Teachers of English to Speakers of Other Languages, Inc.

(TESOL)

The Role of Hidden Identities in the Postsecondary ESL Classroom

Author(s): Stephanie Vandrick
Source: TESOL Quarterly, Vol. 31, No. 1 (Spring, 1997), pp. 153-157
Published by: Teachers of English to Speakers of Other Languages, Inc. (TESOL)
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The Role of Hidden Identitiesin the
PostsecondaryESL Classroom
STEPHANIE VANDRICK
Universityof San Francisco

* The ESL classroom is composed of a mixture of people with various

backgrounds and identities. This mixture of identities is a given and a
large part of the identity of the ESL class itself. But besides the obvious
identities-ethnic and language backgrounds, gender, teacher versus
student-many identities can be or are hidden, invisible. For example,
lesbian and gay students or teachers may be invisible because it is
assumed that everyone is heterosexual. People of certain ethnic or
religious minorities, such as Jewish or Native American students or
teachers, may remain invisible as such. Other possibly hidden identities
include having disabilities such as dyslexia or clinical depression; suffer-
ing from illnesses such as AIDS, diabetes, cancer, or anorexia/bulimia;
coming from various class backgrounds; and living with or surviving
incest, rape, or domestic violence. How might these identities and their
hidden aspect affect the ESL classroom and its participants? What might
ESL administrators and faculty members do in response to the identities
and their ramifications in the classroom?
Teachers cannot ignore the possibility of people with hidden identi-
ties in their classrooms. Nelson (1993) says that "we need to assume that
we have gay students in each of our classes" (p. 148). In addition, Dobkin
and Sippy (1995) note that "1 in 4 women will be attacked by a rapist
during her college career, and 1 in 7 will actually be raped" (pp. 500-
501) and that "90% of college rape victims know their attackers" (p.
496). Regarding another hidden identity common at colleges, Dobkin
and Sippy state that "up to 5% of U.S. college women have bulimia" (p.
285). Pretending that these conditions do not exist among ESL students
(and faculty) is putting our heads in the sand; these identities exist on
university campuses, and they exist among students from all over the
world.
Hidden identities are not negative, in the sense of marking the person
as inferior or bad, although some people may perceive them as such. In
some cases, the hidden identities are even considered positive or a
privilege. For example, students from very affluent backgrounds some-
times consider it prudent to conceal that background, at least partially
(Vandrick, 1995). And academically "gifted" students sometimes play
down their talents. In both cases students perhaps fear jealousy and
negative repercussions.
Everyone clearly has multiple identities, hidden or otherwise. Any

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particular identity should not be considered alone to define a person. In
addition, different identities come to the forefront at different times; at
times, certain identities may be largely irrelevant.

THE PRIVILEGE AND COST OF HIDING

An important feature of these identities, as opposed to racial or other
ethnic or gender identities, is that they normally can be hidden. The fact
that it is a person's choice whether to reveal these identities can be a
privilege, perhaps exempting people from certain kinds of attention or
prejudice. It is a privilege in that there is a choice that does not generally
exist for those who suffer discrimination on the basis of race, for
example. But the choice may not in fact feel like one. Nelson (1993)
points out, "Because of heterosexism, those of us who are involved in gay
culture often feel we must hide any expression of that culture. When gay
teachers walk into the office or the classroom, most of us feel compelled
to hide many of our life experiences" (p. 144). And even if there is a
choice, that fact can also lead to psychological problems of guilt or
ambivalence. For example, gay teachers or students may feel that they
should be "out" in order to be true to themselves, to provide a model for
other gays, or to show pride rather than shame. But these same
individuals may feel fear, knowing that there may be very real, possibly
even dangerous, consequences of being out. So they are torn and
expend much energy on wondering what they should do, when they
should do it, and what the consequences will be. This is energy diverted
from their work and studies and from moving forward with life. Or
people living with abuse may know that they should report it and
perhaps get help but may be afraid to speak of it because it feels
shameful or disloyal to do so, because they do not know if anyone will
actually help, or because discovery may cause frightening changes in
their lives or may bring on even more (perhaps retaliatory) abuse. Again,
this inner conflict takes up a tremendous amount of emotional energy
and affects the person's studies or teaching. People with hidden disabili-
ties (e.g., epilepsy or schizophrenia) may feel that they should educate
others about the disability yet fear that they will be stigmatized, perhaps
treated with exaggerated carefulness, or, worse yet, treated as mentally or
even morally deficient, as Weaver (1996) describes deaf students being
treated. On some level, the hidden conflicts felt by these students and
perhaps teachers, along with the hidden identity itself, affect the other
members of the classroom community. The reason for the effects may be
mysterious to the other participants, but they will likely sense that
something is hidden and is causing distress.
Besides being significant in themselves, hidden identities also serve as
a kind of metaphor for all the things that are unmentioned in the

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 classroom and academic world: all the secrets, all the subtexts. For
example, many students-and faculty members-secretly feel inad-
equate, as if they do not measure up. This may be especially true of those
who grew up in working-class or poor families, where it was not assumed
that they would automatically move into the world of higher education.
These groups, as well as women, in many cases have enjoyed the support
and high expectations throughout their lives that more privileged
students usually have. An added dimension is the need of most young
people to conform with and be accepted by their peers; students with any
differences will likely try to keep them hidden. So all these hidden
identities, both objective and psychological, form an iceberg below the
surface in the classroom. They are the hidden context that may be much
more important than the tip of the iceberg above the surface-the more
obvious identities openly revealed. This huge hidden area is all the more
potent because it is seldom or only superficially acknowledged.
Other secrets or subtexts may involve teachers' and students' attitudes
toward education, toward the classroom, toward each other. Students
may resent teachers' power to grade them; teachers may resent students'
power to evaluate them or to "obstruct" the orderly process of teaching.
Teachers may feel students are lazy, unprepared, even unintelligent.
Students, in turn, may feel the teacher is lazy, unprepared, or wasting
their time. Teachers or students may feel sexually attracted to someone
else in the classroom and may feel conflict or guilt about those feelings.
Or they may feel repulsed by someone in the classroom and may feel
ambivalence or guilt about that, especially if the repulsion springs from
such attributes as disability, race, or class.
Hidden identities exist in any classroom; they may be particularly
significant in the ESL classroom, where, almost by definition, students
feel that they have been judged wanting and in need of remedial work to
reach the level of other students at the university. Students may even feel
stupid or inferior (Peirce, 1995) or may be treated as such because of
their inadequate English language skills. Faculty too often feel that they,
their programs, and the whole field of ESL are treated as inferior
stepchildren in academe. Students may even attempt to pass as regular
students, not acknowledging to their parents or friends that they have
been required to take ESL classes. Faculty may attempt to pass by
emphasizing that they teach English or writing. So the individual hidden
identities exist within a kind of tent of a larger hidden, or camouflaged,
ESL identity.
Besides the effects of class members' interior conflict over hiding their
identities, the ESL classroom is shaped by the existence of these
identities in several ways. First, students or faculty may experience a
constant strain in sustaining a false identity, or passing, for which they
pay a psychic price. They may worry about slipping and letting out

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information unawares. This latter fear may be intensified by students'
imperfect grasp of the English language. People in this situation may
also suffer psychological trauma from leading what they feel is an
unauthentic life, a kind of self-betrayal (especially if they have not
internalized the idea that their "problem" is not their identity but
society's response to that identity). Hidden identities may also cause a
kind of muffling of discussion in the classroom, in which no one is sure
whether members of the group being discussed are present and every-
one is tiptoeing around the topic or, worse still, everybody blithely
assumes no members of the group in question are present. Another
effect may be that faculty misjudge students who are not performing well
in class, not knowing the hidden context for the students' performance.
Students may also lose the opportunity to receive guidance or referral to
appropriate resources.

POWER, BOUNDARIES, AND IDEOLOGIES

Much of the above relates to boundaries, power, and ideologies. What
are the boundaries in the classroom? Which aspects of a person's identity
are public, and which are private? Teachers talk about making the
classroom a safe place, but can it be truly so? If instructors explicitly try
to make it a safe place, how can they be sure that students will preserve
that safety? How does the distribution of power relate to participants'
knowledge of each others' possibly hidden identities? For example,
because instructors always have a certain power, how can students be sure
that self-revelation will not somehow harm them? Students have a certain
power over faculty, too, through student evaluations, word of mouth,
class enrollment figures, and comments to administrators; self-revelation
could thus be perilous for instructors, too, especially for those whose jobs
are insecure, which is the case for many ESL instructors. And how do the
ideologies and beliefs of the individuals in the classroom shape their
needs to hide or reveal identities and shape their responses to the hiding
or revealing of others' identities?

ACTIVELY CREATING A SAFE CLASSROOM

I can offer no magic formula for how faculty and administrators can or
should handle the existence of hidden identities and the problems that
may be caused by the hidden nature of the identities or by the (potential
or actual) uncovering of the hitherto hidden identities. The main point
is awareness. Instructors particularly need to be aware of the possibility of
the existence of various identities that are hidden. Being aware that a
person with a certain identity or situation may be sitting in the classroom
should increase vigilance about ignorant or derogatory remarks in class
materials and discussions. Despite the difficulties mentioned above

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regarding creating safe classrooms, instructors should actively attempt to
create classrooms where people feel safe and feel they can be open about
various aspects of their lives and identities, even if they do not choose to
do so. The key word here is actively.It is not enough to avoid discrimina-
tory materials or remarks. Instructors need to create ways to tell and
show their classes their openness and understanding. If certain identities
are never spoken of, it may seem to students (not only to students with
that identity but also to the other students in the class) that there is
something shameful about that identity, which is best left unmentioned
(in the best Victorian tradition). When an instructor discusses a topic or
an identity openly, it demystifies the identity; it somehow makes the
identity more usual, more matter of fact. Nelson (1993) notes that "the
more comfortable I have become in talking about gay issues in the
classroom, the more students seem comfortable. They will discuss gay
issues if it feels safe enough to do so" (p. 146). The same is true for other
identity issues. In addition, instructors need to be aware that discussion
of certain sensitive topics could be upsetting to certain students. Con-
sider the case of the bulimic young woman who suddenly finds class
discussion centering on eating disorders and perhaps hears classmates
expressing disbelief or disgust regarding such behavior. The student will
probably be unwilling to speak up and identify herself as bulimic or even
to try to explain reasons for eating disorders but will likely be profoundly
uncomfortable with the discussion. Instructors should definitely not
avoid such discussion but should watch for signs of distress and provide
channels through which students can express their feelings. Such
channels could include writing in a journal or speaking to instructors
after class or in their office. Faculty can also make available information
about resources such as campus counseling centers, support groups, and
hot lines.
The ESL classroom of all places should be a place of tolerance,
humanity, and safety. Creating such an atmosphere there may have a
ripple effect as students take this attitude with them into the world
outside the classroom door.

REFERENCES

Dobkin, R., & Sippy, S. (1995). Educatingourselves:The collegewoman'shandbook.New

York: Workman.
Nelson, C. (1993). Heterosexism in ESL: Examining our attitudes. TESOLQuarterly,
27, 143-150.
Peirce, B. N. (1995). Social identity, investment, and language learning. TESOL
Quarterly,29, 9-31.
Vandrick, S. (1995). Privileged ESL university students. TESOLQuarterly,29, 375-381.
Weaver, M. A. (1996). Transcending "conversing": A deaf student in the Writing
Center. JAC:A Journal of CompositionTheory,16, 241-251.

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