Organic & sculptural mix & match daywear made from the kindest of eco fabrics.

www.e ar thki ndor ig inal s.co.u k

earthkindoriginals earthkindoriginals ekosense EKOWomenswear

 COULD ASMR HELP CELEBRATE NATURE CREATE A WELLNESS FOLLOW THE CALL
YOU TO FEEL CALM? SCANDI STYLE HAVEN AT HOME OF THE OCEAN

ISSUE #22 FEBRUARY 2019



EXTRAS
TIME FOR INSIDE!
YOURSELF
AFFIRMATION
POSTCARDS
INSPIRING
Easy ways to relax, quieten WALL ART
your mind & sleep well

EATING
MINDFULLY
Feel great by
changing how
you eat
 Joy is often to be
found in those little
moments inbetween
“THERE ARE ONLY TWO WAYS TO LIVE YOUR LIFE.
ONE IS AS THOUGH NOTHING IS A MIRACLE. THE
OTHER IS AS THOUGH EVERYTHING IS
A MIRACLE.” ALBERT EINSTEIN

welcome
W
hile I love February’s
crisp, cold days with
its frosted leaves and
watercolour blue sky, for many
of us it’s the month we notice a dip
in motivation, as the honeymoon period of the new
year has passed and January’s intentions begin to feel
a little less appealing – the early morning walk, the
daily yoga practice, the healthy eating plan… and it’s
easy to slip back into old habits. So our themes, this
issue, are motivation and self-confidence – for
we cannot have one without the other.
It’s something I think we can forget. We judge
ourselves, and sometimes others, harshly for a ‘lack
of motivation’, or staying power, when actually we
have the will, we just haven’t yet found the way. So
often, what appears to be a lack of motivation is
PS: You’ll find this month’s
subscription offer on page 26
MAGAZINE
Download
your bonus
papers
actually a manifestation of our lack of self confidence;
it’s not knowing how to get started, it’s fear of failure,
it’s the threat of embarrassment if we get it ‘wrong’.
In her Wellbeing column, Harriet Griffey looks at
how our fears hold us back, and how we can take
steps to overcome them (page 18). Karen Edwards
explores identity, and how vital our sense of self
is to our confidence – read her moving personal
experience on page 20. We also examine confidence
within our relationships – Sarah Orme writes about
loneliness – ‘a modern epidemic’ – and how nurturing
our connections can help to build our confidence in
all areas of our lives (page 28).
And on page 48, you’ll find Annika Rose’s
motivation-themed quiz, to help you gauge how
you’re faring and, if you need a helping hand, give
you some tools to get you back on track. Here’s
to a fruitful and inspiring month.
KIRSTIE DUHIG Editor
WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM 3
contents

70
90
48
HOW MOTIVATED
ARE YOU? READ
OUR TIPS TO
FINDING YOUR
MOJO

58

93

46 RELATIONSHIPS Cast out old grievances

WELLBEING 17 and deal with the issue at hand.

18 WELLBEING COLUMN Overcoming 48 TAKE OUR QUIZ How motivated are you?
our fears can reap rewards. Plus, tips on how to find your mojo.

20 FINDING YOURSELF How a strong sense 52 RELAX WITH ASMR Could watching
of identity helps us to feel grounded. a sensory video help you feel calm?

28 OVERCOMING LONELINESS Simple 58 LISTICLE Calming wellbeing podcasts.

2 TREATS strategies to help nurture our connections.

FOR YOU! 37 YOGA NIDRA Promote sleep LIVING 61
naturally with Yoga Nidra.
62 EATING MINDFULLY Feel great
41 AUNT JOSEPHINE Noisy neighbours. by changing how you eat.

42 SHOPPING: WINTER SKINCARE 66 LISTICLE Inspiring food-positive bloggers.

45 HAVE YOU TRIED? Crystal therapy. 68 LIVING COLUMN February is all about
nesting, says our new columnist Hannah.

4 WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM
 MAGAZINE

45

20

82

37 62

70 YOUR SANCTUARY How to create 82 SCANDI STYLE Celebrate the seasons

a wellness haven at home. and make an upcycled bottle vase.

76 SHOPPING: HAVENLY HOME STYLE

CREATING 79
80 CREATING COLUMN How to make
your creative time a habit.
ESCAPING 87
88 ESCAPING COLUMN Heed the
call of the ocean...
90 SHOPPING: SWIMMING KIT

93 THE POWER OF WALKING From

walking theatre to therapy – it works!

46 102 BOOK CLUB Escape into a good book.

104 AUSTRALIA'S BOHO SIDE Discover

Stop stoking 26
SUBSCRIBE
the beautiful Southern Highlands. TODAY!
old wounds Find our great offers
114 LIFE LESSONS Finding the courage for a limited time only.
to follow your dream.

WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM 5
 letters

WRITE TO US

Your thoughts
WHETHER YOU’D LIKE TO TELL US WHAT’S RESONATED
WITH YOU AND INSPIRED YOU THIS ISSUE OR SIMPLY SEND
US YOUR MUSINGS, WE’D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU Cover illustration Bett Norris

come,” writes Natalie. “However, the Just meditating on that for 10 minutes
period between Christmas and New was so helpful. In The Moment is truly
Year always makes me want to get life-enhancing!
organised! What goals do I want to Selena, via email
achieve in 2019? I love the feeling of
complete freedom to pursue whatever
we fancy!”
Natalie wins
Photography @zen.lens

this lovely tea

Photo comp winner!
Our latest Instagram photography
challenge theme was ‘cosy’ and this
picture sent in by Natalie (@zen.lens)
definitely fits the brief.
“Christmas has allowed me to slow
down and spend valuable time with
my loved ones; sharing stories of the
past and realising how far we have all
Get in touch
www.facebook.com/
InTheMomentMag
www.instagram.com/
inthemomentmag
set by T2
worth £35
(t2tea.com).
See last month’s
shortlist & find
our latest photo
competition on our Insta.
Moments of clarity
I had a couple of mini revelations
while I was reading issue 21 of In The
Moment – so thank you for those.
The first was while reading the
article on kintsugi. I loved the concept
of accepting the bad as well as the
good and placing value on life’s
imperfections. And the second was
about recognising inner strength –
titiksha – as part of Integral Yoga.
Timely advice…
Thank you for the ‘letting go’
segment of your magazine this month!
I’d been thinking a lot about how
I treat myself during exam times, as
I’m sitting my A-Levels this summer,
and have been trying to stop passing
unnecessary harsh judgement before
my exams.
This article came at just the right
time for me and it was very much
what I needed to hear!
Kate, via Instagram

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6 WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM
 MAGAZINE

Meet our talented The team

Editorial

contributors Editor-in-chief Jules Taylor

Editor Kirstie Duhig
Art Editor Becki Clark
Designer Olivia Watkins
It takes a lot to make your monthly guide to a mindful Digital Editor Sarah Orme
life, and it’s all thanks to our wonderful contributors Contributors
(as well as everyone else working behind the scenes). Illustration Becki Clark, Fran Murphy,
Bett Norris, Olivia Watkins
Say hello to four of this issue’s writers… Photography Jesse Wild
Additional production Katharine Bennett,
Katriel Costello, Claire Vaughan

Advertising
K AREN EDWARDS Call: 0117 300 8206
Group Advertising Manager Penny Stokes
Karen is a travel and lifestyle journalist who Account Manager Emelie Arnold
has been travelling the world for the past few Senior Brand Executive Ruth Cole

years, raising awareness of climate change Marketing & Circulation

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As a certified health coach and lifelong
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7
 MAGAZINE

Uplifting ideas, stories and inspiration

from around the world

Llama karma
We’re all familiar with the Dalai Lama,
but have you heard of the Dolly Llama?
We hadn’t either, but we’ve discovered
that he has a lot to say about spirituality
and wellbeing in a witty new book,
The Dolly Llama: Words of Wisdom from
a Spiritual Animal.
“The Llama Karma tradition to which
I belong teaches that the best way to
keep a happy mind is through ‘cuditation’
(a hybrid of meditation and chewing),”
Good time
he explains in the book. “Cuditating can If you participated in Veganuary this year
sometimes mean standing in a field and and want to continue your efforts, it might
chewing cud blankly, yet it can also involve be time to think outside the box. We often
finding time to repeat to oneself positive think of veganism in terms of food, but
teachings.” He shares such llama life-inspired everything from what we wear on our feet
teachings in each chapter, addressing to how we accessorise can contain animal-
everything from hope to compassion and derived ingredients. Luckily, many brands are
discipline: “Discipline is something we already thinking about how they can provide
practise, just as we practise getting up a vegan option with their products, helping
those mountains with the bad gradients (the us to both stick to our values and feel stylish.
ones that even the goats can’t deal with). We love the vegan-friendly collection from
Some days we will be up for the climb, and nature-inspired watch designer Olivia Burton,
on others we will not be feeling it. We must swapping out her signature pastel-hued
reward ourselves for every time we do try, leather straps for a non-animal product
and forgive ourselves material that’s still super soft on your skin.
when we slip.” Shop online at www.oliviaburton.com
While we’re not sure
we’re going to be
chewing cud anytime
soon, we’ve realised CLASS CHEER
that we can learn The Dalai Lama (the man,
a lot from llamas! not the llama) has launched
The Dolly Llama by a new ‘happiness curriculum’
for over 800,000 children in
Illustration Ja Cie Brosze

Stephen Morrison
(Michael O’Mara Delhi, India. Students will take
Books, £9.99) is a weekly 45-minute happiness
out now. class, to raise awareness of
mental wellbeing.

8 WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM
 FEELING
INSPIRED?
You can read our full
Women Who Photo interviews with Agatha
and Holly-Marie and
Ever walked into a meeting and realised you’re the only discover how they
woman there? For Agatha A Nitecka, a photographer who built their careers
co-founded RAN studio, it’s something she’s encountered all on our website:
too often in her career. She works as a stills photographer on www.calm
film sets yet she finds that people still ask for ‘the stills guy’. moment.com
Agatha was given a big break in her career by Wuthering
Heights director Andrea Arnold, who saw her potential, and
she strongly believes in supporting other upcoming female
photographers: “Share your contacts, encourage other
women, support businesses that are female-led, and then
if you see potential in someone give them a chance.”
Photographer and filmmaker Holly-Marie Cato, who has
worked with the likes of Nike, says that women need to
know their worth and have confidence in their skills.
“When I first started, I didn’t even call myself a
photographer and my friends had to knock it into
me and say: ‘No, you’re a photographer!’”
she recalls. This year, The Photography Show
(Birmingham NEC, 16-19 March) aims to support
women through their brilliant Women Who Photo
campaign – which includes an exhibition and
inspiring talks by female photographers
including Agatha and Holly-Marie.
For more info visit www.photographyshow.com

This beautiful
photograph of Lady
Bird star Saoirse
Ronan was taken by
Agatha A. Nitecka
on the set of How I
Live Now (2013).
good news
Lovely plans to add to your diary
Follow the Berlin Film Festival.
Also known as the Berlinale, this
celebration of international film
is happening on 7-17 February,
showcasing 400 movies from an
array of filmmakers. This year’s
films have strong sustainability
and societal themes, sharing
ideas and starting discussions
about the world we live in.
Watch live streams and get
involved at www.berlinale.de
10 WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM
Head off on a last-minute
adventure. February to April
are off-season for many
countries, so now is the perfect
time to plan an escape. From
Greece to Bali, beating the rush
will mean that you can make
the most of the must-visit spots,
find lower-cost airfare and more
accommodation options – just
check the weather before you
go to know what to expect.
Get involved in International
Women’s Day 2019 on 8th
March. This year’s theme is
#BalanceforBetter, encouraging
us to celebrate women’s
achievements to call for a more
gender-balanced world. Last
year, Team ITM got into the spirit
of things with slogan t-shirts,
but you can also organise an
event or even just share a selfie.
internationalwomensday.com
Start training – Swimathon 2019
is happening on 29-31 March. In
pools across the country, people
will be taking to the water to
raise money for Cancer Research
UK and Marie Curie. Distances
range from 400m to 5k, so
wherever your swimming skills
are at, you can take part and
meet fellow splash enthusiasts.
Find out more and register
at www.swimathon.org
Send a little bit of love out into
the world this Valentine’s Day
with the huggg app. The idea
is simple – pick a food or drink
treat for a loved one and write
them a message, then pay and
your gift will be sent straight to
their phone, for them to redeem
and enjoy. It’s a lovely way to let
someone know you’re thinking
about them, near or far.
www.huggg.me
Don your sunglasses. Yes, really!
We often forget that in winter, UV
rays are still harmful to our eyes
and the delicate skin around the
eye area. The sun is also lower in
the sky, which can lead to more
UV exposure than in the height
of summer. A pair of shades will
protect your peepers from this,
as well as keeping your eyes safe
from moisture-stripping winter
winds, and looking super-stylish!
 GOOD NEWS

Photography Netflix
START SMALL
Streamlining just
your drawers can
make a big impact.
Spring cleaning Stacking folded clothes
upright, rather than flat,
If you’ve been binge-watching Tidying can help you to see all
Up with Marie Kondo, you might have your items, and will
been inspired to start your spring keep them tidy. No
cleaning early – and there’s good reason more early morning
to. A recent study found that those who drawer rifling!
described their homes as ‘cluttered’ were
more likely to feel negative mood swings
Do stress
and fatigue. Debora Robertson, author of Most of us think of stress as being a
new book Declutter, agrees. “Clutter negative thing, but it turns out that we
drains you of energy,” she says. “It steals can reap the rewards with a small change
your time, robs you of storage and fills in attitude. ‘Eu’ is a Greek prefix that
up your weekends with things that need translates as ‘good’, and adding it to
cleaning, mending or putting away.” the dreaded s-word changes its meaning
So, how do you make your home a entirely. Eustress is those butterflies in our
streamlined, happy space? For Marie stomach when doing something we are
Kondo, it’s getting rid of anything that nervous but excited about, helping
doesn’t bring you joy or serve a purpose. us to perform better, instead of being
Debora recommends deciding on what sabotaged by stress and worry. So how
‘tidy’ means to you before you start: can we make the switch? The next time
“That may be minimalist, or it may be you’re stressed, reframe the situation.
cosier than that, but whatever it is, it’s Instead of thinking about what could go
right for you, which means your new-look wrong, focus on what could go right –
life will be easier for you to maintain.” and enjoy working towards that outcome.
Tidying Up with Marie Kondo is currently
available for streaming on Netflix. Declutter:
the get-real guide to creating calm from chaos
is available now (Kyle Books, £12.99).
IS?

BREATHWORK
WHAT

It’s a trending term that can sound daunting, but if

you’ve ever attended a yoga class, you’ll likely have
already done it. Breathwork applies to any breathing
exercises that are done to calm the mind and body,
usually focusing on lengthening the breath.

WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM 11
good news

HOW I
GOT STARTED

Rachel Demuth is the director of Demuths

Cookery School in Bath, which specialises in
teaching an exciting and varied selection of
plant-based and vegan courses for all abilities
(www.demuths.co.uk).

Photography Demuths Cookery School

How did you come to start working with food?
After I finished my degree in African History, I decided
to take the summer off before looking for a ‘proper’
job in autumn. Two friends and I set ourselves the
challenge of going to London and finding a job in
a day to earn some holiday money. I went to Neal’s
Yard in Covent Garden and got a job at the bakery,
supposedly because I was wearing the same shoes
as the woman who interviewed me! The business
was a cooperative, so we ran all parts of it, learning
everything from accounts to serving tea. Looking
back, my four years there were my happiest time. On the grid
How did your career then progress? #MOONMILK
In 1984, I moved to Bath to open Broad Street
Bakery. At that time, bread was white, wholewheat This warming Ayurvedic drink is said to aid sleeplessness and
or granary, but we were making sundried tomato create calm before bed. Here are four of our Insta faves
and olive breads and pumpernickel breads made in getting creative with the recipe to make a beautiful brew
baked bean cans… all breads before their time. We
also opened a café behind the bakery, serving big
tray bakes and soups with chunks of warm bread.
It was a buzzy, successful business. I then opened
Demuths restaurant in 1987, also as a bakery and
café. We installed the second ever cappuccino
machine in Bath! I sold Broad Street Bakery in 1993
to concentrate on Demuths, cooking in the kitchen
while my partner ran front of house.

Tell us about your cookery school.

Our restaurant customers kept asking us to teach
them how to make the ‘Demuths’ style of food.
I started with groups at my home and thoroughly
enjoyed teaching them and sharing experiences. In
2010, the cookery school moved to the centre of Bath,
helping us to achieve our aim of sharing and inspiring
vegan ways of working with food, creating flavourful
dishes that are a pleasure to cook, eat and share.

What advice would you give to aspiring chefs?

Be prepared to work really hard! Don’t let fear of
failing stop you from following your dreams – use Clockwise from top left: @naturalthingsnz;
it to channel your energy. @tea.signature; @loveandoliveoil; @marisamoore

12 WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM
 A great escape
If the cold weather already has you planning
a trip to sunnier climes, then it might be
worth adding Bora Bora to your list of
places to consider – it’s been named as the
top trending travel destination of 2019.
Known for its sparkling blue waters and
iconic over-water bungalows, this tahitian
island sounds like the perfect place to
kick back and relax, but it’s the island’s
eco-credentials that we’re impressed by.
From sea turtle protection centres to coral
colony creation, there are plenty of ways
to get involved with looking after the
local environment while you’re there, and
some hotels even offer zero-emission solar
electric boats for exploring the lagoon
and the surrounding islands.

SAVE THE SEAS

The Okeanos
Foundation for the
Sea supports island
states to create fossil-free
water transport. They
launched the Okeanos
Pearl, the first solar
electric boat in Bora
Bora, in 2017.
 What I do...
“OUR MISSION IS TO
FUNDAMENTALLY
SHIFT THE WAY THAT
BUSINESS IS DONE”
Amy Christiansen Si-Ahmed is a social
impact entrepreneur, having founded her
own socially conscious luxury fragrance
house, Sana Jardin, in 2015. “My
grandmother, Mary Pomeroy, co-founded
The United States Delegation for Friendship
Among Women. She gifted me with the
desire to work towards social justice and
empower women economically,” says Amy,
who spent 20 years working as a social
worker in the non-profit sector.
To do this, Amy started the Orange
Blossom Project, working with non-profit
organisation, Nest, and Moroccan floral
supplier, Les Arômes du Maroc. “We
created a cooperative for the indigenous
women who harvest orange blossom used
in our perfumes, enabling them to upcycle
floral waste into their own line of products.
They then sell these products under their
own brand name, Annammaa, retaining
100% of the proceeds,” she explains.
For Amy, supporting these women
through commerce, rather than charity, is
key to initiating socioeconomic change. She
hopes that Sana Jardin will inspire others in
the industry, and beyond: “Our mission is to
fundamentally shift the way that business is
done by embedding social impact initiatives
into the business model.”
Read more about Sana Jardin and discover
the perfumes at www.sanajardin.com.

Smart stories
Usually, we’re encouraged to put
down our phones while we focus on
a good book, but new technology is
allowing us to combine the two to
engage even more in the stories we
read. Developed by the Ambient
Literature project, this immersive
new genre of novels is written for
smartphone, allowing the story to
sync to the reader’s surroundings and
then change according to how they
interact with their environment. The
idea is to redefine the rules of the
reading experience, helping us to
adapt to digital advancement, rather
than reject it. Just be careful to watch
where you’re going as you read!
You can find out more about the project and
download the four stories currently available
at research.ambientlit.com
ON OUR
SHELF
good news
3 podcasts to make
you laugh
IF WINTER WOES ARE GETTING YOU DOWN,
ADD A LITTLE HUMOUR TO YOUR DAY
MY DAD WROTE A PORNO
No comedy podcast list would be
complete without this one. Host Jamie is
joined by friends James and Alice to read
aloud chapters from an erotic fiction penned
by his father during his free time. The result
is as awkward and hilarious as it sounds!
2 DOPE QUEENS
The queens in question are Jessica
Williams and Phoebe Robinson, who record
a live comedy show each week with some of
their favourite comedians, talking about
everything from race to feminism with a
sharp wit and on-point jokes.
PUNCH UP THE JAM
If you’re a music fan, this one’s for you
– comedians and best friends Miel Bredouw
and Demi Adejuyigbe break down well-known
songs, hilariously picking apart problematic
lyrics and hidden meanings, then recreating
their own, better (and funnier) version. You’ll
never listen to the radio the same way again.
HASHTAG AUTHENTIC BY SARA TASKER
White Lion Publishing, £16.99
If you’ve read Sara’s column in our Creating
section, you’ll know that she’s a creative
social media queen. In her first book, she
shares what she’s learned about creating
an authentic version of yourself online, and
how you can use that to find your tribe and
be inspired in all areas of your life.
Hashtag Authentic is on sale on 21st February 2019.
WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM 15
A DVERT IS E M EN T

Melt Ricola
BELIEVES THAT

it all moments of calm

SHOULD BE POSSIBLE
FOR EVERYONE

away every day

A
busy schedule can can make
it hard to find time to relax,
and giving ourselves a regular
dose of TLC often slips down
our list of priorities. Swiss herbal sweet
brand Ricola works to a philosophy of
always prioritising our wellbeing, and is
committed to finding different ways of
taking time out for ourselves – regardless
of where we are or what we’re doing.
Ricola’s sugar-free herbal sweets, for
example, have been designed to make INGREDIENTS
precious moments of calm, enjoyment SHOWER MELTS
and appreciation possible for everyone, 200g baking
even when we’re out and about. Made soda Add the baking soda, citric acid and cornstarch to a bowl
using a unique 13-herb blend and free 100g citric
1 and mix well. Add around 20 drops of each of your chosen
from artificial flavours and colours, acid essential oils and mix well, then carefully add the water
the deliciously refreshing sweets 60g cornstarch until the mixture has the consistency of wet sand.
come in a range of flavours including
Up to 3
LemonMint, Elderflower, Mountain
essential oils 2 Distribute the mixture across the ice cube tray moulds
Mint, Cranberry and Herbal Caramel. so that each one is filled to the top and press down.
Having a packed diary doesn’t of your choice Leave to dry for 24 hours.
mean you have to sacrifice indulgent e.g. lavender,
downtime. Embrace Ricola’s ethos peppermint To use the shower melts, place a handful on the floor of
by trying your hand at these easy-to- or lemon 3 the bath or cubicle while you shower. The water and
make shower melts and turning an 2 tbsp water steam will release the essential oils, creating a unique,
everyday ritual into a relaxing pamper. immersive and relaxing experience. The melts can also
EQUIPMENT be kept in a sealed container for several weeks, making
To find out more go to ricola.com Ice cube tray them a great gift idea.

Ricola sweets are available to buy

online at ricola.com and ocado.com
and in store from the confectionery
aisle at Holland & Barrett,
Waitrose, Sainsbury’s, WHSmith,
Morrisons, independent health
food stores and pharmacies.
 MAGAZINE

HOW A STRONG SENSE OF IDENTITY HELPS US TO

FEEL GROUNDED; UNDERSTANDING AND OVERCOMING
LONELINESS; PROMOTING SLEEP NATURALLY WITH YOGA
NIDRA; PLUS, HOW TO BOOST YOUR MOTIVATION.
wellbeing

OVERCOMING FEAR
Fear is part of our survival instinct but if it hinders progress, then it’s time to face it down
Words: Harriet Griffey / Illustration: Fran Murphy

ear can be useful when it gives us pause to consider, Breaking it down and separating out the actual fear from

F or protects against, something detrimental to

us. But when fear becomes more than a warning
signal, and when the anticipated threat has become
bigger than its likelihood, then we find ourselves refusing
experiences or possibilities that might be positive. One
of the problems with fear as an emotion is that we have
a physical response to it, caused by a surge of the stress
hormone adrenaline. This gears the body up to the fight/
flight/freeze response, putting us on red alert, making the
heart pound and our breathing faster. It can feel horrible
and we can in fact become fearful of that feeling, so
learning to manage this becomes important. But how?
Naming your fear in order to face it, working with
something tangible rather than something that’s abstract
can be helpful. It’s also useful to work out whether it’s
the fear itself, or a re-living of the past experience that
you fear. Are you fearful of all dogs, or the one that
barked horribly at you and scared you as a small child?
Maybe you are hanging on to a fear for some unconscious
purpose. If you feel that the world is precarious, the
certainty of something, even fear, can feel like a life raft on
which to unload your anxieties. But if holding on to that
fear stops you from doing or getting what you want, it’s
counter-productive. Review your beliefs about particular
fears calmly (or maybe with a therapist) and they may no
longer be valid. Then, in facing them, you can let them go.
I don’t like flying. I think that hurtling through the sky at
high speed in a metal tube, 37,000 feet above the ground
is dangerous. But I still do it. Why? Because I want to get
from A to B, visit new places or friends, and this is usually
the quickest way. And, rationally, I know it’s statistically
safer than crossing a road. But I used to hate both the
flying and the anticipation – so there were two issues there.
its physical response can be helpful and thinking this
through when not in a state of anxiety works best. This
is because the fight/flight/freeze response comes from
a deep-seated part of the brain (the amygdala) and when
we’re in that state, it temporarily knocks out a cognitive,
rational response (because when survival is at issue, the
body is telling you to react, not stop and think). Managing
the fear response and how it restricts you, starts with
understanding its cause, recognising it for what it is and
drawing on previously learnt and practiced resources
like mindful breathing or grounding techniques. If
professional help or CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy)
could be helpful, then try these. Calming the body helps
calm the mind, and vice versa, which is why mindful
breathing stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system,
helping to decelerate the heartbeat and the fear response.
Fear can be avoided through procrastination, too, when
we put off doing what makes us anxious until it looms
large and immobilises us. Thirty years ago, psychologist
Susan Jeffers published Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway
and there is something in just the title alone because often
the energy we use to swerve all this, all the ruminating and
avoidance tactics, actually surpasses the energy necessary
to get it done. Sometimes that fear is of failure, or being
laughed at or losing control, but only by challenging those
beliefs can we see if they are true or not. It can also be
helpful to visualise a situation, to remember when we did
something similar with confidence, and to think it through
calmly, holding a picture in mind of a successful outcome
– a safe flight, a job interview, or speaking in public.
Facing our fears often turns out to be way less frightening
than living with them. And as the ad says, sometimes you
have to ‘just do it’.

HARRIET GRIFFEY is a writer, journalist and author of over 20 books

on health and wellbeing. Her latest title, I Want to Be Creative
(Hardie Grant, £7.99), is out now.

18 WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM
 wellbeing

FAMILY TIME
The simplest of
family rituals, such as
sitting down to Sunday
lunch together, gives
us a send a sense of
belonging and
identity in childhood
and beyond.

With a strong sense

of self, you will feel
grounded and able to
take on anything.
 IDENTITY

FINDING
YOURSELF
Having a strong sense of identity allows us to feel grounded;
losing sight of it can be distressing. Karen Edwards looks at
ways of coping when we're struggling to know who we are

H
ave you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and
wondered, ‘who am I?’, or ‘who have I become?’?
This has happened to me twice in my life. The
first time was when I was in my 20s, while I was living
through a coercive relationship. I looked in the mirror one
day and examined my grey, lifeless skin and swollen eyes
and asked the me who stared back, ‘who are you? Why have
you let this happen?’.
The second was more recently while temporarily living
near my current partner’s home in rural South Australia.
Being British with Sri Lankan heritage, I stood out with my
darker skin and near-black hair. Unfortunately, this opened
me up to comments about my appearance and looks that
I hadn’t experienced before. It seemed as if my personality
was insignificant.
When I looked in the mirror, I no longer saw the happy,
bubbly, passionate ‘me’. Instead, a ‘freakish’-looking woman
who wasn’t liked or welcome stared back at me. ‘Who am
I?’ I asked myself. ‘Where has the real me gone?’.
According to American psychologist Abraham Maslow,
forming an identity begins at a basic level. In his paper
written in 1943, Maslow outlines five fundamental human
needs. He presents these in a pyramid formation, starting
at the base level with our physiological needs (health, food,
sleep), followed by safety (shelter, removal from danger),
belonging (love, affection, being part of a group), esteem
(self-esteem and esteem from others) and self-actualisation
(achieving individual potential). Maslow calls this the
‘Hierarchy of Needs’ and his findings have become widely

WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM 21
 wellbeing

acknowledged in understanding the human
condition. In fact, the pyramid model helps to
explain that while health, sleep and food are
necessities – a sense of safety and belonging,
esteem and achievement are also crucial in
developing who we are.
In addition, establishing likes and dislikes,
developing tolerances and creating moral
boundaries all help to build identity too.
Much of these come from what our parents or
guardians teach us as we grow up; the rituals
they bring into those early years and the stories
they share of their own childhoods.
As humans, we naturally observe
and absorb from those around
FINDING us, building an understanding
OUR TRIBE
of our backgrounds and of
We often define our
our family history. Even
identity in terms of a
larger group. Evolution our friends help to shape
has taught us that it’s us. As we grow, we
beneficial to be part of a have the opportunity to
‘tribe’ – where the roles fine-tune ourselves even
vital to daily survival further – through our careers
can be shared. and lifestyle choices, our
passions and the decisions that
we make.
“[This is why] it is human nature to want
to know who we are, where we are from and
find our purpose,” explains Madisyn Taylor,
a psychology expert and co-founder of self-
help website DailyOM. “Most people are able
to pick up clues as they live their lives. They
learn through life lessons and process the
answers as they go.” It is no wonder then, that
when one – or more – of these key elements are
called into question or lost, we can lose sight
of who we are.
In Australia, it was the prolonged looks and
double-takes that made me aware I didn’t fit
in. I reasoned that this was natural – we were
in a region that saw few tourists and even
fewer foreigners. Then came the comments:
“Ha! You can’t be from England,” with a nod
towards my face. Then the real humdinger of
a question (put to a friend, but referring to me),
“I don’t think it’s aboriginal, is it?”
There were other discussions, not directly
about me but people who look like me: the
danger we were to society and how we were
unwelcome. Slowly, the comments and
looks took effect. Why was I a danger? Was
I unwelcome here, too? I sunk into sadness.
In the mirror, I began seeing the woman
they saw: ugly and unwelcome in her skin.
I developed anxiety about going out, which
flared up my already-chronic IBS. Meeting
new people was terrifying as it allowed for my
identity to be questioned or stereotyped. I felt
constantly scrutinised. For the first time in my
life, I hated how I looked.
Deep down, I knew that many of those
comments came from people who had never
experienced a functioning multicultural
society. They had never experienced the
camaraderie that comes with mixing with
other cultures: learning languages, sampling
diverse food flavours and, best of all, forming
fascinating friendships. It has taken time to
feel comfortable socialising again, but returning
home to London has helped a lot. I’m just

KAREN EDWARDS
Karen Edwards is a travel and lifestyle journalist,
writing on topics including mental health issues,
solo travel and travel therapy. Read more on her
website www.travelbutterfly.com

22 WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM
 IDENTITY

Stacey’s story
I knew sports marketing was my dream career
from my first interview. I was successful in
a world I loved. Better still, I’d achieved it
for myself. The industry is male-dominated
and I got such a buzz from breaking down
misconceptions and gaining the respect of old-
fashioned senior managers. I was where I was
meant to be. I still glow when I talk about it.
Unfortunately, while on maternity leave, the
company re-structured, meaning potential
As we grow, we have redundancy. Then, I was offered an amazing
the opportunity opportunity with a huge brand. But in reality,
PKJAPQJAKQN returning to work at a new company to deliver
identities through our the biggest project of my career (and the
career and lifestyle company’s history) – while also juggling being
choices, passions and a new mum to a nine-month-old baby – didn't
the everyday decisions work. Following a psychological breakdown,
that we make. I made the decision to leave my job and the
industry. It wasn’t a choice but self-preservation.
It’s common to lose part of your identity when
you become a parent. You almost agree to hand
it over at childbirth and become a mum or dad.
By giving up my career, I lost the foundations of
what made me. I still miss who I strived to be.
The confident marketing professional is still in
here, but she is no longer my default setting.
I have proper time with my three children,
though, and that is incredibly important to me.
Plus, by changing direction, I blew the door of
opportunity wide open for me personally.

Stacey is now a trainer specialising in parental

first aid for children and babies at the-first-aid-
coach.business.site and daisyfirstaid.com

WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM 23
 wellbeing

another human being getting on with life here.

That’s all I want to be.
While questioning identity is not uncommon,
trying to establish our true identity can be
distressing. In some cases, family history
cannot be traced due to lack of records, making
the basic foundation of identity inaccessible.
Others might feel the need to leave behind an
old identity and to forge a new one that is truer
to who they have become.
Some people may have their identity
scrutinised. Being forced to defend your
identity – or have the essence of who you are
called into question – can be just as painful.
Some may even reluctantly choose to give up
a part of their identity – perhaps a career or
lifestyle. Each of these experiences means big
change and can be traumatic.
“Unfortunately, not everybody gets
THE QUEST the answers they crave and that
FOR GROWTH can feel like a gaping hole in our
According to Maslow, soul,” explains Madisyn. “We
the concepts of can’t control what the world
psychological wellbeing is doing and saying around
and identity are us. So this is where we need
intrinsically linked. It’s to use life lessons and skills.
a universal human “Ultimately, we need to
tendency to strive for
reach a place of acceptance in
growth, autonomy
ourselves. This takes patience
and identity.
and time. We all have different
methods of healing, but writing
about our experiences, practising yoga and
meditation help find peace.” It might also mean
asking for support – perhaps from loved ones
or through counselling.
“The single most important thing is to stand
fully in our own truth – and own it,” Madisyn
advises. Simply staying true to ourselves keeps
our identity in our own hands.”

MADISYN TAYLOR
Madisyn is editor of the popular self-help website
the Daily OM (www.dailyom.com). She has more
than 25 years' experience in alternative-healing
methodologies. Visit www.madisyntaylor.com

24 WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM
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wellbeing

Loneliness can affect us all – regardless of our

age, life stage, or even how full our lives appear
to be – yet self-care and compassion can help
us to nurture and renew connections

Overcoming
loneliness Words: Sarah Orme

28 WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM
 LONELINESS

M
aybe you have a busy work life, maybe you
work solo from home, maybe you have a
few friends you see often, or rarely, or lots of
friends you wish you had time to see more of. Whether
you are a shy person, an extrovert, single, or in a
relationship, loneliness can affect us all. It’s a subjective
feeling, which means we can be surrounded by other
people – close family, good friends, pleasant colleagues –
but still feel disconnected.
It’s no surprise that loneliness isn’t good for our health,
in fact a 2010 study declared that it can be as damaging
to our bodies as smoking cigarettes. Long-term loneliness
can put us at risk of conditions such as heart disease,
stroke and high blood pressure and it’s not good for our

WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM 29
wellbeing
mental health either with an increased risk of
depression, cognitive decline and dementia.
Counsellor, life coach and NLP practitioner
Anna Williamson explains that the feeling
of loneliness can be damaging for our self-
esteem too, creating a cycle that can be
difficult to break free from: “Psychologically
our confidence and self-esteem take a massive
drop. We start to think about things a little
more than we would normally. We become
more insular. We start ruminating and thinking
about what we should, or could, be doing – all
quite negative language, which tends to come
hand in hand with feeling lonely.”
Anna felt very lonely after the birth of
her son, when she suffered from post-natal
depression and PTSD. She found
it difficult to ask for help, even
though she knew friends
and family were willing
to offer support.
ANNA WILLIAMSON
Photography Anna Williamson
Anna is a counsellor, life coach and NLP
practitioner. She hosts her own show on
talkRADIO and has written a guide to
conquering anxiety called Breaking Mad.
30 WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM
“The overwhelming feeling of being a new
mum sent my anxiety levels through the roof.
I felt very lonely within my own head,” she
says. “I had lots of people willing and waiting
and wanting to help me, but when you’re
in that moment and you’re so riddled with
anxiety, it’s very difficult to even fathom what
you want and what you need.”
Loneliness is the main theme of Gail
Honeyman’s best-selling novel Eleanor
Oliphant is Completely Fine. Eleanor, who
is in her early thirties, can’t recall exactly when
someone last visited her home: “No one’s
been in my flat this year apart from service
professionals; I’ve not voluntarily invited
another human being across the threshold,
except to read the meter.” In creating her
character, Gail was inspired by a news story
she read about a young woman who could
go for a whole weekend without speaking
to another human being. Her novel charts
Eleanor’s story as she is drawn out of her shell
by a new friend, Raymond.
While Eleanor’s personal story is fictional,
the fact of her loneliness, and the anxiety she
feels at the idea of social contact, or asking for
help, will strike a chord with many of us.
Loneliness has been described in the media
as a modern-day epidemic, but what exactly
 LONELINESS

ironically it seems as though we’re actually less

connected and more lonely as a result.
“Social media can make us feel like everyone
else is having more fun than we are, that they
have stronger friendships and that they’re
going away on holiday together. I certainly
don’t do the things that I see lots of other
people engaging in and it’s easy to feel like
I’m not as connected,” says Suzy Reading,
psychologist, yoga teacher and author of
The Self-Care Revolution.
is causing it? Anna believes that loneliness For Suzy, the way we communicate has
has increased because our society has become changed dramatically in her lifetime and she
more dispersed: “The stats now say that one in reflects that things were different when
10 people are purporting to feel lonely. Talking she was younger: “I think if you
to those I work with and studies I’ve read show look at the way that we would
MODERN LIFE
there are many factors, but one is certainly that communicate as kids, you
In a BBC survey,
we often live further away from our family, so would go and run around older people said that,
that close-knit network of yesteryear tends to with the children on your looking back, they felt
be more fragmented. street after school, or you loneliest in young
“Opportunities are greater and wider. We would phone a friend from adulthood. So perhaps
can work in different countries and commute school and maybe spend modern life isn’t making
and all of that, and that’s great, but [it can a ridiculous amount of time some young people
mean] that we’re more removed from our on the phone. lonely, maybe it’s
family members than we used to be, or perhaps “Now it’s social media, always been life’s
even other cultures are. For example, with my where there is connection, but loneliest stage.
husband’s family back in Sicily, you’ve got the nature of the connection is
three or four generations still living within different and it’s not always positive, it’s
a hundred yards of each other.” not always constructive and you’re sitting in
The world’s largest study on loneliness, your house rather than being somewhere
compiled by the BBC last year, found that face-to-face. You’re removed by screens.”
around a third of people who completed the
survey often felt lonely, with young people
being most affected. Forty per cent of those
aged 16-24 reported that they often felt lonely
compared to 27 per cent of over 75s.
While social media gives us more ways
to connect with others than ever before,

SUZY READING
Suzy is a qualified psychologist, yoga
teacher and a health and fitness coach.
She has helped thousands of people
across the globe to navigate change.

WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM 31
wellbeing
According to Suzy, this loss of connection
can be psychologically damaging. “The need
to have a sense of belonging, connection, is one
of the cornerstones of wellbeing. So if we feel
disconnected, it’s the source of a great sense of
being unsettled. Feeling like you don’t fit in, it
leads to anxiety, it leads to depression. It can
manifest in feeling like we’re not good enough.
“Connection is literally food for the soul, so if
we’re missing that we feel fundamentally cut off
and un-nourished.”
Counteracting feelings of loneliness isn’t
always as simple as just joining a club. Finding
others who share your hobbies and interests
can benefit some people, however, for others it
can be overwhelming.
If you’ve been feeling lonely for a long time,
Suzy recommends starting small and finding
new ways to make connections: “We can
32 WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM
connect with people we don’t even know and
get a great sense of zest from that moment of
shared belonging and shared experience.
“This is not just feeling connected with your
nearest and dearest, which is of course very
important, but it’s the incidental connections
in your day that you can mine.
“It’s setting the intention to be in tune with
other people and we don’t have to necessarily
be massively skilled at it. It’s behaviour like
making eye contact, it’s listening, it’s asking
questions, it’s demonstrating an interest. It’s
cultivating a feeling of ‘we’re in this together’.
And that might be with the person who serves
you coffee, or the person who serves us when
we’re buying our groceries. It could be as
simple as you’re out for a walk or out for a jog
and you just give a passer-by a nod. That helps
us to feel like we’re plugged in.”
While our natural instinct is to want to
reach out and help people who are feeling
lonely, it’s important to recognise that some
individuals do, in fact, enjoy their own
company – particularly introverts, who often
need time by themselves to recharge after a
period of socialising.
People who are genuinely feeling lonely may
become withdrawn and less engaged with
friends and colleagues. “We all know what
to look out for, it’s when people are just not
themselves. They may not be contributing in
 LONELINESS

the same way or they may be withdrawing from

SAY IT OUT LOUD
social situations or look tearful or stressed, or
If there’s no-one to
they are saying worrying things,” says Suzy. talk to, try a little
If you’re in doubt, Anna recommends self-talk, out loud. If you
asking questions to see if the person you are have a worry, share it
concerned about does want to socialise more. with the air or express
“It’s all about communication and being what you are feeling
honest. If someone habitually spends time by aloud. Self-talk should
themselves and likes hanging out in their own be positive – be your
company, that’s fine. They aren’t lonely. Just own best friend!
because someone wants to be by themselves
doesn’t automatically mean that they’re lonely.
“But ask people that question: do you want
some company? Would you like to hang out?
Are there any times in the week that you would
like to socialise? And wait for their response.
They might say: ‘Actually, I find Sundays a bit
Who’s on
lonely, because everyone else is hanging out
doing fun Sunday things and I’m on my own
your team?
on a Sunday.’ So it’s asking people what meets IF YOU’RE FEELING LONELY, THESE
their needs. Some people feel lonely in the QUICK EXERCISES BY SUZY READING CAN
evenings. Some people feel lonely at lunchtime REMIND YOU WHO’S THERE FOR YOU:
on a Monday, for example. Find out what’s
going on in that person’s life and respect what Make a list of everybody in your life who is
they feel and discover what they need to make ‘on your team’. Look at that list and you might
sure that they are fulfilled.” go: ‘Oh my goodness, there are all these
people who are in my corner’. Seeing a list of
names is very galvanising. But if you feel you’d
like more people on your side...

Make time to nurture your connections.

Ask yourself whether you’ve nourished that
relationship recently and what you need to
do to strengthen your connections.

Play to your personal strengths. Think about

the various people who are part of your life
and how you can engage with them in the
most constructive way. Different people have
different strengths, so we come together in
different ways. Some individuals are naturally
gifted at being there for you when you need
someone to talk to, or a warm hug, so they’re
the people you go to when you need that
sort of interaction. Other people are great
problem-solvers and you go to those
people when you’re ready to hear that
information.

WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM 33
wellbeing

Find support
IF YOU FEEL THAT YOU CAN’T GO IT
ALONE, THERE ARE PLENTY OF SOURCES
OF HELP AND ADVICE OUT THERE:

MIND
www.mind.org.uk
Mind is a UK-based charity that offers lots of
advice for coping with loneliness. It also has an
online community, Elefriends (www.elefriends.
org.uk), if you need someone to talk to.

MEETUP
www.meetup.com
This handy website is a great way to
find activities and groups in your area,
covering everything from walking to life-
drawing classes. There’s no fee and no
obligation to go to any meetup.

THE GREAT GET TOGETHER

www.greatgettogether.org
Set up in memory of British MP Jo Cox, the
Great Get Together is a bi-annual event aimed
at bringing communities together.

THE LONELY HOUR PODCAST

www.thelonelyhour.com
Listening to the experiences of others can help
you to feel that you’re not alone. This podcast
presented by writer Julia Bainbridge ended in
2017, but there are lots of episodes for you to
catch up on.

GROWING OLD DISGRACEFULLY

www.growingolddisgracefully.org.uk
This network, founded by Shirley Meredeen,
now 85, is for older women who want to “make
friends, have fun and grow”.

34 WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM
 POSTCARDS

Wise words
Pull-out and pin up your postcards
for words of wisdom when you need
them, or send one to a friend to
brighten up their day.

Tap to
download

Illustration Olivia Watkins

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Here at FREEE by Doves Farm, we believe gluten free food should

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breakfast cereals that give you a great start to your day. We use
only the tastiest, naturally gluten free and organic ingredients
and make them with care on our family farm in Wiltshire.
Find us in the free-from aisles or at freee-foods.co.uk.
 wellbeing

Yogic
sleep
Longing for a better night’s sleep?
Kay Ribeiro looks to Yoga Nidra
to find a more restful state of mind
Photography Jesse Wild

WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM 37
wellbeing
“I’m really, really happy when
I sleep in Yoga Nidra because it’s
like wiping my hard drive”
H ands up if you’ve ever hankered after
a better night’s sleep, or longed for a
time when your mind wasn’t swirling
with a million and one thoughts? Quite a lot of
us, then! Yet we can feel so bogged down with
never-ending to do lists and overstimulated by
our digital devices that switching off can seem
impossible. So, on a quest to unwind fully and
reach peak relaxation, I decided to try Yoga
Nidra, AKA yogic sleep. It has been likened by
devotees to that magical time just before you
nod off, when your body is fully relaxed and
your mind is lucid.
Finding a class at triyoga in London, I meet
Leela Miller who has been teaching yoga
for more than 30 years and has practised
traditional Yoga Nidra for five. She explains
that this technique is a stillness practice that
helps down-regulate, or calm, the fight-or-
flight response of the sympathetic nervous
system and up-regulate (strengthen) the
relaxation response of the parasympathetic
nervous system, allowing access to deeper
layers of mental and physical health and
the unconscious mind. Put simply, it’s a
deep, guided relaxation that is mentally and
physically restorative and releases deep-seated
tensions and anxiety, improving your ability
to sleep peacefully.
While, in theory, you are supposed to
achieve and sustain a lucid dream state, people
who are really tired and stressed may nod off,
which is completely fine too. “I’m really, really
happy when I sleep in Yoga Nidra because
it’s like wiping my hard drive,” Leela muses.
38 WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM
“There have been times when I wake up and
I’m like, ‘I don’t know what time it is, I don’t
know what day it is’ and then I realise it’s been
just half an hour and everything is ok, and I feel
amazing.”
At the beginning of the class, we’re told to
lie in Savasana (corpse pose), on our backs
with our palms upturned and feet wide
apart, and to make ourselves as comfortable
as possible so we can deactivate our minds
and get in the zone. With a blanket over me,
another folded up as a pillow and a head
bandage around my eyes blocking out the light
(you can also use eye pillows), I feel blissfully
cocooned. Leela then instructs us to scan our
bodies and minds, letting go of any tension and
negativity we may be holding onto, and tells
us to set our Sankalpa – our intention. This is
something simple, positive, and personal to us
that we say internally at the beginning of the
practice and it enters our conscious minds; we
then repeat it at the end when we are hopefully
more open, allowing it to permeate our
subconscious minds.
Then it’s time for the ‘rotation of
consciousness’, which sounds baffling but
simply means drawing attention to different
areas of the body, one bit at a time. “Right
thumb, second finger, third finger, fourth finger,
fifth finger,” Leela says quickly in her flat,
evenly toned American accent and my mind
quickly jumps to each anatomical part. Later,
Leela explains this activates the corresponding
areas of the brain and helps raise awareness of
Photography Heather Elton Photography
parts of the body that otherwise go unnoticed.
 Clockwise from top right:
blankets can make you YOGA
feel safe and cocooned;
instructor Leela; Leela
guides a Yoga Nidra class;
eye pillows aid relaxation.

Try it at
home
PRACTISE YOGA NIDRA TECHNIQUES
BEFORE YOU GO TO SLEEP AND
ENJOY A MORE RESTFUL NIGHT

While guided classes are preferable

and available in yoga studios across the
country, you can make Yoga Nidra part
of your night-time routine by listening
to a CD in bed and then drifting off to
sleep. Go to www.leelamiller.com for
more details. Apps like Kardia, which
let you set a gong at regular intervals
to assist with your deep breathing, can
also recreate some of the effects of
Yoga Nidra. Doing 10-20 minutes, while
listening to soothing music and going
to your ‘happy place’ will help clear your
mind of any stresses and set you on
course for a good night’s sleep.

The overall effect is strangely soothing and I’m

now no longer thinking about work, but just
going with the flow.
Yogis believe you can control the mind
through the breath and the slow, conscious
breathing we do throughout the session works
towards strengthening the relaxation response
and suppressing the fight-or-flight response.
Photography Heather Elton Photography

“It’s a lot easier to get a good night’s sleep if

you’re not stressed. If you’re vibrating up here
[she gestures towards the ceiling] because
your stress response has hijacked you, then it’s
going to take a longer time to get to a relaxed
state,” Leela explains. As I continue to breathe
deeply, I can feel the tension palpably leaving

WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM 39

my body. The next stage is imagining we’re
heavy and rooted to the ground. By now, I’m so
under the spell that I genuinely feel as though
I’m sinking under an enormous weight.
A minute later and Leela is telling us to
imagine we’re floating away like an autumn
leaf – and my body, which seconds earlier had
felt leaden, inexplicably feels feather-light.
Apparently, this technique of experiencing
opposites taps into the yogic principle of
cultivating equanimity. “You’re trying to
establish that it doesn’t matter if you’re hot or
cold, heavy or light, happy or sad, and it’s ok,”
Leela says. “In the grand scheme of things, it’s
all ok.” Right now it’s better than ok, as I feel
like I’m being pulled deeper and deeper into
a heightened state of relaxation that I’ve never
experienced before.
We are then told to think of seemingly
random objects: a feather, an open book, a tree.
I do so unquestioningly, not understanding
why. It’s only afterwards that Leela explains
this is all to do with memories – specifically the
hippocampus, responsible for the processing
and storage of long-term memory and the
amygdala, responsible for determining their
corresponding emotions and moods. For one
person ‘a tree’ may conjure up happy memories
of Christmas time, while another may recall
40 WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM
Photography Heather Elton Photography
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HA=BPKBAAHEJC=ODA=RU=OHA=@7KC=,E@N=
P=LOEJPKPDAUKCE?LNEJ?ELHAKB?QHPER=PEJC
AMQ=JEIEPUKNATLANEAJ?EJCKLLKOEPAO
a past trauma of a tree falling on their house.
“Whether they’re good or bad memories, you
just see them – you don’t engage with them,
because by that time hopefully you’re super
relaxed,” Leela says. “You’re almost resetting
your reaction to it.”
We end the session with Leela inviting us
to picture an idyllic scene, laying out specific
details. The story is arbitrary but the aim is
always the same. As with the random objects,
the images can bring up memories
and buried emotions that are impacting in a
way we may not be aware of. “Once you make
the unconscious conscious, you have a choice,”
Leela later reasons. “If it’s unpleasant and
you are relaxed enough, you can look at it
and change your relationship to it and maybe
let it go.”
With that, it’s time to come to. Leela tells
us to consciously become aware of the room
and start making small movements with our
bodies. Pulled out of my dreamlike state, I’m
genuinely mystified how only 30 minutes has
gone by when it feels like I’ve been resting
for hours. Dopily I look around me and see
someone gently snoring to my left and another
stretching contentedly like a cat to my right –
and I realise, in Yoga Nidra, we’ve all found
our happy place.

DEAR AUNT JOSEPHINE
“My neighbours are
a nightmare”
OUR HOMES SHOULD BE A PLACE WHERE WE CAN RELAX,
SO THE STRESS CAUSED BY NOISY NEIGHBOURS CAN HAVE
A PROFOUND EFFECT ON OUR WELLBEING
Q
I’m having a total nightmare with my
neighbours. I’m 39 and I want a nice settled life
in my flat, whereas the people who live upstairs
are in their early 20s and still love partying.
Annoyingly, they slam doors, play loud music day and
night, have friends round constantly and they have even
hosted rehearsal sessions for their band.
I own my flat while my neighbours upstairs rent, and
although I know it’s just as much their home as it is mine,
it does make me angry that I’ve worked so hard for so
long to be able to afford somewhere nice, and now it’s
being ruined by really inconsiderate people.
I have tried to speak to them about it calmly and politely
and they say they’ve taken what I’ve said on board – but
it makes no difference. I don’t want to get their lettings
agent involved because they’ll be made aware of it and
it will be embarrassing when I see them. Now I feel
constantly stressed and on edge, even when I’m not
at home. I don’t know what to do.
Hassled of Hove
A
Home is meant to be a place where we can relax
and take refuge from the world. It’s completely
understandable to be feeling frustrated and upset.
Your flat is something that you have worked hard for and
have taken pride in, and now it feels like it’s under siege.
It sounds like you feel very powerless right now – but there
are positive steps of action you can take.
I would try the friendly course of action once more – but
do it on your terms and territory. Could you invite them
to your place for a cup of tea? This might feel like the last
thing you want to do, but if you can get them on your side
they will be more inclined to be more reasonable. You
could even point out where and how the noise affects you
so they are forced to imagine being in your shoes.
Rehearse what you are going to say beforehand. Be fair
but firm. Tell them that you respect they have their own
lives but that nothing has changed since you spoke to them.
Ask them outright – why do you think that is? What can we
wellbeing
do to rectify things, so we can all co-exist happily together?
Try to use language that unites you rather than creates a
‘you versus them’ situation. Set some new agreements there
and then. If they are holding a party (it does happen) they
could drop you a note beforehand, so at least you are
forewarned. As far as band practice goes, are we talking
Glastonbury levels of noise? The fact is that it’s a residential
block and not a recording studio (or a student hall).
If getting them together at your flat isn’t an option, you’ll
probably have to go and see them again. Take a friend if you
don’t want to go alone. Or are there other neighbours who
are also being affected by their antics? If there are more of
you, your noisy lot will have to take note. If that doesn’t
work, then go down the official route. You should definitely
talk to your neighbours’ lettings agent – that’s what they’re
there for. You should also think about contacting your local
council and start a noise pollution diary. All this takes time
and effort, I know. But if it’s short-term pain for long-term
gain, then all this effort will be worth it. And quite frankly,
it will only be embarrassing for them, not you.
Finally, as horrible as this experience has been for you,
could it be a sign? Would you consider moving and having
a new start in a place and area that is more suited to you
now? Relocating could be a good option to explore and
this would give you immediate hope from your current
situation. The bottom line is that you should never be
forced from your home. But equally, don’t force yourself
to stay somewhere for the wrong reasons when you could
actually be happier living somewhere else.
Life coach & author, Josephine Carnegie
holds a certificate in holistic counselling
but is best known for giving good advice.
Ask Aunt Josephine a question by sending
an email to her (hello@aunt josephine.co.uk).
Unfortunately, Aunt Josephine can’t enter
into personal correspondence.
WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM 41
wellbeing

HAPPY IN YOUR
OWN SKIN
Ward off the harshness of winter with
planet-friendly, cruelty-free lotions
designed to soothe and protect your skin.
Nutrient-rich ingredients will help to see
you through the unforgiving cold season
and keep your skin soft and supple...

42 WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM

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If the stuffy, drying winter months
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What’s more, it doubles up as
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Handy nail boost
With skin vying for attention in winter,
it’s easy to forget about our nails;
moisturising will keep them looking
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your mittens. Slather on skin-loving
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make them shine. The ingredients in
Akamuti Cuticle Moon Hand & Nail
Butter are fairly traded and organic.
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Terrific twosome
In need of a tonic to help keep your
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pomegranate oils to tackle winter skin,
this “reiki infused” duo is also
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£75 hemsleyorganics.com
Facial favourite
Said to contain properties that
help to protect skin cells, frankincense
is the current favourite when it comes
to keeping skin rejuvenated and
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balms, a light facial oil and
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you’ll never have to leave home
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From £7.50 www.lj-natural.com
Moisturising marvel
Loved by celebrities – Georgia
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brand Antipodes uses fully traceable
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Minis kit, Vanilla Pod Day Cream and
Divine Face Oil will keep your skin
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you’re on the move.
£14.99 www.kinetic4health.co.uk
WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM 43
Find a therapist you can trust with
the Federation of Holistic Therapists
(FHT) – ensuring high standards in
therapy education and practice for
more than 50 years.
FHT also holds the largest Accredited
Register of complementary therapists
to be independently approved by the
Professional Standards Authority for
Health and Social Care.

Visit fht.org.uk/findatherapist to find a therapist near you.


CRYSTAL THERAPY
CRYSTAL THERAPY IS A GENTLE, ENERGY-BASED THERAPY THAT AIMS
TO RESTORE BALANCE TO THE BODY, MIND AND SPIRIT
C
rystals have been revered by
different civilisations throughout
history; they’ve been used to
symbolise power and wealth, as a form of
protection, and for their medicinal and
healing properties.
It wasn’t until the 1980s, after the New
Age movement, that crystal therapy as
we know it today became popular. At
the time, books were starting to emerge
on the topic and work carried out by
American scientist Marcel Vogel into the
subtle energies in crystals, plants and
humans was gaining media attention.
Crystal therapy works on the principle
that energy flows throughout the body
and if this becomes stagnant or blocked,
it can result in poor health. “The aim
of a session is to retune your energy
system naturally, bringing your body,
mind and spirit back into balance
and restoring health,” explains Judith
Hadley, crystal therapy practitioner
and vice president of the Federation of
Holistic Therapists (FHT). “To do this,
your therapist will use different crystals,
which he or she will carefully select
based on your individual needs and
the crystals’ own unique energetic and
healing properties.”
Before treatment, a full consultation
will take place to establish any health
concerns you may have and what you are
hoping to gain from the session. You will
then be invited to lie back and relax, fully
clothed, while the therapist positions
crystals around or on the body.
“The crystals are often placed in a
specific pattern, with their colours
corresponding to those of the different
chakras or ‘energy centres’ of the body,”
HAVE YOU TRIED
Words: Karen Young
says Judith. “For instance, amethyst,
which has powerful healing qualities, is
linked to intuition and often placed by
the crown chakra, at the top of the head.”
The therapist might also use a crystal
pendulum to intensify the treatment and
help balance the chakras.
The crystals are kept in place for
between 10 and 45 minutes, with some
clients reporting tingling or warming
sensations. Others may feel nothing,
but Judith highlights that this doesn’t
necessarily mean the crystals haven’t
helped to balance their energy. “Much
depends on the person and how open
they are to energy work.”
Sessions last from 30 minutes to an
hour and cost between £25 and £120,
depending on the therapist, length of
treatment and location. Crystal therapy
can also be incorporated into other
modalities, such as massage, facials,
reflexology and meditation.
The Federation of Holistic Therapists
(www.fht.org.uk) is the UK and Ireland’s
leading professional association for
complementary, holistic beauty and
sports therapists.
CRYSTAL THERAPY
Five benefits of
crystal therapy
While there is very little research
available for crystal therapy, here
are some reported benefits:
As with many complementary
therapies, lots of people
find crystal therapy deeply
relaxing, making it a BEFORE YOU GO
useful antidote for Crystal therapy
everyday stress should only be used
and anxiety. alongside standard
medical care and not as an
Struggling to alternative. Consult your
sleep properly? GP or other health
professional for medical
Placing amethyst
attention and advice.
under your pillow or
next to your bed is said to
aid a good night’s sleep.
Blue lace agate is linked to
the throat chakra and allows
free expression of thoughts and
feelings, making it a good choice for
those who are struggling to
communicate effectively.
Animals, including horses, that
are particularly nervous or
unsettled, can benefit from crystal
therapy – just like humans.
Rose quartz and green
malachite are both crystals of
‘unconditional love’. They are linked
to the heart chakra, and believed to
promote self-love, trust, inner healing
and peace, making them useful in
times of trauma or crisis.
WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM 45
wellbeing
Out with
the old
Many of us have old grievances that we
resurrect by throwing them on the bonfire of
a new argument. It’s time to cast them out
Words: Natalie Lue
R
idding ourselves of anything that we don’t
truly need or that doesn’t ‘spark joy’ is
something that millions of people are
attempting. Most of us are uncomfortable with the
idea of being a hoarder, and yet, we don’t pay enough
attention to, for instance, the grudges we cart about
with us from argument to argument.
These are circular disagreements: old grievances
that we resurrect by throwing them on the bonfire
of a new argument. We go round and round
because we keep giving an issue new life by
bringing it up in the heat of the moment.
Why do we harbour old disagreements,
almost saving them up to drag
out in our next conflict?
46 WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM
Despite essentially being on the same team in our
intimate relationships, conflict speaks to a part of us
that takes on an ‘eat or be eaten’ mentality. We want to
win, to be right, to feel like the ‘less at fault’ one or the
injured party. Unfortunately, this means that we can
find ourselves ‘lawyering up’ and, in some instances,
we will drag in everything but the kitchen sink to
thwart our opponent and win the case.
The problem, of course, is that they’re a loved one,
not our enemy. After all, with people who we fear loss
of reputation, or where we know it would be churlish
or petty to bring up the past, we don’t. That’s why
we tend to resist engaging in circular disagreements
at work. We do our best to stick to the issue at hand,
even if it’s with gritted teeth.
With circular disagreements, relevance to the
current issue (or even how old and resolved it was) is
ignored. It becomes all about evidence. “Look! Here’s
proof that you’re clueless!” Or, “Let me present
Exhibit A-Z of that massive screw-up because you
haven’t paid for it enough yet.” Or, “If you’re going
to highlight my old error, right back at ya!”
Most disagreements drag on, not because we’re
actually trying to understand each other’s perspective
or reach a resolution – but because we’re arguing
about how we’re arguing. When we resurrect a
circular disagreement, they retaliate. Or, we perceive
them pointing out the unfairness or immaturity of our
argument as retaliation. And round and round we go.
The truth is, even if making an old point could

underscore or reinforce our current one, doing so
sparks more conflict. It detracts from our position
(causing further defensiveness) plus it alienates our
loved one. If we see our goal as winning or being
‘right’ then someone has to be the loser, wrong, more
at fault or the perpetrator. This may be fine for battles
and courtrooms, but it is not so great when it comes
to our intimate, loving relationships.
There’s a universal principle that applies to all
conflict in intimate relationships: It’s not about who’s
right but what’s right for the relationship.
Revisited too often, circular disagreements hamper
the growth of our relationship. They can damage trust
and create reticence around raising issues, admitting
mistakes and letting things go. After all, if something’s
going to keep coming up time and again, why attempt
to change at all? Why try to resolve things?
So, how do we get off the merry-go-round?
• Leave arguments where we left them. Accept
that it’s ‘done’ when the disagreement ends. Or,
admit that we didn’t fully express ourselves and
that a resolution hasn’t been reached so that we
can broach a constructive discussion. This is way
better than slowly drip-feeding our hints about our
discontentment over something.
• Acknowledge the baggage behind the argument.
Where did you learn to disagree in this way? How do
past experiences of conflict affect your management
of disagreements in the present? What is your fear of
‘losing’ or letting go really about?
RELATIONSHIPS
• Stick to the subject at hand. Resist the temptation
to present evidence. Yes, this also means resisting the
urge to retaliate when they go circular. Instead, it’s far
better to say, “Yes, I know that, but let’s stick to the
topic at hand.” Or, “I thought we’d agreed to let that
go. Do we need to talk that through?”
• What’s the resolution? Sometimes we don’t
express what we’ve learned, what we want to change
or that we were disappointed by how something
was handled. And sometimes we don’t acknowledge
that there isn’t a resolution because it was down to
a misunderstanding and humanness. Very often, it
turns out that the resolution lies in being willing to let
go of the need to have behaved perfectly in the past
so that the relationship, including any disagreements,
can evolve properly in the future.
• Remember: if you don’t go circular or take the
bait, a circular disagreement can’t keep burning.
Natalie Lue
Natalie Lue is the author of
five books aimed at helping
people break unhealthy
relationship patterns.
Read her blog at www.
baggagereclaim.com and
follow her on Insta @natlue
WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM 47
wellbeing
How motivated
are you?
Do you have the motivation and desire to
succeed? Or are there times when your self-
confidence and determination waver? Take our
quiz to find out how focused you are, then turn
the page for Annika Rose’s advice on how to tap
into your inner enthusiasm and aspiration…
WHAT’S YOUR APPROACH
WHEN IT COMES TO GETTING
THINGS DONE?
A I’m always looking for ways to improve
my performance.
B I do the best I can…
C I often get overwhelmed and struggle
to finish what I start.
YOU WIN A THREE-MONTH
MEMBERSHIP PASS FOR YOUR
LOCAL GYM. DO YOU:
A Book in with a personal trainer and set
yourself manageable goals to work
towards over the next three months.
B Try to do a weekly class when you can
fit it in.
C Stick it on your fridge and forget
about it.
48 WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM
HOW DO YOU APPROACH A ASSIGNMENT, WHAT DO YOU
NEW CHALLENGE AT WORK? NOTICE FIRST:
A I’m confident that I’ve got the skills to A Excitement to be taking on a new
do it well. project.
B Whenever I doubt myself, I push B A nagging doubt you won’t be able to
through to prove myself wrong. do it well.
C I avoid challenges, as I’m worried C Relief that someone else in the group
I might fail. is likely to take responsibility for
completing the task.
WHEN IT COMES TO LIFE
GOALS, DO YOU: WHEN AN OBSTACLE GETS
A Dream big and create a five-year plan IN THE WAY OF ACHIEVING
to make it happen. A GOAL, I…
B Love to daydream, but lack the A Immediately create a plan B and
confidence to go for it. push on.
C Feel quickly discouraged. B Take a break, then rethink and work
out my next steps.
YOUR MANAGER/LECTURER C Take the hint and give up – it’s a sign
SETS YOU A GROUP that it wasn’t meant to be…

IN A MOMENT OF OPTIMISM,
YOU SIGN UP FOR THE LOCAL
HALF MARATHON. DO YOU:
A Set up a training programme and look
forward to getting fit.
“Believe B Go on the odd run when you can and
hope for the best.
you can and C Decide to phone in sick on the day.
you’re halfway HOW DO YOU GIVE YOURSELF
A BOOST WHEN YOUR
there.” MOTIVATION STARTS TO FLAG?
A Imagine yourself achieving your goal
and how great it’ll feel, and resolve to
Theodore Roosevelt keep going.
B Open a bottle of wine and decide to
think about it tomorrow.
C Do nothing – things will improve on
their own.
MOTIVATION
Score your answers
Mostly As:
Wow, you’re a real go-getter! Your
thirst to succeed is taking you places
and your ambition drives you to get
what you want. Be sure to take stock
of your achievements and enjoy the
fruits of your labour. Stay mindful of the
consequences when working as
hard as you do to achieve all that you
desire. Aim to create a healthy flow
that includes time to pause and time
to press on.
Mostly Bs:
You’re doing really well, but there are
times when you can afford to be more
confident. When you apply yourself to
something you’re passionate about,
you see great results. However, at times
you struggle to strive for success and
are overcome with doubt. It’s easy to
become overwhelmed when you find
yourself here and thoughts of quitting
can creep in. Take a breather and try
speaking to your go-getter friends and
family to help you make good choices
about how to motivate yourself, then
move towards your goals in a way that
feels right for you.
Mostly Cs:
We all lose direction from time to time
and, right now, something is holding
you back. You’re struggling to apply
yourself fully in one or more domains
of life, lacking the confidence, energy
and motivation needed to visualise and
pursue your goals. At times like this, it’s
helpful to revisit what excites you most.
What lights you up? What causes are
you most passionate about? Start by
setting your sights there and trusting
you’ve got everything you need to act
now. Take small, consistent steps to help
you build your confidence gradually.
Stretch yourself a little more than you
are – and you’ll soon see what’s possible
when you do!
WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM 49
wellbeing
How to find
your mojo
What are the goals you really want
to achieve? Are you ready and raring
to go, or finding reasons not to take
action? Read on for Annika Rose’s
insight into how to motivate yourself
and focus on moving positively
towards your dreams
INNER STRENGTH
When it comes to the source of your
ambition, a range of internal and external
forces will be at play. Internal (or intrinsic)
motivation leads you to do something
simply because you enjoy it. External
(extrinsic) motivations may include praise,
status, money or accolades. Friends, family,
your boss or society can all influence –
even dictate – your goals and impact on
your motivation from the outside. While
there’s nothing wrong with working to earn
a paycheck, studying to get good grades
or competing to win an award you’ve been
encouraged to aim for, research suggests
it’s more fulfilling to be driven by intrinsic
motivation. Having a personal desire to
achieve something is the kind of motivation
that lasts longer and ultimately leads to
achieving greater successes in life.
50 WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM
TAP INTO YOUR PASSIONS
If you’re stuck in a rut and your drive has taken a wrong turn,
fear not. Your motivation hasn’t departed, it’s simply not being
channelled in the right way at the moment. The biggest hurdles
to overcome on the way to achieving what we want are often the
ones we’ve created in our own heads. When your motivation is
dwindling, it’s worth revisiting what brings you joy. Identifying
the link between what you’re passionate about and what you’re
currently pursuing will make you far more likely to stick at it.
Setting your sights on something that excites you and having
a clear and meaningful ‘why’ can do wonders for your wellbeing.
Researchers Deci and Ryan developed Self-Determination
Theory to explain how healthy motivation is attained and
sustained. They identified three basic human needs to explain
what keeps us engaged: autonomy, feeling in control of your
own behaviour and goals; competence, mastering tasks and
learning different skills; and relatedness, feeling connected to
other people. When these needs are met, we feel good and
function well, gaining a sense of control over our goals and our
life. It’s far easier to flourish from a place of self-determination.
 MOTIVATION

REACHING FOR THE SKY

Just as it’s important to understand what motivates you,
having a solid understanding of what holds you back can
help you to overcome it. Fear of failing is a common worry
that regularly gets in the way of being bold, speaking up or
releasing your creativity. Try silencing your inner critic for just
a moment – in reality, what’s the worst that can happen if you
decide to go for it? It does take dedication because we all have
these inbuilt insecurities and internal struggles to face and
process. Any highly motivated person will tell you they’ve had
to work on themselves and deepen their self-awareness to
move past the very same blocks that might be holding you
back right now. The good news is that once you do, the sky
will be the limit…

PUT IT INTO PRACTICE

“It always seems Visualise. Close your eyes and use your
impossible until imagination to dream up what’s possible.
Watch yourself achieving your goals. Then
it’s done.” start taking steps towards making your
Nelson Mandela dreams into a reality.

Learn. Take in as much knowledge as you

can. Speak to people, be curious and find
out the facts about what it takes to gain the skills to
succeed. Surrounding yourself with ambitious people will
help you to learn from them and their experiences and
motivate you further.

Focus on you. Rather than working towards what

others think you should do, or comparing yourself to
“We may encounter others, work out what’s most important to you and what
you deeply desire. Stay true to yourself and focussed on
many defeats, but achieving what lights you up!

we must not be Rethink an existing goal. If you’re struggling to

achieve something, reframe it in a clearer and more
defeated.” positive way. For instance, switch “I want to lose weight”
to “I want to be fit and healthy enough to run the
Maya Angelou Manchester 10K with my best friend in May to raise money
for MIND”. This has the power to rapidly transform your
goal from a chore into something you just can’t wait to do.

Get clear. Having crystal clarity on what you’re setting

your sights on will help you to aim high and allow you
to go get it.

WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM 51
wellbeing

The quiet
revolution
Could watching a sensory video of someone
whispering or folding paper help you feel calm
and even sleep better, asks Bethan Rose Jenkins

52 WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM
 ASMR

WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM 53
wellbeing

I
have always envied those who could
slip into sleep like it was a hot bath. For
me, unwinding and relaxing at the end
of the day tended to come with a list of
preconditions. Unless all of those boxes were
ticked, switching off felt like a distant reality.
But then one day, when I was scrolling
instead of sleeping, I stumbled across a
YouTube video of a woman tapping a piece
of cork. Curiously, as I watched, I experienced
a tingling sensation at the back of my head,
it was like having my hair brushed as a child.
I felt my limbs begin to release and relax down
into the soft mattress. I quickly clicked on
another video and, like Alice into Wonderland,
I tumbled down the rabbit hole of the
intriguing phenomenon that is ‘ASMR’.
Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response
or ‘ASMR’, is the term used to describe
a physical reaction, like a soothing tingle,
which is triggered by an audio or visual cue.
You might find that watching somebody paint
or do origami is quite relaxing. You may even
notice a warm, goosebump-like feeling as you
become gradually absorbed by a piece of paper
being pressed into neat folds or by hearing
the paintbrush gently stroke across a textured
canvas. This feeling is ASMR.
ASMR is a generally pleasurable and calming
sensation but it is a distinctly non-sexual
experience. Everyday encounters such as
a beauty appointment or a shoe-fitting have
been known to prompt this response.
More recently, the term has become
synonymous with the videos that try to induce
this feeling. YouTubers known as ‘ASMRtists’
tap or stroke particular objects, speak softly,
make clicking sounds or perform calming,
everyday tasks to prompt the physical ASMR
reaction. These actions are known as ‘triggers’.
“It’s not too dissimilar, for instance, to music
chills,” says Dr Thomas Hostler, a lecturer
in psychology from Manchester Metropolitan
University. “When you hear a piece of really
epic music or a really awe-inspiring speech
for instance, you might get these kinds
of shivers.”
You may well have heard of ASMR and you
may have already discovered its benefits, as its
popularity is growing rapidly. According to
statistics from Google, ‘ASMR’ is typed into
the YouTube search bar nearly three times
more often than the word ‘chocolate’!

DR THOMAS HOSTLER
A lecturer in psychology at Manchester
Metropolitan University, Dr Hostler was
part of a team researching the
physiological effects of ASMR.

54 WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM
 ASMR

Many people watch these kinds of videos
to unwind or to help them sleep. One small
study even suggested ASMR can temporarily
ease some symptoms of chronic pain and
depression for some people, but more research
is needed. “ASMR has helped with my
anxiety,” says Carina Ortiz, a full-time student
who began watching videos three years ago to
relax before going to bed. “It’s a feeling that
brings peace to the mind and body. I’d even
go as far as to call it a form of meditation.”
Experts aren’t entirely sure exactly what
causes ASMR and why people experience
it as they do, but the area is beginning to
receive scientific interest. Dr Hostler and
his fellow researchers wanted to determine
whether ASMR videos really can influence
a physical response. “Our study showed that
this was possible,” he says. “When people
experienced ASMR, it did seem to decrease
their heart rate and show signs of relaxation.”
Dr Hostler’s research concluded that ASMR
could have real health benefits for some people,
although others do not experience these
‘brain tingles’ at all.
While it might not work for everyone, there
are currently more than 5.2 million ASMR
videos on YouTube alone. In a fast-moving
world, it seems that many of us are turning
to technology to help us tune out. On BBC
Radio 3’s ‘Slow Radio’, for instance, you can
listen to musicians playing in harmony with
nightingales, or tune in to the soothing sounds
of a Japanese paddy field in summer.
Celebrities like Margot Robbie, Cara
Delevingne and Cardi B have even created
some of their own relaxing videos. Often,
it is the sense of safety and familiarity with
ASMRtists that helps us unwind. In one video,
actress Jennifer Garner engages with props that
are reminiscent of some of her most popular
on-screen roles. This recognition helps us to
create a connection and feel at ease with her.
For this reason, many ASMRtists talk softly
like a friend or role-play a familiar scenario
in their videos. Some channels also follow
particular themes. “Gaming and sci-fi are
interests of mine and I saw a gap in the
ASMR community,” says Sophie Moates, who
interacts with Star Wars memorabilia and
plays video games on her UK-based channel,
ASMRplanet. “The world can be a stressful
place and being able to watch an ASMR

SOPHIE MOATES
ASMRtist Sophie is also a freelance
designer and collage artist. Find her
gaming and sci-fi themed ASMR videos
on her YouTube channel ASMRplanet.

WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM 55
wellbeing

video [can make you] feel comforted, safe
and happy.”
ASMR videos can be especially useful
before bedtime. You might struggle to sleep
at the weekends when you are out of your
usual routine, or during the week when
you are trying to switch off after work or
studying. ASMR can also be used to de-
stress, particularly if you struggle with more
traditional meditation exercises. Watching a
calming video can help hold your attention and
pull your thoughts away from those niggling
everyday tensions.
If you’re trying ASMR for the first time,
YouTube is a wonderful place to start. “Find
your own preferred videos,” advises ASMRtist
Sophie. “Sometimes the most popular videos
won’t give you the ASMR effect but videos
with just 100 views will.”
Once you’ve found a channel you’re
interested in, climb into bed or curl up
with a blanket on the sofa. Take some deep,
calming breaths so you are prepared to begin
relaxation. “It helps if you aren’t too agitated
when you sit down to try and watch [ASMR
videos],” says Dr Hostler. “Try and get some
good headphones and a quiet room.”
Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response is
a very individual experience, so don’t be put
off if it takes a little time to find the triggers
that work for you. When you begin watching
a video, slow down your breathing and try
to release any tension in your joints. Let the
muscles in your face soften and your body
become heavy. If you start to feel a tingling
sensation, relax into it. Allow the feeling to
wash over your head and down your spine.
Focus on the sounds and movements from the
video and move away from any busy thoughts
relating to the outside world.
“The mind is a powerful tool,” says Carina.
“I think ASMR is the way to put it at ease.”

BETHAN ROSE JENKINS

Bethan is a feature writer with a special
interest in women’s issues, including
women’s health and wellbeing, period
poverty and feminism.

56 WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM

Find your
tingle trigger
NOT SURE WHERE TO START? HERE ARE SOME OF THE MOST POPULAR ASMR VIDEOS
YOUTUBE HAS TO OFFER, FROM SOOTHING ACCENTS TO BRUSHSTROKES
GIBI ASMR
American ASMRtist Gibi (pronounced gee-bee)
is one of the most popular on YouTube. She
has over 1.5 million subscribers and more than
7 million views on some of her most watched
videos. Gibi is a good safe bet to start you off
with ASMR, as her channel incorporates many
of the most common triggers.
WHISPERSRED ASMR
Dr Thomas Hostler recommends the
WhispersRed channel, which is run by one
of most followed ASMRtists in the UK, Emma.
She has a warm, motherly appeal and is a
particularly good option if you are thinking
about trying ASMR to help you sleep.
LILY WHISPERS ASMR
ASMRtist Lily particularly appeals to teenagers
or younger women as her channel includes
ASMR role-playing videos, where she becomes
your best friend at a nail bar or gives you a
makeover as Kylie Jenner! Lily also has videos
specifically designed for panic attacks, where
she talks to you like a friend, reassures you and
guides you through breathing exercises.
ASMRPLANET
Sophie has been curating her gaming and sci-fi
themed channel, ASMRplanet, for the past two
ASMR
years. “The most rewarding part about making
ASMR videos is the fact that they actually
help people,” says ASMRtist Sophie. “It’s not
just entertainment, but it can actually make a
difference to people’s lives.”
SOUTHERNASMR SOUNDS
Sophie at ASMRplanet also uses videos herself
to relax while she works on her art. One of her
favourite accounts is SouthernASMR Sounds.
ASMRtist Mary is like a favourite aunt. She
takes you around the supermarket with her, and
reads through magazines or books with you.
GWENGWIZ ASMR
One of Carina Ortiz’s favourite accounts is
@GwenGwiz. ASMRtist Gwen runs a younger,
lifestyle themed account. She combines
makeovers, travel vlogs and clothing hauls with
ASMR. “[GwenGwiz] makes you feel like you’re
her friend, not a viewer,” she says.
BOB ROSS VIDEOS
An unexpected ASMR icon is 80s and 90s star
of TV show, The Joy of Painting, artist Bob
Ross. Many people enjoy watching him paint
and talk calmly about his work, even though
he didn’t film the clips with an ASMR response
in mind. This is what Dr Hostler calls an
‘accidental’ ASMR video.
WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM 57
 listicle
{lis-tik-ul}
noun
Great stuff presented
wholly or partly in
the form of a list.
5 uplifting
podcasts
WHETHER YOU NEED A BOOST, SOME SAGE ADVICE OR A
MOMENT OF CALM, THESE PODCASTS ARE SURE TO INSPIRE
Words: Sarah Orme

COURAGE & SPICE

If you struggle with self-doubt, this
podcast created by Sas Petherick should
be your go-to series. Sas has an MA in
Coaching and Mentoring – specialising in
self-doubt. “Personally, my self-doubt is one
of my greatest teachers and richest sources
of growth. It still feels awful when it strikes,
but now I see it for what it is: a completely
understandable response to psychological
risk,” she says. Each episode covers a
different theme with regular guests.
@saspetherick
Photography Katrina Bartlam

58 WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM

Photography by Becki Rui
THE CALMER YOU
Anxiety can be exhausting, but Chloe Brotheridge
is here to help. Hynotherapist and author of The Anxiety
Solution, she also hosts The Calmer You Podcast. Chloe
says: “I started the podcast because I wanted to create
something that would be a friendly, informative and
reassuring word in someone’s ear. I get messages every day
from listeners who say the podcast feels like therapy and has
given them lots of tools and insights to manage their anxiety.”
@chloebrotheridge
Photography: Susan Bell
FEEL BETTER, LIVE MORE
Dr Rangan Chatterjee’s popular podcast is all about
making positive lifestyle changes so that you’re both
healthier and happier. He’s a firm believer in treating the
person, rather than the illness. Each episode covers a
different health or wellbeing topic such as sleep, meditation
or gut health. Dr Rangan interviews experts to discover their
tips for a better life. There’s a new episode to download
every Wednesday.
@drchatterjee
LISTICLE
Photography Matt Crockett
MADE OF HUMAN
Danish comedian Sofie Hagen’s podcast covers
wide-ranging topics – everything from yoga to jealousy.
It’s all about the experience of being human: the good and
the bad. In each episode, she talks to a lovely person about
what it means to be human and how we can cope with life’s
highs and lows. As the episodes sometimes cover serious
topics, they’ll often have a trigger warning so you can
decide whether or not to listen to a certain episode.
@sofiehagendk
HAPPY PLACE
Now on its second series, Fearne Cotton chats to
various celebrities and encourages them to speak frankly
about their mental health, including actor Stephen Fry,
comedian Russell Brand, actor Lena Headey and the multi-
talented Dawn French. Every interview feels very relaxed,
so the tone can be intimate and moving. This podcast is
split into series so it’s hard to form a regular listening habit,
but you can binge on the back episodes and catch up.
@fearnecotton
WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM 59
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 MAGAZINE

Photography Hutomo Abrianto

HOW MINDFUL EATING CAN HELP US FEEL GOOD

ABOUT FOOD; MEET FIVE INSPIRING FOOD-POSITIVE
BLOGGERS; WHY FEBRUARY IS ALL ABOUT NESTING;
AND, TURN YOUR HOME INTO A WELLNESS HAVEN.
living

It’s not
just what
we eat...
How we eat is as important as the foods we choose.
It was her 11-year-old’s cheese sandwich that taught
health coach Suzy Glaskie about mindful eating
itting down with my daughter after her first day
S at secondary school, I fired a barrage of questions
at her. “Did you make new friends? Were the
teachers nice?” She, however, was ravenous and entirely
focused on getting herself a sandwich. Nothing fancy
you understand: just a piece of cheese wedged between
two slices of bread. She looked at me pointedly and
said: “Mummy, I’ll tell you all about it in a bit. I just
want to enjoy eating this sandwich in quiet. Without
any distractions.” So I bit my lip, held my tongue and
watched my daughter as she closed her eyes, smiled
blissfully and said “Mmmm” as she chewed – and
I finally appreciated what it meant to eat mindfully.
Though I’d attended courses, read books and
completed exercises on the subject, it took an 11-year-old
child to truly show me mindful eating. You see, it’s not
something that comes naturally to me; as I write this
feature, I’m reminded of the old truism – that we teach
what we need to learn. Like many women, I’ve developed
the ostensibly (but not really) useful habit of doing
several things at once: like eating my lunch while reading,
working or scrolling, for instance.
MINDFUL EATING
I’ve been guilty of smugly eating a fabulously healthy
diet – while barely noticing it. And I know I’m not alone.
Our social media feeds are awash with healthy recipes
and there’s no end of focus on the quality of our food.
But there’s comparatively little focus on how we eat it –
and actually that makes all the difference. How many of
us apply our attention to eating slowly, mindfully and
with enjoyment? We live in a fast-paced grab-
and-go culture where it’s all about eating on
the hop – the quicker the better. RAISIN
Lunch is eaten “al-desko”, glued MEDITATION
to our computer screen, or grabbing Employ all five senses
mouthfuls with one hand on the by first looking at a
steering wheel. We’re so used raisin, then touching it
to compressing time that we’ve and smelling it. Next,
taste it and listen to the
downgraded eating to something to be
sounds it makes as you
squeezed in while we’re doing something chew and swallow.
else. I see this all too frequently in the
women I coach; over-stretched mums who
serve everyone else their dinner and then, rather
than sitting down, walk around the house with their plate,
picking at it while they lay out school uniforms.
WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM 63
 living

Penelope Silver, a holistic practitioner based
in Cheshire, and mother of two daughters aged
11 and 13, found she did exactly that. “I used
to eat running about or in the car on the way to
an after-school class. I’d just shove [the food]
down my throat,” she recalls.
Yet there’s a significant cost to mindless
eating. When we don’t fully experience our
meals, we don’t pay attention to whether we’re
hungry or not – or whether we are full or
not. Eating while we’re hurried, distracted or
anxious means we’re trying to fuel ourselves
with our sympathetic (ie fight or flight) nervous
system switched on. This makes it more
likely our body will store most of it
as fat, and we might also bring
on indigestion. Plus, the stress
FOOD CYCLE hormones affect our blood
Think about where the sugar and insulin levels,
food you’re about to eat meaning that we’re far more
comes from: the soil it is likely to crave sugary junk
planted in and the afterwards. “Since choosing
water and sun that to eat mindfully, I eat much
helped it to grow.
more slowly and I fully engage
with the food,” says Penelope.
“This has helped my digestion
massively – I suffer from gastritis and
have to think carefully about what I eat. I’m
now conscious of the different colours and
textures and discuss with my daughters where
the food comes from. It’s changed our whole
dynamic of eating together.”
Amanda Ferguson, a teaching assistant from
Lancashire whose daughter is now 22, also
found that eating mindfully has had a hugely
positive impact on her relationship with food.
“Food used to be nothing but fuel to me,” she
says. “I used to eat on the move on the way
home from work or while scrolling on my
phone. I never really sat down at the table.
Food was always the enemy: I tried every diet
going and would take laxatives and starve
myself. That all changed after a seven-week
mindful eating course which taught me to think
about what I was eating and to pause before
I ate. That pause made all the difference. I now
ask myself: ‘Do I really want that?’
“I sit at the table and make sure it’s cleared of
any distractions. I pause in between mouthfuls
and I’m now completely focused and present
when I eat. I never used to enjoy food but now
I’m in heaven just having a simple, freshly
prepared salad – I’ll be there, eyes closed,
going “Mmmm”. I’m also talking about
food much more with my partner – it’s now
something positive to be celebrated. I’m so
much more organised as well: in the evenings
I prepare little glass pots of nutritious food to
take to work the next day and feel pretty smug
lining them up in the staff room.”
There’s plenty of research to back up the
positive changes that Penelope and Amanda
are enjoying. A study in the The American
Journal of Clinical Nutrition (August 2011)
showed that longer chewing resulted in fewer
calories being consumed and better levels of
appetite-regulating hormones that tell our
brain when to stop eating. Another study,
published in the Journal of the American
Dietetic Association (July 2008), showed that
eating more slowly decreased food intake and
increased feelings of satiety in healthy women.
So there’s every reason to train ourselves to eat
more mindfully… but where to start changing
ingrained habits? On the next page, I share a
few tips that I’ve found helpful...

SUZY GLASKIE
Suzy Glaskie is a Functional Medicine Certified
Health Coach and founder of health and wellbeing
practice, Peppermint Wellness. Find more tips and
inspiration by following Suzy’s blog at
www.peppermintwellness.co.uk

64 WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM

Training ourselves to take more time tasting and enjoying
food can help our bodies to know when we are full;
reading or scrolling at meal times is a no-no; get into
the habit of eating at the table.
MINDFUL EATING
Suzy’s top tips for
eating mindfully
SET THE TABLE – AND SIT DOWN AT IT!
Standing by the fridge or walking down the road is no way
to eat. Clear space so you’re not eating amid clutter, and
lay down some cutlery – give food some respect!
TAKE A FEW DEEP BREATHS FIRST
This will relax and ground you, shifting your nervous
system to a resting state, where your body can digest and
extract the maximum nutrition from your meal.
SIT TALL
You may be hunched forward over a plate – a posture
which signals stress to your nervous system. Instead,
consciously plant both feet flat on the floor, your backside
fully on the seat and your back straight. This will place your
tongue and throat directly over your shoulders, giving your
food a gravity-friendly path – and you a sense of calm.
DITCH THE DISTRACTIONS
That means no TV, radio, mobile phones, computer or
magazines/books/newspapers at the table.
TAKE YOUR TIME
Slow down. Relaxation plays a critical role in how our
bodies digest our food. See if you can put your fork down
between bites (it might seem excruciating at first!).
CHEW CHEW CHEW
Remember that your stomach doesn’t have teeth!
Chewing is one of the best ways to maintain a healthy
digestive system and we’re recommended to chew each
bite at least 50 times. But I’m not convinced it’s helpful
to obsess about the number of chews. So here’s a more
realistic aim: chew until the food is smooth, mushy and
loses all texture before you swallow it.
ENJOY YOUR FOOD
Stop and savour the different aspects of your food: how it
looks, its aroma, flavours and texture. Try to bring to mind
a feeling of appreciation for your meal – and for all those
who pitched in during the process of getting it to you.
CHECK IN WITH YOURSELF
Take a pause for a few minutes and check in with your
body to gauge how full you are.
WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM 65
 listicle
{lis-tik-ul}
noun
Great stuff presented

5 food-positive
wholly or partly in
the form of a list.

advocates
THESE NUTRITIONISTS, THERAPISTS AND TRAINERS OFFER
ADVICE ON HOW TO TUNE IN TO YOUR BODY’S NEEDS
Words: Katharine Bennett

TALLY RYE
Tally is a personal trainer who
prioritises health and happiness over
weight loss or body transformations.
For her, having nutrition and diet advice
available at the touch of a button is a
challenging topic: “There is so much
conflicting information out there, and
what suffers most is our relationship with
food. We forget what food tastes like and
how it makes us feel, and start focusing
on the numbers.” Tally encourages both
her clients and her online community
to create a positive relationship with
food through her online posts, sharing
information and inspiration to help
us reconnect to eating intuitively.
@tallyrye
Photography Tally Roe

66 WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM

Photography Tiffany Roe
Photography Laura Iu
LAURA IU
Describing herself as a non-diet dietician, Laura is a
registered nutritionist, yoga teacher and founder of Nourish
New York, helping people to find a more peaceful relationship
with food. She shares simple advice on developing true health
based on physical, emotional and mental wellbeing – rather
than sizes. She says: “Common advice is: when you crave
a cookie, honour your body and eat a cookie. But tuning in
also means that when you crave a salad, honour that too!”
@laura.iu
Photography Evelyn Tribole
Photography Liz Riley
LAURA THOMAS
Nutritionist, certified intuitive eating counsellor and
director of the London Centre for Intuitive Eating, Laura
knows her food facts. “There’s no such thing as perfect
eating,” she says on Instagram. Instead, she advocates “being
able to give some thought to your food selection so you get
nutritious food, but not being so restrictive that you miss
out on enjoyable food”. Check out her book Just Eat It
(Bluebird, £12.99), and her podcast, Don’t Salt My Game.
@laurathomasphd
LISTICLE
TIFFANY ROE
A licensed clinical mental health counsellor focusing
on relationships with food, Tiffany has taken to Instagram
and her podcast, Therapy Thoughts, to spread her message
of love for mind, body and food. “What time would be freed
up if we ditched diets and focused on something else?” she
writes. “No scales. No counting. No shame. Just bad-ass
warrior goddess vibes and getting in touch with our higher
purpose, calling and self-care.” Hear, hear!
@heytiffanyroe
EVELYN TRIBOLE
Evelyn is relatively new to Instagram, but as co-
author of Intuitive Eating, first published in 1995, she is
way ahead of the food positivity game. Her posts discuss
how we can learn to eat intuitively through mindfulness
and self-awareness, finding a new satisfaction in our food.
“Intuitive eating helps you tune inward to find what
satisfaction uniquely feels like for you. You deserve to eat in
a way that tastes and feels good in your body!” she says.
@evelyntribole
WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM 67
living

GET COSY THIS MONTH

February is all about nesting and embracing downtime, says our new columnist Hannah Bullivant
Illustration: Fran Murphy

F
ebruary can be a bit of a challenging month. It lacks
the excitement and fresh-start feeling January has
and it falls before the uplifting energy of spring.
The daylight is minimal, it’s cold and lots of us will
be wrangling with the realities of Christmas debt. The
‘calendrical’ doldrums, so to speak. But actually, February
can be a really delightful month. Candlemas, Valentine’s
and Galentine’s Day are all lovely excuses for celebrations
with friends and loved ones; something I believe is
particularly important at this time of year.
If you look carefully, the coming spring is gathering
momentous energy below ground, too. As I’ve got older,
I’ve begun to understand the necessity of the changing
seasons more – specifically, the need for a time to be fallow,
which is critical to facilitate downtime and enable more
growth. We are meant to rest and sleep more in winter,
meant to work less. In our electric light-filled world we
have become desensitised to these urges, and modern work
patterns simply don’t allow us to slow down. But I think
if we find even small ways to listen to what Mother Nature
is trying to tell us, we can all feel a lot happier. Following
our desire to hibernate and hunker down, and creating a
comforting nest in which to do so, will significantly ease
the passing of the last wintry months. And I’ll share some
tips on how to do this.
During the colder months, having a cosy space to retreat
to is a real treat. In December, our houses are full of people,
greenery and sparkling lights, and when that is all cleared
away at the start of January it can leave things feeling
more than a little sparse. Layer cosy textures on seating
and flooring to maximise warmth, bring natural elements
indoors and create a snug, intimate ambience with candles.
One of my favourite ways to make things feel fresh,
without spending lots of money, is to swap cushions,
blankets, plants and art around our home. In the process
of decluttering and swapping things around you might
identify a few gaps and decide, for example, to invest in
a piece of artwork for a tricky wall, or a new set of linen to
make cosying up in bed that bit sweeter.
In February, even though it still feels dreary, the light
is actually increasing daily. Give your windows an early
spring clean and let as much light into your home as you
can. I like to bring the outside in all year round, and this
applies in deep winter too. Architectural seed heads,
interesting twigs, branches and dried flowers all bring
natural outdoor beauty indoors. Put single stems in a
cluster of small vases or bottles for an easy display that
won’t feel too cluttered. In February, you can buy many
types of indoor flowering winter bulbs. Clustered together
on a table or mantelpiece, they make a stunning seasonal
display that carries with it the promise of spring to come.
Don’t forget to give a little attention to your bathroom
during the winter months too. The oft-recommended
hot bath and candle as a mood-lifting boost has become
a bit of a cliché, but there is a reason this simple pleasure
is such a popular go-to. Whether in the form of a bath
or shower, hot water is a definite tonic in cold weather.
Hanging a favourite print, putting out a jar of eucalyptus
stems or lighting a new candle in the bathroom will elevate
the experience still further.
I have one last tip for creating an ultra-comforting
space this February: think about scent. During the
workshops I hosted over the festive season, guests
remarked on the fragrances I’d introduced around my
home. Avoid synthetic aromas and instead bring bunches
of fresh eucalyptus inside, or use pure essential oils or
incense. It’s a simple, sensory way to bring a bit of joy into
your winter nest.

HANNAH BULLIVANT is a writer, stylist, feminist and nature lover.

She blogs about soulful interiors, living creatively and celebrating
the seasons at www.seedsandstitches.com

68 WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM
 living
Photography mariepalbomphotography.com

Being more mindful

of the objects you
have around you is
PDANOPOPALPK
creating a wellness
sanctuary at home.

Make
home your
haven
From living room to bedroom, we reveal how
simple changes can foster tranquility and
nurture your physical and mental wellbeing
Words: Caroline Rowland
ome is our sanctuary; the place we feel safe
H and secure, where we retreat to after a long day,
the space where we can recharge our batteries.
No matter the size, location or style, our homes should
be the place where our shoulders relax as soon as we
step through the door and where we feel at our most
comfortable and content. Yet, many of us are missing
a few tricks when it comes to making the most of the
space we have, and with just a few small changes we can
ensure that our homes really are a haven, helping to boost
both our physical and emotional health.
Becoming more mindful about what you have
around you is the first step to ensuring that your home
contributes positively to your wellbeing. It’s easy to
become ‘blind’ to piles of papers, the junk drawer or
items left on the stairs, but the truth is that having
too much stuff in your environment really can have
a negative impact on you in a variety of ways. Excessive
clutter makes it more difficult to navigate and use your
space, it can affect your respiratory system as surfaces
WELLNESS HAVEN
are harder to rid of dust, and can raise stress levels when
you find it tricky to locate something or just generally
feel encroached upon. Children are also affected by
messiness, as a chaotic environment makes it less easy for
them to focus, impacting on their learning and behaviour.
We all know how good it feels when we do have a clear
out – like a weight has been lifted – clear evidence that
ridding your home of unwanted objects makes you
feel good. Even if there are things you think you
are emotionally attached to, ask yourself if
someone else was to come into your home DOWN TIME
and declutter it, would you actually miss Dim lights in the
those items? How long would it take you evening when you get
to even realise they were gone? home. Research shows
The air quality in our homes is hugely that low light levels
trigger the production
important – especially for anyone with
of melatonin, a
respiratory issues such as asthma. Tackle hormone that prepares
any damp problems straight away, and you for sleep.
try to open windows as often as you can.
Plants in the home are well known for their
WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM 71
living

benefits, both physically and mentally, as they

filter toxins from the air, and simply being close
to nature has been proven to alleviate negative
feelings. You don’t need to go overboard
(you’re trying to minimise clutter remember!)
– simply having one or two plants in each
room will have a positive effect. Don’t worry
if you’re not green-fingered, many of the best
air-purifying plants are the easiest to care for
Photography thishouseourhome.com

– spider plants, palms, peace lilies and rubber

plants are great options. Designating just 10
minutes a week to looking after your plants *KJ@KJ>=OA@
also gives you an opportunity to take time out, LDKPKCN=LDAN
helping you to relax. .KHHU%A=H
London-based photographer and mum-of-
two Polly Geal (www.littlekin.co.uk) believes

plants in the home are essential for city
dwellers, but she has made other changes to
improve the quality of the atmosphere in her
home: “Over the past four years, I’ve stripped
out lots of nasty chemicals from our house.
I make my own cleaning products now or
use natural alternatives – baking soda works
wonders and I use essential oils daily, both
to diffuse the air to create moods and a sense
of wellbeing and for chemical-free cleaning.”
Non-toxic products are safer in so many ways
for you and your family, and it’s easy to find
recipes to make your own online, or seek out
brands making natural alternatives.
Allowing your home to nourish your senses is
another way to help improve your mood.
“If you think about different environments and
how they make you feel, you will start to build
a picture of why lighting, scent and touch are so
important within the home for our wellbeing,”
says Cardiff-based interiors blogger and mum-
of-three girls Reena Simon (www.
hyggeforhome.com). “If you think of a
hospital, for example, with the stark white
walls, chemical smell and lack of natural light
Photography thishouseourhome.com
“During the
day, natural
light is hugely
important”
uncomfortable chairs), you would want your
home to be the complete opposite.”
Lighting has the power to change our mood.
It seems obvious, but often we get so absorbed
in what we are doing, we forget to adjust
our surroundings to suit our needs. “When
we renovated our home, I made sure that all
of the light switches were dimmers and we
have lamps in every room. I can’t relax in the
evening with the main light on. Softer lighting
makes it much easier to unwind,” explains
Reena. During the day, natural light is hugely
Photography mariepalbomphotography.com

(or even an office, with artificial lights and important, so let in as much as you can.

72 WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM
Clockwise from top: House plants
HPANPKTEJOBNKIPDA=ENEJ WELLNESS HAVEN
.KHHUODKIA0AAJ=HKRAOPDA
REASBNKIDANGEP?DAJ.KHHU
?DKKOAOJ=PQN=HI=PANE=HOPK
=RKE@D=NIBQH?DAIE?=HO

Interiors
>HKCCAN=J@
IQI0AAJ=
1EIKJ

Photography mariepalbomphotography.com

“A view is so
calming and
makes me
feel content”
Reena advises: “If you plan to renovate your
home one day, invest in as much glass as
possible. Having a connection to the outdoors
has been one of the most important factors
in creating good health and wellbeing in our
home. My daughters have spent far more time
outdoors, regardless of the weather, since we
added glass doors. They go downstairs and
want to go outside right away. To have a view –
whether you are cooking, relaxing or working
– is so calming and makes me feel content.”
Smell can also have a powerful impact on
our mood. Avoid spray air-fresheners or plug
Photography Reena Simon

WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM 73
living

ins, as you will only be adding to harmful

toxins in the air, instead burn essential oils
and candles. Go for soy or beeswax candles
rather than those made from paraffin wax,
which again release fumes. Look into which
essential oils are best suited to your activity:
lemon, rosemary and peppermint are good for
productivity; while lavender, cedarwood and
grapefruit work well for de-stressing.
Interestingly, softer, rounder edges in your
home can help to lower anxiety and induce
happy feelings. Parents of newly toddling
children will know the angst that is induced by
hard surfaces and sharp corners, but “a home
full of angles isn’t just hazardous to a child.
It sets everyone subtly on edge. Sharp angles
Photography mariepalbomphotography.com

slow our movement and increase the sense of

formality in a space,” explains Ingrid Fetell
Lee in her book Joyful. Ingrid suggests that
round coffee tables will invite conversation
and participation, and that even accessories
like pom-poms and spherical flowers will help
to promote happiness.
When you are choosing furniture and décor
for your home, try to pick natural materials
where possible. Not only do synthetic fibres
slowly release toxins, they generally don’t feel
as pleasant either. Opt for materials derived
from the natural world such as linen, hemp,
wood and bamboo, and when decorating go
for eco-friendly paints to avoid those nasty
VOCs (volatile organic compounds) being
emitted into the air.
Reena agrees: “I really wanted to achieve a
cosy home, one that is relaxing amid the chaos
of parenthood with young children. I wouldn’t
feel calm and relaxed if I had lots of chrome or
hard materials in the house. We have opted for
wood throughout, it not only adds character
and warmth but it feels inviting. I also use
linen bedding, this has been a recent change
for me over the past two years and I could
Photography thishouseourhome.com

74 WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM
 Clockwise from top:
natural linen bedding WELLNESS HAVEN
feels like a dream;
Polly frames pressed
KSANOBKNEJOP=JP?=HI
she combines natural
objects in a relaxing
display; Reena chooses
tactile fabrics.

never go back to what I used to use, it’s such a

comfortable material.”
Once you have created your haven, add some
visual prompts around your home to remind
yourself to take a moment every now and again
to relax and enjoy your calm space. “I’m a
family photographer,” explains Polly,
“so our house is filled with photographs of
our children. I also love art and we have a
collection of paintings and prints
we’ve gathered over the years.
I love the way art can evoke a TRUE COLOURS
mood. I lean towards paintings Think about colour
that make me feel calm and choices too when
free. We often buy art on you’re creating your
holiday, so these pictures wellness haven. Muted
remind me of tones, blues and greens,
are much more restful,
Photography thishouseourhome.com

happy times.”
Try adding a print of a while red and orange
favourite holiday destination, stimulate the brain.
an inspirational quote, or simply
a sticky note above your desk, and
then allow yourself to stop and take a few
deep breaths while you look at it and enjoy
some positive thoughts. Polly also recommends
displaying mementos from nature in the
home: “I have dried flowers from our garden,
pressed flowers in frames that the children have
made and shells from beach trips in glass jars.
Nature for me is the most grounding force, so
displaying it around the house brings a real
sense of calm.”
Considering how important our surroundings
are to our overall wellbeing, and how much
time we spend in our home environment,
seeing it as the haven it should be will have
Photography thishouseourhome.com

far-reaching health benefits. The changes you

can make don’t have to be major, and can be
carried out gradually over time, but will benefit
you and your family’s wellbeing and home life
in so many ways. Nurture your space and your
space will be sure to nurture you in return.

WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM 75
 living

HAVENLY
INSPIRATION
Create a sanctuary in your own home, an oasis
of calm where you can begin recharging your
batteries as soon as you step through the door.
From natural materials to relaxing scents,
here are some easy ways to bring a sense of
serenity into your living space…
Photography Hutomo Abrianto

Essential oil candles
Give your sanctuary – and yourself – a
warm glow. Candlelight is essential for
a relaxing evening in, but make sure
to opt for non-paraffin wax versions.
Join London candles are created from
soy wax with essential oils. They are
also vegan, made from 100 per cent
recyclable materials and don’t contain
parabens or synthetic colours.
from £10, www.joinstorelondon.co.uk
Linen throw
When it comes to textiles, aim for
natural fabrics where possible
to soothe body and soul. Ren
sells a range of gorgeously tactile
linen homewares. This beautifully
understated throw is printed by hand
and is extremely versatile. Use it as an
extra layer on your bed, or perhaps
even as a tablecloth.
£125, www.renlondon.co
Uplifting prints
Be ready when self-doubt sets in, with
some inspirational prints around your
home to remind yourself that you’re
doing a great job! The Motivated Type
on Not on the High Street has a
wonderfully uplifting selection to
choose from. Pick a few to give
yourself a boost and soon you’ll be
able to take on anything!
£7.95, www.notonthehighstreet.com
Incense holder
Scent is hugely important to our
moods and how we feel, and if you
prefer burning incense to candles
to create a restful atmosphere, then
you’ll need a stylish holder.
We love this stoneware incense dish
from The Future Kept. Its modest
simplicity means it will work
well in any interior.
£20, thefuturekept.com
SHOPPING
Bamboo chair
Bringing nature into your home can
enhance feelings of calmness. Where
you can, choose furniture made
from natural, sustainable materials.
Design Vintage has a great collection
including this bamboo number.
Bamboo is fast-growing and, despite
its appearance, is incredibly strong –
and it can be used outside in summer.
£385, www.designvintage.co.uk
Snake plant
Adding even a few plants to your
home will help to improve the air
quality, meaning less stress on your
body. Snake plants are one of the
best options for absorbing nitrogen
oxides and formaldehyde, which occur
naturally in the home, and are also
easy to care for. Choose from
a selection at Forest.
£30, forest.london
WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM 77
 bornpeaceful.com
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 MAGAZINE

MAKE CREATIVITY A REGULAR PART OF YOUR LIFE

BY LEARNING HOW TO MAKE TIME FOR PERSONAL
PROJECTS; PLUS, HOW TO TURN NATURE INTO AN
ARTWORK WITH OUR SCANDI-STYLE WALL VASE.
creating

MAKE CREATIVITY A HABIT

Fencing off time for personal projects will soon become a pattern you won’t want to break
Words: Sara Tasker (@me_and_orla) / Illustration: Fran Murphy

M
y bedroom is messy. You’d be forgiven for
imagining that I am a teenage girl but no,
I am a 35 year old woman – and my dad can no
longer ground me when I don’t tidy up. Now, pop over
to my house unannounced and you’ll see an immaculate
living room and kitchen. But the bedroom – don’t even
ask to go up there. And while I can offer reasons for this
– my five year old’s penchant for emptying cupboards,
my ‘floordrobe’ tendencies when getting dressed in a
hurry – the real reason is something deeper.
When it comes to our homes, we tend to prioritise the
bits that other people see. It’s why we tidy the toys away
for that Instagram snap, but leave them be for our own
relaxation time once the kids are in bed. And it’s why,
when it comes to prioritising housework, my bedroom
– the one space that is exclusively, luxuriously for my
husband and I – always slips to the bottom of the list.
I’m always fascinated by these rules that we follow
without being told to. It makes me wonder where else
this shows up in our lives – what is the messy bedroom
equivalent in our minds? If there’s one thing we tend to
push down, it’s our creativity. Just like my bedroom, it’s
something solely for me – a space to relax and stretch out
and be wholly, unguardedly, myself.
It makes sense then, that in a world where our time
and attention is in constant demand this simple routine
can feel like an indulgence. Who could possibly think
of turning down a friend or a laundry load in favour of
making, or styling a photo? But – just like my bedroom
– there’s a cumulative effect to all that regular neglect.
Those small moments and tasks that we put off for
tomorrow start to quickly pile up, so when we do find
time – to tidy up, or to be creative – it takes a lot longer,
and a whole lot more energy to see any results.
One solution I’ve found to keep creativity on my agenda
is to embrace the idea of personal projects. Something
about making it a project – instead of a series of isolated,
unrelated tasks – makes it easier to justify to ourselves,
and to others. “I can’t come out for drinks because I need
time to knit” can feel rude and unjustified. But “I’m doing
a challenge to finish a sweater this month” gives us a sense
of urgency and more of a justification we can share.
The other nice thing about projects is that they have
a magical cumulative quality. Committing to doing
something small very regularly – writing a journal entry
a day, or posting a photo to Instagram – means we’ll soon
have a lengthy track record that we don’t want to break.
Interiors journalist and blogger Kate Watson-Smyth told
me that she used this to push past what she refers to as
“the winter of blogging discontent”, that period when you
feel like nobody is reading and feel inclined to give up.
And I used it too, when first getting started on Instagram.
I know I got through the awkward, terrible-photo phase
more quickly by ripping off that plaster every day, and
building my skill set in tiny increments.
Personal projects have the structure and urgency
to get us started, but none of the pressure of outside
expectations that can mean we grind to a halt.
And by giving ourselves permission to dig deeper into
one area of our craft or favourite hobby, we get to develop
our skill set and take our understanding and appreciation
for it further and wider. And by doing a little each day
– just like the bedroom analogy – we’re able to take care
of our private space, and stop the clutter from piling up.
Which is why I won’t be tidying my bedroom this
evening, again. I’m going to write something new for my
blog. It might still be for other people, but this time – and
this creativity – is most definitely for me.

SARA TASKER is a photographer, writer and creative coach who goes by the name
Me & Orla (@me_and_orla). Her first book, Hashtag Authentic (White Lion Publishing, £16.99)
is out this month, named after her popular podcast for creatives (#HashtagAuthentic).

80 WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM
 creating

Small bottles are the

perfect way to display
individual stems. This
wall-mounted one is
like a work of art.

Celebrate
the seasons
Be inspired by Nordic simplicity and decorate
your home to reflect the seasons. Start with
Christiane Bellstedt Myers’ upcycled vase
Photography: Caroline Arber
I
have always loved the seasons. They are steeped in
traditions and unwritten laws of bygone days.
I welcome them with elation and anticipation,
each one bringing a constant reminder that life goes
on. It is the idea of renewal and hope that enthrals all
of us. Every season brings with it a bounty; nothing
is more magical when wandering along a lane in late
winter than suddenly coming across a glorious clump
of snowdrops in bud about to burst open.
My thoughts turn immediately to spring and I can’t
wait to get home and start creating a fresh look to
reflect this time. It’s the same for each season, and
year after year the excitement never wanes – that is
what I cherish.
In Scandinavia, seasons play a very important
role in day-to-day life. The harsh winters require
planning and foresight. There is great importance
placed upon respecting the changes of temperature,
and the celebrations for each time of year create
much joy. From the gorgeous candlelit traditions
at Christmas time to marking the summer solstice,
Scandinavians relish their yearly convivial rituals.
I try to embrace each time of year with projects
SCANDI CRAFTS
inspired by the Nordic way of life and its attributes
of simplicity and usefulness. For each project
I reuse materials, whether wood, fabric, or metal.
For example, many of the nails I used in my projects
were previously embedded in old wood. Whenever
I have a bonfire, I rake through the cold ashes to
collect any nails or scraps of metal I can reuse.
When doing this, I like to wonder about the
person who used all my repurposed items LOTTA BOTTLE
before I claimed them and what their lives You might have a
were like. favourite old bottle at
Our changing seasons give us a regular home you can use for
opportunity to renew, redecorate and this project. Failing
rejoice and having fresh flowers in your this, check out charity
home is always a delight. Sometimes, shops, car boot sales,
Ebay, Gumtree or
however, one or two blooms are as
local community
beautiful as a huge bouquet. Small bottles Facebook pages.
make the perfect vessels in which to display
them and attaching these to a decorative piece
of wood to be hung on a wall elevates the bottle
and bloom it contains to a work of art. Turn the page
for a step-by-step guide to making a beautiful vase
from an old bottle…
WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM 83
creating

You will need

* Piece of old wood * Screws * Wire
* Small strip of wood * Nails * Small glass bottle
* Heart-shaped cookie cutter
* Pencil * Small jigsaw * Sandpaper
* Wire cutters * Hammer * Hand drill

Using a cookie cutter, draw a heart

shape onto the wood. Carefully cut
out the shape with a small jigsaw. Smooth
down the cut edges using a piece of
sandpaper. Take your time when cutting
out the heart to give yourself a pleasing
shape. When sourcing your piece of wood,
PNUPKJ@=JKH@LEA?ASEPD=@EOPNAOOA@
KN=CA@L=EJPJEODEBUKQ?=J

Turn the piece of wood over and, with

the cut-out at the top, attach a screw
on either side about 2cm (1 inch) from the
edge, just below the heart. Cut a length
of wire and twist it around the screws to
allow you to hang the wood to the wall.

84 WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM

This is an edited extract from
Seasonal Scandi Crafts by
Christiane Bellstedt Myers
(CICO Books, £12.99), available
from March 2019. Readers
can get the book for £10
using the code SEASONAL10
when purchasing from
rylandpeters.com
I=GA
(Offer valid until 31 May 2019.
Free P&P in the UK).
SCANDI CRAFTS
Now attach a small strip of wood
to the bottom edge of the back of
the piece of wood, using a hammer and
small nails. This will ensure the bottle
hangs upright.
Turn the wood over and decide where
you want to attach the bottle. Mark
four holes for the two wires to hold it
as shown. Drill the holes, then thread two
lengths of wire through and twist them at
PDA>=?GQJPEHPDA>KPPHAEONIHUEJ
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 MAGAZINE

DISCOVER THE JOYS OF COLD WATER SWIMMING; FROM

WALKING THEATRE TO WALKING THERAPY, THERE’S
MUCH TO BE GAINED BY PUTTING ONE FOOT IN FRONT
OF THE OTHER; PLUS, AUSTRALIA’S BOHO SIDE.
escaping

OCEAN CALLING
Come winter, wild swimming is a joy – even a short dip can have a deeply restorative effect
Words: Sian Lewis / Illustration: Fran Murphy

W
hy do we hear the call of the ocean, feel the
itch to swim in the sea? For me it’s a strong
desire to be in wide open spaces, free from
built-up places, looking out at empty horizons. I find sea
swimming hugely beneficial for a busy, anxious brain –
there’s something about the rhythmic nature of the sea’s
tides, the steady wash of the waves and the repetitive pull
and push of front crawl that leads quickly to peace.
It’s easy to forget all about the joys of wild swimming
come winter. When daylight hours are precious and it’s
bitterly cold outside, we naturally want to hibernate.
But if you’re brave you might find that cold weather
swimming is an amazing coping mechanism for fighting
off the winter doldrums. Finnish and Swedish swimmers
have known about the benefits of cold water immersion
for years – the ritual of a swim in icy (or even ice-clad)
lakes followed by a warm session in a sauna is well-known
for its health benefits, proven to stimulate circulation
and reduce pain. And now there are outdoor swim clubs
across Britain all year round, with lidos open in winter
and New Year’s Day sea swims an annual ritual.
Fay Preene (find her lovely Instagram at @faypreene)
swims throughout the winter in Britain in just her
swimsuit. For her, the cold water is a calming space
where she finds respite from her demanding job. “The
feeling of being in cold water while out in nature is so
energising. It recharges your mental health batteries and
it makes you feel alive. It’s a big bowl of liquid medicine.”
It’s important to stay safe when outdoor swimming,
especially in colder weather. A lot of sea swimming is
simply common sense – don’t swim drunk, swim with a
buddy and stay close to the shore (when I swim in the sea
I usually stay within my depth and simply swim lengths
parallel to the beach). Don’t jump in without knowing
the depth of the water or checking if there are currents
or rip tides in the area, and don’t swim in big or choppy
waves – check the forecast first at magicseaweed.com
and pick a day with calm weather and water. If you’re
new to sea swimming, start with achievable amounts and
build up your swimming fitness. Be aware that in winter,
your stamina can be cut shorter by the cold. Wear a thick
all-season triathlon wetsuit, wetsuit booties and gloves, a
brightly coloured swim cap and goggles, and take a bright
swimming buoy with you so you’re easy to spot in water.
I have friends who aren’t big fans of ocean swimming
due to how big, opaque and unknown it can sometimes
feel compared to the clean, clear waters of a lido, and
I totally understand that feeling. If you’re not sure if
a sea swim is your bag, I suggest waiting until you’re
somewhere with calm and limpid water where you can
see the bottom, and not get out of your depth. Or instead,
why not embrace the amazing wild world waiting below
the surface? The UK may not be the first place you’d
name as a snorkelling hotspot, but the clear waters off
Cornwall and Scotland are fantastic places to go on an
underwater safari. You can go foraging for seaweed and
spot scuttling crabs – turtles have even been seen off
Scotland’s Hebridean islands. Or go south and snorkel
with a colony of friendly and curious seals. Head to St
Mary’s, part of the subtropical Isles of Scilly archipelago
off the coast of Cornwall, and Scilly Seal Snorkelling
(scillysealsnorkelling.com) will take you to uninhabited
islets where seals lollop around on the rocks. These
puppyish characters come up to say hello and have a
swim with you. You’ll quickly forget the water’s chill.
Next time winter has you feeling lethargic, remember
the words of author Isak Dinesen: “the cure for anything
is salt water – tears, sweat, or the sea.”

SIAN LEWIS is a freelance travel writer and adventurer. Sian blogs at

www.thegirloutdoors.co.uk and her book The Girl Outdoors: The Wild Girl’s Guide
to Adventure, Travel and Wellbeing (Conway, £14.99) is out now.

88 WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM
 IN THE SWIM
Inspired by Sian Lewis’ column? Heed
the call of the ocean with her pick of the
best swim kit, inspiring artwork, cosy
changing robes and a shampoo to bring
salt-soaked hair back to life.
Words: Sian Lewis

Swim Wild print
We all need reminding to get off the
sofa and into the water sometimes,
especially at this time of year. Display
this charmingly simple swim-themed
screen print by Helena Tyce Designs
somewhere in your sitting room – it
certainly makes us want to down tools
and go for a dip immediately. As the
poem by Steven Corbett it features
reads, ‘What’s a worry, once you’re in?’.
£19.50 notonthehighstreet.com
Rash vest
A rashie is the bit of swim kit you
never knew you needed. Pop these
lightweight, quick-drying tops under
a triathlon wet suit for extra warmth
and to stop chafing or, if you’re tough
enough to go winter swimming without
a wet suit on, wear one over a swimsuit
for a bit more protection from the cold.
Surf Dome stocks them in a rainbow of
colours and different sleeve lengths.
from £11.95 surfdome.com
Sink or Swim shampoo bar
If a dip in the salty ocean or a
chlorinated pool tends to make your
hair feel rather straw-like, swap your
regular shampoo for this lovely, all-
natural solid version. As well as being
an eco-friendly, vegan way to wash your
locks, its infusion of rosemary, lavender
and nettle will naturally cleanse your
hair, while coconut oil restores its
moisture and shine.
£3 bonnebombe.co.uk
Exeze Rider MP3 player
Whether you’re training in the ocean
or the lido, listening to your favourite
music or podcast while you rack up the
laps can make a long session more fun.
The answer is waterproof headphones,
but they can be expensive. Enter this
nifty 4GB waterproof player, which
costs under £30 but stores hundreds of
songs, plays for 12 hours on one charge
and comes with headphones.
£29.95 amazon.co.uk
SHOPPING
Outdoor changing robe
Do you vow to swim more each winter,
only to chicken out half the time
because getting in and out of the
water is so chilly? Try the extremely
comforting Dryrobe. Stick it on before
and straight after a swim and the cosy
fleece inner lining and waterproof
outer will instantly warm you up.
Perfect for hardy outdoor swimmers,
triathletes and novices alike.
from £110 dryrobe.com
Gopro Hero7 camcorder
Capture the magical world under the
surface of the waves with a waterproof
camera – a great way to mix the joys
of wild swimming with the creativity
of photography. John Lewis’ GoPros
come with a free adventure kit
including a floating hand grip perfect
for shooting underwater. The GoPro
Hero7 allows you to send your aquatic
captures straight to your phone.
from £179 johnlewis.com
WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM 91
 Up here in the hills, all wooded with fir and chestnut, olive
and oak, almond and walnut, you can see Zeus in the sunsets,
taste him in the fat red tomatoes ; in the stucco -white cheese
made from the milk of the krikri ; in the green of the olive oil ,
and the amber of the honey - sold on the roadside, high
in the white mountains, by the girl with salt
and wind in her hair, five Euros a jar

Find your perfect Slow moments with Inntravel .

Self- guided walking, cycling and touring holidays in Europe and beyond .
escaping

From walking theatre to walking therapy,

Xenia Taliotis explores the power of a stroll
to spark our imagination and lift our mood
 escaping
T
“ he moment my legs begin to move, my
thoughts begin to flow,” said poet and
historian Henry David Thoreau, nicely
summing up what contemporaries Charles
Dickens and Charles Darwin also believed, and
what the peripatetic philosophers of ancient
Greece had long known – the path to creativity
is a long and hard road best accessed on foot.
As someone who unfortunately has a very
close relationship with writers’ block, I’m
right there with Thoreau. Walk and thought
are inextricably linked. When my brain shuts
down and I find myself lost for words, I hit the
streets. Sometimes when I’m out wandering,
a feature that I’ve been struggling with, one that
has hung structureless on the computer screen
like a crumpled shirt on a hanger, begins to take
shape in my mind. I might still have problems
finishing the article when I get home, but
I will at least have worked out a way of moving
it onto the next stage and, more often than not,
I’ll also have come up with one or two ideas for
other pieces I’d like to write.
That physical strides trigger strides in
thinking is borne out by a 2014 study by
researchers at Stanford University in America,
which showed that walking increases
‘divergent’ thinking – that is our creative
thought processes – by a staggering 60%. How
and why this happens is a mystery, though it’s
possible that author Virginia Woolf had the
EMILY RHODES
Photography Emily Rhodes
Emily writes about books for the Financial Times,
The Guardian and The Spectator. She runs Emily’s
Walking Book Club at festivals and writer retreats,
as well as monthly walks on Hampstead Heath.
94 WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM
answer when she said that walking gave her
the “space to spread [her] mind out”.
Walking is something we do on autopilot,
something we don’t need to concentrate on,
and perhaps this frees the mind from the active
tasks it finds so exhausting, allowing it simply
to be. This, coupled with the benefits exercise
delivers – among them a boost to the brain’s
oxygen and blood supply – seems to produce
the perfect environment for creative thinking
and for inventive problem-solving. It’s no
wonder then that walking is proving to be the
perfect partner for reading groups, theatre,
Photography Xenia Taliotis
counselling and even learning, with London
School of Economics (LSE) now offering
students one-to-one walking study sessions
on, for example, revision and time
management. According to LSE’s website,
“a gentle walk can inspire the imagination,
and open up the free flow of ideas, while green
spaces can help restore attention and focus”.
Emily Rhodes (emilyrhodeswriter.com),
who’s been running her monthly walking book
club on London’s Hampstead Heath since
2011, couldn’t agree more. She’s convinced
that being on the move encourages a fluidity
of thought and speech in people that simply
wouldn’t happen in someone’s front room,
however companionable. “I think something
happens on an unconscious level when we
walk, which seems to lubricate our thinking
and discourse,” she says. “The conversations
never wane, and I think the very fact that we
are outside, moving, breathing fresh air, being
 WALKING

stimulated by nature, liberates and inspires

us. It helps us make leaps in our thinking, and
sparks new perspectives on the books.”
I met Emily’s walking book group on a wet,
windy Sunday. There were about 30 of us and
despite being the only newbie, I didn’t get the
heart-thumping anxiety I usually get when
meeting lots of new people, partly because
Left and below right: there were no formal introductions, and partly
Emily’s Walking Book Club because everyone was standing side by side in
takes a stroll on London's clusters of twos or threes, which made me feel
Hampstead Heath despite the less shy. I joined a couple of women who were
inclement weather. already having an animated conversation about
Below left: Walking in winter the book, and that was that: within seconds
can be just as uplifting as I was part of the discussion.
a summer hike – just don't Sarah has been a regular at the book club
forget to pack a cosy hat! for years: “Walking and reading are two of
my greatest passions, so being able
to combine the two, exercising
both my mind and body
WALKING TALL
simultaneously, is wonderful.
Engage your core by
Plus there is something about
tightening your
analysing the books while stomach muscles and
walking that makes us less straightening your spine
inhibited, somehow. People while walking. Plus, roll
come up with theories that the foot from heel to toe
they might have felt too self- and let your arms
conscious to mention if they’d swing naturally.
been sitting in a circle in a room
with all eyes upon them.”
That was certainly one of the aspects
I liked most about the group, too. I liked
how relaxed it was, how no single person
dominated the conversation – as can happen
in conventional reading clubs – and how we
stopped every 15 minutes or so for a general
discussion and for Emily to introduce a new
subject for us to think about. We then resumed
our walk having re-grouped with different
people, thereby engaging with other members,
and hearing other points of view.
Active engagement and participation is
also at the root of actor and playwright Sadie
Photography Xenia Taliotis

WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM 95
 escaping

“Walk and talk therapy… helps speed

up the healing process, people might be
more receptive when on the move”
Dixon-Spain’s Walking Theatre Company
(thewalkingtheatrecompany.com), where
audiences follow the actors through forests,
gardens, churchyards and glens.
Sadie says she first got the idea for theatre
on the move when her children were tiny, when
she would tell them stories as they walked.
“We’d just moved to Glendaruel, in Argyll,
and wanted our kids to grow up using their
imagination and appreciating all that nature
had to offer them. We didn’t have broadband
at the time, but even if we had, we didn’t want
it to be their entertainment. Each day, we’d put
our wellies on and go searching for Puck or
Titania from A Midsummer Night’s Dream, or
for fairies, or characters I’d make up. Exploring
the forests and creating the scenes for them
added enchantment to the stories – as much for
me as for them – and gave me the idea for my
walking theatre company.”
Sadie started her ‘theatre without walls’ in
2009, and says that the fact that audiences
Photography The Walking Theatre Company
move through the landscape, following in
the footsteps of the actors, connects them on
a deeper level to the play, to the story, and also
to the ‘set’ – which is, of course, nature’s own
creation. Sadie and her company now put on
theatre performances nationwide.
“It’s an incredible social and immersive
experience. The audience has to walk to the
next scene – it’s not presented to them via
a set change, which means their engagement
is physical as well as intellectual,” says Sadie.
“To get the most from the performance,
audiences have to get involved – they have
to move, they have to use their imagination
and they have to be willing to interact. In
other words, they form part of the narrative.
As the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said,
‘great thoughts are conceived while walking’.
I love that. I love that our audiences leave our
performances completely fired up.”
For psychotherapist Lara Just
(thewalkingtherapist.co.uk), the decision
to treat people while pacing outdoors came
about gradually, and partly through her own
experience: when her own life fell apart, it was

SADIE DIXON-SPAIN
The Walking Theatre Company is based in rural
Argyll and produces work all over Scotland. Its
shows take audiences on a physical and creative
Photography The Walking Theatre Company

journey through many environments.

96 WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM
Clockwise from top: research
has shown that walking in a WALKING
forest can lower your blood
pressure and boost your
immune system; The Walking
Theatre Company in action;
company director and actor
Sadie Dixon-Spain.

Walking back
to happiness
HIPPOCRATES, THE GREEK
PHYSICIAN, SAID WALKING
WAS MAN’S MEDICINE…
It boosts your circulation and
gets your heart pumping without
straining it. This means that a daily stroll
could reduce your chances of suffering
a heart attack, stroke or other cardiac
malfunction in later life.

It’s good for your mood. A 2010

study by Jules Pretty and Jo Barton
from the University of Essex showed that
walks improved feelings of self-esteem
and helped combat depression.

It will help prevent varicose veins.

Luis Navarro, medical director of
the Vein Treatment Center, New York,
says that walking strengthens the
muscles and veins in our calves and feet
and helps to maintain a healthy blood
flow back up to the heart.

It can help you to maintain bone

density and
strong muscles and, if it's your goal, to
lose weight. To do this, you’ll need to up
your pace – a fast half an hour walk each
day is ideal.

Walking is so good for your brain.

The Alzheimer’s Society reports that
taking daily brisk walks is one of the best
ways of reducing your chances of
Photography The Walking Theatre Company

developing dementia.

WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM 97
 Walking alone or with
a friend is a great
hobby to cultivate,
plus it’s free and
kind to the planet.

regular walking sessions that kept her

going. She imagined that it could be
useful for some of her own clients
WISE WORDS
“The journey of who were going through grief
a thousand miles and other challenging periods of
begins with a single transition. She set up the walking
step.” Lao Tzu, therapy project in Hampstead
ancient Chinese Heath, London, and was surprised
philosopher at how popular it became within
and writer just a matter of months.
For Lara there are several advantages
to counselling a person outdoors, not
least of which is the environment – some
people simply find sitting opposite a therapist
in a consultation room too uncomfortable.
“Walking side by side in a shared space –
as opposed to somewhere the therapist has
chosen – often helps put people at their ease,
while being on the move is helpful to people
with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity
disorder) or ASC (autism spectrum condition) through some kind of life crisis,” says Lara.
who can find confined spaces stressful.” “There’s an indication that it helps speed up
More than that, though, there’s a lot to be the healing/therapy process and that people
said for the very symbolism of striding and might be more receptive when on the move
the act of moving forward. “Walk and talk than when sitting in a counselling room.”
therapy is relatively new so studies are limited, While I can’t vouch for the efficacy of walk
but there is some evidence to suggest that it is and talk therapy, I can certainly vouch for the
proving particularly beneficial to people who healing powers of walking. It was what helped
are in a state of flux, who are searching for me cling on to sanity and life after my partner
something new, who are grieving or have gone died, when I would pound the streets in all
weathers for hours on end. In the words of the
early philosopher St Augustine, solvitur
ambulando – it is solved by walking.

LARA JUST
Lara, The Walking Therapist, specialises in walk
Photography Lara Just

and talk therapy, which combines professional

psychotherapeutic support with moving the body
in nature, often among ancient trees.

WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM 98
 POSTER

Tap to
download

Inspiring
wall art
We’ve created this poster for you to
pull-out and keep. We suggest you
frame it, pin it up or stick it inside your
wardrobe door to motivate and
reassure you each time you see it.

Illustration Becki Clark

 NEW
PODCAST

Recent episodes...

TAKE US
WITH
YOU!
We have a podcast! Each episode, we talk to an inspiring guest about
a wellbeing topic. Listen in and enjoy a few calm moments with us...

VISIT WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM/PODCAST OR FIND OUR SHOWS ON

APPLE PODCASTS, SPOTIFY, STITCHER AND MOST MAJOR PODCAST APPS
 ADV ERTI S EM EN T

Try a sea change

There’s no better place to go for a breath of fresh air than
the coast – and there’s no better place to stay by the sea
than with Classic Cottages

A
sojourn by the sea is
an invaluable way to
recharge, reconnect
and harness the
power of nature away from the
commitments and distractions of
day-to-day life. Winter or summer,
rain or shine, there’s something
truly uplifting and calming about
the ocean – and with more than
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around the coasts of Cornwall,
Devon, Somerset, Hampshire,
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Head to the clifftops near
Kingsand, Cornwall, and you’ll find
Rockwater Cabin, a luxury, dog-
friendly hideaway for three with a
terrace perfect for al fresco dining
and a backdrop of mesmerising sea
views. The Lizard Peninsula in the
far south is home to Maen Eglos,
a modern yet romantic abode for
two surrounded by the sea. A great
choice for big groups is Trelowen,
a fabulous family home sleeping
eight on the coast path at Fowey,
where you can soak in the hot tub
with a blue sea panorama.
In Dorset, the Chalet on
the Beach treats guests to an
immersive coastal experience at
Monmouth, with the gentle waves
almost lapping at your door. Or,
for breathtaking 180-degree
sea vistas, make your way to
The Linney in north Devon, a
renovated barn for four people
with bi-fold doors framing the
view. If you fancy going a little
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Isle of Wight and experience the
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Flackstead, a six-person house
complete with unobstructed views
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Book your seaside staycation today at classic.co.uk

escaping

Tim’s grandfather
fought in a naval
battle, and this
sparked the idea
for his trilogy.

REVIEW & INTERVIEW

The Redeemed
THIS ISSUE, WE TALK TO TIM PEARS ABOUT HIS TRILOGY
OF HISTORICAL NOVELS EXPLORING COMMUNITY,
BELONGING AND MIGRATION

Words: Sarah Ditum

T
im Pears’ West Country Trilogy began in 2017 with The Horseman.
In a Devon village in 1911, we meet 12-year-old Leo Sercombe, the
son of a gifted horseman with a preternatural talent of his own;
and Lottie Prideaux, daughter of the local squire, who is similarly skilled
at riding and tending to horses. Pears’ portrayal of country life is not
idealised, but there is an appealing innocence to it, and to Leo and Lottie’s
burgeoning relationship across the social divide – an innocence shattered
in a shocking climax that sees Leo cast out from his home and family.
Book two – The Wanderers – followed Leo in his exile, and ended as
World War One was beginning. So this concluding volume, called The
Redeemed, opens with our horseman now a seaman, serving aboard
the HMS Queen Mary, and about to enter one of the most brutal naval
engagements of the war: the Battle of Jutland. Pears’ depiction of the
battle from Leo’s perspective is a bravura sequence of fiction, capturing
the absolute terror of being under fire on the water. Meanwhile, the
demand for men in the trenches has given Lottie the freedom to train
as a vet – but she, too, has her own encounters with cruelty and violence.
Both experience the transformations of the early twentieth century
close up: the shift from horse-powered farming to tractors, the change
in women’s status, the decline of the gentry. Pears captures not just the
matter of the past, but the experience of going through it, giving a rare
vitality to a period now at the very fringe of living memory. As the title
suggests, he also offers salvation for Leo and Lottie by the end, making
this a deeply moving finale for a trilogy that – without sentimentality or
showily displayed detail – raises up history from the lost depths.

102 WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM

Q Why did you choose to write about the early
twentieth century?
A I had one or two starting points. One was my
grandfather being in the Battle of Jutland in 1916.
Another was [while] working at Oxford Brookes
University a student told me a story about these
German ships that had been scuttled in Scapa
Flow being brought to the surface, and the way
that they were salvaged in the 1920s gave me this
incredible image of these massive, massive ships
being filled with air being brought to the surface
like resurrected leviathans. Then I just fell into
that period of history, and researched it, and
found it more and more interesting.
Q By the time we get to The Redeemed, Leo
particularly has been through some incredibly
brutal things. Did you ever feel sorry for him?
A Did I feel sorry for this completely fictional
character? Yeah, poor guy! For me, it’s always
good if there’s a kind of engine underneath
a novel, and the engine of this whole trilogy is the
idea that human beings are happiest to grow up
in a community, and remain within that for the
whole of their lives, and then bring up the next
generation in it, and so on. That’s exactly what
Leo as a boy wants, but he’s thrown out of that
world and is forced to become a migrant and
to wander. That’s his tragedy, but it’s also what
makes him. And migration is such a huge part of
our lives today. It’s such a terrible upheaval, and
it is the reality of so many millions of us.
Q Getting the detail right must have been a huge
endeavour over this series of books.
A Absolutely. But it’s just so enjoyable, and the
difficulty is not doing it but to stop doing it.
Historical fiction is new for me, because
I always saw myself as a contemporary novelist,
but the great paradox one is dealing with is to
present this idea that people were different from
us a hundred, a thousand years ago, and yet at the
same time people were the same as us. As
a reader you want to have that odd feeling all the
time – “oh, they saw things slightly differently!”
Photography Rory Carnegie
Religion, for example, had a more central role.
And yet of course they were just like us, with the
same passions and concerns and anxieties.
BOOK CLUB
Q Were there any specific sources that you used
to develop the character Lottie?
A Not really, no. My mother and my sisters were
all horsewomen – they were crazy about horses,
so I grew up with them. I must say, one of the
things I found about writing a trilogy was that
I’d set things up in the first book not knowing
necessarily how they were going to be resolved
by the time of the third book. The way that it’s
Lottie who comes up with a way to live working
with horses, I didn’t have that until really late in
the day, and I was really happy when that emerged.
Q I was going through the second novel
expecting Leo to end up in the cavalry, and then
you send him to sea. Did you consciously avoid
what seemed the obvious direction for him
when the war comes?
A Yeah, and also tied up with this, there are
these different experiences that he had. In the
first book, he nearly drowns in the pool that
Lottie takes him to, and she saves him. So it
kind of matches. Honestly it was amazing.
Writing a trilogy, these kinds of things presented
themselves, these echoes from one book to
another. It was really fun.
Q Did you feel any grief or sense of loss at
leaving behind the world that you’d been
creating so meticulously for so long?
A No, not at all! Maybe I should have done
– maybe I’ve got a cold heart or something. But
no, it felt absolutely great to finish it and walk
away. I’m amazed by writers who can stay in a
world. Like A Dance to the Music of Time – how
can you spend your entire life writing about the
same group of characters? But equally there are
writers who are pulled back into that world
maybe 10 years later, and they write a follow-up.
That hasn’t happened to me, but maybe it could.
The Redeemed
(Bloomsbury, £16.99)
is out now. To read more,
visit timpears.com
WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM 103
 escaping
Photography Angela Terrell

Returning to a familiar place

can be just as restorative
as visiting pastures new.
 AUSTRALIA

BOHEMIAN
RHAPSODY
Aussie expat Liz Schaffer shares her love for one of Australia’s
less assuming destinations, the Southern Highlands – a region
where time slows, artists gather and nature reigns supreme

W
e’ve all got that one destination, that familiar
retreat we’ve explored more times than we care
to admit; the soothing bolthole we crave when
everything starts to feel just a little bit hectic. Don’t get me
wrong, adventures and jaunts into the unknown and the
exotic are decidedly good for the soul, but when you are
desperate to unwind and to set frenetic minds at ease, few
things feel as perfectly restorative as the ‘known’.
And so I return time and time again to Australia’s
Southern Highlands, a pastoral patchwork of towns,
villages, wilderness and sun-baked farmland found halfway
between Sydney and Canberra. I spent countless holidays
here as a child – bushwalking, dam-swimming and arriving
home a happy, muddy mess. Visiting as an adult, the allure
of endless Australian skies and sun-dappled trails remains,
but my focus has shifted away from madcap outdoors-ing
towards local craftsmanship, stories and gastronomy. But
that’s the funny thing about the familiar, it tends to change
and surprise you. For it’s when returning to such locations
that we’re reminded that no setting is ever completely still.
Destinations evolve, and this is where the excitement lies;

WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM 105
 Photography Angela Terrell
escaping
the sense that new discoveries and ways of
unwinding are waiting to be found.
This is true of ‘the Highlands’ (as the area
is known locally), a place where time slows,
people chat and nature reigns supreme. Here,
summer days seem endless, winter nights are
made for rugged-up stargazing and morning
mists herald spring’s arrival. Larger towns such
as Moss Vale and Bowral boast galleries, public
gardens and restaurants aplenty, while smaller
communities like Berrima feel lost in
time. And it was Berrima – quaint
SEASONAL and picture-perfect – that
CHANGES made the ideal base for my
The Southern three-day return journey.
Highlands experiences Settled in 1831 and
cool summers – the found beside the
region can be up to Wingecarribee River,
10 degrees cooler than Berrima is Australia’s
the rest of Australia, oldest Georgian village.
and it has four
Its crepe myrtle-dotted main
distinct seasons.
street is lined with historic
stone houses re-imagined as
shops, studios and cafés. On nearly
every street corner, pink feathered galahs and
cockatoos forage, while colourful rosellas
squawk noisily in the branches above.
Encircling all this are the town’s architectural
gems – The Old Gaol, Courthouse and
106 WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM
Harper’s Mansion, a family home turned
presbytery and convent that was saved from
near-ruin by determined locals. Yet I pass these
in my search for sustenance. Gumnut Patisserie
won me over many Easters ago with their
spice-packed hot cross buns, and year round
they win awards for their sculptural pastries
and hearty, inventive pies. It’s these that
I crave – gourmet takes on classic
combinations, worthy of their accolades.
Across the road is Berrima Village Pottery,
a treasure trove of hand-painted ceramics from
local craftsman Paul Bruce, who can often be
found at his wheel in the attached studio, a dog
loyally napping by his feet. Having invested in
a charmingly retro mug, I continue to the
nearby Berrima River Walk, a signposted,
waterside trail first carved out by Germans
interned in Berrima during the First World
War and re-opened in 2015. It’s an easy-going,
historical walk through pretty landscape.
A short drive away is the 200 acre Bendooley
Estate, headquarters of the family-owned
Sydney book company Berkelouw. Now
helmed by the sixth generation, the Berkelouws
began by trading theology texts in Rotterdam
and eventually found themselves in their
Berrima book barn in 1975, with the venture
growing dramatically in recent years.
Photography Angela Terrell
 AUSTRALIA

The main building on this impressive estate

is now a rustic stone and timber structure with
Photography www.bendooleyestate.com.au

a spectacular central fireplace and row upon

row of new and secondhand books. There’s a
connected, light-filled restaurant famed for its
pizza and a winery, planted in 2008, that takes
full advantage of the Highland’s wine-friendly
elevation and cooler climes.
Wishing to draw out the Berkelouw
experience, I stayed in one of Bendooley Estate’s
cottages, all named after Australian literary
giants. Ranging from studios to three-bedroom
hideaways, they feature natural tones, vintage
prints and custom wallpapers. However, the
focus here is the landscape and it’s astounding
how many hours can be spent, book in hand,
watching the colours of the surrounding
paddocks shift as the day progresses.
The following morning was dedicated to
Bowral, associated with Mary Poppins author,
PL Travers. Watched over by Mount Gibraltar,
Photography Angela Terrell

Bowral is now synonymous with antiques,

cafés and its annual tulip festival – and novels
and flowers are indeed recurring themes. At
Harry’s on Green Lane (named in honour
of Chelsea Flower Show founder, Sir Harry
Clockwise from top left: sweetly scented eucalyptus; Veitch) I tucked into apple and currant toast,
PDA>A=QPEBQH AJ@KKHAU#OP=PABNKPDULEJGKN= made exquisite by whipped honey ricotta.
The Potting Shed on Green Lane, Bowral. The restaurant celebrates local produce and

WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM 107
escaping
its walls are bedecked with books, travel
curiosities, floral prints and greenery, making it
the ideal setting to pour over purchases from
Dirty Jane’s, an emporium and market just
across the way overflowing with vintage delights.
It was my waitress who recommended
I drive on to Moss Vale and check out
Genevieve Furzer and Simon Kenny’s Mossy
Store. Having begun his creative career
as a photographer in Sydney, Simon now
specialises in handcrafted wooden furniture.
Working primarily with Australian hardwoods,
he is inspired by mid-century modernism and
Japanese joinery, and aims to be sustainable
and environmentally friendly in all that he
does, creating Scandi-esque heirlooms that will
last a lifetime rather than ending up in landfill.
This respect for the land and artistry defines
Mossy Store, which Genevieve curates – the
unique pastel works of LouiseM ceramics,
Mark Honoré’s origami-like leatherwork and
bush remedies from indigenous communities
are just some of the treasures she’s selected.
It feels like each time I return to the
Highlands the artistic community has grown,
which I suppose is to be expected. Makers
like Rabbit Trap Timber and Harriet Goodall
(known for her eclectic lights, baskets and
sculptures) grew up in farming families and
are driven by a desire to gather and create,
showcasing the realities and joys of country
life. What’s equally charming is the number
of stores keen to share and promote their work.
LIZ SCHAFFER
Liz is a travel writer and photographer and the
editorial and creative director of Lodestars Anthology
(lodestarsanthology.co.uk), a beautiful magazine-
meets-journal about place, travel and exploration.
108 WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM
Feeling inspired, and with a car full of art,
I made for The Loch, just outside Berrima.
I’d first visited in summer for a communal
lunch, sitting at a wildflower-adorned outdoor
table framed by a lovingly-tended garden and
converted stables containing a cornucopia of
farm-finished antiques. This was the Tasting
Room, a lunch chef and owner Brigid Kennedy
hosts every Sunday where you’re encouraged,
in the rural spirit, to talk to your neighbour.
A working farm, The Loch also operates as
a guest house, with many of the objets d’art
hailing from the land itself and given new life
by Brigid’s partner Kevin Nott.
I dedicated my final Highlands day to wilder
pursuits, seeking the fondly-remembered
bushland tracks I traipsed along as a child. But
instead of travelling to Fitzroy Falls or Hill
Top’s Cave Creek walking trail, I set out for
Wombeyan Caves, ancient limestone
formations found at the end of a meandering
Photography The Loch
dirt road. Interestingly though, it was the
journey itself I found most calming. The dense
trees and grasses appeared as an explosion of
greens – shades of sage and olive blending into
forest and sea – the scene punctuated by stoic
native flowers that grew in the most dazzling
shapes and shades. And while wombats and
echidnas remained elusive, kangaroos grazed in
the fields. Breathing in the honeyed, pine scent
of the eucalyptus trees, I gave myself over to
this simple, natural escape – the setting feeling
familiar and strange all at once.
Photography The Loch
 Clockwise from top:
rural-style dining at The AUSTRALIA
Loch; Cecil Hoskins Nature
Reserve lies between Bowral
and Moss Vale; The Loch
is a working farm.

Getting there
The Southern Highlands is the perfect
destination for a long weekend as part
of an Australian odyssey. To get there,
it’s best to fly into Sydney and then
hire a car. The drive from Sydney takes
around an hour and a half and a car
makes travelling between the towns,
and reaching some of the more out-of-
the-way walks and wineries considerably
easier. That said, if rail is more your style,
there is also a train between Sydney and
the Highlands which stops at Bowral,
Moss Vale and Mittagong.

Photography Angela Terrell

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 escaping

Take a break
TAKE SOME TIME OUT, MAKE YOURSELF A CUPPA AND
LIMBER UP FOR THIS MONTH’S FUN CROSSWORD

1 1 2 1 3 2 4 3 5 4 6 5 7 8

9 6 10 7 8

9 10

17

11 12 13 14

20 21 22

15 16 17 18

19 21 20 21 22

23 24 25 27 26

28 27 28

ACROSS 23 Romantic missive (4,6) 6 Thin soup (5)

6 --- Cooper, A Star Is Born actor (7) 26 Symbol that represents a brand (4) 8 --- Acre Wood, Pooh’s fictional
7 Tool for cutting paper or card into 27 Film industry award (5) forest (7)
shapes (5) 28 London --- Week, clothing trade 12 Substance that makes up 92 per
9 Romantic flower (4) show (7) cent of a strawberry (5)
10 Comprehend (10) 14 Antibiotic group (10)
11 TV programme where celebrities DOWN 16 South American river (7)
are interviewed (4,4) 1 --- Day, 14th February celebration 17 Crafting paper textured with
13 Referee (6) (10) fibres (8)
15 --- Barrowman, actor and singer (4) 2 Detective (6) 21 Dark reddish-pink colour (6)
17 Non-glossy paint or paper (5) 3 Coloured (hair) (4) 22 Urge (3,2)
18 Skin-coloured (4) 4 Window in the front of a card (8) 24 Carve (4)
19 Type of heavy fuel (6) 5 Make a garment using needles 25 Soft white meat substitute (4)
20 Extracted and reused (8) and wool (4)

Down: 1 Valentines, 2 Sleuth, 3 Dyed, 4 Aperture, 5 Knit, 6 Broth, 8 Hundred, 12 Water, 14 Penicillin, 16 Orinoco, 17 Mulberry, 21 Cerise, 22 Egg on, 24 Etch, 25 Tofu.
Across: 6 Bradley, 7 Punch, 9 Rose, 10 Understand, 11 Chat show, 13 Umpire, 15 John, 17 Matte, 18 Nude, 19 Diesel, 20 Recycled, 23 Love letter, 26 Logo, 27 Oscar, 28 Fashion.
 MAGAZINE

Photography Raw Pixel

LIFE LESSONS

“It gave me such a buzz,

I kept going”
AFTER YEARS OF IGNORING HER DREAM OF BEING A WRITER, ANNA BARNES
CARRIED OUT A SINGLE ACT THAT WOULD CHANGE EVERYTHING…

E ver since I completed my first short story at

the age of six, I had dreamt of being a writer.
My family always thought I would be one, as did
my friends. It was my thing. But what people
didn’t realise, to my shame, was that I wasn’t
doing any writing at all. I was just a dreamer,
letting life, feelings of self-doubt, and excuses get
in the way of pursuing my dream.
It was coming up to Christmas in 2015, and,
as always, I desperately wanted to be able to
tell my friends and family, “Yes, I’m working on
something great”, when they inevitably asked
about my writing. This year, I realised that
I didn’t just want to say it to them; I wanted
to say it to myself as well. But in order to do it,
I had to silence the nagging insecurities that had
hindered me in the past. That day, I went
to the stationers, bought the most appealing
notebook and vowed to just write something!
And I did. I wrote a sentence. It was some
nonsense about my walk to work that morning.
But it felt good to put pen to paper. With that
one sentence, the doubts were a little quieter.
The next night, I wrote another sentence –
completely unrelated to the first – but it didn’t
matter, because I was finally writing. It gave me
such a buzz, I kept going until I was writing a
page of A4 a night. I found that my mind was
waking up and revealing ideas, layer upon layer,
which I never knew were there.
Eventually, this inspired my book, How to
Quieten Your Mind, because, no matter what
your ambition is, I believe that by simply
clearing your mind and taking control, anybody
can find the confidence within themselves to live
the life they’ve always dreamed of.

Anna Barnes is the author of How to Quieten Your Mind (Vie, £9.99) and has a longstanding interest in
mindfulness and emotional wellbeing. When she’s not writing she enjoys coastal walks and t’ai chi.

114 WWW.CALMMOMENT.COM
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