Module:1

Conflict: It occurs when both the parties cannot agree upon the same way.

Type of Conflict:

Pseudo Conflict: Due to Lack of Understanding

Simple Conflict: Due to difference in Views, Ideas, Thought, Perception Etc.

Ego Conflict: Due to Personal difference

Myth about Conflict:

1. Conflict can be always be avoided

2. Conflict always occurs because of misunderstanding

3. Conflictis a sign of poor relationship

4. Conflict is always bad

About the Eight Causes

According to psychologists Art Bell and Brett Hart, there are eight common causes of conflict in
the workplace. Bell and Hart identified these common causes in separate articles on workplace
conflict in 2000 and 2002.
The eight causes are:
1. Conflicting resources.
2. Conflicting styles.
3. Conflicting perceptions.
4. Conflicting goals.
5. Conflicting pressures.
6. Conflicting roles.
7. Different personal values.
8. Unpredictable policies.
You can use this classification to identify possible causes of conflict. Once you've identified
these, you can take steps to prevent conflict happening in the first place, or you can tailor
your conflict resolution strategy to fit the situation.

How to Use the Tool

Let's take a closer look at each of the eight causes of workplace conflict, and discuss what you
can do to avoid and resolve each type.
1. Conflicting Resources
We all need access to certain resources – whether these are office supplies, help from colleagues,
or even a meeting room – to do our jobs well. When more than one person or group needs access
to a particular resource, conflict can occur.
If you or your people are in conflict over resources, use techniques such as Win-Win
Negotiation or the Influence Model to reach a shared agreement.
You can also help team members overcome this cause of conflict by making sure that they have
everything they need to do their jobs well. Teach them how to prioritize their time and
resources, as well as how to negotiate with one another to prevent this type of conflict.
If people start battling for a resource, sit both parties down to discuss openly why their needs are
at odds. An open discussion about the problem can help each party see the other's perspective
and become more empathic about their needs.

2. Conflicting Styles
Everyone works differently, according to his or her individual needs and personality. For
instance, some people love the thrill of getting things done at the last minute, while others need
the structure of strict deadlines to perform. However, when working styles clash, conflict can
often occur.
To prevent and manage this type of conflict in your team, consider people's working styles and
natural group roles when you build your team.
You can also encourage people to take a personality test, such as the Myers-Briggs Personality
Test . This can help them become more accepting of other people's styles of working, and be
more flexible as a result.

3. Conflicting Perceptions
All of us see the world through our own lens, and differences in perceptions of events can cause
conflict, particularly where one person knows something that the other person doesn't know, but
doesn't realize this.
If your team members regularly engage in "turf wars" or gossip, you might have a problem with
conflicting perceptions. Additionally, negative performance reviews or customer complaints can
also result from this type of conflict.
Make an effort to eliminate this conflict by communicating openly with your team, even when
you have to share bad news. The more information you share with your people, the less likely it
is that they will come up with their own interpretations of events.
Different perceptions are also a common cause of office politics. For instance, if you assign a
project to one person that normally would be someone else's responsibility, you may unwittingly
ignite a power struggle between the two. Learn how to navigate office politics , and coach your
team to do the same.
4. Conflicting Goals
Sometimes we have conflicting goals in our work. For instance, one of our managers might tell
us that speed is most important goal with customers. Another manager might say that in-depth,
high-quality service is the top priority. It's sometimes quite difficult to reconcile the two!
Whenever you set goals for your team members, make sure that those goals don't conflict with
other goals set for that person, or set for other people.
And if your own goals are unclear or conflicting, speak with your boss and negotiate goals that
work for everyone.

5. Conflicting Pressures
We often have to depend on our colleagues to get our work done. However, what happens when
you need a report from your colleague by noon, and he's already preparing a different report for
someone else by that same deadline?
Conflicting pressures are similar to conflicting goals; the only difference is that conflicting
pressures usually involve urgent tasks, while conflicting goals typically involve projects with
longer timelines.
If you suspect that people are experiencing conflict because of clashing short-term objectives,
reschedule tasks and deadlines to relieve the pressure.

6. Conflicting Roles
Sometimes we have to perform a task that's outside our normal role or responsibilities. If this
causes us to step into someone else's "territory," then conflict and power struggles can occur. The
same can happen in reverse – sometimes we may feel that a particular task should be completed
by someone else.
Conflicting roles are similar to conflicting perceptions. After all, one team member may view a
task as his or her responsibility or territory. But when someone else comes in to take over that
task, conflict occurs.
If you suspect that team members are experiencing conflict over their roles, explain why you've
assigned tasks or projects to each person. Your explanation could go a long way toward
remedying the pressure.
You can also use a Team Charter to crystallize people's roles and responsibilities, and to focus
people on objectives.

7. Different Personal Values

Imagine that your boss has just asked you to perform a task that conflicts with your ethical
standards. Do you do as your boss asks, or do you refuse? If you refuse, will you lose your boss's
trust, or even your job?
When our work conflicts with our personal values like this, conflict can quickly arise.
To avoid this in your team, practice ethical leadership : try not to ask your team to do anything
that clashes with their values, or with yours.
There may be times when you're asked to do things that clash with your personal ethics. Our
article on preserving your integrity will help you to make the right choices.

8. Unpredictable Policies
When rules and policies change at work and you don't communicate that change clearly to your
team, confusion and conflict can occur.
In addition, if you fail to apply workplace policies consistently with members of your team, the
disparity in treatment can also become a source of dissension.
When rules and policies change, make sure that you communicate exactly what will be done
differently and, more importantly, why the policy is changing. When people understand why the
rules are there , they're far more likely to accept the change.
Once the rules are in place, strive to enforce them fairly and consistently.

Managing Conflict:

Identifying Your Emotions

By not knowing what you are feeling, your emotions may feel very unpredictable and out-of-
control. As a result, you might find it difficult to effectively manage your emotions. When this
happens, people often tend to rely on more unhealthy ways of managing emotions, such as
avoidance and self-medication through the use of drugs and alcohol. Knowing what you are
feeling, on the other hand, helps you figure out how to make yourself feel better. Not every
healthy coping strategy works the same for every emotional experience. So, how do you identify
what you are feeling? Check out this article to learn more about what an emotion is and how to
increase your emotional awareness.

Increasing Your Positive Emotions

Oftentimes, PTSD can people feel as though they are not living a meaningful life. It can interfere
with doing the things that you want to do, making you feel down and depressed. However, one
way to manage these uncomfortable and distressing emotional experiences is by increasing the
extent with which you come in contact with positive and pleasurable experiences. There are a
number of ways you can get more active in your life. One way is by scheduling positive
activities into your day.

Self-Soothing Coping Strategies

Uncomfortable and stressful emotions can sometimes occur unexpectedly. Therefore, it is
important to learn emotion regulation strategies that you can do on your own. Emotion regulation
strategies that you can do on your own are sometimes described as self-soothing or self-care
coping strategies. Effective self-soothing coping strategies may be those that involve one or more
of the five senses (touch, taste, smell, sight, and sound). Learn some examples of self-soothing
strategies for each sense.

Managing Your Anger

People with PTSD can experience high levels of anger and irritability. In fact, irritability is even
considered to be one of the symptoms of PTSD. Anger can be a very difficult emotion to cope
with. Fortunately, there are some healthy ways of regulating anger when it occurs. This article
describes one such strategy, taking a personal time out to give your anger some time to subside.

Using Writing to Express Your Emotions

Given that people with PTSD often experience strong, uncomfortable emotional experiences, it is
not surprising that people with PTSD may want to try and suppress or "push down" their
emotions. While emotional avoidance may be effective in the short-run and may provide you
with some temporary relief, in the long run, the emotions you're trying to avoid may actually
grow stronger and become more difficult to manage. Therefore, it is very important to learn
healthy ways of expressing your emotions. One such way is through expressive writing. Writing
about your feelings can also give you a safe and private way to release your deepest feelings.

Monitoring Your Emotions

A number of emotion regulation strategies may help you manage your emotions, but how do you
know if those strategies are actually working? Not every strategy is going to be effective in every
situation. One way to determine whether or not an emotion regulation strategy is working for you
is to monitor your emotions. Follow the steps in this article to create your own emotion
monitoring form.

Manage Anxiety Through Deep Breathing

Deep breathing can be an important emotion regulation strategy to learn. It may sound silly, but
many people do not breathe properly. Natural breathing involves your diaphragm, a large muscle
in your abdomen. When you breathe in, your belly should expand. When you breathe out, your
belly should fall. Overtime, people forget how to breathe this way and instead use their chest and
shoulders. This causes short and shallow breaths, which can increase stress and anxiety.
Fortunately, it is not too late to "re-learn" how to breathe and help protect yourself from stress
and anxiety. Practice this simple exercise to improve your breathing.

Reduce Stress and Anxiety with Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Using relaxation exercises can be a very effective way of reducing your stress and anxiety. One
relaxation exercise called progressive muscle relaxation focuses on a person alternating between
tensing and relaxing different muscle groups throughout the body. This article takes your through
an easy progressive muscle relaxation exercise so you can start better managing your anxiety and
stress right away.

Seeking Out Social Support

Over and over again, it has been found that finding support from others can be a major factor in
helping people overcome the negative effects of a traumatic event and PTSD. Talking with others
can be an incredibly beneficial emotion regulation strategy. It can provide you with the
opportunity to express your emotions, as well as have your emotional experience validated.
However, in finding and establishing good social support, it is important to remember that there
are several central pieces to a strong supportive relationship.

Module : 2

Interpersonal communication is the universal form of communication that takes place between
two individuals. Since it is person-to-person contact, it includes everyday exchange that may be
formal or informal and can take place anywhere by means of words, sounds, facial expression,
gestures and postures.

In interpersonal communication there is face-to-face interaction between two persons, that is,
both are sending and receiving messages. This is an ideal and effective communication situation
because you can get immediate feedback. You can clarify and emphasize many points through
your expressions, gestures and voices. In interpersonal communication, therefore, it is possible to
influence the other person and persuade him or her to accept your point of view. Since there is
proximity between sender and receiver, interpersonal communication has emotional appeal too.
It can motivate, encourage, and coordinate work more effectively then any other form of
communication. Also, in a crisis, through interpersonal channel, flow of information is
tremendous e.g. news of violence, famine or disaster.

Interpersonal messages consist of meanings derived from personal observations and experiences.
The process of translating thoughts into verbal and nonverbal messages increases the
communicator’s self-concept. In fact, effective interpersonal communication helps both
participants strengthen relationships through the sharing of meaning and emotions.

Functions of Interpersonal communication

We use interpersonal communication for a variety of reasons. For example, interpersonal

communication helps us understand our world better. It helps us understand a situation in a better
way. We also use interpersonal communication to think and evaluate more effectively. Often it is
used to change behavior also. The three specific functions are:

1. Linking function
2. Mentation function and
 3. Regulatory function.

The linking function connects a person with his or her environment. The mentation function
helps us conceptualize, remember, and plan. It is a mental or intellectual function. The regulatory
function serves to regulate our own and other’s behavior.

Through interpersonal communication we are nurtured as infants, physically, emotionally and

intellectually. Again through interpersonal communication we develop cultural, social and
psychological links with the world. In fact, interpersonal communication is the very basis of our
survival and growth as it helps us to function more practically.

7 STEPS TO EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION

1. Start with self awareness – Do you know how well you communicate right now? What
works and what doesn’t? If you don’t know, gather feedback so you can know your
strengths and weaknesses. Use the rest of this list to help with your self-assessment.
2. Always keep the other person in mind- For any instance of interpersonal communication,
plan out your approach ahead of time. Start with the other person in mind — Try your best
to put yourself in their shoes and figure out what might be their mindset, sensitivities, and
how they may receive your words.Effective interpersonal communication can only
happen if you understand where the other person may stand.
3. Determine your desired “win-win” outcome: The outcome of any conversation must be a
“win-win,” as not all outcomes you desire are good for the relationship. For example, you
may want to prove that you are right, but that would mean the other person needs to be
proven wrong. You may win the argument, but lose the relationship. That’s not a good
outcome.
4. Gather the facts: While facts can’t be the only focus of your conversation, you need the
facts to keep the discussion as unbiased as possible. It’s hard to resolve anything if all you
have is “he said she said.”
5. Practice a calm approach/tone: This will require the most time, especially if you are
emotional about the situation. You need to calm down first, and then communicate with an
open tone. This requires time, since our instinctive reaction is to take a defensive or
offensive tone. An open tone can be one that gives the benefit of the doubt, or focuses on
“we” instead of “you vs. me.” Your openness and calmness will invite the other people to
listen, and your tone will show that you are there to build the relationship.
6. Listen as much as you speak: Effective interpersonal communication is a two way street.
You should spend 50% of the conversation listening. We are sometimes prepared so much
that all we focus on is talking. You can lose the listener quickly that way. Pause after a few
sentences so the other party can respond. That way you can adapt your communication
 based on how they react. Sometimes it takes fewer words than you think to achieve the
“win-win” outcome.
7. Don’t expect anything: We cannot control or change anyone else. This is an easy concept
that is easy to forget. After all this work we put into structuring an interpersonal
communication, there is no guarantee about how the other person will react. Everyone is
responsible for their own actions. All you can do is play your part the best you can, accept
whatever you get, and adapt your actions from there.

Nonverbal communication (NVC) is usually understood as the process of communication

through sending and receiving wordless messages. i.e., language is not the only source of
communication, there are other means also. NVC can be communicated through gestures and
touch (Haptic communication), by body language or posture, by facial expression and eye
contact. NVC can be communicated through object communication such as clothing, hairstyles
or even architecture, symbols and info graphics. Speech contains nonverbal elements known as
paralanguage, including voice quality, emotion and speaking style, as well as prosodic features
such as rhythm, intonation and stress. Dance is also regarded as a nonverbal communication.
Likewise, written texts have nonverbal elements such as handwriting style, spatial arrangement
of words, or the use of emoticons.

However, much of the study of nonverbal communication has focused on face-to-face

interaction, where it can be classified into three principal areas: environmental conditions where
communication takes place, the physical characteristics of the communicators, and behaviors of
communicators during interaction.
Types of Behavioural Communication

Distance.

Distance. The distance one stands from another frequently conveys a non-verbal message. In
some cultures it is a sign of attraction, while in others it may reflect status or the intensity of the
exchange.

Orientation. People may present themselves in various ways: face-to-face, side-to-side, or even
back-to-back. For example, cooperating people are likely to sit side-by-side while competitors
frequently face one another.

Posture. Obviously one can be lying down, seated, or standing. These are not the elements of
posture that convey messages. Are we slouched or erect ? Are our legs crossed or our arms
folded ? Such postures convey a degree of formality and the degree of relaxation in the
communication exchange.

Physical Contact. Shaking hands, touching, holding, embracing, pushing, or patting on the back
all convey messages. They reflect an element of intimacy or a feeling of (or lack of) attraction.
Dynamic Features

Facial Expressions.

Facial Expressions. A smile, frown, raised eyebrow, yawn, and sneer all convey information.
Facial expressions continually change during interaction and are monitored constantly by the
recipient. There is evidence that the meaning of these expressions may be similar across cultures.

Gestures. One of the most frequently observed, but least understood, cues is a hand movement.
Most people use hand movements regularly when talking. While some gestures (e.g., a clenched
fist) have universal meanings, most of the others are individually learned and idiosyncratic.

Looking. A major feature of social communication is eye contact. It can convey emotion, signal
when to talk or finish, or aversion. The frequency of contact may suggest either interest or
boredom.

The above list shows that both static features and dynamic features transmit important
information from the sender to the receiver.

Eye Contact

Eye contact is a direct and powerful form of non-verbal communication. The superior in the
organization generally maintains eye contact longer than the subordinate. The direct stare of the
sender of the message conveys candor and openness. It elicits a feeling of trust. Downward
glances are generally associated with modesty. Eyes rolled upward are associated with fatigue.

Personal Space

Personal space is your "bubble" - the space you place between yourself and others. This invisible
boundary becomes apparent only when someone bumps or tries to enter your bubble.

How you identify your personal space and use the environment in which you find yourself
influences your ability to send or receive messages. How close do you stand to the one with
whom you are communicating ? Where do you sit in the room ? How do you position yourself
with respect to others at a meeting ? All of these things affect your level of comfort, and the level
of comfort of those receiving your message.

Module: 3

What is the definition of a True Relationship?

If you break down the word Re-la-tion-ship: Taking a journey on a ship with your partner and
learning how to relate to one another. It is a journey to relate or learn from each other and from
everything around you. You are taking this life journey together, creating magic moments and
working through the hard or tough times, and most importantly growing stronger together. It is
like you are consciousnesses merging to become one - not just getting along
Definition: A relationship is a bond between two individual or more.

Stages of Relationship:

There two key role in the life span of relationship. The actual task of the role holders is dynamics
and changes at different stages of the relationship.

The Good Time: The role of the individual here is fairly straightforward – provide a loving,
Attentive environment for one another where trust and communication are vital factors.

The Bad Time: In this stage trust and communication breakdown. Now the role of the
middleperson change dramatically, their role is now to provide the “glue” in the relationship.

The End Time: This is the end stage of relationship, if the Middleperson succeed to maintain
relationship then both individual move back to the first stage otherwise relationship break.

Ten Tips For Healthy Relationships

Healthy relationships bring happiness and health to our lives. Studies show that people with
healthy relationships really do have more happiness and less stress. There are basic ways to
make relationships healthy, even though each one is different…parents, siblings, friends,
boyfriends, girlfriends, professors, roommates, and classmates. Here are Ten Tips for Healthy
Relationships!

1. Keep expectations realistic. No one can be everything we might want him or her to be.
Sometimes people disappoint us. It’s not all-or-nothing, though. Healthy relationships mean
accepting people as they are and not trying to change them!

2. Talk with each other. It can’t be said enough: communication is essential in healthy
relationships! It means—

 Take the time. Really be there.

 Genuinely listen. Don’t plan what to say next while you’re trying to listen. Don’t
interrupt.
 Listen with your ears and your heart. Sometimes people have emotional messages to
share and weave it into their words.
 Ask questions. Ask if you think you may have missed the point. Ask friendly (and
appropriate!) questions. Ask for opinions. Show your interest. Open the communication
door.
 Share information. Studies show that sharing information especially helps relationships
begin. Be generous in sharing yourself, but don’t overwhelm others with too much too
soon.
3. Be flexible. Most of us try to keep people and situations just the way we like them to be. It’s
natural to feel apprehensive, even sad or angry, when people or things change and we’re not
ready for it. Healthy relationships mean change and growth are allowed!

4. Take care of you. You probably hope those around you like you so you may try to please
them. Don’t forget to please yourself. Healthy relationships are mutual!

5. Be dependable. If you make plans with someone, follow through. If you have an assignment
deadline, meet it. If you take on a responsibility, complete it. Healthy relationships are
trustworthy!

6. Fight fair. Most relationships have some conflict. It only means you disagree about
something, it doesn’t have to mean you don’t like each other! When you have a problem:

 Negotiate a time to talk about it. Don’t have difficult conversations when you are very
angry or tired. Ask, "When is a good time to talk about something that is bothering me?"
Healthy relationships are based on respect and have room for both.
 Don’t criticize. Attack the problem, not the other person. Open sensitive conversations
with "I" statements; talk about how you struggle with the problem. Don’t open with
"you" statements; avoid blaming the other person for your thoughts and feelings. Healthy
relationships don’t blame.
 Don’t assign feelings or motives. Let others speak for themselves. Healthy relationships
recognize each person’s right to explain themselves.
 Stay with the topic. Don’t use a current concern as a reason to jump into everything that
bothers you. Healthy relationships don’t use ammunition from the past to fuel the present.
 Say, "I’m sorry" when you’re wrong. It goes a long way in making things right again.
Healthy relationships can admit mistakes.
 Don’t assume things. When we feel close to someone it’s easy to think we know how he
or she thinks and feels. We can be very wrong! Healthy relationships check things out.
 Ask for help if you need it. Talk with someone who can help you find resolution—like
your RA, a counselor, a teacher, a minister or even parents. Check campus resources like
Counseling Services at 532-6927. Healthy relationships aren’t afraid to ask for help.
 There may not be a resolved ending. Be prepared to compromise or to disagree about
some things. Healthy relationships don’t demand conformity or perfect agreement.
 Don’t hold grudges. You don’t have to accept anything and everything, but don’t hold
grudges—they just drain your energy. Studies show that the more we see the best in
others, the better healthy relationships get. Healthy relationships don’t hold on to past
hurts and misunderstandings.
 The goal is for everyone to be a winner. Relationships with winners and losers don’t
last. Healthy relationships are between winners who seek answers to problems together.
  You can leave a relationship. You can choose to move out of a relationship. Studies tell
us that loyalty is very important in good relationships, but healthy relationships are NOW,
not some hoped-for future development.

7. Show your warmth. Studies tell us warmth is highly valued by most people in their
relationships. Healthy relationships show emotional warmth!

8. Keep your life balanced. Other people help make our lives satisfying but they can’t create
that satisfaction for us. Only you can fill your life. Don’t overload on activities, but do use your
time at college to try new things—clubs, volunteering, lectures, projects. You’ll have more
opportunities to meet people and more to share with them. Healthy relationships aren’t
dependent!

9. It’s a process. Sometimes it looks like everyone else on campus is confident and connected.
Actually, most people feel just like you feel, wondering how to fit in and have good
relationships. It takes time to meet people and get to know them…so, make "small talk"…
respond to others…smile…keep trying. Healthy relationships can be learned and practiced and
keep getting better!

10. Be yourself! It’s much easier and much more fun to be you than to pretend to be something
or someone else. Sooner or later, it catches up anyway. Healthy relationships are made of real
people, not images!

Maintaining Healthy Relationship:

1. People are Realistic and Flexible

2. Sharing and talking

3. Care

4. Use fair fighting techniques

Some other steps:

1. Speak a little less, listen a little more

Most people get tremendous pleasure from speaking about themselves. But, here we have to be
careful; if we always speak about our achievements or tribulations, people will get fed up with
our egoism.

If we are willing and able to listen to others, we will find it much appreciated by our friends.
Some people are not aware of how much they dominate the conversation. If you find you are
always talking about yourself, consider the advice of the Greek philosopher, Epictectus:

“Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak.”
2. Which is more important being right or maintaining harmony?

A lot of problems in relationships occur because we want to maintain our personal pride. Don’t
insist on always having the last word. Healthy relationships are not built through winning
meaningless arguments. Be willing to back down; most arguments are not of critical importance
anyway.

3. Avoid Gossip

If we value someone’s friendship we will not take pleasure in commenting on their frequent
failings. They will eventually hear about it. But, whether we get found out or not, we weaken our
relationships when we dwell on negative qualities. Avoid gossiping about anybody;
subconsciously we don’t trust people who have a reputation for gossip.

4. Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not just a cliché; it’s a powerful and important factor in maintaining healthy
relationships. However, real forgiveness also means that we are willing to forget the experience.
If we forgive one day, but then a few weeks later bring up the old misdeed, this is not real
forgiveness. When we make mistakes, just consider how much we would appreciate others
forgiving and forgetting.

5. Know When to Keep Silent

If you think a friend has a bad or unworkable idea, don’t always argue against it; just keep silent
and let them work things out for themselves. It’s a mistake to always feel responsible for their
actions. You can offer support to friends, but you can’t live their life for them.

6. Right Motive

If you view friendship from the perspective of “what can I get from this?” you are making a big
mistake. This kind of relationship proves very tentative. If you make friendships with the hope of
some benefit, you will find that people will have a similar attitude to you. This kind of friendship
leads to insecurity and jealousy. Furthermore, these fair weather friends will most likely
disappear just when you need them most. Don’t look upon friends with the perspective “what can
I get out of this?”. True friendship should be based on mutual support and good will, irrespective
of any personal gain.

7. Oneness.

The real secret of healthy relationships is developing a feeling of oneness. This means that you
will consider the impact on others of your words and actions. If you have a true feeling of
oneness, you will find it difficult to do anything that causes suffering to your friends. When there
is a feeling of oneness, your relationships will be free of jealousy and insecurity.
For example, it is a feeling of oneness which enables you to share in the success of your friends.
This is much better than harboring feelings of jealousy. To develop oneness we have to let go of
feelings of superiority and inferiority; good relationships should not be based on a judgmental
approach. In essence, successful friendship depends on the golden rule: “do unto others as you
would have done to yourself.” This is the basis of healthy relationships.

8. Humour

Don’t take yourself too seriously. Be willing to laugh at yourself and be self-deprecating. This
does not mean we have to humiliate ourselves, far from it — it just means we let go of our ego.
Humour is often the best antidote for relieving tense situations.

Communication Style:

1. Assertive Communication: The most effective and healthiest form of

communication is the assertive style. It is how we naturally express ourselves. We
communicate clearly and forthrightly. We care about the relationship and strive for a
win – win situation.
2. Aggressive Communication: Aggressive Communication always involves
manipulation. Although there are a few arenas where Aggressive behaviour is called
for (i.e., sports or war), it will never work in a relationship.
3. Passive Communication: in this mode we don’t talk much, question even less and
actually do very little. Passive have learned that it is safer no to react and better to
disappear than to stand up and be noticed.

4. PASSIVE COMMUNICATION is a style in which individuals have developed a

pattern of avoiding expressing their opinions or feelings, protecting their rights, and
identifying and meeting their needs. Passive communication is usually born of low
self-esteem. These individuals believe: “I’m not worth taking care of.”

5. Types of Interpersonal relationship:

1. Family
2. Friends
3. Co-worker
4. Enemy
5. Teacher
6. Counselor
7. Mentor
8. Advisor etc.
Categories of Personal Relationship:

1. Kinship Relationship: Which we got through genetically and marriage like- Father,
Mother, Father in Law, and Mother in Law etc.
2. Formalized relationship: for example Boss, co-worker, doctor, counselor etc.
3. Non-formalized relationship: friends, family member, boy friend, girl friend etc.

Module: 5

Stress can be defined as actions and circumstances to which you cannot respond adequately or to
which you respond at the cost of excessive wear and tear on the body.

Stress is an emotional and physical reaction to change.

Stress is defined as “The adverse reaction people have to excessive pressure or other types of
demand placed on them”

Stress can act as a creative force that increases drive and energy, but once it reaches a certain
degree, the results can be negative.

Stress is normally experienced as fatigue, anxiety and depression. It is sometimes exhibited when
people become hostile and aggressive. These are all signs or symptoms of stress and the causes
or ‘stressors’ need to be identified in the workplace and eliminated or controlled.

Nature

Due to inappropriate usage, the word stress has assumed bad connotations. In its original sense a
stress is neither good nor bad. It becomes good or bad, desirable or undesirable, healthy or
unhealthy depending upon what it does to us. For example, the demands of an examination could
make one child work hard and pass creditably. In the case of another child the very same
examination could appear very demanding and he might end up in a break down, as his resources
are poor. Thus by itself a stressor or a stress is neither good nor bad. They are neutral in nature.

Types :

Distress

When a stressor becomes too demanding or when we do not have adequate resources to meet the
demands, we get ‘stressed up’. The stressed up experience is called a ‘Distress’. Distress is bad
and unhealthy. Prolonged distress initiates a number of reactions at the level of the body and
mind. As it depletes our resources we become impoverished and susceptible to diseases and
disorders. The child who has poor resources to write an examination falls ill. The executive who
went on worrying depleted his resources and developed hypertension. The housewife spent a
sizable portion of her resources to suppress her constant anger and ended up with bronchial
asthma. Thus any stress that becomes distressing is unhealthy.

Eustress

When a stressor puts demand on our resources and we experience stress that need not always
lead to distress. If the stressor is within limits and we have enough resources we will be able to
cope up with the stress. When a stress makes us cope up with it, there is a feeling of satisfaction
and joy. Stresses that make us cope up with them culminate in better integration of our
personality. Such stresses are called ‘Eustress’ or useful stress. The child, who prepared well for
the examination, wrote it effectively and came out successfully experiences better self worth and
increased self-esteem. The examination though a stress had indeed beneficial effects on him.
Such beneficial stresses are required for our motivation and growth. No wonder it is then called a
useful stress.

Body Reactions to Stress

When a person is subjected to stress, the body automatically prepares itself to respond – increase
in blood pressure, increase in stomach acids, increase in sweating, dilation of the pupils, etc. If
the stress passes, the body will return to normal. If the stress continues, the body will maintain its
preparedness to respond. If this continues too long, it will be harmful and the body will become
exhausted and collapse may occur.

Stages and Models of Stress :

There are three stages a person goes through while suffering from stress.

Alarm Stage: Look at a student's face just before he is going to give an exam. Isn't the fear and
tension clearly evident? When something has just started stressing you and you feel a fight or
flight kind of attitude, then you are in the alarm stage of stress. It is the start up stage which
defines the first reaction to the stressor.

Resistance Stage: When a child is sitting in the examination hall and writing his exam, he is
bothered about completing it in time. He is making full efforts to cope with the situation and his
whole body is engaged in fighting against the condition. This is the resistance stage. In this stage,
the body keeps making continuous efforts to cope with stress and therefore feels run down and
exhausted. The person starts feeling irritated, over reacts to minor situations and gets mentally
and physically weak. Psychological, physical and behavioral changes are also clearly visible.

Exhaustion
 4. Stage: If a student is preparing for his exam and despite of every possible effort, he is not
able to relate to his studies, he is bound to get stressed. The stress could reach a height
where he/she may feel completely exhausted and helpless to the extent of committing
suicide. This is the exhaustion stage. This stage is further divided into two phases:

Causes and symptoms of stress

Causes of stress vary from person to person. Some common causes of stress can be a death of a
family member, illness, taking care of your family, relationship changes, work, job change,
moving and money. Even small things such as long waits or delays or traffic can cause stress.

Personal

Some of the leading personal causes of stress are:

 Finances; who name finances as the leading cause of stress cite major purchases they
have to make, such as a home or car. Others are stressed by a loss of income, or mounting
credit card debt. For some, financial stress will eventuate in bankruptcy. While college
students stress over paying for an education, Baby Boomers and older senior ci tizens
find that retirement income can be a major cause of stress.
 Personal Health and Safety; For some, the stress is linked to obesity, and a desire to
lose weight. For others, the stress is a personal bas habit that affects health and must be
changed. For example, smoking, abuse of alcohol or other drugs. Illness or injury,
whether less or more serious, can be a leading cause of stress for many people. Personal
safety is also a leading cause of stress. Women, more than men, tend to stress about their
own and others’ safety. Adults tend to stress more than young people, who may act
invincible.
 Personal Relationships; Whether it is a friendship, dating, separation, marriage, divorce,
or re-marriage, a relationship can be a leading cause of stress for many. We all want love,
and that is potentially available in relationships, but getting from A to B can be very
stressful. Some resort to online relationships that are easier to handle. Others withdraw
and become recluses. Either way, the demands on time, finances, and emotions can cause
ongoing stress.
 Death; Probably the most wrenching cause of stress is the death of a loved one or close
friend. Even the death of a pet can be stressful.
Organizational

There are 6 risk factors these are:

■ Demands – such as workload, work patterns and the work environment.

■ Control – such as how much say the person has in the way they do their work.

■ Support – such as the encouragement, sponsorship and resources provided by the

organisation, line management and colleagues.
■ Relationships – such as promoting positive working to avoid conflict and dealing with
unacceptable behaviour.

■ Role – such as whether people understand their role within the organisation and whether the
organisation ensures that they do not have conflicting roles.

■ Change – such as how organisational change (large or small) is managed and communicated
in the organisation. (HSE 2005)

All of the above risk factors appear often highly recognizable within the companies.

Employee Risk Factors: Stress can pose a significant risk to the individual in both mental and
physical health. Mental health risks include depression, anxiety and post traumatic stress
disorders. Physical risk factors include damage to immune and cardiovascular systems. Stress
can also increase the risk of other more serious ill health issues such as Heart Disease. As
identified within the Management Standards high demands within the job such as the working
environment and workload are known to be some of the highest risk factors which have proven
to result in stress within any individual.

Employer Risk Factors: Risk factors for employers can be divided into four main categories
these being: Cost, Negative Public Relations, Legal Obligation/Criminal Prosecution and Civil
Action by employees. The risk factors above are often found within the organisations we have
carried out Stress Surveys for. Although employers do have demanding roles we often find that
the most noted form of stress within organizations is found because they have the inability to
make significant changes as ideas are often unsupported and change within the organisation is
met with great resilience.

Environmental

Physical

 Noise
 Hot environment
 Cold environment
 Poor lighting/too much lighting
 Organizational Risk factors
 Faulty equipment
 Poorly designed and/or maintained equipment
 Dangerous equipment
 Heavy weights

Importance of stress management

It may seem that there’s nothing you can do about your stress level. The bills aren’t going to stop
coming, there will never be more hours in the day for all your errands, and your career or family
responsibilities will always be demanding. But you have a lot more control than you might think.
In fact, the simple realization that you’re in control of your life is the foundation of stress
management.

Managing stress is all about taking charge: taking charge of your thoughts, your emotions, your
schedule, your environment, and the way you deal with problems. The ultimate goal is a
balanced life, with time for work, relationships, relaxation, and fun – plus the resilience to hold
up under pressure and meet challenges head on.

Strategies for stress management:

Unhealthy ways of coping with stress:

These coping strategies may temporarily reduce stress, but they cause more damage in the long
run:

 Smoking  Using pills or drugs to relax

 Drinking too much  Sleeping too much
 Overeating or undereating  Procrastinating
 Zoning out for hours in front of the TV or  Filling up every minute of the day to avoid
computer facing problems
 Withdrawing from friends, family, and  Taking out your stress on others (lashing out,
activities angry outbursts, physical violence)

Tips for Coping with Stress

Watch for signs of stress. When they occur, try to avoid the cause or change how you react. Other
helpful tips:

• Do something that relaxes you such as: deep and slow breathing, stretching exercises, yoga, a
massage, meditation, listening to music, reading, a hot bath or shower.

• Get a hobby or do something you enjoy.

• Learn to accept things that you cannot change.

• Think positive.

• Set limits. Learn to say no. Take one thing at a time.

• Get 8 hours of sleep each night.

• Eat a healthy diet that includes fruits, vegetables, protein and whole grains.
Limit caffeine and sugar. • Exercise regularly. Exercise will help relax tense muscles, improve
your mood

and help you sleep better.

• Talk to your family and friends about your problems. • Do not deal with stress in unhealthy
ways such as eating too much, not eating

enough, using tobacco products, drinking alcohol or using drugs. • Get help from a professional
if you need it. A counselor can help you cope with stress and deal with problems. Your doctor
may prescribe medicines to help with sad feelings, nervousness or trouble sleeping.

Talk to your doctor or nurse if you have signs of stress.

Happiness and well-being

Live! Love! Learn!...Capture your bliss

Understanding the determinants of human happiness and well-being is important in the quest for
ecological sustainability (and social justice), because it helps us decide how to best use the
limited material throughput available, and identify what other, non-material factors are
important.

 “ happiness” “happiness and contentment”

 “satisfaction with life”
 “emotional health”
 “meeting basic needs”
 “state in which individuals feel competent to influence their lives & context”
 “safe & secure”
 “quality of life”
 “it’s about physical, economic and environmental factors”
 “good social and community relationships”
 “self-esteem”
“confidence”

Conflict Styles
Conflict is often best understood by examining the consequences of various behaviors at
moments in time. These behaviors are usefully categorized according to conflict styles. Each
style is a way to meet one's needs in a dispute but may impact other people in different ways.
 Competing is a style in which one's own needs are advocated over the needs of others. It
relies on an aggressive style of communication, low regard for future relationships, and the
exercise of coercive power. Those using a competitive style tend to seek control over a
discussion, in both substance and ground rules. They fear that loss of such control will result
in solutions that fail to meet their needs. Competing tends to result in responses that increase
the level of threat.
 Accommodating, also known as smoothing, is the opposite of competing. Persons using
this style yield their needs to those of others, trying to be diplomatic. They tend to allow the
needs of the group to overwhelm their own, which may not ever be stated, as preserving the
relationship is seen as most important.
 Avoiding is a common response to the negative perception of conflict. "Perhaps if we
don't bring it up, it will blow over," we say to ourselves. But, generally, all that happens is that
feelings get pent up, views go unexpressed, and the conflict festers until it becomes too big to
ignore. Like a cancer that may well have been cured if treated early, the conflict grows and
spreads until it kills the relationship. Because needs and concerns go unexpressed, people are
often confused, wondering what went wrong in a relationship.
 Compromising is an approach to conflict in which people gain and give in a series of
tradeoffs. While satisfactory, compromise is generally not satisfying. We each remain shaped
by our individual perceptions of our needs and don't necessarily understand the other side
very well. We often retain a lack of trust and avoid risk-taking involved in more collaborative
behaviors.
 Collaborating is the pooling of individual needs and goals toward a common goal. Often
called "win-win problem-solving," collaboration requires assertive communication and
cooperation in order to achieve a better solution than either individual could have achieved
alone. It offers the chance for consensus, the integration of needs, and the potential to exceed
the "budget of possibilities" that previously limited our views of the conflict. It brings new
time, energy, and ideas to resolve the dispute meaningfully
By understanding each style and its consequences, we may normalize the results of our behaviors
in various situations. This is not to say, "Thou shalt collaborate" in a moralizing way, but to
indicate the expected consequences of each approach: If we use a competing style, we might
force the others to accept 'our' solution, but this acceptance may be accompanied by fear and
resentment. If we accommodate, the relationship may proceed smoothly, but we may build up
frustrations that our needs are going unmet. If we compromise, we may feel OK about the
outcome, but still harbor resentments in the future. If we collaborate, we may not gain a better
solution than a compromise might have yielded, but we are more likely to feel better about our
chances for future understanding and goodwill. And if we avoid discussing the conflict at all,
both parties may remain clueless about the real underlying issues and concerns, only to be
dealing with them in the future. If you'd like further insights into the conflict styles you tend to
use take the Situational Conflict Styles Assessment Exercise on this site. If you have further
questions contact us!
Scoring key

Total your score for the 20 items

20.29 You are your own best ally. You have a high degree of self control, self esteem and
identity

30.49 You have a healthy sense of control over your life. Occasional negative self talk
causes you to feel anxious in stressful situations

50.69 Your options are often clouded and you feel trapped because of negative self talk

70.80 Life has become one crisis after another, seek out some help if required