I.

SOCIO-CULTURAL CONTEXT OF THE FAMILY FAMILY AS A SOCIAL INSTITUTION

Lights - The progress of our society depends completely on
• Greater freedom how strong the families are.
• Better recognition of the rights of women and ROLE AND RESPONSIBILITIES IN THE FAMILY
children - The man and the woman are given the responsibility
Shadows to take care of their children, because the future of
• Individualism the Church and the society depends on them.
• Crisis of faith - Parents must be concerned as to “how they can best
Problems threatening the Family ensure that their children will grow up as genuine
• Poverty (inability to meet the members’ needs) 
 Christians and successful adults”.
• Physical or psychological exploitation among The family ...
individual 
members 
 • is the primary unit where children learn to socialize.
• Domestic violence 
 • is where children learn the fundamental relational
• Substance addiction 
 skills. 

• Single parenting 
 • provides its members with social identity. 

• OFWs 
 MISSION OF THE FAMILY
• Changing family structures 
 • Love each other 

Families experience: • Pray together 

- Loneliness arising from the absence of God and • Make themselves a part of the liturgical worship of
fragility of relationships the Church 

- Powerlessness in the face of socio-cultural realities • Volunteer in the catechetical work of the Church
Families feel: • assist in preparing those who engaged to be married
- abandoned by the disinterest and lack of attention • Give support to married couples and families who
by institutions. experience material and moral crises 

RESULT: Wounded Individuals & Broken Families • Welcome strangers who need help 

What is family? If good values such as kindness, generosity, honesty
• A social institution that binds people together. and the like, could be practiced in every family life, this
• It is a group of people who support and love each will result in having a tolerant, self-giving, fair and just
other unconditionally. society as an outcome.
• A family is united by a strong bond not only by blood IDEAL vs REAL...
but by the intensification of their relationship as a - There’s still beauty in your brokenness. Don’t let
family. what you’re going through determine where you’re
FAMILY: basic unit/vital cell of society headed. Remember this: faith in God, not in man.
“Since the Creator of all things has established the - The broken cracks in our lives allow the most
conjugal partnership as the beginning and basis of beautiful part of us to emerge.
human society, the family is the first and vital cell of
society.” Apostolicam Actuositatem, 11 II. SOCIETY
• The fruit of conjugal love between spouses is LIFE. • group of people who are united by social
• In the family, future citizens are born and molded to relationships.
be able to carry out their role of service to society. • relatively self-contained and self-sufficient human
• Basic component fundamental to the life of the groups that are united by social relationships that
society make coordinated activities possible

CABALO2019
FUNCTIONS OF THE FAMILY
a. Regulation of Sexuality: Protecting stability of
relationship
- Sexuality is part of our being.
- "The human body, with its sex, and its masculinity
and femininity, seen in the very mystery of creation,
is not only a source of fruitfulness and procreation,
as in the whole natural order, but includes right from
the beginning the ‘nuptial' attribute, that is, the
capacity of expressing love: that love precisely in
which the man-person becomes a gift and — by
means of this gift — fulfils the very meaning of his
being and existence". Every form of love will always
bear this masculine and feminine character.
- "Sexuality is a fundamental component of
personality, one of its modes of being, of
manifestation, of communicating with others, of
feeling, of expressing and of living human love".
- Love is sexuality’s INTRINSIC end...love as donation
and acceptance, love as giving and receiving. 
 • EXTRA-MARITAL SEXUAL INTERCOURSE
- Love between a man and woman is achieved in total
self- giving, which is realized within the marriage
covenant where God has willed that human life be
conceived, grow and develop. 
 sexuality, which is gift from God.
- Love includes the human body, and the body is made
a sharer in spiritual love".
- In marriage, LOVE is expressed also through
CONJUGAL ACT.
- Conjugal act, in theological term, is realized in a truly
human way only if it is essential part of the love by
which man and woman commit themselves totally to
one another until death.
PURPOSE OF CONJUGAL ACT
- to express the mutual love and respect of husband
and wife
- to deepen their intimacy. Its end is to unite and
procreate (Gen. 4:1-2)
- sex within marriage is both a physical and a spiritual
act.
Marital/Conjugal Act must be:
Unitive - Complementary self-giving that draws the
couple together in love.
CABALO2019
> Sexual act must engender selflessness, promote
fidelity, and represent the pinnacle of friendship, the
complete handing over of oneself to another.
Procreative - Must be open to life
>Fecundity is a gift, an end of marriage, for conjugal love
naturally tends to be fruitful. A child does not come from
outside as something added on to the mutual love of the
spouses, but springs from the very heart of that mutual
giving, as its fruit and fulfillment.
“because of its intrinsic nature, the conjugal act, while
uniting husband and wife in the most intimate of bonds,
also makes them fit to bring forth new life according to
the laws written in their very nature as male and female.”
• From the day they give and receive their consent in
marriage, they freely give themselves a new identity
as husband and wife, spouses. 

• They commit themselves to one another throughout
their entire married life. And they must freely choose
to engage in the conjugal act. 

• OTHER FORMS OF SEXUAL PLEASURE OUTSIDE
THE GENUINE JOY OF LOVE BETWEEN MARRIED
MAN AND WOMAN
are against the dignity of human
b. Responsible Procreation: Producing good
citizens
- Through the sexual act, married couples are given
the power to cooperate with the God of love.
- “While procreation is not the only purpose of
marriage, it is one of the benefits that can result
from marriage.” Familiaris Consortio ( No. 14)
KEY POINTS IN THE TEACHINGS OF THE CHURCH
• Sexual love must be enjoyed within the divine
parameters
• Spouses should look after one another’s well-being.
• Couple must procreate when possible.
• Couple who procreate must fulfill their responsibility
as parents.
PARENTS AS CO-CREATORS WITH GOD
• Parents have the responsibility to decide on the
number of children they can care for as they
cooperate with God in this noble task (1 Timothy
3:5).
FOUR IMPORTANT THINGS TO REMEMBER:
1. God has made parents responsible for the
physical, emotional, and spiritual needs of the
children.
2. Parents will be able to fulfill their responsibility
when the number of children in a family is
reasonable and manageable.
3. Parents should not reproduce carelessly, having
many children yet failing to give the care they
deserve.
4. Married couples must discuss and make
decisions together regarding the regulation of
birth in the family.
c. Economic Cooperation: Cooperating in the
development of society
- “responsible citizenship is a virtue, and participation
in political life is a moral obligation”. Pope Francis in
“The Joy of the Gospel” (220)
- Families serve as the primary economic units. 
 for His Church.
- Families contain dependents such as infants,
children, elderly, disabled who 
cannot support
themselves. 
 Est 2 ).
- By sharing in a common economic unity, some
family members provide care for their dependent
kin. 
 the measure of human love. ( Deus Caritas Est 11)
- In primitive societies, able bodied adults will hunt
and gather food and then feed the rest of the family.
In modern societies, some family members earn
money to support the others. 
 -
- If a brother or a sister has nothing to wear and has
no food for the day, and one of you says to them “Go
in peace, keep warm. And eat well,” but you do not
give them the necessities of the body, what good is
it? (James 2:15-16)
- Nota Bene: No one is so poor that he has nothing to
give and no one is so rich that he cannot receive.
- Part of the responsibility of parents is to open their
children’s awareness on social concerns and
eventually encourage them to participate in charity
works and political activities.
d. Socialization: Promoting harmony
- Learning process by which infants are made into
normal human beings, possessed of culture and
able to participate in social relations
CABALO2019
- The family is the original cell of social life. 

- The family is the community in which, from
childhood, one can learn moral values, begin to
honor God. And make good use of freedom. 

- Family life is an initiation into life in society (CCC
2207). 

- The family is the cradle of life and love where they
are born and grow. 

- The family has a crucial role in society by being a
model of love for their children.
III. POSITIVE CONTRIBUTION OF FAMILY TO THE
SOCIETY
FAMILY IS THE BEDROCK OF SOCIETY.
- a model of loving relationship between spouses and
their children
THE COUPLE
- Their relationship should reflect the love of Jesus
- Love between them can be fully understood in the
light of the love of the crucified Christ ( Deus Caritas
- Marriage becomes the image of the relationship of
God and his people. God’s way of loving becomes
- Spouses must love each other according to Christ’s
pattern of love which is kind, patient, cherishing and
nourishing each other. 

The conjugal love is the greatest blessing that they
could have for each other. 

THE COUPLE AND THEIR CHILDREN
Father: living model of patience and kindness.
Mother: exemplar of being the refuge, comfort and
teacher that children are entitled to have.
Parents must show love to their children by:
• spending quality time with them, 

• educating them in human virtues 

• forming them in Christian faith so that they can carry
out the mission of Christ when their turn comes to
pass on the gospel to their own families. 

How can families contribute to the good of the society?
• By living according to the teachings of the church
• By taking steps to ensure that laws and institutions of IV. Why Do WE CALL THE FAMILY A DOMESTIC
the state are supporting and safeguarding the rights and CHURCH?
duties of the family. 4 TRUTHS
• The family must promote marriage as sacred, which is 1. Family Life is sacred
exclusive for a man and a woman as ordained by God in - Willed by God to be a communion of life and love,
the story of creation. reflecting the TRINITARIAN communion
• According to Familiaris Consortio (FC 45) “Both the - The family, which is founded and given life by love, is
state and society must defend the family and respect its a community of persons: of husband and wife, of
identity and its autonomy as a way of fulfilling the parents and children, of relatives. Its first task is to
requirements of the principle of subsidiarity”. live with fidelity the reality of communion in a
BUILDING FAMILY RELATIONS constant effort to develop and authentic community
• One of the major keys to happiness in marriage is of persons. (FC, 18)
“Mutual Respect”. 
 2. Family Activity is holy
• Another key is ”Fidelity”. The greatest gift a father - The family is a place of encounter with Christ within
could give to his children is to love and to be faithful the community especially when members are
to his wife. This may also be his way of showing actively participating in the mission of Christ
respect to his wife’s dignity as a person and to the entrusted to the Church.
family as a whole. 
 3. Family has a unique ministry
Effective Communication - involvement in different community programs that
- Family communication determines the quality of our reach out to those who are in need of spiritual or
loving relationship. The way we share the meaning material care (AL 86).
of who we are creates either a climate for growth or - The Christian family participates in the threefold
regression. mission of Jesus Christ, the prophetic, priestly, and
Effective Communication involves: kingly mission.
• Listening - The strength of the family’s mission can be
• Non-Verbal signs nourished and sustained by constant prayers to
• Directness God, frequently receiving the Eucharist and
• Clarity observance of the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
Enhancing Husband-Wife Communication: 4. Family is an evangelizing community
• Communicating non-verbally 
 - The family must be a believing and evangelizing
• Communicating as adults 
 community.
• Communicating as children 
 - The family must be the place where the Gospel is
• Communicating as husband and wife 
 transmitted and from which the Gospel radiates.
• Communicating spiritually 
 - The parents and their children must be the salt of the
• Communicating emotionally 
 world and leaven in the midst of humanity.
• Communicating mutual and diverse interests. 
 4-FOLD WITNESS OF THE CHURCH
• Communicating socially 
 a. Koinonia/Communion
• Communicating culturally 
 - In NT, it denotes reciprocity with God, with Christ,
• Communicating man’s/woman’s condition 
 with the Spirit.
- modeled after the relationship of the Trinity
Communication to a relationship is like oxygen to life. - What constitutes the Church is that each member is
Without it...it dies. conscious of being in relationship with the others,
living through them and for them. No one is there just
as themselves; no one believes just as themselves.
CABALO2019
b. Leitourgia/Worship - Education in the Essential Values of Human Life
- In NT, it denotes participation in the “work of God,” - Manifold Service to Life
the continuing work of their redemption. c. Participating in the development of the society
- gathering of small Christian communities for prayer - social service
and, especially, for the “breaking of the bread” - sharing
c. Diakonia/Service - political intervention
- Means service d. Sharing in the life and mission of the Church:
- The divine mission of serving others establishes the • Prophetic: Accept the Gospel and preach it to the
community as a group of disciples, such as a Church whole creation
of Brothers and Sisters • Priestly: The family is called to be sanctified and to
- Christians are summoned by the Lord and sent to sanctify the ecclesial community and the world. (FC,
serve nations and thus called upon to constantly 55)
modernize the most profound dimension of • Kingly: The Christian family is called to exercise its
Christian diakonia. “service” of love towards God and towards its fellow
d. Kerygma/Proclamation human beings. (FC,63)
- the apostolic proclamation of salvation through CHARACTERISTICS OF AN AUTHENTIC
Jesus Christ SPIRITUALITY
ELEMENTS: - Rooted in the Word of God
(1) Jesus Christ Death and Resurrection Lordship / - Intent on doing the will of the Father, following the
Ascension example of Jesus Christ
(2) Jesus reveals the Kingdom Jesus is the King CULTIVATING AN AUTHENTIC FAMILY SPIRITUALITY
(3) Conversion • Prioritizing the growth of the family as the household
(4) Eternal Life of the Lord (Jos. 24:15) 

SIMPLE FORM • Striving daily to live in renewed faith, hope and
• God loves me unconditionally and has created me charity 

for relationship with Him. 
 • Reading, reflecting and sharing the word of God
• I have broken my relationship with God by my sin. 
 • Doing most things together with parents working as
• Jesus restores my relationship with God through His 
one to educate their children integrally
life, death and resurrection. 
 • Encouraging respect for oneself and for other
• Jesus invites me to trust him, to turn from sin and to • Living simply and willing to make sacrifices for the
give my life to Him. 
 
common good
• Jesus has poured the Holy Spirit into 
my heart to • Volunteering for services and sharing family
bring me to new life in His Church. advocacies
TASKS AND MISSION OF THE FAMILY • Striving to be bulwark of forgiveness and
a. Forming a Community of Persons reconciliation
- Love is the principle and power of communion 
 • Accepting the Divine calling as an invitation to
- Conjugal love is its important element greater holiness for each child.
- Conjugal love is: FILIPINO FAMILY VALUES:
• fully human, i.e., an act of free will 1. Filial piety: includes the notion of taking care of
• total one’s parents, while showing love, respect,
• exclusive and faithful courtesy, and support. It includes the
• fecund importance of avoiding rebellion, disgrace, or
b. Serving Life loss of face of one’s family and ancestors.
- Transmission of Life 2. Obedience
CABALO2019
 3. Parental authority
4. Reverence for the elderly
HEALING THE WOUNDED TOWARD AN AUTHENTIC
FAMILY SPIRITUALITY
- To live fully its vocation and mission as a Domestic
Church, an authentic family spirituality is needed.
But sin, woundedness, brokenness is a reality that
we cannot ignore for it impedes families from
realizing their mission.
- As a consequence of sin, the entire human family
undergoes physical, psychological, mental and
spiritual difficulties. (Gen. 3)
The Need for Healing
- Is anyone among you sick? He should summon the
presbyters of the Church, and they should pray over
him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord,
and the prayer of faith will save the sick person, and
the Lord will raise him up. If he has committed any
sins, he will be forgiven.” (James 5:13-16)
Basic Concept of Spiritual Healing
- Consists essentially in the fulfillment of God’s plan,
which is to incorporate every human family in God’s
entire spiritual family.
Inner Healing
• Intellectual, volitional and affective wounds, which
correspond to the mind, will, heart and emotions.
• Healing of painful memories
Process of Healing the Wounds
• Prayer
• Sacraments
• Healing the Family Tree
Healing is conditioned by forgiveness for those who
cause the bondage (living or dead), unconditional love
for all family members, relatives, even friends and
impossible situations and at the same time a deeper
humility in acknowledging our own helplessness in
coping with the situation.
Love is the binding force in the family (Redemptoris
Hominis by Pope John Paul II)
Theories of Love
• In his classic book The Art of Loving, Erich Fromm
defines love as an active power that breaks through
CABALO2019
the walls that separate people from each other. In
love, we find the paradox of two beings becoming
one, yet remaining two.
Fromm
• Mature love includes attachment and sexual
response.
• It includes the Four Basic Elements necessary to
any intimate relationship: Care, Responsibility,
Respect and Knowledge
Lawrence Casler (1969)
• love develops, in part, because of our human needs
for acceptance and confirmation.
• We tend to attach ourselves to such person
because he or she offers us a validation, and such
validation is an important basis for love.
Four Wheels Model of love and Intimacy:
STAGE 1: The Rapport Stage
- The partners are struck by the feeling that they have
known each other before, that they are comfortable
with each other, and that they both want to deepen
the relationship.
STAGE 2: The Self-Revelation Stage
- The partners share more intimate thoughts and
feelings.
- Self-disclosure is associated with increased
commitment, mutual trust, and feelings of love.
- Women are more likely than men to reveal their
thoughts and feelings.
STAGE 3: The Sharing becomes more intimate
- A feeling of mutual dependence develops. Falling in
love provide a sense of very rapid expansion of the
boundaries of the self.
- There comes a feeling of loss when the partner is
absent.
STAGE 4: The Partners experience more intimacy
- a need for fulfillment as they deepen their
relationship
KINDS OF LOVE:
The ancient Greeks divided love into a number of
elements:
• ludus (game playing love)
• storge (friendship love),
• mania (possessive/dependent love).
- Ludus and Mania types of love tend to produce
negative consequences.
- Storge is based on repeated contacts, leading to a
high level of maturity; it most resembles the
attachment between parents and children.
For the Greeks, the three most important types of love
leading to more successful intimate relationships
1. Eros (carnal or physical love)
- is the physical, sexual side of love. It is needing,
desiring, and wanting the other person physically.
2. Agape (spiritual love)
- is the altruistic, giving, non-demanding side of love.
It is an active concern for the life and growth of
those whom we love
- is an unconditional affirmation of another person. It
is the desire to care for, help, and give to the loved
one.
It is unselfish love.
• No love is real without a unity of Eros and Agape.
Agape without Eros is obedience to moral law,
without warmth, without longing, without reunion.
Eros without agape is a chaotic desire, denying the
validity of the claim of the other one to be
acknowledged as an independent self, able to love
and be loved.
• Theologian Paul Tillich sees the highest form of
love as a merging of Eros and Agape.
3. Philos (brotherly or friendly love)
- is the love found in deep and enduring friendship. It
can be a deep friendship with specific people, or it
can be a love that embraces all
- is often non-exclusive, whereas Eros and Agape are
often exclusive
- element of love is most important to society’s
humanity. A caring person creates loving
relationships, and enough loving relationships make
a loving society.
Mature, Sensible & Rational Eros/Agape
- Genuine Love is the love that endures. It is love that
is tested over and over again as time goes by. It is
love that is able to overcome crises, difficulties,
disappointments and serious problems. For a
marriage to work, this is the love that is required.
Qualities of Mature Love:
• Mature Love is Altruistic
CABALO2019
- This means that lovers give affection, time and
energy to the beloved without considering what will
be received in return.
• Mature love is Freeing
- This means that one is allowed to be who he is, for
better and for worse, so that one can be a better
person.
• Mature Love is Honest
- This allows lovers to know each other very well, so
that it is love for the person that matters, and not
simply his or her image.
• Mature Love is Happy, Sad and Neutral
- It means that sometimes it is fun, at other times,
tender, or marred by hurt or anger. At times, the
emotional climate is neutral. But Mature Love is
mostly Happy.
• Mature Love is Empathetic
- It means feeling with another and not sympathy
which is feeling for poor you.
• Mature Love is Strengthening
- Both people are growing together.
Difference between love and infatuation:
Infatuation
• The term infatuation is used to negate past feelings
of love that have now changed. Falling out of love
means that the feeling for the other person was not
really love; it must have been something less. 

• The feelings of physical attraction, the physiological
arousal, the intense preoccupation with your partner
– all characteristics of infatuation and romantic love
– are also the precursor to real love. 

The most important prerequisite for true love may be
knowing and accepting ourselves, complete with faults
and virtues. If we cannot deal with our own
imperfections, how can we be tolerant for someone
else’s? (Erich Fromm)
Love of others and love of ourselves are not
alternatives. On the contrary, an attitude of love towards
themselves will be found in all those who are capable of
loving others. Love, in principle, is indivisible as far as the
connection between “objects” and one’s own self is
concerned. Genuine love is an expression of
productiveness and implies care, respect, responsibility
and knowledge.
(Erich Fromm 1956,59, 1970).
Christian Meaning of Love:
Love can be seen as the first and greatest
commandment: to love God above all. It is our task as
Christians to give love to the primary source of love.
Secondly, Jesus declared that we are to love our
neighbors and even our enemies as much as we love
ourselves.
Love is also a decision, and not just a feeling.
Fundamentally, love means, to think and will and do good
for another.
Four Basic Elements or Characteristics of Love:
a. Care
- Which is shown by the active concern for the life and
the growth of the one we love.
b. Responsibility
- Which means the ability to respond to his/her needs,
expressed or unexpressed.
c. Respect
- Which denotes the ability to see the person as he is;
to be aware of his unique individuality.
d. Knowledge
- Which is the active in-depth consciousness of
another person’s real image, leading to genuine
communion.
How do we learn to love?
- The faith which moves us to love, is to know that we are
loved. ~ St. Thomas Aquinas
How?
• To love and to be loved
• To care for other to establish right priority
– Ex. Timely reprimand a teenage son who stay out
late with “barkada” because of excessive partying,
– an affectionate gesture of disapproval to a
daughter who is overwhelmed by infatuation for a
wrong guy. 

– A loving hug for a tired or worried parents 

– Words of appreciation 

– Gratitude 

CABALO2019
– Respect
The primary components of intimacy are choice,
mutuality, reciprocity, trust and delight (Calderone
1982).
THREE DIMENSION OF INTIMACY:
A. Breadth
- describes the range of activities shared by two
people
- Do they spend a great deal of time together? 

- Do they share occupational activities, home
activities, leisure time, and so on?
B. Openness
- Implies that a pair share meaningful disclosure with
each other. They feel secure enough and close
enough to share intellectually, physically, and
emotionally. 

- They trust each other enough to be honest most of
the time, and this encourages further trust in each
other.
C. Depth
- Means that partners share really true, central, and
meaningful aspects of themselves. Self- disclosure
leads to deeper levels of interaction.
- In the ultimate sense, both individuals can transcend
their own egos and fuse in a spiritual way with their
partner. 

Four strongest barriers to intimacy
1. Fear of rejection
2. Non-acceptance of ourselves
3. spectator roles
4. unexpressed anger