Myself as a Communicator Pt 2 / Pt 3

Austa Feller

1. How am I at articulating my needs, opinions, views, or concerns?

 I think you’re good at it, and I think you’re also getting better at it because you try
really hard to explain in a concise way what you’re looking for, but sometimes you get
angry and frustrated if I don’t understand what you’re asking me for. But I know you’ve
been working on it, because we’ve talked about it when helping you with homework.
You’re good at being straightforward when you need me to do something specific rather
than just reading your mind. For example, I made it a habit of letting your dog into your
room without asking and you asked me not to without getting angry.

2. How am I as a listener?

 You’re trying. But you sometimes, if I say something that reminds you of something,
you talk over me and hurry and input your thought, or you’ll just completely stop
listening to what I’m saying, and you’ll start thinking about whatever I reminded you of.
And then I’ll have to repeat what I said because you weren’t listening. Unless you’re
looking at your computer or your phone I feel like you’re listening to me. I honestly don’t
notice anything unless you’re interrupting me or looking at something else. When we’re
both involved in the conversation, I feel like you respond in all the right ways, you make
eye contact and show me you’re listening and all that jazz, the only time when the
interrupting doesn’t bother me is when we’re having a back and forth conversation.

3. What aspects of my nonverbal behavior are effective? What can be improved?

 You make eye contact with me, you seem open to talk to most of the time with your
body language, your face can’t lie though, if I say something that pisses you off, your
face automatically lets me know before you even say the sarcastic, “cool.” Sometimes, if
I’m trying to tell you something, and an animal is doing something cut nearby, I
definitely see them, but you’ll stop listening to them and you’ll motion to me that there is
a cute animal around, and you want me to acknowledge the cute thing being around even
when I’m in the middle of what I’m saying. That’s interrupting even though it’s
nonverbal. To improve, I would suggest to just listen to what I’m saying, and it’s fine to
notice what the pet is doing, but don’t derail the conversation for the sake of looking at
cute animal behavior.

4. What are my communication strengths?

 When you are actively listening, you’re a good listener. You’re really good at
suggesting solutions when I ask for them, that I may not have thought of. You’re
engaging, you’re really good at stimulating conversation to keep it going. When I tell you
 about a bad day or a problem that I’ve been facing, you empathize really well, and never
just tell me to get my shit together.

5. What are my communication weaknesses?

 You need to work on actively listening more often and not getting distracted by your
surroundings, like what’s happening outside of the conversation, in the same room as us,
etc. Maybe don’t get defensive when people suggest you fix things… Sometimes you
seem closed off if we’ve been fighting about something, you’ll just shut down and leave
the room rather than resolve it. It’s been awhile since we’ve had anything like that, so I
can tell you’re working on it, but still. With getting defensive, it wouldn’t necessarily be
like defending what you did, but you’d be like “but you do it too”, so rather than just
owning your mistake and saying you’ll fix it, you try to deflect blame elsewhere, I guess.

6. What is it like to have a conversation with me?

 Engaging, once again. Very engaging. Our conversations kind of build on each other
and, like, I’ll say something, and then you’ll also say something that it reminded you of,
and then we’ll talk about that thing, and that thing will remind us of another thing, and
we can go on for hours this way. Just talking. And it’s really fun and I love it. When we
have discussions, and we have opposing viewpoints, we kind of just explain, I’m not
telling you you’re wrong, I just disagree, and then we explain our point of view and hear
each other out and come to and understanding of the other’s opinion on the topic. You
make such smart, funny contributions to situations, just in every day life, and you really
are the funniest person I know.

Vicki Hansen

1. How am I at articulating my needs, opinions, views, or concerns?

 I can tell when you want something, before you even ask it. So, I would say, you’re
good at communicating. You don’t just rely on voice, you use body language. You rely
on tone, the way you ask something. You’re good with sharing your opinions with me. It
might just be because of how close we are, I don’t know, I think it depends on who
you’re talking with. It depends on what the opinion is on, if it’s political or music, or
movies, or whatever. You’re more apt to share things that are not as antagonistic. When
you’re not mad, you’re good at communicating your concerns, when you’re mad, then all
you are communicating is I’m mad. You’re effective when talking about concerns (after
the anger has passed), but it’s not like that’s the only time you convey that stuff. Those
are just the examples that I think of that you’re trying to share with me. And you’re good
at helping me to understand what your problem is.

2. How am I as a listener?
  With me, I think you’re a very good listener. I can’t think of when you’re not, really.
Ok… when you’re in a hurry you’re not a good listener. You make me feel like you’re
listening by your comments, you don’t just sit and listen, you interject things that show
empathy, and that add to the conversation to show me that you’re paying attention. When
you’re on your phone, and we’re out or in a restaurant, or just if you’re on your phone,
you’re not listening as well. Like you’re getting ready, you’re not listening very well
because you’re paying attention to getting ready, or when you’re doing homework.
You’re so focused on the homework that you’re not listening, and I feel bad for those
interruptions. When you were younger, you would always have you on your mind, all
about you, and it was harder to get you to see my perspective. Like when you didn’t want
to go to school or like when you wanted me to bail you out from some presentation at
school, and it’s not like I can just drop everything and do it, I’m in charge of 30 students,
I can’t just drop everything and contact another teacher, and you weren’t very nice.
That’s when you called me and after you’d sent me a text, and on the phone you said,
Can you not read? And I couldn’t believe you were talking to me that way. It has improve
though, oh my gosh yes. When it’s one on one, and I’m talking to you about a problem, I
feel like you mostly are actively and sincerely listening, especially when I know you’re
not rushed with other stuff, or have other things on your mind. If it’s one on one then yes
definitely, because I know you have a full life.

3. What aspects of my nonverbal behavior are effective? What can be improved?

 I can tell that you’re listening to me, you don’t have to be talking. You make eye
contact, and your body language shows me that you’re listening. You communicate well
with body language with me. Even if you’re facing away from me, and we’re talking, I
know that you’ll be listening to me if you’re participating in the conversation. When
you’re driving and you are upset, you don’t wanna communicate at all, you don’t wanna
listen, you don’t wanna talk, you’re unapproachable. It has gotten better over the years,
but you still could work on it. What you say and how you act, you just can feel the
tension, and you’re not talking nicely about other drivers, or sometimes when you grab
your in-car stress ball while driving, that’s a clear sign to me that you don’t wanna
interact, and it puts me right into alert mode. You’re good about making eye contact, you
seem interested in what I’m saying, you’re a good listener, I think you’re active at
showing the other person that you’re listening.

4. What are my communication strengths?

 You put people at ease when you talk to them. Well you used to be so shy, like in
restaurants, you wouldn’t ever order things yourself, you wouldn’t order things or talk on
the phone, you’re much better now about those things, you’re so nice, and I think that’s
why you were so successful and why you were hired immediately at your call center job,
because you’re impressive, you’re nice, and you’re smart, so you’re not coming across as
a nice airhead. Depending on who we’re with, you communicate different. If it’s with
family, you interject and participate, if we’re with strangers, that depends, if they talk to
you about your tattoo then you’re open and honest, and like around friends, or the Moons,
you contribute and participate, around your own friends, I think that depends on who that
 is too, I know you’re not quiet around Katelyn and Holli, but when it’s all the guy friends
I don’t know that you necessarily talk a lot.

5. What are my communication weaknesses?

 I know you have problems talking in front of people, like groups or a presentation or a
report. I’ve never seen, well no, that’s not true, I saw you do the speech at Austa and
Chris’s wedding, and you did an awesome job, you really did. It was impressive that you
used cards, and you practiced, you didn’t just read it. If I feel like you’re annoyed with
me, then it’s difficult to feel like I’m being understood. When you were younger, you
were quick to judge or say mean things that later you would apologize for, but that’s
gotten better over the years. It just got bad when you’d apologize, but then you wouldn’t
change. We’ve talked about this, and like I’ve said, your communication has improved as
you’ve matured. In watching you write some of your papers, sometimes your written
communication, you have a hard time getting to what your opinion is.

6. What is it like to have a conversation with me?

 You’re one of my favorite people to have a conversation with. Conversations with you
can be very fun. I think we learn from each other, life lessons, struggles, successes.
Observations of your own life. Sharing some self-reflection. The only thing I can say
about bad conversations with you is, it might take us a minute to get past the episode,
whatever you wanna call it, the argument, the being mad, the hurt feelings, whatever, but
once we get past it, there is good conversation afterwards for clarity, apologies, empathy,
understanding. We work through it, and get past it, instead of pausing at a hard moment,
and then coming back later and pretending that it never happened, because that won’t
solve anything. You come up with the best jokes or remarks on the spot, and

Derrick Nogueira

1. How am I at articulating my needs, opinions, views, or concerns?

 I think you’re very thorough when you address your concerns about anything. There
are very few times when I feel the need to ask you to clarify something, when you ask
something, you generally give me the gist of what you’re asking for. You’re very
perceptive on whether I’m confused on a subject or not, and you give me clarification
without me asking when it is needed. I think your communication behaviors are ok, you
let me know when you need I think you give me consistently, a well-articulated response,
when we do have an argument or a disagreement, you think thoroughly things that like
bother you and stuff like that, you give points that get me to think extra about the subject.
Well when we had the discussion about politics, you were pretty thorough and you even
convinced me to decide to vote, you give me concise points and reasons, you walk it
through for me, every step as to why I need to vote, and the benefits of doing it, and it
 convinced me to. Sometimes, it’s not like the point, when you communicate something,
sometimes you cut them off to express your point further, before letting them respond, I
guess communication is a two-way street.

2. How am I as a listener?

 You’re a pretty good listener. Aside from that one point when you do cut me off
sometimes, but aside from that you listen to me. Make me feel like you’re listening by
your input into the conversations, you consistently look like you’re engaged when I’m
talking to you, you make eye contact, if we’re having a serious conversation you typically
face me so we can have a face to face conversation. But even when we’re in bed, and
cuddling, and you’re facing the other way, but we’re talking, I can still tell that you’re
listening even though we’re not making eye contact. I don’t get the vibe that I can’t talk
to you, aside from when you kind of hide away I guess if you don’t want to talk. There
were a few times when I’ve caught you not listening to me when I’m talking to you
because you’re focusing on the tv, it happens from time to time.

3. What aspects of my nonverbal behavior are effective? What can be improved?

 You’re not stagnant, you’re expressive with your body and your facial expressions.
When you speak, it helps me, and it’s easier to hold my attention. I don’t have a
preference to how you react, or how you talk, I honestly feel like when you talk to me
about things, you express them in the effective way in the way I feel like a normal person
would, something you wouldn’t normally have to repeat to me, you’re easy to
understand, you’re good at holding a person’s attention, and I don’t see you folding your
arms or feeling reserved or uninterested, you don’t give off that vibe. I think if you
continue when you wanna tell somebody something, tell it to them with the confidence
that knowing completely about the subject that you’re discussing about. I think with
public speaking, I know you have a more shy approach, you don’t like to speak publicly,
but I think you would do quite fine if you did. I think you carry an aura of positive
attitude around with you, makes you very easy going, it allows people to get along with
you very easily, you’ve met my parents, and my entire family likes you, because of how
nice you are and stuff, and same thing goes for our friends, all of our friends would say
the same thing honestly. When you speak, you speak very genuinely, and when you’re
engaged in conversation, it doesn’t seem like your mind is somewhere else, you don’t
have anything else distracting you from the conversation.

4. What are my communication strengths?

 You hold eye contact when speaking to people, you also speak with clarity in any
given situation, you smile a lot, and make yourself very approachable to hold an extended
conversation with. You’re not afraid to talk and be heard when you’re around some of my
guy friends, but when you’re around my friends you are more reserved, but it is kind of
because we are hard to communicate with us when we’re in our own worlds playing
video games, we’re not really communicating there. But as far as communication with
 me and my friends goes, if you know what the subject is about, then you don’t really
have a problem with getting involved in the conversation.

5. What are my communication weaknesses?

 With me personally, there are sometimes that I feel like you could verbally
communicate something to me, rather than nonverbal communication, like you do
sometimes. Sometimes I don’t catch on to those, but when you actually communicate
things to me it’s very well understood. When it comes to weaknesses, I don’t know.
You’re pretty good when it comes to active listening, sometimes I feel like you are afraid
to speak your mind on some subjects when I feel like you shouldn’t be. I think it’s safe to
have opposing viewpoints with you, when we have disagreements we work together to
accommodate both of us to the best of both of our abilities. I feel like it’s worked out this
far.

6. What is it like to have a conversation with me?

 Fun. I enjoy conversations with you. You’re very approachable and fun to converse
with. You have the ability to hold a conversation with me for hours, and when we do
have differences of opinion, you bring it up in a nonconfrontational way which makes it
easy to digest and handle, and it never really turns things into antagonistic, or a
confrontation. A lot of times when we communicate, you tell me things that you see on
Facebook or stuff like that, which are inconsequential in our lives, but if you have
something that’s really bothering you, sometimes, depending on what the problem is, you
sometimes shy away, but sometimes when you are open to me, you’re clear and concise
about what you need and what you want, you never come into a conversation wanting to
argue, and since our relationship, we never really had a real argument, we just talk things
out. We have had so many good conversations, I can’t specifically remember one. You
make me laugh, you have a very quick wit, and that definitely keeps things interesting.