Tricksters and Gods

by sakurademonalchemist

Loki's in for it now. Odin has had enough and has banished him to Earth to relearn
some lessons. Too bad he hadn't paid attention to where Loki ended up. Now Harry
Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived, has to deal with memories that aren't his own while he
gets his revenge on those who sought to use him as a weapon. Can Harry regain
what he lost, or will his past self take control first?

Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Harry P., Loki - Chapters: 21 -

Words: 54,615 - Reviews: 1,898 - Favs: 5,932 - Follows: 4,260 - Updated:
12/24/2014 - Published: 3/10/2014 - Status: Complete - id: 10177155

URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10177155

Table of Contents
Table of Contents

1. Chapter 1

2. Chapter 2

3. Chapter 3

4. Chapter 4

5. Chapter 5

6. Chapter 6

7. Chapter 7

8. Chapter 8

9. Chapter 9

10. Chapter 10

11. Chapter 11
12. Chapter 12

13. Chapter 13

14. Chapter 14

15. Chapter 15

16. Chapter 16

17. Chapter 17

18. Chapter 18

19. Chapter 19

20. Chapter 20

21. Chapter 21
Chapter 1

Loki looked around him without any mirth. He had failed to destroy those
meddlesome humans that his brother so loved, and he had failed to keep the
Tesseract. He had little doubt his crimes would earn imprisonment...Odin could
never bear to lose his youngest son.

"Loki, since you show no remorse towards your actions against the humans or your
family, I sentence you to banishment until you learn to repent for your crimes. You
shall not be welcome on Asgard or any worlds known until your majority or your
memories are restored to you. Your magic shall be bound to mortal limits, and
your status as Prince of Asgard withheld until you are fit to return among us," said
Odin, slamming his staff onto the floor.

He used a little too much energy and ended up turning Loki into an infant child in
1978...in Britain.

***
Harry James Potter was not your average child. For one thing, he was able to create
doubles of himself the fourth time he burned his hand cooking his 'family' a meal.
After that he tended to roam around the neighborhoods to avoid his own home.

For another he was a wizard. Not just any wizard though, but the boy-who-lived.

And he hated that nickname.

Harry had long since made a point that anyone who seeks to use that damnable
nickname would have to pay a fine of three knuts. The goblins, when told of his
plan to make that name one that they hated as much as he did, laughed openly at
the trick.

Part of the reason why the Weasly family were 'in the red' so to speak was because
of that stunt when he was seven. No one had told them that the goblins
automatically deducted the fine from anyone not cleared to use it by Harry himself.

When he was 12, Harry set a Fidilius charm around the damn nickname once he
found it. Now the only ones who could talk about it were those who were in the
know by the secret keeper...in this case Harry.

He loved watching them try to talk about him behind his back when they couldn't
utter certain words or phrases. The people were such sheep that they didn't even
realize what he had done.

At age fifteen, Harry had enough of their foolishness. He was ready to leave the
magical world of Britain at any time, should he be given reason to do so.
He looked past the identical copies of Privet Drive and sneered. He had high hopes
to be made prefect this year over Draco, considering it was his fault Draco was
disliked by their housemates.

The little fool didn't even realize he was being played by Harry the entire time, and
neither did that pig Ronald.

Harry had been locked inside his room yet again, though unknown to Petunia and
Vernon he had long since worked out a way out of the room itself by popping the
bolts holding the hinges in and replacing them with convincing fakes that would
open when he wanted a few days into his 'new' room when he first got his letter.

He would have starved very quickly if he hadn't thought of that trick, though the
multiple locks he later had to jam in such a way that he could pop them back into
place made it harder. Harry had always been good at manipulating locks and doors.
Hedwig, his beloved companion, hooted in boredom and irritation. She hated cages
far more than he did, and they had shared many an evening just flying around
Hogwarts.

While he was terrified of lightning, and rightly so after an incident when his cousin
had locked him out when he was seven and he had been struck not once, but twice,
flying was another matter.

Harry peered across the street where the wizard had fallen asleep and smirked. He
had noticed those foolish watchers ever since the second day, and had noted an
increase of Ms. Figg showing up far too often to ask him for tea.
He was not an oblivious child. He knew that something was up.

Which was why he was going to enact a rather elaborate plan to find one of his
relatives across the ocean. He had over heard, when he was a child, about his
mysterious cousins in the Grey family and their 'freak' daughter Jean, who he now
suspected to be a mutant.

Harry waited until night fall when his guard would have a twenty minute window
before they switched and acted as though he had fallen asleep.

In reality he had picked the lock on Hedwig's cage and donned his cloak. She knew
the plan, as he had described it to her in great detail what he had in mind and had
long since prepared for this eventuality by packing while he was still in Hogwarts.
He had claimed that the death of Cedric had been too fresh for him and had begged
off attending the feast for the night. Blaise had looked at him knowingly and said
nothing.

Everything he valued enough to keep was in his expanded bag which he had gotten
when he 'replaced' his trunk after it had been broken into when he was twelve. He
still had no idea how the hell Ginny Weasly had gotten into the tower or his room,
which he had warded extensively, when she was from a rival house.

Harry, as a Slytherin, disliked it when such annoyances cropped up. And he was a
Slytherin to the core. Even Draco admitted that their second year, when he
activated one of his contingency plans after Ginny successfully broke into their
tower, though how they had yet to discover.
If Ginerva Weasly had any illusions that he would accept her as Lady Potter when
they were of age to married, they were broken that night when he discovered her
presence in his room. The word thief had been branded on her back and had only
been removed once the year had ended and the diary itself destroyed. Harry had
been the one to remove it, but he had broken her childish dreams and alerted her
that if she continued to persist in the illusion that he would be her husband later
then her family would be so in debt that it would be unlikely that they would ever
dig themselves out. They were barely making ends meet as it was.

As it was, the only ones out of the Weasly clan he willingly associated with were
the twins and two oldest brothers. Bill was an excellent source of information
when it came to goblin cultures, and Charlie enjoyed speaking about his charges.

***

Harry crept out of the house and once he was far enough that the other watcher
wouldn't see him, conjured a taxi. Bill had been quite helpful in telling him how to
summon the magical cabs instead of the less than pleasant Knight Bus.

"Where to governor?" asked the cabbie, a muggleborn by the looks of it.

"The second nearest Gringotts branch. I have no desire to deal with the hustle and
bustle of Diagon," said Harry frankly.
"Slytherin?" asked the cabbie before he put the car in gear.

"One who has never once spoken a word against the mundane born, and indeed
hexes anyone stupid enough to utter the word 'mudblood' in my presence. Malfoy
was most displeased when he learned why I had been hexing him so frequently,"
said Harry with a drawl.

"Which Malfoy?"

"Younger, sadly. The older apparently knows what the word 'tact' means. Though I
did hex Lucius Malfoy's hair a most garish pink when he nearly got me killed."

The cabbie snickered evilly.

"You're alright for a snake kid. Was a Badger meself," said the cabbie.

"I prefer the Puff's to the Lions in all honestly. While their general niceness is a bit
grating, they aren't all bigots like half the lion house or nosy as the 'Claws. And
don't get me started on my own house. If I hadn't shown that I was fully prepared
to hex anyone who pissed me off, they would have eaten me alive," said Harry
honestly. What was it about cab drivers that made people chatty?

"So what sort of music you like?" asked the cabbie.

"Irish, ironically enough. Particularly that group called the Irish Tenors. Don't get
me wrong, I enjoy Linkin Park, but sometimes it's nice to hear singing without
having your ear shouted off by a poorly tuned instrument."

"Favorite song?"

"The Green Fields of France, which was based on a visit to a fallen soldier's grave
named Willie MacBride. It was sad, but a fitting tribute to a fallen soul," said
Harry.

Finally they reached the nearest Gringotts branch Harry tipped the man ten
galleons, five more than the fee had been considering the meter and he sped off.

After that it took him two hours to find out where his mystery cousin, one Jean
Grey, lived and to arrange a meeting in New York. Apparently she was one of the
few mutants that the goblins took note of because she was related to Lily Evans,
wife of James Potter.

There was no way he was staying in England, not if Voldemort had returned. He
knew exactly where that road led, and he wanted no part of it.

He was not their bloody martyr.

***
Jean sipped her drink while waiting for her cousin. To be perfectly honest she was
shocked that any of her family would willingly associate with her after they
learned of her power. Her boyfriend, Scott, sat next to her comfortingly.

"When does his plane get in?" asked Scott.

"It just landed," said Jean, her powers overhearing the thoughts of the passengers.
Surprisingly she couldn't catch a hint of her mystery cousin.

Fifteen minutes after it landed, she caught a glimpse of her mystery cousin. He
took one look at her hair and immediately honed in.

"You must be Jean. I'm Harry," he said politely, shaking her hand.

"Scott Summers," said her boyfriend.

"Charmed. Hmm? I see the report about you being a natural psychic wasn't lying.
Don't look so alarmed, I have nothing against others with a unique genetic quirk.
One of my uncles happens to be a werewolf and I get along perfectly fine with
him," said Harry.

"Why can't I read your thoughts?"

Harry tapped his head.

"Mental barriers and dampeners. One of my teachers had a rather disturbing habit
of listening in to the minds of young children just to keep them in line. The second
I heard a rumor about it I researched how to make a barrier. No one can read my
mind without my say-so," said Harry proudly.

"You really have nothing against mutants?" asked Scott quietly.

"So long as they aren't trying to kill me, we'll have no problems. I've had enough
racial bias to last me a lifetime thanks to my so-called aunt thank you," said Harry
flatly.

***

"Welcome to the Institute Harry."

"I have to say, this place is interesting enough to rival Hogwarts. Nowhere near as
big though."
"My name is Charles Xavier. You already know your cousin Jean, and her
boyfriend Scott. This is Aurora Monroe," said Xavier.

"Pleasure to meet you Ma'am," said Harry. Jean looked highly amused at
something.

"May I ask why you fled Britain?"

"Are you aware of the terrorists and mass attacks on people in the seventies? The
man responsible for them came back last fall and if I had stayed I would have
ended up in a war zone. I have no desire to be forced into a fight that I have
nothing to do with," said Harry bluntly.

"Ah...If I may, would you allow me to see your memories? It would answer a lot of
questions and relieve some of my worries."

"Concerned I'm a mutant-hater?" said Harry amused. After dealing with Petunia
and Vernon for fourteen years, he had enough of that nonsense.

"Among other things," admitted Xavier.

Harry lowered some of his mental barriers, enough for Xavier to 'read' all of his
memories for the past five months or so and to see the Dursley family in all their
'glory'. That was more than enough to satisfy Xavier's interest.

"I'm sorry you had to suffer the loss of a classmate."

"I have always gotten along well with the house of the loyal and hardworking, and
the fact I could give them the name and picture of his killer had only proved that I
cared. I even stole his wand so that he would have to procure another," said Harry
sadly. While Cedric hadn't been his friend, per say, he had been a good and
honorable man.

Harry had done his best so that his parents would at least have a chance to bury
him honorably.

"So he's good to stay?" asked Jean.

"He's free to stay. I saw no resentment or anger towards mutants, just

indifference."

"Guess we'll show you to your room then..." said Jean.

"All I ask is that I don't end up with someone who snores," said Harry flatly. Her
lips quirked.

"I believe we can arrange that much."

***
"Hi, I'm Bobby."

"Harry."

"So what's your power?"

"Too ranged to tell honestly. I can make illusionary doubles and eventually turn
into an animal...oh, and I can talk to snakes like it's the Queen's English."

"Seriously?"

"Help me find a snake and I'll show you."

Bobby grinned. His new roommate was going to be fun to have around he could
just tell!

***
Scott ran into the room when he heard the screams from some of the girls.

It took him five seconds to find out why...a few harmless garden snakes had
someone gotten into the mansion. Then he heard the snickering.

"Oh dear lord, not another one," said Scott.

Bobby and Harry were clearly behind the prank. Harry walked into the room and
hissed lowly. The snakes immediately slithered up his arms.

"Well at least you won't be drawing too much suspicion around here. Snake-talking
is relatively normal compared to the others...though you two are going to explain
to Jean why I had to leave the room," he said dryly.

"Tell her I was making my monthly offering to my patron god."

Scott blinked at that.

"You have a patron god?"

"Most who follow the old ways of magic do. In my case I follow some of the more
reasonable Scandinavian beliefs, namely the Norse ones. Everyone back home
knew I was a devout follower of Loki. No one has ever cared before," said Harry
with a shrug.

"You actually practice the Norse religion?" asked Scott incredulous.

"Considering the fact my dad, uncle and godfather were notorious pranksters in
their youth?" said Harry with a roguish grin.

Scott pinched the bridge of his nose.

"You are going to explain tomorrow what that means. In the meantime, could you
set the snakes outside?" he asked.

"Sure. They were only doing it to look at the girls anyway... I swear most snakes
are glorified perverts," snorted Harry.

Chapter 2
Harry found himself in a room explaining patiently that he was a follower of the
older religions, namely that of Loki. At most he would celebrate during important
days and play a minor prank once a month, or if he was really bored a big one.

At least Harry had a cover story for leaving England. He could claim that he had
trouble controlling his ability to speak to snakes and it had drawn unwanted
attention. None of the other students would even notice his presence now.

He was just another 'mutant' just one with more than a single power. And he liked
it.

***

Two years after leaving Britain...

"What's this MRA nonsense about?" asked Harry.

"It's some stupid registration thing for mutants. They want us to out ourselves to
the general public," said Bobby in disgust.

Harry blinked.
"Isn't that the same bullshit Hitler did to the Jews in Germany before World War
Two started?"

They had recently covered that war and Harry had taken more than a passing
interest in one of the aspects...specifically that of HYDRA and the mentions of an
odd energy.

He had gotten reports of it from the American Ministry and according to rumor
HYDRA had been using some sort of odd cube device that had unlimited energy.
For some reason it stuck in his head long after he had finished his homework on
the subject. Like a half forgotten memory of something.

"So what are you going to do now that you've passed those weird tests?"

"I was thinking of applying to a college. I heard there was an open spot for interns
out near New Mexico," said Harry.

Another thing that had been bugging him was the name Jane Foster.

"Sure you'll be able to handle it?" teased Bobby.

"Why not? It's not like I haven't completed my magical education, or my normal
one plus what Xavier insists we learn before we go out to the normals," said Harry.
"So are you going with Dr. Gray to this little meeting about the Registration Act?"

"I'm going as moral support and possibly act as the one to make counter
arguments. Apparently I'm better at making reasonable debates than even the
Professor," said Harry with a shrug.

Which was a bit of an understatement. Harry was the go-to mutant for getting out
of trouble, and some of the kids had jokingly said his mutant name should be
Silvertongue with how good he was at getting people to see his point of view.
Strangely that name actually struck a cord with him, though he had no idea why.

***

Jean was up at the podium explaining mutation to a room full of politicians, most
of whom didn't know anything about the mutant issue. Senator Kelly brought up
some of the more noted mutants, most of which had already been brought to the
mansion after being found out.

By the time he got to his Registration Act, Jean had already opened a link to her
cousin. She would need his smooth talking skills to keep this from getting out of
hand.
"Senator Kelly, are you a fan of history by any chance?" she asked.

"I fail to see what this has to do with your report Doctor Gray," said Kelly with a
sneer.

"It is a fact that before World War Two, Hitler and the Nazi party were extremely
bias against anyone who didn't fit their ideal of a perfect German. Gypsies, Jews,
anyone who failed to fit their Aryan profile was persecuted. It is well known that
before the Holocaust, Jews were forced to wear a Star of David on their clothing to
identify their faith."

"I don't see what this has to do with..."

"It's also true that before the Civil Rights Act that African Americans were
segregated simply because of the color of their skin. Over a hundred years ago
women weren't even allowed to vote."

"Get to the point Dr. Gray. The good people here don't need their precious time
squandered by a history lesson," said Senator Kelly.

However several people were looking at her with interest. In each instance she
described, the same thing occurred. Persecution in the name of something that the
victims had no control over.

"This Mutant Registration Act that you are proposing is almost identical to what
the Jews were put through simply because of their faith shortly before the
Holocaust. Mutants are in the minority compared to normal humans, however in
America there are many laws which protect minority groups from being persecuted
simply because of something they had no control over. Tell me Senator Kelly...are
you really prepared to persecute a minority group simply because of a unique quirk
in their genetic make up that they have no control over?"

Senator Kelly looked very surprised at the accusation.

"Doctor Gray, I hope for your sake you are not accusing me of being a racist!" he
said angrily.

"The definition of a racist is believing you are superior to another simply because
of the circumstances of someone's birth. Tell me Senator Kelly...if you truly
believe mutants are inferior, how does that not make you a racist? These people
have no control over their genetic make up any more than you have control over
the fact that you were born a male."

She had him there. There was no way in hell Kelly could promote the bill which
would force Mutants to register who they were and what their powers were without
looking like a racist, something that wouldn't go over well at all with the voters.

Once the meeting was over, Harry noted that several Senators had agreed with
some of the points he had made concerning mutants.

By the Constitution alone they should have been protected since they qualified as a
minority group. Something Senator Kelly failed to realize, as had many others.

"That was very well played," said an older man.

Harry looked at him. He noticed an odd tattoo on his left arm and knew what that
meant.

"Sorry if I brought up bad memories, but the sheer ignorance that bill encouraged
made me sick. I happen to be good friends with mutants and I honestly never saw
anything different between them and a regular human," said Harry.

"My name is Eric Lencher."

"Magneto. I've heard of you. You're one of those that support Mutant superiority
and try to dominate the normal folks," said Harry.

"I see my old friend Charles has taught you well."

"He's an okay teacher, but his methods are fatally flawed. Still, he's better than
Dumbledore ever was," said Harry.

Magneto paused, as he knew that name.

"You're a magical?"

"I hide as a mutant because I was being persecuted simply because of bad luck.
Besides, Jean is actually my cousin on my mother's side."
That surprised him.

"Beyond that I actually have no quarrel with you or your cause. In fact I find
Mystique rather fascinating, as her power appears to be a nonmagical
manifestation of a known magical gift called Metamorphamagi. I believe one of
my paternal cousins has the same ability, though I haven't seen Tonks in years."

He had the same gift, he just didn't use it.

"Fascinating that a wizard would defend the rights of a mutant," said Eric.

"I would be a hypocrite if I didn't. Wizards and mutants have a great deal in
common in that the normal human fears them over something they have no control
over. And like wizards, there are groups such as yours which promote racial
superiority in retaliation."

"I do hope for your sake you are not comparing my Brotherhood to the Death
Eaters," said Eric in warning.

"Just a few similarities. For one thing, while your group does promote mutant
superiority, it does not go out of it's way to target innocent bystanders without
being provoked first. Death Eaters target children and ordinary people, the
Brotherhood of Mutants ignores them unless they do something to anger them first.
So yes, while you and your group have several common factors in your doctrine, it
is the intent which separates your respective factions," said Harry calmly.
Eric blinked. The boy had just compared him to those idiot Death Eaters while in
the same breath complimenting him and his group for not targeting innocents.

Eric might have worried about the boy becoming a politician were it not for the
fact he simply didn't care for superiority because of birth. Well that and the fact
that the boy was British born meant that while he might rise to the ranks of an
effective politician he would never become what the mutants needed...the
president.

There were other alternatives to that though...

"Tell me Potter, have you ever considered becoming a lawyer?"

Harry grinned evilly.

***

"I thought you wanted to take that internship in New Mexico?" asked Jean. She
was half amused, half terrified.
Ever since Magneto made that odd comment to Harry, he had been tearing through
law books like no tomorrow. Thanks to his eidetic memory, he now knew most of
the laws of America.

Too bad he had to go through the same amount of years as everyone else, unless he
managed to make a name for himself.

Either way he was now the go-to for getting out of legal trouble for mutants.

Which was why Jean was actually worried...Harry was an 'EOV' according to the
younger mutants...an Equal Opportunity Viper. This image was not helped in the
least when he somehow managed to get his hands on a pit viper which he wore
around his neck like a tie.

The reason why she was somewhat freaked out was because when he was in a bad
mood, Harry could be downright vicious with his tongue.

On the other hand, he could be charming when he had to be. Which was why he
had his own mutant codename.

Harry "Viper" Potter.

It was a common phrase around the Institute that if you pissed off the Viper you
would get bit.

"So I heard you're taking the exams next week. Any thoughts?"
"They're letting me take online courses, since I was accepted as an intern with Ms.
Foster. As long as my grades don't fall below accepted levels, I can work on my
skills during the day while I work on the stars at night."

That was the great thing about interning in New Mexico...Jane Foster's work area
was less than fifteen miles from a nearby college where they had law degrees. He
could work on being a lawyer while he helped Ms. Foster in her attempts to
understand the universe.

Having two very high level degrees would only look good on a resume later.

"When do you leave?"

"I'm taking the entrance exam first. If I pass, then I get into law school without
having to go through college first. If I don't, then I fall back on my internship and
get that degree before I try again," shrugged Harry.

Always have a back-up.

Harry went ahead to New Mexico where his recently bought trailer was waiting for
him. It was less of a trailer than a small mansion thanks in part to liberal use of the
expansion charms. It could also be considered a portable fortress with half the
spells Harry had added to it.

Which was why he almost missed meeting the infamous Wolverine.

***

Harry was about to go finish packing after making a quick lunch of some
sandwiches when he saw a man looking very disoriented wandering around. The
moment he ducked behind a pillar, he smirked.

"You know it's rather pointless to hide in a school with at least three well known
telepaths," he said bluntly.

"Wha...where am I?" he demanded.

"Xavier's Institute for the Gifted, I/E mutants. I take it you were brought here
unconscious?"

He didn't say anything, but Harry could tell from his surprised look that had in fact
been the case.

"Which means you woke up in the infirmary under the main school and were likely
given sedatives due to injuries. No wonder you're disoriented. Would you prefer to
eat first or meet the Professor?" he asked.
Hearing the rumble of the Wolverine's stomach, Harry snorted.

"Follow me to the kitchens. Just to warn you, we don't have any liquor here since
the Professor isn't much of a drinker," he said.

"Damn."

"The second I hit twenty one, I am so drinking everyone under the table in the first
bar I find," said Harry grumbling.

In England he would legally be allowed to drink anyway...hell, fifteen year olds

were able to get their hands on firewhiskey all the time.

Despite being an English citizen allowed to live in the US, they refused to
acknowledge the lower age limit in bars, despite having his passport and sworn
statements otherwise.

He had not been pleased when he learned about that. Fortunately he had ways
around it.

Thank Loki for aging potions and confundus charms.

Once Logan had been fed and watered, Harry lead him to the Professor.
After that he finished packing. He was gone by the next day.

***

"Hey short stuff," said Darcy grinning. Harry scowled. He hated that nickname, but
he loved Darcy's sense of humor...when he aimed it at anyone but him.

The two were often pranking each other in between work and his classes.

There was a sudden shout from Jane.

"DARCY! HARRY! GET IN HERE NOW!" she roared.

Harry grinned evilly. Jane was the unfortunate victim of a minor prank war he had
started with Darcy yesterday. She had been too caught up in his notes to overhear
that particular conversation and Harry took full advantage of it. Selvig, the coward,
had made a point to avoid the area while he looked up old Norse legends after
hearing who Harry worshipped.

Mostly so he wouldn't be lost whenever Harry made the odd reference to a legend
or two.
Darcy looked at the grinning Harry and had to ask "What did you do to piss her
off?"

"I left some sites on her computer...she must have stumbled onto one of my little
traps I left," he said.

Walking in, Darcy tried not to laugh when she saw the rather horrifying video
containing two men and several items she would never look at the same way twice.
Jane looked furious.

"Which one of you left this on here?"

"It's your fault for not paying attention. Selvig heard me challenge Darcy
yesterday... or having you noticed he's been missing since breakfast?" countered
Harry.

Jane looked irritated...and made a note to hit Eric for not warning her before he ran
off.

"Which legend was he looking at today?" asked Darcy.

"Said he was going to look up Thor for some reason or another. Don't see why,
Thor was a complete idiot in Norse mythology," said Harry grumpily.
For some reason, even the mere mention of Thor tended to annoy him. And the few
fools who tried to capitalize his dislike of thunderstorms usually ended up on the
wrong end of his acid tongue once he found them.

He wasn't afraid of thunderstorms per say, but he did get rather irritable whenever
one came by. It was part of the reason why he had chosen to move to New
Mexico...the arid climate wasn't very good at producing rain storms, let alone ones
with lightning involved. And despite his scar, Harry really, really didn't like
lightning.

As Harry and Darcy exchanged sniping comments (with no real anger behind
them...it was all in good fun) Harry undid the first trap Jane had triggered, and the
second to keep her off guard.

He had left numerous traps in her computers, and to be honest it was too amusing
to remove all of them.

Chapter 3

Harry stepped up to the podium with a smirk. He had graduated early with full
marks and the highest honors...and had passed the bar exam with a near perfect
score.
He was now legally a lawyer...and the fun part was that he had registered himself
as a barrister in England a month after passing the exam again. So he could operate
in both countries.

Oh the fun he would have ripping magicals to shreds using only his words and the
fact he knew they were magical.

It would probably take less time to join the magical courts, thanks to the fact that
they knew what time turners were.

Harry gave a short speech, one that made a few people laugh, before he left the
podium.

***

"Whatcha got there short stuff?" asked Darcy.

Jane had been surprised and relieved that Harry had remained on her team after he
officially became a lawyer. In his words, he had put too much time into his degree
to give it up just because he had finished his law degree.
"It's a book on a rather obscure set of laws. I love seeing the look of shock on
people's faces when they realize they were outmaneuvered completely," said Harry
grinning evilly.

In this case he was reading a book on goblin clan laws.

Suddenly his eyes fell on a rather old law that concerned right of conquest...and he
began to cackle. Very evilly.

"Why do I get the feeling you'll be gone for a while once you finish your degree?"
asked Darcy.

"Revenge is sweet!" cackled Harry.

***

In Asgard...
Heimdall shuddered. This was supposed to be Loki's punishment, but he was
having far too much fun with it. How was Odin supposed to know that the humans
had a job which was uniquely suited to someone of Loki's temperament?

He watched as Loki went back to England and began a series of events that would
lead to the Magical communities ultimate downfall and reintegration with the
normal humans.

***

Ragnok looked at the wizard in disbelief.

"You want us to ally with the muggles?" he said in disgust.

"Let's face it, the purebloods are just pushing around old gold and calling it profit.
However according to goblin laws, if the head and the heir of a magical line are
declared legally insane, they lose all rights to their vaults and the gold goes to the
one who set up their fall. The prize of conquest as it were," said Harry.

"I fail to see how this should convince us to write up a treaty with the muggles."
"The law makes no mention of the court having to be magical in origin. If you snap
a wizard or witch's wand, they would have great difficulty proving that they are
telling the truth...and with how out of date the magicals are..." said Harry grinned
evilly.

Ragnok stared at the rather arrogant wizard. Then he started to cackle, evilly at
that.

With how out of touch the magical community was with it's muggle counterpart,
setting up the purebloods to be arrested and declared insane after a treaty with the
muggles would insure that they lose their precious gold.

"We want a percentage of the gold," said Ragnok.

"Deal. Twenty percent of the gold, but I get all the books after you've copied them
for your clans. And first pick of magical artifacts."

"Agreed. Now, can you set up a meeting with the muggles?" asked Ragnok
eagerly.

"Easily," said Harry.

The two shook on it, and with that the magical communities self-governed state
began it's fall. All because they chose to anger the wrong wizard.
***

A week later a secret treaty between the Muggle Queen of England and the Goblin
tribes was signed. Because of how the wizard felt about goblins, the office that
dealt with such matters was unable to warn the Minister about this treaty.

The first victim to fall prey to this swift attack was none other than one Lucius
Malfoy.

Harry personally snapped his wands and destroyed his portkeys.

Harry straightened his tie and adjusted what appeared to be a viper pin to his lapel.
He was considered a junior barrister, but considering who he was up against it
didn't really matter.

As a magical lawyer, the Queen had hired him to deal with the magicals and bring
them back to the twentieth century by force. He started by having a standing order
for the coppers to snap any sticks found on people who had trouble blending it in
half. They were to confiscate anything on their persons and put it away in storage.

Any Death Eater stupid enough to operate in a muggle-heavy environment quickly

found themselves on the wrong side of an iron jail. And since iron absorbed magic,
apparition was impossible. A pair of special magic-restricting cuffs insured that
wandless magic was made impossible as well.
Lucius Malfoy took one look at the prosecution and became mad with rage. He had
to be restrained while Harry tore him a new one on the stand.

Because of how outdated magicals were, it took little time for the defense to have
the Malfoy head declared legally insane. It didn't help that Malfoy kept calling
them worthless muggles, or that his family name wasn't worth anything outside of
the magical communities.

Harry gleefully (it was well hidden) had the man sentenced to a remote psychiatric
hospital and the records sealed.

His next victim was Draco, who had the bad luck of seeing him on the street and
tried to hex him in full view of the Scotland Yard.

He was arrested, tried, and sent to a different hospital.

Harry had a good deal of trouble holding back his evil cackles when he went to
visit the goblins after that trial. Once in the bank the goblins even joined him in
maniacal laughter.

The Malfoys were only the first Dark families to feel the bite of the Viper's tongue.
***

"Everyone, I have horrible news. Harry has returned to England at long last...but he
has gone dark," said Dumbledore solemnly.

Sirius listened to his words for about three seconds before he snorted in disbelief.

"Yeah right. Unless your definition of being dark means that he's the best damn
barrister in England, I'll have to ask you to pass whatever the hell it is you're
smoking," said Sirius in disagreement.

"He's killed off four Dark families!" said Dumbledore.

"No he hasn't," said Sirius with assurance.

"What do you mean Black?" asked Moody.

"I mean my dear godson has found the funniest damn loophole in goblin law that I
have ever seen and he's using it against us. Coincidentally I would advise locking
your wands and brushing up on recent muggle history lest you get bit as well," said
Sirius.
The second he found out how Harry had gotten Lucius and Draco declared insane,
he had done the intelligent thing and immediately went into a local library under
disguise and started brushing up on muggle topics. He had advised his fellow
pranksters to do the same, and the twins had started reading up on muggle
achievements during their free time.

And just to be sure, they had locked up their real wands in their vaults and had
started to use a poor replacement just in case they accidentally got caught by
Harry's web. With the new mandate to snap all wands if caught, they didn't want to
loose their weapons just because they were careless.

"What?" said Moody, his eye stopping on Black.

"Harry found a law in the goblin clans that said and I quote 'should the head and
heir of a clan be declared legally insane by the courts, their vaults are forfeited to
the one who revealed the weakness in the bloodline'. In short if you get caught,
you'll be tried and declared insane unless you start studying now," said Sirius.

"This is preposterous! The Wizangamot wouldn't declare Lucius or Draco Malfoy

insane!" said Dumbledore.

"It didn't say the court in question had to be magical in origin," said a voice
smugly.

Any whirled around to find a very smug Harry Potter looking at them.

"How did you get in here?" shrieked Molly Weasly.

"Next time you let a known thief and petty criminal join your little group, make
sure he has the sense to destroy the paper that lets people know where the secret
hideout is first. That is, if you ever escape the nuthouse when I'm through with
you," said Harry flatly.

"Scotland Yard! You're all under arrest!" came the voices.

Sirius knew that Harry at least liked him well enough not to be too hard on him,
which was why he allowed the Yard to put him in handcuffs without a fight.

He was really glad that he had at least talked to Narcissa after she and the rest of
the Death Eaters had been kicked out of Malfoy Manor once Harry took possession
of the Malfoy's properties.

***

"Next on the docket, the people against Sirius Black. Out of curiosity exactly how
many of these cultists are you planning to drag through my court Mr. Potter?"
asked the judge.
"As many as it takes to get the message through your honor. These people are
taking children from their families and brainwashing them into believing that a
minor psychic ability is in fact magic and then throwing them away," said Harry
honestly.

The judge in question was one of those throwaways, one who had the common
sense to keep up his muggle subjects, no matter how much time it had cost him. He
was a Ravenclaw muggleborn with a grudge.

Which was why Harry had chosen him as the perfect person to help him get his
revenge on the Pure Bloods and drag the magical communities kicking and
screaming into the twentieth century. And to make things even better, he had
brought Andromeda Tonks in as the Defense for the 'cultists' once he explained
what he planned.

Andromeda Tonks was a pure blood, but she wasn't an idiot. Dumbledore was
ruining them, and if it meant revealing their world in order to save it, she would
pretend magic was fiction until the Ministry screwed up and broke their own laws.
Well that and Harry was giving up a percentage to everyone in on his plan.

He got twenty-five percent of the gold, as did the judge, the goblins and
Andromeda. Since it was all in goblin gold and in vaults not traceable by online
banking, the muggles were unaware of these transactions.

And no, the irony of being paid in the same gold that once belonged to the bastards
who had kicked him out was not lost on the judge. In the words of Harry, this was
poetic justice. The gold was just a bonus.
"Sirius Black, you stand here accused of being apart of this...cult...that seems to
thrive in removing eleven and twelve-year-old children from their homes and
families and then throwing them back completely brainwashed about magic. You
are also accused of killing thirteen people. How do you plead?"

"He pleads not guilty to the crime of first-degree murder, and asks the court for a
plea bargain on the charge of kidnapping and brainwashing," said Andromeda.

"How does the Prosecution wish to proceed?"

"I call Sirius Black to the stand," he said.

Sirius walked up, swore an oath to speak only the god's honest truth, and sat down.

"Sirius Black, on the afternoon of November 2nd you confronted a man identified
as Peter Pettigrew and then proceeded to blow up a gas main that killed thirteen
innocent people. Is this true?" asked Andromeda.

"No. I did confront that traitor Peter, but I didn't blow up any gas lines," said
Sirius.

"Could you tell the court what really happened then?" asked Harry.

"I went to check on Peter. He was one of three people who knew where my blood
brother and his wife were hiding from the terrorist that went by the name of
Voldemort because they had an infant son. When I heard they had been killed, I
went to check on Peter because he had always been rather weak-minded. When I
failed to find him in his safe house, I started looking for his body. I found him a
day later, and when I went to confront him, he started screaming at how I had
betrayed James and Lily, before he threw something on the ground. Next thing I
knew there was an explosion and he had vanished. Realizing I had been tricked, I
snapped," said Sirius honestly.

Sirius had common sense. He knew better than to mention magic, but that was in
fact what happened.

"What of the fact that out of all the bodies, only a finger was found of Pettigrew?"
asked Harry.

"The rat traitor cut it off himself. I don't know how he slipped away or managed to
hide, but thanks to him I was thrown in a dark cell with only a tiny window for
thirteen years by your so called cultists without even a trial," said Sirius darkly.

Harry stood up and looked at him in the eye.

"You admit to being part of this so called magic cult?"

"I have no love for them and I would gladly submit to any psychological exams if
it meant being a free man again," said Sirius bluntly.

"I would like to present the court a picture of the 'remains' of one Peter Pettigrew,"
said Andromeda.
She brought up a picture, from the DMLE itself, and showed it to the court on the
screen. It was a clean cut, made by a sharp knife at least and most certainly not
done by an explosion.

The judge took an hour to examine the evidence. While Sirius Black was a pure
blood, he was different from the rest in that he had been one of the few who
offered him a kind word during school and had even pranked some of the annoying
Slytherins because he kept up his muggle heritage.

"Sirius Black, upon examining the evidence and hearing sworn statements, I order
you to undergo an evaluation at St. Peter's Clinic for a period of three months at
least. If you can finish the evaluation in that time period, you are a free man. If not,
you are ordered to remain there until you are of sound mind enough to rejoin
society. Case Dismissed!"

Sirius walked out a somewhat free man. While he had avoided being stuck in a
mental health clinic (thus falling under the same trap Lucius and multiple other
pure bloods had), he still had to go through several tests before he could be
declared sane of mind. Harry had even asked him the same questions he had asked
Dolohov and the others, and unlike them he had been able to answer them without
looking like an idiot.

Who knew that all he had to do to become a free man again was to go back to
school and learn?

A few days later he ran into Harry outside the clinic.

"Having fun Sirius?" he said amused.

"Can I come watch you pull that stunt on Molly and Dumbledore?" he asked.

"Absolutely."

"I'm curious as to why you had me tried first though," said Sirius.

"Loki takes care of his own," was Harry's cryptic reply.

It had been Sirius who told him how to be a worshiper of Loki in the first place. Or
at least fixed the rituals he went through so that he wasn't embarrassing himself. So
getting Sirius through the courts first had been his way of repaying the man.

Black had at least avoided Harry's viper tongue.

Chapter 4

Harry was in a good mood. Today was Dumbledore's day in court, and he had been
anticipating this for days now.
It was simple really. The bastard had forced him to go through those ridiculous
tests and had the worst tendency of sending a shrieking Hermione on him when he
tried to avoid them. He had tolerated the girl's presence because he had no other
choice at the time. This was his way of paying him back for all the headaches she
had given him through school...and his way of proving to Dumbledore that despite
forcing Harry to associate with people like Hermione Granger and Ron Weasly, he
was still a snake all the way through.

"Albus Dumbledore, you stand accused of being part of this so called 'magic' cult
and kidnapping countless children. How do you plead?" asked the judge.

"I wasn't aware being part of a cult was considered illegal," Dumbledore said
calmly, looking at Harry specifically.

"Being part of a cult isn't considered a crime...but your particular cult is known for
kidnapping children from their families and when they're through with
brainwashing them, they throw them back into a world they are so unprepared for
that they fall to the wayside," said Harry flatly.

It was a fact, that when a muggleborn was unable to find a job in the magical
communities, they fell back into the muggle world. However seven years of only
elementary school education took it's toll on their ability to get a job, and more
often than not they were forced to become homeless or rely on the support of their
muggle relatives who had trouble understanding why they had gone to such a
special school and had nothing to show for it.
This was exactly what Harry was playing off of, and how he had been able to pull
this off. The pure bloods had cast out the first generation magic users for years
now, and now it was time for them to reap what they sowed.

The fact that they had tried and failed to use and cast him aside was just a bonus.
He had no need of their gold.

"I call Hermione Granger to the stand," said Harry.

Since Hermione was considered a victim, it was unlikely she would be tried.

"Ms. Granger, it says here in your school transcripts that you were a very
promising student. And yet when you turned eleven, you were 'accepted' into a
prestigious school called Hogwarts. After that, all further records stop dead. Our
investigation has revealed that no such school exists, and that this 'train' that takes
the 'students' to the school is on a platform that isn't there."

Harry looked at her, his eyes glinting evilly.

"Could you explain how it is that you've managed to drop off the radar?" he asked.

Hermione saw her parents in the court and tried not to hyperventilate. Harry had
tracked down and broken the memory spell she had put on them to keep them safe.
They were pissed at what she had done, no matter what her reasons. They were
also furious when they found out that her former friend was now the lead
prosecutor trying all the magicals for illegally taking children, brainwashing them,
and then throwing them out once they finished their school.
When given the facts of how few first generation witches and wizards were able to
get any decent jobs in the magical world, they had been appalled and horrified that
they had allowed their daughter go.

"Hogwarts is a very old school. They still use torches and they don't exactly have
any computers there," she said carefully.

"Ah yes, Hogwarts, a school that is supposedly held in a castle by a lake.

According to the rumors, they have no actual heating systems in place and some of
their classes take part in a moldy dungeon. And from all reports, most of the
students have no idea of what a computer is, much less what the internet is for,"
said Harry with a derisive snort.

Hermione had no way of countering that argument. It frustrated her how out of
date they were, but it wasn't like she could do anything about it.

"Tell me, Ms. Granger, how many of these so called 'pure bloods' at this school
know who first landed on the moon?" he asked.

Hermione had no answer to that.

"How many of them even know what a gun is?" he continued.

"Only those who took muggle studies," she answered.

"Ah, yes, muggles. The term these...people...use for those without whatever gift the
cultists claim is magic. Tell me Ms. Granger, how does having this gift of what
you people call Magic make you superior to the rest of the populace? If memory
serves me, this same problem was an issue at a Congressional debate in America
over a recent bill called the Mutant Registration Act, which had been revoked
because it was considered racist by the more level headed senators and infringed
on basic human rights."

And that right there was another point Harry had decided to make. Having magic
did not make you superior...it just made you a different kind of mutation.

Hermione found herself outclassed and outgunned by Harry.

"Ladies and Gentlemen of Great Britain," Harry addressed the cameras now, "We
have here a bright young woman who was taken in by these so called magicals and
brainwashed into believing that this power they call magic is the best way to
accomplish simple tasks like washing dishes or getting a book off the shelf. These
people are not to be coddled, but rather pitied. They are so terrified of the reaction
of god-fearing people such as yourself that they willingly close themselves off and
become little more than cavemen with sticks."

Seeing Molly Weasly bristle at that description, Harry continued. He wasn't a

barrister right now, but someone that many who had met him at least once feared...
Right now he was the Viper, someone who championed the outcasts and the
rejects, and tore down walls without care for the consequences.

"Thank you Ms. Granger, that will be all for now."

Hermione walked off that witness box looking horrified and defeated as she sat
next to her parents. She just had a rude wake-up call, and she knew Harry wasn't
finished quite yet.

"I call Molly Weasly to the stand," said Andromeda.

Really, this was less of a case against Dumbledore but against the collective
magical communities.

"Mrs. Weasly, it says here that you consider yourself a 'pure blood'. Could you
explain that to the nice people?"

"You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Dragging honest folk up into
court on trumped up charges!" shrieked Molly.

"Mrs. Weasly, please explain what a 'pure blood' is by your definition," he said
patiently.

Molly harrumphed, before she answered the question.

"A pure blood is someone who has at least two magical grandparents," she
answered him.

"And someone with only one set is by your definition a 'half-blood'?" he asked
calmly.
She nodded.

"Tell me Mrs. Weasly, what were the words spoken by Neal Armstrong when he
first stepped on the moon?" he asked.

"Don't be ridiculous. We've never been to the moon, and I don't know of anyone
named Armstrong," said Molly derisively.

Noticing Hermione's open wince and the looks of incredulity on the audience,
Molly realized she had just been played.

"Tell me Mrs. Weasly, do you know what a car is?"

"Some muggle invention. Really I don't know why Arthur bought it in the first
place," she said.

"For the court I would like to present a bill of sale and ownership transfer to one
Arthur Weasly for a Ford Angela," said Andromeda.

"Tell me Mrs. Weasly... what school did you send your seven children through
when they reached five?" asked Harry.

"I home-schooled all of our children," she said.

"What job does your husband hold?"

"He's the head of the Misuse and Abuse of Muggle Artifacts in the Ministry of
Magic," she said proudly.

"And how much does this earn your family on average?" asked Harry.

"He bring home twenty galleons a month," she said.

"For the courts, I would like to present a spread sheet of how much a 'galleon'
which is supposedly a gold coin used for currency, is worth in pounds. According
to you, Mrs. Weasly, your husband brings home at least one hundred pounds a
month."

Seeing the appalled looks on the faces of the audience, Molly didn't seem to realize
just how little that actually was. It didn't take a math genius to realize that the
Weasly family only had twelve hundred pounds a year for a family of nine. It was
a miracle they owned their land for such a small income.

"Mrs. Weasly, are you aware that the average 'muggle' working a dead end job
such as a fast food clerk makes seven and a half pounds per hour? Which,
according to this spreadsheet, means that they make more in a week than your
husband does in a month. In fact the average desk clerk, a position a woman of
your age and experience could easily obtain had you acquire the proper documents,
makes eight and three quarters pound an hour. So tell me Mrs. Weasly, why
exactly were you unable to send your children to primary school in light of these
facts?" asked Harry flatly.
Molly looked like he had slapped her silly with a fish. Hearing that the average
muggle made more than her husband did in a month was a hard blow, and so was
the fact that had she actually applied herself, their family would have been better
off.

Harry wasn't done just yet.

"I have, though use of the Queen's own spy network, had someone retrieve a copy
of the average Ministry worker's income for a month. According to this, the
average income for someone working at this so-called Ministry of Magic is
roughly five galleons for a department head, and six for their Minister. Yet
according to an inquiry to the Prime Minister, no such organization exists on file.
Also, thanks to a sworn statement from one Sirius Black, who you people claimed
was a mass murderer and traitor, you threw him into a small dark cell with only a
single window for light without even a trial for thirteen years. The amount of time
allowed for arrest without trial is, according to the laws of that year, one week.
During which time the accused is allowed an attorney, or allowed to speak in their
defense."

Harry turned to the audience.

"However according to Black, not only did your Ministry throw him into
this...Azkaban prison...without even a trial, you also held him for thirteen years
before he was finally able to escape on his own terms. And you people had the
audacity to set a country-wide manhunt simply because you were too arrogant to
even give him god-given day in court," spat Harry. It was clear how he felt about
this miscarriage of justice.
Molly was silent. Realizing just how much they had missed out on had come as a
hard blow.

"Tell me Mrs. Weasly, exactly how are those you claim are 'pure blooded' any
better than the everyday common citizen?"

She had no answer to that.

"No further questions."

Molly left the stand, her usual strident voice silent for once. Andromeda and Harry
went to get something to eat while they called a recess. In the meantime Harry
prepared his next victim...Fred Weasly.

Fred and George had come in defense of their parents, but unlike the rest of the
Order, they had at least tried to do things the muggle way after Sirius had warned
them of what Harry was doing.

Getting part-time jobs at a gas station near the alley had been difficult, but entirely
worth the extra cash they made in between running their shop. It was made
infinitely easier when they asked Harry for help first.

***
"Court is in session," intoned the judge.

"I call to the stand Frederick Weasly," said Harry, smirking at the glare Fred shot
him for using his proper name.

"It says here Frederick that you are what is known as a pure blood. Yet I have
records that also state you and your brother George work as part-time gas station
attendants. I thought pure bloods believed that those without this so-called gift
were beneath them?" asked Harry.

"It's Fred, not Frederick," said Fred irritably, "And we don't think that mundanes
are beneath us. We find them fascinating to be honest."

"Mundanes you say?" asked Harry.

"Don't know where that silly 'muggle' trend started, but it's pretty widely accepted."

"Tell me...Fred was it? Tell me Fred, what classes does this 'Hogwarts' have for
those accepted?" he asked.

"Well there's potions, which from what George and I can tell is something like
chemistry. Though we've had to stop using the pewter cauldrons when we read
about lead poisoning. Then there's transfiguration, which is the art of changing one
thing into another...and charms, which is what most people think when they talk
about magic..."

As Fred listed the classes available and their nonmagical equivalent Harry's case
against the magicals solidified. Especially when told that several classes were
horribly out-of-date after they spent a few months in the muggle half of Britain as
gas station attendants. They spent more time in the library looking up recent events
than they ever did in Hogwarts looking up spells.

Harry had called up Fred for two reasons. One was to give the watching British a
chance to see a world that had hidden themselves from the general public for
centuries and to prove that the idea of a witch hunt was long gone. The other was
to prove that while these people were horribly out of touch with the world around
them, they weren't completely hopeless.

Fred was a pure blood wizard, but he had gone out of his way to learn about the
world around him with minimal prompting and was open to the idea of integration.

Right as Harry was about to call Fred off the stand, the doors suddenly burst open
revealing aurors. Apparently a muggleborn had been watching the live trial of
Dumbledore and his precious Order and had alerted Madam Bones.

Unfortunately for the aurors, Harry had anticipated their arrival. The ones sent
were captured by the waiting police and their wands removed.

The judge looked annoyed at the interruption.

"Mr. Potter, care to explain?" he asked, playing along to the script they had devised
in case the Ministry took note of what was really happening.

"According to reports from Her Majesty's spy network, in the event that someone
attempts to bring these...people...out into the open and reveal magic supposedly
exists to the everyday person, they send these...Aurors...out to arrest the culprit and
erase the memory of the mundane with a 'spell'. We have yet to figure out if they
are using high-level telepaths to erase the memory or not," said Harry, playing to
the script.

With the arrest of the aurors, things were finally starting to move forward.

Harry managed to end his questions for Fred just before the court let out for the
day...something this big would definitely take several days before it finished... and
all of the accused were sent to different areas and in a magic-proof set of rooms in
different hotels under 24-hour guard.

The only ones he would allow to leave were those he had already called up.
Hermione was placed under guard as well, mostly because she was in danger from
a Death Eater attack...her house had a sniper detail if anyone came to attack her for
speaking up.

The best part about this was that the Queen had agreed that the arrogance of the
magicals had gone on far too long, and that this would be an excellent way to force
them into the modern era. After he had showed her the unemployment statistics
and the amount of first generation magicals sent home with little to show for their
so-called education aside from a fancy stick and some books just because they
weren't pure enough...well, she had given him carte blanche to deal with them. She
even allowed him to use her spies to insure that he got all the information he
needed.

The last thing he needed was for him to be exposed as a magical...but that was
unlikely as Harry had been taking online courses for years until he got his law
degree.

That and he had spent good hard cash on falsifying his records and through his
cousin had made it look like he had spent his years since he was eleven at the
Institute. It helped that thanks to Harry, the mutants were slowly being recognized
as a minority group in the US, which meant that they received certain protections
from people who hated them out of misguided fear.

Hating mutants for being mutants was considered a crime just as bad as hating
someone just because their parents were African American or Chinese. Several
people had been arrested for that crime...and slowly word was getting out that
mutants were not people that should be feared just because of a power they
couldn't control.

The American Ministry at least showed some common sense and had even used the
new trend to disguise the fact that magic existed by hiding it under the heading of a
unique mutation.

It also didn't hurt that they had contacted Professor Xavier, a known mutant
sympathizer, for advice.

Harry grinned as he looked out the window of his penthouse room in the motel. He
was finally having his revenge, and legally to boot.
Chapter 5

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***
Heimdall approached Odin with concern and confusion. He alone was aware that
Loki had been sent to the past as punishment for a crime that had yet to happen.
However Loki was having more enjoyment than a punishment rightly warranted,
especially for the crime he had committed.

Which was why he had been conflicted on whether or not he should speak up to his
King.

"Come Heimdall. What troubles you?" asked Odin.

"My King, I have noticed for years now that Loki had been sent to Midgard as
punishment for a crime he has committed in the near future. However from my
observation Loki's punishment does not appear to be...well, a punishment at all."

"What crime did he commit?" asked Odin.

"He lead the Chitauri in battle against the humans and Thor, and lost. He also
promised the Tesseract in exchange for revenge against Asgard."

"What was his punishment?" asked Odin. It was well known Heimdall saw both
present and future.

"Banishment from Asgard and all worlds known until his majority or repentance.
However that time has long past and Loki has not returned."
"What is the problem?" asked Odin. He failed to see why Heimdall looked, well,
confused.

"Because my lord, Loki is still tormenting the humans...and they're paying him to
do it!"

"...What?"

***

Harry walked into the courtroom. For some reason he noted two additions that
hadn't been there yesterday that set him on edge.

One was a giant of a man with dark skin and piercing gaze, the other was tall, but
had an old and tired feel. He had an eye-patch over one eye and seemed to be
observing the situation.

These two put him on edge more than Dumbledore ever had, even when he was
attempting Legilmency. For some reason he had an unusually strong natural
resistance to the art, and not even Snape could explain why.
There was also, according to the potion's master, some sort of memory block on
him. One he could not break no matter what they tried.

Harry went up to his chair and waited for Judge Henrickson to arrive.

"All rise," intoned the bailiff.

Today he would be calling on Dumbledore.

"Be seated," said Henrickson. He waved at Harry, who stood.

"I would like to call Albus Dumbledore to the stand," said Harry bluntly.

Dumbledore went up to the stand bemusedly, as if this was just a big

misunderstanding that would work itself out and they could all go home later.

He had no idea how vicious Harry could be when he was on a roll.

"Albus Dumbledore, according to these reports you are the headmaster of this
supposed magic school, correct?" said Harry calmly.

"That is correct."
"You were also the 'Supreme Mugwump' of the magical courts, and a member of
the ICW, which is supposedly like the united nations until recently."

"Correct," he said.

"Tell me, Mr. Dumbledore, are you aware of the unemployment rate in Britain?"
he asked as smooth as silk.

"I'm not sure how relevant that is," replied Dumbledore.

Harry brought up something on his magical-laptop. It showed unemployment rates

for the British Empire going back all the way to the start of the 'Blood Wars' as he
had taken to calling Voldemort's temper tantrums.

"Take a good long look at this Dumbledore. Here is the base unemployment rate
for Britain since 1960. And here is the graph for the number of first generation
'magicals' in the same amount of time. Now watch what happens when I compare
the number of children taken from their homes to be taught your precious gift and
sent back because they weren't pure enough to suit your so called Ministry of
Magic," said Harry.

The results were staggering.

After Voldemort's attacks stopped, the unemployment rate skyrocketed up by two

percent for each year. The number of children removed from normal homes and
sent to Hogwarts went up as well.
"As you can see here, shortly after the terrorist attacks of the seventies abruptly
ended, unemployment rose by two percent at least each year. The number of
children taken by your so called school also rose. It seems to me, Mr. Dumbledore,
that your communities are more interested in remaining in the dark rather than
trying to keep your numbers up," said Harry bluntly.

Dumbledore looked at the graphs with open shock. Harry wasn't finished with
tearing him a new one.

"Now these are only a rough estimate of the people who were taken by your school
and spit out back into the cruel world we live in. However they are by no means
exaggerated in the least. I have seen at least five different homeless encampments
full of what you people would call muggleborns, or first generation magicals, who
went to your precious school and were rejected by your society who had no interest
in letting them stay in your community because their blood wasn't pure enough for
your taste. And the average amount of people in these groups were fifty to seventy-
five."

Harry then addressed the people.

"These groups have since been relocated to a more humane environment and the
people living in it are being given a basic education so that they might rejoin the
workforce properly for free. Just because these...magicals...refuse to allow new
blood into your community, doesn't mean that Her Majesty's government is going
to let these people suffer."

Harry had arranged for the people living in these communities to live in a
declassified base where they could be brought back up to standards education wise
in exchange for helping the scientists learn more about magic. They were given
basic wage and health coverage. But most of all it was a partnership. Harry would
never let his own people be experimented on.

And much like Harry, they found it a delicious twist of irony that the same gold
which had been used to keep them out was now being used to give them a better
chance at living normally.

It wouldn't surprise Harry in the least that, when told of which god Harry
worshiped, most of the people he had saved had been converted to the Olde
Ways...specifically that of Loki.

Loki was becoming more and more popular the more he tore down the Magical
Communities precious traditions and forced them to wake up and smell the modern
day age.

Later, when he regained his memories, the true Loki would find this fact even
more amusing than getting his revenge against Dumbledore and the pure bloods
through the muggle legal system and having them declared insane.

Harry tore Dumbledore to shreds, showing the country exactly what his 'greater
good' had done to the children they had taken from their homes and 'trained'.

When Harry was done with Dumbledore, he looked the tired old man in the eye
and said "Your 'Greater Good' needs to meet some common sense."
***

Harry cricked his neck. It had been a week, and more muggleborns had come out
of the woodwork eager to speak out against the people who had taken them in and
cast them out for no reason other than their blood wasn't pure enough. Finding out
that Harry Potter, the wizard's savior, had decided to turn against the people who
had tried to use him as a weapon had been the thing they needed to believe that
maybe they could get on with their lives.

Harry wasn't getting any more gold by having the pure bloods declared insane, but
he was giving them a reality check.

He was about to go get pizza when he was hit by something from behind...and his
head about split in pain.

He knew what this was...whatever memory block was in place had been removed
and replaced with something else. Whoever had done this had known exactly how
to cast that spell, and knew that it had to be applied fast before he went after them.

He was breathing heavily as he sat on the floor trying to remember his own name.

When he was finally able to sit up, he felt different. Something about himself had
changed and he had no idea what.
Heading to the bathroom, he looked in the mirror.

There wasn't any noticeable difference...but looking at himself he knew there was a
change. It took a moment for him to realize his hair, which had always been
untamed by brush (he wore it long and in a ponytail to keep it out of the way)
seemed...flatter than he remembered. His eyes had also changed shape, but that
was only because he was looking for something.

Where his eyes had shown a calm, if confident power, there was now a touch of
anger and betrayal. Like he had been lied to one too many times and had been
punished for something he didn't remember. It was on the edge of his mind, like a
snake that stalked an unsuspecting mouse.

Giving up on pizza for the night, Harry ordered in. He had a bezoar in his mouth as
a precaution and cast a spell to detect poisons just in case.

As he ate his steak, he noticed something strange about the knife. It took him a
moment to realize that in his anger over what just happened, he had somehow bent
the metal. Looking at the knife in shock he decided to try an experiment.

He bent the steel with ease. He snapped his fingers and repaired it.

He didn't know what was happening to his body, but he had the feeling this was
how it was supposed to be. Like he had been restricted by something, and now his
real ability was coming back to him.
Any other man might have used this knowledge to try and subjugate everyone else.
They might have used their wandless magic to really make the magical
communities fear them.

But not Harry. He didn't know why this was happening now of all times, but he
knew one thing.

He had several choices. He could go back to being Harry Potter, the champion
lawyer of the more-than-human groups. He could return to being an ordinary
magical who was known for being the savior. Or he could try to rule them.

But that wasn't his way. Harry knew what it was like to be an outcast in a society
that was supposed to welcome you with open arms. This world didn't need a
king...it needed champions. People like him who took adversity and the powers
given to them and chose to do good with it.

But first...he needed to finish his case.

***

Over the course of the case against the magical communities, several had come
forward...some had been arrested.
Some, like Minister Fudge and Undersecretary Umbridge, were thrown into special
jails made just for them. Others, like Madam Bones, had shown up and were
released back into the general public.

What had started as declaring a vendetta against those who had tried to turn him
into a weapon had quickly spiraled into a mass undertaking when people began to
realize just how deep it actually went.

The Ministry of Magic had been shut down, rather violently at that, by the Prime
Minister. Pure bloods had been startled to realize that the 'muggles' had learned of
their existence and were dragging them kicking and screaming into the modern
age.

Aurors, people who had spent years hunting down those who broke the statute of
secrecy, found themselves being reeducated and put back to work with new
purpose. Healers, those who acted as doctors, found that their previous education
wasn't enough and were made to go through normal medical school in order to
learn new tricks.

But the worst hit was Hogwarts.

The school, which had survived thousands of years as the best for magical
education in Europe, was now considered so out of date that it wasn't even
amusing. The teachers were allowed to stay, but only if they were willing to at
least update their curriculum.
Filch, the cantankerous caretaker, was allowed to retire and given a house to live
with his familiar Mrs. Norris. Hagrid was allowed to stay and was even given a
new wand so he could finish his education.

And as for Voldemort and his terror troops?

Well, there was a reason why you don't mess with the military. Snape gave them
all the locations of his bases in exchange for a plea deal and the Dark Mark
removed. He returned to his home in Spinner's End and never had to teach again.

Voldemort and his men were no match for battle-hardened and well trained snipers
and enough explosives to blow up a city block.

Finally, the 'case' ended and Harry was able to leave Britain in the hands of Mrs.
Tonks.

***

"Hey short stuff. Heard you made big waves in England," said Darcy.
Harry's first thought was to return back to New Mexico and help Jane out. He
might be considered a big time lawyer, but he didn't want to waste his all his time
in the courts.

He left his number online for people to find and a newly created website. If an
outcast needed him, he was just a call away.

Harry smirked.

"I got my revenge and best of all I was paid for it. Payback is a bitch," said Harry.

"Hey Harry," said Jane, glaring.

"What?"

"She found most of your traps while you were gone," said Darcy smugly.

"Long time no see," said Selvig.

"You had no idea how happy I am to be out of England. I would honestly rather
deal with Jane's revenge than be there another day," snorted Harry.

"How come? You're a big-shot lawyer now," said Darcy.

"Yeah, but do you have any idea how pissed the magicals are now that they've
been dragged out into the twentieth century? If I stayed any longer I would be
dealing with assassination threats by now. Andromeda is a known pure blood and a
good lawyer. She doesn't need to hide. I had to get out before they found out that I
used to attend that backwards school and my reputation was shot to hell," said
Harry in a bit of a whine.

"Wait, you're a wizard too?" said Darcy.

"Used to be. I left before I completed the 'education' they claimed to give and got a
real one here. Best money I spent, getting out of Europe."

"So why did you come back here?" asked Darcy, "Shouldn't you be, I don't know,
touring the world or something?"

"Nah. I would rather come back to base, in a manner of speaking, and figure out
what to do next."

Chapter 6
Harry woke to the sound of banging. He looked at the clock.

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" he demanded.

"2 in the morning. Come on, there's an event happening," said Jane bluntly.

"What sort of event, and it had better be damn good or I'll be leaving even more
traps in your system," he warned.

Jane showed him the picture she had taken a few hours ago. Harry blearily looked
at it as his eyes were strained from reading for hours, and he had just gone to bed
an hour ago.

"So?"

"So this could prove my theory!"

"Right. I am leaving new traps in your computers for this. I only went to sleep an
hour ago," he said yawning.

"And I thought you would be interested in coming," she said annoyed. At this point
she was used to the little 'traps' Harry somehow left on her computer. She could
exit within five seconds after setting one off.
It took Darcy five minutes, and Erik ten. They found it easier to just hit mute and
let the video play out...by that time they could exit out without setting off a
secondary trap.

Jane took solace in the fact that if anyone did steal her computer, they would be in
for an unpleasant surprise. Harry had made a magical virus that would infect any
servers near the computer that was trapped. If someone tried to hack her computer
and steal her research, it would immediately jump into any computers near her
laptop and trap them all until they paid Harry to remove it.

If he was feeling particularly vindictive, he would leave it dormant to be activated

again at any time.

***

Harry was leaning against the door, his eyes half open. He had decided against
taking any pepper up, mostly because he fully intended to go back to sleep once
this was over.

Suddenly an aurora appeared over the desert, and Darcy started racing towards
where the instruments said that something would hit.
Harry was wide awake, and he felt the memory block straining and finally settling.

He knew what this was, he had traveled it before multiple times before.

The Bifrost.

He was very glad he had buckled up, because Jane was fighting Darcy over
whether to enter it or not. Suddenly there was someone there and they narrowly
avoided hitting them.

This...this was entirely too familiar.

Memories were really trying to break loose now and Harry wasn't happy about it. If
he had wanted to remember, he would have broken the block months ago that day
when his body slowly shifted away from being entirely human.

He didn't know who he had been before, but he knew there was a reason why he
had been sent to Earth in human form...and why the name Loki had felt so
hauntingly familiar.

Whoever they had hit started yelling names only Harry recognized.

'So this is an Asgardian? Wonder what he did to piss off his superiors...' mused
Harry.
The second his eyes met with the blond lunatic, memories came to him of a name.

Thor. God of Thunder and Prince of Asgard.

He also caught glimpses of Thor doing something that angered another, one he
remembered on the days prior to his body shifting away from humanity.

Odin, King of the Asgard and Thor's father.

So Thor had done something to anger Odin enough to warrant a lesson in humility?
How amusing.

"Loki! Send me back now!" he roared.

The moment Thor touched his arm, he reacted.

Harry didn't just focus on his studies when he had been taking those college
courses...he had also taken time out to learn how to defend himself after one too
many drinks.

Harry slammed his leg into the lunatic's body, sending his center of gravity off-
course and giving him the perfect chance to flip him. Just to make sure the idiot got
the message, he kicked him hard in the balls.
"My name...is Harry you imbecilic moron. And if you touch me again I'll do worse
than kick you in the chones," he snarled.

Harry was not a very nice person when he hadn't had much sleep.

Seeing him about to get up, Harry took the taser Darcy always had on her and gave
the idiot a good reason to stay down.

"Who the hell is that guy anyway?" asked Darcy after they had dumped him at the
hospital. It had taken four men to subdue the raving man.

"His name is Thor. And he's an idiot. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to get some
much needed sleep. Wake me up only if the Frost Giants descend or the world
ends. Anything less than that will earn you some rather humiliating hexes," warned
Harry, yawning widely.

"Night short stuff," said Darcy waving him off.

Erik wanted to know how Harry knew the man, but wisely decided to wait until
morning first. No way in hell was he getting on Harry's bad side when he was tired
and cranky.

***
Harry woke up around noon the next morning and immediately poured some
pepper-up potion into his boiling hot coffee. Two shots of that and he was ready to
deal with this headache.

"Morning."

"Hey Harry. It's noon," said Darcy cheerfully.

"Where are Jane and Erik?"

"Getting the mystery man from the hospital."

Harry rolled his eyes.

"Call me if he says anything intelligent. I need to fly after being dragged out of my
bed at two in the damn morning just to find a raving idiot," said Harry.

Darcy tossed him a bag. He opened it to find donuts inside. He winked at her
before he took off on his new broom.
***

It was thanks to his flight that he stumbled across what appeared to be a meteor
landing site.

At the center was a massive hammer, one he recognized as Mjolnir.

Placing a single hand on the hilt of the hammer, Harry reached out with his magic.

It thrummed, almost as if it was alive.

He tried picking it up. He picked it up, but it was too heavy for him to use at all.
Still, the very fact it had deemed him worthy enough to pick up seemed to be a
very good thing in his mind. He left it there, but laced enough spells that anyone
who tried to take it or move it would find it very hard going.

He left the area to get something to eat...lifting that hammer had taken all of his
strength and he had the feeling that this mystery person named Thor would have
answers.
***

He came into the dinner just as Thor destroyed the coffee cup. He could hear Jane
chastise him and rolled his eyes.

"A cup of coffee and perhaps a burger and fries," he said to the waitress.

Thor's eyes immediately went to him and he said happily "Loki!"

Harry turned and glared at him.

"My name you simpering oaf, is Harry. If I am to be forced to deal with your
presence then for the love of magic get my name right. Loki may be my patron god
but that does not give you the right to call me by that name," he snarled.

"Yeah, Harry is not a happy wizard when his sleep is interrupted and he has to deal
with idiots in the morning," said Darcy.

Thor looked very confused.

"Your magic and speech is almost identical to my brother Loki's."

"I'll take that as a compliment. From what I know of Loki he seems to be the only
intelligent one of the two of you," said Harry sarcastically.

"Order up!" shouted the cook.

"Thank you," said Harry, setting down next to the counter to eat his lunch. He was
going to need migraine relievers at this rate.

"So Harry, where did you fly off to this time?" asked Jane.

"I went out into the desert. Someone's left a rather large warhammer with Norse
runes all over it in the middle of a massive crater. Which means that SHIELD is
likely on it's way to confiscate it...and once they find out about tall, dumb and
blond they'll probably steal your research. I'll be sure to make copies of everything
once I'm done."

"What's SHIELD?" asked Darcy.

"Some UN organization that tries to end threats before they become threats to the
world. Once they find out about this idiot being here through unusual means they'll
be all over you three. The man who runs it is extremely paranoid. Fortunately they
can't touch my residence because of the spells I have on it, though I would enjoy
watching them try," said Harry evilly.

Once he finished his lunch, he went to work making duplicates of Jane's research.
He had already set his laptop on monitoring SHIELD last week and right now it
was a hotbed of activity. It would take them several hours to come down this far
and he planned to make their stay miserable at least.

Once he was done he left Jane's old laptop out with the virus she hated so much
dormant for the moment.

Jane had gotten a new one after he had infected her first with that virus, only to
discover that it could jump computers. She had kept the new laptop and left her old
one as a back-up in case her new one crashed.

And now it would be his trap for when SHIELD confiscated Jane's research. That
should be amusing to watch.

***

Harry woke up from his nap to find Thor outside.

He took a shot of migraine reliever, as he felt that this idiot would be getting on his
nerves very quickly.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"I want to know why Odin sent you to Earth in the form of a human. I can tell you
are my brother Loki, but at the same time you are not," he said flatly.

"I thought Odin made you human? How the hell can you possibly know if I am
Loki or just a wizard who happens to worship him?"

"I knew Loki best next to our mother. Despite the mortal shell you wear, I would
know him anywhere."

"Get in here. For the time being I will allow you into my house. Annoy me too
much and I will have the wards throw you out."

Thor went in, noting with surprise how big it was.

"Now what do you know of Loki? And what do you mean by mortal shell?" said
Harry flatly.

"Loki is my brother. The last I saw of him we had just come back from an ill-
advised trip to Jotunheim to demand answers for why they interrupted the
coronation ceremony. Father sent me down here as a lesson and took all my
powers...when I saw you I thought he had done the same," said Thor.

Harry raised an eyebrow.

"A few months ago I felt something being removed...a block of some type. Shortly
after I was able to bend steel. If what you say is true, then chances are that I am
also paying for something and have recently been released. However, that doesn't
mean that Loki and I are the same. I have no desire to see Asgard and frankly I find
you irritating beyond belief," said Harry.

"So you are Loki! I knew it!" said Thor happily.

"All signs point to the fact that I used to be Loki, and that I was sentenced to the
same lesson you are learning right now. However I have no intention of returning
to being Loki at the moment...I'm having far too much fun here on Earth to want to
go back."

"Fun?" Thor perked up.

Harry gave him a tooth-filled grin.

"I'm a magical lawyer...people pay me to get out of trouble and to make the lives of
others miserable. I'm well known to the minority groups with powers as the Viper,
and anyone caught on the wrong end of my bad mood is liable to get bitten," said
Harry.

"What is a lawyer?" asked Thor.

"Someone paid to talk people out of trouble after stupid stunts, or to defend them if
they are charged with something that wasn't their fault," said Harry. It was his
basic job description.
"Truly a job my brother would enjoy! We called him the Silvertongue for all the
times he got us out of trouble!" said Thor jovially.

Harry rolled his eyes.

"Now unless you have something you needed, would you mind leaving? Being
around such rampant stupidity gives me migraines," said Harry.

"Of course brother!"

"For the last time, I'm not Loki! My name is Harry!" he snapped.

"Of course...Harry," winked Thor.

"Gods he is such an idiot!" said Harry closing the door and locking it.

***
In Asgard...

"My Lord, Thor has found Loki's mortal self. I believe his memories are now
returning," said Heimdall.

"Good. What of Loki's mortal self?"

"...He was able to lift Mjolnir, though he did not keep it," said Heimdall.

Odin paused and looked at Heimdall in shock.

"Truly?"

"Harry Potter recognized the hammer and was able to lift it, though it appeared too
heavy for him to keep it. He also left spells so that no one unworthy could remove
it without consequences. Thor has also recognized Loki despite the fact that his
memories are more or less still sealed."

"What happened?"

"Loki not only beat Thor in combat, but he also incapacitated him with ease," said
Heimdall very amused.

"What magic did he use to accomplish such a feat?"

"No magic. He used some form of martial arts that no one on Asgard would use to
knock Thor on his ass."

Odin laughed, though it was a heavy sound. Perhaps Harry would give Thor the
kick in the right direction he needed.

It was too easy to call Loki's mortal self by another name...Harry Potter was like
him in many ways but his personality was almost completely different. Once Loki
was banished again perhaps Harry would retake his mantle as the God of Mischief.

It would have been interesting to see how Loki reacted to his mortal shell...and the
fact that Harry Potter was a known Loki worshipper. That headache alone would
have been worth seeing the look on his face.

***

Thor went into the area Harry had found his hammer, and tried to pick it up. Harry
could have told him that he wouldn't succeed, but the chance that the idiot would
be away from him for several hours had stilled his tongue.
Instead of dealing with his current headache, Harry decided to grab a dictionary
and look up synonyms for idiot. He would spend the better part of an hour coming
up with ways to insult Thor without letting the man know he was insulting him.

Ah, the fun of being a lawyer. You could mock people and they wouldn't even
realize what you called them until later.

Chapter 7

Harry was about to go get some lunch from the diner when his mobile rang.

Normally he would have ignored it, but in this case he had to answer it. The
ringtone said it all...someone had called his phone and it had been redirected
straight to his cell. And only a legitimate client could get in contact with him, since
he had no patience for telemarketers.

"Yes?"

"Is this Harry Potter, barrister extraordinaire?" asked the voice.

"I don't have patience for idle chit chat. What's the case and what fee are we
talking about here?" said Harry bluntly.

"The case is that the US Army is trying to take my suit, despite the fact I'm a
civilian contractor. And after the amount of damage you did to that secret society
kidnapping kids, I couldn't think of a better person to ask to tell the idiots in
Washington to bite me," said the possible client.

Harry's eyes narrowed. The US Army trying to confiscate a suit from a civilian
contractor? There was only one congressional hearing that this man could be
talking about.

"Is this Tony Stark?" he asked suspiciously.

Hearing the dead silence on the phone, he had evidently hit that nail on the head.

Harry looked at the clock. Judging by the time, it would take S.H.I.E.L.D. another
hour or so to try and confiscate Jane's equipment, and two hours after to find the
traps he had set for them.

He could spare half an hour to piss off the US government. It wasn't like he had
anything else as entertaining to do today, and Stark might give him a copy of the
video if he asked.

"I'm in, but I want a copy of the video so I can watch the looks on the senator's
faces later," he said.
"Deal."

Harry was out of New Mexico and in Washington before the breakfast rush.
Sometimes it paid to wake up early.

(Across the universe, every sentient being shuddered. Nothing good could possibly
come from an alliance between a lawyer Harry and Tony Stark in the mood to
prank someone. Especially once Tony learned of how Harry tended to play pranks
on Jane and the others when he was in a bad mood.)

***

"This hearing is now in session. For the record, why are you here Mr. Potter? I
thought you operated out of England only?" asked the Senator, eyes narrowing.

"Stark is my client at the moment," he replied smoothly. The viper pin on his lapel
made some of the less reputable senators shudder.

The Viper of England and Tony Stark together? This hearing wouldn't end as
easily as the idiot had hoped.
The man coughed, and started reading the charges.

Harry listened before he rolled his eyes. This was a farce and anyone who had
sense would acknowledge that.

Stark may have designed the concept behind the Iron Man while under contract,
but he had created the 'true' version after severing ties with the US Military. The
only reason he even had contacts with the Military is because half of the scientists
they hired under oath were lacking in the imagination department.

Anyone with any real intelligence stayed independent of the military and any
government. It may mean less cash and a bit more difficulty getting any restricted
materials, but the freedom more than made up for it.

There was a reason why he had never joined a law firm like half his classmates
once he graduated and passed the bar. If he couldn't talk his way out of a lawsuit
then he deserved to pay for it.

Watching Tony hijack the screens and show the 'attempts' to duplicate his suit,
Harry snorted.

"It seems to me that the only reason we are here, gentlemen, is because the US
military is angry at the fact Stark decided not to share his new toy with you.
Frankly I don't see why you are all complaining about the damn thing. Mr. Stark, if
you would please bring up the cost for one of these suits, even if it's outdated?"
Tony raised an eyebrow, but the amusement factor was most definitely there. He
obliged Harry's request, and several people stared at the cost of a single Iron Man
suit. It was more expensive than an aircraft carrier!

"As you can see gentlemen, I really don't see why you lot are so desperate to get
your hands on this armor. From the costs of the armor alone it's clear that it would
bankrupt the US to even make more than one or two, if that. And with the state of
the economy as it is, I seriously doubt that the citizens of this country would
appreciate higher taxes just because you had to have the latest thing in armor."

Hearing the grumbling behind them, he had hit that nail pretty much on the head.

"In fact, so long as Mr. Stark continues to at least give the military and local law
enforcement a hand with threats above their paygrade, I really see no reason why
you actually need to steal his designs."

"Stark is a menace and a child! That man shouldn't have something as dangerous as
that suit!" barked the senator behind this farce.

"Yes, but to be fair have you considered why he's even bothering to help you at
all? Why could Mr. Stark possibly receive from helping people who couldn't hope
to even own one of his products, let alone know who he is? He doesn't need the
fame, everyone knows his face. He had no need for money if he can afford to make
an entirely new suit with new upgrades. He doesn't need recognition from you lot if
he isn't part of the military. So what exactly is Stark getting out of keeping his suit
instead of giving it to you?" he asked bluntly.
The people behind them had a collective blink as they thought that statement over.
Harry had a valid point. What exactly did Stark get out of being a hero outside of
helping people? He didn't need the money, and if that expense report for even an
outdated suit was right it wasn't exactly cheap to make. He had no need for the
fame and he hadn't exactly gone back to being a playboy billionaire since
Afghanistan and his subsequent kidnapping.

Seeing the senator turn a shade of red he hadn't seen since Vernon found out that
he was being knighted personally by the Queen for forcing the magical society out
in the open through entirely legal means no one could actually put him in prison
for, Harry hid a self-satisfied smirk.

He had entirely too much fun with his actual day job. The fact Stark was paying
him good money to poke fun at these idiots was a bonus.

The hearing ended in Stark's favor, naturally, and Harry found himself with an
evil-grinning Stark.

"That was entirely too much fun," he said to his conspirator.

"I agree. It should be illegal to run rings around idiots like that," said Harry, letting
his smirk out.

"You up for free beer?"

"I would, but I want to see S.H.I.E.L.D.'s face when they realized I trapped all the
equipment they just 'confiscated' from a friend of mine. I wonder how that one-
eyed warhawk will look when he realizes what exactly those computers are trapped
with."

"You can't tempt me with something that funny and not tell me what you did!" said
Tony giddy.

"What do you know of the internet?" smirked Harry.

It took two seconds for that to hit Stark, and he started guffawing.

"You didn't!"

"The most depraved stuff you can imagine, and I don't even watch what I bug the
computers with. And the best part is that it's a special virus that their hackers can't
remove until after the video is over...and it will infect all their systems on the
network that the infected computer is tapped into or near. Jane nearly strangled me
after she bought a new laptop and found out that the virus had gotten into her new
system without me being near it."

Tony was having trouble breathing...he was laughing too hard.

"You have got to share the pictures of their face when they realize what you did!"

"Chances are you'll see Fury first. Do me a favor and have your A.I. friend take
pictures of his face when he realizes that you know the one responsible for that
trap. By the way, were you aware that your father had his hands on a special
energy that rivals the palladium core you're using, but won't kill you?"

"Do tell," he said.

"Try looking into his old work from around World War Two. The Arc reactor was
just the first step into the energy source he unlocked...and it might be in a place
you wouldn't expect," said Harry.

Seeing the speculative look on Tony's face, he knew he had just given the man the
biggest clue he could without telling him how he knew.

Harry got back in time to see Coulson swipe Jane's "book" though really it was a
list of things S.H.I.E.L.D. had done wrong when they seized her equipment and a
notice that if they weren't returned in less than perfect condition that he would be
suing them to hell and back.

He had made sure to warn the blond idiot that while they were taking the
equipment, they were also getting pranked. Heavily. And that he should let them
keep what they stole if only so they could get the full effect and that Jane hadn't
actually lost any of her work.

That along with the webcams set to go off at random intervals so that he could
watch their expressions of disgust meant he would be having a fun day.
***

Harry found himself approached by a less than amused Fury a day later. Using
Tony to deliver that message had been worth it. Tony had sent the look Fury had
shot him when he found out who had boobytrapped the computers they stole.

"I must say, I'm surprised you never agreed to join S.H.I.E.L.D. Mr. Potter. A man
with your talents would have endless possibilities."

"Not a chance in Helhiem. Do I look like an idiot to you? I prefer the freedom of
picking my cases," said Harry.

"I was talking about your combat potential actually, though that brings me to
another matter," said Fury, coughing awkwardly, "How do we remove those traps
you so helpfully left for my forces to stumble on?"

"Ask Jane. It was originally a joke on her, though it took her four tries to figure out
how to get out of them in less than five seconds. She finds them a nuisance more
than anything now, though Darcy and Erik usually just hit mute and wait for the
video to end before they exit out," said Harry cheerfully.

Fury made a point to talk to Ms. Foster, seeing as how Thor had already left
several hours ago.
Jane had looked at him bluntly and told him to either hire a magical or bribe Harry
with something he wanted. The only reason she had been able to figure out how to
get out of those traps was because she had promised to let him breath again after
the second one.

After that he gave her the easier to get out of ones.

Fury would try to strangle Harry shortly after finding his personal PDA infected by
the mystery virus that was driving his organization up the wall.

Harry made good use of illusions while Tony laughed his ass off while watching
the one-eyed war hawk try to kill his new best friend.

***

Harry found himself sitting with Tony at a race track. Apparently the billionaire
loved his wit and wanted to hire him full time.

Harry suggested putting him on retainer and letting Jane play with all the toys
Tony had access to in order to further her research. Then he met Darcy, and Pepper
showed exactly how good her aim was with a tablet they had lying around as she
threw it at his head.
She hit hard, but it was a damn good shot.

"So this idiot came up and tore the car you were in to pieces using some sort of
whip? Seriously?" said Harry incredulous.

"And he was using an arc reactor!" complained Tony.

"Talk about unoriginal. Well congratulations Tony, you have your first super
villain!" said Harry with a fake-serious amount of sincerity.

"You suck. And he knew about the poisoning!" whined Tony.

"Any luck tracking down Howard's last notes on an alternative to the Arc?"

"None, though I have narrowed it down to shortly after the war ended," said Tony
irritably.

"...He opened up the last Stark Expo after WWII right?" asked Harry, sipping his
scotch.

Tony blinked.

"You don't think...?"

"Worth a shot. Try looking at the Expo more closely. Howard doesn't seem to have
a love for the dramatic like you do after Captain America went missing," said
Harry. He had read Howard's bio. After Rogers went missing and he recovered
some sort of cube thing that was driving Harry up the wall with half-recovered
memories, he had developed the arc. An energy source which, as far as he could
tell, was unfinished at best.

"So you coming to my party later?"

"Have to, if only to keep you from making an ass of yourself. In case you haven't
noticed, your approval ratings among the average American has shot up after that
congressional hearing. The last thing you need is to slip into your old patterns of
behavior."

"Especially when I'm so close to finding that other energy you told me about.
Looking into dad's notes, he mentioned something about a Cube which the
HYDRA forces used to power their weapons...and last time I checked lasers
weren't invented until after World War Two," said Tony.

Talking to Harry had two effects. The first was that Tony had a new perspective
from the view of a man many considered the world's best lawyer. If it wasn't for
the fact that he was choosy about his cases, he would have been swamped by work.
He also took pity on people in hard times, which only endeared him to the
public...as was the fact that he had taken the case against Anti-Mutant
sympathizers for free.
With the recent revelation that Jean Grey was in fact a telepath, many were starting
to wonder if she had been talking to her cousin during the infamous hearing where
the Mutant Registration Act was shredded along with Senator Kelly's reputation.

The second was that he had a new, if snarky, perspective to look at things from.
Harry could care less about his money, fame or toys. He was in it for amusement's
sake than anything else. Tony could count him on the small list of people he could
honestly call friend, let alone his emergency contact list in case of his death.

He knew Harry would be there if he was in a coma, if only to berate him in his
rather sharp tongue on how much of an idiot he had been to get in that state.

Still, the fact was that Harry had given him something he had needed. Hope that he
would live to see fifty.

As it turned out, Harry immediately placed a hex on Tony to keep him from
drinking too much alcohol and replace it with water every time he got within a foot
of anything with any alcohol in it. When told what he had done, Pepper had
thanked him profusely.

Tony would have done more damage to his reputation if Harry hadn't stopped him
from getting so drunk that he considered putting on the Iron Man suit in the middle
of a birthday party.

Harry still lit into him for nearing doing something that could ruin all the work he
had put into keeping the suit out of military hands.
Chapter 8

Tony was looking at Harry's "house" if it could be called that.

"You live in a trailer. All that cash and you live in a trailer," he said incredulous.

He had been curious where the infamous Viper lived, and to say he was shocked
was an understatement.

"I can pack up and move at any time. Besides, it's a really good trailer," shrugged
Harry.

"It's a trailer. With a piece of junk like this you should be living in a trailer park!"
said Tony in disbelief.

"Wait till you see the inside."

Jane was waiting for them, and was promised two months free of trapped files if
she got this picture. She had agreed so fast he had nearly gotten whiplash.
Tony couldn't see why the infamous Viper lived in a trailer (and this fact had to be
emphasized in his head repeatedly) when he could easily afford a house.

The second he saw the inside, his face took a pole-axed expression. He vaguely
noted a camera going off repeatedly.

Harry was too busy laughing to properly enjoy this moment.

Finally he stepped outside, looked at the (rather dingy-looking) trailer completely,

before going back in.

"How?"

"Magic, of course. No one expects me to live in something this cheap looking, so

they never think to bother me. And seeing people have a Doctor Who moment
makes it entirely worth owning this place," said Harry cackling.

Jane coughed and he negligently waved over her.

"A vaccine. You are now trap free for two months," he said.

"I'll have the photos developed tomorrow," she said.

"Correction, three months," he said smirking.

Tony looked at the place like a cat in full curiosity mode.

"So you're a wizard. And you dragged your own people out into the new century
why?"

"Spite. Payback. Amusement. Take your pick. Idiots tried to turn me into their own
personal weapon."

"Seriously?"

"They left me in a hellhole where every house was the same, and my Aunt didn't
exactly like magic so she took out her jealousy of her younger sister on me. I got
my revenge though...when people found out I was her nephew, they started asking
some rather pointed questions about my childhood. Particularly why Petunia felt
the need to lie about the fact I was a useless good-for-nothing when anyone with a
brain and eyes knew that her son was the waste of space and not me. Then they
tried to maneuver me into fighting some nut job from the seventies who killed
several innocents because they were all too chicken to deal with the man
themselves, despite outnumbering him four-to-one."

"So do they really use wands?" he had to ask.

Harry smirked, and pulled out his true wand. The second he left England he had
snapped that holly and phoenix feather one and threw it in the trash. The one he
bought in Knockturn third year was so much easier to use.
Yggdrasil wood and the scales from what the man could only assume was from the
infamous World Serpent, seeing as how there were no dragons anywhere near that
area for several hundred years and it had come from a suspicious looking rock that
caused an earthquake after he had loosened the scale itself.

With the knowledge that yes, magic was in fact real and that his new best friend
was a magical, Tony was bursting with questions.

Harry simply pointed at the bookshelf, and brought out a helpful Latin dictionary
in case Tony got confused.

Fortunately Tony had been through enough legal nonsense to have a basic
understanding of the language (and had taken Spanish at one point) so it was
slightly less difficult for him to work through the books.

He had to comment on some of the weird as hell laws he kept coming across
though.

"Seriously?" he had to ask.

"Which one you on?" asked Harry.

"You get gold for declaring another family line insane. What sort of backwards
nonsense is this?" asked Tony incredulous.
"How did you think I funded those camps for first-generation magicals? I sure as
hell wasn't funding it out of my family vault! Plus the irony was too funny to
ignore," said Harry flatly.

"Seriously? So exactly how much did you get by declaring several of this terrorist's
sympathizers insane?"

He had wondered why Harry had only asked for the minimum payment for that
case.

Harry's smirk did not bode well for him. He pulled up his account with the gnomes
in Switzerland, who had an agreement with the Goblin clans and who actually
worked with muggles for years.

Tony's eyes bulged. His jaw was dropped.

"YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!"

"I had them convert all the gold I didn't use to fund those camps, which only cut
the funds I had from my cut by about a fifth by the way, into gold bullion. The
Malfoy family has been swindling people for nearly a century, and they found
rather... fertile... ground to steal gold from. I only claimed a fourth, and the Queen
allowed it since I was doing her a massive favor by exposing the idiots and giving
them a chance to rout the terrorists. I don't think her spies knew exactly how much
gold these people had been hoarding, and when they found out it was too late to
take any of it back," said Harry smugly.
Boy had those fools in charge of allocating taxes been pissed when they found
Harry had been three steps ahead of them and had moved all his gold to a country
they couldn't bully into giving some of it back. And his homes had all been
inherited for generations and the taxes paid on time, so they could get him that way
either.

To top it all off, he lived in another country in a trailer. The odds of them seeing
any of that gold anytime soon were next to nill.

"I would have to double check, but if I didn't know any better I would swear you're
actually richer than I am," said Tony stunned.

"You know you could exploit the same loophole several first gens have by
converting your cash into gold. I have a chart that gives you the optimal mundane-
to-gold conversion rate before it starts to become too noticeable," he offered.

Tony was rich enough to take advantage of it.

"Wouldn't I get caught?"

Harry snorted, before he realized Tony was being serious.

"The goblins are only just now getting the computer files into the machines. Wear
a good disguise and don't tell anyone you real name, and it would be decades at
least until someone figures out what happened. How the hell do you think I made
that much cash in the account?"
"I thought some of it came from the Malfoys and the others, or an inheritance."

"Only about five million in the Potter account, and the Malfoys only had like half a
billion, if that. I only got a quarter of their gold and I paid at least ten mill to get
those camps up and running for support in case I needed it. The rest I got by
helping the Gringotts Goblin clan wipe out some of their rivals by sucking their
gold supply dry. By the time the other goblins figured out what was going on, I
was laughing all the way to the bank with their gold bullion and the gnomes were
having parties over screwing over some of the more annoying clans," snorted
Harry.

The Gringotts goblins now owed him multiple favors and he was considered an
honorary goblin. All in exchange for being selective over which goblin bank he hit
to exploit the muggle cash-to-gold loophole he had noted.

On another note, in the magical communities the number of wizards and witches
converting to Loki's religion had shot up in proportion to the number of new toys
they found because he had forcibly dragged them out of the dark ages. He still had
a curse-on-sight order if he entered England or the Ministry though.

When he got most of his memories back (which would happen around the time he
finally met Loki inside a holding cell originally made for the Hulk) he would laugh
long and hard about the fact that he had tried to become King of earth through
force when all he had to do was convince people he was a better god than Thor
was.

Sure, Thor was a good hero, but a smart one he was not. And off Asgard, they
valued Loki's intelligence (once they found out that he had been reformed and
actually gave a damn about people) more than they liked Thor's rather irritating
habit of causing property damage. Especially when he fought the Hulk over who
was stronger of the two of them.

Of the two, only Loki was able to take out an enemy without causing massive
amounts of collateral damage that the average citizen would undoubtedly have to
pay for. So yes, they liked him better.

"But still, why a trailer?" asked Tony. That was one point he couldn't get rid of.

"I don't like visitors, and most people would at least look for a house. And like I
said, I can move anywhere I damn well please with just a car. Kinda hard to make
a man pay thousands in taxes when he lives in what appears to be a crappy trailer
and can talk his way into keeping other lawyers out," said Harry.

"Point. If not for my ego and the fact I'm super rich I would be asking you to do the
same thing for me," conceded Tony.

It would be rather difficult to force Harry to pay property taxes when A) he wasn't
a US citizen, but a Brit who simply lived there, and B) his residence appeared to be
a crappy trailer with a broken window.

It would take quite a bit to convince anyone that the place was really a mansion, or
that someone who was as successful as Harry 'Viper' Potter actually lived in a
dump like this. At most he would pay a thousand, tops, for taxes.
Plus it was fun to see the look on the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents faces when they realized
that yes, that dump really was his house. Needless to say Harry was a major fan of
the Doctor Who series and took great pleasure in being a madman in a box.

"Next thing you'll be telling me is that time-travel is possible," said Tony.

"How far back do you want to go?" countered Harry.

Standard time-turners handed out with minimal fuss was one hour. Harry had one
that went back by weeks instead of hours, and another for days.

Tony blinked and looked at him.

"You are joking right?" he said, almost pleading.

"We have hourly, daily and weekly. Once you hit weeks the magic starts to
become unstable, and not even the British were dumb enough to make ones that
could go past a year," said Harry.

"...Got any more scotch?" he asked, almost hopeful.

"Third liquor cabinet and it's sorted by year. Good stuff is hidden except for times
of extreme migraine relief," said Harry smirking.

"Smart."
"And keeps Jane from raiding my stash unless I'm feeling particularly merciful.
Should hear the words she knows after she found out that I can actually move this
space away from the trailer."

"You can?"

"This is actually a massively expanded box, the door just happens to be the same
size as the trailers."

And thanks to the fact it was spelled the same as a tent, which could be collapsed
without damaging anything, meant that Harry had a mansion he could plop
anywhere he damn well pleased and not have to pay a dime to boot.

He loved screwing people over.

"By the way, have you heard the rumors on the net about Hammer?"

"What rumors?"

"I might (he stressed the word) be privy to certain rumors that even Fury has
trouble getting his hands on."

"Like what?"
"Like that guy who used arc tech being replaced right before a bomb went off.
Unlike Fury, people don't need to be convinced I'm not a plant. They know I
honestly don't care about the cops. One of them mentioned the guy building a
whole bunch of fake Iron Men that don't need pilots."

"That...could be very bad."

"And it's being paid for by Hammer," continued.

"Screw bad, that's horrible! Hammer's rich enough to get the good stuff!" said
Tony.

"Didn't you give him a slot for the expo?"

"I was being sarcastic!" said Tony.

***

SilvertongueViper: any word on the rumor concerning Hammer and dead Russian?
Unknown: Russian not seen, but pet bird was picked up shortly after death.
Confirmation pending. Why do you care anyway?

SilvertongueViper: the second Stark hired me, he seems to have adopted me as

friend. Apparently we share a similar sense of humor...low and lower. And I don't
want to hear him whine if Hammer starts something and I knew about it.

Unknown: so...any chance that you could 'leak' some blackmail on Stark?

SilvertongueViper: If by blackmail you mean Stark being caught off guard by

Doctor Who tech, then I might have something.

Unknown: you're joking right?

SilvertongueViper: he found my house and his face turned poleaxed. I have

multiple pictures, including ones magicked for full effect.

Unknown: his face...turned poleaxed. I have to see this.

SilvertongueViper: so, about that confirmation...

Unknown: best I can do is that they hacked Stark's mainframe before AI took it
down. They have some files, but not enough to do any real damage. Heard
S.H.I.E.L.D. might make move during expo using agent.
SilvertongueViper: which one? Most of them are gun-happy idiots who only think
that shooting things works.

Unknown: how would you know?

SilvertongueViper: because Fury keeps trying to recruit me and I keep telling him
to stuff that infected PDA up his ass.

Unknown: … what do you mean infected?

SilvertongueViper: the idiot known as Coulson was stupid enough to take Foster's
work even though it was known that I was in the area. I left a note of all the things
he did wrong in a fake copy of her precious book and a legal notice saying if they
didn't hand it back in perfect condition I was going to sue. Though not before I
upgraded a certain virus that would infect all their servers...took them hours before
they found that particular surprise. mwahaha

Unknown: what sort of surprise?

SilvertongueViper: like I said...low and lower. Have to run.

Unknown logging off. SilvertongueViper logging off.

***

Natasha got off her computer. So he had been the one to leave that little prank on
their servers. Clint still hadn't stopped laughing when he found out what
happened...he hated tech.

"So what did the lawyer have to say?" asked Clint.

"He said to blame Coulson. Apparently he knew they would come so he left a
surprise on the doctor's computers for us. He also called S.H.I.E.L.D., and I quote,
full of gun-happy idiots," she said dryly.

Clint snorted. He had heard about the book that Coulson confiscated. And the fact
it had an actual notarized list of what they had done wrong. Fury had been pissed
as hell, especially once the virus hacked their security and started playing merry
hell with the new recruits.

Clint had no idea a human body could bend that way, and frankly he never wanted
to know. It was still funny...even if Coulson got chewed out when Fury found out
who brought in the virus in.
Chapter 9

Harry was present when it all went to hell in a handbasket. Both Tony and Harry
had been completely unaware that his friend Rody had used the commotion of
Tony's party to steal one of the outdated Iron Man suits, if only to get the people he
served under off his ass. The only reason Tony still considered him a friend was
because Rody had at least shown enough decency to wait until he was absolutely
positive that Tony really had been alright after Harry hit him with a rather nasty
vomiting hex as a distraction.

Tony couldn't very well be an idiot when he was too busy being sick, and Harry
had covered up the lie of him having a bit too much alcohol by 'accidentally'
hitting Tony in the stomach to activate the hex. He had apologized immediately
once the party was over and Tony had calmed down from his morbid state, but it
had been a fake one.

The second those robots started acting on someone other than Hammer's orders,
Harry started leveling actual curses at them.

His wand, to his everlasting shock, morphed inside his hand to become a staff with
a sharp end. It looked almost similar in origin to the one he had seen Loki use in
his memories.

He knew he was Loki. He just didn't care. What had once been his idol had become
a disillusioned past.
Loki Laufeyson was an arrogant, spiteful, petulant child. Not too dissimilar to
Draco Malfoy once Lucius had been taken out of the equation.

He was quite happy remaining Harry Potter Black, the Viper of the World's legal
system and advocate of the outcasts. Harry had infinitely more fun than Loki ever
had, and he wasn't shunned for it to boot.

Besides, Harry got to play with people almost as much as the faeries that once
lived among the mortal realms did.

He concentrated on killing the robots before they did too much damage. He wasn't
ashamed to be a magical...however when he displayed inhuman feats of strength at
least two hours after the start of this mess, he knew he could hide behind the fact
that he was no longer human.

That out to be fun to explain to Tony later.

***

"So spill...how in the hell did you bend that steel in the convention area to free
those people?" asked Tony a few days later, once his injuries had healed up a bit
and he forgave Rody for swiping his outdated suit.
"...I'm not entirely human. Haven't been since shortly before I went after
Dumbledore on the stand," admitted Harry.

"Why?"

"It all comes down to Loki, the Asgardian and adopted brother of the one called
Thor, pissing off Odin to the point where he banished him from Asgard and forced
him into a human form as punishment. So far I've seen up to the events leading to
Thor being temporarily banished until he learned some damn humility, but I have
no idea how Loki angered Odin to the point he couldn't talk his way out," said
Harry.

"So... your real name is actually Loki? As in the god you worship?" said Tony in
surprise.

"That sums it up. Apparently Odin felt my actions so far have earned me another
chance in Asgard, but frankly I'm not that interested."

"Why not?"

"Well for one, this is a culture of gods from the viking era. Those people
traditionally didn't like people being too smart. Plus there's the fact that Loki is still
active on Asgard and I really don't want to cause a paradox until I figure out how
he managed to piss off Odin. One of the biggest rules of time travel is that you
can't see yourself in the past, mostly because one of the two might attack the other.
Even that bossy twit Granger remembered that much."
"Seriously?"

"I think the real reason is so that the wizards had a more reasonable answer than to
try and understand what the word 'paradox' means. The mass majority of magicals
in Britain are sheep, so the idea that they would attack their double isn't a
ridiculous one," said Harry flatly, drinking his beer.

"So...exactly what does this mean?"

"It means that until I have an actual reason to return to Asgard I'm staying here. Or
until I finally meet Loki before he goes back. Somehow I get the feeling that won't
exactly end well for either party," said Harry.

"So you remember your past life and you have your powers...why aren't you in on
Fury's Avengers thing?"

"Because I'm not an idiot who'll dance to Fury's fife. And when he asks you the
same question about that steel rod being bent, you can tell him that when he finally
meets Thor's more intelligent brother then I might come to his precious
helicarrier."

"How do you know he'll come to me asking about that?"

Harry gave him a dry look.

"Because Coulson missed my house even though he was five feet from it, and if he
couldn't find it then there's no chance in Helhiem Fury will figure it out."

Which was entirely true, and Harry had a reason for this belief.

Every time Fury had found him, it was usually far away from his house, and if the
man could he would have tried to have one of his best agents infiltrate Harry's
home at least once. The fact he had yet to do so meant that his special charms were
working perfectly and that Fury had no idea that the decrepit trailer Coulson had
dismissed out of hand (he had been watching from the window with open
amusement) was in fact his home, and not a place he conveniently ducked into to
apparate to his actual house.

Tony conceded Harry's point. He had to head to a business meeting later anyway,
but talking to Harry was always fun. The man had such a snarky disposition and
Tony found his viper's tongue fun to listen to when it wasn't aimed at him.

***

Unknown: I heard you had an eventful time at Stark's expo

SilvertongueViper: oh?
Unknown: something about the infamous Viper bending a steel beam.

Harry immediately grew suspicious. So he decided to play a trick on Unknown. He

started quoting Lewis Carrol's poem from Through the Looking Glass, specifically
the one involving the Jabberwocky...in perfect Latin.

Unknown: why are you quoting Lewis Carrol?

SilvertongueViper: Hello Agent Romanov...or should I call you the Black Widow?

Unknown: …

SilvertongueViper: I thought it odd that you knew of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s attack on

Hammer or the fact that it was me who bent that bar...my face was under an
obscuring charm at the time and the only ones who knew was Tony and Fury once
Tony mentioned it. However the fact you knew what I was quoting only told me all
I needed. Very few people can translate Latin, let alone recognize the poem of the
Jabberwocky.

Unknown: perhaps I recognized the words Jabberwocky and Vorpal. Those don't
exactly translate very well in Latin

SilvertongueViper: Nice try, but only someone well versed in Latin would
recognize that I was specifically quoting Lewis Carrol's poem. So tell me, how did
Fury enjoy my ongoing prank with Jane?
Unknown: He's pissed as hell about the fact Coulson didn't think to check for a trap
before he accidentally infected our servers. I have to ask, why did you trap the
computers with such disgusting porn?

SilvertongueViper: I bet he's wondering how I bent that bar as well.

Unknown: he's not the only one.

SilvertongueViper: As far as I can tell, at some point in the very near future Thor's
much more intelligent brother Loki did something to piss off their father and he
decided the tried and true method of instilling some humility in him.

Unknown: you're Loki?

SilvertongueViper: I may have been in a previous life, but from what I've seen
Loki is a rather petulant child. I have no desire to become that petty to the point
where he unleashed Frost Giants from Jotunhiem just to insure Thor's special day
was ruined.

Unknown: why didn't you go back with Thor then?

SilvertongueViper: two reasons. One, I don't want to meet Loki and accidentally
cause a paradox, and two I really don't feel like it. Why should I return to Asgard if
I prefer causing havoc here and being paid to do it?
Unknown: Clint would love to meet you. He still hasn't stopped laughing at the
look on Phil's face when he found out why his computer was infected.

SilvertongueViper: Clint as in Clint Barton? I've heard of him...he's one of the rare
few agents of you lot I can respect. Not many would ignore the overdone gun and
bullets and go back to the basics

Well that and Harry distinctly remembered Loki doing something to take control of
the man.

Unknown: Clint will be happy to hear that. Any chance we could meet face-to-
face?

SilvertongueViper: absolutely. I'll even thrown in lunch, provided you don't try to
recruit me like Fury did. I was nearly turned into a weapon and a tool once, Agent
Romanov, I have no intention of it happening twice.

Unknown: fair enough. Just keep the Viper on a leash please.

***
Harry was waiting at a rather quaint, if slightly overpriced, restaurant when they
approached.

Clint Barton and Natasha Romanov...the Hawk and the Spider.

"Well, well, well...isn't this an interesting meeting? The hawk, the spider and the
viper," said Harry. Clint snorted in amusement.

"All the makings of a really bad joke," he said. He held out a hand, "Clint Barton."

"Harry 'Viper' Potter."

"Natasha Romanov, but you know me better as Unknown," said the red head.

"So...what's this about you being Loki?" asked Clint, trying to break the ice.

"From what little of his memories I've unlocked, he did something to royally anger
his adopted father Odin. And Odin, it seems, has a preferred punishment for
his...sons."

"Turning them into humans," said Natasha.

"Judging by what I've learned, he overshot Loki's body by several decades and put
him in an infant that hadn't even been born yet."
"So why haven't you gone back to wherever Thor came from yet?" asked Clint.

"Paradox and it's not that fun there. If you had a choice between mocking people
and being paid to do it, or being bored out of your mind in a place you hate, which
would you chose?" asked Harry.

"You get paid to mock people?" said Clint.

Harry grinned.

"What do you think a lawyer does for fun? Mocking people is half the reason why
I became a lawyer in the first place! You get to insult people like that senator and
the best part is that they can't do one thing about it," said Harry smirking.

Clint chuckled evilly.

"You like pranks?"

"I once set a bunch of garden snakes (who are total perverts) on some girls in the
school my cousin works at. What do you think?"

Clint grinned evilly.

***

A year. That was how long Harry had been left alone (more or less) by
S.H.I.E.L.D. outside of his chats with the Black Widow.

Then he got the call. Loki had shown up and stolen the Tesseract, the same Cube
that Howard Stark fished out of the ocean. And Clint had been taken as well.

"I'll be there in five minutes," said Harry. He apparated to Tony's little apartment
inside the Stark Tower and hitched a ride with the billionaire. He wasn't flying in
this weather.

"So you got the call too?" asked Tony on the Quinjet.

"It's Loki we're dealing with, and it's known I'm his mortal form. Of course I got
the call!" snarked Harry.

"I'm betting Fury will want to know where he is," said Tony.
"And I have no idea. While I've unlocked most of his memories, there are some
that are still under a heavy guard. I'll remember them as necessary, but some events
are locked," said Harry.

Fury was glaring at Harry, there was no other words for it.

"Fine," he sighed, before he waved his hand around the entire bridge, "You are
now trap free until this mess is over with. Happy?"

"Very," said Fury.

Harry saw Coulson and smirked.

"So how did it feel to have everyone hate you for bringing that trap onto the ship?"
he asked.

Coulson took a neutral look.

Tony snickered.

"That reminds me, Harry, this is yours," said Tony. He had a second briefcase with
the picture of a viper on it.

"So you actually made it?"

"Why not? After you managed to get the military to back off, I admit the idea
sounded interesting enough to try it," said Tony.

"What is that?" asked Fury.

"A flight-suit, more or less. Without the weapons system, though he did add an
AI," said Harry, accepting the briefcase.

"It also doubles as a regular briefcase in a pinch," shrugged Tony.

"And why would you ask Stark to make you a flight suit?" asked Natasha. She was
about to go retrieve Banner.

"Because if I have to stay in one more overcrowded plane I'll go nuts, or heaven
forbid fly another broom. People won't bat an eye if they see a flight suit. People
will think I'm outdated if I keep using that rickety stick to fly," said Harry flatly.

"Want to help me go get Banner? I would prefer the back-up, considering that alter
ego of his," asked Natasha hopefully. With Clint compromised, Harry was the
second best bet. Besides, she liked his snarky attitude.

"Sure. I can pay back Tony by helping convince Banner to come crash at his little
apartment," said Harry.
Tony gave him a thumbs up in thanks.

***

Banner was on edge after following that little girl into the house. Mostly because
she had run off as soon as he had gotten inside.

"Dr. Banner I presume?" said a male voice, with a cultured tone.

"If you're trying to capture the Hulk, I feel obligated to warn you that it's doomed
to failure," said Bruce.

"Hardly. If I needed that much muscle I would drag that idiot Thor back from
Asgard. No, we have need of Bruce Banner, noted expert on gamma radiation.
Some idiot has made off with a device that has a low amount of constant radiation
coming off it and we need your help to track it," said Harry, stepping out of the
shadows.

"We?"

Natasha came to stand next to him.

"At the moment I am forced to work with that gun-happy organization called
S.H.I.E.L.D., and my associate here has asked me to help convince you to come
with us. Coincidentally Stark has expressed an appreciation for how you turn into,
and I quote him on this, 'a giant green rage monster'. Fair warning, he seeks to
bamboozle you into staying in his penthouse suite in New York, since you're the
only one aside from me who speaks English, according to him," said Harry dryly.

"Wait a minute...aren't you the infamous Viper of the Courtrooms?" said Bruce,
finally recognizing the pin on his lapel.

"Guilty."

"So you have no interest in the Hulk. At all?" said Bruce.

"Not at the moment. If things came to a fight we might appreciate the muscle, but
right at this moment we need your assistance tracking down the Tesseract more
than we need something that needs anger management classes," said Harry dryly.

"I assume I'm being paid for this?" asked Bruce. He was a practical man at heart.

"Standard consultation fee, plus expenses," said Harry promptly.

"I'm in," said Bruce.

Natasha stared in disbelief. Harry was scarily good when it came to convincing
people.

"I swear someday you'll convince the birds that the sky isn't for flying with that
tongue of yours," she said to him.

"Give me time," said Harry chuckling darkly. Then he remembered something. He

waved his hand over Bruce.

"What was that?"

"A shield so you don't have to deal with my ongoing game with the gun-happy
idiots. Ask Fury or Coulson about the virus they got stuck with for taking
something that wasn't theirs," said Harry grinning.

Natasha snorted.

"Fury nearly shot Coulson for that," she said amused.

Chapter 10
"So Harry, how did that flight suit work out for you?" asked Tony when they
returned.

"Only you would find a legend about the Ouroboros and then make a flight suit out
of it," said Harry amused.

It had taken Harry some time to recognize where he had seen that winged snake
biting it's tail before, but once he had it had amused him greatly.

"So about Banner..."

"If you're that desperate to get him to visit you, you can convince him yourself.
However, from what I've seen he does tend to look better on people who aren't
afraid of Mr. I-need-anger-management-classes," said Harry dryly.

Tony snorted.

"At least he'll be better than dealing with Stars-and-Stripes. I swear Coulson has a
crush on the guy with the way his eyes light up around him," said Tony, waving
him off.

"He has the entire card set from his days on the stage," said Harry.
"I knew it!" said Tony triumphantly.

"Shall I hit the Captain with my favorite virus?" asked Harry grinning evilly.

Tony was snickering evilly.

"I dare you to make him watch that 'two girls one cup' video!" he begged.

"Consider it done," said Harry smirking.

***

Tony was howling when an hour later Steve Rogers started running for the nearest
bathroom. Apparently he had seen the video and there wasn't a trash can nearby.

"What did you do?" asked Bruce.

"Not me. Harry. I had him show Rogers that 'two girls one cup' video since he was
getting on my nerves while I waited for them to pick you up," said Tony
snickering.
Bruce's eyes widened before he winced.

"Remind me not to piss off Harry."

"Nah, you're one of those people who are too nice to feel his bite, unless you do
something really, really stupid."

"So he's never..."

"He's bitten me a few times with those fangs of his, but I can roll with the
punches," said Tony, "He once hit me with this hex that turned all the alcohol
within reach to water before he made it look like I had too much as a distraction."

"Why?"

"Because according to him, one midlife crisis was not an excuse for me to ruin all
the work he had put into restoring my reputation," answered Tony dryly.

The door opened, revealing Harry and Natasha.

"Look alive Stark, Loki's been spotted in Germany," said Natasha.

"I'll help Dr. Banner with his calculations while Tony goes to retrieve the spoiled
brat," said Harry.

Tony and Natasha choked back a laugh.

"Loki's a spoiled brat?" asked Bruce.

"That's right, you haven't been around him long enough to hear the truth. Harry's
actually Loki in human form. Apparently Loki did something to really piss off
Odin so he was turned into a human as punishment," said Tony.

"And he's not in a prison why?" asked Bruce. Fury didn't seem like someone who
would let a source of information go like that.

"Because he's Harry right now. From what little we've heard of Loki, he's more
interested in ruling Asgard and thinks humans are beneath him. Harry here is a
known advocate for the rights of humans with powers and has even defended
mutants without asking for anything in return. Plus he was given the chance to
return to Asgard when Thor showed up, but he decided to stay here instead," said
Tony.

"I prefer Earth because it's more fun. Do you have any idea how boring it is on
Asgard? Everyone there is a fight-happy nut and believe that humans are lower
beings because they're still evolving. I would rather watch humanity evolve than be
around the immortal bores that make up the majority of Asgard," said Harry with a
shrug.
Bruce blinked.

"You had a chance to return to Asgard and said no?"

"Sometime during the trial against magical Britain, Odin showed up and unlocked
the normal powers being an Asgardian gives you. He also broke off part of the seal
on Loki's memories. Apparently he believed that 'Loki' had finally earned his spot
back in the so-called Realm of the Gods. However what he didn't count on was the
fact that after seeing Loki's memories, I wanted no more part of Asgard."

"Why?"

"Loki was lied to his entire life. The entire reason he ruined Thor's ascension to
King was because he believed Odin was his father and that he had an equal right to
rule. Finding out that Odin wasn't his father, but in fact the one who rescued him
from being abandoned as a child was a devastating blow to his psyche. He did have
one thing right though... Thor is no where near ready to rule Asgard, despite all his
strength. Though if I were Loki I would have used a different method than bringing
Frost Giants to Asgard during the ceremony..." said Harry.

While Stark left to get his suit on, Natasha and Steve left to Germany.

"So...why are you a lawyer?"

"Something Magneto said during that Mutant Registration Act when Kelly was
still a senator. He asked me if I had given an interest in being a lawyer since he
figured out I was behind Jean's little speech. After thinking about it, I realized the
potential amusement of becoming one and that's how I got started. Then I realized I
was gathering a massive following from the people I helped and that added to my
fun."

"Wait...didn't I once hear you're a follower of Loki?" asked Bruce. It had been in
his biography that he had looked up.

"Was, right up until the moment I found out I am Loki. Still, I find it hilarious that
through my actions Loki now has a bigger following these days than Thor.
Especially in the magical communities," said Harry with mirth.

In England in particular, nearly everyone who studied magic was a follower of

Loki, or whatever their primary religion was. Fred and George found themselves
with a massive business, since they were Loki worshipers before he became
popular again. They recently started setting up shops in America to supply the
demand for Loki's "tributes", since Loki was also a trickster god.

Playing a prank in Loki's honor was much more socially acceptable to the people
than some of the other demands 'pagan' gods asked of their followers, and even the
die-hard Christians and Catholics found it hard to denounce a religion based on
harmless pranks and helping others.

Of course that didn't stop Petunia and Vernon Dursley, who had to leave Surrey
after people started questioning the 'tales' they gave out about Harry in his younger
years.

It was hard to equate the well-spoken and highly favored barrister who brought an
entire community out of the dark ages to the hoodlum they had called Harry
growing up. People started asking how they could lie about him so horribly, and it
wasn't long before their 'perfect' reputation was shattered.

The last Harry heard of them, Petunia was in the nut house and Vernon was in jail
after they found out he was embezzling from his company. Dudley was in the
worst prison imaginable after they found out that his parents had been using Harry
as a cover for his own crimes, some rather sickening.

The most telling of them being the dead and mutilated bodies of some of Mrs.
Figg's cats...she had been devastated.

"So if you're a lawyer how are you able to keep up with my calculations so easily?"

"Before I passed the bar exam I interned with Jane Foster. Half the reason why I
live in New Mexico is so I can help with her theories."

"And the other half?"

"To see the look on her face when she realizes that yes, I've trapped her computers
again."

"Trapped her..."

"You remember the comment about Coulson nearly getting shot because he
brought back a virus that shows the most depraved porn on the internet? That's my
work. I trapped Jane's equipment when the fool confiscated them, and by the time
he learned about the virus he had already infected S.H.I.E.L.D.'s computers with
the thing. I knew he was coming to take her work so I made him pay for it in
spades," said Harry with an evil chuckle.

"That...is evil. Any chance I could convince you to hit General Ross with it?"
asked Bruce hopefully.

"Is this the same general who keeps trying to track you down and turn you into a
lab rat because of the experiment?" asked Harry. He had read up on Dr. Banner on
the way to pick him up, and S.H.I.E.L.D. had quite the thorough background check
on him.

"Yes. Maybe he'll leave me be if he's too busy dealing with a computer virus," said
Bruce tiredly.

"Then I would be happy to help. Ruining someone's day is one of the bigger
reasons why I love Earth. Planting a computer virus isn't much fun when your
target is smart enough to delete it," said Harry with an evil laugh.

Plus it would be damn near impossible to hit Asgard with his favorite prank, since
they didn't know what the internet was, having long since passed that stage before
Loki was even born. And he couldn't get a signal from Earth to use in Asgard
either.

(One of the major reasons he even stayed on Earth was the internet...he was an
addict and didn't care.)
***

Tony was watching Loki like a hawk, trying to see whether he resembled one of
his best friends at all.

While the mannerisms were familiar, there was something lacking in Loki.

"What is it that you find so fascinating about me?" asked Loki to Tony.

Rogers had noticed Tony staring at Loki as well but couldn't figure out why. Thor
seemed to have an idea though.

"You'll find out soon enough. Not like I'll ruin his surprise," said Tony finally. He
decided to take a nap after being called out for staring at the 'god'.

Natasha decided to throw in her two cents.

"By the way Thor, Loki's got a bigger following than you do now," she said.

Thor blinked, then laughed openly.

"Not surprising since he has been rather active on Earth and I've still trying to
understand you humans," he said.

Tony's half asleep gaze landed on Loki's bewildered face and he had to hold back a
laugh. Oh he hoped Harry would let him record Loki's reaction to meeting him!

"Is there something Fury didn't tell me about Loki?" asked Rogers.

"You'll find out once he has a chance to go at him. I don't envy Loki one bit once
Viper finally has a chance to go at him."

"Viper...isn't that the name of the agent who helped you retrieve Dr. Banner?"

"Viper isn't affiliated with S.H.I.E.L.D., he's only here as a courtesy to us. He said,
and I'm quoting him on this, 'I'm not stupid enough to dance to Fury's fife just
because he's a paranoid son of a bitch'," said Natasha with mirth.

Tony was snorting with laughter now.

"So have you guys figured out how to get rid of his virus yet?" smirked Tony.

"Clint and I have a permanent vaccine from it, mostly because Viper actually likes
us and Clint tends to join him in pranks. Fury almost shot Coulson when he found
out why the mainframe was bugged," said Natasha.
"Jane has spoken vehemently about this 'virus'. She said that she would learn how
to use a gun if only to shoot Viper for it," said Thor with fondness.

"Sounds like a human I might actually like," said Loki.

He was really confused when Thor, Natasha and Tony failed to hold back a laugh
at the comment.

***

Harry was in the cafeteria getting more coffee when Loki was brought in and
passed by the lab. Natasha passed by him and smirked.

"You were right. Loki is a spoiled brat. You do realize that half of the carrier is
going to be watching his reaction to when he finds out who you are," she said.

"And I'm betting Tony will be recording it for later viewing," said Harry dryly.

"That would be my guess," she agreed.

"In that case, we might as well make a show of it. Do you mind if I take your form
and really surprise the brat?" asked Harry smirking. After seeing Loki face-to-face,
Natasha could see the god in Harry now.

"Go for it, but please, make sure you bring a camera in addition to that pin of
yours. I want front row seats to his expression," said Natasha.

Harry went two feet within Loki's staff, and the thing reacted to him.

He hadn't realized that the thing would notice him.

"Damn. Natasha, let me know when you're planning to 'interrogate' Loki will you?"
asked Harry.

"Will do. I take it you're going to have a nap?"

"I would switch off with Bruce or Tony, but with that thing reacting to me..."

"Why don't we just move it then?" asked Tony. He was exhausted and so was
Bruce.

Natasha waited until Harry was away from the room and in another corridor before
she picked up the staff and moved it to another location. Harry came in and
switched off with Tony so he could get some sleep in, and a few hours later Tony
swapped with Bruce. Harry had about three hours of sleep before Natasha woke
him up to take her place.

Chapter 11

Here it is, the long awaited meeting between Loki and Harry 'Viper' Potter! Harry
doesn't really pull any punches in this chapter! (BTW, there is an open poll on my
profile for who gets to be paired with the Viper. The options are : Darcy, Sif and
Natasha.)

***
"Well isn't this an honor," said Loki scathingly. He could sense Romanov's magical
signature behind him.

He didn't know why half the cameras in the room were now firmly trained on him
and his 'guest', but he put it down as a human thing.

"If it isn't the spoiled brat," replied 'Natasha'.

Loki twitched.

"Like I'm any better than a woman who's ledger is so stained with the blood of the
innocent that it's practically gushing with it," said Loki, "Barton was most
informative about your past."

Natasha twitched.

"And now I'm glad I switched places with little Miss Spider," said 'Natasha' as he
dropped the illusion.

Loki stared in shock. The man before him could have passed for his twin in
Asgard. His hair was held back by a hair tie in a neat ponytail, and his eyes were
nearly the same shade of green as his own.

"Harry 'Viper' Potter, at your service," he said mockingly, "For the current patron
god of the magical communities you are a sore disappointment, Loki of
Jotunhiem."
Loki quickly schooled the rage he felt.

"And how is it that you know of me, mortal?" he sneered.

"Odin's favorite punishment," he said cryptically.

It took Loki a few moments to process that statement.

"You must be joking. Odin would never be able to banish his wayward son to
Earth," sneered Loki.

"I must admit, when he broke off the seal on my memories, it took me a few
months to figure out what in Helheim was going on. But once I saw things from
you view I realized the truth. You are a monumental child, Loki. I mean really,
bringing the Jotuns to Asgard? Couldn't you have at least used some subtlety when
you pointed out Thor's faults to the king without obtaining the throne by default?
Baldur is a better ruler than you are now," said Harry flatly.

Loki flinched. How dare this mortal question his actions! He knew nothing of what
it was like on Asgard.

"And of course there's the fact that out of the entire palace, the only one who even
tried to understand you was Frigga. I will give her credit, she at least cared about
you. Odin should never have hidden your heritage from you for so long. He should
have had the decency to at least tell you the truth before that monumental disaster
that was Thor's coronation. And look at you now...cowering like a frightened child
because you couldn't handle the full brunt of the cold hard truth," said Harry, "You,
Loki of Asgard, are little more than a petulant spoiled brat that is mad because
daddy decided that his true son was a better heir than you."

"SHUT UP!" shouted Loki.

"And who can blame him? Asgard is primarily a warrior's society. They could
never understand one who's ability lies in magic more than strength of arms. No
matter how Odin tries to spin it, you never belonged in Asgard. The throne of
Asgard would have suited you ill, Loki. They never would have accepted you as
their king," continued Harry ruthlessly.

(Unseen by Harry, Thor had to be held back by Steve, Bruce and Tony. He didn't
like the way this was going.)

"You know nothing! I am a king!" shouted Loki.

Harry's sneer resembled his own far too much.

"A king? A king of brutes and fools who hid your true nature from you your entire
life? No, the throne of Asgard is not for you. It's little more than a child's dream, a
cry for attention from the man who raised you. You're so embittered by the fact
that Thor was the better son that you couldn't bear the truth! Look at you now
Loki! You're so wrapped up in being a king that you failed to notice the truth you
so desperately deny. You don't want to be king of those fools, you never did. All
you've ever wanted was acknowledgment from Odin, to have him proud of you as
he was of Thor!"
Loki looked like a broken man. Harry was well known as a viper for a very good
reason. Once he bit you, his poison stung hard and deep, and he rarely let go.

"Face facts Loki. You were raised a prince and never once saw the way the world
really works. Maybe if you had to actually work for that power of yours you might
have become a decent man, but now your mind is too far gone in petty jealously
and a child's dream to see the truth and realize that you never desired to be a king,"
said Harry, pity clear in his voice.

Loki collapsed on his knees. Hearing the truth in his own voice, in his own words,
hurt. Harry was more than just a viper in human form, he was Loki who saw the
world from a new perspective. Unlike Loki, he had grown up without all the
privileges and love a Prince received. He had been raised a pauper and treated like
a slave.

It had forced him to grow up before he was ready just to survive, and when that
was combined with Loki's memories, it caused an unusual reaction.

It forced Loki to see his actions from an outside observer, and realize what a child
he had been. Harry was a stronger man than Loki had been when Odin punished
him, and he was determined to at least make Loki see reason before the cycle
restarted.

Harry was planning to leave when Thor came in. He didn't look happy with Harry
at the moment. Seeing the hammer, Harry decided to give Loki's so called ambition
one final blow.
"Thor, could you hand me your hammer for a moment? I still need to remove the
spells I put on it," said Harry.

Thor blinked, then a light of understanding came into his eyes. Loki needed to see
that his actions had serious consequences. He removed the hammer from his belt
and handed it over to Harry without a word. Loki's eyes went wide when he
realized that his 'future' self was worthy enough to wield the hammer, when he had
been unable to even lift it. Harry removed the spells he placed on it, and handed it
back to Thor.

"A fine weapon, if a bit unwieldy for my tastes," he commented.

Harry left a broken Loki and concerned Thor in his wake.

***

"You don't pull any punches do you?" commented Tony an hour later.

"Loki was a child, so desperate for attention that he was willing to kill untold
innocents. It's pathetic," said Harry, still in a foul mood.
"Still, he's pretty shaken up after that," said Tony. He had angled the cameras away
from Thor and Loki to give them a semblance of privacy. From the look on Thor's
face when he left the cell, what Harry had said really shook Loki to the core. The
fact he was Loki, and still worthy of using Thor's hammer had really stung the 'god'
deep.

Tony decided to amuse Harry, if only to get rid of his bad mood.

"The gods must love stupid people, they made so many," said Tony suddenly.

Harry's eyes glinted. So he was going to play that game was he?

"Earth is the insane asylum of the universe," said Harry.

"Growing older is mandatory. Growing up is optional," said Tony.

"You should know, you never grew up," said Harry, "Children are the future. Be
afraid, be very afraid."

"The trouble with life is that there's no background music," said Tony.

Natasha had to jump in when she heard that.

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger

and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and
better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning," she said, eyes glinting in
amusement.

Harry smirked.

"Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool," he said, nodding towards a

passing Thor.

"Save the Earth, it's the only planet with chocolate," said Tony.

"You say I've lost my sanity. Well I have news for you. You can't lose what you
never had," said Harry.

That got all three of them to laugh.

***

Harry was taking a nap when a sudden explosion threw him from the stationary
cot. It had been Tony and Bruce's turn to work on the Tesseract energy, and Harry
had been reeling from a sudden influx of memories since he matched eyes with
Loki. Apparently coming that close to his past self had been enough to remove the
rest of the block.

Now he could remember what Loki had done to anger Odin to the point of
banishing from his original form, and what would happen next. At this point it was
a given that the cube would open a portal, the question was damage control.

Harry went straight to the bridge and told Fury he had better start clearing out a
fifteen mile radius around Stark's fancy tower, because that was where the
Tessaract was.

Fury managed to give off a 'bomb threat', saying someone had rigged Stark's fancy
new Arc Generator to blow and let the police start clearing out a twenty-five mile
radius away from it, before Clint knocked out a second engine.

Instead of caring about what happened to Clint, Harry went to the holding cell to
insure Coulson survived.

He couldn't have his second favorite target get killed by Loki after all.

Loki took one look at the one who saved Coulson from being impaled to death and
winced. He still remembered the full bite of Harry's venom. He vanished before
Thor could get his wits about him.

"You alright Phil?"

Coulson stared at him.

"Why did you save me?"

"And lose one of my favorite sources of entertainment?" smirked Harry.

"I swear, I don't know who's the real evil mastermind...you or your past self," said
Coulson.

"Why Phil, I didn't know you thought so highly of me!" said Harry with a false
tone of astonishment.

"I stand corrected...you are infinitely more evil than Loki is. Loki's a child...but
you're one of the meanest lawyers in the world," said Phil dryly.

***

It took the team an hour to recover enough for round two, during which Phil found
an interesting file on Harry.
He took one look at it and all but begged Fury to let him be the bearer of the bad
news. How this had slipped through the cracks during the purge of England's
magical communities was a mystery but the goblins were only now catching it.

Harry took one look at the printed document and paled.

"Is this legitimate?" he asked.

"It would take the goblins months to break it, during which time you would be
forced to live in England until they find a way to break it," said Phil gleefully.

"Right. I need to speak to Thor for a moment," said Harry horrified.

It was a marriage contract written up between Dumbledore and Mrs. Weasly to

Ginny. Harry hated Ginny and only got along with the older brothers (barring
Percy of course). He couldn't stand the youngest two. It was written from his
magical guardian to the legal guardian of the youngest of the Weasly brood. And
until it was sorted out, Harry would be forced to endure her presence.

No way was he dealing with the ginger brat and her harpy mother.

"What can I do for you Harry?" asked Thor.

"It seems I finally have a reason to leave Earth, if only temporarily. Apparently
something slipped through the cracks and I'll have to avoid the realm for a few
months until it's sorted out," said Harry.
"Oh?"

"Don't ask. As a result my distaste for England and certain people outweigh my
dislike for Odin and Asgard," said Harry.

"Father did say you had an open invitation to Asgard," said Thor.

"Good. I'll be staying there until this nonsense is sorted out. I am not returning to
England after the headaches I left behind," said Harry flatly.

***

Loki was waiting in New York, still feeling the sting of the Viper's bite. He hadn't
known that the name was more than a description, it was an open warning not to
piss off Harry.

Still, finding out what his future held in store was not a very comforting thing.
Becoming human was repugnant to him, since they were so weak compared to true
gods like him.
However, the Viper's words did ring a certain truth to Loki.

Out of the entire palace, the only person who had ever been there for him without
comparing him to Thor or Baldur was Frigga. She had been the one to teach him
how to cast magic while Thor learned the finer points of being a musclebound
idiot.

She alone had treated the two of them equally.

Perhaps he didn't hate her, but he still hated Odin for not telling him the truth.

Harry was giving Clint an upgrade for his weapons, specifically spells to do more
damage once he shot his arrows and an unlimited arsenal. He had worried Clint
would openly hate him because of what Loki had done to him, but Clint had used a
mild prank on him instead.

Clearly, the 'Avengers' thought the two completely different. They might openly
dislike Loki, but the Viper was a valued comrade and friend.

Harry got along with the Avengers, Loki was just a brat with a god complex.

Even Thor, when they talked about it later after the battle was won, said that if he
hadn't recognized Loki's magical signature first he wouldn't have mistaken Harry
for his cynical brother. Harry might be Loki in human form, but he was most
definitely not Loki in word or deed. Loki thought many of the lesser races beneath
him, Harry openly fought for their rights and freedoms.
If Thor had to chose between the two of them to be his brother, he would chose
Harry every time.

***

Deep in the recesses of Bruce Banner's mind, the Hulk watched and waited.

He alone had recognized the puny god he had beaten so badly that Loki hadn't been
able to stop Natasha from turning off the cube.

And had he been able to think past his rage and all the darker emotions Bruce
forced onto him out of fear, he would have been impressed with the brief staring
contest he had gotten in with the one called Viper.

Unlike anyone else, Harry hadn't treated him like a beast that needed to be chained.
He had acted as though the Hulk had full control of his mental faculties and had
pointed him in the direction of Thor, the only one who could fight Hulk and give
him a decent work out.

Hulk had taken the hint and sparred with Thor, who hadn't realized that he could
think past smashing everything.
Perhaps Harry could convince Bruce to let him out more often instead of every
time they needed muscle to deal with a problem.

Chapter 12

Sorry if I couldn't give a very humorous spin for the confrontation between Loki
and Harry, but I felt that Harry calling his childish self out on the fact that he was
only doing this to get Odin's attention fit the scene better. I hope the banter
between Natasha, Tony and Harry made up for it!

***

Harry braced himself while the plane damn near crashed onto the street. It took
him a moment to reorient himself with the ground...and to activate the suit Tony
had made for him.
He had a spell that made it much easier to haul around, and Tony had asked if he
could do the same for one of his suits. It would be nice to have them on hand in
case of the event like the one at the race track a year ago with the mad Russian.

Harry had agreed to enchant his armor once this nonsense was over with. He had
already looked up several spells to lace his armor with before, and apparently the
energy from the Arc powered chest piece Tony had keeping him alive was magic-
friendly enough that his suit could work with it.

Then again, Harry vividly remembered Loki's attempt to turn Stark against them,
only for it to fail because Tony's life was being sustained by the same energy that
the Tesseract used.

He also remembered the fact that the Chitauri weren't actually working for Loki,
but another force which sought to gain the attention of Loki's daughter Hel.
Thanos, the Mad Titan, was the true culprit behind Loki's sudden appearance in the
research base that the cube had been held at.

True, Loki was currently being used by the corrupted mind of Thanos...but he
wasn't exactly fighting for control either. He needed this banishment to grow up
past his petty jealousy.

Harry grinned as he heard the tones of ACDC blasting from Tony's suit. He liked
music as much as Tony did, so he decided to counter Tony's rock with something
he had become addicted to since he saw the movies. He blamed Darcy for dragging
him to the theater when it came out.
He started blaring one of the songs from Rio, specifically the one where Blue first
heard samba music. If he remembered right, it was called Hot Wings.

He was humming to the catchy music as he blasted another Chitauri with a wind
spell, sending it crashing into the one ahead of it. There were very few movies who
had any decent music that he would buy the soundtrack to.

He winced when he saw Thor using one of the nearby skyscrapers as a makeshift
lightning rod and fry the aliens come out. Didn't that idiot know that the conductors
on those things could only take so much before it fried the electronics in the
building?

And with the amount of constant electricity Thor was sending out, he had little
doubt that the idiot had fried everything with a chip in it that was unlucky enough
to be on.

Harry's face frowned in open annoyance. As one who used a laptop damn near
daily, he could empathize with the frustration those people would feel later when
this was over.

His magic crackled under his hand. Memories of Loki using the Casket of the
Jotuns against Heimdall came to mind for some reason. He wasn't one to ignore
such an idea.

His hand flashed before him, quick as a serpent's bite.

Ice magic flared in his body before it launched itself at the vehicle before him,
freezing the engines solid. It felt familiar, like an old friend come to greet him. He
wasn't about to ignore such an interesting power when it could be used for good.

He could feel Thor's shocked gaze at the sight of the power of the Frost Giants,
creatures he had been raised to believe were monsters, being used to defend
creatures Loki would call weak.

He knew of Loki's heritage...Odin had come clean on that front shortly after Loki
vanished...but this was the first real proof of that heritage.

His upbringing warred with his belief that Loki truly was his brother, before his
mind settled on an answer.

Harry was Loki, a Frost Giant raised as an Aesir. Where Loki's sarcastic and biting
comments came with a hint of condescension (and yes, Thor had noticed it),
Harry's tongue had a more of a fond exasperation to it. When Loki insulted you,
you knew that he felt that you were beneath him in so many ways. When Harry did
it, you could tell that he was openly irritated but not being cruel for cruelty's sake.

Thor shook his head. Even if Harry did get Loki's Frost Giant heritage along with
the Aesir one, he was still Thor's brother. Harry might have a different face and
slightly altered personality, but that much had never changed. For all his faults,
Thor loved Loki.
***

Harry landed on the parapet outside Tony's apartment. Inside Loki was in a great
deal of pain from the sound thrashing Hulk had just delivered him.

Loki noticed who had landed and openly groaned.

"Come to gloat have you?"

"Why would I gloat? You were openly being used by Thanos, and the portal will
soon be closed. In less than an hour, the Avengers will arrive and put you into
custody until we return to Asgard."

"We?" said Loki, not even bothering to get up.

"I may have a pest of a hanger-on that has somehow acquired a marriage contract
to my mortal form. I plan to hide in Asgard until it's broken," coughed Harry. Loki
chuckled briefly, before his pain made itself well known.

Harry cast a few healer's spells on Loki, relieving him of most of his pain.

Loki stared at him in surprise.

"Why did you heal me?" he asked in open confusion.

"You're already beaten. I find no pleasure in mocking someone when they are in
true pain. Contrary to what you may believe Loki, you are not a monster in the
form of an Aesir."

Loki laughed coldly.

"I am a monster. Why else would Odin cast me out that day?"

"Even now, you're still a child. Odin is a leader, but more than that he has trouble
seeing the bigger picture. He's so wrapped up in being a good king that he fails to
recognize the damage done by the smallest of things. When you were a child, who
was it that treated you like any other boy your age? Who was it that actually gave a
damn about your opinion? I know it wasn't Odin.

"Frigga..." whispered Loki.

"A mother's love knows no bounds, cannot be quantified in any measurement, and
is all encompassing. Despite how you feel now Loki, Frigga was your mother in
every way that actually mattered. Odin may have failed as your father, but Frigga
treated you more like her son."

Loki sighed. Even now, at the brink of his defeat, he could admit that his mortal
shell had a valid point. While Odin had always favored Thor above him in all the
ways that actually counted to a child, Frigga had genuinely cared. She had been the
one to teach him the ways of magic, who had given him his love of pranks.

"Odin...is a decent king, but a good father he is not," said Loki finally.

Harry nodded in agreement. Hearing the roar of the Tony fly past the room, he
helped Loki sit up.

"Would you like a memory that will actually cheer you up?" he asked.

"What memory would that be?"

"Thor having his ass handed to him for being an idiot," said Harry cheerfully.

Loki's laugh was a little less cynical.

"Now that I would pay to see!"

Harry grinned, before he channeled his magic into Loki.

Loki watched the first confrontation between Harry and Thor, and honestly
laughed at the sight of his musclebound 'brother' being thrown on his back before
being knocked out with the same element he wielded so carelessly. It was a small
bit of light in the darkness he knew was coming.
"Tell me, Viper...how bad was it? The banishment?"

"It was pretty irritating at first...but once we were taken to a magic school it got a
little better. Then when we left Britain things only kept going up. When Magneto
suggested I become a lawyer, a lot of things fell into place. Did you know humans
have a job where they pay people to get them out of trouble for the stupid stunts
they've pulled?"

"Truly?" said Loki grinning.

"They call such people 'lawyers'. It's basically the same thing we did every time
Thor got into trouble with Odin. They call me the Silvertongue Viper because of
the fact that I can smooth talk anyone out of the trouble they've caused, and people
actually thank me for it! The best part is when you twist their history against
them...humans are so tied up into their history that it's nearly impossible to go
around it. And because of our silver tongue, we have several magical societies who
openly ask for our favors instead of Thor!"

Loki's eyes were wide at that.

"People actually worship me over Thor?" he said in shock.

Harry chuckled.

"I was a follower of Loki before I found out that I was you, simply in a new form.
It was rather confusing for a while, but it made spreading your name among the
magicals that much easier... people enjoy it when their 'gods' give favorable results.
If Loki's 'favored' is responsible for bringing them into the modern era and giving
them so many new and fascinating things, then they will flock to you in droves. If
Loki, not Thor, was responsible for bringing an entire group of magicals out of
poverty and into homes, then they will worship you until the end of their days,"
said Harry.

It was kind of frightening how rabid some of his 'worshipers' were. If it wasn't for
the fact that "Loki" didn't demand ritual sacrifice, only a prank or two played every
month, he had little doubt it would be a cult by modern standards. As it was, the
religion of Loki was considered not only an acceptable one, but was openly
encouraged.

If Thor was favored by the mundane mortals, Loki was considered the god to go to
by the magicals.

Loki noticed the Avengers coming in, and knew that his time was up. Any chance
of escape would be hopeless, he was still in too much pain to move that fast.

"Any messages for after your banishment?" asked Harry lowly.

"Tell Frigga...no, tell my mother that I am sorry for all the heartache I caused her,"
he replied in the same tone.

***
In New Mexico...

Ginny Weasly was on a mission. She was to find Harry and bring him back to
England so they could be married. Her mother had the entire wedding planned,
despite the fact that they only recently were able to get the muggle government off
their backs about the fact that they technically couldn't afford their home.

Fred and George had helped out when they could...right up until the goblins found
that marriage contract. They couldn't drop their mother fast enough when they
heard about it. Now their names and their shop was considered as taboo in the
Weasly home as Percy was.

And Percy had flourished once given the chance with the new Ministry.

His anal-retentive habits had made him quite popular once he got his wand out of
his ass about the muggles.

There was another change. They were no longer allowed to call the muggles by
that name. It had to be mundanes or normals. Muggleborns were now called first
gen instead, and anyone caught calling them mudbloods were thrown in jail for
three days and heavily fined.
Ginny ignored the wards around Harry's home...she was a powerful witch and the
seventh daughter of a seventh daughter. Molly was just the only daughter to
survive the purge of Voldemort's reign.

She didn't bother to knock, but opened the door.

What greeted her was a sobering sight.

This wasn't a home...it had to be the place he apparated to his house in peace. The
window next to the bed was broken for Merlin's sake! She cast a repairing charm,
wondering how her Harry could live in such squalor with all the money he had
made off of the wizards in Europe.

It took her an hour to realize that her initial assumption was way off.

For one thing their wasn't even a trace of food, and the oven and burners didn't
even work! The bed had never been slept in, yet she had found Harry's magic on
the door. And the less said about the bathroom the better.

Her mind raced. How could Harry live in this piece of trash?

The answer hit her like Thor's thunderbolts.

He didn't. This was just a disguise for his real home. She cast a few revealing
charms, and it took her a moment to realize what they were telling her.
There was no fridge because it had been moved to make way for a large box that
neatly fit in the hole. This box was so big that it went from the floor to the ceiling
and since the fridge was right in front of the door and the cabinets above them
destroyed and fixed to leave room for the box itself.

She exited the trailer and realized what Harry had done.

He had used the trailer as a cover for his actual house, which clearly had been
enchanted much the way a magical tent was. Very clever, but then again that was
Harry. He hid behind a soft spoken boy until he revealed his viper's tongue...he had
everyone in Hogwarts fooled until the day he put Malfoy in his place and took full
control of Slytherin.

Which begged the question...where was Harry's actual house?

***

Harry shivered again.

"Why do I get the feeling one of those damn harpies has found their way to my
house?" he muttered. He had been feeling like something horrible had breached his
wards around his 'home' which was little more than a shell for his actual house.

Only a magical would recognize what he had done, and the fact that the trailer was
little more than a cover for a very large enchanted box that he lived in. Why the
Weaslys never considered applying the enchantments used in a magical tent to
their ramshackle home, he had no idea.

Loki looked at his mortal shell in open amusement.

With his impending banishment, Loki had found time much easier to deal with by
sharing his acid wit against Harry's viper tongue.

It wasn't uncommon to see the two trade barbs, or to see the Avengers watching
each ripost like one would a tennis match. Even Thor would have his head follow
who had said what with the fascination and thinly disguised horror one would give
a horrible train wreck.

It would be another three days before Tony and Selvig finished the container, and
it would be quite some time before Jane would even allow Thor to share her bed
after Harry had brought her to Tony's apartment one night so they could work on a
way for them to make a smaller bifrost.

He was not staying on Asgard for six months. He didn't care if that meant humans
would make their way to Asgard, he wanted a quick way to travel back and forth.
He had already found a way to get his phone and laptop to work on Asgard and
connect to Earth. He wasn't living without his internet addiction.

(Well, that and he was fully prepared to prank Phil Coulson should he dare to give
Thor a copy of the marriage contract that was forcing Harry to leave Earth in the
first place.)

Chapter 13

By the time Ginny Weasly located Harry Potter, he was already traveling by
Bifrost to Asgard.

Loki was unsurprised at the guards that were sent to keep him in check while they
went to the palace. Harry had already thrown on a disillusion charm since he didn't
want anyone to know of his existence just yet. Thor openly grinned when he
noticed Harry had his flight suit on and was flying ahead of them. With the charm
it would be impossible for the turrets to lock onto him, and Harry had openly said
he was not riding a bloody horse.

Harry watched as Loki was banished to Earth as an infant, and sent a small amount
of magic to comfort his past self. He would need it in the days to come. Once that
was done Odin address Harry directly.
He had already removed his flight suit the moment they reached the palace. Now
he just had to remove his charm.

Frigga gasped in surprise when she saw the near identical copy of her banished
son. The main difference was that Harry had actual warmth in his eyes instead of
the cold condescension that dominated Loki's gaze.

"Harry Potter. It is good that you've finally decided to grace these halls," said Odin.

"Not by choice, I assure you. While I must thank you for removing the blocks on
my powers and allowing me to regain my true memories, I am not exactly thrilled
to be back," said Harry.

Frigga wasn't the only one confused.

"I must admit my confusion. Have we met before?" she asked.

Harry turned to look at her, and she saw Loki in his eyes.

"Hello mother. It appears that unlike Thor, my mortal shell seems to have decided
to simply take on some of my characteristics instead of reverting back to my
original form," he said calmly.

"Loki? But you were just banished!" said Sif in open confusion.
"I was. Into the middle of a civil war between sorcerers I might add," he drawled,
"However Odin seems to believe I've redeemed myself enough that I was allowed
to regain my true memories."

Thor spoke up.

"Harry," he stressed the name, "Is the mortal form of Loki. However unlike my
brother he seems to understand that his silver tongue and powers are to be used in
the defense of others rather than for himself. He is considered a champion of the
outcasts and those that society would normally consider monsters."

"I'm known as the Viper for a reason you idiot. If it wasn't for the fact that fool of
mortal seeks to control me from beyond Helhiem's gates, I wouldn't have even
bothered returning at all," said Harry irritably.

Thor suddenly grinned.

"You mean because of this?" he said. He brought out a few sheets of printed paper
that Phil had so generously given him as blackmail material.

Harry swore under his breath, before he whipped out his phone and sent a text to
Clint. By this time tomorrow Phil would be a woman for the next month. A light
ping told him that the message was received.

"Blasted Coulson. I hope he enjoys squatting to use the loo for the next month,"
grumbled Harry.
"Tell me Harry Potter... Will you take Loki's title since he was banished?" asked
Odin.

"I'll take his place, since we are one and the same. The only difference is that Loki
was a monumental child and I at least acknowledge that being a Frost Giant's son
doesn't automatically make me a monster. Besides, unlike Loki I know for a fact
the mortals are more interesting than Aesir. For example..."

Thor only have a brief moment's warning from Harry's tone before Harry tossed
him and had him pinned. Sif and many other warriors stared in disbelief. Harry, no
Loki, was so slight! How had he tossed Thor of all people?!

"That, you lumbering oaf, is for bringing that thrice-cursed document with you!"
said Harry annoyed. Thor laughed openly.

***

It was a rather...awkward...dinner with the banishment of Loki and Harry taking

his place. Fortunately for all involved, Harry was more interested in the library
than dealing with anyone just yet.
It helped that he had gone directly to the kitchens instead of the tables, and that
Odin planned to announce what had happened officially in a few days.

Frigga had approached him once he had more or less settled into his old rooms.

"Come in," called Harry.

She entered, and noticed the slight changes in the room itself, for one thing, Harry
had organized the books according to subject and some were no longer being used
as coasters.

"Hello Frigga."

"I have to say, I'm surprised at the change in your personality Loki. Or do you
prefer Harry?" she asked.

"Either is fine, though I mostly go by Harry. I have seen Loki's life through
another's eyes, and I was sorely disappointed. He was such a monumental child,
though I find it hard to pin all the blame on him. Odin should have told him once
he was old enough about his real heritage the moment he was able to understand
things. Leaving it until the last possible moment, and during a time when his
identity was thrown into utter chaos...was a spectacular blunder on his part. Most
of that mess could be laid on him choosing that precise moment to reveal his true
heritage. It devastated Loki and made him believe he was a true monster," said
Harry.
Frigga looked upset and rightly so. Harry was unaware Odin was actually outside
the door listening in, though it was doubtful he would have actually cared.

"The family I was banished to were good people...however my mortal mother's

family weren't. For ten years after Lily and James were murdered by that sociopath
I was raised to believe I was a freak and treated like a slave just because of my
magic. However some of my memories of Loki did bleed through, tempering those
lies enough that I didn't turn out even worse than Loki did when he found out the
truth. Eventually I found an acceptable outlet for my frustration, and here we are
today."

If Frigga had been upset before, she was horrified now.

"Where are these...mortals...that raised you as such?" she asked.

Harry...no this was pure Loki...smirked.

"One is in the nut house, little more than a raving madwoman and her husband and
son are in the worst prison imaginable for their various crimes. For people who
claim to be 'normal' it was the harshest punishment the Queen of England could
give them once she learned of my upbringing before then. It helped that I fixed a
growing problem by forcing their magical society out into the open legally," he
said smugly.

That tempered Frigga's rage.

"I'm sorry you went through so much heartache."

"Once the memory block broke while I was getting my revenge on the buffoon
who engineered most of my suffering because of some fake prophecy, I was able to
put things into a better perspective. Loki will have a harder life, but I assure you he
will come out better for it once he finds an outlet for his energy. Did you know he's
now more popular than Thor is with the magicals of Midgard?" said Harry.

Frigga couldn't help her smile.

"I see that some things have not changed about you," she said warmly.

"It helps that the mortals actually have a job that puts my poisonous tongue to good
use. I am called a Viper because when I bite, my poison goes straight to the quick.
You should have seen Loki when I finally had a chance to chat with him. I actually
got him to think about his actions, though the fact I can actually lift the hammer
and he couldn't was a powerful blow to his ego," said Harry.

"Including allowing the Jotuns into Asgard?" she asked quietly.

Harry rolled his eyes.

"Loki was correct when he believed Thor wasn't ready to lead as King just yet,
particularly during a peaceful time such as the worlds had been at the time,
however his method was flawed. He should have been a bit more subtle and less
foolish by allowing the Frost Giants into the vault," said Harry flatly.

Frigga looked shocked at his assessment. That was borderline treason!

"Like I said, a different perspective. Thor was an arrogant braggart, as shown by
his actions after the Jotuns were killed. Loki never intended to take the throne, but
the shock of Thor's banishment and the sudden knowledge that he wasn't Odin's
real son caused that monumental mess that I will likely help in cleaning up later.
Loki only ever wanted Odin to be as proud of him as he was of Thor."

Frigga looked saddened. What Harry said was indeed true. Loki had always
wanted Odin's approval, but that had never happened.

"He did have a message for you though. One he never got the chance to say before
Odin banished him," said Harry.

"What message?"

"I'm sorry mother, for all the heartache I've caused you. Out of everyone in this
palace, you were the only one who truly cared for Loki as your own son," said
Harry.

"Thank you. It heartens me to know that in the end Loki was able to acknowledge
his faults," said Frigga.

"It probably helped that I pretty much bit his head off beforehand and made him
confront he cold hard truth that he was being a spoiled brat," chuckled Harry,
"Though it also helps Tony was kind enough to give me a copy of the video in the
room."
"Oh?"

"If you wish to see Loki properly chastised by himself, you can watch it later. I
have it on good authority that some of the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents have been watching
it from time to time for amusement...when I'm not busy trapping their systems with
horrifying videos of human depravity," chuckled Harry.

The best part was that Harry never watched the videos he trapped their computers
with...he just set his magical virus to find the things and force the computers to
drag it up in a separate tab on their browsers.

Frigga chuckled. Loki was still a prankster, he was just less cruel.

"I do believe Sif expressed an interest in...how did she put it? 'The stick putting
Thor in his place'," said Frigga.

"Oh she's going to love this... Whenever I become very bored on Midgard I learned
a new style of fighting. Very therapeutic. I do believe she will enjoy the ability to
throw Thor on his arse despite the fact he's bigger than she is," said Harry
gleefully.

"She might enjoy seeing that."

"I'm more interested in the reaction she'll have to the fact I actually listen to music
now when I fight. A habit I picked up from Tony," said Harry.
"Oh? What sort of music?"

Harry grinned.

"I think you might appreciate this particular brand of music... I believe the mortals
call it 'Celtic', or as close to it as you can get while speaking English..."

And so Harry and Frigga bonded all over again. As he suspected, Frigga became a
fan of Celtic music...it didn't hurt that the first song he played was from the movie
Brave, and it was the song that was written about the Queen and her errant
daughter reconnecting despite the fact that pride had gotten in the way.

(The song is Into the Open Air, in case you were wondering. Love it!)

***

Sif was confused. Harry (Viper) was Loki, and yet at the same time he wasn't. Loki
was an arrogant, cruel prankster who pretty much disliked everyone and barely
tolerated Thor.
Harry was someone who didn't give a damn about the Aesir's opinions of the fact
he was Loki given new form, or the shocked looks he garnered by openly beating
Thor frequently in the sparring ring using mortal combat techniques he picked up.
And when he used his verbal barbs, they were generally laced with tolerance and
occasionally cynical humor.

Thor honestly didn't see Harry as anything but Loki, and it showed. He took
Harry's insults with a grain of salt and never seemed to notice the times Harry
slapped him on the back of the head for doing something stupid.

Harry was a puzzle, one she didn't know whether she should crack or not.

"Are you going to quit skulking about wondering if you should confront me or are
you going to keep pretending you aren't curious as to why Loki suddenly became
tolerable?" deadpanned Harry with a snarky tone. Sif twitched towards her sword
on a reflex, mostly because he had snuck up behind her which she hated.

She turned to face the current Trickster god.

"I'm amazed you noticed I was observing you at all," she replied.

"Unlike Thor, I am not an idiot nor am I blind. Anyone who has spent more than a
few hours with you since Loki was banished and returned in a new body would
have seen you were dying to find out why I've changed and suddenly become
easier to be around," said Harry flatly.
Sif admitted his point. Despite all that had happened, Loki's wit was still the same,
even if the tone had changed. She didn't trust him though.

"I can see by the look on your face that you still don't trust this transformation, or if
Loki can be trusted because of what he's done."

"As you have said, you are very observant."

"It helps that I'm more or less paid to get idiots out of trouble and that observing
facial queues tends to make it easier to rip others apart. Nevertheless, the mortals
do have one thing right. Actions speak louder than words. I'll not waste my time
trying to convince you I can be trusted when you're naturally suspicious of Loki in
general."

Sif was really confused. This sounded like Loki, but he had a much more mature
outlook. The old Loki would have tried to slither into their good graces with half-
lies and promises that had more than they bargained for later.

Harry was not Loki. If he couldn't gain their trust through words, then he would let
his actions speak for him.

"If you truly want to get to know me, I do tend to practice some of the hand-to-
hand forms I picked up on Midgard in one of the abandoned training areas," said
Harry, leaving her standing there.

Sif watched him leave, her opinion of Harry already improving. He was different,
that one.
Chapter 14

Okay, since I've been getting questions as to whether Loki is coming back, the
answer to that is no. When Voldemort hit Loki's mortal shell with the killing curse,
he almost removed the soul of Harry Potter. The end result was that Loki, who
wasn't awake just yet, absorbed what remained of Harry's soul and they merged.
The current Harry is simply Loki forced to grow up as Harry without knowing who
he really was until Odin brought his powers back. Harry is more or less Loki with a
human's conscience. He has all the powers and abilities of an Asgardian, but with
the creativity and mindset of a human.

Also, the current lead for Harry/Loki's pairing is Sif, with Natasha a strong second.
I hope that clears a few things up.

Harry's first test with Sif and the Warrior's three came when news of unrest
reached them from the other realms. With the recently repaired Bifrost, Harry had
volunteered to join them in battle.

(He was very bored and Asgard wasn't that interesting to an Aesir who grew up
there.)
Harry not only helped Thor and worked together with him, but to the shock of
Thor's closest friends he used Mjolnir as a weapon...rather awkwardly because he
was unused to the hammer's weight, but there mere fact he was able to lift it at all
spoke volumes of his character.

Thor's beloved hammer was notorious for being very finicky about who it allowed
to wield it.

There was also the fact (to the bafflement of Sif who had noticed it in the first
place) that Harry was actually humming as he struck down the enemy.

When she asked Thor about it, he had laughed and said that it was something
Harry had picked up from being around Tony for too long. She had no idea that
Tony Stark had the habit of listening to music during fights to kill boredom. Harry
had picked that up because he had spent months since the infamous trial which got
the American government off Tony's case about the suit as one of his rare actual
friends.

Thor had to actually drag a grumbling Harry to the victory celebrations, mostly
because he knew that his brother would end up in the library if he didn't.

Harry didn't like spending time with the Asgardians. He felt that they were rather
boring as a people. They were so self-assured that they were superior that they had
grown complacent. There was a reason why he would rather be on Midgard,
Coulson's revenge for making him a woman with a well placed prank (via
Natasha's subtle dosing a cup of coffee) for an entire month notwithstanding.
Harry took Thor's no so subtle hints that he needed to loosen up with practiced
grace...he dealt with Tony regularly after all.

He traded half-hearted barbs with Thor, who didn't seem to mind.

Sif however, was observing Harry. Harry, who was Loki but not.

Thor openly admitted that while Harry was in fact his brother (mostly because he
was Loki in another form) he was not Loki entirely. Yet he still called him brother
despite that fact.

Sif did not trust him, if only because he had been Loki before he became Harry.

Though finding out he could use the hammer had done much to at least give him
the chance to prove he wasn't an evil bastard as his previous self was.

"I do believe Lady Sif has a crush on you, son," said Frigga in a tone mothers
everywhere used when they were openly amused by their children. She enjoyed the
fact that Harry allowed her to call him son openly, something Loki had been
unwilling to do a few years before Thor was to ascend to the throne instead of him.

"I believe it's less of a crush and more of a suspicion that I am merely trying to
worm my way into everyone's good graces before I betray everyone again," said
Harry dryly.

"Allow your mother a few moments of self delusion please," she said amused.
"I am many things, but delusional is not one of them. Loki was a child of the worst
sort, and he damaged quite a few bridges that I am only starting to repair. Tales of
me using Thor's hammer, inexpertly due to inexperience, but still using it, are
already circulating around Asgard. The more I act as part of Thor's group, the
higher the chance people will start to open up, or at least quit shunning me behind
my back," said Harry, "But, I will admit his spellwork was second to none on
Asgard."

He held up a hand to stall Frigga's denial of the truth.

"I am no stranger to being the subject of idle curiosity from sheep. And thanks to
the area I was banished in, I got plenty of practice learning to ignore their
muttering behind my back. I find it easier to tally the bad and come up with an
appropriate response later," said Harry flatly.

"Harry," sighed Frigga.

"I am called the Viper for a reason mother. A viper does not strike at the first barb,
but lies in wait for the perfect moment. If the comments do not stop when I prove I
am not the same man I was before, then they'll at least learn to keep their words to
themselves once I unleash the full brunt of my barbs on them. Loki got a very
strong taste of it on the helicarrier, and I heard from Fury that Thor had to be held
back by three others because he didn't like the fact I was giving Loki a taste of
cold, hard reality."

Frigga and Odin had watched the 'video' and had come out a little wiser. Harry had
struck hard and deep at Loki. It had hurt Odin to see his son so broken when
confronted by the truth in his own words and voice. It had also come as a nasty
reminder that even the king wasn't perfect, because he had come to realize that all
Loki had ever wanted was for him to show the same pride that he showed in Thor,
and in the end he never even got that much.

It was little wonder Harry had only come back to Asgard as the lesser of two
headaches. Or why he wasn't exactly a fan of Odin.

Harry was absolutely bored. Thor had left hours ago with his companions (he had
been sleeping at the time) and he had nothing to do. On Midgard he would at least
have something to occupy his time. Learning a new martial art, a new language,
some new magic.

But on Asgard they had quit trying to improve and it was dead boring.

Harry hated being so stagnated.

His eyes fell on his helmet, which held the majority of his A.I. (not JARVIS, but a
new one that Tony had affectionately called Gabriel after stumbling across a show
called Supernatural in which Loki was actually a rogue arch angel. He rather liked
it.) and an idea came to him.

He had seen the ships that most Asgardians used instead of private planes, and had
wondered why they didn't have a smaller version.

He was decently versed in technology, a by-product of being around Tony in

inventor mode too long, and it was more interesting than going into the library for
the umpteenth time.
Mind made up, Harry immediately dove into the numerous stacks of books to find
the blue prints for the original ships.

Frigga was amused at the state of her son's room. Where it had been all but
dominated by random books, it now held a cursing Harry and what appeared to be
parts from one of the glider ships that the guard used to get around when they
didn't use horses or walked.

"May I inquire as to what is on your mind?" she asked.

"Making it smaller. I hate the fact that Asgard is so assured of it's superiority that
they don't bother to invent anything new anymore," he said sourly.

Harry took his tool and started to put some of the parts together. However he found
himself with a stumbling block.

He was missing a part and the only thing that looked remotely similar was too
small to fit.

Hence why he was less than pleased at the moment. He didn't want the maids to
clean this up by mistake, and he had a process.

"I am curious why you haven't simply enlarged the piece you require," asked
Frigga.
Harry blinked. He looked tempted to bang his head against something.

"Damn wizard's stupidity must be catching..." he muttered. Snapping his fingers,

the piece enlarged to the correct size he needed. It fit almost perfectly and he found
the steering column working finally.

Now he needed to make it less bulky...he snapped his fingers again and the
mechanism shrunk to a much more manageable size. It could fit on a small board,
which had been his original intent.

Frigga had nothing better to do, so she located a free chair and piped in
occasionally when he looked like he needed advice. She was no creator by any
means, however this proved to be most interesting.

The old Loki wouldn't have considered creating something out of already existing
technology to kill boredom.

"So what exactly sparked this?" she asked.

"Personally I blame Stark. Anyone of reasonable intelligence and free time would
be inclined to make something new after several of his rather irritating invention
rants," said Harry offhandedly.

Frigga decided that if she ever met this Tony Stark (someone who Thor had
mentioned more than once and had clearly befriended her sons) she would thank
him for being so kind to Loki.
It took Harry the better part of a week, but eventually he had a working prototype
finished.

Thor, curious what his brother had been doing while he had been off killing things,
took one look at the device and shook his head amused. Tony had definitely rubbed
off on his brother more than he had believed. Then again he was the first human
Harry had genuinely called his best friend, well out of earshot of the raving idiot of
course. Jane was a good friend, but Harry and Tony tended to rub off on each other
without realizing it.

"So...who wants to test it out?" he asked smirking.

Thor backed away quickly. He trusted Harry, but he wasn't going to fly that thing.

"Coward," said Harry good naturedly.

Harry firmly put his foot on the board and carefully kicked the start lever. The
device hummed under his feet, but since he had spent the better part of four years
flying on a broom and occasionally doing insane stunts, he was used to such
things.

He carefully tested out the flying skateboard (as Tony would definitely call it once
he saw it, knowing him) he found it moved fine, but it was difficult to direct with
just his balance. He firmly kicked the accelerator, and the thing shot off like a
rocket.
The steering column, which he had pilfered from one of the ships being repaired
without anyone knowing, jerked up and flew to his waiting hand.

Harry wasn't an idiot. He knew better than to fly past a certain speed with only his
feet keeping him attached. Once the board hit a certain point the manual steering
'wheel' would spring up allowing for better control.

Considering the yelp from Thor and Frigga when he performed a rough Wronski
Feint, he had done too good a job. He made a somewhat smooth landing and had to
deal with a worried Frigga.

"It's bad enough Thor is reckless when he's flying! What in Helheim were you
thinking?" she chastised. Thor was enjoying this far too much.

"I'm thinking that I might have to tweak the steering. It's workable but the
movements are far too jerky," he said evenly. He planned to ask the people in
charge of repairing the current ships for advice.

Frigga didn't seem happy about that answer one bit.

"Don't tell me you plan to do that insane stunt again!" she said horrified.

An evil plan hatched in Harry's mind. One he had been dying to try ever since he
saw the interactions with Loki and Frigga. Having never experienced a mother's
love in Harry's body, he had savored all the instances he had felt as Loki. It was
why he had picked up on the fact she genuinely cared about him.
"What if I could prove I could handle such tricks without the use of a known
device or the flight suit?"

Frigga looked doubtful, though Thor seemed to pick up on the mischief he had in
mind.

"You wouldn't," he said grinning.

"Oh yes I would," he answered flatly.

"Do I want to know?" she asked.

"Probably not, though it will be infinitely entertaining for me and Thor later," said
Harry smirking.

Once he had some advice on how to improve his 'flying skateboard' from the
engineers, he decided a prank was in order.

He went through his things and found the improved broom that had taken the place
of the Firebolt four years ago. It was called the Cloudskimmer. It went twice as fast
as a Firebolt and had improved charms on it.

Harry had long since found out the basic spells used to make a broom fly, along
with the potion that was required.
Being obscenely rich by magical and mundane standards had it's perks.

Thor caught what was in Harry's hand and smirked. He had seen him fly once
before, back before he had regained his powers and it had openly amused him that
Loki, who had disliked flying because he had associated it with past experiences
involving Thor and a few bad pranks, was now an open lover of the art.

Thor wasn't a fan of brooms though. Mostly because the one time Harry had let
him try flying that way he had felt his manhood bounce the wrong way and caused
him to be in immense pain for hours after.

Darcy had laughed herself sick when she found out what happened.

"What are those?"

"Simple prank potions that will only last for an hour. I intend to get a little payback
for the idiots who've been badmouthing me ever since I came back. It won't harm
them, but it will embarrass them rather badly," said Harry.

"How badly?"

"Let's just say the Son of Coul wasn't the first victim of a gender switching prank
and leave it at that."

Thor laughed at the idea.

Odin was concerned about the yelling he heard, and the fact Harry hadn't been seen
for hours. There was also the fact Thor was far too amused and seemed to be in on
what he could only assume was a prank.

Finally he located his eldest son and demanded an explanation. Thor simply
pointed up and Odin blinked in disbelief.

There, riding what appeared to be a broomstick, was Harry. And he was armed
with what looked like odd potions.

"Dare I ask?"

"Payback. Not everyone is as accepting as I or mother about Loki's sudden return

and change of heart, and he was bored enough to brew minor prank potions. He's
simply teaching those who have been speaking ill against him a small lesson in
'learning to keep their mouths shut' according to him."

"And the broom?" asked Odin.

"Apparently the Midgard sorcerers have found a way to enchant brooms to fly
with. He was introduced to the idea while he was mortal, and found that he rather
liked it. When he regained his memories it managed to undo the dislike he had
gained as Loki for the art."

"What is it like?"
"Interesting, though I would swear to Valhalla and back that I will never use it as a
mode of transport and that riding a bucking horse is less painful," said Thor
wincing.

Odin gave him a look.

Harry, having overheard that comment, floated down long enough to explain with
an evil smirk.

"Thor was unlucky enough to catch a bit of turbulence and since he was unused to
flying via a broom it landed in a particularly painful area. Idiot should have stayed
below the cloud line like I warned him."

"I am well accustomed to flying!" said Thor hotly.

"Flying with that hammer of yours, not with a broom. You need a gentle touch to
truly master broom flight, and you damn near brained yourself when you attempted
to regain control and almost broke the broom I lent you," said Harry smugly...then
he added "And that's not counting the sheer pain you were in when the next bout of
turbulence caused the broom itself to buck under you and hit your balls in the most
painful way it could."

"We agreed never to speak of that again!" said Thor.

"No, you asked that we never speak of it again after Darcy was through laughing
her ass off. I never agreed to keep my silence on the matter," said Harry smirking.
Odin was chuckling at the story.

Chapter 15

Harry was about ready to start jumping off the walls from boredom. Creating
something new was great and all, but not when people didn't care. It was
frustrating, trying to make new things in a warrior society.

Frigga tried to help, she really did, but the sad fact was that Harry never fit into
Asgard. He was the scholar, the inventor. He was a thinker, not a doer like Thor.

And he was slowly being driven insane from boredom and the fact that no one in
Asgard trusted him. Only Thor did, and he couldn't change the way people felt
about Loki...especially now that the truth of his heritage had come out. If Loki had
been disliked and outright ignored before, it was nothing to the subtle backstabbing
that was going on now.

Finally Harry had enough. He couldn't take one more minute of hearing people
speak ill about him behind his back, and he knew they did.
There was a reason why people called Loki a shape shifter.

Harry pulled Thor aside one night and told him bluntly "I'm leaving Asgard. And I
don't believe I will return for anything short of all out war."

"Brother, if this is about the rumors..."

"It's not just the rumors that people have been spreading. I just don't fit in Asgard, I
never have. And as much as I love you and Frigga, it might be better if I went back
to Midgard. And let's face it, my work as a lawyer is taking a serious hit while I'm
here."

"What of that contract?"

"Contract became null and void the minute Odin reinstated me as Loki. Mortals
can't marry into our family without Odin's approval, which she'll never get."

Especially after he spoke so vehemently about what a stalker she was, and how
much of a harpy her mother became. Harry had no interest in Ginerva Weasly and
he never would.

"I will miss you brother."

"I'll still come to visit. I just feel more comfortable in Midgard, where my talents
are actually appreciated. Besides, Tony's offered to let me crash in his Tower
provided I become his new magical guinea pig, and I've been eager to show him
that flying board of mine," said Harry with a grin.

Harry packed his 'box' and turned into a large bird. He had lost none of his shape
shifting ability since he became Harry. He flew through the old paths to Midgard,
so he could surprise Tony.

It took him half an hour to reach Earth, but once he did he felt something that had
been missing in Asgard.

It felt like...home.

***

Tony looked out the penthouse window and saw a large crow on one of the
recently fixed glass walls.

"Shoo!" he said. The bird flew off, but when he turned he heard a voice he wasn't
expecting.
"Now is that any way to treat an old friend?"

"Harry! Thought you were in Asgard."

"It bored me to tears. Literally. If I stayed there another week I would have gone
raving mad and likely allowed my old self to come through just to relieve the
monotony."

"That bad?"

"You have no idea. I was so bored I even revamped an old transport... I brought it
with me, but I haven't come up with a name for it."

"It's a flying skateboard," said Tony when Harry brought it out.

"Like I said, no idea what to call this thing. Nearly gave Frigga a heart attack
performing a few aerial stunts."

"Well if you had the time to make this, why didn't you just stick around and make
something else?"

"Do you know what Asgard is full of?" asked Harry dryly.
"Not a clue."

"Think of Asgard like a high school, if you will. One where the jock is considered
the absolute king on campus and where the nerds are belittled and ostracized."

"Sounds like regular high school," said Tony.

"Thor would be the equivalent of the football captain and the king of the heap,
whereas I'm..." said Harry, trying and failing to find a decent analogy.

"Whereas you were the chess captain and the head of the computer club,"
suggested Tony.

"More or less. Now imagine a high school that is run by testosterone filled morons
who seem to think I wouldn't overhear them belittling me behind my back and you
see why I couldn't stand another minute of it. Frankly I would have more
enjoyment banging my head against the wall than sticking around," said Harry
dryly.

"Well you and your 'box' (Tony made finger quotes) are always welcome here.
Besides, we could use an extra head to help us blow things up."

Harry grinned.

"It's good to be home," he said pleased.

***

Natasha was bored, and not looking forward to another dull Saturday night when
she spotted a familiar face.

"Harry?"

"Natasha," he said from the couch, his head buried in a copy of Macbeth.

"When did you get back?"

"Yesterday afternoon. I couldn't stand another second of those idiots who can't
appreciate innovation. And Asgard is quite dull when you're raised there and had
already explored almost every inch of the interesting places," said Harry dryly. It
was hard to be interested in a place you knew intimately after all.

"I can see that. Is that a hovering skateboard?" she asked, noticing what he was
sitting on.
"Boredom is abhorrent to me, so I threw something together from spare parts. No
one gave it any thought, which only cemented my desire to leave," said Harry
irritably.

Harry might not admit it openly, but he did enjoy a little appreciation for his work.
Having the Asgardians dismiss his new invention had been all the reason he
needed to leave.

"So did you ever take Clint out on a date?"

Natasha made a face.

"Clint and I are partners, nothing more. You're worse than Phil was after he
realized I was the one to help you two chuckle-heads dose his
drink...coincidentally I have your half of the blackmail photos," said Natasha.

Harry's grin was predatory.

"Sweet. Coincidentally do you have any plans for tonight? Tony and Pepper are
out, Bruce is holed up in the lab and I've been forbidden from even touching the
liquor cabinet after I hit it with a spell to switch all the brands around without
moving the bottles. And since I left Asgard because I was bored to tears, you can
see why I don't exactly want to stick around without anything to do," said Harry.

Natasha thought about it for exactly six seconds.

"Nothing at all. But just so we're clear, this is not a date."

"Of course not. If it were I would have to deal with Frigga later," said Harry.

"I'll go get ready then."

Natasha came out in this nice red and black outfit that would have most men either
drooling or feeling distinctly underdressed. For Harry, it did nothing aside from
make him glad that he had booked a table at a nice restaurant.

"So where to first?" she asked.

"How do you feel about Italian?"

Natasha blinked and they were in Italy.

"How..."

"Mortals may have apparition, but that's just a sloppier way of the old art...and
since I regain my memories as Loki we can skip the entire sucked-through-a-straw
feeling apparition has," said Harry dryly...before he added "Besides this will drive
Fury up the wall trying to keep track of us all night. I know for a fact Tony hasn't
told him I'm back yet."

Natasha chuckled.
"Phil has sworn to spike your morning coffee when you came back. He still hasn't
forgiven you for the 'Philomena' incident," said Natasha.

"Is that what they're calling Phil's inner feminine side? Who came up with that?"

"Clint."

"I'll have to make him a special perch. That is absolutely hilarious," said Harry
smirking.

The two traded witty banter through most of the meal, and Natasha wouldn't
hesitate to admit this was the best time she had in a while. Harry wasn't some target
she had to hide from, and he already knew her past and didn't give a damn.

And unlike Clint, there wasn't that annoying age issue. Most men couldn't handle
she was actually old enough to be their mother or grandmother without having
problems. Clint could ignore it and treated her like a colleague, but there was
always something that kept them from being more than good friends.

With Harry, that barrier wasn't there. At all.

After they had dinner, Harry let her pick the next destination.
Contrary to her nature, Natasha rather liked the opera. He took her to see Les
Miserables in Venice.

When they returned, they found an amused Tony waiting for them.

"You kids have a nice date?"

"I wouldn't call it a date Tony. More like a friend's night out since we haven't seen
each other in a few months," said Harry dryly...before he snapped his fingers and
something invisible hit the liquor cabinet.

Tony, when he reached in to get a nice aged scotch, found out the hard way that the
entire cabinet had been replaced with rather cheap diet soda. He was appalled.

"We should do that again sometime," said Natasha as they left Tony to find out
which ones had been switched.

"Absolutely. You're the most interesting woman I've dealt with in months," said
Harry.

"Really? What about that one that showed up, Sif I think her name was?" asked
Natasha in honest surprise.

Harry grimaced.
"Sif is very firmly on the Thor bandwagon, and frankly she's never trusted me even
after I became Harry. If she even thought I might slip back into my old patterns of
behavior she wouldn't hesitate to try and kill me to protect Thor. She's very much a
warrior woman, and I left Asgard to get away from people like that," said Harry.

"And what about this Ginerva Weasly that showed up shortly before you left?"

"Her mother is a damn harpy and that contract became null and void the minute
Odin reinstated me as Loki. The fact I prefer my mortal form to the one they were
used to was a moot point."

Natasha didn't know what to think of Harry. He was a real enigma, one she
wouldn't mind learning more about.

Besides, she hadn't had a real date in months and he was a better person than she
usually ended up with.

***

Harry and Natasha went out a few more times and finally went out on a real date.
Fury had been less than happy to learn Harry had been back for all of a month and
no one had told him.
Phil had been quick to shoot him in the ass. It was worth filing a report on why he
had discharged his weapon on a known civilian just to get Harry back for the
whole gender-swap prank.

"So...you two are dating now?" asked Clint.

Harry looked at his friend with a raised eyebrow.

"What's up Clint?"

"Nothing much. But I came back from assignment to hear that you and Nat are
dating. Even Tony seems to think it's true."

"We went out on a couple of dates. Did you know Natalie likes the opera?" he said
in amusement. If he didn't know any better he would swear Clint was actually
jealous.

"Just...try to avoid breaking her heart alright?" said Clint finally.

"Clint, do I look suicidal to you?" deadpanned Harry, putting down his book.

Clint let out a bark of laughter. Trust Harry to diffuse the situation with a joke like
that.
***

Harry was in a bad mood. Recently he had started to get a larger workload because
he was considered the go-to lawyer for superheroes. The problem was that he was
having trouble keeping up with the case load.

So he started on a hunt for someone to help share the workload.

"Let's see... huh, here's an odd one. Good work ethic, isn't motivated by money...
never met a blind lawyer before. This Matt Murdock might be worth looking into."

Harry decided to at least meet the man in his own territory to avoid any
misunderstandings.

He took a cab to the place many called Hell's Kitchen and was in his plain clothes
for a change.

Actually it was more along the lines of he borrowed some of Tony's spare outfits,
because he rarely wore a t-shirt and jeans.
***

Matt Murdock looked up. He could feel a faint thrum of power coming towards
him, and it sent all of his heightened senses off.

When it entered his door, he became very glad that his partner was currently out
sick with the flu.

"I hope I came to the right place. This is the law office of Matt Murdock is it not?"

"It is," he said, turning his chair to face the voice. He might not have his sight, but
he could still tell where the speaker was coming from.

"Oh good. I came here mostly out of curiosity and the hopes of making a business
proposition," said the voice.

"And you are?"

"My apologies. My name is Harry Potter, but you might know me better as the
Viper."
Matt blinked. Why was the infamous and rather rich Viper of the Courts in his
office?

If he could see the grin on Harry's face, he might have been more worried about
how he was going to explain this to his own partner.

***

One week later...

"So Matt, anything interesting happen while I was sick?"

"Nothing much..." said Matt, waiting for his friend to take a drink before he added
"Outside of the Viper showing up with a business proposition."

Matt grinned with his back turned to his friend as he spewed his water across the
desk and started coughing.

"Excuse me, did you just say the Viper, the most successful and snarky lawyer in
the world came to our office?!"
"Apparently the number of superheroes in need of a good legal council has jumped
to the point he needed help. I was the first one he decided to ask," said Matt.

"Please tell me you said yes!"

"He made a convincing argument. He's also agreed to help clear out some of the
worst offenders here in exchange for me helping him keep the supers from getting
into too much trouble," said Matt.

Actually Harry had offered to see if they couldn't restore Matt's sight using magic,
since his nerves had literally been fried by a chemical spill when he was a child. In
exchange for Matt helping him out, he would also help him clear out the worst
scumbags working for the Kingpin by making sure they couldn't talk themselves
out of a prison sentence.

Matt had lost track the number of creeps he had to visit as his alter ego the
Daredevil simply because the monsters had a smooth talking lawyer on their side.
The thought of their shock when the Viper paid a visit to help put them behind bars
where they truly belonged had been almost as tempting as the chance to see again.

Matt considered that one of the best deals he had ever made.
Chapter 16

Harry and Matt managed to diffuse most of the outcry against superheroes within a
matter of weeks. They worked together on a case-by-case basis, and Matt found
that Harry was only snarky when he felt he was about to deal with idiots...like his
brother Thor for example or the majority of the US Congress.

Harry put up with Matt's rather foolish partner, mostly because while the man was
a bit of a naïve idiot he was also the only one who had been brave enough to
partner with a now former blind man.

Matt had a special pair of glasses that transmitted images directly into the sensory
organs of his brain, so for the first time in years he could actually see.

Because they bypassed the eyes, Matt still had his super-sensory abilities...and he
had confided in Harry that he was in fact the Daredevil.

Harry hadn't cared one whit about his super identity, only with his ability to handle
case work without leaving the bulk of the workload on him.

So when Matt called him in to deal with a rape charge against one of the Kingpin's
worst offenders, Harry was there in a heartbeat.
***

Matt was loving this new partnership. The look on the defendant's face when they
realized who the man hiding behind the rather dorky looking glasses was... well if
he wasn't busy enjoying their expressions he would have been laughing.

Harry however was chuckling evilly as the defendant's legal team all but pissed
themselves when they realized who he was. The Viper pin on his lapel gleamed
silver as he waltzed up to the stand and started tearing down the man's defense.

Harry had little tolerance for murderers and none for rapists. It was a sick,
depraved crime and one he was all too happy to help out if it meant putting scum
like this behind bars.

By the time they left the court, the man was put into prison for the next ten years
without even a chance at parole, and the defense was tearing their hair out
wondering where a hooker had gotten the cash to pay for someone like Harry
bloody Potter.

"I must admit, that was very enjoyable," said Harry. He had never actually gone
into cases like this...he had started straight at the top and the chance to defend the
little guy had never come up.
However putting people like that rapist behind bars had been particularly
satisfying.

"Did you see the look on their faces when they finally realized who you were?"
grinned Matt.

"Totally worth waiving my fee," cackled Harry.

"You up for breakfast tomorrow?"

"And miss on you pranking your friend? Of course I'm in!"

"You're paying," deadpanned Matt.

"Just make sure he gets the mustard instead of the honey and I'll throw in lunch,"
snickered Harry.

"Deal."

Matt only wore the glasses when he really wanted to see something. Most of the
time he went without them, despite Harry's assurances that they were unbreakable.
So the chance that he could prank his partner was too fun to miss up.

Harry was beside Matt while he was adding to his coffee when she walked in.
Elektra, the Greek beauty who separated herself from her father's criminal
business. Very rarely did he have any prophetic visions, but he could see that Matt
and Elektra would make one of the ultimate power couples. Seeing Matt prank his
friend before going over to try and introduce himself, Harry grinned.

He sent a fake familiar to watch the show, and it was very entertaining indeed.

***

"So you impressed Elektra enough that she sent you an invite to the ball? Thank
Valhalla," said Harry.

"Why?"

"Now I have someone to talk to while Natasha and I outclass almost everyone
there," said Harry grinning.

"Natasha?"
"That reminds me, I should really introduce you to Steve. You two would likely
get on pretty well, and he could definitely use a break from Tony."

"Steve as in Steve Rogers?" asked Matt.

"You a fan?"

"My dad was. Back when he first started out Steve Rogers saved my granddad, and
he always loved telling people how he was the first person to meet the Captain
America," said Matt.

(I'm talking about the kid who was thrown into the water in the movie.)

"Well look at the bright side...you can at least see what your girl looks like all
dolled up?"

Matt perked up at that. Thanks to his new glasses (he had two pairs...one for
everyday wear and one for dressing up) he could at least see what Elektra looked
like without having to get wet.

Tony had already outfitted a phone for Matt when he heard about his unique skill
that turned him into a living bat. All Matt had to do was tell the A.I. Tony had
made to start the program and it would send out a ringtone that had been made for
people under twenty that adults couldn't hear...but with Matt's super hearing he
could still hear it just fine.
It was a little echo-location just for Matt. It made getting around just a little easier
in quiet areas.

So the fact he was going to see Elektra all dolled up made Matt's day.

***

"If I could only give you my eyes for one night," whistled Matt's partner.

"No need. He has something just as good," said Harry.

Matt's partner looked to find him wearing the more classy glasses.

"How..."

"You do remember how I got my start as a 'lawyer for heroes' do you not?" said
Harry amused, "Magic allows Matt to see, or close enough that it doesn't make a
difference."

"So why don't you wear them all the time?"

"I'm so used to being blind, I prefer not to wear them out of habit," said Matt.

His attention was almost entirely taken up by his girl, which made her very
pleased.

Natasha was just happy Harry wasn't even looking in their direction, just on her.

However that quickly changed after Elektra's father spoke to the man Harry knew
for a fact was the real King Pin. However he would have some difficulty proving it
since he had learned it from reading the man's mind. She had been less than happy
about leaving the party, but Matt was quick to follow because his super-hearing
had caught something he didn't like.

"I'm surprised the infamous Viper has lowered himself to fighting for the little
guys. Don't you stick to heroes?" asked the King Pin.

Harry gave him a rather pointed smile. Natasha would almost swear he had fangs
that looked like a snake's instead of canines.

(He did.)

"I found myself with a rather large amount of work...too much for me to handle
without going batty. So I went looking for outside help."
"Why not make your own company?"

Harry's smirk turned a bit more vicious.

"Companies make mistakes, and I dislike working with idiots. I chose Mr.
Murdock solely because he was one of the rare few who was decent and wouldn't
be motivated by money but by justice."

Well that and the fact Matt was a super hero himself who tried to help in ways that
cops couldn't complain about didn't hurt.

Harry had liked Matt so much he had started helping to clean up Matt's home turf.
If a few new homeless shelters and youth centers had started up after he had
partnered up with the blind lawyer, they weren't going to brag about it.

"Justice can come in many forms."

"Matt may be blind, but his hearing makes him a human polygraph in quiet
courtrooms... Besides, the looks on those their faces when they realized who Matt
brought with him to cross examine the other side was hilarious," said Harry
unashamed.

He had been in a trollish mood... and still was, to Tony's amusement.

King Pin gave a rather thin smile. This was someone he couldn't bully or pay off to
leave him alone. Harry was notorious for being able to evade his countless stalkers
and no one knew where he lived...only that it was in the US.

Harry heard about the crash the next day, and he was quick to defend Daredevil's
innocence in the death of the so-called 'King Pin'.

***

Harry hated the press. The only real difference between the nuisance that had been
Rita Skeeter and the persistent tabloid reporters that seemed to thrive on celebrity
gossip was that he was allowed to sue the tabloids if they got their facts wrong.

Rita herself was currently spending the rest of her days in a nice bug sanctuary
after the introduction of libel laws to the magical press.

The Daily Prophet almost had to shut down because of the sheer amount of very
important people suing for all the damage they had done since employing Rita and
others like her. The Quibbler, a rather amusing magazine that Harry was a long
time subscriber to, had actually taken over as the top magically-run newspaper
because unlike the Prophet, Luna and her father had always backed up their facts
whenever they printed anything that wasn't pure fiction or speculation...and they
had made sure to include a disclaimer in each issue noting which articles were pure
speculation or just for laughs.

Harry had laughed evilly when he found that out.

"So how did you cover yourself when you openly defended me from the people
claiming I killed him?" asked Matt. He had been curious how Harry kept the press
from eating him alive.

"Simple. I remind them that I am a lawyer, not a hero. Unlike me, you spend your
nights trying to keep people safe through action. I do it with words... well, that and
I've never lied about my actual origins," said Harry.

"Your...origins?"

"Odin's favorite punishment when his sons screw up is to force them to take mortal
form, or in the case of Loki, forced him to grow up all over again to relearn some
humility."

"Isn't Loki the one who set those aliens on New York?" asked Matt.

"Like I said, he had to relearn humility," deadpanned Harry.

"And what about the magic?"

"Loki was reborn to a pair of magical parents, so he didn't have to unlock his old
skills the hard way. People were aware I was magical shortly after I left England,
but they couldn't do anything about it because I was the one who brought the whole
mess to life and I had never used a lick of magic to do it. I'm a lawyer, not
someone who wants to deal with annoying super villains all damn day," said Harry
flatly.

It was a statistical fact. Whenever a superhero was born, made or came into being
through some weird situation, a super villain was always there to counter them
within the first year. Harry had enough on his plate keeping the super heroes from
being hated by the public and arranging the clean up for their fights. He wasn't
about waste his time dealing with some super-powered moron who was determined
to prove his worth.

He had Thor to deal with that.

Matt considered that, and conceded his point. He had two villains after him, and he
had been fighting one of them for years.

"Any idea who I'm dealing with?"

"An Irish assassin named Bull's Eye. He prides himself on his accuracy, so the fact
you made him miss is guaranteed to royally piss him off and make you his next
target...if he doesn't go after Elektra first. If King Pin is trying to blame all his
crimes on her father, he'll go after her as well."

"What are you working on now?" asked Matt, changing the subject.
"Fury sent me some files on the King Pin. Looks like he's in contact with Victor
Von Doom...and there's another organization that has ties to old money and what
appears to be old blood."

"But?" Matt had worked with Harry enough that he could pick up the subtle queues
the other let off...and his enhanced abilities worked in his favor too.

"But some of these dummy companies have popped up in a few magical-related

businesses. And I know for a fact that the King Pin only knows of the magical
world from my work. And there's a recurring name in most of these. Erebus."

"And that is?"

"A rather large and irritating group of 'pure blood' vampires. They mostly try to
keep their heads down...but recently there was another vampire, a turned one by
the name of Deacon Frost, who took out the clan heads. So the vampires are in a
bit of a disarray and it's made hunting them easier."

"How is that a bad thing?"

"I never said it wasn't. But that means that it's harder for the magical clans, who
have learned how to use volunteers and magic to avoid detection from people like
the hunters, to hide. At the moment there's a fine balance of power, and if
something happens it would turn ugly in a hurry."

And he had been hearing some rather worrying things about a 'vampire final
solution' from his informants inside the homeless shelters. Several of their number
were going missing, and the number of those going to the shelter rather than risk
being out in the open had jumped in the past few months.

They knew. They might be invisible, but even the most insane of them knew that
something was targeting them specifically. Harry was one of the few in the know
and was doing his best to keep them safe.

At this point, he was doing everything in his power to find the one called Blade. If
they really were trying an end game, they would target him. Finding Blade meant
that he would find the nest and end this nonsense.

Besides...they had a shared country of origin.

(Yes people, Blade is actually British according to the Marvelverse.)

Chapter 17

"Gods I am so bored!" said Harry a week after Matt dealt with King Pin.
"Why don't you modify your suits like Tony did in his free time?" asked Gabriel.
Harry often bounced ideas off the AI, mostly because he liked the spirit's wit.

"Because the only suit I have is the Ouroboros suit and I happen to like it the way
it is."

"So why not make your own with Tony's help? I mean it never hurts to have a
spare and it's not like you can't afford to have more than one."

Harry was about to say why, then realized he literally had nothing better to do.
Gabriel was already looking for Blade, picking up the subtle hints of his passing,
so that was out. Fury had threatened to hang him from the helicarrier if he didn't
get lost. Tony was busy with Pepper. Thor was off doing his thing in Asgard. Matt
was out looking for Elektra with some help from Harry's bank account. And
Natasha was off on assignment and he had been asked not to interrupt until she got
home.

"Oh what the Helhiem... why not?"

And so Harry spent the next two weeks modifying the Ouroboros suit, as he called
it.

Tony had been surprised, but when he found out the cause he had been all for it.
Harry waved him off, mostly because this was to kill time and not die of boredom
like he nearly did on Asgard.
At least on Midgard he got actual encouragement and help, not to mention an
appropriate audience from Tony who was thrilled to help Harry with his project. If
only because he was bored too.

After three weeks, Harry finally got a hit on Blade.

***

Blade was more than a bit loopy as he was chained to the steel chair with his arms
bent behind his back. Whistler was dead, he knew that in his heart. Damn
vampires.

As the FBI tried to interrogate him, believing his serum to be some new form of
drug to explain his strength and delusions, they were interrupted without warning
by a man he didn't recognize.

"Sorry gents, I'll have to cut this interview short."

"Who the hell are you?"

"His lawyer."
Seeing the incredulous disbelief in their eyes that Blade actually had legal
representation, their reactions quickly turned to outright anger when the mystery
man showed them a document that forced them to release Blade into his custody.
Blade observed their reactions, and from what he could tell this was either the
biggest bluff he had ever seen in his life, or something was up.

Blade was lead out of the building in handcuffs to an unmarked black car. The one
driving it looked rather uncomfortable in his cheap suit, as did the one who sat next
to him to keep him under control. It wasn't until they were a few blocks away when
the blond man snapped the cuffs off him and the mystery lawyer handed him what
was clearly his serum.

Blade's disorientation and the drugs started to break down with the serum in his
blood again. Once he could think straight, the first thing he had to ask was... "Who
the hell are you?"

The lawyer chuckled.

"My name, Eric Whistler, is Harry Potter. You might have heard of me after I
started working as the go-to person to keep superheroes out of jail."

"My name is Blade."

"Your alias is Blade, yes, but I've been tracking you for some time. You have no
idea how irritating it is to locate someone as illusive as you are. And before you try
to deny it, everyone who's heard of you knows that Whistler adopted you when you
were thirteen. Legally your real name is Whistler."
Blade said nothing about that, so he changed subjects.

"Why did you take me out of there?"

"Your group isn't the only one who tracks the fanged bastards, and recently they've
been getting onto S.H.I.E.L.D.'s perspective radar by abducting people right off the
streets."

Blade raised an eyebrow.

"Why would anyone care about people being taken off the street?"

"Because an alarming number of them had military service records...people that

were lost but most certainly not forgotten by their country when they stopped
showing up for free medical care. Besides... we happen to share a country of
origin, which gives me the best excuse for focusing on finding you," said Harry.

"There's also the fact his girlfriend is currently on an infiltration mission and Fury's
threatened to strangle him bare handed if he tried to join her," piped up their driver.

"Quiet Bruce," said Harry with good humor, "Your driver this evening is Bruce
Banner, Code Name: Hulk. The rather unhappy Yank next to you is Steve Rogers,
AKA Captain America. I highjacked them from the tower, to Tony's annoyance."
"What's this got to do with me?" asked Blade bluntly.

"There's rumors that the vampires have uncovered the first vampire. You may
know him as Dracula, though he goes by Drake at the moment. And before you
laugh, Vlad the Impaler was mistaken for this bastard because Drake decided to go
to sleep a few years before Vlad became known for his desecration of his enemies.
The stunt they pulled to insure you got onto the human's radar was simply a way
for them to snag you before you became a nuisance."

"What's in it for you, getting me out before they showed up?"

"Again, he was bored and his girlfriend is currently on another continent," said
Bruce dryly, "He just decided to drag us along because he wanted to annoy Tony
Stark."

"Actually he just grabbed you. When he mentioned these... creatures were targeting
veterans I volunteered to join him," corrected Steve.

"Once a soldier, always a soldier," snarked Harry.

Blade was absolutely confused.

"Take a left and head towards the water Brucie. We need to introduce Blade here
to his limited reinforcements... Fury said he needed proof that the people didn't just
die in a ditch before he can legally send in the heavy hitters without the higher ups
getting into a real snit," said Harry.
The slightly larger group of vampire hunters had nearly shit themselves when
Harry had Gabriel hack into their servers to say hello and get directions to their
base. The fact he was hand-delivering Blade to them was another factor.

Well, perhaps less of a bargaining chip and more of a show that he wasn't lying
about wanting to help deal with this current issue. No Blade, no meetings without
having to deal with some unneeded tension in the room.

***

Once they reached the boat, they were greeted by a woman about Harry's "age"
with a bow. The first thing that came to mind was that she would be an excellent
match for Clint. They had the same hobby for crying out loud!

"You're Viper?" asked the girl.

"Harry 'Viper' Potter at your service. You must be the other Whistler."

Blade actually looked at her when Harry said that.

"Abigail Whistler," she said holding out her hand.

"Hannibal King. How exactly did you get Blade out without being arrested?" asked
the guy beside Whistler's daughter.

"I'm a lawyer...an evil far worse than any vampire. Besides, it's kinda hard to argue
with the Queen of England, let alone someone who's been knighted," said Harry
impishly.

He was a Knight of England as well as a lord. He just didn't care considering that
he was also Prince of Asgard.

Hannibal and Abigail stared at him. He held up a copy of the same paper he had
practically shoved into the face of the FBI before the entire thing was swept under
the rug.

Despite their best efforts, the vampires hadn't yet infiltrated the governments as
high as they would like... and they didn't have the pull that they needed to override
the Queen of England when it came to someone who was British by birth.

Harry loved doing that kind of thing over high and mighty idiots. It was better than
any war trophy in his opinion.

"So... how quickly do you think the vampires would shit themselves if we sent
Bruce in as the Hulk?" asked Harry a few hours later.

"Hulk?" asked Abigail. Harry obligingly brought up a video of Hulk going ape-shit
on some Chitauri.
"Yeah... not exactly discreet is he?"

"But I seriously doubt they could turn him if they tried, and if he can deal with this
lot without breaking a sweat, imagine what he would do to their base?" said Harry
smirking.

Bruce flipped him off.

"I like it," said Blade.

The look on the vampires' faces when something like that barged in, and nothing
they did could stop it? Where could he get a ticket?

Harry chuckled.

"Now we should find out what they're doing with all these homeless people before
we storm the place...which reminds me, these are for you," said Harry, handing
over the same special glasses he had gotten Matt to the woman creating the Day
Star weapon.

She took the glasses, and it was a complete shock when shortly after putting them
on she slowly started to see things again.

"How..."
"I happen to be the best superhero attorney you can get, and one of my...clients...
happens to be blind as well. Chemical accident as I recall. I had a pair of special
glasses commissioned so that the receptors in the eyes were bypassed entirely and
went straight to the nerves in the brain that process the signals. It allows those who
have gone blind to see, to a point. Though Daredevil did complain that the time it
took to process it at first was a bit too long for his liking."

"Why would you have a pair with you?"

"So that I can get new clients to be able to read the contracts I make, in the event
they're blind. I know how to use sign language in the event of deaf clients as well. I
take pride in being thorough," said Harry with a puff of his chest.

"And what about him?" asked Hannibal hooking a thumb at Steve.

"Some of the people taken were veterans, and Steve here is Captain America. He
volunteered when I told him what was going on."

"That and Stark was going to trap the laptop I used most with more of those
horrible 'websites'. The last one..." Steve shuddered in disgust.

"And as I've told you repeatedly, half the fun is in the revenge prank," said Harry
exasperated.

"You know I can't operate those blasted video cameras!"

"Why don't you ask JARVIS?" asked Bruce.

Steve opened his mouth to reply, thought about that, then closed it with a snap.
Why hadn't he asked the AI to tape the incriminating evidence for Pepper or worse,
Fury to find? Harry chuckled in amusement.

"As amusing as this is..." said Hannibal.

"So who do we hit first?" asked Abigail.

"The weakest link has always been the familiars," said Blade gruffly.

"Steve, you and Bruce stay here. I'll go with Blade and the others to find out where
to look," said Harry.

***

"So who exactly are you?" asked Hannibal after Harry managed to keep him from
being stabbed.
"Long story short? Loki."

"Loki, as in the nut job that tried to destroy New York?!"

"For the record, that wasn't entirely my fault. I was being controlled. Besides, I was
punished already," said Harry sourly.

"How could you possibly have already be punished?"

"Odin forced me into a human's body until I proved I was worth being Loki again.
Needless to say the lesson stuck this time," said Harry.

"Do you think Blade caught up with Drake?" asked Abigail.

"Probably. I think Drake might be more interested in my offer than what the
vampires are giving him."

"What offer?"

"Relocation to a world without any of the humans to bother him. If I can convince
him that it would be a better idea to leave Earth, then the vampires would have
great difficulty waking him up again. Though getting him to donate some of his
blood so we can wipe the slate clean might be a bit of a problem," admitted Harry.
Harry fully planned to bribe Drake with the possibility of going to another world
where he could get some sleep without having to deal with his flawed species
anymore. He sincerely doubted Drake appreciated how far his 'kind' had fallen.

He probably felt the same way Magneto would feel towards mutants if they ever
willingly became second-class citizens to the 'ungifted' humans.

***

Drake was bored. He had thought his kind would rule the humans when he went to
sleep. Instead the vampire was considered a joke by humans while they scampered
around like insects making backward deals. It was disgusting.

Vampires were meant to be gods! Not some joke for the humans to mock in the
safety of their ivory towers!

He sensed more than saw someone approach him from his spot on the roof.

"Well this is convenient. Are the vampires so assured of victory that they don't
even bother to guard their towers?" asked an amused voice.
It had a silky tone to it, one he knew very well. It was the voice of someone who
talked circles until the truth was hidden behind so many convoluted lies that it was
impossible to see it. A voice of someone who would behave as your best friend
while literally stabbing you from behind with a smile.

In short, a politician.

Drake turned to face his adversary to find someone he didn't expect.

The man from earlier, who grabbed the foolish hunter. The one who traveled with
Blade.

"Hello Drake. I apologize for earlier. That was not how I was hoping to meet the
infamous progenitor of the vampires," said the man pleasantly.

"I never did get your name," said Drake. He was completely confident he could kill
this brat before he came close. A mere human was no threat to a god.

"I am called Harry by the mortals, but you can call me Loki."

"Loki? The viking's god?" said Drake, openly incredulous.

"I am an Asgardian, not a human. We pulled out centuries ago because we didn't
want to interfere with their development. I was sent back because of a rather bad
decision on who to trust," said Loki flatly. He took a few steps towards Drake, his
original armor taking place over the suit he had been wearing.
Suddenly he seemed more credible as a threat. Loki sat next to Drake with a smirk.

"I'm here with an offer."

"Start talking," said Drake.

"I can get you off world and away from these weaklings who dare to call
themselves vampires. All I need is a little of your blood to wipe the slate clean and
you can go back to sleep on a world where the survivors won't bother you any
century soon," said Loki.

"Tempting," said Drake. And it really was. Being offered a clean start on a world
where he would be left alone from the weak vermin who dared to call themselves
vampires?

"And I can promise you'll never see another Twilight reference ever again,"
continued Loki.

Drake made a face. It was most definitely one of disgust.

"Do not remind me of that trash," he spat.

When he had first found that series, he had been only remotely interested in it.
About a few chapters in he was burning every copy he could get his hands on. If he
could locate this author, he would bleed her dry and make sure she never became a
vampire. Why his descendants read that trash he had no idea.

Seeing that expression Loki had a very evil idea. One that could kill two
annoyances with one spell.

"How about this... a vial of your blood so we can wipe out the current stock of
vampires in exchange for Stephanie Meyer's location and the promise to look the
other way if you happen to show your opinion of her so called 'books'?"

"Agreed," said Drake without hesitation.

Chapter 18

YES PEOPLE, I AM ALIVE! AND I COME BEARING A MASS UPDATE TO

MAKE UP FOR THE WAIT!

I have had a really, REALLY bad case of luck for a full month. Starting with the
car finally giving up the ghost and ending with my mother being in and out of the
hospital. On the plus side, my muse has gotten the swift kick in the ass it needed to
update some of the older fics. Here's to hoping the rest of the month is better after
the mess the last was.

***

After leaving Drake in the general area Stephanie Meyer was in, and then vacating
rather quickly once her body was found drained of all blood, Harry returned to the
others. Drake had donated more than enough blood for them to use for Daystar,
once he had been left on a new world where the hunting was good and the chances
of his 'children' finding him were next to nill.

Blade seemed very pleased by this development, though he was a little

disappointed. Very few people could give him a decent fight when it came to the
sword, and from what little he saw of Drake, he was one of those few.

Fortunately Drake had no issue with sparring with Blade occasionally. Centuries of
living meant he got bored very, very easily.

Loki snorted when he would later consider those he considered close contacts. It
seemed where Thor pulled in the 'brainless hero' type of friend, Loki seemed to
attract the neutrals. Even Wolverine liked him, and he normally disliked everyone.
Even his own kind!
Then again, Loki wasn't likely to betray his allies just because he was being
blackmailed. He was more apt to find blackmail of his own and ruin the lives of
those trying to force him to give up those in his actual contact list.

So the fact he was the go-between for creatures like Blade and Drake to have their
fun was an irony not lost to him.

It was only fitting a monster would make friends with other monsters.

Loki shook his head. It did no good for him to dwell on the stupidity of the
Asgardians and their blatant hatred of the Jotuns. Yes, he was the adopted son of
Odin and the biological son of Laufey, king of the Jotuns, but that didn't make him
a monster.

The Hulk was monstrous, when he was angry at you and you happened to have the
bad luck of being in his way. In another time, Loki was a monster as bad as
everyone claimed the Frost Giants were.

Harry, however, found it was easier not to give a damn about how people
perceived race and preferred to let his actions speak for him. As he often said with
an evil smirk, "I'm not evil, I'm a lawyer. I could care less who you are or what
you've done so long as you don't piss me off personally."

It was ironic that out of all the Avengers, the most well liked by the average person
was Harry. Mostly because while Thor, Steve and Bruce could beat the bad guys, it
was Harry who insured that somebody help pay for the clean up.
Setting up that law that stated any super-villian arrested and thrown into their
prospective prison cell had to pay for any damages they caused was one of the few
reasons he was glad that he chose to become a lawyer. Not only did it give the
superheroes some very good reasons to avoid hitting things that aren't the bad guy,
but it also meant the idiots who kept trying to blow up the world had to wait in
order to pay for the materials until after they were done paying off for their last
attempt.

Truly, Loki was an evil bastard when he put his mind to it. Had he not been reborn
as a human and forced to grow up, he would have been among those super-villains
who had to pay for damages.

***

Tony walked into a familiar sight.

Harry, in the middle of a pile of tech trying to put something together to stave off
his boredom. As a fellow genius with too much time on his hands, Tony could
relate to the fact Loki got bored and needed something to keep his mind occupied.

"What did you come up with this time?" he asked, sipping his coffee.
Loki looked at him.

"Holograms. Portable ones to be exact. We have the technology to possibly pull it

off, but the problem is that no one's bothered to do so. And considering Fury, in an
effort to spite me, has put Natasha on a long series of undercover missions I can't
happen to run into her on to kill the monotony means I don't have anything to do."

Tony blinked.

"Need any help?"

"Only always."

And so one bored genius became two. They agreed to use Gabriel as the test
subject, followed by JARVIS. If, in between their minor arguments on what went
where they happened to give Tony's AI more control over the penthouse and the
random defenses Harry threw in as a joke, the AI wisely said nothing.

Bruce, when he found out what Loki had done to the place and who the control
was given to, only made the comment that they had better hope JARVIS never
turned evil, or they would have a hell of a time regaining control of the lab.

As it was, Pepper conspired with the AI to kick the two geniuses out so they would
actually sleep, eat and bathe. Well, Tony at least. Harry (and more importantly
Loki) was too much of an OCD neat freak to stand being dirty for more than a few
hours. So the odds of him forgetting to shower were much lower than Tony, who
could care less as long as he didn't itch.
Feeding and sleeping, however, were another story. He went days without food and
surviving on only the strongest coffee available to humans.

It took them two months, countless arguments back and forth about minor details
no one but Bruce could make heads or tails of, and more explosions than they
bothered to count (they rarely counted explosions anymore), but eventually they
had a working prototype.

"Contact!" said Loki, goggles firmly over his eyes.

"Contact!" replied Tony.

With a massive arc of electricity that dimmed the lights for a good fives seconds
before the arc reactor was able to pick up the slack, the device in the table began to
hum dangerously.

Internal lights shone through the plastic casings as the device fired to life. Once the
power fully kicked in, the thing started floating, courtesy of the Asgardian
technology Loki filched from the palace. It wasn't like they every had any use for it
outside of repairs.

Frigga was highly amused when Loki visited, if only because they had a rash of
complaints about minor theft whenever he left. Odin was just glad the most
damage he caused these days was because he borrowed things without asking.
Loki looked at the status bar for downloading a copy of Gabriel's AI into the
device. The bulbs hidden inside the bottom of it sparked to life, before a 3D image
of Gabriel appeared.

"Did it work?" asked Bruce.

"HI!" said Gabriel, waving to Bruce.

"He's see-through," said Bruce.

"Give me a minute to tighten up his projection. He'll be a little translucent, but

unfortunately not even my knowledge of Asgardian technology could fix that,"
said Loki.

Gabriel's appearance went from ghostly to somewhat solid looking. Very similar to
Loki's clones in fact.

"What are you going to do with that hovering thing?" asked Bruce. It was rather
noticeable.

Loki smirked. It lowered itself onto Gabriel's head, and a few tweaks to the
hologram made it look like a hat.

Tony snickered.
"I still say a baseball cap would look better."

"And I say the fedora is superior. Besides, the base is too wide for a baseball cap.
Or should I just give him a fez?"

Tony laughed good and long at the idea. Loki was definitely a Whovian.

"Not to mention this was just a prototype. Preferably we'll be able to make this
smaller and hide it inside the projection itself. Now Gabriel, do try to let me sleep
while you go give Pepper a good scare," yawned Loki.

Gabriel gave him a thumbs up.

Hearing Pepper's yelp more than made up for the amount of time they spent trying
to get this done.

Tony snickered.

***
Pepper glared at Loki and Tony, both of whom slept for two days straight before
they woke up ready to work again. The two often played small pranks on her, but
Pepper knew she was one of the few people Loki was genuinely civil to. It helped
that her long tenure as Tony's babysitter made it easier not to take any of his crap.

Once she got over her shock and the two were relatively awake enough to yell at,
she slapped them both on the head for scaring her like that. Then she proceeded to
drag Tony to the next board meeting on the books, considering she knew he was
absolutely useless in the full power of creative fury otherwise.

In between making something new and the lull between, Pepper forced Tony to go
to meetings. Otherwise he would be impossible to manage.

Gabriel was still hovering around merrily, glad that he could finally interact with
the world as more than just the mind inside Harry's tech.

JARVIS was going to be the one testing the smaller version.

Loki accepted the slap without any malice. She didn't hit nearly as hard as Thor's
slaps to the back, and he did deserve that much.

Now that they had a general idea of how to make the projectors, it took less than a
month and an extremely annoyed Pepper reminding them of little things like eating
and sleeping for them to make a much more portable, less awkward version of the
holograms.
Tony, for some unimaginable reason, made JARVIS British. He found Harry's
quips hilarious for some reason known only to him, so he decided to make JARVIS
look like a Brit.

So now there were two AI's running around looking like normal people, though
quite a few people did a double take when they saw Loki's personal assistant.

Because Gabriel was based off of the character from Loki's favorite book series (he
had no idea where he first found the books, but through him it now had a rather
large cult following that rivaled Twilight) the AI was often seen popping up
imaginary suckers and candies. After the first few times, Loki finally started
carrying around candy with him just so he could make it look like Gabriel was
alive and real.

Ironically because of Gabriel's usual deflection to the fact Loki did have some
extra candy on him, it made him much more approachable. Loki actually liked
children. They weren't as arrogant as adults unless they were raised that way, and
they were more likely to befriend the unusual because they were so openminded.

Then Loki got a call that would start an entirely new headache.

***
"What do you mean Selvig was arrested?" said Harry annoyed.

Selvig, when they found his wallet, had Harry's card in it. So they called him once
he was processed. Originally they called S.H.I.E.L.D., but after the mess with New
York the scientist was somewhat on their shit list.

Hence why his name was the next one they called.

"Streaking. In Stone Henge. Right, I'll be on the next plane to England," sighed
Harry.

Looked like he would have to upgrade his personal shields for a while. He was still
pretty much hated in England for outing the magicals and forcing them to get their
head out of their ass.

He was just glad that he would be mostly dealing with the normal people.

Harry took one look at Selvig, then at the recordings. He had Gabriel take a look at
the date and winced.

"I'll take him off your hands."

"Just keep him away from any more public areas and dressed," said the officer
patiently.
He did not want to piss off Harry.

Loki dragged Selvig away to a hotel by the ear.

"Honestly Erik, what the hell is wrong with you? I know the Convergence is
coming, but that's no excuse to take laps around the insanity pool!"

Erik Selvig winced.

"You don't need to pull me by the ear!"

"Apparently I do. Now, what possessed you to run around naked at Stone Henge of
all places?!"

Stone Henge. The purpose of the area was debated for centuries, but the magicals
knew it was simply an area the druids used for their most important rituals. It had a
natural leyline running under it, but thanks to the decline of the druids and the rise
in curiosity from muggles, it was impossible to use it without drawing too much
attention.

And despite the growing awareness of the magical population, they had yet to
reclaim the site.

It was unlikely they would either, considering Harry owned the land it sat on.
A small concession from the Queen and the countries around England considering
he fixed the growing problem of unemployment from the first generation magicals.
It was such a small thing, but in the long run it kept the magicals from raising hell
later about the property being in the hands of muggles.

After all, the Black family was originally a line of dark druids.

By that time Loki's words reached Selvig's added mind. He had never properly
recovered from his encounter with the Tesseract's energy, and to his shame Loki
had completely forgotten about his friend in the aftermath. Clint had recovered, but
he had neglected to see how a scientist like Erik would fair after having his mind
opened so forcefully to the real powers of the universe.

"Wait, you know..."

"The Asgardians were there during the first Convergence, though we were fighting
the Dark Elves at the time. My adopted grandfather Bor stole their strongest
weapon from them, and hid it away. And now that it's back, I just know that the
way to it will be reopened."

Loki knew that was a headache just waiting to blow up in his face.

"Come on bossman, weren't you just complaining of absolute boredom last week?"
said Gabriel cheerfully.

Erik seemed to give him a strange look before he stopped and outright stared.
"You're see through."

"And you're supposed to be smart," said Gabriel. While he was based off the 'Loki'
character from Supernatural, it was only inevitable that he would gain some of
Harry's snark after all the time spent around him.

"Gabriel, meet Erik. Erik, this is my AI that I have for my flight suit and pretty
much runs my tech when I'm too busy too. Among them the coffee maker and the
small printer that's in the briefcase."

He looked really confused at this point.

"He's like JARVIS, but Tony and I had a bored brainstorm where we developed a
holographic projector for them."

"What's a bored brainstorm?" asked Selvig, settling on that odd term instead of the
holographic Gabriel.

"It's what you get when Tony and Loki don't have anything better to do and they're
banned from annoying others for any amount of time. It's also why Loki left
Asgard and only visits these days...they don't appreciate the effort he puts into
creating things."

"For a society of 'gods' they are certainly close minded about geniuses," said Harry
annoyed, "All they ever care about is who can hit things the hardest or be the most
testosterone-laden moron."
Chapter 19

All good things must come to an end. In two more chapters I'm ending this fic...but
I'm also happy to announce a sequel called Pagans and Angels! Loki is going to be
having a nice vacation in Supernatural for a while, and I answer once and for all
how Gabriel/Loki will react to his Asgardian double...and more importantly the AI
named after him! Sorry if I can't continue this normally, but to be honest I was not
waiting for the next Avengers or Thor movie to keep it up in the Marvel-verse.
Besides: Chaos in the form of Harry in Supernatural. How could I pass that up?

***

Realizing that the Convergence might come back to bite him in the ass later, Harry
tracked down Jane.
Who had apparently stumbled upon one of the many sites where the paths between
worlds intersected. Darcy was in full panic mode because Jane had been missing
for an hour already with no sign of her.

"Darcy, keep and eye on this idiot. And make sure his clothes stay on. I don't care
how much easier it is to think with them off, they stay on," said Harry grumbling.
Darcy gave Erik and odd look.

"Where are you going?"

"I am going to track where that idiot's girlfriend has vanished off to thanks to the
Convergence," stated Harry flatly, "It may take a few hours."

Harry had seriously underestimated the amount of trouble Jane Foster was in.

"You stupid, idiotic fool!" ranted Harry.

The second he found Jane and realized what she had done, he had become very
furious. Why was it that humans kept stumbling into the worst possible situations?

Jane bristled at his tone alone.

"You couldn't keep your hands away from the bloody thing, could you? No, you
just had to touch one of the most dangerous weapons in the universe!"
"Where are we anyway?" asked Jane.

"This is where the previous King of Asgard, my grandfather, stored the final
weapon of the Dark Elves in order to keep them from annihilating everyone. It's
called the Aether, and it thrives on the life-force of the host. And you had to go and
touch the bloody thing," lectured Loki.

Jane had her hand on his shoulder while he lead her back to Midgard. He was
furious with her, mostly because this was something he expected of Thor!

"Jane!"

"Don't get too close. The fool actually found a weapon that would have been better
off lost," warned Loki.

It took a few seconds for the rain to start, and Loki's irritation only grew.

"Thor, get your arse out here this instant!" he barked.

His brother sheepishly appeared. He had come to Midgard the second Heimdall
informed him Jane was missing.

"Brother, it is good to see you again," said Thor.

"Thor, I was in Asgard two weeks ago. Now, we have a bigger problem. Jane has
stumbled upon the Aether and it's infected her. If I can't find a way to remove it, or
at least make it dormant it could kill her."

Thor's expression turned shocked, then protective.

Loki could tell this was going to be a headache inducing week.

First things first though...

"Gabriel, can you record the energy read outs of the Convergence? You should be
able to get a decent recording while we're on the Bifrost," said Loki.

"Okie dokie Loki!"

Loki pinched the bridge of his nose.

"For the love of the All-Father, quit watching that series. It's bad enough you found
that pink horse amusing," said Loki grimacing.

Loki cursed the day that Tony stumbled upon the "My Little Pony: Friendship is
Magic" series that had a pink Earth pony who reminded him of Gabriel at his most
random. While he did find Pinkie Pie somewhat amusing, he disliked the way
Gabriel sometimes said "Okie dokie Loki" as a way to respond to his orders. Tony
found it hilarious, Loki did not.
"Who is that?" said Jane. He was see through!

"Gabriel, the AI Tony made to act as my personal assistant, since the odds of
finding someone as useful as Pepper Potts was extremely unlikely. We recently
developed a way for him to manifest so everyone could see him. Unfortunately
we're still not able to get rid of the fact he looks like a ghost at times," explained
Loki.

"Okay, all set to record the readings from within the Bifrost!"

"Heimdall!" Thor called out, holding his girlfriend close to him.

Gabriel stumbled slightly once they landed, his holo-ball wavering a bit, but he
recovered perfectly.

"Who or what is this?" asked Heimdall.

"Hi! I'm the one who keeps Loki from going insane from talking to idiots all day,"
said Gabriel, popping in a fake candy.

"This is Gabriel, the spirit that inhabits the armor Stark gave me. We recently
found a way for him to interact properly with others."
Heimdall eyed the 'spirit' warily. Still, Gabriel had been to Asgard before in Loki's
technology.

"I'll need to use the soul forge if I'm to have any idea of how to at least turn the
Aether dormant," said Loki, he then eyed Thor. "You do realize Odin will not be
pleased with her presence here."

Thor winced at the reminder.

***

Loki spent three hours examining the Aether. Eventually he came to an inescapable
conclusion..one he didn't like.

"I can't return it to a dormant state. It's too active."

Thor's expression fell. Odin's remained as stoic as ever, though he was observing
Loki carefully.
"But... I might be able to transfer it to something else. The problem is I only have
one container that might be able to handle it and I'm not entirely sure it's a wise
idea to move it there," said Loki.

"Loki, whatever you require of me I will give it. Just save her!"

Loki turned his emerald eyes to Thor in annoyance.

"The problem is that I'm not entirely certain I would be able to move the Aether
from her. It's sentient and it could react violently. And I will not risk the container
on the off chance it will break it. Especially not with who's guarding the only one
of it I have."

"What is the container?" asked Odin. He had never seen Loki so reluctant to risk
something.

"Gabriel."

The AI floated close to where Loki was, curious as to what his 'boss' needed.

Odin eyed the 'spirit' warily.

Loki took out his PDA and pressed a button on it. The ball fell neatly into his hand.
"Inside this is an energy source Tony created entirely out of human technology.
However it is the source of the energy that makes it possible that I could contain
the Aether inside of it."

Thor remembered something Tony mentioned after the Chitauri attack.

"Tony gave you one of his arc reactors?" asked Thor.

"He did. This one is small, but the energy inside is still stronger than anything else
the humans currently have access to. And considering I helped him to modify the
reactor, it's capacity is almost infinite. It is merely a vessel."

Odin had trouble believing such a small thing could hold the energy. Had he
known what the reactor ran off of, he never would have allowed Loki to merge the
Aether with it.

"Why are you so reluctant to merge this energy with the reactor?" asked Thor.

"Because you simpering oaf, if this fails then I might risk damaging Gabriel and
the device! I value his company more than I enjoy being in Asgard at this point! At
least with him I know I'll have an intelligent conversation without having to worry
about being insulted!" snapped Loki.

Jane wisely kept quiet. While she didn't know Loki very well, she did know Harry.
He was a nice person to those he liked, but he had some serious deep seated issues
with his family.
The man she knew (whether he was Loki or Harry it didn't matter) was actually
quite lonely. Sure, he had a handful of friends he let in a little, but he never quite
let them down.

Tony Stark came the closest, and could easily be called his best friend. Jane was
close to him as well because she never pried into his personal issues and could hold
a reasonably intelligent conversation. Bruce was a somewhat friend of his, but they
didn't often mesh that well.

Harry was an outcast and he knew it to his core. He knew without being told that
he would never truly fit in with the people he associated with because more often
than not those same people would treat Thor with more appreciation than they did
him. Loki was so used to Thor overshadowing that he expected it to happen with
anyone he befriended. He was just so much more open and people were drawn to
his charismatic self without realizing it, whereas Loki tried to keep things closed
in.

So the fact Loki was very reluctant to even think of causing damage to the one
friend he could always count on to remain beside him no matter what was not
surprising to Jane in the least. Gabriel was the only entity Loki ever allowed in past
the barriers.

"Aw, come on Boss! You know I could handle it!" chirped Gabriel from the PDA.

"Absolutely not. Especially since the signature keeps changing enough that I can't
reasonably remove the damn thing. I refuse to damage the core of your personality
on the remote chance I might be able to handle it," said Loki viciously, glaring at
said device.
"You're no fun at all," whined Gabriel.

"And I'm not risking the only guaranteed intelligent person I will ever meet just for
a theory," said Loki flatly.

Gabriel pouted.

"Well since you're not going to try and remove the energy signature from your
friend, can we work on that Convergence reading you had me get?" asked Gabriel.

"Now that I would be willing to work on," said Loki.

After excusing himself, Loki left to check out the readings Gabriel made of the
Convergence with Asgard's version of a computer. He could work faster with them
than he could with his laptop.

***

The first clue something was wrong was when he heard the alarms go off for the
prisons.
"Oh now what?"

Gabriel perked up from his spot inside Asgard's systems.

"Should I keep working on finding the right wavelength while you're out?"

"Or we could do the smart thing. Seal off the palace now. I have a feeling this is
just a diversion," said Loki.

"You got it boss!"

Gabriel was more sophisticated than even Tony realized. JARVIS came close, but
Gabriel was all-but-alive at this point thanks to Loki's meddling and a lot of
tweaking using Asgard's technology. And because no one really paid Loki any
attention since his return once they realized he had little to no interest in trying to
compete with Thor for the throne, no one had noticed when Loki hacked Asgard's
systems.

To be fair, he had been extremely bored that week.

The shield activated without Heimdall's assistance, startling the watchman

immensely. Nothing would be able to get in or out without Loki's express
permission, and there was no way they would be able to beat someone as tricky as
Gabriel.
Asgardians had grown lax in their 'superiority', and as such the odds of finding one
who developed hacking skills were almost next to impossible.

Loki donned his suit, forgoing the Asgardian armor as it was less effective. The
second he saw the Dark Elves flying in from the direction of the Bifrost, he knew
this day was about to become pear-shaped.

He made a quick decision to insure they didn't retrieve the Aether, so he followed
the spell he had laced Jane with years ago. For once, his ongoing prank with the
woman was actually going to serve some use everyone could agree with.

***

Loki caught the tail end of Malekith's attack. He had been so busy helping the
Asgardians he was nearly too late to save his mother.

Frigga was badly wounded. If he didn't do something, she was almost certainly
going to die.

He reached into his bag for something, anything to save her life. His hand clasped
around a single vial, and when he saw what it was, he didn't hesitate to get her to
drink it.
Her body relaxed as the potion took full effect. She was stable, but it would take
quite some time before she was healed enough for him to administer the antidote.

"Gabriel. Fry them," snarled Loki.

The shield around the palace hummed, despite being weakened greatly by the
Kursed destroying the device powering it. The only reason it hadn't been destroyed
completely was because Gabriel was using the limited connection he had to the
Tesseract to keep it active.

Without warning, an arc of energy slammed into the monster who had weakened
the palace's defenses from within, killing him instantly.

However it also allowed Malekith to escape.

"Loki. Is she..." asked Thor. He couldn't see Frigga breathing.

"She'll live. But there's no way she's getting out of bed until this wound stabilizes.
The potion at least bought her more time than she would have had," said Loki
softly.

Odin looked at Frigga, then at Loki who refused to let her go.

"Loki. What happened?" demanded Odin.

Loki's eyes turned hard.

"She's not dead. But the potion will only hold her body in a near-death state until I
administer the antidote. It will take some time before the wound Malekith dealt to
her heals enough that it would be safe to do so," said Loki, ignoring Odin's silent
demand to know how he had taken full control of the palace defenses.

Odin let himself relax slightly.

"What exactly did you give mother?" asked Thor.

"Draught of the Living Death. A Midgardian potion that puts anyone who
consumes it into a suspended state that is so absolute it mimics death. It was the
first thing I had on hand that I knew could work," said Loki, "However, there is a
small flaw with this potion. If anything were to happen to the body while under the
effects, then it would remain that way after the antidote is given. It's considered a
last-resort healing potion for extreme cases."

Which was the only reason Loki had given it to Frigga. While she was under it's
effects, she would remain alive, but it would also allow Eir time to heal the wound.

"Hey Boss...can I let the shield down now?" asked Gabriel.

"Yes."
You could feel the relief Gabriel had when he released the heavily damaged shield.
It sputtered before crashing.

Chapter 20

Thor was with Loki. Odin had not been happy when he found out Loki had
essentially broken into the systems in place that kept the palace safe, but the fact
was that if he hadn't, then more would have died.

He also hadn't taken the news that Tony Stark could have hacked the entire thing in
thirty minutes or less very well either.

It was Thor's plan to remove the Aether that had Loki most on edge though.

"Let me get this straight. You want to take the Aether to Malekith and attempt to
destroy it once he removes the energy from Jane."

"It will be vulnerable once he removes it from Jane," said Thor.

"Are you really this much of an idiot or are you just pretending to be? Never mind,
don't bother to answer. Every time I come back I'm reminded why Earth is so much
easier to tolerate."

Thor looked suitable offended.

Loki sighed.

"This...might be the most insane, idiotic and outright brainless thing you have ever
come up with...however..."

Thor perked up.

"It's also the best chance we have of containing the Aether safely before Malekith
can use it. The only issue would be the chances of the arc reactor's energy
combining with the Aether," said Loki.

Thor made a point to check if anyone was listening. He had already done it by
coming to Loki to suggest what could very well be treason of the highest order.
But considering what he did know of the arc reactor's energy source it was best to
make sure.

"Are we absolutely certain no one can overhear this?"

Loki rolled his eyes.

"Gabriel has full control over Asgard's defenses. No one would come near us
without him telling me. And this area is laced with enough spells that no one
would hear us anyway."

"I know there's a major risk, putting those two together. But the risk of Malekith is
one I will not suffer idly. Besides, if we do this right no one will realize what
happened to the Aether outside of us. Especially if we give them a decoy," said
Thor.

Loki looked quite impressed. This was almost cunning of Thor.

"You mean for me to make a second container, one with the Aether alone to throw
them off," said Loki.

"All the realms are aware we have reclaimed the Tesseract. We would be fools to
allow it to be placed in the same area as the Aether. So if we were to contain the
brunt of it inside Gabriel's power core..."

"No one would realize until after they tried to put them together. I'm almost
impressed, brother. I might actually praise you if we pull this off."

Thor knew that the Aether and the Tesseract were two of the six Infinity Gems.
Only a fool would keep two of them so close together. A fool or a madman.

Loki looked at his brother, then brought up the PDA.

"Gabriel, if we succeed in containing the Aether in the reactor, I want you to start
planning an escape route. Someone will sense what we've done and I for one don't
want you destroyed by Odin because of well-justified paranoia," said Loki.

"Good thing I've had time to analyze the energy generated by the Convergence
then. Though a little more data would be nice to have," said Gabriel.

"With what we're about to pull, you're about to get more than enough. We can't risk
staying on any of the nine realms known to Odin once he finds out what we're
about to do," said Loki.

Loki started the preparations to leave the Nine Realms he was familiar with once
he dropped off the antidote with Eir. Once Frigga's condition had improved enough
for her to handle being pulled out of the potion's grip, the antidote would be
administered. From her expertize, that would be several months at the least. The
damage was easy to repair, but allowing the muscles to accept the healing would
take several weeks. Not to mention the fact the potion Loki used had been created
several centuries since Asgard quit visiting Earth.

As such, Odin was still more than a little skeptical about their effectiveness.

Gabriel was an expert at multitasking, running the scan of the energy being
generated, making lists and arrangements so they could slip away with minimal
damage to the business Loki set up, reminding the man that he had to pack up his
'house' before he left.
There was a reason why Loki relied on Gabriel to be his personal assistant. He did
a better job at managing his life than Loki did whenever he was interested in
something. It was the same way with Tony.

Once they were in full creative frenzy, there was simply no way they could stop
and remember little details like appointments or eating.

It was a good thing Loki knew how to disappear.

***

Loki couldn't help it. The second he found out Thor's plan to escape Asgard long
enough to get Jane to the Dark Elf homeworld, he burst out laughing.

Thor was extremely annoyed and had to keep reminding himself that Loki was
essential in getting the Aether out of Jane, that he couldn't smite his brother, that
the only one who had a chance of keeping the nine realms safe was keeping Loki
alive.

It did not help that Loki's wit included quite a few snarky remarks about his
'ability' to fly. Thor would have let him do so if only to shut him up, but the fact of
the matter was that Loki was only trying to keep his unease about the situation to
himself.

That didn't mean he had to enjoy Loki's smart ass comments about it though.

He took somewhat vindictive pleasure in shoving Loki out the craft and onto the
waiting boat where Fandral was piloting. Loki's surprised yelp was particularly
satisfying.

"You are an ass," growled Loki.

"You deserved it," countered Thor.

Loki smacked Thor on the head before he took control, his irritation evident on his
face.

He wasn't surprised when Fandral left to deal with the extras they hadn't thrown
off. He was glad to be rid of the spare.

"Loki..."

"If it were easy, everyone would do it."

"Are you mad?"

"Quite possibly," said Loki with a smirk. If he were mad, then it was the same
madness that infected Tony Stark. He was actually grinning when they appeared
through the path. "Ta-da."

***

Thor was monitoring Jane's condition. She was only getting worse now, not better.

"Loki. There is something I must ask of you, before we go into battle."

"Ask. Depending on what it is I might not answer," said Loki.

"Why? Why are you so accepting of the fact you may never return to Asgard?"

Loki kept his eyes straight ahead. But he still spoke, though it was quiet and Thor
had to strain to hear it.

"Tell me Thor, do you think me blind? Or deaf?"

Thor said nothing.

"Asgard is not my home. It never was. And that fact became abundantly clear upon
my return after Odin's punishment came full circle. The only one who was even
remotely accepting of me being there was our mother. Not one, not even a single
person cared if I even lived or died on Earth."

The silence was palpable as Loki continued. This was something Thor had realized
himself, but he had been too afraid and angry to admit it.

"Do you know why I returned to Earth, despite the fact I could have helped clean
up the other realms upon the chaos that followed? After my return I started paying
more attention to those around me. When I made my own version of the craft we
are currently on, the only people who were interested or cared were you and
mother. Even Odin never showed a single iota of interest in the fact I was trying to
do something new. Asgard may claim superiority over the nine realms, but the fact
is that compared to humanity they are sorely lacking. At least on Earth I had
someone I could relate to. Asgard is the one that was left behind when we cut
ourselves off, not the other way around," said Loki softly.

Loki had witnessed humanity's ability to strive for more. Their insatiable hunger to
be better, to improve until they reached the limit of what was possible. Their desire
to understand the universe, despite their limited ability to comprehend half of it.

Being human for nearly twenty years hadn't made him weaker...in fact Loki was
grateful for Odin's favorite punishment. Experiencing even a fraction of that empty
void all humans felt in their souls had opened his eyes in ways even the Tesseract
could have accomplished.
It made him realize that his hatred with the Asgardians didn't stem entirely from
his resentment of the way they treated him. It was also because for the 'greatest of
the Nine Realms' in terms of advancement, they had stagnated. The only
innovations were small ones. They had stopped improving. Stopped trying to
create anything new from things they had.

Combine that with the way they treated Loki because he tried to do something new
a few times, only for others to either completely ignore his new idea, or worse,
mock him for actually using his brain...it was no wonder the person he was before
had jumped on the chance to piss off Odin and get back at Thor.

"Loki..."

"Let's be honest Thor. I've never fit in on Asgard, and while Earth is still very
young, it's the only place where my full potential was not only encouraged, but
welcomed with open arms. It's rather ironic, really. The same beings I tried to rule
out of petty jealousy towards you and anger towards Odin ended up being the same
ones that showed me the truth and saving my from myself," said Loki.

He wouldn't be surprised if, in a few centuries, Asgard ended up being the ones
who had to catch up to the Earth.

***
This was it. Maliketh was taking the Aether from Jane Foster's body. Thor used the
distraction Loki gave him to blast it with his lightning, turning it into shards.

What the Dark Elf King didn't notice was Loki opening up the panel that accessed
the arc reactor powering Gabriel's holographic ball and grabbing a single shard of
the Aether.

The second the shard touched the reactor, which had been boosted with the
temporary direct link to the Tesseract, it was partially absorbed.

Enough for Loki to steal the rest later.

As far as Odin and the rest of the Nine Realms would be aware, Loki would die
sealing the Aether away. It would give him all the time he needed to get his things
off Earth, say goodbye to Natasha and the others, and flee the Yggdrasil using the
power of the Convergence.

Thor barely managed to keep Loki alive when he nearly went flying into the dark
matter grenade. Malekith escaped with most of the Aether. Thor, Jane and Loki
went into a nearby cave to avoid the oncoming storm.

"Why are there so many shoes?" asked a confused Thor. Loki rolled his eyes,
wincing as he felt the wound from earlier stretch.

"Jane found a convergence point before she stumbled upon the Aether. And
knowing Darcy she decided to have fun with it," said Loki.
Jane didn't deny it.

"Loki, how's your wound?" asked Jane.

"I'll live. The sooner we get this over with, the better off the Nine Realms will be."

'Even if I won't be around to see it,' Loki privately added.

Suddenly Jane's phone went off. It was Darcy.

***

"Dammit Darcy, I told you to keep his pants on!" said Loki.

"He said he thinks better without them!"

"I don't care if he thinks better buck ass naked, I don't want to see the bare ass of
someone as wrinkled as him!" shouted Loki.
Thor was watching this exchange with some amusement.

"That's rich coming from you," said Erik.

"Hello, shapeshifter? At least I can change my form into something appealing

without clothes on! And I don't look like something a mummy dragged out of it's
tomb!"

Darcy snickered.

"No comments from the peanut gallery!" barked Loki. Darcy snickered even
harder.

Loki would miss her wit. She was one of the few people who could match him
snark for snark.

Loki realized there was a lot he would miss on Earth. More than Asgard at any
rate. Unfortunately the benefits of leaving outweighed any reason he had to stay,
especially with what he was planning to do.

"Right. Tell me where to head when you have a location, I have to pick up a few
things," said Loki.
***

"Hey Harry. What's going on?" asked Tony. Suddenly he focused entirely on
Harry...no, this was Loki now. Somehow he got the feeling he wouldn't like what
he was going to say.

"I have to leave."

"What, did your dad tell you something or..."

"No. I mean I have to leave all the Nine Realms behind. There is a weapon, a very
powerful weapon that if completed could destroy everything. And unfortunately
what I'm about to do would go a long way to pulling that off. If and when Odin
finds out, he'll destroy Gabriel without hesitation. Frankly leaving was an easier
option."

"So you're here partially to say goodbye, but also to pick up your stuff," said Tony.

"Pretty much. You're actually one of the few I will miss."

"Can't you do that Dr. Who thing with Gabriel so you can reach us anyway?"
"You mean the 'infinite signal range'?" asked Loki.

"Yeah."

"I might be able to do something like that, though I would have to cover my tracks
more than usual. Maybe send it through JARVIS. I know for a fact the only ones
on Asgard who will know about this will be Thor and Frigga, and that's because
they're the only ones who give a damn."

"Well if you're going away for who knows how long, then let's make sure you're
prepared for any inspirational sparks," said Tony.

If he was going to lose one of the best sources of inspiration, then he was going to
be damn sure that the guy had plenty of toys to bring back if he ever had the
chance.

By the time Jane texted him the location, Loki had packed everything he would
need for a very long and extended vacation. For once he was glad that he had never
gotten any further with Natasha outside of a few nice dates.

Loki took one last look at Stark Tower. It was the closest thing to a home he had
ever gotten, next to his 'house'.

Either way, he had to wait until he was sure that Odin wouldn't kill Gabriel just
because they were using his holo-ball to contain two Infinity Gems.
Chapter 21

Merry Christmas to all! For your Christmas present, I'll post the sequel later
tonight!

***

Loki had just finished packing everything when he noticed

something...odd..coming from his desk. Normally this wouldn't worry him too
much, except this particular drawer had all the effects of Dumbledore which had
been given to him by his twin brother who owned the Hog's Head Tavern as his
way to pay 'Harry' back for all the pain his brother had caused him over the years.

Though the wand he took personally from the old goat, once they found out the
hard way the blasted thing wouldn't be snapped in half. It was later revealed the
thing was some sort of power amplifier for magical cores, boosting them beyond
normal limits. When Loki looked at his invisibility cloak, he found it was actually
made of heavily magicked Asgardian cloth, hence why the enchantment had yet to
fade and the cloak was still useable.

The only 'Hallow' that Loki refused to examine was the Resurrection Stone, which
he still had no idea how Dumbledore even found it...or why it had that strange
marking on it. After reading about the Infinity Gems when he learned the Tesseract
was one, he wanted nothing to do with anything that even remotely resembled the
most dangerous of the six. Well, that and he really didn't want to deal with a pissed
off Hel after his ass.

By all accounts the Stone would bring back a shade of the dead, but the thing had
just as bad a history as the wand did. Aside from removing the curses Riddle put
on the thing, and removing it from the ring to keep anyone from accidentally
wearing it, Loki had all but forgotten he even had it.

So why was the thing acting up now of all times?

Loki pulled open the drawer...and stared in horror at what was inside.

The second his mind registered what was actually in there, he slammed it shut and
counted to ten. His luck couldn't possibly be this bad...or if it was, he briefly
wondered who in Helhiem he pissed off this much in his past lives.

The stone, which had been a bone white color the same shade as the wand, was
green. The 'marking' of the Hallows was gone completely and for the scant time he
had the drawer open he heard whispering from it.
If it wasn't imperative he left this area before, it most certainly was now. If Odin
learned he had this in his possession without realizing it... or worse, Thanos found
out... Loki shuddered.

He had no desire for absolute power. Not since he grew up and got over the fact he
was adopted and that he didn't actually want the throne of Asgard. Besides, history
in any of the nine realms spoke ill of those who got too confident after receiving
power that they didn't develop naturally. Power earned was far more reliable than
any power gained by outside influences. It was why he had Gabriel show him how
to locate the outer branches of the Yggdrasil through the old paths rather than rely
on the power of the Tesseract to escape the realms he was known in.

Well...that and it was a great test of his ability to traverse the old paths without any
outside aid. It had been a long time since he had a decent magical challenge like
that.

Loki took a deep breath to calm himself, place his 'box' as Tony liked to call it in
his bag where it wouldn't be jostled too much by his 'death' and escape, and went to
join Thor. Gabriel had already been transferred into a newer holoball, allowing
Loki to safely contain the Aether in the reactor without having to mingle the
Tesseract's energy with the Aether. And that had been a pain in the ass to separate
what little had been corrupted when he shoved the shard into the reactor.

Tony had at least given him several replacement reactors.

***
When Loki arrived, he very firmly kept his mouth shut about the discovery he had
made in his house. The less Thor knew about that, the better. Especially since he
was already pushing it because Thor knew he would be taking the Infinity Gems
controlling Space and Reality with him to another world where no one would be
able to find him. Without those two, no one would be able to complete the
Gauntlet. And with the one he hadn't realized he had in his possession, it would be
impossible for anyone to try and complete it anyway.

He let his brother get his anger out at Malekith for nearly killing their mother, and
when the idiot tried to unleash the Aether through the connected portals, he
charged in with Thor.

The red reactor (which contained the Aether shard) started to pull in more and
more of the red mist around him, allowing Thor to aim properly. Because they
found a way to drain the blue energy of the Tesseract into another vessel, the
reactor would now run on the Aether. With any luck Thor would kill Malekith,
thus insuring the only one who would be aware Loki had the Aether under his
control was Thor.

Finally the reactor started pulsing red, much like it did when Tony accidentally
tapped into the Tesseract for the first time. It was now running completely off of
the energy generated by the Aether.

Loki hissed at his brother, who took the hint.

Thor got Malekith to aim a part of the Aether in Loki's direction, and Loki used the
blast to hide the fact he 'slipped' into the old paths. He could always access them
wherever he was, having the Convergence around just made it much easier.

Every realm saw the attack, and believed Loki was killed by the blast. Even Odin
saw it, and thought his son was dead.

***

Loki was tumbling through the old paths, never a good idea even on the best
occasion. It took him a few moments to gather his wits and regain control. Gabriel
was firmly attached to him with a thin wire cord.

"Where to now Boss?"

"I do believe now would be the perfect time to meet your namesake. Or at least
find out how those books keep ending up in my house," said Loki.

Every time a new book came out, it always appeared by Loki's bedside table. Last
month it didn't appear, leading him to believe that either the series had finished...or
that was as much forewarning as he would get from whoever was sending the
books in the first place.
At this point he was inclined to believe it was the 'Prophet', who he suspected was
the "God" of the Supernatural series in hiding. It would certainly explain quite a
bit.

Loki grinned.

"I do believe it's time for another adventure. At least Thor isn't here to muck things
up," said Loki.

And with that, he started walking.

***

In Asgard, three months later...

Frigga woke up. The last thing she remembered was Loki giving her some potion
that caused her body to seize up...then nothing.
Before her was a solemn (yet relieved looking) Odin, a tired Eir and her sons Thor
and Baldur. The first question she asked was "Where is Loki?"

Odin's solemn expression turned sorrowful.

"Loki fell to Malekith in order to buy Thor time to destroy him. His body was
completely destroyed," said Baldur sadly.

Frigga, however focused on Thor's expression. Next to her, he was the closest to
Loki. Unlike Baldur or Odin, his face wasn't sad or solemn...it was like he wanted
to say something but had to keep his silence.

And with that expression alone she had the feeling Loki was very much alive, but
in hiding. The question was why, and if that was the case what could possibly be
so important that Thor couldn't inform Odin of the truth?

It took a few weeks for her to get back to normal, but once she did her new mission
was to get the truth either out of Thor, or to find out herself using her Seer's ability.

When Thor proved surprisingly tight-lipped, even to his friends when they
disparaged his brother without caring about the fact Loki had 'sacrificed' himself to
help Thor, she decided to see his death for herself.

Once she did, she understood exactly what happened, and why Thor was keeping
his silence.
Loki was alive, and he had taken the real Aether with him to keep it safe. Only a
fool would keep the Reality Gem so close to the Space Gem, and knowing Odin he
had given it to someone else to keep safe. Loki didn't trust chance and he certainly
didn't trust his 'father' after what happened before. Stealing the real Gem and going
into hiding was definitely his style.

Frigga wished her son luck. With his current history of adventures, he was going to
need it.

***

And that is how I'm ending Tricksters and Gods. No way am I doing another triple
crossover when it would be easier to simply make a sequel.

To be honest, I had to look up the Infinity Gems and the Infinity Gauntlet just to
breath life back into this story long enough to finish it. I'll bring it back to Marvel-
verse completely when they start making more movies with Thor and the Avengers
in them. Until then, it's Loki in the Supernatural universe mucking things up while
confusing the heck out of his angel counterpart...oh, and the Winchesters to. The
title will be Pagans and Angels!
Thanks for your continued support!