A Victory at All Costs Is Not a Victory

Attempting to succeed in every single thing you do, to win every

disagreement, and to get to do everything your way would lead you
to a myopic focus on meaningless confrontations instead of a big-picture
focus on what you really want.
KI SUH PARK is one of the leading architects in Los Angeles. He accepts
nothing less than total effort from himself. And he demands total effort
from those around him. He was known for setting records for fi ring
people and insulting colleagues when he returned their memos to them
with grammatical errors highlighted.
When Los Angeles suffered through the violence and destruction of
the riots of 1992, his perspective began to change. Ki Suh was asked to
lead Rebuild L.A.—an initiative to both replace destroyed buildings and
reinvigorate the economy of impoverished sections of Los Angeles.
The experience changed his perspective dramatically. “I used to look
through my eyes on everything, form an opinion from my eyes. But I
learned that you really have to have empathy for other people, how they
see the same thing,” he says.
When he took on the project of helping Los Angeles, he was sud denly
thrust into thinking about the big picture. His purpose has changed,
from getting everything done his way to making a contribution to what
needs to be done. When new projects—projects that refl ect his vision as
well as the wishes of the community—open, though, “it is,” says Ki Suh,
“exhilaration.”
The will to succeed comes in two distinct forms. Hypercompetitive people
(about 60 percent of competitive people) focus on winning all the time,
regardless of the importance of the matter. Self-oriented competitive people
(about 40 percent of competitive people) focus on doing well, but with an
emphasis on improving themselves so that they can do even better in the
future. (Glaman 1999)