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The table illustrates the number of people who The table reveals the number of people visiting The table provides information on the total
visited Ashdown museum in the year before and Ashdown Museum, and the pie charts number of visitors to Ashdown Museum
the year after its refurbishment. Visitors were during the year b efore refurbishment a nd the
compare the changes in the levels of
surveyed about their satisfaction during their visit, year after refurbishment while the two pie
satisfaction of Ashdown Museum’s tourists,
the pie charts indicate the result of the surveys in charts compare the results of surveys of
the same two periods.
over the a two-year period. → between the
previous year and the following year of visitor satisfaction in the same periods above.
renovation.
→ Hơi dài. Có thể rút gọn lại như sau:
Looking as a whole, there was a significant
The table illustrates the changes in the number
of visitors to Ashdown Museum between the
increase in the proportion of visitor
It is clear that there was an increase in the satisfaction after Ashdown Museum was
previous and following period of refurbishment, satisfaction of visitors, relating to the rise in the
and also the two pie charts examine the levels refurbished, which led to the growth i n the
number of people visiting Ashdown Museum in number of visitors to it.
of these visitors’ satisfaction during the similar the year after refurbishment.
periods.
During the previous year w hen it was
Overall, it can be observed that the museum was In the first year of the period, there were 74000 refurbished, the percentage of visitor
more successful in terms of the number of visitors people went to the museum. However, the satisfaction was 45%, specifically very
the year after refurbishment, taking into account figure had increased to a higher number of satisfied and satisfied visitors account for
that the figure rose from 74,000 visitors to 92,000 92000 in the following year. 15% and 30% respectively. The same but
visitors. → Nếu em đang muốn đưa ra bức higher proportion of visitor dissatisfaction
tranh toàn cảnh - BIG PICTURE/OVERVIEW, was recorded and o nly/a mere 5% of the
em sẽ KHÔNG ĐƯỢC PHÉP đưa chi tiết cụ Before refurbishment, 40% of people asked
visitors did not respond.
thể. Cái này sẽ nằm ở đoạn thân bài đầu tiên - felt dissatisfied about their visit, higher than
detail paragraph the figures for satisfied and very satisfied
After Ashdown Museum was refurbished,
levels, about 30% and 15% respectively. After
people seemed to like visiting it more because
The main message is that there was a growing refurbishment, these figures increased to 40%
the number of visitor rises from 74000 to
degree of satisfaction at the museum, and 35% respectively, while only 15% of
92000 and the proportion of visitor
correlating to the considerably increasing people said that they felt dissatisfied about
satisfaction increases up to 75%. The
number of people accessing to this their visit. And the figure for very dissatisfied
establishment. percentage of dissatisfaction reduces
visitors decreased from 10% to 5% through the
considerably to 20%.
given period, being the smallest proportion of
According to the surveys conducted during the
five levels.
year before refurbishment, 40% of the people who This piece of writing shows a flexibility in
visited the museum were dissatisfied, whereas writing style.
30% were satisfied. The other figures were well
below the aforementioned ones: the number of
very satisfied is 15%, the percentage of very
dissatisfied and no response in turn 10% and 5%.
After the restoration, the number of visitors
increased markedly from 74,000 visitors to 92,000
visitors, the number of visitors to the museum felt
satisfied increased from 15% to 35%, more than 2
times. Moreover, the number of tourists who felt
dissatisfied from 40% down to 15% is also a
significant figure.
Cách diễn đạt còn khá đơn điệu, toàn bộ là số và
hơi máy móc liệt kê.
Tuy nhiên bài viết khá, có khả năng tiến bộ để đạt
điểm só tốt hơn.