when I opened the door to him, and I saw him smiling likr a child, I got angry.
Why does this man fulfill his task under force, what does he want, what is his
purpose? Qodirqul had neither experience nor dare to do this. Perhaps, everyday
in the evening, he goes his home, closes the door and cries bitter tears. Yes, he
weeps. People like him this make only trouble. These days, nothingness,
scantiness ruled in the country, therefore when people saw this black herlad, they
ran away, they damned the dead old women, who disquite them all. The herald
smiled as if he did not understand this (indeed, he did not understand this), when
there was not enough money, he added himself, concealing from his wife.
Sometimes I saw him going to a municipal court with a bag full with puppies
(left by old women). Once in the New Year’s night, I was coming back from our
neighbour’s home, I saw Qodirqul staying in one shirt, in cold weather, full with
great grief and suffering. (I thought his wife turned him out). I invited him home,
but he feared and shook his head. O my God, even he had no dare to move from

© Translated by Azam Abidov - 2007 12

there. If there were two persons, who considered a woman to be a great power,
one of them was this – our herald Qodirqul. His tired eyes were so grievous
(perhaps he had never told his grief to anyone), that his wife covered his thin
body and did what she wanted.
I rang Qodirqul’s bell. He was the eldest person of our house, may he
fulfill his task. After a while, someone - dozy and fearsome – answered from
inside:
- Who? Who is there?
I repeatedly said that I was their neighbour Sevil, but the door was not opened.

VI

Having been hurt in my heart I mounted a stairway. A part of our house is

worthy to be described. The majority of women living in this house were without
husband. I called them hostesses of a great nunnery. They liked this description
very much, when we spoke, they alwyas began to justify themselves. My
neighbour called Katya would say laughingly: “O, nuns are happier and luckier
than all of us here”. She laughed but all of a sudden she became sad and went
home. When we moved to this house, she was young and beautiful. She had tow
daughters whom she took to their kindergaten every day. In short, Irina, one of
her daughters, married to a foreigner. After that her life changed, she began to
drink vodka and strolled about the streets. There was no sign of previous
beautiful and young Katherina. I heard that her Indian bridegroom took his child
and turned Irina out when they reached their home. Now Irina became a
streetwaker. Her mother wrote letters asking her to come back...
Perhaps today Katya did not give up her habit of drinking. However, the
desire to find the reason how I appeared downstairs became higher than ever.
But what can I know from this drunkard woman? I have to be patient (I was born
in patience). I rang the bell. It sounded much louder outside than inside.
Someone approached and opened the door (not asking if I were a thief or genie-

© Translated by Azam Abidov - 2007 13

satan). Katya leaning to the door for a second, threw herself on my neck. I was
afraid of her – Whom she likened me to? I felt a bad smell of vodka and whiff of
garlic.
- Ira, my dear daughter... my joy. At last, you came, I knew that you would
come one day. I saw you in my dream recently... right in the same robe. You
were strolling about unknwon deserted streets. My sweet daughter... o my God...
In the darkness Katya was kissing and embracing me, she was talking
something strange and weeping.
I did not know what to do. O, how great it would be if I turned into a
young girl with golden hair. How nice it would be if I came flying from a remote
country and turn into a beauty, oh God. I would throw myself on my mother’s
neck. Indeed, this woman would become very happy. O my God! That bad smell
made me sick and suddenly I cried:
- Katya, leave me alone, you will kill me now, it’s me, your neighbour
from the seventh floor...
All of a sudden her hands stopped moving. She even stopped breathing.
She could not accept the fact it was me, not her daughter. The puppy made a
strange voice.
Katya whispered as if she were talking to herself.
- Is it you?! God damn you, a night ghost.O Jesus, so... o God... you
annoyed me, all of you... moralists, public men – new communists...
And the puppy sympathizing until now, felt that the situation cahnged,
barked and rushed to the attack. The door was strongly closed, voices stopped,
and I remained alone in the darkness.

VII

Trembling, I mounted the stairway, the cold wind troubled my body

strolling about the doorways very much. My heart was broken, my body was like
an empty dustbin. “She turned her out... Katherina...”

© Translated by Azam Abidov - 2007 14

 I wanted to set at rest but my heart softened and I wailed. What a person I
was? Suddenly I heard a beautiful tune, a melody. After all, an old clown, old
musician and crazy man lives in this flat. They say this man was a great singer
and musician before. He would receive much ovation from people. Later, when a
former-singer grew old and let several weddings, down people came to him,
made him drink and went off. Deceived singer, the following day, sang songs to
children, when children were bored, they threw stones at him and ran away. The
musician knew about this trick and once on a richman’s wedding, wept and
asked Qodirqul to let him hear songs, even if they tied his hands up. They say
this man does not sleep day and night. It seems to be right, dim light was seen
through small holes. A faint song was heard. I could not remeber where I heard
this music. Thus I approached the door. Maybe he is listening to the radio, I
thought. I have never heard such a beautiful song. “See when he fell in love...” Is
the old fool singing this song, isn’t he? Don’t believe... Perhaps, ringing their
chimes in their feet, angels sing this song every night... Perhaps, the old fool’s
spirit is singing this song... I imagined that this old man’s door was opened to the
other world and the song came from there. I knew, this was the song of the night,
the song, which strolled about me, knocked doors and wanted to prove
something in this transient world – as a consequence would find the last place in
this old fool’s home. This song annoyed aloneness and entered this home before
me. Oh, what a trickster and invader the Night is!
I rang the bell. Silence... Million years have passed. Neither old fool nor a
traitor Night opened the door. I scolded the two fool with the worst words in the
world and thus rested on my laurels. I went ahead.

VIII (no, you are wrong it is not the eighth) IX

As I was too angry, I missed my own floor and mounted to the eighth floor.
Those two persons living upstairs were the reason for this. This floor was
strange, and a strange old woman lived here. It seemed to me that this woman

© Translated by Azam Abidov - 2007 15

was brought from another planet to protect this flat. The old woman lived alone
in this four-room flat. She was like a ghost. She did not go out and I suspected
that she was not living there. Nobody knew what she ate or drank, as if she were
like an invisible man. Everything was too interesting. It seemed to me that
persons who eat sunlight and who never eat, were living in this flat on the eighth
floor. In general, people were talking about this old woman for a long time. They
said that this woman had no relative in this world. At nights when the Moon
appeares, she talks with someone about something near her window. O, I do not
like this Moon at all. Since million years it has been an eye-witness and
participant of evil deeds. Do you think the moon gives light at dark nights? It
was better for it not to shine. It was better for it to shine like the sun. It swallows
the others light and shines at night. I do not like this moon, it reminds me of
many strange, evil doings. I always think about mankind’s future and because of
the moon’s spotty and black face, my heart is filled with untrue thoughts. After
all, the moon has spots on its face, which means it has some disease in its body.
As I was thinking about the old woman, I did not note how I approached the
door of this secret nun. What’s the matter? It seemed to me that someone tapped
and talked at home, someone opened and closed windows. Suddenly I heard a
very familiar voice. It was my own mother! Oh my God, this grivous and sad
voice was like silk descending to my ears. If there were two women who did not
know what happiness was, one of them was my mother. This woman was the
essence of all feelings of grieves. Her childhood and youth passed during the
second world war. As a bride was very beautiful and well-mannered, therefore
she got married five times. First, she married a richman and took her own father
from prison, second, she married another person and saved her brother from
going to war and so on. Every time, with bitter tears in her eyes, she advanced
forward.
She died without consent, too. As if everything was the same to her. Is it
true that my mother is in this home? I trembled and worried very much. If the
old woman living in this flat is my mother, why then she kept it secret? What is

© Translated by Azam Abidov - 2007 16

the reason to hide? I could not understand how she could come here from her
village and if this old woman were not my mother, where from the voice came?
To speak the truth, I was afraid and rang the bell. At this moment I wanted to go
down but something kept me. I felt that people in the flat rested assured. My
mind began to work clearly as a watch. What she will do in this flat, where an
old woman has been living for million years? Perhaps I dreamt of seeing my
mother in this flat. I was panic-stricken. When I was going downstairs, the door
opened and a girl at the age of about twenty five appeared. If you do not take
into account her beauty and age, she was like the old woman living in this flat.
- My mother, or no, the aunt – the owner of this flat is here? – I asked.
- It is me the owner of this flat, - said the woman staring at me with her cold
eyes.
The woman laughed as if she was capturing something and eating. O my
God, she had no teeth! Her eyes shined in a strange way. The woman’s hands
remained still as if she were asking me to come nearer. I ran down. On the
seventh floor, I rang the bell of my own flat. For a long time, the whole house
remained in silence. I was looking up, to know if somebody was coming.
Strange voice and noise was heard from the doorway. No one opened the door.
As it was clear that I was downstairs, I was scared out of my senses. Being dozy,
I fell down from the seventh floor, I thought. I suspected everything, including
the moon and the flat. Though the door was staring at me as if it saw me for the
first time, but I was clearly looking at my own body lying on a double bed. I
hardly saw my hair spread on the pillow and my body under a silken evening
dress. Yes, I was not even covered with a blanket and was sleeping like a magic
queen. There were traces of sufferings and wails of the world in my proud face. I
was between myself and my own body. O, I strolled about this world very much
and I got tired. Now I have to go back. Suddenly I heard that the nun from the
eighth floor was calling me: woman, who did not recognize her own mother. I
ascended through dark doorways as fast as I could. That dear person was still in
my thought at this moment, too. On the way, I stepped on heads of various

© Translated by Azam Abidov - 2007 17

creatures, on the hand of the person lying at the door of the rich man, and the
foot of the puppy sleeping in the corner. No one screamed or cried. Everyone
was sleeping. Sleep is equal to death. The entire world was dead, and I was
walking on it. I slipped and I fell over the lattice... Rustle and a condition of an
object falling down was ruling my body. Again I heard familair tunes and songs.
I heard the fool musician’s voice on some floor, I lifted on the shoulder of the
song and again... again... I fell to earth strongly. I was living in clear and sweet
tunes during several moments. Again all of these reminded me of my unhappy
love – Sultonbek.
All of a sudden, I awakened. I was sweating all over. Strange dreams I had
seen. Very strange. My body was in such a staggering condition that now I felt as
if I had fallen down not from the eighth but from the ninetieth floor.

© Translated by Azam Abidov - 2007 18