(https://introvertdear.

com)

/ March 26, 2019

Top 10 Reasons Why INFJs

Are Walking Paradoxes
by Deborah Ward(https://introvertdear.com/news/author/deborah-ward/)

I
NFJs(https://introvertdear.com/news/infj-personality-type-signs/)
often feel misunderstood. Perhaps it’s because they’re
quiet and reserved and tend to share their deepest
thoughts and feelings only with select people. Or maybe it’s
because they are so rare, making up less than 1 percent of
the population.
More likely though, it’s because they are walking, talking
contradictions. As introverts(https://introvertdear.com) who want
to help people, and feelers who love logic, they can seem
confusing, even to themselves.

These contrary characteristics are not due to a lack of

conviction or an intent to mislead. We all know that INFJs
value personal integrity very highly. No, the reason INFJs are
confusing is because they are complex people who are
struggling to understand themselves. But once they do, they
can use their plethora of paradoxes to truly make the world a
better place.

— Advertisement. Scroll down to continue. —

Here are the top 10 contradictory traits of the INFJ. See how
many you recognize in yourself!

Contradictory Traits of the INFJ

1. Introverted and people-oriented
The dominant function of INFJs is Introverted
Intuition(https://introvertdear.com/news/how-introverted-intuition-
works-for-infjs-and-intjs/), which means they focus primarily on
their internal world of ideas. But their auxiliary function is
Extraverted Feeling, which gives them a focus on people.

In her book, What’s Your Type of Career?

(https://amzn.to/2TeQ6KH) psychologist Donna Dunning calls
INFJs “compassionate visionaries” because they have a
values-based focus that emphasizes the needs and feelings of
people. This contradiction means that INFJs are torn between
their need to socialize and their need for time
alone(https://introvertdear.com/news/introverts-alone-time-science-
marti-olsen-laney/) to think.
As an INFJ, I enjoy spending time with people, but if I’ve
spent too much time around others, I feel exhausted, burned
out and I need several days to recuperate. But that doesn’t
stop me being a shoulder to cry on!

2. Crave connections and feel overwhelmed

Unlike many other types, INFJs need more than just
company. An evening spent chatting is a night out from hell.
What INFJs really need from their interactions is a
meaningful connection. They want to get to know other
people deeply — their passions, desires, and motives — and
they want other people to know them deeply in return. But
this process is exhausting because we’re forever seeking a
level of intimacy that other people don’t often share.
For INFJs, it’s quality that counts, not quantity.

3. Stand up for others and neglect themselves

INFJs have a passionate desire to help people, so much so
that it can take over every area of their life, including their
relationships with friends and colleagues, as well as in
romance. But it’s very easy for this sensitive type to give way
too much and put other people’s needs before their own.

Have you noticed how you can steadfastly stick up for

another person’s rights while struggling to speak up for
yourself? That’s the paradox of the INFJ. You need to set clear
boundaries(https://introvertdear.com/news/introverts-the-life-
changing-power-of-setting-healthy-boundaries/) about how much
you will give — and remember to keep some of that
compassion for yourself.

4. Creative and rational

The combination of introversion, sensitivity, and empathy in
INFJs creates a person who absorbs lots of information from
the world and the people around them. INFJs are constantly
processing this steady stream of details. Consequently, they
need a way to release all that energy and express what
they’ve learned in a meaningful and creative way.
(https://www.truity.com/blog/why-do-so-many-infjs-want-be-writers)

But INFJs are more than just dreamers. They are also
practical, organized, logical
people(https://www.truity.com/blog/why-infjs-are-both-thinkers-and-
feelers-and-how-find-balance-between-two) who enjoy thinking,
analyzing, and studying complex ideas. As an INFJ
writer(https://introvertdear.com/news/infjs-trouble-writing/), I love
playing with words and using my Introverted Intuition to
create stories. But I also love learning and have discovered a
passion for science.

I often felt torn between what appeared to be opposite

interests — but they don’t have to be. INFJs can be both
creative and rational, artistic and logical, writers and
scientists.

5. Detail-oriented and big-picture thinkers

The minds of INFJs are always busy making sense of
information, seeing patterns, forming theories, and creating
ideas. As intuitives, INFJs are focused on the big picture.
They like information that is abstract, conceptual, and
future-oriented. They see possibilities everywhere and
become absorbed in the way that disparate elements can
connect.

But they also care about the details of their vision and work
hard to get it right, whether they’re writing a song or
preparing a presentation. However, sometimes they get so
caught up in the details of their ideas that they forget about
the details of everyday life! Consequently, INFJs can spend
hours tinkering with a sentence while forgetting to pay the
electricity bill.

I’m always thinking about ideas, which means I’ve learned to

write myself reminder notes so I don’t forget my dentist
appointment, or my lunch, while I’m planning my grand
vision.
6. Perceptive and gullible
Ah yes, the “G” word! As sensitive, intuitive people, INFJs
have a highly accurate sixth sense about others. Our finely
tuned empathy means we can feel others’
feelings(https://highlysensitiverefuge.com/highly-sensitive-people-
absorb-emotions/) — and yes, we know when they’re not telling
the whole truth. We have this ability to see through people’s
outward persona to the real person underneath. We are also
experts at body language and can detect subtleties in tone of
voice and language. This can make us appear almost psychic
— okay, at the very least, weird — to people who don’t have
these abilities.

Problem is, once we get to know someone, we can be

stupidly gullible and overly trusting — trust me, I’ve been
there. As one of Keirsey’s
Idealists(https://keirsey.com/temperament/idealist-overview/), we
tend to see the best in people and can be fooled into
believing someone is trustworthy when they are not.

7. Quiet and passionate

In his book, Creativity: The Psychology of Discovery and
Invention(https://amzn.to/2HL3C6m), psychologist Mihaly
Csikszentmihalyi describes 10 antithetical traits of creative
people, many of which can be applied to INFJs, who are
themselves creative. One of these is the tendency for creative
types to be both full of energy and requiring a lot of rest.
INFJs often appear as quiet, shy, and withdrawn individuals,
but underneath that reserved exterior is a cauldron of ideas
and passions, quietly bubbling away.

INFJs are always thinking about their next project and feel a
fiery enthusiasm about the causes that are so important to
them. So while their dedication to the common good
combined with their sponge-like ability to pick up
information gives them an enormous source of energy, it also
means they need long periods of rest and quiet time to
reflect and recharge.

8. Smart and naïve

According to Csikszentmihalyi, creative types are usually
intelligent people, who also tend to exhibit a childlike
manner. Children are often creative and yet many of us lose
that creativity when we get older — and perhaps that’s
because when we’re young, we’re given the freedom to play.
Creativity is really about looking at things as if you’re seeing
them for the first time and making innovative connections.

Creative people, including INFJs, have the ability to see

things in this childlike way, free from the constraints,
judgements, and criticisms that often stop others from being
creative as adults. A keen sense of curiosity, wonder, and fun
can make you appear naïve and immature, but it can also
mean you’re a highly creative person.

9. Playful and responsible

Related to the previous point, INFJs who are creative tend to
have a playfulness about them. This quality leaves their
minds open to experience, and consequently, to further
creative endeavors. But this sense of play works in tandem
with a dedicated responsibility to their work and to the
people they work with. INFJs are committed to working hard
and doing their best, especially on the projects that are part
of their creative vision.
The INFJ Judging preference also gives them a drive to finish
what they start and to be neat and organized. As an INFJ, my
Judging preference has given me the self-discipline to write
books and articles. But I also have been known to laugh out
loud while watching The Muppet Show, especially episodes
with my favourite character, Pepé the King Prawn.

Want more INFJ articles? Subscribe to our INFJ-only

newsletter here(http://eepurl.com/dsCMXX).

10. Conservative and rebellious

Despite the stereotypical image of the rebellious artist, INFJs
are like many creative people in that they embrace both
tradition and novelty. According to Csikszentmihalyi, it
would be difficult to be creative without appreciating what
has gone before. But it’s also important to take risks and try
something new.

It’s often said that INFJs are hard to pick out of a crowd
because they try to fit in and look like everyone else. But they
are silent rebels, always working behind the scenes to
change the status quo, to create works of art that will make
people think, and to use their empathy, compassion, and
vision to make the world a better place.

INFJs are unique for many reasons, and not just because
they’re rare. They’re also quiet, sensitive people who are full
of contradictions and can seem like several different people,
even to those who’ve known them for years. But integrity is
always at the heart of the INFJ as they quietly, methodically,
passionately, and creatively work to express themselves and
bring people and ideas together.

What’s your personality type? Take a free, 15-minute

assessment from Truity here(https://www.truity.com/test/type-
finder-personality-test-new). 

You might like:

Here’s How Birth Order Shapes the INFJ
Personality(https://introvertdear.com/news/birth-order-infj-
personality/)

47 Things I Wish Other People Knew About Me as an

INFJ(https://introvertdear.com/news/infj-with-other-people-knew/)
9 Brutally Honest Confessions of an
INFJ(https://introvertdear.com/news/infj-brutally-honest-
confessions/)

A version of this post(https://www.truity.com/blog/top-ten-reasons-

why-infjs-are-walking-paradoxes) was originally published on
Truity(https://www.truity.com). It is republished here with
permission from the author.

8 Comments Introvert, Dear 

1 Login

 Recommend 8 t Tweet f Share Sort by Oldest

Join the discussion…

LOG IN WITH OR SIGN UP WITH DISQUS ?

Name

tmgukcatfan
4 days ago
− ⚑

I find many of these things very representative of my personality especially if

I find many of these things very representative of my personality especially if
you replace the passion for helping people with a passion for helping
animals. I often feel that the passion INFJs bring to the human causes they
support is emphasized over the passion that some of us have for doing the
same sort of work for animals.
2△ ▽ Reply

Amy
4 days ago
− ⚑

Relate to every one of these. So so true. Brilliant article.

△ ▽ Reply

Linda Z
4 days ago
− ⚑

Yes, to a T!! I actually ended up going through a breakdown about 9 years

ago, not knowing how to manage some of these things. I've had to learn to set
some boundaries and not be goodhearted to the point of being naive to
damaging situations.
△ ▽ Reply

Galisma
4 days ago
− ⚑

all of the above are totally accurate -according to me. and that honestly
makes me feel like i have a lot of burden. to try understand myself, to put my
feelings.. but good! yah.. great!!
△ ▽ Reply

spacechampion
3 days ago
− ⚑

Dualities, not paradoxes. A duality looks like a paradox close up, but when
you step back and see the bigger picture in the myriad of different contexts,
you see the duality is a balance of influences, personas, and choices.
△ ▽ Reply

Albert Keinstein
2 days ago
− ⚑

They have Ni,they are NOT big picture thinkers. Lately I've seen these mass
produced articles about mbti, made by people who describe people's
personality in a that makes, for example ENFJ, just a hard working less
tolerant ENFP. Ugh
△ ▽ Reply

Kimberly Dawn Rempel

a day ago
− ⚑

Well done! I love how succinctly and accurately you've crafted this mirror. I
see me in it, which of course, I love, because it helps me understand and
i lf d h h i
communicate self and others. Sharing!
△ ▽ Reply

Tiffany Sollog
15 hours ago
− ⚑

This is exactly me. I feel like a walking contradiction.

Just curious... are a lot of INFJs Gemini? I am, and duality/ contradiction goes
with this sign.
△ ▽ Reply

ALSO ON INTROVERT, DEAR

What … Here’s …
17 comments • 2 days ago 11 comments • 23 days ago
Katie — Naomi Ekhelar —
Avatar Avatar
Why … 5…
1 comment • a month ago 2 comments • 19 days ago
Amy — Errol Ngoda —
Avatar Avatar

✉ Subscribe d Add Disqus to your siteAdd DisqusAdd

🔒 Disqus' Privacy PolicyPrivacy PolicyPrivacy
AN ELITE CAFEMEDIA LIFESTYLE PUBLISHER