assignment

by Haonan Zheng

Submission date: 14-Dec-2018 12:43PM (UTC+1000)

Submission ID: 1056790341

File name: 38599_73751910_1061956887_assignment.docx

Word count: 6245
Character count: 38885
 Grammar

Sp.

Vague
Grammar
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2

4
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Sp.

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Awk.
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assignment
ORIGINALITY REPORT

28 %
SIMILARITY INDEX
26%
INTERNET SOURCES
18%
PUBLICATIONS
24%
STUDENT PAPERS

PRIMARY SOURCES

Submitted to Curtin University of Technology

1
Student Paper 2%
Submitted to Griffth University
2
Student Paper 1%
Submitted to Central Queensland University
3
Student Paper 1%
Submitted to University of New South Wales
4
Student Paper 1%
Submitted to Australian Catholic University
5
Student Paper 1%
Submitted to University of Sydney
6
Student Paper 1%
Submitted to University of Northumbria at
7
Newcastle
1%
Student Paper

always.perpetual.com.au
8
Internet Source 1%
9 researchoutput.csu.edu.au
 Internet Source

1%
Submitted to Universiti Teknologi MARA
10 Student Paper 1%
ro.uow.edu.au
11 Internet Source 1%
firescholars.seu.edu
12 Internet Source 1%
Submitted to University of Western Sydney
13 Student Paper 1%
Submitted to Laureate Higher Education Group
14 Student Paper 1%
ddd.uab.cat
15 Internet Source 1%
eprints.lse.ac.uk
16 Internet Source 1%
Submitted to Michigan State University
17 Student Paper 1%
cms-business.sydney.edu.au
18 Internet Source 1%
Submitted to University of Utah
19 Student Paper <1%
Kyoung Tae Kim, Somer G. Anderson, Martin
20 <1%
 C. Seay. "Financial Knowledge and Short-Term
and Long-Term Financial Behaviors of
Millennials in the United States", Journal of
Family and Economic Issues, 2018
Publication

onlinelibrary.wiley.com
21 Internet Source <1%
Submitted to University Of Tasmania
22 Student Paper <1%
Submitted to Southern Alberta Institute of
23
Technology Polytechnic
<1%
Student Paper

Submitted to EDMC
24 Student Paper <1%
www.afcpe.org
25 Internet Source <1%
www.vse.cz
26 Internet Source <1%
www.liseducation.org.au
27 Internet Source <1%
Anne-Maree Sawyer, Sara James. "Are baby
28
boomer women redefining retirement?",
<1%
Sociology Compass, 2018
Publication

29 Dikla Segel-Karpas, Peter A. Bamberger,

 Samuel B. Bacharach. "The Prevalence and
Distribution of Aging-Friendly Human Resource <1%
Practices", The International Journal of Aging
and Human Development, 2015
Publication

Submitted to Edith Cowan University

30 Student Paper <1%
Submitted to The University of Notre Dame
31 Student Paper <1%
Submitted to Texas State University- San
32
Marcos
<1%
Student Paper

Submitted to University of Reading

33 Student Paper <1%
Submitted to Kaplan Professional
34 Student Paper <1%
ifrnd.org
35 Internet Source <1%
Submitted to University of Technology, Sydney
36 Student Paper <1%
btp.press.vgtu.lt
37 Internet Source <1%
one.aom.org
38 Internet Source <1%
 publications.lib.chalmers.se
39 Internet Source <1%
capco.com
40 Internet Source <1%
2018conference.ascilite.org
41 Internet Source <1%
Submitted to Southern Cross University
42 Student Paper <1%
link.springer.com
43 Internet Source <1%
Submitted to Sheffield Hallam University
44 Student Paper <1%
idtools.org
45 Internet Source <1%
spectre.cqu.edu.au
46 Internet Source <1%
www.cdu.edu.au
47 Internet Source <1%
demo.ands.org.au
48 Internet Source <1%
www.sajhrm.co.za
49 Internet Source <1%
50 www.afdb.org
Internet Source
 <1%
www.degruyter.com
51 Internet Source <1%
preview-human-resources-
52
health.biomedcentral.com
<1%
Internet Source

journal.tplondon.com
53 Internet Source <1%
taxwatch.org.au
54 Internet Source <1%
archimer.ifremer.fr
55 Internet Source <1%
www.law.harvard.edu
56 Internet Source <1%
www.ingentaconnect.com
57 Internet Source <1%
www.amsa.org.au
58 Internet Source <1%
human-resources-health.biomedcentral.com
59 Internet Source <1%
researchbank.rmit.edu.au
60 Internet Source <1%
fsi.gov.au
 Internet Source
61
<1 %
Worthington, Andrew C. "Financial literacy and
62
financial literacy programmes in Australia",
<1%
Journal of Financial Services Marketing, 2013.
Publication

academic.oup.com
63 Internet Source <1%
John Gibson, Chao Li. "The “Belt and Road
64 <1%
Initiative” and comparative regional productivity
in China", Asia & the Pacific Policy Studies,
2018
Publication

Exclude quotes Of f Exclude matches Off

Exclude bibliography Of f
assignment
GRADEMARK REPORT

FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

A good understanding of the f our issues has been

75
demonstrated, however needed more specif ic
information on the role of government to show a
thorough understanding of what is currently being
done.

/100
Cases are simple but reasonably well executed.
Could use f urther evidence of the benef it of the
strategies, or explored other complex issues to
demonstrate an expert understanding.

Ref erences are of a high quality. Evidence

supporting strategy recommendations could be
better explained and contained a minor error.

Overall a good well presented report. Needed more

editing to improve grammar throughout.

PAGE 1

PAGE 2

PAGE 3

QM Grammar
Incorrect grammar

QM Sp.
Spelling error

QM Vague
Unclear:
 When making a point in one of your body paragraphs, one of the most common mistakes is to
not of f er enough details. A paragraph without much detail will seem vague and sketchy. A paper
is always strengthened when your claims are as specif ic as possible, The more detailed
evidence you of f er, the more ref erence points your reader will have. Remember that you are
communicating your argument to a reader who has only your description to go by. Someone
who reads your essay will not automatically know what you mean to express, so you have to
supply details, to show the reader what you mean, not just tell him or her.

PAGE 4

QM Grammar
Incorrect grammar

PAGE 5

PAGE 6

Comment 1
This was renounced last year.

PAGE 7

Comment 2
This is a f airly dated ref erence.

Comment 3
There are several specif ic initiatives that the government has introduced to help with the gap,
such as spouse contribution rebate, contribution splitting, and catch-up concessional
contributions.

Comment 4
This sentence is contradictory. Need a clearer explanation.

PAGE 8

Comment 5
Needed to increase the f ocus on what the role of government and other stakeholders is and
what they are doing about this.

QM Sp.
Spelling error
 Comment 6

I f ind this explanation conf using. There is no $2,820 in the example? And she previously was
not contributing anything additional?

PAGE 9

Comment 7
Ah, ok. Now I get where that f igure came f rom. The meaning of what was written above does
not match what has occurred in the table.

Comment 8
It is a good idea to also show the projected balance at retirement based on this strategy and
without. When advising you should do this as it communicates the long term benef it to the
client.

QM Awk.
Awkward:
The expression or construction is cumbersome or dif f icult to read. Consider rewriting.

PAGE 10

Comment 9
Up to 10%. Need to be clear with what you are saying as you do not have them withdrawing
10% in the table below.

Comment 10

I get a dif f erent tax f igure. Have you used the new tax rates? Have you included the pension
rebate?

PAGE 11

PAGE 12

Comment 11
This should be relevant to your case studies, as in challenges to the recommended strategies
or implementation. Such as overcoming inertia, or the government changing the rules.

PAGE 13

Comment 12
Again, this should be relevant to your case studies. What other strategies could be
 recommended?

PAGE 14

PAGE 15

PAGE 16

PAGE 17

PAGE 18

PAGE 19

PAGE 20

GRADING FORM: 7214AFE 2018 TRIMESTER 3

HAONAN ZHENG 75
CRITERION 1

Current issues (10%) Learning Outcome 1.1 Demonstrate knowledge

of current demographic issues impacting on Retirement planning

Good level of understanding of the four identified

issues and/or not all issues comprehensively 15
understood.

CRITERION 2

Role of government (5%) Learning Outcome 1.1 Demonstrate

understanding of current legislation, role of government and/or other
stakeholder
 Good explanation of the role of government and
legislation, and other stakeholders in response to 7
the issues.

CRITERION 3

Case studies (15%) Learning Outcomes 1.2, 1.3, 1.4 Apply advanced
theoretical and technical knowledge as it applies to superannuation,
retirement planning, taxation, and social security.

Appropriate case scenarios are developed that

focus on contemporary problems. 23
Recommendations are appropriate and demonstrate
a high ability to apply advanced technical knowledge
of retirement planning for different demographic
groups.

CRITERION 4

Sources/evidence (15%) Learning Outcomes 1.1, 1.2, 1.3, 1.4

Good level of research using quality sources,

including academic references and correct citations. 24
Basic evidence for case study recommendations.

CRITERION 5

Presentation (5%) Professional appearance (format, spelling,

grammar)

Report presents with mistakes and/or formatting

issues. 6