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I’m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified
by their dental records. What I can’t understand is, if they don’t know who you are, how do they
know who your dentist is?
– Why did the student throw his watch out of the school window?
– He wanted to see time fly.
They say an Englishman laughs three times at a joke. The first time when everybody gets it, the
second a week later when he thinks he gets it, the third time a month later when somebody
explains it to him.
Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one. He’s never gonna
give you Up.
A nervous old lady on a bus was made even more nervous by the fact that the driver periodically
took his arm out of the window. When she couldn’t stand it any longer, she tapped him on the
shoulder and whispered on his ear: “Young man…you keep both hands on the wheel…I’ll tell you
when it’s raining!”.
Doctor: “I’m sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live”.
Patient: “What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!”
Doctor: “Nine”.
Un hombre fue a vender su perro. Un comprador le preguntó: "¿Es fiel este perro?" El hombre
respondió: "Sí, lo he vendido 3 veces, pero él vuelve a mí".
Siempre me sorprende oír hablar de víctimas de accidentes aéreos tan mutiladas que tienen que
ser identificadas por sus registros dentales. Lo que no puedo entender es que, si no saben quién es
usted, ¿cómo saben quién es su dentista?
- ¿Por qué el estudiante tiró su reloj por la ventana de la escuela?
- Quería ver volar el tiempo.
Dicen que un inglés se ríe tres veces de una broma. La primera vez cuando todos lo consiguen, la
segunda semana después, cuando cree que lo consigue, la tercera vez, un mes después, cuando
alguien se lo explica.
Rick Astley le permitirá tomar prestada cualquier película de su colección Pixar, excepto una. Él
nunca te va a rendir.
Una anciana nerviosa en un autobús se puso aún más nerviosa por el hecho de que el conductor
periódicamente sacaba su brazo por la ventana. Cuando ya no pudo soportarlo más, le dio un
golpecito en el hombro y le susurró al oído: "Joven ... mantén ambas manos en el volante ... ¡Te lo
diré cuando esté lloviendo!"
Doctor: "Lo siento, pero sufre de una enfermedad terminal y solo tiene 10 para vivir".
Paciente: "¿Qué quieres decir con 10? 10 ¿Qué? ¿Meses? ¿Semanas?"
Doctor: "Nueve".
I thought a thought.
But the thought I thought wasn’t the thought I thought I thought.
If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought,
I wouldn’t have thought so much.
Thirty-three thirsty,
thundering thoroughbreds thumped Mr. Thurber on Thursday.
If Pickford’s packers packed a packet of crisps would the packet of crisps that Pickford’s packers
packed survive for two and a half years?
How many cookies could a good cook cook If a good cook could cook cookies?
A good cook could cook as much cookies as a good cook who could cook cookies.
I thought a thought.
But the thought I thought was not the thought I thought I thought.
If the thought I thought I thought I had been the thought I thought,
I would not have thought so much.
Thirty-three thirsty,
thundering thoroughbreds thumped Mr. Thurber on Thursday.
If Pickford's packers packed a packet of crisps would the packet of crisps that Pickford's packers
packed survive for two and a half years?
How many cookies could a good cook cook If a good cook could cook cookies?
A good cook could cook as many cookies as a good cook who could cook cookies.
. What has a head and a tail, but no body? ¿Qué tiene cabeza y cola, pero no cuerpo?
2. Forward I am heavy, but backward I am not. What am I? Hacia adelante soy pesado, pero hacia
atrás no.
3. What can you catch but not throw? ¿Qué puedes coger pero no lanzar?
4. The eight of us go forth not back to protect our king from a foes attack. Nosotros ocho vamos
hacia adelante pero no hacia atrás, para proteger a nuestro rey del ataque de losenemigos.
5. What occurs once in every minute, twice in every moment and never in a thousand years? ¿Qué
ocurre una vez en cada minuto, dos veces en cada momento, pero nunca en mil años?
6. Alive without breath, as cold as death; never thirsty, ever drinking, all in mail never
clinking. Vivos sin aire, fríos como la muerte, nunca sedientos, siempre bebiendo, todos en una red
nunca tintineando.
7. What kind of tree can you carry in your hand? ¿Qué tipo de árbol puedes llevar en la mano?
8. Voiceless it cries, wingless flutters, toothless bites, mouthless mutters. Sin voz grita, sin alas se
bate, sin dientes muerde y sin boca murmulla.
9. What kind of coat is always wet when you put it on? ¿Qué tipo de capa siempre está húmeda
cuando te la pones?
10. What jumps when it walks and sits when it stands? ¿Qué salta cuando anda y se sienta para
estar de pie?
Canciones para aprender inglés con niños A hunting we will go, a hunting we will go
I like to eat, eat, eat apples and bananas Heigh ho, the dairy-o, a hunting we will go
I like to eat, eat, eat apples and bananas A hunting we will go, a hunting we will go
We´ll catch a fish and put him on a dish
I like to ate, ate, ate ay-ples and ba-nay-nays And then we´ll let him go
I like to ate, ate, ate ay-ples and ba-nay-nays
A hunting we will go, a hunting we will go
I like to eat, eat, eat ee-ples and bee-nee- Heigh ho, the dairy-o, a hunting we will go
nees A hunting we will go, a hunting we will go
I like to eat, eat, eat ee-ples and bee-nee- We´ll catch a bear and cut his hair
nees And then we´ll let him go
I like to ite, ite, ite i-ples and by-ny-nys A hunting we will go, a hunting we will go
I like to ite, ite, ite i-ples and by-ny-nys Heigh ho, the dairy-o, a hunting we will go
A hunting we will go, a hunting we will go
I like to ote, ote, ote oh-ples and bo-no-nos We´ll catch a pig and dance a little jig
I like to ote, ote, ote oh-ples and bo-no-nos And then we´ll let him go
I like to oot, oot, oot oo-ples and boo-noo- A hunting we will go, a hunting we will go
noos Heigh ho, the dairy-o, a hunting we will go
I like to oot, oot, oot oo-ples and boo-noo- A hunting we will go, a hunting we will go
noos We´ll catch a giraffe and make him laugh
And then we´ll let him go
Canción del alfabeto en inglés para niños
A-B-C-D-E-F-G Canción de los cinco patitos en inglés
H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P Five little ducks
Q - R - S - T - U and V, Went out one day
W - X - Y and Z Over the hill and far away
Now I know my A - B - C´s Mother duck said
Next time won´t you sing with me? "Quack, quack, quack, quack."
But only four little ducks came back.
Canción de la tetera para niños en inglés
I'’ m a little teapot Four little ducks
Short and stout Went out one day
Here is my handle Over the hill and far away
Here is my spout. Mother duck said
"Quack, quack, quack, quack."
When I get all steamed up, But only three little ducks came back.
Then I shout,
Just tip me over and pour me out! Three little ducks
Went out one day
Canción en inglés para niños Over the hill and far away
A hunting we will go, a hunting we will go Mother duck said
Heigh ho, the dairy-o, a hunting we will go "Quack, quack, quack, quack."
But only two little ducks came back. Canciones de animales en inglés para niños
Baa, baa, black sheep,
Two little ducks Have you any wool?
Went out one day Yes sir, yes sir,
Over the hill and far away Three bags full.
Mother duck said
"Quack, quack, quack, quack." One for the master,
But only one little duck came back. One for the dame,
And one for the little boy
One little duck Who lives down the lane.
Went out one day
Over the hill and far away Baa, baa, black sheep,
Mother duck said Have you any wool?
"Quack, quack, quack, quack." Yes sir, yes sir,
But none of the five little ducks came back. Three bags full.